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Sexta-feira, 22 / 05 / 20

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Worry Time: How to Schedule Your Anxieties 

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted May 22nd, 2020.

 
 
 
There’s a new way of dealing with anxiety. It’s a unique process called “worry time”, which schedules a time for your obsessive concerns.
For those who suffer from anxiety, worrying seems like a normal part of life. On a personal level, I worry way too much during the day, then keep myself up at night doing the same thing. I feel like I’m not in control of this worry.
Many of you may feel the same way, especially when an additional crisis is added to the mix. But here’s some good news: you can schedule worry time and this allows you to address your concerns, and then move on to other things the rest of the time.

What Is Worry Time?

Worry time is a cognitive-behavioral concept which actually helps you control your obsessive thoughts. It’s a paradox. You will purposely decide to worry at a specific time of the day. Why? Well, since you’re stressing all the time and wasting so much of your life with concerns, you can at least practice compartmentalizing that worry. You can do something else for the rest of the time.
For instance, take time to worry, then have productive thoughts the remainder of the day. So, since this is a schedule to worry, there have to be steps to follow in order to do it correctly, right? Let’s take a look.

How to Schedule Time to Worry

Halt your obsessive thoughts for a moment and listen up. Worrying is not so bad when it’s controlled. Although you assume you cannot control it, worry after consistent training can indeed be trained. Here are the steps you use for worry time:

1. Schedule the time

The first thing you must do is decide what times of the day you should worry. Yes, I know that sounds kind of silly, but cognitive-behavior therapy would disagree with you.
So, use a calendar, planner, or notepad and write down the time of day you wish to schedule a time for obsessive thoughts. A session of between 15 and 30 minutes is ideal for worry time. After that, you can go about your positive daily routines. And by the way, it’s advised that you do not schedule this right before bedtime. It’s more than likely to keep you from sleeping well.

2. Write things down

During your scheduled time to worry, make sure you write down your thoughts. You don’t have to find a solution in this 15-30-minute window, but if you do, then that is fine too. The objective is just to get your thoughts onto paper, so you can see exactly what’s troubling you, instead of just obsessing.
There is therapeutic power in taking thought and turning it into written information. You take it from you and put it somewhere else, and at the same time, you see all the truth in the thoughts as well.

3. Keep worries inside worry time

If you start to worry about things outside your designated worry time, then stop immediately. You must remind yourself that worry can only happen during its scheduled time. This will not be easy, and it will take some time to remember. Consistently catching your worries and putting them back into those neat little slots of your day will help you gain control.
Also, when worry time comes, please don’t dwell about all the times you worried outside of worry time. It’s counterproductive and just silly.

4. End of the week reflections

At the end of each week, go back and read the things you wrote during your scheduled worry time. Are there any patterns? What are the things you ponder about the most? Go ahead and ask yourself any questions you want in order to understand more about your concerns. And yes, you should also schedule the “end of the week reflection on your worries” just like you did with the worry time in each day.
Your reflections are healthy, but take care and don’t dwell on repetitive problems and feel defeated. Just keep moving forward with the same schedule as before.

5. Make it long term

After a week or so of this practice, you may want to just continue. In fact, I recommend this. If you practice this routine for the long term, you will strengthen your thoughts, make it easier to control your worries, and also learn more about structure and focus. So, just keep going and see where it leads you.

Worry isn’t all bad

It’s not horrible to be concerned about things in life. Right now, I am concerned about our world and the nation in which I live. Every day, I check the headlines to see if things have improved, but sadly, it seems to get worse day by day. With scheduling worry time, I can allow myself to deconstruct these headlines and keep them from taking over my entire day with stress and anxiety.
You’re not alone. I have anxiety and many others do as well. But the fact is, you don’t need to have anxiety to practice worry time. You can schedule even the smallest amount of time for concerns each day. Whether large or small, your worries can be set aside for examination. I coax you to try this technique.
Let me know how it works for you!
References:
  1. https://www.livescience.com
  2. https://www.helpguide.org

 Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 


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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
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With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
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Quinta-feira, 21 / 05 / 20

6 Signs of a Spiritual Crisis or Emergency: Are You Experiencing It?

6 Signs of a Spiritual Crisis or Emergency: Are You Experiencing It?

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

May 21st, 2020

 

Almost any experience can contribute to spiritual awakening. Observing nature might kickstart thoughts of the expansive universe, for example. The kindness, or harshness, in others might bring about thoughts of our purpose on this Earth. These are common and healthy steps we take on a journey to spiritual awakening. This tends to progress slowly and with a sense of calm about it. Sometimes, however, this awakening comes on suddenly and becomes all-consuming. This is called a Spiritual Crisis, or Spiritual Emergency.
A spiritual crisis is a period of rapid transformation often brought on by a particular trigger or trauma. During this time, you might feel like you’re “going crazy” or “falling apart” because your sense of reality shifts entirely.
It is an intense and life-altering experience that will ultimately lead to a total spiritual awakening and enlightenment.

What Is a Spiritual Crisis?

A spiritual crisis is a form of an identity crisis. This sudden change in perception is typically triggered by a spiritual experience. This could be a near-death experience, a paranormal encounter, or a sudden epiphany. It is also possible for this state of spiritual emergency to be brought on overtime, usually due to on-going trauma. When the experience becomes too much, a spiritual crisis could be triggered.
The term was first introduced by husband and wife team Christina Grof, a psychotherapist, and her husband Stanislav Grof, a psychiatrist, in 1989. Spiritual Emergencies come under the umbrella of Transpersonal Psychology and have been fascinating psychologists for years.
A spiritual crisis tends to be defined by a total loss of belief in, or connection to, previously held values and ideas. A person in the midst of a spiritual crisis may no longer understand the beliefs they used to hold or no longer feel they mean anything of value.
Often, spiritual emergencies can be incorrectly diagnosed as a nervous breakdown as they both feature a loosening of the grip on reality.

6 Signs of a Spiritual Crisis or Emergency

1. Spiritual Experiences

Whether these experiences can be proven or not, many people going through a spiritual emergency report having spiritual experiences. Spiritual experiences come in many forms and are different for everyone.
Some people have seen spirits, others report visions and hearing voices. During a Spiritual Crisis, it’s thought that the lines that separate the spiritual and material worlds become blurred for that person. This can lead to a heightened ability to sense energies and have stronger abilities as an empath.
These experiences can be understandably unsettling for anyone going through a spiritual crisis. Even more unnerving is that some of the spiritual experiences you might have may have relevance to past trauma and repressed memories.

2. Your Senses Are in Flux

A spiritual emergency is all-consuming and it may feel as though your senses are being overwhelmed. You might become extremely sensitive to all kinds of stimuli, including emotional ones. Light can feel too bright and noises could be too loud. Your sense of taste and smell might even be affected, resulting in new likes and dislikes.
Your whole body could be affected during a spiritual crisis, causing odd bodily sensations like hot and cold flashes, shaking, and tingling. Transpersonal psychologists believe this is energy flowing throughout the body as you begin to awaken.
On the other hand, it is possible for your senses to become weaker during a spiritual crisis. You may take in much less than you normally would. It may result in you feeling disconnected from the rest of the world. This might feel like dissociation or brain fog.

3. Impaired Thinking

When your mind becomes completely clouded, it can become difficult to process thoughts. You might have too many thoughts running through your brain, making it hard to address any of them at all. Your mind could also feel completely empty as if there are so many thoughts that you can’t find any of them.
During a spiritual crisis, time and physical space might seem distorted. Recent events might feel years ago, and long-lost memories might feel as if they’ve just happened.
Your decision-making abilities will likely be impaired too. The overwhelming nature of your thoughts can make the smallest decision feel like the most important moment. Similarly, it can be difficult to remember things when your brain is already overflowing with thoughts and information.
When your thinking is impaired during a spiritual emergency, daily life can start to feel scary. Feeling unable to process what’s going on around you can be unnerving and disorienting.

4. Loss of a Sense of Self

When a spiritual emergency takes over your mind, your sense of self goes out of the window. As your awakening begins and you start to transform into someone new, your connection to your previous self fades. This is not always a bad thing. A shift in identity might be exactly what you need.
During a spiritual crisis, a person might quit their job now they feel it no longer serves them. They might also move away, hoping to start fresh somewhere that suits their needs better. There may be negative side-effects to this loss of identity.
Some people might feel they now have no idea what the future holds or what their purpose in life is. You might also reconsider your dreams and desires, meaning you no longer know what you want from life. A life without goals and purpose can feel impossible to navigate.

5. Loss of Inhibitions

When your sense of reality falls away, the need for rules and order falls away with it. If you no longer feel life serves a purpose, why bother behaving? People experiencing a spiritual crisis might start behaving recklessly, doing dangerous activities, or things that would have previously gone against their morals.
This tends to simply be a way of expressing themselves when the world feels confusing to them or a way of finding meaning in a life they no longer understand.

6. Withdrawal from Life

A person going through a spiritual emergency is likely to be overwhelmed with concern and confusion. The sudden change in perception of the world is difficult to process and typically wants to be done alone.
It can be difficult to explain what you’re experiencing in this time, for fear of judgment or a simple lack of words. It often feels like the easiest way to handle this is to withdraw from the life you once lived, including old friends and family.
On the other hand, a spiritual crisis leading to an awakening might inspire some to intentionally withdraw from their old life in order to achieve a new, fresher life.
A spiritual emergency might feel frightening, but it is a worthwhile time of transformation. If you’re experiencing it, hang in there. You can consult with many transpersonal psychologists if you need, or just confide in friends. As you ride the waves of this spiritual crisis, you might find it leads you to a more open, fulfilling, and beautiful space than ever before.
References:
  1. https://en.wikipedia.org
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com
 
 
 
 

 

Becky Storey
 

 



 

About the Author: Becky Storey
 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

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Terça-feira, 19 / 05 / 20

5 Ugly Truths about Life That Will Make You a Better Person

 

5 Ugly Truths about Life That Will Make You a Better Person

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted May 19th, 2020.

 
 
 
It isn’t always easy to become a higher version of yourself. There are ugly truths that must be faced in order to change for the better.
I’m not here to say you are a bad person. I cannot make that judgment. But the truth remains, there is always room for improvement, and you can see it in what you’re not doing.For instance, take a moment and write down a few positive actions you’re taking. Don’t write down your qualities, no, think about what you’ve actually done that’s brought about a positive outcome or helped someone. Ugly truths say that list may be short. It may be hard to think of any positive actions you’ve taken lately, even though you do mean well.
I can attest to this myself. I talk about all the things I want to do to help someone, but I only accomplish around a fraction of those things. To be a better person in life, I have to glance into the ugly face of truth for myself. There are many things I can do in order to become the person I want to be. It is hard sometimes to face up to this.
There are a few examples of ugly truths, in case you’re wondering what’s holding you back. Take a look.

Ugly truths that bring good outcomes

1. The world only wants what you can provide

No matter how good of a person you think you are, the world only cares how much you can provide with the skills you possess. Do you think the world thinks about your charming personality or your empathetic nature?
I’m sorry, but to the world, these things are just pretty icing on a cake that may or may not taste good to them. What the world wants is someone who can make money, build things, produce things, and provide any demand it throws out.
So, to be a better person, you must accept this truth. It may be a mean spirited attitude that the world has, but it’s the ugly truth, that the worlds wants. When you accept this raw honesty, what happens is you learn to love yourself despite what the world wants. You can choose to provide however you wish, and understand that this is what the world likes, but you can also appreciate who you are, and this makes you better for it.

2. People will let you down

Do you remember telling your best friend that secret and how they promised to never tell anyone? Yeah, they told someone, maybe even a few people. A good friend once told me that when you tell one person a secret, at least one other person will know, and so on. The ugly truth is, it is almost impossible to have a friend who doesn’t spill the beans occasionally, and at least to one individual.
And that’s not all, people will disappoint you in other ways too. If you think you will get into a relationship and it will be perfect, you are delusional. It will be bad at times, maybe many times. Your employer will not be perfect, your family will not be perfect. People are imperfect and they cannot do the right thing 100% of the time. So, get used to it.

3. What’s worthwhile requires hard work

You will never be able to have something truly special or productive if you don’t work really hard. I know this is not what you want to hear, but it’s the hard truth. You know those laid-back people who believe in “taking it easy”, yeah, they usually don’t fulfill great goals in their lives. I promise, just watch them for a while and see for yourself.
If you want to stand out and get a promotion, for instance, you must work your butt off and do so in such a way that you get noticed as a highly productive employee. If you work a little, you will reap only a small reward. If you stay busy and productive, you can fulfill great dreams.

4. Perfect happiness doesn’t exist

If you think some particular thing is all you need to be perfectly happy, you are wrong. There is nothing in the world that can make you happy to the point where you will have no other troubles.
True happiness is within, and I am sure you’ve heard this before. Now, this is true, but, this true happiness from within will also never be perfect. Life is not perfect, we are not either, and the ugly truth is… happiness is fleeting. However, there is nothing wrong with pursuing it anyway. Just always be aware that it doesn’t last forever.

5. You will die

Did you know that for the most part, we ignore the fact that we’re going to die? It might not be tomorrow, next month, or even next year. In fact, we may live a hundred years. But, the fact remains, we will die.
This is an ugly truth that should have you organizing your priorities and getting the most out of each and every day. But since we ignore, deny, or just turn our face away from death, we get lazy and we procrastinate. Yes, I guess I’m preaching doom and gloom here, but to be honest, you will, someday, somehow… die. So, face it and be better for it too.

