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Segunda-feira, 15 / 07 / 19

Sisu: The Finnish Concept of Inner Strength and How to Adopt It ~ Jamie Logie

Sisu: The Finnish Concept of Inner Strength and How to Adopt It.

By Jamie Logie.

July 14, 2019. 

 
sisu finnish inner strength.

 

 

You have more strength in you than you even realize, but how do you bring it out?

Sisu is a Finnish concept based on grit, bravery, and resilience. Sisu is all about having a real stoic determinism and is something that the people of Finland pride themselves on. We may call it “having a stiff upper lip“, but it goes much deeper than that.
This article will look at what Sisu is all about, and how you can adopt it for yourself.

What Does Sisu Really Mean?

I mentioned some of its traits, but we can see Sisu as the ultimate form of courage. It’s about what you do when your back is up against the wall and all the odds are against you.

It’s all about sticking to a course of action and not backing down no matter what adversity you face. No matter the odds you may be up against, Sisu allows you to not be overcome by them.

We can see a popular culture example of this in Han Solo in The Empire Strikes Back. When faced with certain doom from an attack by the Empire, Han Solo – with his back against the wall – takes the Millenium Falcon into an asteroid field.

Something that’s considered a suicide mission. He is informed by C3-PO that the chances of successfully surviving an asteroid field are 3720:1, to which Solo responds, “Never tell me the odds…”.

This is an easy way of looking at Sisu as it’s all about displaying courage in the face of overwhelming adversity – and insurmountable odds. 

How Long Has This Concept Been Around?

Sisu goes back hundreds of years and is one of the foundations of Finnish culture. It’s thought to be one of the best ways to understand what the Fins are truly all about. The country has always prided themselves in going beyond one’s own mental or physical capacity, and Sisu is what represents their people.
Sisu has been explained as the word that describes Finland and that “it’s the most wonderful of all their words“. This became popularized during the famous “Winter War” when the Fins were invaded by the Soviet Union. This occurred during 1939-40 and it’s when Sisu came to the forefront.
Time Magazine noted that the “Sisu” displayed by the Fins was all about tenacity. It was about the ability to keep fighting long after others would quit.
The Fins were able to take the war into Russian territory while at the same time withstanding brutal attacks by a reinforced Russian army. This allowed them to gain the upper hand as the Fins could fight in harsh conditions with no sense of throwing in the towel.
Sisu is all about bravery, bravado, and ferocity.

More Examples of Sisu

Sisu applies well to matters of war and battles, but is it something notable in a modern, non-military aspect? Most people forget that one of the biggest phone companies – Nokia – is actually Finnish. As the wireless phone market grew more intense, Nokia could hang on despite many odds being stacked up against them.
Nokia was constantly able to overcome many obstacles going into the mid-2000s and the “guts” they had displayed allowed them to stick around in the industry.
This was chalked up to the Sisu shown by Nokia’s executives. The CEO of Nokia noted how this unique Finnish quality allowed them to persevere and have endurance where other companies would falter.
We can see Steve Jobs as possessing Sisu as he refused to ever throw in the towel. He had an intensity and endurance that others couldn’t match. For Jobs, it was all about being relentless and not giving in to create the best products possible. No was never an option.
Even being forced to leave the company that he started only made him embrace this white-knuckle courage to push forward and come back stronger than ever turning Apple into one of the biggest companies in history.

Where Does Sisu Come From and How Do You Adopt It?

With the Fins, it’s considered having developed because of their harsh Nordic winters. To survive in an environment like that takes the ultimate in perseverance and courage.
But it’s also seen as a product of genetics, biology, psychological, and social factors. Some of it may be in you, but it’s also able to be nurtured through your environment.
This may be a social construct, but the concept of Sisu can exist in anyone. Some people have this “never give up” mindset from the day they are born – but it’s still possible to develop it.

It all comes down to your thought process and mindset.

If you grow up in an environment that fosters this approach, it will be easier for it to become naturally engrained in you. It may be the culture that allows Sisu to exist in you more than it is genetics.
This means you want to surround yourself with people who have these traits as they are more likely to rub off on you.
If Sisu is something you don’t think you have – and you want to adopt it – it means getting out of your comfort zone and exposing yourself to people – and situations – where resilience is common. Over time, you will embrace the qualities that allow you to persevere and not back down.

It also means retraining the way you think.

Your brain is like a muscle and it needs repetition to get stronger and more developed. Positive thinking – where you tell yourself to be determined and resilient – will eventually become second nature.
You need to catch yourself every time you doubt or second-guess yourself and remember that it’s just your mind telling you these things. You can train your mind, the problem is it’s we have bombarded it with negative self-talk because of the environment and culture we find ourselves in – so it takes work.
When you continue to reinforce the idea of Sisu in your mind, you will find that the perception of it has now become a reality.
References:
  1. http://www.bbc.com/
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/
  3. https://www.sciencedaily.com/
 
About the Author: Jamie Logie

 Jamie Logie is a personal trainer, nutritionist, and health & wellness specialist. Jamie also studied sociology and psychology at Western University and has a counseling diploma from Heritage Baptist College. He has run a blog and top-rated podcast on iTunes called "Regained Wellness". Jamie is also a contributing writer for places like the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, LifeHack and has an Amazon #1 book called "Taking Back Your Health".




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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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publicado por achama às 19:41
Segunda-feira, 24 / 06 / 19

How to Overcome Inferiority Complex with 7 Methods That Work ~ Sherrie.

How to Overcome Inferiority Complex with 7 Methods That Work.

By Sherrie.

June 23rd, 2019

 

Confidence equals good mental health, and that’s why learning to overcome the inferiority complex is so important.
Having an inferiority complex means you never really feel good about yourself. In fact, most other people in your life seem greater, more intelligent or more talented. Others may also seem beautiful as opposed to your ugliness.
Do these descriptions ring a bell? Well, learning to overcome the inferiority complex is the key to a better life. No one should feel less than anyone else.

Methods to help you change your mindset and overcome inferiority complex

 
Understanding how to overcome the feelings associated with inferiority complex should be your focus. In order to change your mindset, you have to know exactly what you’re facing.
The inferiority complex is not just feeling bad about yourself temporarily, it’s a feeling that persists from day to day – they’re negative feelings you’ve accepted about yourself.

There are methods, however, that help you get rid of these feelings over time:

1. Pinpoint one source

The truth is, you may feel inferior to many people. That’s the horrible nature of the inferiority complex. The good news is, you can focus on one person to help you pinpoint where your weaknesses are. For instance, choose a so-called “superior person”, and ask yourself one question: “Why do I feel inferior to this person?”
Analyzing the one person you picked will help you build levels of confidence. Say you feel that the person is more attractive than you, more intelligent, and more sociable. Well, you can start by finding one thing you can do that they cannot.
There are things, trust me, because no one is perfect. In fact, there may be many things you can do better, but you’ve just focused on your inferior state as opposed to their seemingly perfected one. Do you see? Try this one out as soon as possible. You may be surprised.

2. Positive self-talk

Most of the time, we can learn a great deal about how to get over feeling inferior just by talking good to ourselves. Be honest, how many times have you said, “I’m ugly”“I’m not good enough”, or “I wish I was more like someone else?” Well, I’m sure we’ve all fallen prey to these thoughts from time to time.
The key here is to practice countering these negative thoughts with positive ones. For each negative talk we have with ourselves, we should strive to have two positive ones.
Over time, you will notice a great change in your confidence level. And if someone happens to insult you, you will be armed and ready to defend your self-esteem.

3. Find the root

Of course, if you want to know how to destroy the inferiority complex, you must remember where it came from. Maybe you have no idea how the negative self-talk and feelings even surfaced. Well, if you experienced rejection or trauma in your early life, inferiority feelings may be deep-rooted and will have to be pulled out and examined.
You can start analyzing yourself or you can seek professional help in this area. Some roots, I must admit, travel deep within your mind.
Some of these roots go far and some are large, meaning they encompass multiple issues, situations and people from your past. This is where untangling roots also come into play. To heal your confidence, you must discover these roots.

4. Gravitate toward positive people

Another way to overcome feelings of inferiority is to surround yourself with as many positive people as possible. Being around positive people remind you of how you’re supposed to treat yourself. They remind you of your worth and talents.
If you’ve noticed, positive people usually don’t criticize others. Instead, they may lovingly point out ways to improve. On the other hand, negative people will always have a way to bring you and themselves down simultaneously.
It’s obvious what you should do in this case. Stay as far away from toxic behavior or negative people as possible.

5. Good mantras and proclamations

Not only should you talk good to yourself, but you should also proclaim your good points. When you feel inferior, speak a positive mantra about yourself.
For instance,  you may say, “I am talented”, and “I am kind”. This helps build you up by speaking your worth out loud. Whether you are spiritual or not, I’m telling you, the spoken word is a powerful thing. It truly is capable of turning things around for the better.

