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Quarta-feira, 15 / 05 / 19

6 Types of People Who Love Playing the Victim and How to Deal with Them ~ Sherrie.

6 Types of People Who Love Playing the Victim and How to Deal with Them.

By Sherrie.

May 14th, 2019

 

Dealing with those who are playing the victim can be exhausting. Who exactly are these people?
It’s hard to talk about the victim mentality because many people have no idea they’re adopting it. It can be upsetting when they learn this truth.
Don’t know what it means to play the victim? Well, that’s because so many character flaws and toxic behaviors like this are seen as normal. The fact is, being a victim and having a victim mentality isn’t the same.

Who is playing the victim game?

Playing games with people’s lives is a manipulative act. People play roles in order to get what they want, or simply because of their upbringing. They may be stuck in a negative pattern due to childhood abuse, neglect, or trauma.
Here are a few types of people who tend to use the victim mentality:

1. The selfish

Those who act in a selfish manner will use the victim strategy. Sadly, when it comes to choosing others over themselves, playing the role of the victim will remove guilt when being selfish instead.
It will also make others feel sorry for them and give in to their wants and demands. Selfless people, on the other hand, try not to use the victim mentality in order to help others without putting the spotlight on their own needs. It’s just a different mindset altogether.

2. Controlling individuals

Some people absolutely must be in control no matter what’s happening in their lives. They use pity to make sure things go their way. They want to control the outcome of their lives and the people in it as well.
If they cannot control others in any other way, they will turn to playing games and playing the victim.

3. Parasitic people

Sometimes people like this understand what they are doing, and sometimes they do not. You can become a parasitic person when you’re trying to build your self-esteem off others who feel more confident.
Being the victim allows you to feed off the compliments of others which ultimately drains them. You see, when you’re a victim, you will never get enough of praise and support. You could have been a real victim in the past, and now you’re stuck in this mentality.

4. Those afraid of anger

I’ve noticed many people using the victim game because of the inability to properly deal with their anger. In some cases, they are afraid of the consequences of their anger, or maybe they’ve experienced situations where they’ve lost control, and they hate the feeling.
Either way, the victim mentality eventually replaces the ability to have healthy angry feelings and hinders the proper processing of these feelings and emotions.
Remember, it’s okay to feel anger, it’s just not okay to misuse this feeling. It’s even worse to become a perpetual victim.

5. The mentally ill

People who suffer from mental illness will often play the victim. Yes, and I have done this too. Most of the time, it’s due to feeling overwhelmed by the symptoms of the illness.
With bipolar disorder, for example, the victim mentality may come after a severe bout of mania due to the refusal to take medication. Instead of accepting the fault of not taking their medication, they may play the victim to keep from accepting responsibility for the negative actions from their illness.
No, we should never be too hard on the mentally ill, but everyone has to take a certain amount of responsibility at some point, especially when that person understands what to do.

6. Trauma survivors

While it is completely normal to feel victimized after trauma, it’s not normal to hold onto being a victim forever. You must remind yourself, or remind your loved ones, that enduring traumaand healing makes you a survivor and no longer a victim.
This, like the case of mental illness, is a sensitive topic, so tread lightly when trying to help others. Also, be kind to yourself, if this is you, but also keep trying to restructure and rebuild your life.

Dealing with the victim mentality

If you’re the one playing the role of victim, you must look within. What are your inner voices saying to you? Are you telling yourself that life isn’t fair to you? If so, there are probably other statements you’re using to justify your behavior.
You have to stop the negative voices. I know how hard this can be, but you can take one small step at a time. Practice turning those statements around into powerful assertions which help build your self-esteem. You don’t have to play the victim in order to solve a problem. It just seems like the easier way out.
If the one who is stuck in playing these patterns is your loved one or friend, then helping them transform their inner dialogue will help a bit.
You must understand, however, that changing thought patterns and inner statements will have to be done by the one who thinks these things. So, have patience if you’re willing to help.
Stand firm. Let your friends and loved ones know that you will not be taken for granted by victimizing behavior. While it’s okay to help people heal, it’s not okay to destroy yourself in the process.
I hope this has helped you understand what playing the role of victim means and who does this. Now, that you know, you can tackle this situation properly and take back control of your own life. I wish you well in your endeavors to be a better person and help others do the same.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://www.lifehack.org

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 07:47
Sexta-feira, 25 / 01 / 19

7 Different Types of Anger and the Hidden Causes Behind Each ~ Sherrie.

7 Different Types of Anger and the Hidden Causes Behind Each.

By Sherrie.