The ugliness of truth will help you

Thinking that life is a fairy tale may be fun in the short term, but it will make you waste away in the long run. If we face things in truth, we can find ways to better use our time, hopefully, wisely.
I cannot brag about this at all. I think sometimes I am terrible at facing the truth and its ugliness, and I watch hours of television or scroll mindlessly on the computer. Is this a pattern you recognize in yourself.
I urge you, as a fellow procrastinator, to join me in facing the ugly truths of life. It will hurt, but just think of how worthwhile your life will be when you stop denying what’s really happening. We can do this.
I have faith in you. 

 Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:
 

 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.


 

 Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 
 
 
 
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Sexta-feira, 15 / 05 / 20

How the Law of Reciprocity Works and Practical Ways to Use It

How the Law of Reciprocity Works and Practical Ways to Use It

Jamie Logie, B. Sc.

learning-mind.com

May 15th, 2020 .

 

 

The law of reciprocity is all about an action being rewarded with another action in return. But how does this all work exactly, and how do you best use it to benefit your life and the lives of others?
This law is all about spreading to good between us all, and it’s something that more people need to practice. This article will look at how the law of reciprocity works, and some practical ways that you can use it.

What Is the Law of Reciprocity?

The simplest way to look at the law of reciprocity is that you should do unto others as you would have them do unto you. The problem is, this sometimes can take on an ugly form with people only making gestures to get something in return.
This is often used by salespeople who generally have no interest in your betterment and are only out for themselves. They will often give out something for free so the other person feels an obligation to return the favor, which is based around buying a specific product.
We want to ignore this particular aspect that is more about persuasion than it is reciprocity. Instead, we want to focus on reciprocity to spread more joy, support, and caring among one another. This is a law that will usually trigger a positive reaction in another person. When you do even the simplest, kindest gesture, it generally triggers the desire in the person to act similarly.
Reciprocity is about the sense of obligation to return the favor. That may sound like a burden, but we are talking about small, intimate gestures that go a long way in helping us all feel better about ourselves. The act of giving goes a long way in instilling a positive impression in the mind of the other person. And that’s what this is all about; creating as many positive experiences as we possibly can.

What Are Some Ways We Use the Law of Reciprocity Every Day?

You are probably using this law every day, and not even realizing it. A basic example is the idea of a simple smile. When we smile at someone, the other person will usually smile back. Your action is you giving the smile, and the reaction is them returning the smile to you. This is one of the most practical, simple, but still effective ways to practice the law of reciprocity.
We do not understand what other people are going through, and even though they walk around carrying a brave face, they could be suffering on the inside. It’s incredibly powerful what the simple act of a smile can do to another human being and – even for just a moment – it will lift their spirits. That act is returned to you, also causing you a boost in endorphins and a sense of happiness.
This is, of course, the most basic example of this law – but you can see how powerful it really is. Now, you want to continue to put this law into practice as much as possible. What are some other practical ways to use the law of reciprocity?

1. Creating a More Harmonious Home Environment

If things are a bit chaotic in your home, it may seem easier to blow your top than to deal with disastrous situations. Say that you come from work only to discover a mess all around the house. You’re trying to remain calm, but then one of your kids comes running through and knocks a dish off the table, causing it to break. Your child is in near hysterics, and this could end in a total breakdown for everyone, or you could use the law of reciprocity.
It’s not always easy, but in this situation, it would involve not losing your temper and instead, comforting and hugging your child. This would not be the reaction they were expecting while also expecting to be forced to clean it up. Tell your child to go and do something else while you clean it up. It’s not unlikely to find a child resorting to a more peaceful and apologetic situation as they’ve seen the gentle approach you’ve taken and are responding in kind.
By yelling and punishing, you would probably get a similar response. By taking a gentler approach, you allow for inner peace to be created instead of a harsh situation. This is not the easiest thing, but if we do this on a daily level, you will get more positive reactions instead of strife, fear, and anguish.

2. Repay Things as Soon as You Can

This isn’t specifically related to money, but it still applies. One of the most practical ways you can use reciprocity is by returning favors and gestures as soon as you can – even if it’s something small. When you don’t, people can often think you are taking advantage, and that’s the opposite intentions we should go for.
With close friends and family, you may have a little more leeway in the length of time you take to pay someone back because there is a closer intimacy. With people like coworkers or associates, you’ll want to repay them as soon as possible for the reciprocity to work its best.

3. Helping Out A Stranger

We’ve discussed reciprocity with people we are in close contact with, but what does this look like in the outside world with people you don’t know? It’s all about creating the best environment you can in whatever situation you find yourself in. And this can be as simple as holding a door open for a stranger. If it’s an entrance with more than one door, you can be pretty certain they will make sure to hold the next door open for you.
Again, these are small gestures, but reciprocity working like this creates a better sense of community and connection between the people living in it.

Final Thoughts

We all want to live in the most supportive and encouraging society possible. This isn’t always going to be possible, but by practicing the law of reciprocity, we can create the closest semblance to an ideal living situation.
Reciprocity all comes down to being the change you wish to see in the world. If you want joy, kindness, and compassion, it starts with giving it to others. When you do this, you allow it to find its way back to you.
References:
  1. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/
 

About the Author: Jamie Logie, B.Sc.

Jamie Logie is a certified personal trainer, nutritionist, and health & wellness specialist. He holds a bachelor of science (B.Sc.) degree in Kinesiology from the University of Western Ontario, studied sociology and psychology at Western University and has a counseling diploma from Heritage Baptist College. He has run a blog and top-rated podcast on iTunes called "Regained Wellness". Jamie is also a contributing writer for places like the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, LifeHack and has an Amazon #1 book called "Taking Back Your Health".

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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

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Quarta-feira, 13 / 05 / 20

How to Put Yourself First and 5 Situations When It’s Necessary.

How to Put Yourself First and 5 Situations When It’s Necessary.

Lauren Edwards-Fowle,

M.Sc. and B.Sc.

learning-mind.com

Posted May 13th, 2020.

 
 

 

Learning how to put yourself first sounds easier than it is. Our culture tends to reward selflessness, and most of us feel guilty about prioritizing our own needs over those of other people.
However, never looking out for yourself is a fast-track path to burnout. Let’s take a look at little ways you can adjust your thinking to look after number one, and those situations where it is necessary.

How to Put Yourself First?

With so many pressures and responsibilities in our busy modern lives, here are some simple ways to ensure your self-care doesn’t sit on the back burner:

1. Take Time to Connect With Yourself

It is all too easy to rush headlong into every day and forget to take a moment to stop and think. If you are a people pleaser, you probably automatically agree to whatever is asked of you, without considering whether it is detrimental to you.
Being mindful is all about being in the moment, and taking stock of how you feel both physically and mentally. If you are serious about your long-term health, it is vital to decide when you have reached your limits, and be able to identify when you are not feeling at your best.
Should you be asked to help out at an event, pick up an extra shift, or do a ‘quick’ favor for a friend, take a moment before you say yes. If you are feeling tired, run-down, or experiencing a few aches and pains, it might be time to say no.

2. Manage Your Own Time

Our time is our own, but sometimes we forget that WE control what we do with each day. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to – within reason – and acknowledging the value of your time is important to be able to put yourself first.
Map out your plans for the day, and prioritize those things that hold great value for you. Don’t be tempted to cross out the long hot bath you have been looking forward to, or postpone your hair appointment till next week because other last-minute tasks crop up.
Taking care of yourself puts you in a better position to give time, energy, and support when it is needed. Make sure that you place as much value on allocating time to your own needs, as you do on using it to carry out duties for other people.

3. Say No and Mean It

We all want to say yes – yes, we can help; yes, we are here for you; yes, I can do that for you. It becomes a habit, whereby we are the fall-back for every friend and colleague who needs a helping hand.
It is great to be able to offer people your support and to be regarded as the kind of person who is willing and able to help out when they are needed. However, if you always say yes, you establish a pattern of behavior that becomes hard to break away from. If you don’t have the time, then say so! If you don’t feel comfortable with something that is being asked of you, allow yourself to say no!
You don’t need to say yes every time to be a good friend, and maintaining the importance of your boundaries will mean that when you do say yes, you mean it.

When Is It Necessary to Put Yourself First?

There are some situations where it is less about boundaries, and more about the vital need to look after your needs.

1. When you are feeling run down

If you are tired, burning out, or feeling the stress mounting up, now is the time you need to stop looking out for others and start concentrating on yourself. Stress causes no end of physical and mental health issues and ignoring it will not solve the problem.

2. When you feel taken for granted

Being helpful feels great, but if you feel that your kindness is being manipulated or your efforts are taken as a given, you need to put up your boundaries. Feeling unappreciated could make you resentful of those times when you do help out, and damage your relationships in the long run.

3. When you are experiencing aches and pains

Our bodies will always let us know when it is time to slow down. Little niggles are easy to ignore, but they could be a symptom of a potentially more serious problem. Slow down, give yourself time to recuperate, and you will be fighting fit next time your help is needed.

4. When you aren’t setting the example you would like to

Albert Schweitzer said that ‘example is not the main thing influencing others, it is the only thing’. If you feel that you are constantly rushing around and not taking any time for yourself, your children will see this as the norm. Teaching our kids about self-care is important for their development, so if you don’t feel like you are showing them the value of putting themselves first, perhaps take a step back – and explain to them why.

5. When you are neglecting your relationships

If your spouse, partner, or family are starting to feel ignored, it is time to evaluate how you allocate your time and make sure that you take care of your relationships with those closest to you before you consider anything else. Your closest family matter more to you than any other commitment, so if they are feeling left out of your busy schedule, decide to prioritize with your own needs in mind.
We have all heard the phrase ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’, and it remains true. Putting yourself first is not selfish; it is essential self-care to make sure that you meet your own needs and keep your health in check before committing to anything else that takes away from it.
Spending a little time on self-care along with knowing when you need to put yourself first makes you a healthier, happier person – and all the more capable of being a great friend, partner, and colleague when you are needed.

 

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 
 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 


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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

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Segunda-feira, 11 / 05 / 20

9 Signs of a Sense of Entitlement You May Not Know You Have

 

9 Signs of a Sense of Entitlement You May Not Know You Have

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted May 3rd, 2020.

 
 
 
Could it be that you are not as humble and satisfied as you think? The truth is you could be harboring a sense of entitlement.
I’d like to think that I’m a balanced human being, despite the fact that I struggle with many forms of mental illness. Do I have a sense of entitlement? Honestly, I’m sure I display it from time to time. It could be that I don’t even recognize many of these symptoms. This entitlement is closely related to the unhealthy aspects of narcissism. It more or less rates on the egotistical side of the narcissistic spectrum.
Yes, feeling entitled is hard to recognize because of this correlation, and can mask its true identity underneath feelings of humility. There is also no age preference for this feeling either. You can feel entitled as a young adult, and you can feel just as entitled at the ripe old age of 75. In case you don’t understand what feeling entitled means, here’s one definition:
In psychology, a sense of entitlement is a personality trait that makes someone feel as though they deserve more than what society gives them. These are sometimes unrealistic and unmerited demands for better living conditions or treatment.

9 Signs That You Have a Sense of Entitlement

In case you’re wondering if this is you, if you have a sense of entitlement, then there are signs that throw up red flags. A red flag is a warning of something, and it’s usually pretty spot on. So here are a few indicators that you may have fit into this entitled group.

1. Superiority

While at face value, you might not think you feel superior, there could be a bit of “better than the rest” mentality dwelling between your ears. I’ve noticed this in myself at times, and it’s usually after someone has pointed it out and I’ve gotten angry. My anger revealed my guilt, you see. Feeling superior to others is easier than you think, and so you must always be aware of this trait. This is one facet of entitlement.

2. Unrealistic expectations

You may often feel like someone owes you things, or you feel cheated. This is considered unrealistic expectations from others. This is a sign that you believe you deserve more than you do. Most of the time, this feeling comes from past mistreatments in relationships or by neglect from your parents. It could even come from being let down by your best friend or fired from a job where you were previously praised.
Your sense of right and wrong can quickly get crossed and damage your trust…thus, creating this unrealistic demand mentality. This sign is noticed when you start feeling like nothing will ever go the way it should.

3. Self-pity

Yes, people are unfair, and they can hurt you for no real reason at all. Self-pity can start from here, right where an unwarranted wound happened. The right thing to do in these situations is to take the hurt and learn from it, growing into a stronger person. But if the wound is not tended to, self-pity will grow, then it will mature into a ridiculous sense of worth.
I’ve done this myself before. Once, I was hurt so badly that I expected everyone else to recognize the hurt and feel sorry for me. It didn’t work out the way I thought it would, and eventually, someone told me to grow up. It was harsh, but they were right to let me know.

4. Bullying

Those who feel entitled are prone to bullying others. It starts with low self-esteem, which then causes you to lash out at others to bring down their self-worth. The objective is to vault yourself above others by using them as your stepping-stones.
But you must keep in mind, those you step on will experience the same low feelings, and if they aren’t strong enough, they will also bullying others. You’re not just responsible then for bullying people, but you can potentially start a negative pattern that could ruin many lives due to self-entitlement. So, if you sense you are being a bully, you are guilty of a worse mentality than just being mean.