6. Always be yourself

If you’ve fallen victim to idolization, which we all do to a certain extent, then you should step back a moment. Immediately, stop all attempts to be like someone else, right now. After you feel clean of everyone else’s influence, fill yourself with yourself.
That’s right, embrace who you are, and examine all your good points. I bet, you have so much to be thankful for, and so many hidden talents. This simple move can boost your ability to overcome inferiority and other negative complexes.

7. Stop comparisons

That brings me to another toxic and heinous act we fall victim to – comparisons. It’s so easy to feel inferior when we compare ourselves with others. We should never ever do that.
So, for this last method, let’s practice working to better ourselves apart from anyone else. Yes, appreciate others and their talents, but never let those things decide who you should be. End comparisons now.

We can all feel better about ourselves

Learning how to overcome inferiority complex is no easy task, I will not lie. However, being able to accomplish this task allows you to open up to a multitude of possibilities in your life. The ability to be confident is a power that so few actually hold. In fact, the inferiority complex inhabits most of us on some level.
Regardless, we should try every day, to love and appreciate ourselves. We are the only one like us on the face of this earth. We have a mixture of unique talents and characteristics that the world surely needs.
I’m going to say you’re beautiful, talented, and worthy, to help you jump start your journey on defeating the inferiority complex, and also just in case no one else has told you lately.
Be well.
 
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au
 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 



About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 04:44
Quinta-feira, 20 / 06 / 19

9 Signs of a Truly Independent Person: Are You One? ~ Sherrie, learning-mind.

9 Signs of a Truly Independent Person: Are You One?

By Sherrie.

June 20th, 2019

 

Being an independent person doesn’t come from living an easy life. The trials of life make you stronger.

I get angry sometimes when things go wrong. I sometimes lose hope when past hardships repeat themselves over and over. But I think this happens because there is yet something we’re meant to learn. I also think these trials can make prosperous. This means, no matter how hard it gets, I know I can be an independent person.

How strong and independent are you?

Being an independent and strong person comes with a price sometimes. We build walls when experiencing hurt after hurt. The callouses that form over pain and abuse can also leave us a bit insensitive to the feelings of others.
However, that’s not how we all work, or how we should strive to be. Some of us become independent without losing the ability to open up. That’s the focus of our strength.

Anyway, here are signs that you could be an independent type of person. Or maybe someone you know has these traits.

1. You can live alone

Being independent means you can live alone. You don’t need the help of others to survive, and you always find a way to stay financially stable.
You also have no need for occupying the same spaces with other people, unless of course, you want to. You’re so good with yourself that living alone is actually preferable at times.

2. You’re a future planner

While many people say “live in the moment”, an independent and solid person will always plan for times to come. They see the big picture and not the temporary high of present fun and companionship.
I will say it’s good to enjoy each day, but it’s also important to save for the future. Independent people are perfectionists at planning for the future.

3. Saying ‘no’ isn’t hard

For some, saying no is difficult, especially if they are afraid of hurting the people close to them. For dependent people, saying yes, and going along with things is easier than mustering the strength to decline.
People of an independent nature can easily say no and not even give an explanation for their answer. They are bold and present an attitude that says, “I’m saying no just because I want to.”. Do you see?

4. It’s hard to ask for help

Asking for help isn’t hard for some, but for independent and stubborn people, they hate charity. To independent individuals, asking for help means weakness.
Being weak cannot be a part of their plans, for present or for the future. To them, it may even be a sign that they cannot make it on their own if they ask for help.

5. You have few friends

When you’re independent, you have fewer friends than most people. Truth be told, this is because you spend time with people expecting nothing in return.
Now, I don’t know how true this is for everybody, but many of those with many friends often expect favors and help. Since you’re independent, you only see friends as companions. Choosing your friends in this manner helps you realize who you truly appreciate and love.

6. You have an unshakable self-worth

When you’ve become an independent person, you won’t have to get validation from other people. No matter how many insults they use, you will still know who you really are. You will see your value, your beauty, and your loyalty, and nothing can change this.
Of course, there may be times when you’re shaken momentarily, but you bounce back. This helps you see the one who insults you for who they really are. You will know this independent individual by their resilience in the face of adversity.

7. You go out alone

Most of the time, you will go out alone. You love to shop for things alone because you can go and leave as you please. You even like to eat at restaurants alone sometimes.
Being alone in public feels good to you, and it doesn’t leave you empty. You don’t have to socialize with friends out on the town, but you can still have a conversation with people who are already there. It’s an interesting trait.

8. You can lead

When independent, you can take the lead and get difficult things done. You will notice both men and women taking charge of difficult situations, and this usually means they are pretty independent of others.
Sometimes men are intimidated by women who take charge, but unfortunately, this is because they are usually the dependent sort. Strong men aren’t intimidated, they rather help strong women succeed. This can be seen the other way around too but in a slightly different aspect.

9. You’re financially independent

Yes, we already know the independent sort are people who live alone, and they are also those who refuse help. Well, if, for some reason, an independent person just happens to owe money, say for car payments or other financed things, they will most certainly be on time and try to pay off the debt as soon as possible.
They hate owing people anything. It feels like independence is being taken away when you have to borrow money against something.

Being truly independent

There’s a reason people act the way they do. Some are born independent while others grow into these strong individuals because of past trauma or life-long hardship. They’ve learnedtheir own value and potential. An independent person is one of the most exemplary types of human beings to ever exist, and I attain to become more like this as I grow.
Are you an independent one? Do you strive to become more independent? If so, you must take heed if you wish to become more independent that you don’t lose your ability to feel emotions.
If you’re not careful, you can build walls while building your confidence and strength. Here again, as with many other aspects of life, I think balance is the key. So, go forth and conquer.
References:
  1. https://www.theodysseyonline.com
  2. https://www.lifehack.org

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 



About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.

 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 19:56
Terça-feira, 18 / 06 / 19

6 Things Messy Handwriting May Reveal about Your Personality ~ Sherrie.

6 Things Messy Handwriting May Reveal about Your Personality.

By Sherrie.

June 17th, 2019

 

I’ve seen all sorts of handwriting styles, large and small. Messy handwriting reveals many things about a person as well.
People write with pen and paper much less than they did before. So, you might say that messy handwriting isn’t a concern for teachers, friends, and employers. The popularity of technology has transformed the way we create stories and complete assignments. Whether professional or creative, our writing is mostly digital.
However, some people still pick up that pen, and when they do, their personality shines through their handwriting.

Messy handwriting and what it may reveal

My son writes in the messiest way. Sometimes you can’t even read what he’s written. He is left-handed, but that has nothing to do with it. In fact, I’ve asked him to switch hands, but it just gets worse. What does this say about my son?
We’re going to explore that and other characteristics he may share with others. So, what does messy handwriting say about your personality?

1. Intelligent

I can surmise that messy handwriting has a lot to do with more than average intelligence. What’s the proof? Well, my son remained in accelerated classes during his entire education. His grades dropped during regular classes because he was bored with the curriculum. He is smart and his handwriting is definitely messy, as I’ve mentioned before.
If your handwriting is messy, it could be that you have higher intelligence. If you’re not sure of your child’s intelligence level, maybe you can have them tested. Pay attention if you do have an intelligent child and notice if they have a messy sort of handwriting.
I will mention this, however, there are a few studies which suggest the opposite, that neat handwriting is linked to higher intelligence, so keep that in mind.

2. Emotional baggage

Many people who have messy handwriting can also be carrying emotional baggage. Often this writing is filled with a mixture of cursive and print letterforms, usually slanted to the left.
In case you didn’t know, emotional baggage is emotional hurts carried over from one person to another, or from one situation to a different situation in life. The writing shows the inability to let go emotionally. The words are just unsure.

3. Volatile or bad-tempered

A person who exhibits a bad temper will often write in a haphazard way. It doesn’t always mean they are quick to get angry, oh no. Sometimes it’s just that they carry anger inside until they have a violent outburst. Again, an example using my son, as he has a tendency to hold in anger until he explodes. This shows in his writing.
A bad temper can cause bad handwriting just because people with this anger disposition are usually impatient. With messy and rushed handwriting, we can see the strong emotions come through.

4. Mental issues

Messy handwriting can indicate that the person could have a mental illness. Often this handwriting will consist of switching slants, a mixture of print and cursive writing, and large spaces between sentences. I am sitting here right now looking at a page of my writing from last night.
I have multiple mental illnesses, and my writing shows my instability. I have also witnessed several others with mental illness who have the same sort of writing style. Now, I know it’s not set in stone, but it’s a pretty good indicator of some sort of connection between the two.

5. Low self-esteem

Have you ever noticed the handwriting of someone with low self-esteem? It’s strange and yet messy as well. Those with low self-esteem not only have messy handwriting but also have random loops and strange styles of capital letters.
People with low self-worth are insecure, and yet they are trying desperately to rise above the insecurity by purposely enlarging their letters as they write. As they attempt to do this, they also try to write in bubble letters.
This usually falls right back into messy and disorganized handwriting because it’s hard to hold onto the façade. I know this why? Because sometimes this is me.