January 24th, 2019 

 

types of anger.

 

 

Anger is an interesting emotion which comes from many different places. Understanding the various types of anger helps you also harness this feeling.

Before you start being judgemental about anger, take pause for a moment. Anger isn’t a “sin”, but what we do with that anger is what we deem to be wrong. There are so many types of anger developed from various emotions and experiences. Depending on what life is throwing at us, anger could be a number of things.

Anger in its many forms

Without delving too deeply into religion, I will give an example. In Christianity, Christ became angry one notable time. He walked through a temple and tossed tables and kicked over stands. Why did he do this? Because he was appalled by the gambling and other “unholy” things he witnessed in a holy place.
Now, it’s not for me to say what’s good or bad, but this is an example of what I call “righteous” anger and a testimony to how anger in itself is not bad. Righteous anger, for example, is anger based on morals and beliefs, many times spiritually based, you see. There are many types of anger as well, as I have said before.
There are many types of anger, yes, and these types represent reasoning of some sort. While some anger is slow to form, others can be a rapid burst of seemingly uncontrollable rage. In this rage is where we see anger taking on negative action.
So, let’s examine the different types of anger and the causes behind them.

1. Moral or righteous anger

As I stated above in the example, there are such things as righteous anger. It’s also called moral angerbecause it comes from being upset when someone breaks rules.
If you have rules set in a household and someone in that household breaks these rules, you will experience righteous anger. This is because most rules come from beliefs. Unfortunately, some people use the defense that you think you’re better than everyone else. It’s a common defense, and usually, just a way to deflect their guilt.
Now, let me tell you a secret about righteous anger. There is a hidden meaning behind this feeling. It seems that when someone gets strict in their righteous anger, it could be their attempt at control.
The truth is, righteous anger can go too far and turn you into a controlling and manipulative individual. So, be careful with that flaming sword.

2. Behavioral anger

Of all types of anger, this one is the most volatile. Behavioral anger is usually so strong that it turns physical. Now, this doesn’t mean that this anger always causes injuries.
Sometimes individuals who use this type of anger may only throw things or punch walls. Unfortunately, sometimes this emotion does result in attacking other people, and can certainly cause injuries and even legal consequences.
There are a few hidden secrets about this type of anger. Behavioral anger can come from past trauma or neglect. Without proper upbringing, a person cannot learn to control their emotions correctly, and with trauma, behavioral anger may be the only way to deal with hurts experienced early in life.
While so dangerous, this anger can still be treated and channeled in the right direction.

3. Habitual anger

When you’ve been angry for so long, it can be hard to stop being angry. This is not a joke, it’s a real problem. Habitual anger is a perpetual state of unrest and dissatisfaction with pretty much everything and everyone. When you try to deal with those who exhibit types of anger such as this, they will most often get angrier.
The hidden aspect of this anger lies within the past and trickles down through the years. Although this type of anger may have been born early in life, it has grown, due to various negative experiences in the years following.
For instance, if you are in your 4os, like me, then you’ve had several decades to feed and grow this anger. if you’ve had issues with habitual anger, then by now, your life may be a walking nightmare. Sorry, the truth hurts….but the good news is, you can learn to heal from this too.

4. Self-harm

Yes, self-harm is more than just depression. The act of self-harm can actually be a form of anger against one’s self. When people cut their skin, they could be exhibiting anger for how they look or their own conditions. It’s a complicated matter to understand sometimes, but it’s a negative emotion which must be revealed.
The hidden aspects of self-harm can come from many places. Self-harm can come from past abuse, trauma, neglect and so on. It can also come from repeated disappointments and broken relationships.
Basically, instead of focusing anger outward, people who suffer from self-harm may focus these emotions on the person within.

