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Terça-feira, 05 / 05 / 20

Why Intellectual Humility Is Important and How to Develop It

Why Intellectual Humility Is Important and How to Develop It

Lottie Miles, M.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted May 5th, 2020.

 
intellectual humility.

 


We are all inclined to believe we know and understand more than we know. However, as the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates was well aware, what we think we know is not really knowledge at all. We may well want to cling stubbornly to our beliefs and believe we are more correct than others. But people who practice intellectual humility are better listeners, learners, and more self-aware. So what is intellectual humility and how can it be developed?
In this post, we will explore what it means to be intellectually humble, why intellectual humility is important, and how to develop it.
What is intellectual humility?
Intellectual humility means recognizing that the things you believe dearly could actually be wrong. Unlike general humility, it is not centered on having a low view of one’s own importance or a lack of confidence. Rather, it is a way of thinking.
At its heart, it incorporates accepting the possibility that what you think might be wrong. In addition, to be intellectually humble, you must be keen to learn from the experiences of others.
Intellectual humility demands for you to think about your own limits. This trait is classically important in the ideal application of the scientific method. Here, you are expected to actively test against one’s own hypothesis in order to ensure it is robust. In recent years, the concept has received growing attention amongst social psychologists with the loss-of-confidence project. This project aims to de-stigmatize admitting a loss of confidence in your own research results.

Why is intellectual humility important?

So why is it important to be able to admit we could be wrong about what we think? Well, for one thing, it will make us less defensive when challenged about our beliefs. This approach also forces us to think about our blind spots, opening up new lines of inquiry we may not have seen before.
Porter & Schumann’s study found that intellectually humble people are better at listening to opposing views. This makes them more likely to seek out information challenging to their own world-view and question evidence more carefully. Kross’s study confirmed this, finding the intellectually humble were more likely to be wise.
Intellectual humility is important because it demonstrates the promotion of arrogance and overconfidence prevalent in our society is foolish. When we recognize we could be wrong, we listen more to others. We can learn more from those we might have instinctively disagreed with offering benefits for scientific robustness.
We can also learn more than we thought possible with an un-fixed approach to knowledge. Indeed, being intellectually humble can enhance our drive to succeed and openness to new ideas. It frees us from a focus on our potential to be wrong necessarily being bad. Being wrong is inevitable! Breakthroughs in knowledge are only possible when we see things differently than we saw them before.

How can you develop intellectual humility?

If our ignorance is invisible to us, then how can we become aware of it? The author Shane Snow, devised an intellectual humility test to measure where you stand on 4 key areas of importance for the intellectually humble. There are 4 areas we need to work on in order to develop intellectual humility. Here, we outline what these are and how you can develop intellectual humility in each:

1. Respect for the viewpoints of others

To succeed in this, you should try to recognize the moral underpinnings of the viewpoints of others. Try to empathize with what they tell you. You can even try engaging in more playful ways with someone you wouldn’t usually. This will reduce your fear of them and their positions. Living abroad, learning new languages, and reading broadly are also great ways to increase your intellectually humble skills in this area.

2. Fostering a lack of overconfidence our own intellectual ability

Looking at the math that shows how groups can become greater than the sum of their parts by valuing diverse perspectives within them. You can easily practice this skill by actively saying ‘I might be wrong’ after expressing a strong viewpoint. Feel confident to admit when you don’t know something. This can help us be more empathetic and understand why we need it.

3. Separating our ego and our intellect

To improve your intellectual humility in this area, you should get to know your strengths and weakness when it comes to your personality traits and ego. Try to recognize when you react personally to viewpoints that challenge your own. By identifying your emotional responses, you can become more objective and open to listening. You may even seek out ego death.

4. Being willing to revise our viewpoint

Being truly intellectually humble requires us to respect the viewpoints of others. To develop this skill, we can practice actively revising our viewpoint. How could we think about what we believe differently? Can you unpick a fundamental belief you hold? Envision yourself as someone with a diametrically opposed view to your own. Try to think of what they would argue and you might see some of your invisible blind-spots.
Being intellectually humble requires us to listen more and talk less. It requires us to be empathetic to others, and be less emotionally attached to our own viewpoints. When we open our minds to water others have to offer, we can take the first steps to improved understanding and wisdom.
References:
  1. https://www.smithsonianmag.com
  2. https://plato.stanford.edu
  3. https://hbr.org


 

 

Lottie Miles

 




 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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publicado por achama às 22:23
Segunda-feira, 20 / 04 / 20

5 Signs the Proud Person in Your Life Is Just Arrogant.

5 Signs the Proud Person in Your Life Is Just Arrogant.

Lauren Edwards-Fowle,

M.Sc. & B.Sc.

learning-mind.com

Posted March 19th, 2020.

 
 

 

Pride is the great quality of appreciating your successes and having confidence in your endeavors. However, when does pride become toxic and become a manifestation of arrogance? Could the proud person you know be just conceited? Do you sometimes feel that your significant other isn’t proud but has reached the tipping point of becoming arrogant?

What is the difference between pride and arrogance? Let’s take a look at how to work out whether a proud person is just conceited.

Defining pride:

The dictionary defines pride as:
“Feeling self-respect or pleasure in something by which you measure your self-worth; or being a reason for pride.”
Feelings of pride reflect your emotions arising from an accomplishment. Feeling proud of yourself is linked to an achievement or success that has rewarded your efforts with positivity.
Pride doesn’t just relate to yourself; you can be proud of others or proud of group achievements. It connects with other feelings, such as honor, dignity, and self-respect. Pride is justifiable and has an identifiable reason.
Confidence is not a bad trait, and being proud of your successes can lead to improvements in self-esteem. The problem, of course, comes with overwhelming pride, and when confidence eclipses those positive character traits and becomes arrogance.

Defining arrogance:

Arrogance is not the same thing as pride; a proud person is not necessarily conceited. Being arrogant is similar to other negative perspectives:
  • Vanity
  • Conceitedness
  • Selfishness
  • Disrespectfulness
An arrogant person believes himself or herself to be superior to others, whether or not they have a logical reason to think so. They consider themselves more valuable, their contributions more important, and have excessive expectations of their abilities.
This leads to dominance, an elevated impression of a person’s talent, and a lack of regard or respect for other people around them. Conceitedness is not justifiable, is not necessarily linked to any achievements or successes, and applies only to that person’s opinion of themselves.

Signs that a proud person is just arrogant

1. They demand to be the center of attention

People who have achieved great things have every right to be proud. However, talent speaks for itself, and sometimes the most successful people shy away from the limelight. A conceited person will insist on being the center of attention at all times.
This can manifest as:
  • Talking over people in conversation
  • Raising their voice to be heard, or drowning out others
  • Turning every subject around to talk about themselves
  • Having a dominant personality
  • Refusing to let anybody else make decisions

2. They feel threatened by other proud people

Somebody who has much to feel confident about will welcome interesting conversations, personal challenges, and meeting new people. If you are confident in yourself and have a healthy level of self-respect, it is unusual to feel intimidated by others.
An arrogant person will often feel ‘at risk’ when confronted with other people who, perhaps, would be able to spot the flaws in their persona and contradict their boasting of accomplishments.

3. They are often irritated or annoyed by people they perceive as weak

Selfish people don’t have much time for others, and will usually try to surround themselves with a social group they consider to be their peers. Conceited people also often attempt to ingratiate themselves with connections with greater achievements than their own, either to gain a higher social status or because they believe themselves to be on a par.
Likewise, an arrogant person will find quieter people or those they consider to be weak an annoyance. They do not have empathy, will not be willing to spend any time with people who don’t further their objectives, and will quickly become frustrated and annoyed.

4. They always believe themselves to be right

Vanity means believing your ideas, suggestions or thoughts to be far superior to those that anybody else could come up with. Arrogant people are uncompromising and extremely difficult to work and live with.
Have you ever seen somebody watching an expert on the news, or viewing a professional sports event, and insist that they know better, or could have done a better job? That is an example of excessive pride, whereby a person truly thinks his or her power of thought, and physical performance is better than anybody else’s – no matter how much evidence there might be to the contrary!

5. They have no respect for other people

If people have an extremely high opinion of themselves, they probably don’t have much room in their psyche for considering anybody else.
A person with excess pride will often show this in lots of small ways, which can conclusively point to their lack of respect for other people:
  • Always being late
  • Never doing a favor for anybody else
  • Having high expectations from the people in their lives
  • Being unwilling to show any generosity
  • Speaking over people
  • Putting the phone down without saying goodbye
  • Interrupting constantly

Conclusion

Being proud and confident are not bad qualities to have. Everybody should feel a sense of pride when they have achieved something difficult, or shown resilience and forbearing. However, arrogance is something quite different, and spending a lot of time around it can be draining.
If you think that the proud person in your life may be arrogant, perhaps now is the time to address the problem. They may not realize that their behaviors have gone too far, and being conscious of how they come across could be a wake-up call to reel in the temptation to dominate every relationship.
An innately conceited person might not be capable of change, in which case the best thing to do is to consider your capacity to manage and cope with their personality. If it is harming you, and you constantly feel exhausted by having to make up for their bad behavior, it may be time to start putting yourself first.

 

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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publicado por achama às 00:39
Quarta-feira, 11 / 03 / 20

What Is Etheric Body and How to Clear and Strengthen It.

What Is Etheric Body and How to Clear and Strengthen It.

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

March 10th, 2020

 

 
 
Being an introvert is never easy. It’s exhausting to go about your day sometimes. Communication problems plague every conversation. Every interaction brings up thoughts of self-doubt, self-consciousness and more often than not, fear of embarrassment.
 
Of course, not every introvert has social anxiety. However, even the most socially confident introverts find too much interaction to be a struggle. When you’re the type to thrive alone, conversational problems are common just for lack of practice or natural communication ability.
 
Communication Problems Introverts Have
 
Being Honest About Your Feelings
 
Most introverts also happen to be people pleasers. This means you never want to upset anyone, say “no” or let others down. This communication problem tends to be caused by a fear of rejection or the wrath of others.
 
Have you ever been to a restaurant and had the wrong meal delivered? How about booking a seat at the movies, only to find someone else sitting in it? If you’re lucky, you have a more confident friend who sorts these issues for you, so you don’t have to.
 
These are the kind of interactions introverts shy away from, for a number of reasons. Introverts don’t want to embarrass or hurt others. Introverts are very empathic, so we understand that, usually, someone has just made a mistake and we don’t want to cause them any upset. Finally, we tend to avoid conflict situations.
 
You might also suffer from an inferiority complex, leading you to feel like your place in the world isn’t as important as others. This means we avoid being honest because we don’t think we matter. There is also the deep fear that they’ll argue back, and that’s the last thing an introvert needs. Intense interactions are incredibly draining on the energy and require a lot of self-confidence that some introverts don’t have.
 
How to overcome it:
 
The best way to overcome this communication obstacle is to work on your own self-confidence and self-worth. As you learn and begin to believe that you’re worthy of having your needs met, you’ll be more willing to stand up for yourself. You’ll never let others push in line ahead of you again, once you see that you deserve to be respected and listened to.
 
Accepting Praise and Compliments
 
Introverts struggle to take compliments and enjoy praise when it’s being given out. There could be several causes behind this communication problem. At times, it can seem like you’re just being humble, but it’s a chronic issue.
 
One of the hardest things for an introvert to do is be the center of attention. All eyes on us feels terrifying. We’d rather fly under the radar, but compliments and praise bring all the attention on us alone. Then our own self-doubt creeps in and we start to wonder if they’re exaggerating, or even playing a cruel joke. The chances of them being genuine and us actually having done something well seem so low.
 
We also worry that we have to say something heartfelt in return, and not mess it up. Digging deep is hard to do on the spot, but we feel under pressure to give them something good in return.
 
How to overcome it:
 
To overcome the fear of compliments and praise and get over this communication problem for good is again to believe in yourself. People don’t give compliments as cruel jokes, that kind of awful behavior only happens in movies.
 
It’s okay to want to humble when accepting praise, but a gentle “thank you” will go a long way. Instead of deflecting to the age-old “oh, it was nothing”, try to enjoy the idea that someone noticed and appreciated something you did.
 
Being Heard in Large Groups
 
More often than not, an introvert doesn’t want to be heard in groups. We’re happy to sit back and watch others chat away without really being noticed. This becomes a problem when you do have something to say, but you aren’t the type to demand attention from the crowd. Speaking up in a loud, confident voice isn’t a skill most introverts have.
 
In situations like a meeting at work, or a group talking about something you really care about, being quiet doesn’t pay off. You want your views to be heard, either because it’s important or because you just want to join in.
 
How to overcome it:
 
Overcome this communication problem by standing your ground. Your voice is important and, believe it or not, others will want to listen. Just as you’re happy to listen to what your friends or co-workers have to say, they’ll do the same for you. Trust me.
 