6. Introverted

While this might not be true about everyone, it was true about my brother at one time. While my brother has changed and embraced some extrovert attributes, it’s usually in the online atmosphere I remember he used to write everything in these tiny messy sentences. You could barely read them although they were lovely and interesting if you succeeded.
Does he still write like this? I have no idea because most of his dictation is online. I do believe that introverts, like my brother, sometimes write in messy forms. Maybe his style hasn’t changed much.
I also believe introverts are intelligent and so this matches another aspect of messy and cluttered handwriting. As introverts stay at home a lot, they usually have less to prove to others, and so their handwriting is pretty much as they please.

Are you a messy writer?

Many of my family members have messy handwriting, and yet, my middle son has neat and beautiful handwriting. But that’s another topic altogether and for another day.
Remember, most of the attributes of your personality are positive when it comes to having a messy sort of handwriting, so you should be proud of your scribble. I’m okay with mine.
 
References:
  1. https://www.msn.com
  2. https://www.bustle.com
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 



About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.

 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 00:58
Domingo, 16 / 06 / 19

The Art of Constructive Feedback: How to Give and Receive It ~ Michelle L.

The Art of Constructive Feedback: 

How to Give and Receive It.

By Michelle L. 

Contributor writer to Learning Mind.

March 16th, 2019. 

 
constructive feedback
 

 

Few people are likely to raise their hands with an enthusiastic ‘me’ when it comes to receiving criticism. But those who are advocates of it know that constructive feedback is not only useful but also essential.
People don’t love feedback too much because they are unfortunate recipients of crippling criticism – the kind that makes them feel as though they aren’t able to do anything worthy. That outlook may change if they understand the difference between negative criticism and constructive feedback that helps them grow.

Telling the Difference Between Constructive and Negative Feedback

Giving criticism is integral to your role, whether you’re a parent or a manager who looks after the performance and welfare of staff. Many people feel that they have done their jobs as long as their children or subordinates receive some feedback. The raw truth is that criticism isn’t useful if it shatters the recipient’s confidence completely.
Delivery is the key, and the first step to doing so effectively is to understand the difference between constructive and destructive criticism.
People use negative feedback if their goal is to shatter a recipient’s confidence. Managers may tell their subordinates how poorly they’ve performed on tasks without providing evidence or reasons for their evaluations. Employees seldom understand why they’ve underperformed or know how to make improvements.
And there is a parallel to the home – parents who give negative feedback to their children may discipline their youngsters without telling them why they have earned harsh criticism.
Constructive feedback, conversely, instills confidence in an employee or child. Think about your favorite teachers when you were in school. They were probably the ones who knew how to point out the errors in your assignments without making you feel as though the topics assigned were out of your league.
Similarly, respected and competent managers are the ones who highlight the flaws in their employees’ performances without making them feel like complete failures at their jobs.

Why Constructive Criticism Isn’t Always Bad

Feedback in any form isn’t easy to swallow. Perhaps you need some convincing.
First of all, feedback tells people about your expectations and improves performance. Learning about their strengths increases the confidence of your employees. They gain the motivation they need to improve their skills and align with business objectives. The person who provides feedback also becomes proficient when doing it.
Furthermore, organizations invest considerable sums of money in finding talent. That said, employees have to spend a significant amount of time learning their roles and responsibilities. Feedback helps them with their work so that companies won’t have to find replacements.
Feedback improves trust. It creates a bond between parents and children. Most children understand that parents mean well when they make suggestions. If you are a manager, giving constructive, open feedback to your employees builds their rapport with you. It inspires loyalty.
A manager’s role is to offer feedback that encourages a staff’s development. It is vital that he or she does so on an ongoing basis and not only when performance reviews come around.

How to Provide Constructive Feedback

Constructive feedback is essential to get others to improve on their shortcomings, without causing ill-feeling or shattering their confidence. Here are a few tips to help you get started.

1. Be specific and focus on the problem

First of all, instead of merely telling people what they need to do better, explain why they need to make improvements. Saying “You need to submit work on time” and leaving the statement open assumes that recipients understand what the problem is. However, this may not be the case – perhaps the employee has never faced the ire of bosses before.
Also, never assume that people have the necessary background information they need. They may not understand how their behavior affects you or others. The more you focus on the problem, the more likely the recipient of the feedback is to address it.
If necessary, tell them how the situation affects you and the rest of the business. The more specific you can make your feedback, the more actionable it will be.

2. Don’t get personal

“Constructive” implies that feedback should focus on impartial observations instead of personal attributes.
“Your draft was poor” isn’t likely to get a warm reception. The recipient of the feedback will probably see it as a personal attack instead of an objective assessment, even if the work is not up to par. Focus on the problem at hand and not the person’s attributes.

3. Use the Sandwich Method

One essential key to making feedback palatable is to include positives with the negatives. It tells everyone that you have a balanced perspective.
Deliver feedback like you would serve a sandwich. State the positives, discuss problems, and finish off with more positive feedback to cushion any sting.
For example, you can tell a child, “You’ve improved your math test score.” Then discuss the areas that need improvement. “But the algebra needs some work.” It’s essential to finish off with, “You’ll become a math whiz in no time.”
You can use this approach if you’re addressing employees. Start with “You did an excellent job this quarter. Sales are up by 15%.” Then, discuss the problem areas.”Customers have mentioned that response times are a little slow.” Round off with “Overall; they are delighted with the work you’ve done.”
Be careful not to be too positive as you may come across as insincere; everyone needs to improve. The Sandwich Method of delivering feedback ensures a balanced perspective.

4. Be direct but informal

Try not to use technology such as email, text message, or the phone to relay your feedback, as this can lead to misinterpretation and make it seem less important than it is.
Don’t deliver feedback via text messages or emails unless circumstances entail otherwise. Using technology may lead to misinterpretation and cause people to dismiss it.
Have an honest chat with the person instead. Try not to beat around the bush because constructive feedback is most effective when delivered straight to the point.
Find a quiet meeting room where you can have an honest and informal one-on-one chat with the employee. At the same time, try not to beat around the bush; whether it’s positive or negative, feedback is most effective when you get straight to the point.

5. Show your sincerity

Make sure that your tone and manner matches your feedback, to avoid confusion. If it’s positive, make sure that your body language shows that you appreciate the person’s efforts. If the input is negative, use a serious tone to indicate that the problem needs addressing.
Again, remember not to address personal attributes to prevent blame assignation or fault finding.

6. Listen

To ensure that your feedback is constructive, allow recipients to respond. The response time is essential, especially if the criticism is negative. It shows them that you are genuinely interested in their interpretation of events and that you sincerely welcome their solutions.

7. Make it timely

Always try to give positive feedback when the employee’s praiseworthy achievement is still fresh in everyone’s memory. Give positive feedback when the achievement is still fresh in everybody’s minds, to ensure objectivity.
Timing is essential when delivering negative feedback. Again, it’s wise to cool off before addressing issues to ensure that you don’t color your feedback with emotion.

Receiving Negative Feedback

Feedback is a two-way street. We receive criticism as often as we give it; here’s how to accept input like a professional.

1. It’s never personal.

First of all, feedback isn’t personal if you deliver it constructively. It merely consists of impartial observations, whether in a business context or otherwise.
It doesn’t matter if the person giving the feedback is being mean or wishes you well. What counts is yourself and your reaction. Respond respectfully and with gratitude. Remember that you’re intelligent enough to discern if the person means well.

2. Ask for examples.

 
Most people try not to offend when giving feedback and therefore skirt around the issues at hand.
They try to be as polite as they can, which is excellent for removing the sting of negativity. However, you will need to provide details if you wish to get to the root of the issue.
 

 

Show that you’re not interested in fault finding but only in solving problems.

3. Get help.

A sure-fire way to show your interest in another person’s feedback is to ask for advice on improving your performance. Say, “I feel the same way as you do and would like to do better. Do you have any advice?”
When you acknowledge the truth of the feedback and ask for advice, you show your willingness to learn. The deliverer of the input is likely to respond with helpful counsel.

4. Share your progress.

You are likely to work on areas that need improvement if you respect the people who deliver the feedback. Share your progress with them and show them that you are willing to take the steps necessary to improve your performance.

5. Be a feedback mirror.

Remember that people make themselves vulnerable to criticism themselves when they deliver it; after all, no one’s perfect.
That may be why people are so rarely honest about what they think of others. Offer yourself as a partner in self-improvement, and you’re likely to become an agent of change.
Constructive feedback produces results without causing any hurt if delivered well. Try these the next time you are a deliverer or recipient.
 

About the Author: Michelle L.


Michelle is a freelance writer who loves all things about life. She has a broad range of interests that include literature, history, philosophy, human relationships, and psychology. When she is not busy writing her heart out, you will find her tinkering jazz tunes on her piano. She loves anything that helps her to grow as a person, including her pet terriers, Misty and Cloudy.