5. Double standards

Another sign that you may have a sense of entitlement is that you use double standards in life. For instance, it might not be okay for your adult son to get drunk, but you think it’s okay to do the same thing when he’s not around. It might be okay for you to leave your clothes lying around, and yet you yell at your husband for leaving his things out all the time.
Do you see the pattern? Living like this is pretty obvious to others, so keep in mind that they know you are unfair, and basically, a hypocrite. Maybe you should check for entitled standards you’ve made for yourself.

6. No compromise

Did you know that effective communication means compromise? Especially, if you are in an argument. If you feel like someone owes you something in life, you will hate compromise. I’m not sure, but I have set standards and morals, and sometimes, I hold them so tight that I refuse to compromise with others.
Now, I’m not saying that your standards or morals aren’t important because they are. What I am saying is that somewhere, somehow, you will have to compromise with people you care about. Otherwise, they might not stick around for long. So, if you aren’t even willing to compromise at all, then you have a problem, and no, it’s not the other guy. It’s you!

7. Attention, Praise, and admiration

If you feel you are above the rest, you will crave the spotlight. There is never enough attention for you. You always fish for compliments and post everything you purchase on social media, which makes you struggle all the time just to hold onto the same level of admiration from the day before.
In your eyes, others owe you all the love and comfort now because you’ve done your share of good deeds.  For every negative thing that you endured from the past, there’s certain retribution and, what’s worse is all the attention in the world is never enough.

8. Using punishments

Another sign that you could have a “surprise” sense of entitlement is that you use punishments. I don’t mean you punish your children for disobedience, as some do. I mean you punish other adults for not giving you exactly what you want.
Here’s an example: Say your best friend doesn’t come to visit as much as you think she should and you get angry. Well, you decide she deserves to be punished, and so you stop answering her calls or texts. When your best friend does come to see you, an attitude greets her at the door.
While this might seem like nothing to some people, it’s actually a negative reaction driven by the need for entitlement. You feel entitled to her attention and love. While in truth, you are both equal and deserve the same amount of respect. Non-toxic actions are when you give your friend the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she doesn’t come because she could be too busy to come to visit.

9. Everyone is a threat or competition

Remember, a sense of entitlement means no one is your equal, right? Well, this means that everyone is either a threat to your wellbeing, or they are a competition that you must constantly keep an eye on. Even your closest friends aren’t allowed to go through this veil of doubt and mistrust. You keep them close, but far enough so they have little access to how you really feel about them.
Entitlement means jealousy, hatred, and gossip. All these things come with insecurities and the dislike of others.

Are You Secretly Struggling with a Sense of Entitlement?

Sometimes the things you do that seem normal could, in fact, be a bit toxic. I had to learn this the hard way after hurting people or being told that I was acting entitled. But this is no witch hunt, no.
Every person on the face of the earth is imperfect. We all have skeletons in our closets, crosses to bear, and quirks that we cannot even see. When we cannot see these things, we perceive our lives as fair and good. The objective is, however, that we learn more and more every day about how to be better people. We analyze ourselves, check on how we treat others, and just strive to be good at every opportunity.
If we want a better world, guess what? It starts first with our own changes. We have to see our sense of entitlement for what it is and change a little at a time. Why should we change slowly? Well, because it’s not fair to be too hard on ourselves, any more than it’s okay to be hard on others. I want you to remember that. So, take your time and be honest with yourself. This is the only way to make those permanent improvements.
I believe in you, and that’s because I’m imperfect too…and I do believe I can do better as well.
References:
  1. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
  2. https://www.betterhelp.com

 Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 


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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.


 

 Discernment is recommended.
 

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Domingo, 10 / 05 / 20

6 Traits of Resilient People You Can Cultivate

6 Traits of Resilient People You Can Cultivate

Jamie Logie, B. Sc.

learning-mind.com

May 9th, 2020 .

 

 
 
What is it about resilient people that makes them able to handle any adversity? What can we learn from them to become resilient ourselves?
 
Some may say that the key to success in life is the ability to be resilient. There are many other great attributes that make up a well-rounded person, but resiliency may surpass them all. Life throws so much at us and the resilient person can take it in stride and not crumble under the pressure and setback.

This article will look at what traits resilient people have and how you can cultivate them to enhance your own life.

What Does True Resilience Look Like?

It’s hard not to look at the future in a positive mindset. There is no harm in doing this, but the problem is that you can expect all your ideas to come to fruition. In a perfect world, everything would go smoothly all the time. But we all know this is not the case. We hope and dream for a multitude of blessings and fortune – but we don’t anticipate the negatives in quite the same way.

When the challenges of life hit, some of us are better equipped to handle them than others. Resilient people can swim instead of sink, bend instead of break, and persevere instead of crumble. The best way to look at what true resilience is is to recognize it as inner strength. It’s the ability to bounce back from life’s inevitable disappointments, failures, and pains.
A good way to look at this is like the shock absorbers on a car. If you were to ride in a car without shock absorbers, you would feel all the bumps and holes as you drive. Every ride would be a miserable experience. Resilience is like putting shock absorbers on a car to help absorb and create a more comfortable ride.
 

The good news is that this inner strength can be learned – just like any other skill. It takes some practice – but it is achievable, and that means looking at the traits of resilient people. This way, we may be able to cultivate them to create our own inner strength.
So what are some of these traits that you should look to replicate in your own life?

Let’s look at 6 traits of resilient people:

1. Resilient People Recognize That They Can’t Change Things

There are many small things that are completely in our control; you can enjoy your favorite entertainment, choose who you spend your time with, or pursue your favorite hobbies. This can add to your life tremendously, but what about the big things that are out of your control?
This is one of the biggest traits of resilient people. They understand that a large majority of the things that happen in their life they have no control over. They don’t ignore the hardships and setbacks but realize they are happening out of their control.
This allows for a sense of peace and the ability to deal with them sooner. The person who blames the situation and tries to control it is only in for frustration, anxiety, and hopelessness. The longer they spend time thinking they can change things out of their control, the longer it takes to finally move past it.
The resilient person can recognize what is out of their hands, not spend long dwelling on it, and not allow it to defeat them. Accepting that you cannot control everything is actually a way to take control of your life.

2. Resilient People Are Not Fragile

Fragility may be the opposite of resiliency. Fragility means that everything upsets you. From big world events, down to small trivial matters, everything can upset and derail you. With so many things upsetting you, you end up spending a lot of your time feeling angry, hurt, and pessimistic.
Resilient people can combat this fragility. This is not to mean they aren’t sensitive, or experience negative emotions, it just means they can combat them. They are more able to acknowledge things that may upset them but not allow them to take them down.
It’s important to point out that any huge life-crushing situation will set back any individual – no matter how resilient. What we’re talking about here when we refer to fragility are the day-to-day issues that can upset you and prevent you from happiness. Resilient people recognize the things that upset them, but that’s as far as they let it go.

3. They Have a Good Perspective

Change Your Opinion about Yourself
People who are resilient can step back and assess their situation with as much objectivity as they can. They can investigate the situation and ask questions like:
  • “How bad is this problem?”
  • “Have I overstated it?”
  • “Am I giving this situation an unnecessary amount of attention?”
Resilient people can see their own lives from the perspective of others. Often, we become so self-absorbed that we can’t see the situation for what it truly is. When the smallest thing feels like the end of the world, it’s important to take a step back and try to look at it from an outsider. It’s easy to do this when you’re analyzing another person and you need to do this with yourself in order to build resiliency.

4. A Person Who Is Resilient Asks This One Big Question:

It’s a simple approach, but asking yourself, “What’s the worse that can happen?” is a very powerful thing. In most cases, the worst thing that could happen isn’t really that bad. Most of the time, it’s not even that likely to happen. A good quote to sum this up is:
“Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday”
Things seem their worst because of anticipation. When you end up getting to those real scenarios, they often aren’t as bad as how you built it up in your mind. And, again, not even likely to happen in the first place.

5. Resilient People Keep Good Company

We often hear that we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. Resilient people make sure that the people they spend their time with only add to their life. If you’re surrounded by negative and pessimistic people, this will rub off on you.
To become more resilient, it may mean eliminating certain people from your life or spending less time with others. Resilience can be infectious, and the best way to adopt this is to be around others from whom you can cultivate it.

6. They Take Care Of Themselves

This may seem obvious, but it is often overlooked. Resilient people know that they have boundaries and limitations. They don’t allow themselves to push it too far, and they know when enough is enough, and they practice various forms of self-care.
Resilient people do everything they can to be at their best. This means adhering to things like exercise and proper nutrition. They get adequate sleep and don’t try to burn the candle at both ends. Choosing to live this way will only cause you to burn out, which is the opposite intention we should strive for.
You can’t be resilient if you are exhausted, weak, and not properly nourished. So start to get those things in order and they will naturally help to build up your inner strength. Self-care helps build resiliency as it requires discipline and dedication, both of which build that inner strength.

Final Thoughts

In the same way you couldn’t run a marathon without training, you can’t build resiliency overnight. The first step is to recognize the traits of resilient people and look to copy them. By observing some of their traits like the ability to keep a good perspective, ask the right questions, and combat fragility, you can become resilient in your own way.
This is a skill that takes some inward analysis, and maybe a bit of struggle to achieve it. But this is all part of the journey that resilient people find themselves on, and you can too.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/
  2. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/
  3. https://www.apa.org/

About the Author: Jamie Logie, B.Sc.

Jamie Logie is a certified personal trainer, nutritionist, and health & wellness specialist. He holds a bachelor of science (B.Sc.) degree in Kinesiology from the University of Western Ontario, studied sociology and psychology at Western University and has a counseling diploma from Heritage Baptist College. He has run a blog and top-rated podcast on iTunes called "Regained Wellness". Jamie is also a contributing writer for places like the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, LifeHack and has an Amazon #1 book called "Taking Back Your Health".

 COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 


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Alternative to Google

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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

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Terça-feira, 05 / 05 / 20

3 Ways a Negative Mindset Is Ruining Your Life and How to Beat It

3 Ways a Negative Mindset Is Ruining Your Life and How to Beat It

Jamie Logie, B. Sc.

learning-mind.com

May 5th, 2020 .

 

 

It’s hard to not get into a negative mindset from time to time, but if this is always the case, it can severely hold you back in life.
As much as we would always love to be positive and upbeat, the truth is that this is not realistic. Tough times will happen, but that’s just the natural course of life. Without tough times, you would never appreciate the good, so it’s natural you will go through periods with a negative mindset. The problem arises when that mindset becomes constant as it will ruin your life.
The good news is, you can beat it. This article will look at the issues caused by a negative mindset, but how it doesn’t have to rule over you.

What Causes a Negative Mindset?

This seems like a simple question, but it goes a lot deeper. A mindset that is based on negativity can come from things that happened as a child, fear, worry, or other trauma. Some people are more prone to a pessimistic outlook on life, so a negative mindset tends to be their default mode. This doesn’t mean they can’t beat it though.
One of the biggest causes of a negative mindset is fear. Negativity is just fear in disguise and there are always things to be fearful about. If you fear and worry about the state of the world, your job, finances, or health, you become overwhelmed with it and this then turns into negativity.

These constant negative thoughts can slowly start to ruin your life. Here are a few ways it does this:

1. Your Stress Hormones Go Through The Roof

A little stress is ok as this is your fight-or-flight mechanism in action. This is caused by stress hormones such as cortisol and this is important if you need to jump out of the way of a speeding car. But a constant release of stress hormones over time becomes very damaging. Here are some issues elevated stress hormones can cause:
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Digestive problems
  • Insomnia
  • Weight gain
  • Cognitive problems
  • Heart disease
  • High blood pressure
  • Heart attacks
This is just a small sampling as the list goes on for quite a bit. You can see how damaging this constant state of stress is on the body. The big issue here is that it doesn’t matter if that stress is real or perceived – the body still responds the same way. Constant cortisol release is happening from a negative mindset and putting your health at serious risk.

2. You Don’t Get To Appreciate The Good Things In Life

The more you focus on the negative situations in life, the more you ignore anything good happening to you. It can be easy to focus on what’s going wrong in life, but this prevents you from experiencing joy. It’s easy to slip into this way of thinking, but it is only robbing you from finding genuine happiness. In the same way, we can always find something to complain about, you can also find something to appreciate.

3. You Aren’t Able To Connect With Other People As Well

You’ve probably noticed that it’s not the most fun thing to be around someone with an overly negative mindset. If this mindset is occurring in you, it will push away those closest to you.
This also comes down to the simple issue of brain chemistry and the cortisol issue. Besides controlling fight-or-flight responses, cortisol has the effect of shutting down some of the higher cognitive parts of the brain. The parts it impacts are the ones important for how we interact and connect with others. These areas of the brain are involved with empathy, compassion, and forgiveness.
So a negative mindset is physically impacting your ability to love and care for other people. It doesn’t get much worse than that.

How Do You Beat a Negative Mindset?