You could try having a sort of confidant, who will open up a space for you in the conversation if you aren’t confident (our loud) enough to jump in yourself. Never give up trying to be heard, even if you have to restart a few times.
 
Handling Invasive Conversations
 
Sometimes, people who aren’t super close to us try to get too deep too soon. There’s nothing an introvert loves more than a deep, hearty conversation, but only with someone they’re very close to.
 
When unfamiliar people push those boundaries, we tend to clam up. We don’t know what to say so often we just mumble our way through and escape as fast as we can. We don’t want to seem rude or make a fuss over a subject that is sensitive to us but may seem small to others.
 
There is hope though, this communication problem is fixable. Standing up for yourself is hard as an introvert, but you deserve to feel comfortable. As long as you understand that, you’ll never have to feel uncomfortable again.
 
How to overcome it:
 
We can be a little too invasive at times, that’s who we are as nosey humans. Some people simply don’t understand what is and is not appropriate, though. Fortunately, you have every right to tell them to back off and any decent human would respect that.
 
If someone has overstepped, it is well within your rights to say that you aren’t comfortable talking about that subject. Any person who forces you to cross those boundaries isn’t worth your time. Offer an alternative and move on or find a distraction. There is no need to sacrifice your own mental state or comfort just to avoid feeling like the bad guy.
 
Being an introvert brings up so many communication problems.
 
It’s hard to navigate the world when you don’t really want to chat, and you’re not really sure how to. Each problem can be overcome though, and you aren’t alone. Build your self-confidence and believe that you deserve to be respected, listened to and given plenty of opportunities to voice your own opinions. There is nothing rude, or wrong, about speaking up for yourself.

 
References:
  1. https://www.forbes.com
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com
 
 

 

Becky Storey
 

 




 

About the Author: Becky Storey


 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 09:05
Domingo, 01 / 03 / 20

How to Raise an Introverted Teenager: 10 Tips for Parents

How to Raise an Introverted Teenager: 

10 Tips for Parents

Michelle Liew 

Contributor writer to Learning Mind.

March 1st, 2019.

 
 
 


 

It’s time for hard facts. This world is an extroverted one, and the outgoing get the most out of it. How does a concerned parent raise an introverted teenager and help them to thrive?
Socialising is an integral part of life as a teen. The teen years are the ones when young people find out about themselves. So if your teens don’t make as many friends as they should, why not give them a hand?
 

Why it’s hard to be an introverted teenager

Being an introvert is a challenge at any age since today’s world focuses so much on speaking out and being outgoing. Nature has wired the introvert’’s brain differently from the extrovert. In particular, the “fight or flight” aspect of their nervous systems is active, as research proves. The tendency puts them at a social and sometimes academic disadvantage.
Experts like Dr. Marti-Olsen Laney, author of The Introvert Advantage, share that an introvert will not feel fulfilled until he or she has alone time. She elaborated further than the dopamine levels at wild parties can overwhelm teenagers who are reserved and stressed that their quiet natures aren’t the result of a lack of social skills. That said, their habits entail that they don’t have as full a circle of friends as their peers.
Apart from having fewer friends, there is the problem of being discounted. Teachers tend to underestimate introverted teens, seeing them as being unable to speak up for themselves or provide adequate responses to questions. The truth is that if you discuss a topic that interests introverted children, you might not get a chance to speak yourself. Sadly, educators often overlook this inclination of theirs.

How do we help the inward-looking teen succeed in life?

Reserved teenagers need a little help with finding success in this outward-looking world. Reaching out to them is a challenge, so you could use a few tips if you are a hassled parent.

1. Encourage them to talk about their feelings

Introverts aren’t masters at discussing their emotions and prefer to keep their innermost thoughts to themselves.  Teens, who are at the most socially awkward stage of life, are even more prone than adults to masks their feelings.
Provide them with an outlet for describing their thoughts and fears. Suggest that they keep a journal or draw if they aren’t comfortable with full disclosure.

2. Avoid labelling your child

Despite what you may believe, introversion is not a sign of social-emotional dysfunction. Introverted teens have different needs from their extroverted peers. Labelling them as “loners’ makes them feel awkward and presses them to believe that they are what you say they are. The best thing parents can do for them is to accept them as they are, quietness and all.

3. Teach your child to seek help

No man is an island, and all of us need help once in a while. Quiet teenagers prefer to solve problems themselves because they feel too embarrassed to ask others to give them a hand.
 
Teach your introverted teenager that there is no shame in asking for help. Doing so is a way for them to interact with others. They will soon discover that collaboration is necessary for progress.

4. Practice creative problem-solving

We can deal with dicey social situations if we think through them. Teenagers who tend to be introverted, however, tend to have more problems dealing with them than their peers. Model tough social situations and get them to suggest how to handle them. You’ll find that introverted teenagers are creative types. They will develop self-confidence, knowing that they thought of these solutions themselves.

5. Have conversations

Introverts may not seem to have the skills to form social relationships at first glance. They may have better-developed ones than their peers.
While they do not like to engage in small talk, they prefer to look a person in the eye and offer their honest opinions. They’re not avoidants but prefer more in-depth conversations. Help them to express themselves by having open, candid talks with them.

6. Respect their social preferences

Introverts are quiet and dislike the limelight. You’ll find them interacting with one or two people instead of a large group. Give your introverted teen a chance to observe crowds before conversing with people. Your child may be more inclined to join them once he has a good idea of how they interact.
Furthermore, don’t pressurise your quiet teens to make friends. Note that they prefer to do so on their terms and keep their friendship circles close-knit. Encourage them to make friends with other introverts.

7. Develop a positive self-image

Many reserved teens have poor self-images because people use negative words like “loner” or “weirdo” to describe them. Accept them as they are and avoid using negative labels such as these.
 
Make an effort to correct others who label them. For instance, if someone says that they are ‘standoffish’, use the word ‘contemplative’ instead.

8. Teach your introverted teen to speak up

Remind your quiet teens that their opinions matter. If their quietness makes them the targets of bullying, teach them to speak to trusted adults. Listen when your children talk and encourage them to verbalise their thoughts. Above all, teach them to assert themselves.

9. Nurture their interests

Your teen may prefer classical music and refuse to listen to rock bands. Find classes that will nurture these interests. Remember that different doesn’t mean strange. Consider enrolling them in computer camps if they have an interest in information technology.

10. Provide new experiences

An introverted teen usually resists new things. Tell them that everyone feels this way. That said, they should be adventurous and develop new ideas. If they still dislike the experience, respect the fact that they at least tried.
Your introverted teenager may not love the things extroverts do but can develop as fully as they can. As a parent, all it takes is to show them the way.
 
 
Michelle Liew.
 

 


About the Author: 

Michelle Liew


Michelle is a freelance writer who loves all things about life. She has a broad range of interests that include literature, history, philosophy, human relationships, and psychology. When she is not busy writing her heart out, you will find her tinkering jazz tunes on her piano. She loves anything that helps her to grow as a person, including her pet terriers, Misty and Cloudy.

COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 
 
Free counters!

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publicado por achama às 23:16
Quinta-feira, 02 / 01 / 20

5 Negative Thought Patterns and How to Challenge Them

By Valerie Soleil.

learning-mind.com.

Posted January 1st, 2020. 

 

 

 
They say that happiness is a state of mind – but what if your mind is your own worst enemy? Sometimes it can feel like our own brain is turning against us, assailing us with negative thought patterns that impede us from living a full and fulfilling life.
 
What Are Negative Thought Patterns?
 
These are thoughts and emotional reactions that feel almost automatic, as though your mind were drip-feeding your brain negative information. It can seem like you have no control over your own thoughts. Or like a leaky tap, which you can’t shut off, is continuously dripping negativity into your brain. This negativity that continually filters into your self-identity is hard to fight if you don’t have the right tools.
 
However, there are ways to train your mind out of these automatic negative thought patterns. Rebuilding your relationship with your own mind can empower you to own your worth and your power, helping you to manifest the life that you actually deserve.
 
But how? Below are five negative thought patterns, and the weapons you can arm yourself with to challenge them.
 
1. ‘I can’t’ or ‘I’m not good enough’
 
You always expect yourself to fail, whether it’s something new you’re trying or a task you’ve accomplished time and time again. As soon as you intend to start something, from an academic assignment to a new sport or a new project, your thought pattern tap drips into your brain.
 
It reminds you that you are useless, incompetent and generally incapable. Any motivation you once had is a thing of the past. You begin to feel deflated and unable to face the task.
 
This negative thought pattern is also connected with Imposter Syndrome, wherein you believe you’re incapable of performing the job others think you’re good at.
 
Challenge:
 
Fix this leak by reminding yourself of everything you HAVE accomplished. Grab a piece of paper and divide it into three sections. They each represent three phases of your life up to this point; you can label them as you wish.
 
In each section, list ALL of the things you accomplished during that phase in your life. Anything from cooking your first meal, doing well in school or sports, finishing a book, overcoming hardship, being a good friend, getting a job, decorating your room or house, picking up a new skill.
 
Next, condense this list into a new list of those things which made you feel most accomplished.
 
 
When this negative thought pattern comes back to haunt you, challenge it by re-reading both of these lists and re-living the feeling of accomplishment that accompanied each activity. This engages the rational part of your brain, presenting evidence that undermines your automatic thoughts.
 
Extra: keep a daily or weekly Accomplishment Journal in which you write a list of your accomplishments.
 
2. ‘Something terrible is going to happen’ or ‘Nothing good ever happens to me’ (Catastrophic Thinking)
 
You’re continually convinced something awful is going to happen to you, and that only terrible events take place in your life. It’s one of those negative thought patterns that are a tough nut to crack because, in many ways, it’s self-reinforcing. The more you let it control you, the more blinkered your perspective on life becomes.
 
You eventually notice, focus on and remember only the negative things that happen to you. You’ll obsess over all the instances when someone let you down; you had problems at work, didn’t succeed or failed to meet your goals. Even the small things like choosing the longest line at checkout or getting stopped at all the traffic lights will add to this negative picture of your life.
 
Your mind will gloss over, ignore and forget all the positive things. The times when there wasn’t a queue, when you hit all the green lights, when your hopes and expectations were exceeded, someone showed up for you, or you succeeded and met your goals.
Challenge:
 
Plug this leak by writing two lists. One list of everything in your life you are grateful for, that was entirely out of your control. That time the weather was perfect on your day off, or when you took a wrong turn and ended up somewhere beautiful, or a chance meeting that led to something wonderful.
 
Write another list of everything you are grateful for that was under your control (graduating, fitness, travelling, making connections).
 
 
Whenever this negative thought pattern overwhelms you with pessimism about your life, re-read your lists of gratitude. Remind yourself of everything you have been given, and everything you have provided for yourself. Using this evidence, challenge the notion that only bad things happen with concrete proof of every time something beautiful happened!
 
Extra: keep a daily or weekly Gratitude Journal in which you record all the good that is happening around you.
 
3. ‘I’m a burden on my loved ones’ and ‘No one actually loves me’
 
You feel that everyone in your life merely puts up with you. You have nothing to offer them – in fact, you’re probably burdensome and irritating to them. They hang out with you because they pity you, not because they actually like or love you.
 
This negative thought pattern can extend from colleagues and acquaintances to friends and family, Generally, it drips in whenever you feel a surge of affection for someone or feel very alone. It convinces you that you are unlovable and that others would be better off without you.
 
Challenge:
 
Sort out this leaky tap by writing three lists. One list of times people have been grateful to you, a list of what others have done for you, and compliments or good wishes you’ve received. It might take some digging, as your mind will resist the notion that any of the above actually happens. Sit through the struggle and write down anything you think of before your ego jumps in. Once you’ve written something down, don’t erase it!
 
Every time this negative thought pattern jumps the queue, challenge it by looking at this list and reminding yourself that you do bring positivity to the lives of those around you. The fact that they care about you is translated into gratefulness, actions on your behalf and positive sentiments regarding you.
 
This negative way of thinking prevents you from fully receiving the love, and gratitude others offer you. By challenging this negative thought pattern with evidence of the esteem and love that others have for you, you show yourself the truth: you are loved and valued.
 
 
Extra: keep a daily or weekly Receiving Journal in which you list all the gratefulness, compliments, positive sentiments and acts of service others offer you.
 
4. ‘The world wants to hurt me’ and ‘It’s not safe for me out there’
 
We are biologically programmed to pay close attention to the negative parts of our life since our survival is dependant on our emotional and physical wellbeing. However, a mind in the constant grip of fear detects threats quickly and everywhere, without necessarily differentiating between real or imaginary threats.
 
A speciality of the human brain is also to think in terms of emotional risks and emotional safety. While we may not be imminently eaten or killed, our brain perceives that certain people or circumstances are emotionally unsafe.
 