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publicado por achama às 22:26
Domingo, 19 / 05 / 19

How to Find Your Authentic Self by Asking These 5 Simple Questions ~ Kolyanne Russ

How to Find Your Authentic Self by Asking These 5 Simple Questions.

By Kolyanne Russ, Guest Author;

May 17th, 20719

 

find your authentic self.
 

 

Getting to know the authentic self that is hiding deep inside you is the first step on the long path of liberation.
Just think about it, if you dare. Your true self is hidden deep within you, covered by layers upon layers of opinions, expectations, and excuses. You are not what you think you are or what you’re expecting of yourself or how you excuse your behavior in front of yourself and others.
The sooner you let go of this well-practiced character you play, the sooner you’ll reach your authentic self. This is the person you’ll feel at home with, however flawed or afraid they might be. This is the person you’ll be able not to change, but to shape, mold, hone and improve.
Everything else would be a lie, and lies are heavy. Lies weigh you down like chains.

But how do you reach this person you’ve ghosted for so long?

Venturing inward is the best chance you have. Instead of keeping everything on the surface, dive deeper underneath. Introspection will help you break the ice and adjust your eyes to the dark. But make no mistake, you’ll need to go pass beyond what feels comfortable and safe.
You’ll need to start reflecting upon what you’re seeing there.
Self-reflection is looking the truth in the eyes and living to tell. It’s also a learning experience that allows you to discover who you are and what you want.
Self-reflection always leads to insight, thus contributing always new and accurate details to your once distorted self-image.

Getting to know your authentic self starts with these five open-ended questions:

1. What Are Five Non-Negotiable Values in My Life?

 
Being flexible and willing to compromise is a fine quality in a person, but even the best of us must draw a line somewhere. The things you are not ready to negotiate on are your non-negotiable values. They are your very essence, the foundations, and principles of your true being.
Do you know what they are?
Figuring out what matters the most to you will keep you on course through thick and thin. Not only in terms of moral fiber and integrity, no. Even more importantly, these non-negotiable values will help you stay empowered and in control of everything you need to reach your goal.
At the same time, they will help you discover your priorities in life.
So ask yourself this:
  • What about your life fills you with pure love and joy?
  • What are some of the qualities you admire the most?
Maybe you’ll say health, self-expression, and authority, or honesty, friendship, and family. To a lot of people, love, empathy, and faith are non-negotiable. For me, that’s creativity, beauty, and love. For you, it may be something very different, like success, diligence, and ambition.
There are no wrong answers here.

2. What Would I Do If I Couldn’t Fail?

 
The fear of failure masks our greatest desires.
Fear stands between you and your authentic self too, keeping you comfortably tucked in a bed of lies. This is your Netflix & Chill persona telling you that you are too fat to get up and start pursuing beauty. You can try, it whispers in your ear, but you’ll only end up embarrassing yourself.
This is your corporate self, telling you that you’d never succeed as an artist. Or your stay-at-home-mom fear, preventing you from seeking a career.
Terrified of failing, we often decide not to even try. This is why so many of us end up miserable in our private and professional relationships. Instead of seeking what we truly want at the cost of failure, we choose to settle for less. It’s so much safer there, where you cannot fail.
But what would you do if you were guaranteed success?
Whatever your instinct is screaming right now is what you really want from this life.
So what if you fail? You’ll not be the first nor last to lose hope and regain new strength. If you think about it, you have absolutely nothing to lose. Bruises will only make you wiser and closer to who you are. You’ll understand that success is not in succeeding, but in overcoming fear.

3. What Are the Experiences I Want to Have to Live My Dream Life?

Of course, life isn’t solely about collecting those crowning gems.
Though staying focused on your quest is admirable, you must take some time to recharge your batteries and recuperate your energy. This will help you appreciate your achievements more, which will, in turn, keep you energized and motivated enough to reach the end goal.
Do you know what else you must do from time to time? Self-reflect on the things you’ve done and the person you’ve become.
This is why what happens on sidequests may be even more important than all the obstacles you overcome while your eyes are fixed on the prize.
These are the experiences you go through alone or share with the people you love, only seemingly uneventful and unmeaningful. Like visiting Louvre or climbing the Mount Everest.
Your bucket list must be full of these and similar forgotten gems. Find some time to collect these too. They will keep you grounded and in touch with who you are even after you become a big shot with no time for life’s simple pleasures. Cherish them as priceless things they are.

4. What Is on My Schedule That Doesn’t Need to Be There?

 
Have you figured out who is your biggest enemy in life? No, it’s not fear. It’s time.
Whether or not you’ll fear the inevitable depends on you alone. This paralyzing, irrational emotion can be overcome with a shred of will, but time can never be stopped. The best you can do about it is not to be wasteful. Commit your time to two things – mindfulness and growth.
Mindfulness feels like breaking the clock, as it allows you to freeze the moment and savor every last bit of it. Growth on the hand is the closest thing we have to a time-defying spell. The more you grow, the longer you’re remembered. Grand people are immortal, like long-dead stars.
So think about what you’re doing with your time. Is it carefully managed in a way that nurtures your non-negotiable values?
Are there things on your schedule that you can abandon or cut back? Have you made promises for a couple of months from now that you will regret then? Are you giving away your precious time on toxic people? Be grateful for the time you’ve been given. Don’t throw it away.

5. What Am I Doing That I Don’t Enjoy, and What Am I Doing That I Love?

 
In discovering who you are and what you want, perhaps the most telling signs are the things you’re doing on a daily basis. The things you enjoy, you should keep. The things you hate, not so much. Day by day, they are taking you one step further from who you truly are.
Of course, not all good things are enjoyable. You cannot throw around self-reflection as an excuse for being a selfish partner of a bad friend. If you hate going to work, you shouldn’t quit just because.
Life is a fickle thing and you must discover the balance between your authentic self and a sufficient version of you.
If you look deep down and see that you’re afraid, look again. That’s your crooked self-beliefthat’s distorting your true image.
But to return to your last question on the path to self-discovery, use self-reflection to see what you love and enjoy the most. Let these things be something worth sacrificing for, an intrinsic motivation behind doing the necessary things you don’t enjoy very much.

Final Thought

Never give up on your authentic self in return for love and success.
An actor can only play a role for that long before losing all sense of who he is. Make honesty your non-negotiable value, live with no fear of your hidden flaws, embrace the experiences that make you vulnerable and exposed, and spend more time reflecting upon your choices.
But most importantly, do everything for a chance to do what you love.
Kolyanne Russ

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Kolyanne Russ is a relationship and love coach with a conscious and stress-free approach. She loves to empower and motivate people to live great lives and pursue their passions. She works with fabulous women to help them create a vision of their ideal relationship and gain the confidence to achieve it. Kolyanne also writes and shares educational and inspirational content on her blog at Pinch of Attitude.
Articles from guest authors who contribute their writings to Learning Mind.

 

 

 

 

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publicado por achama às 04:59
Domingo, 05 / 05 / 19

Feeling Inadequate? 7 Strategies to Silence Your Inner Critic ~ Sherrie.

Feeling Inadequate? 

7 Strategies to Silence Your Inner Critic.

By Sherrie.

May 4th, 2019


 

It’s easy to criticize yourself, especially when others criticize you too. Feeling inadequate is hard when rebuilding your self-esteem.
At least one point in our lives. We’ve felt inadequate. You know that voice, the one that says, “You’re not good enough”, “You’ll never find true love”, yeah, that voice.
Well, the truth is, its been around since your childhood. I bet you didn’t know that. Feeling inadequate came from some instance, most likely in childhood, where someone made you feel unloved or unwanted. Now, you feel the same way when dealing with your insecurities.
“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
-William Shakespeare

Dealing with the critic within

There’s a person within you that tells you the lies about your person. They aren’t nice, and they pull no punch when it comes to reminding you about your short-comings. Do you wish to silence this voice?

Well, there are some ways to deal with this critic within and stop feeling horribly inadequate. Then you can really live your life.

1. Roots, roots, roots…

So, as I mentioned earlier, your inner critic comes from some long-ago insult or abuse. It’s true.
Say, your parents told you, “You’ll never be worth anything unless you act like your cousin, Martha”. Yeah, that was an actual statement my mother said to me. I started feeling the sting of being inadequate almost instantly.
Maybe she watched my cousin get awards in school or maybe heard stories of her achievements, But it made me feel like a failure. Now, I do struggle with inadequacies, and it takes strength to fight.
Hey, look at your roots, then you will know it wasn’t you, but the one who insulted you. Maybe they felt inadequate by the way they raised you. Ever think about that?

2. Awareness is key

When you start feeling emotions of being inadequate, stop and realize one important thing. These are only thoughts. They do not rule your life, and you know that you’re better than what you give yourself credit for.
Question these thoughts and then attempt to turn them around as they come. Be aware of what passes through your mind, and filter it accordingly.

3. See the inner critic as a challenge

Understand, these feelings that you are inadequate will never truly go away forever. I know, that’s not such a positive idea, huh. But, all is not lost. You can think about it this way: You can use your inner critic to build yourself up.
When you think you’re lazy or someone has made this comment, use this to start moving, get in shape, and even improve your health. While insults about your laziness or weight gain are not nice, you can use them as a tool to better yourself.
Just try it and see how great it actually works.