The big thing all this boils down to – and a more helpful way to look at negativity – is that it is a habit. More often than not, a negative mindset doesn’t happen from very complex things or events. Small little issues can be enough to get you into this bad headspace and when you constantly think in this way, it becomes a habit.
They say it takes 21 days to create a habit, so think what years and years of negative thinking have done to cement it as a normal mindset. But we can break any bad habit. Here are a few ways:

1. Start Using A Journal

This is an easy way to jot down any positive things that are happening. It doesn’t matter how small they are; it helps to make a note of them. If you can get in the habit of writing down things you appreciate – even as simple as seeing the sun shining – it helps to train your mind to look for the positives in life.

2. Remember Positive Situations

This has to do with the breaking of a habit. Any time you catch yourself in a mindset that is negative, steer the thoughts to moments where you felt peaceful, calm, happy, and assured. This can take work, but eventually, this can help to beat that negative mindset.

3. Start To Question The Thoughts

Your brain and mind are two different things. Your mind is easily influenced and shaped by outside forces, whether they are negative or positive. When negative thoughts creep in, start to question them.
Look at negative thoughts like spam email. You wouldn’t take a spam email seriously, you just delete it. You need to do the same thing with negative thoughts and ask, “Should I take this seriously?” And think of it as spam from outside coming in to only cause damage.

Final Thoughts

It’s so easy to get into a negative mindset, and it’s nothing to feel bad about. A lot of the things we expose ourselves to are there to make us feel bad. The trick is choosing what you allow into your mind, and what can influence you. This means you might need to turn off the news or avoid people who only bring you down. But as we mentioned, a negative mindset is nothing but a habit, and any habit can be broken.
Stay strong, you can do this.
References:
  1. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/

About the Author: Jamie Logie, B.Sc.

Jamie Logie is a certified personal trainer, nutritionist, and health & wellness specialist. He holds a bachelor of science (B.Sc.) degree in Kinesiology from the University of Western Ontario, studied sociology and psychology at Western University and has a counseling diploma from Heritage Baptist College. He has run a blog and top-rated podcast on iTunes called "Regained Wellness". Jamie is also a contributing writer for places like the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, LifeHack and has an Amazon #1 book called "Taking Back Your Health".

 COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 
Main Site:
violetflame.biz.ly
Alternative to Google

 Alternatives to YouTube
 

 
 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 
 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 22:32
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Terça-feira, 05 / 05 / 20

Why Intellectual Humility Is Important and How to Develop It

Why Intellectual Humility Is Important and How to Develop It

Lottie Miles, M.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted May 5th, 2020.

 
intellectual humility.

 


We are all inclined to believe we know and understand more than we know. However, as the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates was well aware, what we think we know is not really knowledge at all. We may well want to cling stubbornly to our beliefs and believe we are more correct than others. But people who practice intellectual humility are better listeners, learners, and more self-aware. So what is intellectual humility and how can it be developed?
In this post, we will explore what it means to be intellectually humble, why intellectual humility is important, and how to develop it.
What is intellectual humility?
Intellectual humility means recognizing that the things you believe dearly could actually be wrong. Unlike general humility, it is not centered on having a low view of one’s own importance or a lack of confidence. Rather, it is a way of thinking.
At its heart, it incorporates accepting the possibility that what you think might be wrong. In addition, to be intellectually humble, you must be keen to learn from the experiences of others.
Intellectual humility demands for you to think about your own limits. This trait is classically important in the ideal application of the scientific method. Here, you are expected to actively test against one’s own hypothesis in order to ensure it is robust. In recent years, the concept has received growing attention amongst social psychologists with the loss-of-confidence project. This project aims to de-stigmatize admitting a loss of confidence in your own research results.

Why is intellectual humility important?

So why is it important to be able to admit we could be wrong about what we think? Well, for one thing, it will make us less defensive when challenged about our beliefs. This approach also forces us to think about our blind spots, opening up new lines of inquiry we may not have seen before.
Porter & Schumann’s study found that intellectually humble people are better at listening to opposing views. This makes them more likely to seek out information challenging to their own world-view and question evidence more carefully. Kross’s study confirmed this, finding the intellectually humble were more likely to be wise.
Intellectual humility is important because it demonstrates the promotion of arrogance and overconfidence prevalent in our society is foolish. When we recognize we could be wrong, we listen more to others. We can learn more from those we might have instinctively disagreed with offering benefits for scientific robustness.
We can also learn more than we thought possible with an un-fixed approach to knowledge. Indeed, being intellectually humble can enhance our drive to succeed and openness to new ideas. It frees us from a focus on our potential to be wrong necessarily being bad. Being wrong is inevitable! Breakthroughs in knowledge are only possible when we see things differently than we saw them before.

How can you develop intellectual humility?

If our ignorance is invisible to us, then how can we become aware of it? The author Shane Snow, devised an intellectual humility test to measure where you stand on 4 key areas of importance for the intellectually humble. There are 4 areas we need to work on in order to develop intellectual humility. Here, we outline what these are and how you can develop intellectual humility in each:

1. Respect for the viewpoints of others

To succeed in this, you should try to recognize the moral underpinnings of the viewpoints of others. Try to empathize with what they tell you. You can even try engaging in more playful ways with someone you wouldn’t usually. This will reduce your fear of them and their positions. Living abroad, learning new languages, and reading broadly are also great ways to increase your intellectually humble skills in this area.

2. Fostering a lack of overconfidence our own intellectual ability

Looking at the math that shows how groups can become greater than the sum of their parts by valuing diverse perspectives within them. You can easily practice this skill by actively saying ‘I might be wrong’ after expressing a strong viewpoint. Feel confident to admit when you don’t know something. This can help us be more empathetic and understand why we need it.

3. Separating our ego and our intellect

To improve your intellectual humility in this area, you should get to know your strengths and weakness when it comes to your personality traits and ego. Try to recognize when you react personally to viewpoints that challenge your own. By identifying your emotional responses, you can become more objective and open to listening. You may even seek out ego death.

4. Being willing to revise our viewpoint

Being truly intellectually humble requires us to respect the viewpoints of others. To develop this skill, we can practice actively revising our viewpoint. How could we think about what we believe differently? Can you unpick a fundamental belief you hold? Envision yourself as someone with a diametrically opposed view to your own. Try to think of what they would argue and you might see some of your invisible blind-spots.
Being intellectually humble requires us to listen more and talk less. It requires us to be empathetic to others, and be less emotionally attached to our own viewpoints. When we open our minds to water others have to offer, we can take the first steps to improved understanding and wisdom.
References:
  1. https://www.smithsonianmag.com
  2. https://plato.stanford.edu
  3. https://hbr.org


 

 

Lottie Miles

 



 
About the Author: Lottie Miles
 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 


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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
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Sexta-feira, 01 / 05 / 20

5 Signs a Lack of Self-Awareness Is Hindering Your Growth

5 Signs a Lack of Self-Awareness Is Hindering Your Growth

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

April 29th, 2020

 

When you have a lack of self-awareness, you might feel a sense of inner chaos. You won’t know why you do the things you do, or what motivates you to do them. You just flow through life with no real direction.
Self-awareness is all about knowing yourself. If you are self-aware, then you’re in touch with your wants and needs. A self-aware person understands their own personality and what makes them tick. You would know yourself like you know a friend and accept their strengths and weaknesses all the same. With self-awareness comes a sort of calmness. You’re aware of your true inner self and are able to make changes or accept what you have to.
If you lack self-awareness, you’re hindering your personal growth. You can only work on your flaws if you can identify what they are and why you have them. Similarly, you can only play to your strengths if you know what they are.
Understanding if you are suffering from a lack of self-awareness is the first step to take when you’re hoping to achieve some personal growth.

5 Signs of a Lack of Self-Awareness

1. You’re Defensive

Being able to accept flaws and failures is a skill that very self-aware people have. If you lack self-awareness, then you’re likely to be unable to process and understand criticisms well. Without a genuine and balanced view of your inner self, it’s going to be easy to rock you with slight complaints.
Some people who have a lack of self-awareness will be defensive of themselves when someone gives them a critique. Instead of seeing themselves in a realistic light, they see what they want to see. This means everything they believe is rocked when someone has a complaint.
Rather than listening to the feedback you’ve been given and taking the information on board; you go straight to the defensive. You’d rather argue for hours about your shortcomings than accept that you’re flawed. This is because of a lack of connection with yourself. If you don’t know how to communicate with yourself, even the smallest criticism will feel like an attack.
Surprisingly, this could also apply to compliments. If you’re lacking in self-awareness, you might only notice your flaws. Instead of being in touch with yourself in a balanced way, you can only see one side. You might be defensive when receiving compliments, assuming it’s a joke or that the offering was just plain wrong. You could find yourself arguing back, giving defensive reasons why you shouldn’t accept the compliment.

2. You Have No Control Over Your Emotions

Knowing yourself means knowing your emotions. If you can’t identify the emotions you’re feeling or the triggers that caused them, then you’re likely to have a lack of self-awareness. People who have no control over their emotions tend to fly off the handle regularly because they aren’t able to settle themselves. When you have a good sense of self-awareness, you become able to not only identify your triggers but identify what you need to do to solve them.
Having no emotional control means often avoiding situations that might be emotionally arousing. If you’re used to being unable to handle how you feel, then you probably choose not to experience emotions at all. This sounds smart at surface level, but living means embracing emotions – good and bad.
Having a lack of self-awareness with little emotional control will put your friendships, relationships, and career at risk. No one enjoys being around a person who spirals out often with no real understanding of why. You might get angry too easily or be too quick to become hysterical at minor negative moments.

3. You Never Take the Blame

Similar to being defensive, making excuses is a way of rejecting your flaws. There is always a reason for your behavior or decisions that don’t even involve your own shortcomings.
For example, being late for an event. Instead of admitting that you should have done better, you’ll find a hundred excuses. There was traffic, your alarm didn’t go off, your dog ate your shoes. Self-aware people are much better at saying sorry, and that they’ll simply try harder next time.
Your excuses may be totally valid at times. The difference between having or lacking self-awareness is the ability to take on board what you might have learned (for example, to set an extra alarm next time) and admitting a failure this time. A sign of personal growth is being able to accept a mistake without anger or embarrassment.
People who lack good self-awareness also consider themselves to be innocent bystanders in life. They acknowledge that something isn’t right, but they are convinced that they aren’t to blame. Everyone else is. Group projects fail because of the others, right?
If you don’t see the connection between your actions and the outcome, then you’ll never grow as a person. No more excuses, no more shifting the blame. By developing a connection with your inner self, you’ll be better able to accept that you haven’t been at your best and allow that to help you grow.

4. You Are Never Satisfied

If you don’t truly know yourself, you won’t know what you really want from life. If you have a lack of self-awareness, you won’t be truly aware of your hopes and dreams. This means you’ll just be floating through life, doing what feels right for the time being, but isn’t given you that feeling of fulfillment.
Without that inner connection, you’re destined to lead a boring life. You’ll simply feel stagnant. Stuck in a “just alright” life because you never got in touch with your true self. When you get to know yourself as a friend, you’ll know where you want to be. Knowing what motivates you to get up each day will propel you forward.
Similarly, in your relationships, lacking self-awareness will mean you accept treatment and a lifestyle that doesn’t make you feel satisfied.

5. You Have Beliefs You Do Not Understand

Perhaps the most obvious sign of having a lack of self-awareness is having beliefs you can’t explain. These might be religious or political, or just morals and values you navigate your life by. Instead of having self-awareness that causes you to connect with your inner self, you’ve just taken on the beliefs of the crowd. This crowd might be the people you spend your time with now or the way you were taught to believe as a child.
If you can’t fight for your beliefs and answer the question “why do you feel that way?”, then you might be lacking in self-awareness. You’ve taken on ideas at a superficial level because it’s what you’re used to. You haven’t developed the thought and meaning behind these beliefs as people with self-awareness do.
When you look inwards and get to know yourself, you might realize some of those beliefs don’t sit well with you anymore. You might even see you have important values that you never knew you had.

A lack of self-awareness forces you to live a surface level life.

Your career, relationships, and friendships may never feel meaningful enough because you don’t know what you genuinely want. Being self-aware could have the power to change your life. When you give yourself time to become self-aware, your personal growth will take off, and you’ll begin truly living your best life.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://www.inc.com
 
 
 
 

 

Becky Storey
 

 



 

About the Author: Becky Storey
 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 
 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 01:22
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Sábado, 25 / 04 / 20

Realistic Optimism Is Not Blind Positivity: How to Cultivate It

Realistic Optimism Is Not Blind Positivity: How to Cultivate It

Jamie Logie, B. Sc.

learning-mind.com

April 24, 2020 .

 

 

 

Optimism isn’t always the easiest way to approach life, but is realistic optimism more ideal?
We would all love to be as optimistic as possible all the time. Unfortunately, this will not be the case – and that’s ok. It’s fine to acknowledge that things aren’t always going to go perfectly despite our desires for that. Keeping a positive state of mind, and practicing realistic optimism, may serve you better than blind positivity.
The difference between the two is is that blind positivity contains a sense of ignorance to it. Ignorance does not mean stupidity, it just means a lack of knowledge about something. Taking a blind positivity approach may seem like an ideal mindset, but it will not do you any favors in the long run. Blind positivity makes you shut out the outside world. It puts a pair of blinders on your head and doesn’t allow you to face reality.
Blind positivity creates a false sense of reality and it glosses over areas of life, creates ignorance, and shuts out a lot of the world. The big issue with this is that it causes you to minimize experiences, and this can slowly eat away at your life.
This article will look at why realistic optimism is a much better approach and ways to cultivate it.