Those of us who struggle with anxiety have a mind that has become hardwired to recognise physical and emotional perils everywhere, which trigger a fight or flight response. This generally leads to feelings of victimisation and a desire to isolate ourselves from this unsafe world to avoid its many threats.
Challenge:
 
This negative thought pattern requires a two-fold response. Physically, we need to turn off the fight-or-flight response by re-centring our breathing. Make sure you’re breathing through your stomach, not your chest, and spend 2-5 minutes inhaling and exhaling deeply.
 
Using mindfulness, you can also centre your mind so it’s not panicking wildly about future threats. Still focussing on your breathing, list five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can smell and two things you can feel.
 
 
Emotionally, we need to to show our mind the evidence that the perceived threat is imaginary or not as significant is it thinks. The first step is to identify the source of our fear: what is making me feel unsafe?
 
Secondly, we can dismantle it, as objectively and compassionately as possible, to reveal the truth: it’s nothing more than we can handle. Write a list of every time you have previously faced this threat or something similar. This will challenge your mind to rationalise its reaction to the perceived menace.
 
If you are regularly overcome with a generalised fear of everything, the essential step is mindful breathing. Recall your mind to the present situation in which you are safe. Once your body is under your control, it’s easier to re-negotiate a positive thought loop with your mind.
 
5. ‘I don’t deserve anything (good)’ and ‘I’m ugly on the inside’
 
This is another tough one. Whenever something good happens to you, be it a promotion, winning a competition or requited love, your leaky thought pattern tap kicks off again. It persuades you that the good things coming your way are more than you deserve and if the world truly knew you, it would give you nothing.
 
Patterns like this one are the pillars of the negative thought process cycle. It robs you of your very right to own your worth, power and talent and receive the love that comes your way. It’s also linked to Imposter Syndrome, in that it convinces you that you are underserving of your place in the world. Everything good that comes your way must be based on an illusion.
Challenge:
 
Whenever this negative thought pattern drips in, write down what it is you are undeserving of. Then, force yourself to write down at least three reasons why you DO deserve it. This might feel forced, dishonest and borderline arrogant.
 
 
However, if you can write down at least three and then read them out loud to yourself until they feel natural, the whole process will become more comfortable. You’ll eventually come to believe yourself when you tell yourself why you deserve good things.
 
 
References:
  1. Dr. Mathieson, A., Clinical Psychologist, personal conversation
  2. Stanny, B., Sacred Success: A Course in Financial Miracles (2014)
  3. https://psychcentral.com


Valerie Soleil


 



 
About the Author: Valerie Soleil


Valerie Soleil is a writer with over 5 years of experience and holds a bachelor degree in law and a B.A. in Psychology. She is a physical & mental health enthusiast who constantly expands her knowledge about the mysteries of the human body and mind. Some of the activities Valerie is particularly passionate about are traveling and reading because they help her broaden her horizons.
 
 
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Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
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publicado por achama às 07:16
Terça-feira, 03 / 12 / 19

Why Do Some Drunk People Show a Personality Change, According to Science?

Lottie Miles.

learning-mind.com

Posted December 1st, 2019.

 
drunk people personality change.

 


 
The morning after the night before a session of heavy drinking can leave you with not just a sore head but the paranoia of how you behaved under the influence of one too many cocktails. However, research is increasingly pointing towards the conclusion that, for many of us, alcohol does not hugely transform our personality. Despite this, some drunk people do undergo a personality change when drinking alcohol.
 
So, why do some drunk people show a personality change and others don’t? Let’s take a look at what the research says.
 
How does alcohol affect our personality?
 
It is a common idea that alcohol transforms us into different people and has a profound effect on our personality. It can certainly feel this way when under the influence, you may feel more free with your opinions, more extroverted and even more likely to take risks.
 
However, what happens when our drunk behavior is observed and compared to our sober selves? This is what researchers from the University of Missouri did and the results were fascinating.
 
The study had 156 participants, half of which were given alcohol in a laboratory setting and were observed by trained researchers who measured the effect alcohol had on them using three personality measures.
 
Prior to this observation, participants were asked to complete self-reports of their normal sober behavior and how they think this changes when drunk. They were also asked to rate how they thought their personality had changed after consuming alcohol during the experiment.
 
The results found that the participants’ perception of their personality change when drunk was much more pervasive than the sober observers’ perception of any alcohol-induced changes to personality traits. The only real personality change noted out of the personality factors observed was a higher degree of extraversion after drinking alcohol.
 
The researchers do point out, however, that the clinical laboratory setting needs to be acknowledged as an inhibiting factor in the research and that there is a need for further exploration in this area in a more natural environment.
 
4 types of drunk personality that show how different people are more susceptible to a personality change
 
Prior to this study, previous research by the University of Missouri distinguished 4 different drunk personality types and highlighted that some people are more susceptible to a personality change under the influence of alcohol. This study looked at the perceptions of 187 undergraduate students and their opinion of their own drunk personality.
 
The drunk personality types they unearthed were:
 
1. The Ernest Hemingway
 
This is the most common drunk personality type (42% of participants) and is named after the famous writer Ernest Hemingway who was known for being able to drink everyone else under the table.
 
The Ernest Hemingway’s amongst us are capable of drinking without it having a huge impact on our behavior or personality. The only changes noted by this group were greater difficulties in organizing and a slight effect on their ability to understand intellectual concepts and abstract ideas. This is the group least likely to experience a problematic relationship with alcohol.
 
2. The Mr. Hyde
 
The second most common drunk type in the study was the ‘Mr. Hyde’ (23% of participants). As the name suggests, the drunk personality type of Mr. Hyde relates to the evil alter ego of Dr. Jeckyll (from the famous book by Robert Louis Stevenson) and corresponds with a marked change in behavior when drunk with individuals exhibiting disagreeable behavior.
 
This group was the most likely to experience negative consequences when drinking alcohol and had a higher risk of addiction.
 
3. The Nutty Professor
 
The third most common drunk personality was termed ‘The Nutty Professor’ by the researchers and is based on Eddy Murphy’s character in the film of the same name. This relates to people who undergo a complete transformation after drinking alcohol.
 
This is someone who is usually shy and retiring yet tuns into the life and soul of the party after a few glasses of Chardonnay. This accounted for 20% of the participants and wasn’t linked with any problematic alcohol usage.
 
4. The Mary Poppins
 
The rarest drunk personality type amongst participants (15%) was referred to by the researchers as ‘The Mary Poppins’. This relates to those who are not only sweet and friendly when sober but maintain this manner after drinking alcohol.
 
Relating to the temperament of the world’s greatest nanny, Mary Poppins, this group were the most responsible drinkers and did not experience any negative effects from drinking alcohol.
 
Research into the effects of alcohol on our personalities highlights some interesting discrepancies between how we think we appear when drunk, and how others actually perceive our drunk behavior. Interestingly, despite popular belief in the transformative effects of alcohol, the research suggests that our personalities are not as influenced by this substance as we might think.
 
However, the fact remains that some drunk people are more affected than others by a few too many drinks and everyone has one friend who perhaps turns into the worst or best version of themselves when under the influence.
 
There is a need for further research in this area, especially in a more natural setting to a scientific laboratory in order to truly see the impact of alcohol on personality types.
 

References:
  1. https://psychcentral.com
  2. https://www.psychologicalscience.org
  3. https://qz.com
 

Lottie Miles

 






 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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publicado por achama às 09:12
Sexta-feira, 29 / 11 / 19

Why Is Intrapersonal Intelligence Important and How to Develop It?

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

November 28th, 2019.

 


 
 
In the 1980s, a brand-new theory on intelligence emerged. Developed by Howard Gardner, this theory suggested that there is more than just the one version of intelligence. Instead of the typical IQ test, based on logic and numbers, there are several ways in which a person could be intelligent. These new types of intelligence include linguistic, spatial, musical, inter and intrapersonal.
 
Psychologists had developed this new theory, known as the Multiple Intelligence Theory, based on the idea that being intelligent shouldn’t be limited to a person’s ability to do math or science alone. A person could be incredibly intelligent in all kinds of ways.
 
What Is Intrapersonal Intelligence?
 
A person with intrapersonal intelligence is skilled at looking inwards and understanding themselves. They tend to be more aware of their own feelings, their triggers, and solutions than others are.
 
If you are able to analyze your own behavior and thoughts and understand why it is that you feel certain ways, you could be intrapersonally intelligent. A person who has intrapersonal intelligence is usually easily self-motivated and doesn’t require inspiration from the external world to be productive.
 
If you enjoy being alone, you might have intrapersonal intelligence. Instead of fearing being alone with their thoughts, someone with this intelligence would thrive because they are comfortable with their own being. Being able to understand what has caused your feelings or impulse reactions is a highly intelligent skill to have.
 
Why Is Intrapersonal Intelligence Important?
 
This type of intelligence is essential to living at peacewith yourself. If you’re constantly jumping through emotions, reacting with no idea why and feeling totally unaware of your true self, you’re probably not at peace. “Blissfully unaware” only applies if you’re so detached from yourself that you don’t feel much at all.
 
To be truly content, you’ll need to develop your intrapersonal intelligence.
 
Self-Motivation
 
Some of the most fundamental life skills are self-motivation and self-discipline. These things come naturally to people who are intrapersonally intelligent.
 
We all know the struggle that is forcing yourself to sit down and get some work done, but those with this type of intelligence find it much easier. They don’t rely on external forces, deadlines or pressure to get things done. They are able to connect with themselves enough to create motivation to get started and discipline to get finished.
 
Without intrapersonal intelligence, you’re likely to coast along hoping the work just goes away because you lack the drive to succeed for your own satisfaction.
 
Self-Esteem
 
Intrapersonal intelligence also includes having better self-esteem than most. Not over-confidence, but a stable self-belief and comfort within one’s self. When you know yourself as a friend would, you learn to appreciate your flaws and are better adapted to working on them.
 
Self-awareness and being self-assured will help you to navigate life’s difficulties much easier too. If you aren’t in touch with your inner thoughts, then you’re far more likely to fly off the handle at minor inconveniences and major disruptions alike. A person with intrapersonal intelligence is likely to reflect rather than react when life comes bumpy.
 
When people with this skill become angered or upset, they will have the ability to control their reactions and think rather than lash out. They will be better able to keep themselves calm during trying times because of an awareness of their own needs. If they need to leave, they will. If they need to communicate, they’ll do it with a cool head and be more successful in getting what they want.
 
Brilliant minds like Albert Einstein and Virginia Woolf are known to have been intrapersonally intelligent. By being mindful of their own thoughts and calm in the face of difficulties, they were able to achieve incredible goals.
 
How to Develop Intrapersonal Intelligence?
 
If you aren’t the type to have natural intrapersonal intelligence, you can still develop it yourself. It’s a skill that can be learned to help improve your life and mental wellbeing. There are all kinds of ways to practice getting in touch with your inner self.
Writing
 
The most often recommended way to practice your intrapersonal intelligence is to keep a journal. Writing allows you to talk to yourself in a way you might struggle to do in your own mind. When you have feelings, good or bad, try writing about them in your own private notebook.
 
You could even write as if you were having a conversation with a friend. Tell them about how you feel and consider all the possible causes, it’s highly likely that you’ll start to unfold your own mind.
 
After a while of practicing writing in a healthy voice, you might find that it becomes your own inner voice too. Ultimately, this is the most key part of intrapersonal intelligence to develop. It’ll allow you to access parts of your mind that you usually leave to your subconscious and stay more in control.
 
Meditation
 
You can also try meditation or meditative activities such as yoga, walking or running. These things are all encouraged to help you clear your mind of the clutter and access your real feelings.
 
They allow you to develop intrapersonal intelligence by quieting the noise and letting you slow down. Slowing down your thoughts prevents you from reacting too quickly and promotes your connection with your true needs.
 
Through meditative activities, we can learn more about ourselves and let go of the nonsensewe’ve been carrying. Consider these quiet times as an opportunity to chat with yourself. Like getting to know a new person, you would need a peaceful place to be in the present and share. When you let your mind be peaceful, your conscious voice can chat with your inner needs.
 
Disconnect
 
If you want to get to know yourself, remove influences from the outside world. Our phones, tv screens, computers, they all fill our minds. Instead of avoiding silence by staying constantly connected, try switching off. When you’re left in the quiet, you’ll find it much easier to reconnect to yourself and listen to your own thoughts.
 
Being intrapersonally intelligent allows a person to think clearer and more independently. It promotes inner wisdom and better management of your emotions. No more spontaneous tears or easily triggered anger. Disconnect from the world and the noise around you and you’ll find it easier to set goals and achieve them.
 
References:

Becky Storey
 

 




 

About the Author: Becky Storey


 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
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publicado por achama às 09:02
Quinta-feira, 28 / 11 / 19

9 Signs of a Scam Artist and Manipulation Tools They Use

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

November 27th, 2019.

 
scam artist signs.
 