5. Vengeance

One of the most common types of anger is vengeance or revenge anger. It’s a basic form of anger which has been around since the beginning of time. With this form of anger, there’s usually not a lot of premeditation, except for the plans of getting revenge which come along with the emotion.
To be honest, there is little-hidden meaning behind this type of anger. It is straightforward and to the ones who feel this emotion, it is pure in its intent. Those who exhibit vengeance feel the emotions and actions are warranted.

6. Passive-aggression

While this type of anger may seem harmless, it sometimes can do quite a bit of damage. It just doesn’t leave scars in the way you think. With passive aggressive anger, emotions tend to be pushed down for the most part.
There is resentment, sarcasm, and mockery, all hiding behind a façade. Because of their inability to express themselves in a healthy manner, those who suffer from passive-aggressive emotions will internalize what they really feel.
One hidden secret about this form of anger is that it’s said to come from childhood emotional abuse. Some children are taught to not express negative emotions, and so they grow up to think passive aggression is a logical way of dealing with problems.

7. Incidental anger

One form of anger that most people see as normal is incidental anger. The truth is, this is pretty much a normal reaction to certain situations of injustice. To have incidental anger is to witness something which should be changed and have the patience to address this in a healthy manner.
There are usually no hidden agendas or secrets where this type of anger is involved.

Dealing with the anger of all types

Different types of anger must be addressed in various ways. While some forms are easy to deal with, others can be dangerous. Sometimes even professional help will be needed when dealing with certain situations.
As I stated before, anger in itself is not a bad thing. It’s all depends on the actions and negative thought patterns that you choose to utilize when you lose your temper. For future references, learn more about what makes you angry and how you can deal with this anger in the right way.
References:
  1. https://stress.lovetoknow.com
  2. https://www.everydayhealth.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.

 
 




Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

Archives:

 



Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.

 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


More @ http://violetflame.biz.ly and 
https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/




 

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publicado por achama às 23:35
Sexta-feira, 18 / 01 / 19

7 Hidden Causes of Fear That Could Explain Why You Avoid Some Things in Life ~ Sherrie.

7 Hidden Causes of Fear That Could Explain Why You Avoid Some Things in Life.

By Sherrie.

January 18th, 2019 

 

.

 

 

We, as humans, are afraid of many things, sometimes developing severe phobias. So, what are the hidden causes of fear? What are the reasons for these reactions?

When I was a little girl, I was afraid of the forest surrounding my house, but only at night. During the day, I ran through the woods without a care in the world. What made the difference between my time in the forest during the day, and my fear of what lurked there in the darkness. It’s strange if you think about it. What are these causes of fear?
Upon analyzing my fears, I come to a conclusion. I am afraid of the unknown. Since it was dark in the forest when I was afraid, this meant I could not see what dwelled there. It’s safe to say that the darkness covers the unknown and these unknown things cause feelings of fear. As an adult, I still suffer from the fear of the unknown, and many of us do.

The hidden causes of fear

Children being afraid of the dark is just something that most people understand, without fully understanding. Much like many other situations, we don’t really question the causes of fear.
But there are other kinds of fears, less tangible but just as important, and these other fears are the ones that can keep us from reaching our full potential. Now’s the time to analyze the causes of fear and understand a bit more about ourselves. Let’s take a look at a few reasons why we’re frightened.

1. Failure

One of the most common causes of fear is failure. So many of us refuse to leave our comfort zones because we are afraid of doing something wrong, something that could damage our lives forever. The fear of failure can be seen in those who procrastinate in taking steps toward things like new careers, education, or starting a relationship.
The fear of failure is often hidden behind the reasoning of why you shouldn’t take that step forward. It’s also camouflaged as self-sacrifice as well. Sometimes, instead of doing something to better yourself, you may choose to focus all your energies on others.
Doing for others is good, but not when you forget about your own goals and potential. Learn to recognize the signs of fear of failure in its early stages so you can improve your life accordingly.