What Is Realistic Optimism?

Ideally, you don’t want to be overly pessimistic, and also not blindly positive. Realistic optimism lies somewhere in the middle. It is thought that optimism is only helpful when it’s realistic.
One great definition of realistic optimism comes to us from the medical world. If you are coming out of a major injury, or serious illness, you have to be realistic in how you approach the immediate future. One must ease back into daily activities and understand what the limitations are. Some things will limit you, some will be off-limits, but others will be possible.
This is the approach that embraces realistic optimism – understanding your limitations. Realistic optimism acknowledges negativity, but it doesn’t dwell on it.
Another way to look at realistic optimism is how you respond to when life knocks you down. It’s easy to take a negative approach and feel pity and self-sorrow.
We all have negative thoughts, there’s no denying or escaping that. So why do some people remain positive while others are extremely negative and pessimistic? If we all share these negative thoughts from time to time, what allows you to break free from them?
Here are some ways to cultivate realistic optimism:

1. Understand What Is And Isn’t In Your Control

In the case of the person coming off of an illness, injury or setback, the first thing to do is to start with a list of what you can do, what you have difficulty doing, and then the things you just can’t do.
Seeing the list of the things you can do can be a great way to boost optimism while being realistic – as the list may be longer than you expected. The list of things you would have difficulty doing can also create some optimism as it means they are not totally ruled out.
This middle list can give you a challenge and it can help you create realistic goals and timelines to accomplish this. Having a goal is always a great way to stay positive, motivated, and optimistic.

2. Understanding You Can’t Change The Past, You Can Only Change The Present

It’s so easy to dwell on past mistakes and screwups. You may wish you could just go into your mind and rip these negative thoughts out to never be seen again. It can get to where you feel these bad memories define who you are and you can’t escape them. The realistic optimism approach is to remember that you can’t change the past, you can only change the present.
When a memory that comes up that you wish you had reacted better to, tell yourself that this was the best you could do at the time. It’s ok that you didn’t have enough information, or weren’t strong enough then. Instead, learn from it and use it to make better decisions in the future.
There’s no point in beating yourself up for past mistakes as they are over and done with. Realistic optimism is about working with those negative thoughts, but keeping them in the past so they don’t prevent you from moving forward.

3. It’s All About Being Proactive In Your Approach

The realistic optimist is still at their core, passionately optimistic. They are just able to see things from all viewpoints and take in, and process, a variety of information.
Not only are they very aware, but they are also very proactive in making things happen and knowing they will succeed. Some of the most successful people are realistic optimists as they take all the best elements of realism, and optimism, and combine them together.
Realistic optimism is all about perseverance and determination. It acknowledges that setbacks will happen, but they don’t have to define or disrupt you. Winston Churchill was the definition of the realistic optimist, most notably, when he said: “Never, never, never give up.”

4. Give Yourself More Credit

Again, it’s easy to focus on the negative. We seem to do that as it’s away to avoid taking responsibility for our own actions. If we can blame things on our circumstances, we’re off the hook for being an active participant in our own lives. Realistic optimism understands that things will not always be perfect, but makes it a point to celebrate the small wins.
It’s the approach that every cloud has a silver lining, and list what you did best – however small it may be. Don’t be afraid to pat yourself on the back and celebrate your successes.

Final Thoughts

Blind positivity sounds nice, but it’s not a realistic way to go through life. On the other hand, you don’t want to be focussed on negative pessimism. Both of these are surefire ways to rob yourself of true joy.
Realistic optimism emerges as the perfect alternative to both. Being realistically optimistic allows you to be as positive as possible despite the circumstances, while not ignoring the hardships. The sooner you can come to grips to letting go of the things out of your control, and embrace realistic optimism, the freer you can feel.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://www.sciencedirect.com/
  3. https://psychcentral.com/
 

About the Author: Jamie Logie, B.Sc.

Jamie Logie is a certified personal trainer, nutritionist, and health & wellness specialist. He holds a bachelor of science (B.Sc.) degree in Kinesiology from the University of Western Ontario, studied sociology and psychology at Western University and has a counseling diploma from Heritage Baptist College. He has run a blog and top-rated podcast on iTunes called "Regained Wellness". Jamie is also a contributing writer for places like the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, LifeHack and has an Amazon #1 book called "Taking Back Your Health".

 COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
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Main Site:
violetflame.biz.ly
Alternative to Google

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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

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publicado por achama às 04:25
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Segunda-feira, 20 / 04 / 20

Why Emotional Awareness Is Important and How to Build It

Why Emotional Awareness Is Important and How to Build It

Jamie Logie, B. Sc.

learning-mind.com

April 19, 2020 .

 
strong mind superpowers.

 

 

Can developing a strong mind lead to you living a stronger life?
A stronger mind is something that’s desirable but not easily attained. The stronger your mind, the better equipped you will be at handling anything life throws at you. A strong mind can help you overcome obstacles and setbacks, allow you to persevere, and help you find success.
So, what are the superpowers that come from a mind that is strong, and how do you develop one in the first place?

The Power of a Strong Mind

A strong mind is an active mind. The best way to look at this is to consider your mind like a muscle. If you don’t exercise a muscle, it will atrophy and get weaker. It needs a consistent stimulus to stay strong and functional. Your mind is no different. It needs constant stimulation to grow and strengthen. This means giving it consistent learning, new information, challenges, and keeping it as active as possible.
If you do not challenge your mind, it can go the same way as the unexercised muscle; weaker and non-functional. Functioning with a weak mind will make you more impulsive, irrational, and easily influenced. So what are some superpowers that come from a mind that is strong and how you can strengthen and develop it?

1. Improved Confidence

This isn’t the “fake it till you make it” kind of false confidence but a true and genuine belief in yourself. Confidence comes from success and the best way to achieve success is through small, gradual steps.
Taking on too much all at once will not only lead to failure but a sense of defeat and rattled confidence. By taking small steps, you build small improvements without even realizing it. Success builds on itself, but it takes time to do so. We build success from the “one step at a time” mindset instead of trying to climb the mountain all at once.
Celebrate your small wins and accomplishments and let them motivate you to continue moving forward. No victory is too small and they all play a part in leading you to improved confidence and a stronger mind.

2. A Strong Mind Leads to a Thirst for Knowledge

Einstein said: “the more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know.” Knowledge is a lifelong pursuit and learning is never finished. A strong mind realizes that it can never master an understanding of everything but is motivated to try. This creates a thirst for knowledge that allows you to become well versed in a wide variety of subjects.
This makes you a much more interesting person. It also makes you more well-rounded with many aspects of your persona. By continuing the desire to learn, you not only strengthen the mind but open yourself up to new ideas and ways of thinking. This can help improve your worldview and how you interact with it.

3. Increased Success

We can connect this superpower of the strong mind to the last point. With an increase in knowledge, you open yourself up to more opportunity. You rarely have to second guess decisions as you have gained the information to make informed choices.
This is can allow for more success in life when it comes to jobs and careers. The person with a strong mind is better equipped to perform in whatever situation they find themselves in. Knowledge is power, and it is the backbone to success and progression.
This is another reason why you want to continue to challenge the mind and make learning a lifelong pursuit.

4. Ability to Handle Tough Situations

The person with the strong mind doesn’t fall apart at the first sign of a setback. Whereas many people react without thinking – and succumb to the stress – the person with the strong mind stands tall. They can step back from the situation, observe it, assess, and handle it in a controlled manner. They don’t overreact, lash out, or panic. They stay calm and are better equipped for navigating through adversity.
This skill is developed by taking a pause before reacting in any situation. This prevents you from an impulsive reaction and allows you to fully assess things before making a decision.
You can also build this mental strength by focusing on past situations and identifying the things, people, or situations, that triggered a negative emotion in you. This way, you will be able to identify it in the future, and know the best way to respond to it.

5. You Become Much More Self-Sufficient

Weak-minded people depend on others and can’t rely on themselves. A great superpower of having a strong mind is the ability to be self-sufficient. Everything you need is within yourself and you can manage any situation or environment, you find yourself in.
It’s great to have others to depend on, but there are many times when you will have to go it alone. Having a strong mind gives you the confidence to enter any scenario knowing you will be able to handle it.

Some Other Ways to Develop a Strong Mind

We’ve listed some ways that you can improve the strength of your mind, but here are a few more to follow:

Positive Self-Talk

This is how you become your own cheerleader and build up your confidence. Anytime you feel negative self-talk creep in, you need to nip it in the bud with something positive. It doesn’t even have to be anything major, but just remind yourself of little things you do well and have achieved. This positive self-talk goes a long way in developing a stronger mind and eventually, it will happen without you realizing.

Verbalize Your Emotions

If you can’t put a name on something, it’s hard to process it. It helps to come up with a wider emotional vocabulary that can help identify how you are feeling. The better you can be at expressing how you feel, the stronger your mind becomes.
Instead of the usual words to describe your feelings (sad, angry, happy, etc) start incorporating more specific and detailed language to express how you feel such as “vulnerable,” “dismissed,” or “isolated” as an example.

See Criticism as an Opportunity

Most of us hear the smallest criticism and simply fall apart. Instead of seeing criticism as a setback, looks at it as an opportunity to get better.
Criticism – as long as it’s constructive – is information. This information allows you to progress and move forward. These are important components of a strong mind, and when you develop this skill, you will find that you start to embrace criticism.

Final Thoughts

The good news is that it is never too late to develop a strong mind. There are little things you can do every day to help, such as increasing positive self-talk and learning to embrace criticism. The pursuit of a strong mind will not always go perfectly, but the idea is to make small positive steps. The goal of developing a strong mind is progress, not perfection.
References:
  1. https://www.success.com/
  2. https://www.researchgate.net/
 

About the Author: Jamie Logie, B.Sc.

Jamie Logie is a certified personal trainer, nutritionist, and health & wellness specialist. He holds a bachelor of science (B.Sc.) degree in Kinesiology from the University of Western Ontario, studied sociology and psychology at Western University and has a counseling diploma from Heritage Baptist College. He has run a blog and top-rated podcast on iTunes called "Regained Wellness". Jamie is also a contributing writer for places like the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, LifeHack and has an Amazon #1 book called "Taking Back Your Health".

 COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 
Main Site:
violetflame.biz.ly
Alternative to Google

 Alternatives to YouTube
 

 
 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 
 
 
 
Free counters!

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publicado por achama às 01:10
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Sábado, 18 / 04 / 20

What Is the Story of Your Life? How You Tell It May Reveal Who You Are.

What Is the Story of Your Life? 

How You Tell It May Reveal Who You Are.

Lottie Miles, M.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted April 18th, 2020.

 
story of your life narrative psychology.

 


You might not often get a chance to tell the story of your life, but when you do how would you tell it? Recent research has shown that the way you tell the story of your life has an impact on your personality and your well-being.
In this post, we take a look at how our personal narratives dictate who we are and we look at ways we can alter how we interpret our life for the better.
What Is Narrative Psychology?
Personal narratives fall within the realm of narrative psychology. Narrative psychology is concerned with how humans create meaning from stories and how they portray themselves in the story of their life. Narrative psychologists are interested in how we choose to tell our personal narratives, how this changes over time, and what this reveals about our personality.

Why Is the Story of Your Life Important?

The story of your life isn’t only present when you tell it to others, it is also a personal narrative that exists within us whether we recognize it or not.
When we think about our past we are, in fact, telling ourselves the story of our life. How we interpret that story is, according to researchers at Western Washington University, reveals, constructs and sustains ourselves through time. And it is how we make sense of the world around us.
The story of your life is important because it is a product of events, interpretations, and facts that you have picked out from your years on this earth and pieced together to make meaning. What we choose to focus on, and how we tell it can reflect who we are.

How Can the Story of Your Life Impact Who You Are?

So, what does it mean that the story of our life reflects who we are? Let’s look at an example of a memory. Imagine that you had gone through a difficult time in your career. You were made redundant and left without a job. During this time you discovered that your real interests lay elsewhere and you found yourself pursuing a different and more fulfilling career path.
How would you tell this story? Would you focus on the negative part or would you interpret this time in your life as a positive turning point in your life?
Those who tell their life stories with more of a positive slant, that see light in the dark moments, are more likely to experience greater life satisfaction and better mental health. This is also true for those who give a sense of autonomy in their life story and mention meaningful relationships within their personal narrative.
On the other hand, reliving your experiences and telling stories containing more “contamination”, negativity and a lack of autonomy can relate to less life satisfaction and reduced well-being. This can also have an impact on the kind of person we continue to be and how we continue to view the world around us.