 

 
 
I’ve always been interested in the darker side of a person’s personality, particularly deviant behaviour. I want to know why someone might stray from the straight and narrow. So I often watch programmes about scam artists and their victims. And I think to myself, how did they fall for their tricks? Do they use specific tools to manipulate a person? Do they have to have particular character traits to pull off a scam? Is there a perfect victim? Well, all of the above is true. But before we examine the signs of a scam artist, let’s look at the type of person they target.
 
The Perfect Time for Scam Artists
 
Unfortunately, anyone can fall victim to a scam artist. We are all incredibly busy these days. We don’t have the time to scrutinise every email or text or phone call. Furthermore, scam artists are targeting us from every conceivable angle.
 
Decades ago, a con-artist would have to be confident and articulate. They would have to have face-to-face communication skills to convince someone to part with their cash. In fact, we get the term con-man from ‘confidence-man’. But things have changed massively.
 
These days, we talk to people who are thousands of miles away without even seeing them. Likewise, there are many different forms of communication. And that’s a major difference for our time.
 
In the past, a con-man would have to face his victim. He (or she) would see, up close and personal, the damage done as a result of their con. Now, scammers are people sat far away, in their tracksuits, targeting anonymous people who they have no emotional connection to at all.
 
As a result, anyone and everyone are under constant attack. If our wits are down our defences are wide open.
 
So who is a perfect victim for a scam artist?
 
Scam artists will look for a certain victim-type, depending on the scam they want to pull off. It is important to remember that a victim of a scam is not stupid. This is because scammers play to our emotions, not our intelligence. So, anyone who is in a vulnerable state is, particularly at risk.
 
For example, a person who has recently lost their job, a partner, a child. Someone who is going through a major life upheaval. But also positive things can make you vulnerable. For instance, a run of extremely good luck can skew your judgment.
 
Successful scams all hinge on desire over rationality. Victims of scams often don’t want to know a lot of details about the scam. They just need to know the outcome. In other words, will they be better off?
 
“Victims don’t look for why the offer is a scam; they look for why the offer will make them money. They want you to make them feel good so they can pull the trigger.” Anonymous scammer
9 Signs of a Scam Artist and Their Manipulation Tools
They use your name
 
Using a person’s first name is a powerful way to emotionally connect with someone. It instantly creates a bond between two people. You feel special, as if you are important to that person, particularly if it is your first meeting.
 
They mirror your body language
 
This is a classic manipulation tool that scammers use. By copying your body language, the scam artist is subconsciously forming an attachment with you. You feel attracted to them but you are not sure why.
 
‘We’re in this together’
 
‘We’re in this together.’ ‘You and I are going to be rich.’ ‘We’re gonna make a lot of money.’ Firstly, why would someone want to share their wealth with you? Particularly if you are a stranger to them?
 
Human beings tend to want to hoard their wealth so be very wary if a complete stranger wants to include you in a money-making scheme. Secondly, you’ll feel more like a team and less like you are alone in any risk-taking activity.
 
But there’s always a time limit
 
You often see unscrupulous salespeople do this in order to close a deal. There’s this fantastic offer on hand, but, you have to sign on the dotted line within an hour or the deal is gone. This tactic plays on the FOMO effect. We don’t want to miss out on a great deal. Listen, no deal is that good it doesn’t stand up to scrutiny and time spent away reflecting on it.
 
You’ll win a little at first
 
To get you to sign up to whatever scam is going, you will win a small amount of money in the short-term. This is done to build your confidence. It is also done to lock you into a situation. Now you are tied into a scheme. You are invested, literally and figuratively. You have a psychological need to continue. Of course, it won’t last.
 
Scam artists are good listeners
 
You might think that the majority of scammers are skilled in communication, but having good listening skills is equally important. The reason they listen a lot is that they need to know what will seal the deal for you and what a deal breaker is.
 
They’ll show their imperfections
 
Studies show that we trust a person that is not perfect. In the beginning, a scam artist will let you in on a little flaw of theirs that shows their imperfections. Of course, it won’t be a massive thing to put you off. I mean, they won’t confide that they are a psychopath who has just killed their mother. It will be just small enough to earn your trust.
 
Scammers start off small
 
Romance con-artists tend to ask for small amounts of money which then get bigger and bigger over time. The reasons can vary from paying off small debts to helping stop bankruptcy. Although the amounts may begin under 100 pounds or dollars, the victim can end up giving away their life-savings of over hundreds of thousands.
A scam artist will count on your embarrassment
 
Why do so many scams go unpunished or unprosecuted? Because the victim feels so embarrassed about being conned. And this is what the scammer is depending on. We often see elderly victims of scams refusing to come forward because they feel so ashamed about being scammed.
 
Final Thoughts
 
With so many scam artists out there, it is important to keep our wits about us. Probably the most important advice is that if a deal seems too good to be true, it is.
 

References:

  1. thebalance.com
  2. www.vox.com
  3. www.rd.com

 
Janey Davies

 





About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 09:33
Terça-feira, 12 / 11 / 19

How to Win an Argument with These 7 Science-Based Hacks

Lottie Miles.

learning-mind.com

Posted November 11th, 2019.

 
how to win an argument.

 


 

No matter our persuasions, we all like to be right. This means that when your perspective confronts someone else’s, it can be very difficult to change their mind. Even if you are armed with passion, facts, and the will to argue your position to the death. But how can you win an argument and get someone to shift their position if everyone likes to be right?
 
How to Win an Argument Using Science
 
In this post, we will take you through 7 science-based hacks. These will give you the skills you need to know how to win an argument. Changing the way people think is never easy. However, using these scientific hacks, you’ll stand a better chance of winning over even the most argumentative of souls.
 
Be respectful
 
Even if you think someone’s opinion is ludicrous, you are not going to win someone over to your way of thinking. Especially if you go straight in mocking their beliefs. Even if you don’t, try to demonstrate that you respect their opinion. Then, you are more likely to make them feel their self-worth validated.
 
Use phrases like:
“I think you’re definitely right”
“I understand where you’re coming from”
 
Or anything else to make them feel validated will get you a long way. Interestingly, when someone feels validated, they tend to be more willing to listen to information that challenges their beliefs.
Get them to explain their position
 
Ironically, when someone has to explain their beliefs they tend to become less confident about them. Yale University Psychologist F.C. Keil describes this phenomenon as “the illusion of explanatory depth”. This is because by trying to explain why they hold their beliefs, they confront the limitations of their own understanding.
 
Therefore, ask someone to explain their position with non-aggressive and exploratory questions. You’ll find their views are likely to soften and become more malleable.
 
Facts are not a panacea
 
It is tempting to look up a killer fact to finally sway your friend round to your way of thinking about the world. However, psychological studies have shown that winning an argument is much more emotional than logical.
 
Indeed, people tend to begin with their conclusion then pluck the reasons that support their belief out of thin air. Throwing facts at them is likely to throw them into fight-or-flight mode. Subsequently, you are more likely to close down their receptiveness to different viewpoints.
 
Confidence is key
 
Facts might not be the magic-bullet you hoped for, confidence just might be. A 2013 study found that people are much more likely to listen and be receptive to ideas presented confidently even if they are light on the facts.
 
 
Confidence is used as a proxy for expertise. As a result, the actual content of what is being said plays second fiddle to the way it is being said.
 
Seek to appear scientific
 
In modern societies, people perhaps value the opinions of scientists above all others with very little scepticism. Therefore, present your view in a scientific way. Then people are likely to be more persuaded by your arguments.
 
Why not go the whole hog and use a graph to explain your point? Then you’ll be well on the way to winning people round to your way of thinking.
 
The point to remember is, whatever way you can appear scientific will be of major benefit. Use data and references rather than anecdotes and logic over subjective positions.
 
Social proof
 
‘Social proof’ is where people seek to confirm that a certain behavior or belief is suitable. Psychologist Robert Cialdini defines social proof as copying the actions of others in order to reflect the correct behavior. We particularly copy those people we like.
 
“We like people who are similar to us. This fact seems to hold true whether the similarity is in the area of opinions, personality traits, background, or life-style.” Robert Cialdini
 
Examples of social proof include buying a product recommended by a family member. Liking a social media post because all your friends have liked it. Watching a programme because your partner loves it.
Re-frame the debate
 
People with different political beliefs tend to respond more positively to different arguments based on their own moral compasses.
 
The Moral Foundations Theory (MFT) suggests we hold 5 foundational beliefs. For instance, liberals give weight to arguments framed around fairness and protecting people from harm. On the other hand, conservatives value loyalty and authority most highly.
 
So, if you know someone’s political position, shaping your position accordingly is likely to lead to more successful results.
 
Want to Win an Argument? Use Confidence and Rely on Logical Thinking
 
When we disagree with others it is easy to get carried away. We use cheap personal attacks, look to cold facts as a magic remedy, or lose faith in our own position.
 
However, if we want to win an argument and change someone’s position, we are unlikely to be successful in using these methods. This is unless we take a confident, scientific, and tactical approach.
 
Treat people with respect. Have them explore how their ideas work themselves. Use gentle questioning, and re-frame the debate to suit the moral underpinnings of your target. Then you’ll stand the best chance of swaying people to your way of thinking. This is all you need to know in order to win an argument.
 
References:

 

 

Lottie Miles

 





 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 17:39
Sexta-feira, 08 / 11 / 19

6 Signs of a Conceited Person and How to Deal with Them

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

November 7th, 2019.



 
Have you ever been (un)fortunate enough to meet the kind of person who thinks the world revolves around them? These kinds of people spend their lives up on their high horse and refuse to come down. These people are conceited.
 
Spending time with a conceited person is emotionally draining and can even be dangerous for your mental health and sense of self-worth. There’s nothing beneficial about having someone in your life who thinks they’re better than you.
 
 
Conceited people can be toxic to be around. It’s important to be able to spot a conceited person and know how to handle them as soon as possible – before it’s too late.
A Conceited Person Is Arrogant
 
Arrogant people tend to think that they are more worthy and more important than others. This is a common trait that a conceited person would have. When they are being arrogant, it’s likely that they’ll be disrespectful of others and their views and opinions. This is because they view themselves as more intelligent or able than anyone else.
 
They do not see others as equal, but rather they spend their time looking down on others. When this trait runs deeper, the conceited person could also become narcissistic. In this case, they truly believe that they are the best in any situation. Whether it be intelligence, attractiveness or abilities, they will always consider themselves top dog.
They Think They’re Always Right
 
When a person is conceited and thinks a lot of themselves, you’ll find it hard to even convince them they’re wrong. It could be at work in an important task or a casual comment in a conversation with friends. Wherever it may be, if a conceited person isn’t correct, they’ll never admit it.
 
Conceited people consider themselves infallible, and everyone else unintelligent. In a group, they’ll often try to ensure that their voice is the loudest, so no one else’s opinion can be expressed. This is simply because they feel that their view is the best and the most important one.
Conceited People Have a Superiority Complex
 
A superiority complex is a type of dysfunctional thinking. The conceited person thinks of themselves as much more important, or superior, to everyone else. They’ll usually find ways to slide their success and best qualities into conversations that don’t require it.
 
A conceited person with a superiority complex will always expect to be chosen first and always want to be the highest rank. In some cases, this is due to an internal fragility.
 
They crave constant confirmation that they are the best of the bunch. On the other hand, some people have this complex simply because they believe it, usually through excessive praise.
 
 
It can be difficult to deal with a conceited person who thinks that they’re always superior to you. No matter your own talents or abilities, you’ll always be put down.
 
Handle it by surrounding yourself with other people who respect you. Reminding yourself of your true achievements will stop you from believing the lies conceited people spill.
They Are Vain and Judgemental
 
A person who is conceited will definitely be obsessed with their own image. They crave attention and need to be attractive to others. Often, they might even base their self-worth on how they look.
 
You’ll be able to spot a conceited person by how much effort they put into their image, even when it’s unnecessary. There’s nothing wrong with looking your best, but if a trip to the grocery store requires their most attractive outfit, they might be a bit conceited.
 
When a person judges themselves based on their image, they tend to do the same to others. They’ll probably rank people’s worthiness by the way that they look. More attractive people will be more worthy of their time, while unattractive people will barely get a look in.
 
This will even include people who aren’t a romantic prospect. They’ll simply lack respect for anyone who doesn’t match their expectations for attractiveness.
A Conceited Person Won’t Give Credit to Anyone Else
 
Conceited people want to be the sole beneficiary of any success. They’ll usually want to keep all of the attention for themselves because they thrive off praise and admiration. Their craving for praise and always needing to be the bests leads them to leave people out when the credits roll.
 
 
No matter their real contribution to the project, they’ll always want their name first. No matter how many people helped them achieve a goal along the way, they’ll always downplay it.
 
When you’re battling for recognition with this kind of person, never let them win. If you’re proud of your part in something, never let a conceited attention-seeker steal your thunder. Make your own successes known.
They Need Constant Reassurance
 
Conceited people aren’t always as self-assured on the inside as they are on the outside. A conceited person might seem like they’re obsessed with their looks, their success, and their importance.
 