2. Decidophobia

Yes, decidophobia is a real thing. It’s basically the fear of making decisions. Personally, I think my second child has this problem. Everything he does has to be thought over carefully, even the simplest of tasks. I believe that inside he is wrestling with the fear of making the wrong decision, and so he takes extreme measures of time to make the decision in the first place.
So, in my son’s case, his strategy is that if he takes long enough, the decision will become clear. In my experience, this is not true. It seems that if I take too long making a decision, it actually becomes much harder.
The fear of decision making can be crippling, stealing so much time from the rest of your life. So, why not practice forcing yourself to make quicker decisions and walk away. It will be painful, but it will help you see the fallacy in your logic.

3. Negative scenarios

One of the causes of fear revolves around the stories you play in your head. For instance, when you cannot reach a friend by phone, you may start to worry. When this happens, your mind starts to compensate for the absence of explanation.
In other words, if you don’t know where someone is or if they are okay, then your brain fills in the gap. Many times, these fabrications are negative.
While not everyone ruminates like this, many do. Building negative scenarios in your mind feeds your fear. If you start believing that your absent friend has been in an accident, then you start to fear those things. You actually fear far-fetched ideas.
If you allow yourself to think positive things instead, then you decrease your fears and breed peace.

4. Trust issues

So many of us have trust issues of some kind or other. That’s why we often have fears that something bad will happen. I remember telling friends about the walls around me. I built all these walls because of the hurtful things that happened in the past. Unfortunately, these walls kept the good things out as well.
I have trust issues, let’s just put that out there to help you understand. I am in constant fear of being betrayed by one person or the other. It affects most aspects of my life and I hate it. I try to relinquish these fears, but something happens that, again, fortifies that untrusting mindset.
All I can say is, we just have to try harder to break down the wall and let people love us. After all, it’s possible that they actually have good intentions.

5. Insecurities

This cause of fear is similar to trust issues, but not exactly the same. While insecurities can cause trust issues which in turn, can cause fears, insecurities alone can cause different sorts of fears.
Let’s say you are insecure about your weight and so you are afraid to wear certain things to the beach. You fear ridicule and you fear rejection. Insecurities have the power to destroy your self-image and that’s why it’s so important to practice self-love and realization in your life.
I often suffer from insecurities, but I stop myself and think about what I’m worth. My worth as a human being does not change according to things people say about me or how they treat me. I want you to remember this as well.

6. Perfectionism

One of the causes of fear that can really limit your life is perfectionism. If you think it’s important to be perfect, then any failure would be devastating.
So, if you sense an event would cause you to make mistakes, then you will not go to that event. You might not even date certain people in fear that they would see your imperfections. It can be quite crippling actually.
Since you have a fear of imperfection, you will often do nothing. This is the severe form of perfectionism. You may feel that if you partake in social activities or anything at all, you won’t be able to feel the same about yourself if not seen as perfect. You may have friends, but honestly, they will be few.

7. Past trauma

I think one of the most common causes of fear would be past trauma. Since I am in the sharing mood, I will share even more. I was abused, and I believe I have shared this many times. Because of my past trauma, I fear many things, especially people in general. Yes, I guess you can say I have a case of anthropophobia (fear of people).
Past traumas cause PTSD, anxiety and also physical health problems. Unfortunately, we don’t often address the common fears they produce. Past traumas can affect our social life, spiritual life, family life and more. Because of what happened to us, we will often avoid relationships or career changes.
Do an inventory of your life and see if anything from your past connects with your present fears. It could be interesting.

Fears aren’t the end of the world

Despite how prevalent your fears are in your life, there’s always hope for change. The causes of fears may be many and complex, but with understanding, you can find the key to unlock these fears. I hope this has helped you learn a bit more about yourself, and I wish you well.
References:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.

 
 




Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

Archives:

 



Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.

 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


More @ http://violetflame.biz.ly and 
https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/




 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily


 




 
publicado por achama às 23:31
A Luz está a revelar a Verdade, e esta libertar-nos-á! -Só é real o AMOR Incondicional. -Quando o Amor superar o amor pelo poder, o mundo conhecerá a Paz; Jimi Hendrix. -Somos almas a ter uma experiência humana!

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