Adjusting Our Personal Narratives

In telling our own story we reveal how we see ourselves. It uncovers how we have interpreted events in our lives and whether or not we view them from a positive or a negative angle. Unsurprisingly, this has an impact on our well-being, life satisfaction, and our self-esteem. How many times have you compared your life with someone else and being left feeling inferior?
Such a thought pattern is unhelpful, and in re-framing our personal narrative we may be able to improve our outlook on life. One study of life stories asked volunteers to write their narrative in a more constructive way – following this these individuals showed greater goal persistence long after the experiment took place. This suggests that, in re-framing our personal narrative, we can improve our motivation and general satisfaction from day to day life.
Known as ‘narrative therapy’, individuals can be helped to re-interpret the story of their life and be assisted in seeing it in a more constructive and positive way.
In this respect, re-framing the story of your life is not dissimilar to the philosophical concept that life is what we make of it and that we construct our own realities. It is not surprising, therefore, that how we construct our own life affects who we are and how we view ourselves.
Take some time to think about the story of your life and how you have previously framed it for yourself and others.
See how any of the negative aspects could be re-framed into something that you learned from, whether it led you to meet a life-long friend or generally viewing it in a more constructive light.
Life certainly has its ups and downs and not all of it can be positive. But realizing when events are actually bad, or if you have just interpreted them in that way, will help you to learn about yourself, who you are and how you might be able to alter such perspectives for improved life satisfaction and well-being.


 

 

Lottie Miles

 



 
About the Author: Lottie Miles
 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 
 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 23:05
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Sábado, 18 / 04 / 20

When Everything Is Falling Apart, Remember 6 Sobering Truths

When Everything Is Falling Apart, Remember 6 Sobering Truths.

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

April 18th, 2020

 

Never have our lives been so unusual. We are truly living in unprecedented times and honestly, it feels a little like everything is falling apart. We’ve lost our jobs, our incomes, and our security. Our friends and family are being forced to stay away. Nothing feels all that great right now.
Still, inside the darkness, there is light. When everything is falling apart, there are still things that should bring you back to reality. It’s not misguided positivity, it’s sobering truths that we should hold close when our hardship starts to feel like too much to handle.

6 Things to Remember When Everything Is Falling Apart

1. Pain Is Temporary

I think it’s fair to say that we’ve all been through something difficult in our lives. I doubt there are many among us who have lived perfect, easy lives. We’ve all faced hardship before, and we all know that pain is temporary.
When everything is falling apart, it can be easy to give up and assume things will be this way forever. In these surreal times of a global pandemic, it seems like we’ve got no evidence to fall back on, but we do. Every hard phase has come to an end eventually.
Every time you thought life would never get better, it did. When you find yourself spiraling, as we all do at times, bring yourself back with this one sobering truth – pain doesn’t last forever.

2. Worrying Doesn’t Solve Anything

Worrying has been proven time and time again to be terrible for your health. It increases your risk of countless illnesses, including heart conditions, cancer, and stroke. It’s also bad for your immune system, and in times like these when we’re all trying to be as healthy as possible, worrying will never help.
Letting your mind run free with fear won’t fix the current crisis or any others. You can’t worry the world better. No amount of “planning” or “understanding”, as we anxious folk convince ourselves we’re doing, will make a dangerous virus go away any sooner or be any less deadly.
Instead of dwelling on the idea that everything is falling apart, focus on what you can do to keep it together. You could consider donating to charities, or volunteering. Remember that by staying home, you are helping. You don’t need to worry if you’re already you’re doing exactly what needs to be done to fix the world.

3. Without Hard Times, We Don’t Appreciate the Good Times

We might be experiencing an extreme example right now, but it’s working. Never have I been more grateful for the people I love, and the little moments of joy we get each day. I also know I’ll be more appreciative of the freedom and moments of social non-distancing we get when all of this is over.
If you live a totally undisturbed life, you might not feel much appreciation for the best times, because they aren’t much different from the worst. Now, when it seems that everything is falling apart, we’re truly grateful for what we still have, and what we can’t wait to get back.
As the saying goes, you only know what you’ve got when it’s gone.

4. Slow and Steady Wins the Race

No matter how much we wish it, we can’t speed this one along. At times, this process feels incredibly slow. We don’t have an end date in sight, and we all know how slowly time passes when we’re stuck at home.
If you feel that everything is falling apart, your first instinct is to fix it as soon as possible. We want the problem solved and we don’t care how we get there. But we don’t get that choice right now. This isn’t something we can rush through. In fact, the more we try to rush this by forcing normality before it’s time, the longer we’ll have to wait.
If we have no choice but to wait it out, then there’s no better time to practice patience. We get wrapped up in modern life so often that we rarely have to wait for anything. Take this opportunity to learn a skill most of us, myself included, don’t have. The world might be a little nicer if we all emerge from this with more patience.

5. Kindness Doesn’t Cost A Thing

In this time of darkness, when it seems that everything is falling apart, there is one thing always left – kindness. We are suffering now, globally. There’s no skirting around it, global pandemics really suck. We feel as though we’ve lost everything, but we haven’t. We haven’t lost each other.
Kindness keeps us moving, gives us strength and brings us closer. Being nice to others in this difficult time makes a huge difference. During your moments outside, exchange a smile with a fellow exerciser. Greet neighbors when you pass them (at a distance). You’d be surprised how much these minor interactions could change someone’s day. Be gentle and respectful of others, especially those who are still having to work.
The kinder you are on the outside, the kinder you’ll be to yourself too. Nothing is better for your self-esteem than making others happy.

6. Challenges Help Us Grow

Unprecedented times teach us things we would never have had the opportunity to learn before. We may have gone our whole lives never learning how to entertain ourselves. We could never have had this time to learn new hobbies, or really get to know ourselves.
They say you grow through what you go through, and that couldn’t be truer now. I like to think that when this whole thing is over, we’ll all emerge like butterflies. Harrier, less manicured butterflies, but butterflies nonetheless.
Right now, by doing absolutely nothing, you’re developing skills you could have lived your entire life without. Of course, we’re growing patience, and we’re also growing resilience. In the future, when life inevitably gets chaotic again (though hopefully not in the same way) you’ll be ready to face it head-on, knowing you’ve faced serious hardship already. The minor troubles that might have set off a spiral before won’t phase us anymore.
We’ve been learning to be gentle with ourselves and others. We’ve learned to be happy with the little victories and accepting of the losses. Awful things are happening all over the world, and as everything feels like it’s falling apart, we’re developing strength like never before.

After All, Everything Isn’t Falling Apart

Before you let your thoughts of hopelessness drag you down, remember that some important facts of life, the sobering truths, will never change. Everything isn’t falling apart, no matter how close it might feel. Gratitude is what will hold us together.
I know it sounds mad, but enjoy this time. Embrace the people around you, whether it’s family or friends at home, or neighbors you pass on a daily walk. Embrace the time for yourself, to get to know you. This will end and we will get back to normal, and maybe we’ll all be better people when we do, but until then remember things aren’t always as broken as they seem.
 
 
 
 

 

Becky Storey
 

 



 

About the Author: Becky Storey
 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 
 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 22:47
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Sábado, 18 / 04 / 20

Elderly Loneliness and Its 4 Causes and Effects

Elderly Loneliness and Its 4 Causes and Effects

Lottie Miles, M.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted April 17th, 2020.

 
.elderly loneliness causes effects

 


Loneliness can affect people at any stage of their lives. However, as we get older, the fundamentals of life and death mean we become more vulnerable to loneliness. From retirement to bereavement, ill health, and physical distance from loved ones, common causes of loneliness can mount up as we age.
But what do we mean when we talk about loneliness and social isolation? How bad is loneliness for your health? And what can we do to combat loneliness as we get older? In this post, we will explore the answers to these questions by looking at 4 causes and effects of elderly loneliness.

What do we mean by social isolation and loneliness?

By 75 and above, over 50% of people live alone. Some people may live alone far from their family and friends making it harder to have regular contact with them. Indeed, millions of older people living alone can go 5 or 6 days every week without seeing anyone.
The combination of these factors can usefully describe someone being isolated. However, being alone or isolated doesn’t necessarily mean we feel lonely. So what do we mean when we talk about loneliness?
Whilst being alone can certainly contribute to loneliness, it is still possible to feel lonely when engaged with others. As such, loneliness relates specifically to an emotional response we feel when our need for positive social contact isn’t met. We may also feel lonely if the people around us don’t understand us.
Loneliness is a universal feeling everyone has likely experienced at some time. When it comes to fighting loneliness, the important thing is having quality social contact with people.

4 Causes and Effects of Elderly Loneliness

Numerous studies have shown how social isolation and loneliness can be damaging to your health. For example, Holt-Lundstad’s 2010 study found that the combination of living alone, loneliness, and poor quality social connections is as bad for an individual’s health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
In a later study, they found loneliness increased the risk of death by 29%. Vlatorta, et. al’s 2016 paper found loneliness heightened the risk of dementia, depression, and heart disease.
Here, we outline 4 common causes of loneliness for elderly people. We also consider the effects of each of these causes and some strategies to overcome them.

1. Adjusting to retirement

Whilst retirement should be something we look forward to, many people find adjusting to it hard. From the routine provided by work, daily contact with different people, and a clear sense of direction. Work provides a structure for so much of our lives. When we give this up, we can feel lost, experience a loss of identity, and often have to learn how to combine more time with less money.
The effect of these challenges can lead people to feel lonely. However, new structures and routines can be built into retired life. Extra time, can also offer you the freedom to learn something new.
Learning new things or taking up an exercise class is known to be beneficial for a healthy mind. Finding new ways to engage with others in a meaningful way makes it easier to build quality social contact into your life.

2. Bereavement and loss of companionship

As we get older, more of the people we know and love die. The loss of a partner can cause chronic loneliness. People may also experience this if their partner’s health deteriorates and they have to be moved into a care home.
As we get older, we may also find ourselves living further away from our friends and less able to visit. Lifetime friends may have passed away, adding to a sense of loneliness. Nevertheless, there is value in nostalgia and a longing for the past, it is important and can be beneficial and even overcome loneliness.
Making new connections is a great way to overcome this cause of loneliness. Indeed, finding new passions, or re-igniting old ones, can help combat this cause of loneliness likely to affect us all at some point in our lives. From volunteering to dance, art, or anything else that interests you, by engaging with new people in different ways, we can find ways to cope with elderly loneliness caused by loss.

3. Issues with health

As we get older, we are more likely to experience ill health and mobility decline. Ill health and loss of mobility can make it physically difficult to socialize with others in ways we used to. As such, ill-health can itself be both a cause and effect of loneliness.
This can make it a challenge to distinguish the effects of ill health and mobility issues on social isolation and vice versa. Befriending schemes and intergenerational projects are a great way to help overcome this cause of elderly loneliness and social isolation.

4. Lack of transport

As well as often becoming less physically mobile as age, our ability to drive our own car can sadly be another cause of loneliness. For those living in rural areas, this is particularly challenging as they may not live anywhere near a bus route either. Often, one of our main modes of social contact is through leaving the home.
Therefore, losing the ability to head out can reduce social contact for people and cause them to feel lonely and isolated. Joining an online community can be helpful. It can allow you to discuss issues with your peers. You may also find you feel more connected without having to leave the home.
Loneliness does not discriminate. However, as we get older, we face many more challenges that increase the risk of us feeling lonely. Finding new ways to meaningfully connect with others is the best way to help us defend against the causes and effects of elderly loneliness.


 

 

Lottie Miles

 



 
About the Author: Lottie Miles
 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 
 
 
 
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Domingo, 12 / 04 / 20

4 Signs You Need an Information Detox and How to Do It

4 Signs You Need an Information Detox and How to Do It

Lottie Miles, M.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted April 12th, 2020.

 
information detox signs.

 


Even at the best of times, it is easy to get overloaded with information. However, whilst we hear a lot about the symptoms of information overload, we don’t often hear about how to detox from it. During the time of the coronavirus, recognizing when we might need an information detox is even more important.
In this, post, we will look at 4 signs you might need an information detox and how to do it.

What Is Information Overload?

Information overload refers to the overstimulation of the brain that takes place from exposure to excessive amounts of irrelevant information. As powerful as the brain is, too much information can flood it and even drive out knowledge.
Information overload can decrease our ability to process information and reduce the quality of our decision making. It can also affect both our physical and mental well-being. For example, it can lead to;
  • raised blood pressure
  • depression and low mood
  • a lack of energy
  • insomnia & tiredness
  • reduced cognitive power and performance
  • reduced productivity

4 Signs You Need an Information Detox

As you can see, information overload can be damaging to our health. During the time of coronavirus, this is heightened due to the nature of information propagating across every area of society. To help overcome this, we outline 4 ways to notice you need an information detox and how to achieve it.

1. You feel in a heightened state of anxiety

As tempting as it can be to stay informed about the latest on the coronavirus, this can be damaging to our mental health. Moreover, spending too much time on social media can be toxic and bad for your health at the best of times. Even verified news can be harmful during a time of crisis due to the nature of what is being reported on.
When we feel anxious, small things can feel overwhelming. As such, it is important to take control of our interactions with new media if we are to protect our mental wellbeing.

How to detox:

If you find yourself feeling in a heightened sense of anxiety, take note of how long you have been spending on social media platforms or news websites. Does the length of time you spend on these platforms seem to have a correlative effect on your mood?
If you feel it does, a good way to manage this is by setting daily limits. These can be controlled with willpower alone or enforced by apps which can be used to block sites in a variety of ways.

2. Social media can be isolating

Numerous studies confirm the link between the use of social media and isolation. Whilst the coronavirus and social distancing requires us to communicate more using digital means, this doesn’t necessarily mean social media is the best way to do this. Typically, sites like Facebook and Twitter portray idealized versions of reality, which can foster the fear of missing out (FOMO) so bad for our mental health.
How to detox:
Once again, the key way to deal with this is to detox. Distraction-blocking apps can be a great way to do this again. However, ultimately, focusing on reducing the time we spend on social media can e effective.
Nevertheless, if one reason we are drawn to look at social media daily is to feel connected with others, we can also try to implement new communication channels. This could include chatting more on Skype, Zoom, or Jitsi. Or it could be playing games online with friends. Alternatively, you could send a daily favorite poem or quote to people we care about.