Deep down though, the reason they’re obsessed with those things could be that they don’t really believe it. They bring up their achievements and belittle others because they need to be reassured that they are successful, important and attractive.
 
Instead of being humble and insecure on the outside though, this presents as overconfidence and conceitedness. They constantly set up opportunities for others to take notice of them and, hopefully, agree with their bragging statements.
 
You have to weigh up the pros and cons when it comes to dealing with a conceited person who needs your constant reassurance.
 
If you love them and feel close enough, try having a conversation. Tell them you think they’re great and offer them support in seeking help for the underlying insecurities they have. Once they have more genuine self-belief, they’ll probably be less conceited.
 
If this person isn’t close to you, then their conceit could be draining. Make sure you protect yourself. Don’t let conceited people tell you that you aren’t important. Remember your own worth.
 
References:
 
Becky Storey

 




 

About the Author: Becky Storey


 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 02:51
Terça-feira, 05 / 11 / 19

How to Deal with Toxic People the Way Intelligent People Do

Lottie Miles.

learning-mind.com

Posted November 4th, 2019.

 
HOW TO DEAL WITH TOXIC PEOPLE.

 

 
Life comes with its ups and downs and navigating our way through these is not always easy. One of the key factors which can affect our well-being and sense of self-worth is having a toxic person in our lives. But what exactly is a toxic person? More to the point, what should you do if you have one in your life? In this post, we explore how to deal with toxic people in a smart way.
 
Who Are Toxic People?
 
Anyone can be moody or alter their behavior due to circumstances going on in their life. However, a toxic person is one of the following:
 
 
Unfortunately, it is likely that you will have come across such a person either in your personal or professional life (or both).
 
Knowing how to deal with toxic people can go a long way in managing these relationships in your life. In this post, we take a look at some techniques used by emotionally intelligent people when faced with toxic people. You can draw on these techniques the next time you encounter a toxic person.
 
How Smart People Deal with Toxic People
 
Do not justify their behavior
 
The behavior of a toxic person towards yourself is unjustifiable. However, it can be easy to make excuses for someone. Especially if perhaps they are going through some hardship in their life.
 
We can all relate to a certain level of moodiness or snappiness. Still, if someone is being actively nasty to you this is unacceptable. Excusing a toxic person’s behavior only causes you to doubt yourself. Moreover, it is likely to have a detrimental effect on your well-being.
 
Distance yourself from that person
 
A person who takes pleasure from making you feel bad is not a person that deserves your time and attention. Ask yourself, does this ring true for any of your personal relationships? If so, then it might be time to distance yourself from this toxic person. Understandably, this is easier said than done.
 
At the same time, think about the effect this person is having on your well-being. To say nothing of how you would feel if you no longer had to deal with their behavior towards you.
 
Ultimately, there are different ways to deal with a toxic person. For certain people, the right decision may be to cut them out altogether. This is if circumstances allow it and the time is right for you.
 
Establish boundaries
 
For others, cutting a toxic person out of their life is not a realistic solution. In this instance, establishing some boundaries might be the way forward. Make the toxic person aware of the impact of their actions and behavior. While this is no easy task, it may help them to realize that you are no pushover.
 
 
Establishing boundaries is also about putting yourself in control. You decide when and where you will encounter the person. You can ensure there is a time limit on these occasions. This will help you to prepare mentally for this meeting and put you in the driving seat.
 
Plan your reaction
 
This brings us to the next method of dealing with toxic people. Once you have established boundaries, you will be able to prepare how you will react for whatever the person in question has to throw at you.
 
If you know that they are partial to criticize you for a particular aspect of your life, or they have a particular method of upsetting you then prepare how you will respond to this in advance.
 
Whether it be practising relaxation techniques or preparing your response word for word, it will put you in better control of the situation.
 
Get support
 
Perhaps the most important piece of advice when it comes to dealing with some really toxic people is to get support from those who are positive forces in your life. Whether it be at work or in your personal life.
 
Identifying those individuals that bring you strength will help to build your barriers up against the person who is challenging you with their toxicity.
 
Not only this, it is helpful to draw on support around you to get a different perspective on the issue. Here you can gain useful advice and insights to help you deal with those toxic people in your life.
 
Value yourself
 
Finally, another important way to deal with toxic people is to recognize your own value. Through acknowledging your own self-worth and owning it you can build your resistance to whatever toxicity is thrown at you.
 
Taking their comments and insults with a grain of salt will reduce the impact that a toxic person has on you. Allowing you to elevate your inner worth above anything that they have to say.
 
Final Thoughts
 
Learning how to deal with toxic people is, unfortunately, a skill that we can all benefit from. Recognizing those that bring toxicity to our lives and putting measures in place to reduce the negative impact that has on us is essential for our well-being.
 
Make sure you are aware of the toxic people around you. More importantly, seek professional support immediately for any behavior that goes beyond toxicity to abuse.
 
References:
 
 
Lottie Miles
 





 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 00:28
Segunda-feira, 15 / 07 / 19

Sisu: The Finnish Concept of Inner Strength and How to Adopt It ~ Jamie Logie

Sisu: The Finnish Concept of Inner Strength and How to Adopt It.

By Jamie Logie.

July 14, 2019. 

 
sisu finnish inner strength.

 

 

You have more strength in you than you even realize, but how do you bring it out?

Sisu is a Finnish concept based on grit, bravery, and resilience. Sisu is all about having a real stoic determinism and is something that the people of Finland pride themselves on. We may call it “having a stiff upper lip“, but it goes much deeper than that.
This article will look at what Sisu is all about, and how you can adopt it for yourself.

What Does Sisu Really Mean?

I mentioned some of its traits, but we can see Sisu as the ultimate form of courage. It’s about what you do when your back is up against the wall and all the odds are against you.

It’s all about sticking to a course of action and not backing down no matter what adversity you face. No matter the odds you may be up against, Sisu allows you to not be overcome by them.

We can see a popular culture example of this in Han Solo in The Empire Strikes Back. When faced with certain doom from an attack by the Empire, Han Solo – with his back against the wall – takes the Millenium Falcon into an asteroid field.

Something that’s considered a suicide mission. He is informed by C3-PO that the chances of successfully surviving an asteroid field are 3720:1, to which Solo responds, “Never tell me the odds…”.

This is an easy way of looking at Sisu as it’s all about displaying courage in the face of overwhelming adversity – and insurmountable odds. 

How Long Has This Concept Been Around?

Sisu goes back hundreds of years and is one of the foundations of Finnish culture. It’s thought to be one of the best ways to understand what the Fins are truly all about. The country has always prided themselves in going beyond one’s own mental or physical capacity, and Sisu is what represents their people.
Sisu has been explained as the word that describes Finland and that “it’s the most wonderful of all their words“. This became popularized during the famous “Winter War” when the Fins were invaded by the Soviet Union. This occurred during 1939-40 and it’s when Sisu came to the forefront.
Time Magazine noted that the “Sisu” displayed by the Fins was all about tenacity. It was about the ability to keep fighting long after others would quit.
The Fins were able to take the war into Russian territory while at the same time withstanding brutal attacks by a reinforced Russian army. This allowed them to gain the upper hand as the Fins could fight in harsh conditions with no sense of throwing in the towel.
Sisu is all about bravery, bravado, and ferocity.

More Examples of Sisu

Sisu applies well to matters of war and battles, but is it something notable in a modern, non-military aspect? Most people forget that one of the biggest phone companies – Nokia – is actually Finnish. As the wireless phone market grew more intense, Nokia could hang on despite many odds being stacked up against them.
Nokia was constantly able to overcome many obstacles going into the mid-2000s and the “guts” they had displayed allowed them to stick around in the industry.
This was chalked up to the Sisu shown by Nokia’s executives. The CEO of Nokia noted how this unique Finnish quality allowed them to persevere and have endurance where other companies would falter.
We can see Steve Jobs as possessing Sisu as he refused to ever throw in the towel. He had an intensity and endurance that others couldn’t match. For Jobs, it was all about being relentless and not giving in to create the best products possible. No was never an option.
Even being forced to leave the company that he started only made him embrace this white-knuckle courage to push forward and come back stronger than ever turning Apple into one of the biggest companies in history.

Where Does Sisu Come From and How Do You Adopt It?

With the Fins, it’s considered having developed because of their harsh Nordic winters. To survive in an environment like that takes the ultimate in perseverance and courage.
But it’s also seen as a product of genetics, biology, psychological, and social factors. Some of it may be in you, but it’s also able to be nurtured through your environment.
This may be a social construct, but the concept of Sisu can exist in anyone. Some people have this “never give up” mindset from the day they are born – but it’s still possible to develop it.

It all comes down to your thought process and mindset.

If you grow up in an environment that fosters this approach, it will be easier for it to become naturally engrained in you. It may be the culture that allows Sisu to exist in you more than it is genetics.
This means you want to surround yourself with people who have these traits as they are more likely to rub off on you.
If Sisu is something you don’t think you have – and you want to adopt it – it means getting out of your comfort zone and exposing yourself to people – and situations – where resilience is common. Over time, you will embrace the qualities that allow you to persevere and not back down.

It also means retraining the way you think.

Your brain is like a muscle and it needs repetition to get stronger and more developed. Positive thinking – where you tell yourself to be determined and resilient – will eventually become second nature.
You need to catch yourself every time you doubt or second-guess yourself and remember that it’s just your mind telling you these things. You can train your mind, the problem is it’s we have bombarded it with negative self-talk because of the environment and culture we find ourselves in – so it takes work.
When you continue to reinforce the idea of Sisu in your mind, you will find that the perception of it has now become a reality.
References:
  1. http://www.bbc.com/
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/
  3. https://www.sciencedaily.com/
 
About the Author: Jamie Logie

 Jamie Logie is a personal trainer, nutritionist, and health & wellness specialist. Jamie also studied sociology and psychology at Western University and has a counseling diploma from Heritage Baptist College. He has run a blog and top-rated podcast on iTunes called "Regained Wellness". Jamie is also a contributing writer for places like the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, LifeHack and has an Amazon #1 book called "Taking Back Your Health".




Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 

Archives:

 

 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 19:41
Segunda-feira, 24 / 06 / 19

How to Overcome Inferiority Complex with 7 Methods That Work ~ Sherrie.

How to Overcome Inferiority Complex with 7 Methods That Work.

By Sherrie.

June 23rd, 2019

 

Confidence equals good mental health, and that’s why learning to overcome the inferiority complex is so important.
Having an inferiority complex means you never really feel good about yourself. In fact, most other people in your life seem greater, more intelligent or more talented. Others may also seem beautiful as opposed to your ugliness.
Do these descriptions ring a bell? Well, learning to overcome the inferiority complex is the key to a better life. No one should feel less than anyone else.

Methods to help you change your mindset and overcome inferiority complex

 
Understanding how to overcome the feelings associated with inferiority complex should be your focus. In order to change your mindset, you have to know exactly what you’re facing.
The inferiority complex is not just feeling bad about yourself temporarily, it’s a feeling that persists from day to day – they’re negative feelings you’ve accepted about yourself.

There are methods, however, that help you get rid of these feelings over time:

1. Pinpoint one source

The truth is, you may feel inferior to many people. That’s the horrible nature of the inferiority complex. The good news is, you can focus on one person to help you pinpoint where your weaknesses are. For instance, choose a so-called “superior person”, and ask yourself one question: “Why do I feel inferior to this person?”
Analyzing the one person you picked will help you build levels of confidence. Say you feel that the person is more attractive than you, more intelligent, and more sociable. Well, you can start by finding one thing you can do that they cannot.
There are things, trust me, because no one is perfect. In fact, there may be many things you can do better, but you’ve just focused on your inferior state as opposed to their seemingly perfected one. Do you see? Try this one out as soon as possible. You may be surprised.

2. Positive self-talk

Most of the time, we can learn a great deal about how to get over feeling inferior just by talking good to ourselves. Be honest, how many times have you said, “I’m ugly”“I’m not good enough”, or “I wish I was more like someone else?” Well, I’m sure we’ve all fallen prey to these thoughts from time to time.
The key here is to practice countering these negative thoughts with positive ones. For each negative talk we have with ourselves, we should strive to have two positive ones.
Over time, you will notice a great change in your confidence level. And if someone happens to insult you, you will be armed and ready to defend your self-esteem.

3. Find the root

Of course, if you want to know how to destroy the inferiority complex, you must remember where it came from. Maybe you have no idea how the negative self-talk and feelings even surfaced. Well, if you experienced rejection or trauma in your early life, inferiority feelings may be deep-rooted and will have to be pulled out and examined.
You can start analyzing yourself or you can seek professional help in this area. Some roots, I must admit, travel deep within your mind.
Some of these roots go far and some are large, meaning they encompass multiple issues, situations and people from your past. This is where untangling roots also come into play. To heal your confidence, you must discover these roots.