4. Contradict the inner critic

Here’s an interesting way to combat the inner negative voice. For example, your inner voice says, “You’re ugly”. Now, that’s a statement many of us have heard in our lives at some point. Well, you can take this statement and word it in a way that says positive things about you.
Instead of saying, “Yes, I am ugly”, you can say, “ I may not be the most beautiful person in the world, but I am still beautiful”. This statement helps build you up and stand strong against those who make you feel bad about yourself.

5. Ask for help

Feeling that you’re inadequate can get overwhelming and sometimes make you want to give up. Don’t ever give up. In fact, start practicing self-care which will, in time, start to build better self-esteem.
If you have to, take pictures of your accomplishments or write in a journal about what you’ve done lately. Don’t ask others for help, ask yourself for help in order to feel good about yourself again.
You might be surprised by all the good qualities that remind you of your self-worth.

6. The inner critic lies

Did you know that the critic within will tell you lies? You cannot always count on the words that come from inside. If you’ve made a to-do list, but yet you aren’t able to get all those things done, your inner critic will jump right in with insults about your inadequacy.
Do not fall for these lies. Instead, tell yourself, “No, I did not finish today, but I am further than I was yesterday”. The truth is, this is just fine, and your inner critic can go get a life, so to speak.

7. Don’t be a slave to your inner critic

When feeling those inadequacies, do not become a slave to them. Just because your inner critic says you should do something better, this doesn’t mean you should act upon these words.
If your inner negativities tell you to get something done faster, take pause. Maybe it would be better to take your time and get the job done right. You can learn to do what YOU want and not listen to the monster that pushes you from inside.

The inner critic and your feeling of being inadequate

Never start feeling like you are inadequate just because that voice within tells you so.
Trust the true you, the one who makes you feel good about yourself. Yes, listen to this voice instead. This voice will make your stronger and quiet those negative thoughts that have tricked you into thinking you must be better than you are.
Remember, you are good enough just the way you are. Your improvements come by hard work and determination, but they also come by taking a break once in a while and recharging your energies. Just do your best and that will be enough.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://psychcentral.com
 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 22:56
Quarta-feira, 24 / 04 / 19

9 Signs of Superiority Complex You Could Have Without Even Noticing ~ Sherrie.

9 Signs of Superiority Complex You Could Have Without Even Noticing.

By Sherrie.

April 22, 2019


 

Many people have a superiority complex but just don’t recognize the signs. Now’s the time to see these imperfections as truth and improve.

Did you know that all of us have a certain amount of superiority? It’s just the few that let this part of us get out of hand. It’s called the superiority complex, a name penned by a man named Alfred Adler.
And here’s an interesting tidbit, Adler believed that the superior complex may be a way to deny the inferiority of an individual. You see, they are different sides of the same coin, but yet being superior may actually hide inferiority.

Recognizing the dysfunction

So, you can see how this becomes a balancing act. Feeling inferior and suffering superiority can be exhausting, but it must be done in order to live a productive life. Now, to start improvements in this area, you must understand the signs of this complex of superiority. Let’s examine these indicators:

1. Feelings of entitlement

The feeling of entitlement is hard to recognize in adults. This is because it came from a complicated childhood. For instance, a grandmother may give her grandchild all the material things he craves, but yet, may not give him the emotional and mental upbringing he needs.
Because of this, the child will grow to feel entitled to everything he wants. He wasn’t taught morals and standards, but yet, he was given everything. Do you see where this can lead to a spoiled brat with a lack of responsibilities?

2. “I” and “me”

Those with a superior type of complex will think in terms of themselves. When it comes to discussing events, situations, or relationships, they will center on self. I think another word for this condition is “self-centered”.
These individuals will always try to do better than others, and when they hear of someone’s accomplishments, they will try to do better and put themselves into the spotlight instead. If you see someone like this, realize, it’s more common than you think.

3. Making comparisons

Do you remember what I said about superiority being the denial of the inferiority complex? Well, this is true, and it shows when people make comparisons. When a person suffers from being too superior, they will often compare themselves to others. When others seem to be making more accomplishments, they will feel defeated. And, of course, this means, they must do something to change that.
Here’s an example: When someone has this complex, and they notice an achievement, they will often take up the same sport, hobby, or pastime in order to eventually do even better.
I’ve seen it happen first hand, and if you tell them that you notice, they will get angry andremain in denial. They like to say, “I’m just bettering myself”, which is good. But usually, you can make the connection and differentiate between the two.

4. Defy authorities

Many times, those who suffer from problems with superiority, will defy authority. They actually think they are above the law and can do whatever they please. Some of them think they will never be caught doing the wrong things. They are also secretive in friendships, with family, and in relationships.
All the social laws and constructs have no bearing on them. Some even think they could possibly be immortal. I know this is a bit far-fetched, but you would be surprised just how far their superiority will go.

5. Manipulation

Being able to manipulate is a common advantage for those who feel superior. They can use anger and threats to get what they want. It’s what those who feel entitled use as one of their greatest weapons. But manipulation isn’t just used during entitlement, oh no.
Manipulation can be used in connection with narcissism and unhealthy relationship issues. One of the worst areas of manipulation is when they use the guilt trip to make you feel bad for standing up for yourself.

6. Lack of empathy

People with a superior complex usually have no empathy for others. They don’t care for others or try to understand the situations of others. Their lack of empathy creates a cold and calculating individual who clearly feels better than others around them.
Their feelings and concerns are the only things that matter, and so, they will always come before others. For those whose intuition is strong, they will blatantly deny any truths targeted toward their superiority dysfunction.

7. Condescending behavior

An unhealthy amount of superiority may be the reason why your friend or loved one speaks or acts in a condescending manner. They may assume they are smarter in conversations and offer definitions for words they feel are too complicated for their group to understand.
They may gossip about others they feel are beneath them or refuse to associate with certain people – sometimes it’s low-income individuals which they avoid. There are many ways the condescending manner works for them.

8. Mood swings

Considering superiority is sometimes a cover up for inferiority, it would stand to reason that these feelings collide and conflict with each other. This struggle creates great mood swings. In one moment, they may feel better than others, and the other moment, they may feel far below other individuals. These mood swings can lead to depression.

9. Controlling behavior

Most of the time, those with a superior type of complex will want to be in controlFeeling out of control of any given situation is uncomfortable and sometimes even devastating. If they’ve lost control, they feel that they’ve lost their superior status. No longer can they call all the shots, and no longer are they the most important issue or person.

Turning things around

While it’s not easy to beat this complex of superiority, it is possible. Like I said before, it’s generally a balancing act. When you feel any of these characteristics with you, stop and ask why. Then work on reducing them as much as possible.
As for those you know someone with this complex, you can tell them what they’re doing and offer help and support. Then it’s up to them to decide to make that change. Take a little time and understand these points so you and your friends and family can benefit and even help others as well.
References:
  1. https://www.bustle.com
  2. https://news.umich.edu
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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publicado por achama às 17:57
Terça-feira, 23 / 04 / 19

21 Funny Comebacks to Use When Asked Awkward Personal Questions ~ Janey Davies.

21 Funny Comebacks to Use When Asked Awkward Personal Questions.

By Janey Davies.

April 21, 2019.

 
 
 
 
 

 


 

Have you ever been asked an awkward personal question and wished you’d had a choice of funny comebacks ready to use? Then let me help you!

We get asked personal stuff all the time. It’s when it makes us feel uncomfortable and on the spot that it would be really nice to have a witty response in our back pocket. Having a couple of readymade funny comebacks to bat across the net eases the discomfort.
It puts the ball firmly in the other person’s court. By using a clever response we are alleviating tension and focusing attention away from ourselves. Not to mention that we come out of the situation looking pretty witty. All of a sudden the tables have turned.
So, what kinds of situations are we talking about? There are universal topics that we all find awkward:

Awkard topics we don’t like talking about:

  • Money
  • Family
  • Sexual orientation
  • Weight
  • Having children
  • Getting married
Now let’s get to it. First up, what sort of awkward personal questions are we talking about? Secondly, what can we say that’s not too rude but will get our point across? The point being of course that whatever they have asked is none of their business.

Funny Comebacks When Asked about Money

Some cultures talk about money and how much they earn as a matter of national pride. Others most certainly do not. For example, British people find it hugely distasteful to disclose or even ask a person about their salary. So if you are asked:
“How much money do you make?”
You can reply in any of the following ways:
  • “It depends, are you talking about my drug trafficking ring or the gambling? Oh hang on, did you mean my day job?”
  • “Oh I don’t work, I live off my trust fund/won the lottery, why, do you need to borrow some money?”