3. You don’t know what to believe

In the time of the coronavirus, this is even more apparent with rumors aplenty spreading like wildfire across the internet. If you are not ready for an information detox, then you can deal with this by checking the source, cross-referencing with what reputed organizations like the WHO say.

How to detox:

It is also a good idea to take a step back before reposting distressing things. By doing this, we protect the well-being of others who may not have heard of an information detox.
To detox from untrustworthy information, you should avoid social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter. If you feel a desire to find out information, you can go directly to a source you trust. This way you stay in control of what you read much more than letting algorithms decide what you see.

4. We struggle to be present in the moment

Whether it was before coronavirus lockdown or after, people have long been absorbed in their phones. Indeed, a common sign that we are suffering from information overload is the compulsion to check emails, apps, and social media. When we do this, we need a detox.
When we are on the phone, it is hard to be wholly aware of our surroundings. As such, we can become detached from the reality around us. This can reduce our attention spans and our ability to focus and have a negative impact on our wellbeing.
How to detox:
To deal with this we can prevent access to our phones. This can be by physically leave our phone outside of the room we are in. We can also use apps or will-power. However, we can also be even more proactive when we recognize this sign of needing to detox from information. You can learn to focus on the present by practicing meditation. Meditation can also be used as a tool for anxiety relief.

An information detox can be useful at any time

During normal times, it is easy to become overloaded with information and need a detox. With the coronavirus forcing us to spend more time indoors, we need to be even more wary of this tendency. Be vigilant for the signs outlined above and try as many of the information detox techniques as possible.


 

 

Lottie Miles

 



 
About the Author: Lottie Miles
 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 
 
 
 
Free counters!

  geoglobe1
 
 
tags: , , , , , , ,
publicado por achama às 19:26
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Sábado, 11 / 04 / 20

How to Cope with Social Isolation and Loneliness?

How to Cope with Social Isolation and Loneliness? 

An Astronaut’s Guide.

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

April 10th, 2020

 


In these wildly unexpected times, we’re all experiencing loneliness in a way we’ve never done before. Social isolation and loneliness are brand new to most of us and even the most introverted amongst us aren’t having much fun anymore.
As humans, we’re social creatures, we love to be around others. Unless you’re lucky enough to live with everyone who means something to you, you’re probably craving some more contact. The days feel long, and the loneliness keeps growing. But, if you think social isolation in your home is hard, try doing it in space, thousands of miles from Earth and normal human interaction.
Social Isolation and Loneliness in Space: an Astronaut’s View
Dr. D. Marshall Porterfield was a professor of Agricultural and Biological Engineering at Purdue University in Indiana, USA. He is currently the Director of Space Life and Physical Science at NASA, which took him all the way to the International Space Station (ISS). Dr. Porterfield is now an expert on coping with loneliness and social isolation. In his interview with Lifehacker, he gave a helpful piece of advice for getting through these difficult times.

What Can an Astronaut Teach Us?

As difficult as we think we have it now, I think it’s fair to say that being in outer space must be harder. The available room for an astronaut is much smaller than most of our homes, so it’s easy to feel claustrophobic and cramped.
You might also be sharing that space with a few strangers, and sometimes they might all speak different languages. While some company could help us feel less loneliness, but we all know that it’s easy to feel lonely even in a crowded room.
While we might get to wave at a neighbor or pass by others when we stretch our legs outside, astronauts don’t get those luxuries. They’re in completely unfamiliar environments while we’re in our own homes. We’re alone together in our social isolation, they’re alone in the universe.
It’s not a competition though, we’re all struggling down here on Earth too. Fortunately for us, astronauts have seen it all. They’re the leading experts in coping with social isolation and loneliness, and they’ve finally shared their secrets.

An Astronaut’s Secret Tips for Coping with Social Isolation and Loneliness

Keep a Routine

Dr. Porterfield says that all astronauts have strict schedules filled with activities, sometimes they’re even organized as far as every 5 minutes. Structure is important to avoid feeling lost and hopeless. Instead of dwelling on the loneliness, it’s recommended that you have plans in place to keep you busy.
When you’re not able to get out and about, each day can feel scary and uncertain. Our astronaut suggests that you have a time to wake up, a time to get moving, and always have a time for things that make you feel happy every day. That’s not to say that every day should look the same, but try to have a sort of plan before you go to bed the day before.
Nothing needs to be organized as strictly as the astronaut’s schedule but having a plan will help to reduce the daunting nature of the days and ease your time in social isolation.

Stay Active

Astronauts get 2 hours of exercise a day, Dr. D. Marshall Porterfield says. Fortunately, exercising here on Earth is much easier than on the International Space Station.
Depending on where you are, you might even be allowed a little time to exercise outside. If you can, this is the best bet and not something to be taken for granted. Follow your government’s guidelines and stay away from others, but if you can get those endorphins flowing and get some fresh air at the same time, do it. If outdoors isn’t what you want or isn’t allowed, then there are endless possibilities online! From gym-style workouts to yoga and dance, there are so many at-home versions of your favorite exercises right at your fingertips.
Exercising regularly reduces your risk of developing a whole host of life-threatening conditions and illnesses, such as heart disease, stroke, and cancer. Possibly more importantly given our social isolation situation, exercising is incredibly beneficial for your psychological health. Stave off loneliness, depression, and anxiety whilst boosting your mood and improving your sleep.
Dr. Porterfield says that even if you have never been much of an exerciser, now is a great time to start. This time could be life-changing for the better!

Keep in Contact with Your Loved Ones

You’re probably missing some people quite a bit right now. You might even be missing people you never thought you would. Loneliness can come on quickly when you’re separated from the people you love, even if you’re not living alone.
Even on the International Space Station, astronauts keep in close contact with their friends and family back home. These kinds of interactions should be a priority for your mental health. You don’t need to be in physical contact with people to fight loneliness. A simple phone call can keep your mood high.
Small interactions with the people you miss and just letting them know you’re thinking of them is important, Porterfield says. It’s easy to feel alone in social isolation, but it’s even easier to learn that you aren’t. While you’re physically distant from others, you can always ensure you’re never emotionally distant.

Find Your Purpose

Dr. Porterfield says that in order to fight the hopelessness and stay motivated amid the social distancing loneliness, you should find your purpose for doing it. Astronauts might suffer out in space, but they know why they’re doing it and are motivated to keep going.
It might be harder to see our purpose when you’re just stuck at home, but there is one. By preventing further spread, we’re stopping our health services from getting overwhelmed and helping to save lives. If you need a purpose to motivate you to stick it out through the discomfort of social isolation, what better one than saving lives? Maybe it’s your grandparents, vulnerable friends or family, or maybe you just love your community and want to help it survive.
Whatever your purpose is, remember it and hold it close. This is what will help you stay strong on the hardest days.
Loneliness is getting to us all; you aren’t alone in your struggle. Reach out to loved ones, keep the people you care about close. Social isolation and loneliness are hard, but we will get back to normal eventually. Until then we keep moving, and we keep remembering why we’re doing this. Stay home, save lives.
 
 
 
 

 

Becky Storey
 

 



 

About the Author: Becky Storey
 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 


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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

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publicado por achama às 04:52
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Sábado, 11 / 04 / 20

4 Strategies for Overcoming Procrastination, Backed by Studies.

4 Strategies for Overcoming Procrastination, Backed by Studies.

Jamie Logie, B. Sc.

learning-mind.com

April 10, 2020 .

 
overcoming procrastination strategies.

 

 

How often has the inability to get things done held you back in life? Overcoming procrastination can be one of the most significant things to take back control of your life.
Procrastination can throw a wrench in your ability to work, create, and progress. We all know the feeling; the longer you put something off, the worse it gets. It can reach the point where even the simplest task feels overwhelming and monumental. When you learn to overcome procrastination, you can take back your life.
This article will look at 4 strategies for overcoming procrastination that use science to back them up.

Why Do We Procrastinate?

Why do we put off the simplest tasks? It could be doing the laundry or calling about a dentist’s appointment, but when you are faced with these minimal assignments, they feel like having to move a giant boulder. Why are we more likely to put off even the simplest thing?
Procrastination isn’t about laziness, or being bad at time management – it goes a lot deeper. There are many fields of psychology that all look at procrastination in a slightly different way. Neurophysiologists say it can be more about execution function and failing to do that. This basically means you have a mismanaged way of how you plan ahead or prioritize things.
Social psychologists may consider it more related to emotional regulation problems. It could come down to simply wanting to avoid stress. If you peel back the layers on the human experience, everything we do comes down to two approaches:
  1. Gain pleasure
  2. Avoid pain
Calling to make a dentist’s appointment isn’t a massive trauma, but there is still an obligation, expectation, and responsibility to do it. This is enough to create a bit of stress. And even a little stress is still stress. Your body will avoid it at all costs, and this may be why you procrastinate. From an evolutionary perspective, this may all be about self-preservation.

What Does Science Say about Procrastination?

The one good thing to consider when you look at overcoming procrastination is to know you’re not alone. Procrastination impacts almost every person at one point or another. The issue is how severe it gets and if it becomes a debilitating condition.
Procrastination might even be part of our evolutionary makeup. Researchers from the University of Colorado Boulder looked to see if this issue may be genetic. They asked pairs of twins what specific work habits they had. They looked at fraternal twins (who only share some of their DNA), and identical twins (who share all of their DNA).
All the sets of twins grew up together, so the researchers looked to see if genetics had some influence in their procrastination. They found that about half the time, the differences in procrastination could be because of differences in genetics. What this all means is that procrastination might be built right into us.
So how do you start overcoming procrastination? Here are 4 ways:

1. Start Very Small

Have you ever noticed when you start cleaning up something very small, you then realize you have cleaned the whole house without realizing it? This is the importance of starting small with any task, and it’s probably the most important strategy for overcoming procrastination.
Don’t feel you have to take on the whole thing at once, but break it down into smaller, more manageable chunks. When you start with the smallest thing first, it has a spillover effect that creates momentum and motivation to keep you going.
There’s science behind this too: the research shows that when you start a task, your brain continues to process it even when it’s not finished. You’ll be more likely to return to it and complete it. We remember the tasks we haven’t completed more than the ones we’ve finished.

2. Break Up the Tasks into Timed Intervals

They call this the Pomodoro method, and I’m using it right now to write this article. The brain can only fully focus on so much before it needs a break. Francesco Pomodoro invented the technique in the 80s and it uses timed intervals to help keep you on task.
Every 25 minutes you take a break for 3-5 minutes. This gives your brain a chance to “breathe” before stress sets in. After you have done 4 cycles of 25 minutes, you would take a 15-20 minute break before starting again.
Not only does this help you become more productive and improve your time management, but it also makes you more motivated to start. If you know you have breaks coming up very soon, it’s easier to begin a task or assignment. The prospect of having to work 4 hours straight is an easy way to talk yourself out of doing it.
Another benefit of this technique is that it tells your mind that there is a sense of urgency. Because there is a timer, there is the sense that you better get started. If you feel you have endless time during the day, it makes it much harder to start.

3. Overcoming Procrastination by Understand Your Limitations

If you are someone who can read for an hour, that’s working within your limitations. If an hour seems overwhelming, consider the effort you’re willing to commit to that task. They call this “finding your resistance level.” If the hour seems too much, what about 25-30 minutes? Narrow this amount of time down until you get to the point where you feel more willing to undertake the task.

4. Look at the Costs of Your Procrastination

Some procrastination doesn’t have significant repercussions – but some can be extreme. If you’re putting off bigger tasks, make a list of the things that will happen if you do not get this thing done. When you see this list looking back at you, the consequences of not completing it appear more clearly.
This can work on a small scale too, such as not doing your laundry. Issues from this could be:
  1. The build-up of more and more clothes to wash and more time to have to commit
  2. Nothing clean to wear to work
  3. Having to wear the same thing on multiple days which can lead to embarrassment
  4. Wearing clothes that smell which is even more embarrassment and shame
A simple task can spiral out of control. So take a few minutes and write a list of how not getting started on something will hurt you in the long run.

Final Thoughts

Overcoming procrastination won’t happen overnight, but it is very achievable. Another bonus tip is to free yourself from distractions before starting a task. There are so many things vying for our attention, so make sure you limit what can reach you. This could mean turning off your phone or turning it to airplane mode to avoid distracting notifications that prevent you from starting (I’m also doing this right now while writing this article).
Procrastination is nothing to feel bad about. It’s natural, part of the human experience, and also appears to be genetic. By getting a better understanding of procrastination, and using these strategies, you will be more likely to overcome and conquer it.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologicalscience.org/
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/
  3. https://www.researchgate.net/
  4. https://hbr.org/
 

About the Author: Jamie Logie, B.Sc.

Jamie Logie is a certified personal trainer, nutritionist, and health & wellness specialist. He holds a bachelor of science (B.Sc.) degree in Kinesiology from the University of Western Ontario, studied sociology and psychology at Western University and has a counseling diploma from Heritage Baptist College. He has run a blog and top-rated podcast on iTunes called "Regained Wellness". Jamie is also a contributing writer for places like the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, LifeHack and has an Amazon #1 book called "Taking Back Your Health".

 COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
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Main Site:
violetflame.biz.ly
Alternative to Google

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Jordan Sather's 
 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 
 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 04:29
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Sexta-feira, 10 / 04 / 20

Spiritual Loneliness: The Most Profound Type of Loneliness.

Spiritual Loneliness: 

The Most Profound Type of Loneliness.

By Anna LeMind, M.A.

April 9th, 2020

.

 

 

Loneliness is more widespread today than ever before. In our modern world, we are staying virtually connected all the time but feel more detached from each other in real life. Many people find themselves socially and emotionally lonely, but few know what spiritual loneliness is.
Recent events have further heightened the feelings of loneliness. Social distancing measures require us to stay at home and avoid unnecessary contact with other people. With this mandatory isolation, it makes sense why you might be feeling lonely right now, especially if you are an outgoing person.
But did you know that loneliness has many facets? And today, we will talk about the most profound and painful one – the spiritual loneliness.

4 Types of Loneliness

I believe there are four basic types of loneliness:
  1. Social loneliness: the most common type. You could be feeling socially lonely right now when you are stuck in your home and can’t see your friends or family. You can also experience it when you lack social connections or activities.
  2. Emotional loneliness: doesn’t necessarily involve being alone or lacking connections. You could have friends and family but feel emotionally disconnected from them. It comes from a lack of understanding and the inability to relate to those around you.
  3. Mental loneliness: the inability to discuss things that feel important and interesting to you with other people. Similarly to emotional loneliness, it can come from a lack of understanding – but in an intellectual sense of it. A lack of intellectually compatible or like-minded individuals to share your interests and views with.
  4. Spiritual loneliness: doesn’t come from a lack of social or emotional connections. An overall feeling of detachment from everyone and belonging nowhere. Feeling that your life is incomplete and lacks meaning. A vague sense of longing, but you can’t say what or who you long for.

How Does Spiritual Loneliness Feel?

While the other types of loneliness tend to be temporary and occur only in certain periods of your life, spiritual one is not. This feeling haunts you for a lifetime. You may not experience it every day, but you know it is always there and sooner or later, it will show up again.
Here are a few symptoms of spiritual loneliness:

Life is passing you by

It may seem like life is passing you by and everyone else participates in something you are a stranger to. You may feel disconnected from reality and clueless about life while everyone else seems to know what they are doing.
No matter what you do, where you are or who you are with, it feels not enough. As if you long for some unknown place, person or thing. Like there is something bigger, deeper and more meaningful and your life lacks it.

Longing for unknown somewhere and belonging nowhere

There is a beautiful Welsh word “Hiraeth”, which stands for a longing for home. However, it describes a very specific type of homesickness – for something that no longer exists or may have never existed. Hiraeth could be a longing for the homeland of your ancestors you have never been to.
I believe this word perfectly describes the feeling of spiritual loneliness. It’s like you don’t belong in this world and your place is somewhere else, far from here, but you don’t know where this is.
You may have felt this way when gazing into the starry sky on a dark summer night. It’s as if some far-away unknown homeland is calling you through the depths of the universe. However, with spiritual loneliness, you feel this way on a regular basis, not only when you look at the sky.

Detachment from everyone

Spiritual loneliness gets even more intense when you are surrounded by other people. You feel that you just can’t relate to them no matter what you do.
Have you ever been in the company of people you barely know who were discussing something you didn’t have a clue about? For example, their common acquaintance or a hobby they share. So you just sat there feeling a total stranger, unable to take part in the conversation. In situations like this, anyone would feel lonely.
But as a spiritually lonely person, this is your normal emotional state when you are with other people, especially at a large social gathering. It’s like there is an invisible wall that separates you from others.
In this example with the group discussion, the energies of people who participate in the conversation sort of unite into one big sphere. And you remain outside of this sphere. Everyone is connected with each other – but you. You always play the role of an outside observer.
This is what spiritual loneliness feels like.

The Spiritual Loneliness of Deep Thinkers

I believe this type of loneliness affects deep thinkers in the first place. All those people who are prone to reflection, self-analysis and overthinking. Visionaries, romantics and dreamers. It’s not a coincidence that many writers refer to spiritual loneliness in their literary works, even though they don’t use this specific word for it.For example, Russian existentialist author Fyodor Dostoevsky writes in his famous novel “Idiot”: 
What had so tormented him was the idea that he was a stranger to all this, that he was outside this glorious festival. What was this universe? What was this grand, eternal pageant to which he had yearned from his childhood up, and in which he could never take part? […]
Everything knew its path and loved it, went forth with a song and returned with a song; only he knew nothing, understood nothing, neither men nor words nor any of nature’s voices; he was a stranger and an outcast.
Albert Einstein, a genius physicist who was also an INTP and a deep thinker, probably suffered from spiritual loneliness too. He said:
It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely.

Is It Possible to Overcome Spiritual Loneliness?

If you are a spiritually lonely person, there is no ‘magic’ way to stop being one once and for all. There are only ways to silence this pain of not belonging. The problem with spiritual loneliness is that you can’t find what exactly is missing from your life and what you long for.
You know those times when you try to remember an exciting dream you just had, but no matter how hard you try, it just slips away from your mind. This is how it goes with spiritual loneliness. No matter how hard you try to find its source, you can’t. It’s just the way it is.
For example, a way to end social loneliness is to go out more often and make new connections. Emotional loneliness is more tricky, but it is still possible to find people you can relate to and who will understand you. With mental loneliness, all it takes is to find a like-minded person to have deep conversations with. Not easy, but achievable.
But as for spiritual loneliness, you can’t solve a problem without knowing its cause. And the existential depth of this loneliness makes it difficult to deal with.
In my experience, the only way to cope with it is to accept it.
Accept the fact that spiritual loneliness will be your lifetime companion. Make friends with it. When it shows up, don’t try to get rid of it. This will only lead to resentment and bottled emotions. Instead, let yourself feel it in all its depth.
At some point, you will get used to it. You will see how pain and darkness turn into bittersweet nostalgia and melancholic thoughtfulness.
And most importantly, if you relate to the above, remember that no matter how spiritually lonely you are, you are not alone.
 

Anna LeMind
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About the Author: Anna LeMind

Anna is the founder and lead editor of the website Learning-mind.com. She is passionate about learning new things and reflecting on thought-provoking ideas. She writes about science, psychology and other related topics. She is particularly interested in topics regarding introversion, consciousness and subconscious, perception, human mind's potential, as well as the nature of reality and the universe.
 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

Archives:
 
 
Main Site: violetflame.biz.ly
 
 
 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.
 
 
Discernment is recommended.
 
 
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 
 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 04:22
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Segunda-feira, 06 / 04 / 20

Study: Why Saying ‘Thank You’ Is Better Than Saying ‘I’m Sorry’.

Study: 

Why Saying ‘Thank You’ Is Better Than Saying ‘I’m Sorry’.

Jamie Logie, B. Sc.

learning-mind.com

April 5, 2020 .

 
saying thank you instead of im sorry.

 

 

Could the simple approach of altering an apology and saying thank you be a much better form of communication?
Expressing gratitude is something they teach us from a young age. It shows appreciation, kindness, and respect. You probably never think of saying thank you when it comes to apologizing – but it may be a more effective approach.
If you work and deal with the public, this can be a much more effective strategy than constantly apologizing. This isn’t just for someone who works in retail, but switching from saying ‘I’m sorry’ to ‘Thank you‘ may help in your daily relationships.
This article looks at a recent study that took a deeper look into this approach.

The Science Behind Why Saying ‘Thank You’ Is Better

This study was a multi-university approach and dealt with the issue of customer service satisfaction. The University of South Carolina, New Mexico State University, Zhejiang University in China, and The Ohio State University worked together to investigate this.
They looked at the issue of consumers’ expectations of quality service being higher than ever. Business leaders around the world have recognized this increase in service quality demand. At the same time, it’s clear that there are many issues surrounding customer interactions with service providers.
The attempt of this study was to find the best way to restore customer satisfaction as it’s needed in retail and business. The whole issues go far beyond a consumer feeling disregarded as poor customer service is costing companies billions of dollars. In 2016, the U.S. lost a staggering $1.6 trillion dollars because of customers switching to competing companies. This was all because of poor service. This has a spillover effect because of word-of-mouth and the damage that comes from this.
These days, word-of-mouth happens online – and it happens fast. Poor service has led to 44% of unsatisfied customers venting about it on social media. A bad review or report that goes viral can sink a company. This is nowhere more clear than in the hospitality industry, with a large proportion of consumers unsatisfied with how things go when dining out.
So what we have we seen to remedy this situation, and how can you apply it to your own life?

Why You Need to Stop Apologizing

The study looked at how service providers could restore customer satisfaction after a service failure. They focused on two different forms of recovery communication; saying ‘thank you’ (showing appreciation) and saying ‘sorry’ (the apology). The example the study gives has to do with a plumber who was late for an appointment: the plumber could either say “I am sorry you had to wait,” or “Thank you for your patience.”
The study found that showing appreciation to the consumer was a more effective approach. Saying ‘thank you’ was better at restoring consumer satisfaction than saying “I’m sorry.”
This has practical effects in real-world situations. When service providers show appreciation, the consumer becomes satisfied that the situation has been recovered in the best way possible. This leads the customer to stick with that business, recommend it to others, and less likely to complain in the future.
When you constantly say you’re sorry to someone, they get the sense that you aren’t doing everything in your power to improve the situation. Only saying sorry to a person (whether it’s a customer, friend, associate, etc) gives them the impression that you’ve washed your hands of things and what’s done is done.
According to the study, saying ‘I’m sorry’ emphasizes the service provider’s fault, while saying ‘thank you’ makes the customer feel more important.

Why Is Saying Thank You So Much More Powerful?

The sense of importance a customer feels is because saying thank you highlights their merits and contributions. When you say ‘thank you for your patience’ you are showing the positive contribution they have made. This may seem small, but it’s a way to improve a person’s self-esteem. With business, it enhances post-recovery satisfaction. With a friend or family member, it enhances the bond between the two of you.
When you say ‘Thank you’ instead of ‘I’m sorry’ – in any aspect of your life – it helps you deal with even the most difficult people. A narcissistic person only thinks of themselves, and if you can highlight their contribution and merits, they embrace this and can adapt quicker. Saying ‘I’m sorry’ takes the emphasis away from them and puts it on you.
Sometimes an apology is needed, but you just need to read the situation and see what it calls for. In the service industry example; saying ‘thank you’ (the appreciative approach) will be the best approach for those highly narcissistic people. The appreciation approach might not work as well for customers and people who are quiet, shy and show low narcissism.

What to Take Away from This Study

The key takeaway is that saying ‘thank you’ isn’t a way to get out of apologizing, but has some real resolution power to it. If you work in a retail setting, this can be a great time to use this method with the rise of angry and unreasonable customers. Besides saying ‘thank you for your patience,’ you can also use variations of:
  • Thank you for your understanding
  • Thank you for coming to me with this
  • I appreciate you bringing this to my attention, thank you
On a personal level, saying ‘thank you’ does a better job of resolving a conflict with another person. The appreciation approach gets you onto their level and they feel valued. It’s all about shifting the focus from things being your fault and spotlight the merit in others.
People rarely feel appreciated, and if you can do this in a negative situation, you create a better bond, connection, and resolution with that person. Ultimately, they go away feeling better about themselves.
Saying ‘thank you’ isn’t a cop-out, it’s a simple way to improve the lives of those around you.
References:
  1. https://journals.sagepub.com
  2. https://psychcentral.com
.
 

About the Author: Jamie Logie, B.Sc.

Jamie Logie is a certified personal trainer, nutritionist, and health & wellness specialist. He holds a bachelor of science (B.Sc.) degree in Kinesiology from the University of Western Ontario, studied sociology and psychology at Western University and has a counseling diploma from Heritage Baptist College. He has run a blog and top-rated podcast on iTunes called "Regained Wellness". Jamie is also a contributing writer for places like the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, LifeHack and has an Amazon #1 book called "Taking Back Your Health".

 
Patrick Montgomery:
I believe it’s appropriate to say both “I’m sorry” and “Thank you” in the same situation, if applicable. For example, if you’re late to a meeting with me, you’ve just wasted some of my time and my time, as with everyone’s, is valuable and finite. I need to know you understand and appreciate this concept. Even if being late was beyond your control. Apologize. And then say “thank you for your patience and understanding” which will assuage my annoyance letting me know you appreciate my situation making it possible for a productive meeting without any attitudes or misunderstandings. Neither “thank you” or “I’m sorry” should be over used as a go to response unnecessarily. I understand this study is primarily geared to customer service, however, it appears your suggesting to use this “thank you” approach in social or other professional situations. Don’t. Regardless of what the study says, if somebody screws up my order and says the words “thank you” in their first response sentence to me instead of apologizing, I’m thinking they’re clueless and WTF?! What I won’t be thinking is; “Gee, that was refreshing and nice. This company gets it. I’m gonna tell everybody about this positive experience”.
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
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Main Site:
violetflame.biz.ly
Alternative to Google

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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 
 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 17:35
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