4. Gravitate toward positive people

Another way to overcome feelings of inferiority is to surround yourself with as many positive people as possible. Being around positive people remind you of how you’re supposed to treat yourself. They remind you of your worth and talents.
If you’ve noticed, positive people usually don’t criticize others. Instead, they may lovingly point out ways to improve. On the other hand, negative people will always have a way to bring you and themselves down simultaneously.
It’s obvious what you should do in this case. Stay as far away from toxic behavior or negative people as possible.

5. Good mantras and proclamations

Not only should you talk good to yourself, but you should also proclaim your good points. When you feel inferior, speak a positive mantra about yourself.
For instance,  you may say, “I am talented”, and “I am kind”. This helps build you up by speaking your worth out loud. Whether you are spiritual or not, I’m telling you, the spoken word is a powerful thing. It truly is capable of turning things around for the better.

6. Always be yourself

If you’ve fallen victim to idolization, which we all do to a certain extent, then you should step back a moment. Immediately, stop all attempts to be like someone else, right now. After you feel clean of everyone else’s influence, fill yourself with yourself.
That’s right, embrace who you are, and examine all your good points. I bet, you have so much to be thankful for, and so many hidden talents. This simple move can boost your ability to overcome inferiority and other negative complexes.

7. Stop comparisons

That brings me to another toxic and heinous act we fall victim to – comparisons. It’s so easy to feel inferior when we compare ourselves with others. We should never ever do that.
So, for this last method, let’s practice working to better ourselves apart from anyone else. Yes, appreciate others and their talents, but never let those things decide who you should be. End comparisons now.

We can all feel better about ourselves

Learning how to overcome inferiority complex is no easy task, I will not lie. However, being able to accomplish this task allows you to open up to a multitude of possibilities in your life. The ability to be confident is a power that so few actually hold. In fact, the inferiority complex inhabits most of us on some level.
Regardless, we should try every day, to love and appreciate ourselves. We are the only one like us on the face of this earth. We have a mixture of unique talents and characteristics that the world surely needs.
I’m going to say you’re beautiful, talented, and worthy, to help you jump start your journey on defeating the inferiority complex, and also just in case no one else has told you lately.
Be well.
 
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au
 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 



About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.

 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 04:44
Quinta-feira, 20 / 06 / 19

9 Signs of a Truly Independent Person: Are You One? ~ Sherrie, learning-mind.

9 Signs of a Truly Independent Person: Are You One?

By Sherrie.

June 20th, 2019

 

Being an independent person doesn’t come from living an easy life. The trials of life make you stronger.

I get angry sometimes when things go wrong. I sometimes lose hope when past hardships repeat themselves over and over. But I think this happens because there is yet something we’re meant to learn. I also think these trials can make prosperous. This means, no matter how hard it gets, I know I can be an independent person.

How strong and independent are you?

Being an independent and strong person comes with a price sometimes. We build walls when experiencing hurt after hurt. The callouses that form over pain and abuse can also leave us a bit insensitive to the feelings of others.
However, that’s not how we all work, or how we should strive to be. Some of us become independent without losing the ability to open up. That’s the focus of our strength.

Anyway, here are signs that you could be an independent type of person. Or maybe someone you know has these traits.

1. You can live alone

Being independent means you can live alone. You don’t need the help of others to survive, and you always find a way to stay financially stable.
You also have no need for occupying the same spaces with other people, unless of course, you want to. You’re so good with yourself that living alone is actually preferable at times.

2. You’re a future planner

While many people say “live in the moment”, an independent and solid person will always plan for times to come. They see the big picture and not the temporary high of present fun and companionship.
I will say it’s good to enjoy each day, but it’s also important to save for the future. Independent people are perfectionists at planning for the future.

3. Saying ‘no’ isn’t hard

For some, saying no is difficult, especially if they are afraid of hurting the people close to them. For dependent people, saying yes, and going along with things is easier than mustering the strength to decline.
People of an independent nature can easily say no and not even give an explanation for their answer. They are bold and present an attitude that says, “I’m saying no just because I want to.”. Do you see?

4. It’s hard to ask for help

Asking for help isn’t hard for some, but for independent and stubborn people, they hate charity. To independent individuals, asking for help means weakness.
Being weak cannot be a part of their plans, for present or for the future. To them, it may even be a sign that they cannot make it on their own if they ask for help.

5. You have few friends

When you’re independent, you have fewer friends than most people. Truth be told, this is because you spend time with people expecting nothing in return.
Now, I don’t know how true this is for everybody, but many of those with many friends often expect favors and help. Since you’re independent, you only see friends as companions. Choosing your friends in this manner helps you realize who you truly appreciate and love.

6. You have an unshakable self-worth

When you’ve become an independent person, you won’t have to get validation from other people. No matter how many insults they use, you will still know who you really are. You will see your value, your beauty, and your loyalty, and nothing can change this.
Of course, there may be times when you’re shaken momentarily, but you bounce back. This helps you see the one who insults you for who they really are. You will know this independent individual by their resilience in the face of adversity.

7. You go out alone

Most of the time, you will go out alone. You love to shop for things alone because you can go and leave as you please. You even like to eat at restaurants alone sometimes.
Being alone in public feels good to you, and it doesn’t leave you empty. You don’t have to socialize with friends out on the town, but you can still have a conversation with people who are already there. It’s an interesting trait.

8. You can lead

When independent, you can take the lead and get difficult things done. You will notice both men and women taking charge of difficult situations, and this usually means they are pretty independent of others.
Sometimes men are intimidated by women who take charge, but unfortunately, this is because they are usually the dependent sort. Strong men aren’t intimidated, they rather help strong women succeed. This can be seen the other way around too but in a slightly different aspect.

9. You’re financially independent

Yes, we already know the independent sort are people who live alone, and they are also those who refuse help. Well, if, for some reason, an independent person just happens to owe money, say for car payments or other financed things, they will most certainly be on time and try to pay off the debt as soon as possible.
They hate owing people anything. It feels like independence is being taken away when you have to borrow money against something.

Being truly independent

There’s a reason people act the way they do. Some are born independent while others grow into these strong individuals because of past trauma or life-long hardship. They’ve learnedtheir own value and potential. An independent person is one of the most exemplary types of human beings to ever exist, and I attain to become more like this as I grow.
Are you an independent one? Do you strive to become more independent? If so, you must take heed if you wish to become more independent that you don’t lose your ability to feel emotions.
If you’re not careful, you can build walls while building your confidence and strength. Here again, as with many other aspects of life, I think balance is the key. So, go forth and conquer.
References:
  1. https://www.theodysseyonline.com
  2. https://www.lifehack.org

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 



About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 19:56
Terça-feira, 18 / 06 / 19

6 Things Messy Handwriting May Reveal about Your Personality ~ Sherrie.

6 Things Messy Handwriting May Reveal about Your Personality.

By Sherrie.

June 17th, 2019

 

I’ve seen all sorts of handwriting styles, large and small. Messy handwriting reveals many things about a person as well.
People write with pen and paper much less than they did before. So, you might say that messy handwriting isn’t a concern for teachers, friends, and employers. The popularity of technology has transformed the way we create stories and complete assignments. Whether professional or creative, our writing is mostly digital.
However, some people still pick up that pen, and when they do, their personality shines through their handwriting.

Messy handwriting and what it may reveal

My son writes in the messiest way. Sometimes you can’t even read what he’s written. He is left-handed, but that has nothing to do with it. In fact, I’ve asked him to switch hands, but it just gets worse. What does this say about my son?
We’re going to explore that and other characteristics he may share with others. So, what does messy handwriting say about your personality?

1. Intelligent

I can surmise that messy handwriting has a lot to do with more than average intelligence. What’s the proof? Well, my son remained in accelerated classes during his entire education. His grades dropped during regular classes because he was bored with the curriculum. He is smart and his handwriting is definitely messy, as I’ve mentioned before.
If your handwriting is messy, it could be that you have higher intelligence. If you’re not sure of your child’s intelligence level, maybe you can have them tested. Pay attention if you do have an intelligent child and notice if they have a messy sort of handwriting.
I will mention this, however, there are a few studies which suggest the opposite, that neat handwriting is linked to higher intelligence, so keep that in mind.

2. Emotional baggage

Many people who have messy handwriting can also be carrying emotional baggage. Often this writing is filled with a mixture of cursive and print letterforms, usually slanted to the left.
In case you didn’t know, emotional baggage is emotional hurts carried over from one person to another, or from one situation to a different situation in life. The writing shows the inability to let go emotionally. The words are just unsure.

3. Volatile or bad-tempered

A person who exhibits a bad temper will often write in a haphazard way. It doesn’t always mean they are quick to get angry, oh no. Sometimes it’s just that they carry anger inside until they have a violent outburst. Again, an example using my son, as he has a tendency to hold in anger until he explodes. This shows in his writing.
A bad temper can cause bad handwriting just because people with this anger disposition are usually impatient. With messy and rushed handwriting, we can see the strong emotions come through.

4. Mental issues

Messy handwriting can indicate that the person could have a mental illness. Often this handwriting will consist of switching slants, a mixture of print and cursive writing, and large spaces between sentences. I am sitting here right now looking at a page of my writing from last night.
I have multiple mental illnesses, and my writing shows my instability. I have also witnessed several others with mental illness who have the same sort of writing style. Now, I know it’s not set in stone, but it’s a pretty good indicator of some sort of connection between the two.

5. Low self-esteem

Have you ever noticed the handwriting of someone with low self-esteem? It’s strange and yet messy as well. Those with low self-esteem not only have messy handwriting but also have random loops and strange styles of capital letters.
People with low self-worth are insecure, and yet they are trying desperately to rise above the insecurity by purposely enlarging their letters as they write. As they attempt to do this, they also try to write in bubble letters.
This usually falls right back into messy and disorganized handwriting because it’s hard to hold onto the façade. I know this why? Because sometimes this is me.

6. Introverted

While this might not be true about everyone, it was true about my brother at one time. While my brother has changed and embraced some extrovert attributes, it’s usually in the online atmosphere I remember he used to write everything in these tiny messy sentences. You could barely read them although they were lovely and interesting if you succeeded.
Does he still write like this? I have no idea because most of his dictation is online. I do believe that introverts, like my brother, sometimes write in messy forms. Maybe his style hasn’t changed much.
I also believe introverts are intelligent and so this matches another aspect of messy and cluttered handwriting. As introverts stay at home a lot, they usually have less to prove to others, and so their handwriting is pretty much as they please.

Are you a messy writer?

Many of my family members have messy handwriting, and yet, my middle son has neat and beautiful handwriting. But that’s another topic altogether and for another day.
Remember, most of the attributes of your personality are positive when it comes to having a messy sort of handwriting, so you should be proud of your scribble. I’m okay with mine.
 
References:
  1. https://www.msn.com
  2. https://www.bustle.com
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 



About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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Discernment is recommended.

 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 00:58
Domingo, 16 / 06 / 19

The Art of Constructive Feedback: How to Give and Receive It ~ Michelle L.

The Art of Constructive Feedback: 

How to Give and Receive It.

By Michelle L. 

Contributor writer to Learning Mind.

March 16th, 2019. 

 
constructive feedback
 

 

Few people are likely to raise their hands with an enthusiastic ‘me’ when it comes to receiving criticism. But those who are advocates of it know that constructive feedback is not only useful but also essential.
People don’t love feedback too much because they are unfortunate recipients of crippling criticism – the kind that makes them feel as though they aren’t able to do anything worthy. That outlook may change if they understand the difference between negative criticism and constructive feedback that helps them grow.

Telling the Difference Between Constructive and Negative Feedback

Giving criticism is integral to your role, whether you’re a parent or a manager who looks after the performance and welfare of staff. Many people feel that they have done their jobs as long as their children or subordinates receive some feedback. The raw truth is that criticism isn’t useful if it shatters the recipient’s confidence completely.
Delivery is the key, and the first step to doing so effectively is to understand the difference between constructive and destructive criticism.
People use negative feedback if their goal is to shatter a recipient’s confidence. Managers may tell their subordinates how poorly they’ve performed on tasks without providing evidence or reasons for their evaluations. Employees seldom understand why they’ve underperformed or know how to make improvements.
And there is a parallel to the home – parents who give negative feedback to their children may discipline their youngsters without telling them why they have earned harsh criticism.
Constructive feedback, conversely, instills confidence in an employee or child. Think about your favorite teachers when you were in school. They were probably the ones who knew how to point out the errors in your assignments without making you feel as though the topics assigned were out of your league.
Similarly, respected and competent managers are the ones who highlight the flaws in their employees’ performances without making them feel like complete failures at their jobs.