Funny Comebacks When Asked about Family

Families, we don’t choose them, we can’t live without them. However, there are certain times during the year when we have to spend time with them. Christmas, Easter, religious festivals, we can’t get away from them.
As with all social gatherings, you get friction. Obviously, each family has its own dynamic and a particular set of problems, but here are a few common scenarios:
“Family is important, why don’t you come home more often?”
  • “Is it? Is that why you decided to have two different ones?”
  • “You do know MacDonald’s/Burger King opens on Christmas Day now?”
There’s also the question of children and siblings in the family.
“Can you babysit your sister’s/brother’s children?”
  • “Sure, if you’re okay with them learning about satanic rituals?”
“Your brother graduated from Harvard last month, what are you doing with your life?”
  • “You mean my degree in fine arts? I’m working in edible paints. When you’ve painted the picture you can eat it afterwards. Banksy is really interested.”

Funny Comebacks When Asked about Sexual Orientation

Why is a person’s sexual orientation anyone’s business but their own? But certain people; for example, relatives, school friends, work colleagues, seem to think they have a right to know. Well, if this is what they ask, here are some examples of witty comebacks you can use:
“You’ve got very short hair, are you a lesbian?”
  • “No, I’m not, but don’t take my word for it, ask your dad.”
  • “Busted, now if you’ll excuse me, I need to buy a pair of nice-looking men’s overalls and Dr. Martens.”
“Are you gay?”
  • “Sorry, I can’t give you a straight answer to that question.”
  • “I am, do you want to join?”
  • “Why, are you worried about that shirt?”

Funny Comebacks When Asked about Weight

I remember going to get some headache tablets from my local chemists and the pharmacist warned me not to buy certain ones as I was pregnant. I wasn’t. Moreover, I told her. You should have seen her face. She looked so guilty.
It was an honest mistake, but I went home and started yoga. Questions about weight can be devastating. Here’s what to say:
“Are you pregnant?”
  • “I’m not, but thanks for assuming someone would have sex with me.”
  • “No, but I am eating for two; me and my inner bitch.”
“You’re too thin for me.”
  • “That’s fine, you’re too thick for me.”
“Are you worried about all your weight gain?”
  • “No, I ate the last person that said a comment like that.”
  • “Okay, my thighs will slow clap you as I walk away.”

Funny Comebacks about Having Children

Bless those elderly relatives who think it is their business to interrogate their sons or daughters about having kids. If you dread visiting your in-laws because of the incessant questioning about when you are going to start having children, read on:
“When are you going to start a family?”
  • “Probably nine months after we’ve conceived them.”
  • “Why, are you offering to pay for them?”
  • “We’re not, we don’t want them to turn out like you.”

Funny Comebacks about When You Are Going to Get Married

This is another situation that people like to stick their noses in and rummage around for answers. A couple that is living together for a long period of time and has not yet proposed? What’s going on? We need answers!! Here is what you can say:
“When are you guys getting married?”
  • “Actually next week. Didn’t you get the invitation?”
  • “The same time as my partner.”

Remember That You Are Not Obliged to Answer Awkward Personal Questions

I hope I’ve given you some funny comebacks to use when people are asking you rude and embarrassing questions. But the main thing to remember if it all gets a little too personal, there’s no law that says you have to answer at all.
You can always say the following:
  • “I’d rather not say.”
  • “I prefer not to say.”
  • “Actually, that’s really none of your business.”
  • “I’m afraid that’s private.”
  • “That’s a personal question.”
  • “In this country, we don’t ask questions about sex/money/salary/etc.”
  • “I don’t feel this is the time or the place for that sort of question.”
However, I have to say, it is really satisifying to deliver a killer punch comeback when someone is deliberately trying to make you feel uncomfortable or nervous.
On that note, why not let us know if you have any funny comebacks you’d like to share!
References:
  1. https://www.redbookmag.com
  2. https://www.theguardian.com
 
 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

About the Author: Janey Davies.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
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publicado por achama às 08:32
Domingo, 21 / 04 / 19

5 Remarkable Examples of Animal Intelligence That Will Leave You in Awe. ~ Sherrie.

5 Remarkable Examples of Animal Intelligence That Will Leave You in Awe.

By Sherrie.

April 19, 2019


 

Animal intelligence could stretch to more than just an elephant’s excellent memory! As these examples will reveal.

The intelligence of animals surpasses what we realize. But the first question is, how is animal intelligence measured? There have been many experiments carried out that could prove animal intelligence really exists. We only have to look at Pavlov’s Dogs study to see how animals can quickly learn to associate a sound with behaviour or action.

But other, far more compelling research shows activity is more evident than we thought when it comes to the brains of animals.

Here are just a couple of impressive things that reveal animal intelligence at its peak!

Animals are spiritual beings

Of course, you heard that right. There is evidence to suggest animals can react emotionally to their surroundings. They can feel and respond to grief, e.g. in a death, and can express the wonderful feeling of existence itself.

Psychologists Marc Bekoff and his colleague Steven Kotler looked at whether animals really experienced spirituality. Bekoff and Kotler found ample evidence that animals can have a morally conscious and emotional intelligence.

Whilst Bekoff and Kotler’s work is anecdotal, Darwinian theory supports it well. The belief of Darwin was evolutionary continuity. This belief states that there were no different kinds of intelligence, only different degrees with the various species.

“The bottom line is that if we have something, they (other animals) do too. It would behoove us to study the questions at hand rather than dismiss them because animals can’t possibly do or experience something that we think is uniquely human.”

-Darwin

Only humans were self-conscious, linguistic, moral, and rational. This is what we believed for a long time. Now we know the truth. There’s more startling evidence as well. It seems that animals could possibly think about pains and pleasures from the past,

Darwin said. They actually possess “excellent memories and some power of imagination”.


Solving puzzles is just as easy for crows as 5-year old children.

Again, this could be the title of a well-thumbed kids’ comic book. But experiments recently conducted, and many of them, suggests truth in the crow’s intelligence. These are indeed creatures with remarkable talent, especially when it comes to solving problems.

The University of Auckland researchers discovered that crows noticed that liquid rises when objects are dropped into tubes of water, water which held a treat. They would then be able to reach the treat that was inside. If the water levels were higher, they could get the treat faster as well. Objects that sank instead of floated would also reduce the time it took for the treat to come to the top of the tube.

Crows can also bend a wire to fish treats from small tubes. This was also quickly realized by the research team. This is why researchers compare a crow’s intelligence is to 5-7-year-olds.

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Elephants can show empathy

An elephant never forgets, right? But, they can also seemingly show understanding and empathy. During controlled experiments, elephants showed their desire to work together with tasks. When learning to pull a rope to acquire a treat, they did this together instead of alone.

Contrary to what some may believe, elephants do not ponder long over the dead. They have been known to eat their dead or at least, sniff them and walk away. As for their reaction to remains, such as bones, an elephant may linger for a while or become aggravated for some unknown reason.

A recent study proves such behavior: When an African elephant sees a skull from its own kind, it stares longer than when rhino or buffalo skulls are introduced. It’s the same with sticks as opposed to ivory.

The elephant is smart enough to know the difference between something originating from their kind and something else entirely.

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Dogs can be taught words

We’ve all tried to teach Fido how to shake hands and Rover to cartwheel. But John Pilley, Psychology researcher, went a step further and trained his dog, Chaser to recognize over a thousand toys, by name. What’s more, over 90% of the time, Chaser could recognize certain toys when Pilley asked for them.

Chaser has learned even more, including recognizing verbs and nouns taught by Pilley Instructions are easy for her, she can put her paw and nose on objects, and even pick them up.

This is an achievement of intelligence for canines, and all it took was hours of intensive training. Chaser is special and not all dogs can learn at her pace.

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Picking locks are easy for Cockatoos

Finally, let’s learn about the cheeky Cockatoo. They too display animal intelligence enough to understand tricky puzzles and solve them, all for a delicious treat. A 2013 study by Alice Auersperg, revealed the difficulty of such puzzles, and that the bird actually has to first open the box. Here’s how the trick worked.

Inside the box was a cashew. So, the cockatoo had to pull out a bolt, remove a pin, take out a screw, turn a wheel, and removed a latch by using a sliding technique. All these things, the Cockatoo accomplished fairly easy.

Without opposable thumbs, as humans have, this did take a long time. It did take two hours for the Cockatoo, but eventually, the bird solved the intricate puzzle. A bird had a goal and completed the goal, a goal that wasn’t an easy and quick task. This says quite a bit about the bird’s perseverance, wouldn’t you say.

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I ACCEPT
Whilst this research can be contested, it could also lay the foundations for new ways of thinking about animal intelligence. Next time you spend time with your pet, maybe you can watch them more, and learn a few morals and lessons about determination.

References:

  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://news.nationalgeographic.com/
  3. https://www.dailymail.co.uk
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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publicado por achama às 22:13
Quinta-feira, 14 / 02 / 19

Signs and Causes of Compulsive Lying and How to Stop This Habit ~ Mariya M.

Signs and Causes of Compulsive Lying and How to Stop This Habit.

By Mariya M.

February 13th, 2019. 