Why Constructive Criticism Isn’t Always Bad

Feedback in any form isn’t easy to swallow. Perhaps you need some convincing.
First of all, feedback tells people about your expectations and improves performance. Learning about their strengths increases the confidence of your employees. They gain the motivation they need to improve their skills and align with business objectives. The person who provides feedback also becomes proficient when doing it.
Furthermore, organizations invest considerable sums of money in finding talent. That said, employees have to spend a significant amount of time learning their roles and responsibilities. Feedback helps them with their work so that companies won’t have to find replacements.
Feedback improves trust. It creates a bond between parents and children. Most children understand that parents mean well when they make suggestions. If you are a manager, giving constructive, open feedback to your employees builds their rapport with you. It inspires loyalty.
A manager’s role is to offer feedback that encourages a staff’s development. It is vital that he or she does so on an ongoing basis and not only when performance reviews come around.

How to Provide Constructive Feedback

Constructive feedback is essential to get others to improve on their shortcomings, without causing ill-feeling or shattering their confidence. Here are a few tips to help you get started.

1. Be specific and focus on the problem

First of all, instead of merely telling people what they need to do better, explain why they need to make improvements. Saying “You need to submit work on time” and leaving the statement open assumes that recipients understand what the problem is. However, this may not be the case – perhaps the employee has never faced the ire of bosses before.
Also, never assume that people have the necessary background information they need. They may not understand how their behavior affects you or others. The more you focus on the problem, the more likely the recipient of the feedback is to address it.
If necessary, tell them how the situation affects you and the rest of the business. The more specific you can make your feedback, the more actionable it will be.

2. Don’t get personal

“Constructive” implies that feedback should focus on impartial observations instead of personal attributes.
“Your draft was poor” isn’t likely to get a warm reception. The recipient of the feedback will probably see it as a personal attack instead of an objective assessment, even if the work is not up to par. Focus on the problem at hand and not the person’s attributes.

3. Use the Sandwich Method

One essential key to making feedback palatable is to include positives with the negatives. It tells everyone that you have a balanced perspective.
Deliver feedback like you would serve a sandwich. State the positives, discuss problems, and finish off with more positive feedback to cushion any sting.
For example, you can tell a child, “You’ve improved your math test score.” Then discuss the areas that need improvement. “But the algebra needs some work.” It’s essential to finish off with, “You’ll become a math whiz in no time.”
You can use this approach if you’re addressing employees. Start with “You did an excellent job this quarter. Sales are up by 15%.” Then, discuss the problem areas.”Customers have mentioned that response times are a little slow.” Round off with “Overall; they are delighted with the work you’ve done.”
Be careful not to be too positive as you may come across as insincere; everyone needs to improve. The Sandwich Method of delivering feedback ensures a balanced perspective.

4. Be direct but informal

Try not to use technology such as email, text message, or the phone to relay your feedback, as this can lead to misinterpretation and make it seem less important than it is.
Don’t deliver feedback via text messages or emails unless circumstances entail otherwise. Using technology may lead to misinterpretation and cause people to dismiss it.
Have an honest chat with the person instead. Try not to beat around the bush because constructive feedback is most effective when delivered straight to the point.
Find a quiet meeting room where you can have an honest and informal one-on-one chat with the employee. At the same time, try not to beat around the bush; whether it’s positive or negative, feedback is most effective when you get straight to the point.

5. Show your sincerity

Make sure that your tone and manner matches your feedback, to avoid confusion. If it’s positive, make sure that your body language shows that you appreciate the person’s efforts. If the input is negative, use a serious tone to indicate that the problem needs addressing.
Again, remember not to address personal attributes to prevent blame assignation or fault finding.

6. Listen

To ensure that your feedback is constructive, allow recipients to respond. The response time is essential, especially if the criticism is negative. It shows them that you are genuinely interested in their interpretation of events and that you sincerely welcome their solutions.

7. Make it timely

Always try to give positive feedback when the employee’s praiseworthy achievement is still fresh in everyone’s memory. Give positive feedback when the achievement is still fresh in everybody’s minds, to ensure objectivity.
Timing is essential when delivering negative feedback. Again, it’s wise to cool off before addressing issues to ensure that you don’t color your feedback with emotion.

Receiving Negative Feedback

Feedback is a two-way street. We receive criticism as often as we give it; here’s how to accept input like a professional.

1. It’s never personal.

First of all, feedback isn’t personal if you deliver it constructively. It merely consists of impartial observations, whether in a business context or otherwise.
It doesn’t matter if the person giving the feedback is being mean or wishes you well. What counts is yourself and your reaction. Respond respectfully and with gratitude. Remember that you’re intelligent enough to discern if the person means well.

2. Ask for examples.

 
Most people try not to offend when giving feedback and therefore skirt around the issues at hand.
They try to be as polite as they can, which is excellent for removing the sting of negativity. However, you will need to provide details if you wish to get to the root of the issue.
 

 

Show that you’re not interested in fault finding but only in solving problems.

3. Get help.

A sure-fire way to show your interest in another person’s feedback is to ask for advice on improving your performance. Say, “I feel the same way as you do and would like to do better. Do you have any advice?”
When you acknowledge the truth of the feedback and ask for advice, you show your willingness to learn. The deliverer of the input is likely to respond with helpful counsel.

4. Share your progress.

You are likely to work on areas that need improvement if you respect the people who deliver the feedback. Share your progress with them and show them that you are willing to take the steps necessary to improve your performance.

5. Be a feedback mirror.

Remember that people make themselves vulnerable to criticism themselves when they deliver it; after all, no one’s perfect.
That may be why people are so rarely honest about what they think of others. Offer yourself as a partner in self-improvement, and you’re likely to become an agent of change.
Constructive feedback produces results without causing any hurt if delivered well. Try these the next time you are a deliverer or recipient.
 

About the Author: Michelle L.


Michelle is a freelance writer who loves all things about life. She has a broad range of interests that include literature, history, philosophy, human relationships, and psychology. When she is not busy writing her heart out, you will find her tinkering jazz tunes on her piano. She loves anything that helps her to grow as a person, including her pet terriers, Misty and Cloudy.


COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.

 
 
 
 



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publicado por achama às 22:26
Domingo, 19 / 05 / 19

How to Find Your Authentic Self by Asking These 5 Simple Questions ~ Kolyanne Russ

How to Find Your Authentic Self by Asking These 5 Simple Questions.

By Kolyanne Russ, Guest Author;

May 17th, 20719

 

find your authentic self.
 

 

Getting to know the authentic self that is hiding deep inside you is the first step on the long path of liberation.
Just think about it, if you dare. Your true self is hidden deep within you, covered by layers upon layers of opinions, expectations, and excuses. You are not what you think you are or what you’re expecting of yourself or how you excuse your behavior in front of yourself and others.
The sooner you let go of this well-practiced character you play, the sooner you’ll reach your authentic self. This is the person you’ll feel at home with, however flawed or afraid they might be. This is the person you’ll be able not to change, but to shape, mold, hone and improve.
Everything else would be a lie, and lies are heavy. Lies weigh you down like chains.

But how do you reach this person you’ve ghosted for so long?

Venturing inward is the best chance you have. Instead of keeping everything on the surface, dive deeper underneath. Introspection will help you break the ice and adjust your eyes to the dark. But make no mistake, you’ll need to go pass beyond what feels comfortable and safe.
You’ll need to start reflecting upon what you’re seeing there.
Self-reflection is looking the truth in the eyes and living to tell. It’s also a learning experience that allows you to discover who you are and what you want.
Self-reflection always leads to insight, thus contributing always new and accurate details to your once distorted self-image.

Getting to know your authentic self starts with these five open-ended questions:

1. What Are Five Non-Negotiable Values in My Life?

 
Being flexible and willing to compromise is a fine quality in a person, but even the best of us must draw a line somewhere. The things you are not ready to negotiate on are your non-negotiable values. They are your very essence, the foundations, and principles of your true being.
Do you know what they are?
Figuring out what matters the most to you will keep you on course through thick and thin. Not only in terms of moral fiber and integrity, no. Even more importantly, these non-negotiable values will help you stay empowered and in control of everything you need to reach your goal.
At the same time, they will help you discover your priorities in life.
So ask yourself this:
  • What about your life fills you with pure love and joy?
  • What are some of the qualities you admire the most?
Maybe you’ll say health, self-expression, and authority, or honesty, friendship, and family. To a lot of people, love, empathy, and faith are non-negotiable. For me, that’s creativity, beauty, and love. For you, it may be something very different, like success, diligence, and ambition.
There are no wrong answers here.

2. What Would I Do If I Couldn’t Fail?

 
The fear of failure masks our greatest desires.
Fear stands between you and your authentic self too, keeping you comfortably tucked in a bed of lies. This is your Netflix & Chill persona telling you that you are too fat to get up and start pursuing beauty. You can try, it whispers in your ear, but you’ll only end up embarrassing yourself.
This is your corporate self, telling you that you’d never succeed as an artist. Or your stay-at-home-mom fear, preventing you from seeking a career.
Terrified of failing, we often decide not to even try. This is why so many of us end up miserable in our private and professional relationships. Instead of seeking what we truly want at the cost of failure, we choose to settle for less. It’s so much safer there, where you cannot fail.
But what would you do if you were guaranteed success?
Whatever your instinct is screaming right now is what you really want from this life.
So what if you fail? You’ll not be the first nor last to lose hope and regain new strength. If you think about it, you have absolutely nothing to lose. Bruises will only make you wiser and closer to who you are. You’ll understand that success is not in succeeding, but in overcoming fear.

3. What Are the Experiences I Want to Have to Live My Dream Life?

Of course, life isn’t solely about collecting those crowning gems.
Though staying focused on your quest is admirable, you must take some time to recharge your batteries and recuperate your energy. This will help you appreciate your achievements more, which will, in turn, keep you energized and motivated enough to reach the end goal.
Do you know what else you must do from time to time? Self-reflect on the things you’ve done and the person you’ve become.
This is why what happens on sidequests may be even more important than all the obstacles you overcome while your eyes are fixed on the prize.
These are the experiences you go through alone or share with the people you love, only seemingly uneventful and unmeaningful. Like visiting Louvre or climbing the Mount Everest.
Your bucket list must be full of these and similar forgotten gems. Find some time to collect these too. They will keep you grounded and in touch with who you are even after you become a big shot with no time for life’s simple pleasures. Cherish them as priceless things they are.

4. What Is on My Schedule That Doesn’t Need to Be There?

 
Have you figured out who is your biggest enemy in life? No, it’s not fear. It’s time.
Whether or not you’ll fear the inevitable depends on you alone. This paralyzing, irrational emotion can be overcome with a shred of will, but time can never be stopped. The best you can do about it is not to be wasteful. Commit your time to two things – mindfulness and growth.
Mindfulness feels like breaking the clock, as it allows you to freeze the moment and savor every last bit of it. Growth on the hand is the closest thing we have to a time-defying spell. The more you grow, the longer you’re remembered. Grand people are immortal, like long-dead stars.
So think about what you’re doing with your time. Is it carefully managed in a way that nurtures your non-negotiable values?
Are there things on your schedule that you can abandon or cut back? Have you made promises for a couple of months from now that you will regret then? Are you giving away your precious time on toxic people? Be grateful for the time you’ve been given. Don’t throw it away.

5. What Am I Doing That I Don’t Enjoy, and What Am I Doing That I Love?

 
In discovering who you are and what you want, perhaps the most telling signs are the things you’re doing on a daily basis. The things you enjoy, you should keep. The things you hate, not so much. Day by day, they are taking you one step further from who you truly are.
Of course, not all good things are enjoyable. You cannot throw around self-reflection as an excuse for being a selfish partner of a bad friend. If you hate going to work, you shouldn’t quit just because.
Life is a fickle thing and you must discover the balance between your authentic self and a sufficient version of you.
If you look deep down and see that you’re afraid, look again. That’s your crooked self-beliefthat’s distorting your true image.
But to return to your last question on the path to self-discovery, use self-reflection to see what you love and enjoy the most. Let these things be something worth sacrificing for, an intrinsic motivation behind doing the necessary things you don’t enjoy very much.

Final Thought

Never give up on your authentic self in return for love and success.
An actor can only play a role for that long before losing all sense of who he is. Make honesty your non-negotiable value, live with no fear of your hidden flaws, embrace the experiences that make you vulnerable and exposed, and spend more time reflecting upon your choices.
But most importantly, do everything for a chance to do what you love.
Kolyanne Russ

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Kolyanne Russ is a relationship and love coach with a conscious and stress-free approach. She loves to empower and motivate people to live great lives and pursue their passions. She works with fabulous women to help them create a vision of their ideal relationship and gain the confidence to achieve it. Kolyanne also writes and shares educational and inspirational content on her blog at Pinch of Attitude.
Articles from guest authors who contribute their writings to Learning Mind.

 

 

 

 

COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.

 



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If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 04:59
Domingo, 05 / 05 / 19

Feeling Inadequate? 7 Strategies to Silence Your Inner Critic ~ Sherrie.

Feeling Inadequate? 