 

 

 

At times, we can all tell a small white lie, but compulsive lying is a completely different animal.

People who have the habit of compulsive lying tell lies about the most random things. If you ask them what they did over the weekend, they might say, “I went fishing with some friends“. In fact, they sat at home and watched television. These people just cannot control their lies.
A person who has a habit of compulsive lying will give wrong answers to any question. The worst thing is that they do it for no good reason. They have no ulterior motives; people like this also have no special purpose to be realized by their falseness.
It’s very difficult to listen to a person who speaks to you and find out if he or she is a compulsive liar or not. This is simply because the lies which the compulsive liars tell are credible and absolutely probable.
Is it possible to identify a compulsive or a pathological liar? According to a study conducted by B.H. King and C.V. Ford of the Department of Psychiatry, the Hospital of UCLA, compulsive lying has a few indicators.

3 Signs of Compulsive Lying

 

1. The Stories Do Not Match

The most obvious sign of a compulsive liar is that their stories never match. They are always confused about their made up facts. A person who is prone to compulsive lying will often add detail to their lies, so the new lie is different from the one they started.
An intentional liar has a hidden aim and will, therefore, they will pay particular attention to remembering the very lies they have actually told earlier. A compulsive liar, however, is going to tell self-defeating lies.

2. No Limits

Compulsive liars are incessant. They will lie at every opportunity, even if it is absolutely unnecessary. Most of the times, their lies are harmless. But is it hard to believe a compulsive liar if they can tell the truth?
The main reason for this tendency to lie about all sorts of things is the fact that compulsive liars often do not realize they are lying. Sometimes they just cannot stop, even though they know they are lying.

3. Guilty As Accused

Compulsive liars often admit that they lie when they are confronted with enough facts. This is different from a deliberate liar who can still try to actually defend themselves. It truly proves that this kind of liar is quite fearless, with no regard for the consequences of their actions.
This often leads to the person confronting a stunned obsessive comptroller, since the confrontation also shows the absence of an ulterior motive. You cannot understand why the compulsive liar lied at all! The sad part is that even the compulsive liar has no answer to this question.

What Are the Causes of Compulsive Lying?

Certain central nervous system problems, such as epilepsy, infection and other issues, have been associated with the causes of this disorder. There is no precise pattern regarding gender – men and women are equally affected.
In fact, compulsive lying is a very miserable state because as soon as the liar has been truly exposed, almost everyone who knows you excludes you. However, if you ever see a compulsive liar in someone you know and care for, don’t be angry. Try and help them out of this instead.

How Can You Stop This Habit?

To admit that you have a problem is the first courageous step towards overcoming your compulsive lying problem. Asking for help is the second.
Psychotherapy, counseling or hypnosis therapy could help you to identify and address the causes of your lying addiction, and to stop lying in a short time.
As you begin to overcome the causes and habits of compulsive lies, you may notice an improvement in your relationships and a significant increase in your self-confidence. The truth is that people who have the habit of compulsive lying have very low self-esteem.
Equally important is good psychotherapy. Besides finding the ways for you to stop lying, a psychotherapist will also help you discover the cause of your compulsive lying issue so you can lead a more fulfilling and authentic life.
On your first visit, you can discuss your compulsive lying problem confidentially, ask questions, and decide if your psychotherapist is right for you. This first session will give the psychotherapist a good idea of the problems and help them understand what you want to achieve.
After the first session, they will tailor a treatment plan to your individual needs. It’s possible that the psychotherapist can control your patterns through hypnotherapy by altering your very habitual thoughts and reactions. In general, however, long-term treatment is not only recommended but also required.
Psychoanalytic psychotherapy is an extremely intense, perceptive treatment that requires honest commitment from you to address the issues, but it is very effective in solving the causes of compulsive lying.

Conclusion

People who repeatedly lie are not very easy to deal with, but they should not be labeled as evil or manipulative. Their lies can become compulsive for lots of reasons, often which are deeply rooted in problematic childhoods.
Compulsive lying issues can affect the lives of persons who tell the lies as well as those around them, thus the tips above are a way to deal with it effectively.
References:

 

 

 

 

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publicado por achama às 10:24
Quinta-feira, 14 / 02 / 19

3 Signs of Unhealthy Parental Pressure and How to Deal With It. ~ Francesca F.

3 Signs of Unhealthy Parental Pressure and How to Deal With It.

By Francesca F.

February 11th, 2019

 
unhealthy parental pressure.
 
 
 

Everyone feels parental pressure from time to time, but there comes a point when it becomes toxic and detrimental.

Parents are the ones who love and care for us most, and a little parental pressure is natural. They want us to succeed and become the best version of ourselves.


Yet, there are times when parents can be more hurtful than supportive. Some parental pressure is important to help us succeed and instill a strong work ethic as we grow. This makes it quite difficult to quite understand when parental pressure goes from encouraging to damaging.


We assume all that our parents do for us is positive because they are our parents and they love us. This article explores when parental pressure becomes too unhealthy and how we can deal with it effectively. 

1. Lack of self-motivation


The irony of pushing children to succeed is that it creates a paradox where children associate hard work with parental pressure. They then don’t develop a work ethic of their own because they are not working for a goal of their own, they are working to please their parents. 

This is detrimental to children as they age when parents are not there to push them. They lack sustainable motivation through further education and into their careers, reducing the chances of future successes.

Children under excessive parental pressure also become much more complaisant to their parents’ wishes. This replaces autonomous thinking and judgment, affecting their problem-solving capabilities and need for self-reliance. 

Overall, too much parental pressure can remove the child’s ability to look inward to find strength and motivation. This will end up holding them back in their future endeavors. 

2. Failure feels like the end of the world


Children who face unrelenting parental pressure begin to associate their identity strongly with their grades or the sport they play. If this becomes too entrenched in their personality, failing in academics or sport can cause their personality to fail also. 

This leaves children who face too much pressure from parents twice as likely to suffer from mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. 

3. Too good to be true


The worst effect of too much parental pressure is those who appear to be completely happy and successful. These children are actually hiding behind a false front and a fake sense of self. Teens who are forced to succeed throughout school will fail to develop a real sense of who they are as a person.


This will lead to an identity crisis in the future when they have less parental pressure to maintain the façade. 

Without real acceptance of who children are as an individual, they will be hard pushed to accept themselves. As a result, this can lead to a variety of mental health issues and recklessness as young adults. 
How to deal with too much parental pressure

As a child


If you are currently dealing with too much parental pressure at home and want to take the problem head on, it’s time to talk to your parents. Try to remain calm and ask your parents to respect your views at the beginning of the conversation. Parents are much more likely to take on the opinions of their child when the conversation is approached maturely. 

Be clear on your points and know the clear points you want to make, but don’t forget parents need a little reassurance, too. If you need them to back off a little with regard to academics, reassure them you will not allow your grades to slip. If you have an alternative idea for a university course or wish to defer a year, research all of your options and present them with evidence of your alternatives. 

Showing that you are mature enough to understand your own decisions and accept their consequences will garner respect. Thus, you will find your parents will be much more accepting of your views.


Be willing to compromise a little. Allow them to monitor grades or take part in research with you. Ultimately, parents just want to be involved in ensuring the best path for their children. Allowing them to have input will help them feel as though they are helping you along your path

As an adult


If you suffered from too much parental pressure as a child and are suffering the effects as an adult, it’s important to understand where it is that you suffer. If your self-esteem has taken a hit, or you’re not entirely sure who you are as an individual, take some time to find things you enjoy. Create successes in finding new things and finding what you’re good at. 

Where your work ethic may be lacking, it is still possible to strengthen it. Practice working alongside rewards to build motivation and concentration. 

Child-parent relationships can be incredibly complicated. It is a careful balance between support and encouragement, both of which can easily slip into babying and pressure. 

Asserting yourself to a parent can seem scary, but it is all part of growing up. Parents are doing their best to raise their children. Sometimes they need a little input from their child to help them parent correctly.
 
References:
  1. https://nationalpost.com/
  2. https://psychcentral.com/

 

 

 

 
 

About the Author: Francesca F.

Francesca is a freelance writer currently studying a degree in Law and Philosophy. She has written for several blogs in a range of subjects across Lifestyle, Relationships and Health and Fitness. Her main pursuits are learning new innovative ways of keeping fit and healthy, as well as broadening her knowledge in as many areas as possible in order to achieve success.
 
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 



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If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 09:41
Segunda-feira, 11 / 02 / 19

3 Signs of Unhealthy Parental Pressure and How to Deal With It. ~ Francesca F.

3 Signs of Unhealthy Parental Pressure and How to Deal With It.

By Francesca F.

February 11th, 2019

 
unhealthy parental pressure.
 
 
 

Everyone feels parental pressure from time to time, but there comes a point when it becomes toxic and detrimental.

Parents are the ones who love and care for us most, and a little parental pressure is natural. They want us to succeed and become the best version of ourselves.


Yet, there are times when parents can be more hurtful than supportive. Some parental pressure is important to help us succeed and instill a strong work ethic as we grow. This makes it quite difficult to quite understand when parental pressure goes from encouraging to damaging.


We assume all that our parents do for us is positive because they are our parents and they love us. This article explores when parental pressure becomes too unhealthy and how we can deal with it effectively. 

1. Lack of self-motivation


The irony of pushing children to succeed is that it creates a paradox where children associate hard work with parental pressure. They then don’t develop a work ethic of their own because they are not working for a goal of their own, they are working to please their parents.

This is detrimental to children as they age when parents are not there to push them. They lack sustainable motivation through further education and into their careers, reducing the chances of future successes.

Children under excessive parental pressure also become much more complaisant to their parents’ wishes. This replaces autonomous thinking and judgment, affecting their problem-solving capabilities and need for self-reliance.

Overall, too much parental pressure can remove the child’s ability to look inward to find strength and motivation. This will end up holding them back in their future endeavors. 

2. Failure feels like the end of the world


Children who face unrelenting parental pressure begin to associate their identity strongly with their grades or the sport they play. If this becomes too entrenched in their personality, failing in academics or sport can cause their personality to fail also.

This leaves children who face too much pressure from parents twice as likely to suffer from mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. 

3. Too good to be true


The worst effect of too much parental pressure is those who appear to be completely happy and successful. These children are actually hiding behind a false front and a fake sense of self. Teens who are forced to succeed throughout school will fail to develop a real sense of who they are as a person.


This will lead to an identity crisis in the future when they have less parental pressure to maintain the façade.

Without real acceptance of who children are as an individual, they will be hard pushed to accept themselves. As a result, this can lead to a variety of mental health issues and recklessness as young adults.
How to deal with too much parental pressure

As a child


If you are currently dealing with too much parental pressure at home and want to take the problem head on, it’s time to talk to your parents. Try to remain calm and ask your parents to respect your views at the beginning of the conversation. Parents are much more likely to take on the opinions of their child when the conversation is approached maturely.

Be clear on your points and know the clear points you want to make, but don’t forget parents need a little reassurance, too. If you need them to back off a little with regard to academics, reassure them you will not allow your grades to slip. If you have an alternative idea for a university course or wish to defer a year, research all of your options and present them with evidence of your alternatives.

Showing that you are mature enough to understand your own decisions and accept their consequences will garner respect. Thus, you will find your parents will be much more accepting of your views.


Be willing to compromise a little. Allow them to monitor grades or take part in research with you. Ultimately, parents just want to be involved in ensuring the best path for their children. Allowing them to have input will help them feel as though they are helping you along your path

As an adult


If you suffered from too much parental pressure as a child and are suffering the effects as an adult, it’s important to understand where it is that you suffer. If your self-esteem has taken a hit, or you’re not entirely sure who you are as an individual, take some time to find things you enjoy. Create successes in finding new things and finding what you’re good at.

Where your work ethic may be lacking, it is still possible to strengthen it. Practice working alongside rewards to build motivation and concentration.

Child-parent relationships can be incredibly complicated. It is a careful balance between support and encouragement, both of which can easily slip into babying and pressure.

Asserting yourself to a parent can seem scary, but it is all part of growing up. Parents are doing their best to raise their children. Sometimes they need a little input from their child to help them parent correctly.
 
References:
  1. https://nationalpost.com/
  2. https://psychcentral.com/

 

 

 

 
 

About the Author: Francesca F.

Francesca is a freelance writer currently studying a degree in Law and Philosophy. She has written for several blogs in a range of subjects across Lifestyle, Relationships and Health and Fitness. Her main pursuits are learning new innovative ways of keeping fit and healthy, as well as broadening her knowledge in as many areas as possible in order to achieve success.
 
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 



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No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 09:31
Segunda-feira, 04 / 02 / 19

5 Causes of Guilt and Shame You May Have Never Considered and How to Cope. ~ Janey Davies.

 

5 Causes of Guilt and Shame You May Have Never Considered and How to Cope.

By Janey Davies.

February 2, 2019.

 
 
 
 

 

It’s quite normal to feel guilt and shame if you’ve done something wrong. But what other reasons are there to cause these emotional reactions?

Guilt and shame are natural reactions to a feeling of wrongdoing, but they are slightly different. Guilt is how we feel when we have done something wrong. It is all about our actions, what we do or say. Guilt is ‘I did something bad’.
Whereas shame is how we feel about ourselves, the feeling of being wrong. Shame is ‘I am someone bad’. So what are the kinds of things that make us feel guilt or shame?
There are lots of things that can cause a person to feel guilt. You can lie, cheat, steal or even harm another person. Guilt is an extremely common emotion.
In fact, a recent study concluded that 96% of women suffer from guilt at least once a day. Not only that but this feeling of guilt and shame is having a destructive effect on our mental health.

So what are the unlikely causes of guilt and shame you may never have considered?

 

5 Causes of Guilt and Shame

 

1.Saying no

Who would have thought that simply saying no to a person would cause us so much grief? But it is right up there in what makes us feel guilty. But why does it affect us in this way so much?
Well, first of all, it affects women more than men and this is because women are taught from an early age to be polite and accommodating to others. So when we go against this ingrained imprinting it feels incredibly alien to us. And it is this that causes us to feel guilt and shame.
But obviously, people cannot agree to every request or favour put their way, so how can you say no without appearing to be the Wicked Witch from the West?
The answer is to buy yourself some time and not be pushed to say yes or no on the spot. Say something like ‘I’m not sure whether I can that day/afternoon/evening but let me get back to you.’ Then if you can’t or don’t want to do it, say no. After all, you are not Superwoman.

2.Not spending enough time with your parents/children

We all wish we had more time to spend with loved ones, but in today’s busy society, sometimes this just isn’t possible. But if it is causing you to feel heartfelt anxiety and problems, you need to be able to deal with your situation. Many parents worry about not spending enough time with their own parents and their children.
So how do you get the balance right? Unfortunately, we have to work to pay the bills, but if you are at work, worrying about your kids, your work is not getting the best out of you. In the same way, if you are at home worrying about work then you are not present for your kids.
Make sure when you are with your children you are 100% with them and not thinking about work. Likewise, when you’re at work give it your full attention. As for your parents, remember that they were also parents and will understand you have a busy schedule. It’s likely they understand more than you give them credit for.

3.Not being perfect all the time

Some people strive for perfection. Whether it is in their careers, their relationships, their homes or their educations. But I have it on good authority that there is no such thing as perfection. In fact, the celebrated writer on common sense, GK Chesterton said:
“If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly.” GK Chesterton
And I always follow his advice. The thing is, you can get so caught up in the details of getting a thing perfect that you miss out on the fun of it altogether. And remember, your perception of perfection is likely to be different from everyone else.
So while you are killing yourself to achieve this impossible goal, everyone around you might not even think you’ve achieved it by their ideals and standards. So what really is the point?
Just relax and enjoy yourself. There are no gravestones that say ‘Her house was really clean all the time’ on them. They all read ‘She was loved and will be greatly missed.’ And at the end of the day, that is what’s important to be remembered for.

4.Not losing enough weight

There’s a lot of body-shaming going around these days. Sly remarks about a person on social media. Photographs with cruel taunts about a person’s shape. Anyone over a certain dress size that is trying to lose weight will already know how hard it is to get the pounds off.
But being the subject of name-calling is enough to cause feelings of shame where the person doesn’t think that they are good enough in the first place.
Life is hard enough for people over a certain weight anyway. They face stares of disapproval whenever they go out. They can’t find chairs large enough on public transport and clothes shopping is a constant nightmare. This feeling of guilt and shame that they are not doing enough to get the weight off follows them around all the time.
But obesity is not about a person being lazy or eating too much. There are mental issues involved such as addiction to food or using food as a comfort. But this is about making a decision. If you want to change, you have to get help because this is too difficult for you to do on your own.

5.Always being late

Finally, I have to admit that this is something I struggle with all the time. I am always late.Actually, that’s not true. I’m never late for my birthday. Which goes to show what a selfish person I am. Because for every other date or appointment – I am always late. And it kills me every time.
But I don’t change my habits. I don’t leave earlier to beat the traffic. And I certainly don’t suss out the car parking situation so I know where I need to go. I am always rushing at the last minute and I always arrive flushed, panicking, out of breath and feeling guilty.
So why don’t I change? Is it because I don’t value other people’s time as important enough for me to make an effort? Or is it because I have plenty of time I simply assume other people do as well? Or am I just lazy? Sadly, I suspect it’s the latter.
What causes you to feel guilt and shame? Why not let us know in the comments box? We’d love to hear from you.
References:
  1. https://www.mirror.co.uk/
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/

 

 

 

 

 

About the Author: Janey D.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
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publicado por achama às 02:32
A Luz está a revelar a Verdade, e esta libertar-nos-á! -Só é real o AMOR Incondicional. -Quando o Amor superar o amor pelo poder, o mundo conhecerá a Paz; Jimi Hendrix. -Somos almas a ter uma experiência humana!

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