7 Strategies to Silence Your Inner Critic.

By Sherrie.

May 4th, 2019


 

It’s easy to criticize yourself, especially when others criticize you too. Feeling inadequate is hard when rebuilding your self-esteem.
At least one point in our lives. We’ve felt inadequate. You know that voice, the one that says, “You’re not good enough”, “You’ll never find true love”, yeah, that voice.
Well, the truth is, its been around since your childhood. I bet you didn’t know that. Feeling inadequate came from some instance, most likely in childhood, where someone made you feel unloved or unwanted. Now, you feel the same way when dealing with your insecurities.
“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
-William Shakespeare

Dealing with the critic within

There’s a person within you that tells you the lies about your person. They aren’t nice, and they pull no punch when it comes to reminding you about your short-comings. Do you wish to silence this voice?

Well, there are some ways to deal with this critic within and stop feeling horribly inadequate. Then you can really live your life.

1. Roots, roots, roots…

So, as I mentioned earlier, your inner critic comes from some long-ago insult or abuse. It’s true.
Say, your parents told you, “You’ll never be worth anything unless you act like your cousin, Martha”. Yeah, that was an actual statement my mother said to me. I started feeling the sting of being inadequate almost instantly.
Maybe she watched my cousin get awards in school or maybe heard stories of her achievements, But it made me feel like a failure. Now, I do struggle with inadequacies, and it takes strength to fight.
Hey, look at your roots, then you will know it wasn’t you, but the one who insulted you. Maybe they felt inadequate by the way they raised you. Ever think about that?

2. Awareness is key

When you start feeling emotions of being inadequate, stop and realize one important thing. These are only thoughts. They do not rule your life, and you know that you’re better than what you give yourself credit for.
Question these thoughts and then attempt to turn them around as they come. Be aware of what passes through your mind, and filter it accordingly.

3. See the inner critic as a challenge

Understand, these feelings that you are inadequate will never truly go away forever. I know, that’s not such a positive idea, huh. But, all is not lost. You can think about it this way: You can use your inner critic to build yourself up.
When you think you’re lazy or someone has made this comment, use this to start moving, get in shape, and even improve your health. While insults about your laziness or weight gain are not nice, you can use them as a tool to better yourself.
Just try it and see how great it actually works.

4. Contradict the inner critic

Here’s an interesting way to combat the inner negative voice. For example, your inner voice says, “You’re ugly”. Now, that’s a statement many of us have heard in our lives at some point. Well, you can take this statement and word it in a way that says positive things about you.
Instead of saying, “Yes, I am ugly”, you can say, “ I may not be the most beautiful person in the world, but I am still beautiful”. This statement helps build you up and stand strong against those who make you feel bad about yourself.

5. Ask for help

Feeling that you’re inadequate can get overwhelming and sometimes make you want to give up. Don’t ever give up. In fact, start practicing self-care which will, in time, start to build better self-esteem.
If you have to, take pictures of your accomplishments or write in a journal about what you’ve done lately. Don’t ask others for help, ask yourself for help in order to feel good about yourself again.
You might be surprised by all the good qualities that remind you of your self-worth.

6. The inner critic lies

Did you know that the critic within will tell you lies? You cannot always count on the words that come from inside. If you’ve made a to-do list, but yet you aren’t able to get all those things done, your inner critic will jump right in with insults about your inadequacy.
Do not fall for these lies. Instead, tell yourself, “No, I did not finish today, but I am further than I was yesterday”. The truth is, this is just fine, and your inner critic can go get a life, so to speak.

7. Don’t be a slave to your inner critic

When feeling those inadequacies, do not become a slave to them. Just because your inner critic says you should do something better, this doesn’t mean you should act upon these words.
If your inner negativities tell you to get something done faster, take pause. Maybe it would be better to take your time and get the job done right. You can learn to do what YOU want and not listen to the monster that pushes you from inside.

The inner critic and your feeling of being inadequate

Never start feeling like you are inadequate just because that voice within tells you so.
Trust the true you, the one who makes you feel good about yourself. Yes, listen to this voice instead. This voice will make your stronger and quiet those negative thoughts that have tricked you into thinking you must be better than you are.
Remember, you are good enough just the way you are. Your improvements come by hard work and determination, but they also come by taking a break once in a while and recharging your energies. Just do your best and that will be enough.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://psychcentral.com
 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 22:56
Quarta-feira, 24 / 04 / 19

9 Signs of Superiority Complex You Could Have Without Even Noticing ~ Sherrie.

9 Signs of Superiority Complex You Could Have Without Even Noticing.

By Sherrie.

April 22, 2019


 

Many people have a superiority complex but just don’t recognize the signs. Now’s the time to see these imperfections as truth and improve.

Did you know that all of us have a certain amount of superiority? It’s just the few that let this part of us get out of hand. It’s called the superiority complex, a name penned by a man named Alfred Adler.
And here’s an interesting tidbit, Adler believed that the superior complex may be a way to deny the inferiority of an individual. You see, they are different sides of the same coin, but yet being superior may actually hide inferiority.

Recognizing the dysfunction

So, you can see how this becomes a balancing act. Feeling inferior and suffering superiority can be exhausting, but it must be done in order to live a productive life. Now, to start improvements in this area, you must understand the signs of this complex of superiority. Let’s examine these indicators:

1. Feelings of entitlement

The feeling of entitlement is hard to recognize in adults. This is because it came from a complicated childhood. For instance, a grandmother may give her grandchild all the material things he craves, but yet, may not give him the emotional and mental upbringing he needs.
Because of this, the child will grow to feel entitled to everything he wants. He wasn’t taught morals and standards, but yet, he was given everything. Do you see where this can lead to a spoiled brat with a lack of responsibilities?

2. “I” and “me”

Those with a superior type of complex will think in terms of themselves. When it comes to discussing events, situations, or relationships, they will center on self. I think another word for this condition is “self-centered”.
These individuals will always try to do better than others, and when they hear of someone’s accomplishments, they will try to do better and put themselves into the spotlight instead. If you see someone like this, realize, it’s more common than you think.

3. Making comparisons

Do you remember what I said about superiority being the denial of the inferiority complex? Well, this is true, and it shows when people make comparisons. When a person suffers from being too superior, they will often compare themselves to others. When others seem to be making more accomplishments, they will feel defeated. And, of course, this means, they must do something to change that.
Here’s an example: When someone has this complex, and they notice an achievement, they will often take up the same sport, hobby, or pastime in order to eventually do even better.
I’ve seen it happen first hand, and if you tell them that you notice, they will get angry andremain in denial. They like to say, “I’m just bettering myself”, which is good. But usually, you can make the connection and differentiate between the two.

4. Defy authorities

Many times, those who suffer from problems with superiority, will defy authority. They actually think they are above the law and can do whatever they please. Some of them think they will never be caught doing the wrong things. They are also secretive in friendships, with family, and in relationships.
All the social laws and constructs have no bearing on them. Some even think they could possibly be immortal. I know this is a bit far-fetched, but you would be surprised just how far their superiority will go.

5. Manipulation

Being able to manipulate is a common advantage for those who feel superior. They can use anger and threats to get what they want. It’s what those who feel entitled use as one of their greatest weapons. But manipulation isn’t just used during entitlement, oh no.
Manipulation can be used in connection with narcissism and unhealthy relationship issues. One of the worst areas of manipulation is when they use the guilt trip to make you feel bad for standing up for yourself.

6. Lack of empathy

People with a superior complex usually have no empathy for others. They don’t care for others or try to understand the situations of others. Their lack of empathy creates a cold and calculating individual who clearly feels better than others around them.
Their feelings and concerns are the only things that matter, and so, they will always come before others. For those whose intuition is strong, they will blatantly deny any truths targeted toward their superiority dysfunction.

7. Condescending behavior

An unhealthy amount of superiority may be the reason why your friend or loved one speaks or acts in a condescending manner. They may assume they are smarter in conversations and offer definitions for words they feel are too complicated for their group to understand.
They may gossip about others they feel are beneath them or refuse to associate with certain people – sometimes it’s low-income individuals which they avoid. There are many ways the condescending manner works for them.

8. Mood swings

Considering superiority is sometimes a cover up for inferiority, it would stand to reason that these feelings collide and conflict with each other. This struggle creates great mood swings. In one moment, they may feel better than others, and the other moment, they may feel far below other individuals. These mood swings can lead to depression.

9. Controlling behavior

Most of the time, those with a superior type of complex will want to be in controlFeeling out of control of any given situation is uncomfortable and sometimes even devastating. If they’ve lost control, they feel that they’ve lost their superior status. No longer can they call all the shots, and no longer are they the most important issue or person.

Turning things around

While it’s not easy to beat this complex of superiority, it is possible. Like I said before, it’s generally a balancing act. When you feel any of these characteristics with you, stop and ask why. Then work on reducing them as much as possible.
As for those you know someone with this complex, you can tell them what they’re doing and offer help and support. Then it’s up to them to decide to make that change. Take a little time and understand these points so you and your friends and family can benefit and even help others as well.
References:
  1. https://www.bustle.com
  2. https://news.umich.edu
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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Discernment is recommended.

 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


More @ http://violetflame.biz.ly and 
https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/




 

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publicado por achama às 17:57
Terça-feira, 23 / 04 / 19

21 Funny Comebacks to Use When Asked Awkward Personal Questions ~ Janey Davies.

21 Funny Comebacks to Use When Asked Awkward Personal Questions.

By Janey Davies.

April 21, 2019.

 
 
 
 
 

 


 

Have you ever been asked an awkward personal question and wished you’d had a choice of funny comebacks ready to use? Then let me help you!

We get asked personal stuff all the time. It’s when it makes us feel uncomfortable and on the spot that it would be really nice to have a witty response in our back pocket. Having a couple of readymade funny comebacks to bat across the net eases the discomfort.
It puts the ball firmly in the other person’s court. By using a clever response we are alleviating tension and focusing attention away from ourselves. Not to mention that we come out of the situation looking pretty witty. All of a sudden the tables have turned.
So, what kinds of situations are we talking about? There are universal topics that we all find awkward:

Awkard topics we don’t like talking about:

  • Money
  • Family
  • Sexual orientation
  • Weight
  • Having children
  • Getting married
Now let’s get to it. First up, what sort of awkward personal questions are we talking about? Secondly, what can we say that’s not too rude but will get our point across? The point being of course that whatever they have asked is none of their business.

Funny Comebacks When Asked about Money

Some cultures talk about money and how much they earn as a matter of national pride. Others most certainly do not. For example, British people find it hugely distasteful to disclose or even ask a person about their salary. So if you are asked:
“How much money do you make?”
You can reply in any of the following ways:
  • “It depends, are you talking about my drug trafficking ring or the gambling? Oh hang on, did you mean my day job?”
  • “Oh I don’t work, I live off my trust fund/won the lottery, why, do you need to borrow some money?”

Funny Comebacks When Asked about Family

Families, we don’t choose them, we can’t live without them. However, there are certain times during the year when we have to spend time with them. Christmas, Easter, religious festivals, we can’t get away from them.
As with all social gatherings, you get friction. Obviously, each family has its own dynamic and a particular set of problems, but here are a few common scenarios:
“Family is important, why don’t you come home more often?”
  • “Is it? Is that why you decided to have two different ones?”
  • “You do know MacDonald’s/Burger King opens on Christmas Day now?”
There’s also the question of children and siblings in the family.
“Can you babysit your sister’s/brother’s children?”
  • “Sure, if you’re okay with them learning about satanic rituals?”
“Your brother graduated from Harvard last month, what are you doing with your life?”
  • “You mean my degree in fine arts? I’m working in edible paints. When you’ve painted the picture you can eat it afterwards. Banksy is really interested.”

Funny Comebacks When Asked about Sexual Orientation

Why is a person’s sexual orientation anyone’s business but their own? But certain people; for example, relatives, school friends, work colleagues, seem to think they have a right to know. Well, if this is what they ask, here are some examples of witty comebacks you can use:
“You’ve got very short hair, are you a lesbian?”
  • “No, I’m not, but don’t take my word for it, ask your dad.”
  • “Busted, now if you’ll excuse me, I need to buy a pair of nice-looking men’s overalls and Dr. Martens.”
“Are you gay?”
  • “Sorry, I can’t give you a straight answer to that question.”
  • “I am, do you want to join?”
  • “Why, are you worried about that shirt?”

Funny Comebacks When Asked about Weight

I remember going to get some headache tablets from my local chemists and the pharmacist warned me not to buy certain ones as I was pregnant. I wasn’t. Moreover, I told her. You should have seen her face. She looked so guilty.
It was an honest mistake, but I went home and started yoga. Questions about weight can be devastating. Here’s what to say:
“Are you pregnant?”
  • “I’m not, but thanks for assuming someone would have sex with me.”
  • “No, but I am eating for two; me and my inner bitch.”
“You’re too thin for me.”
  • “That’s fine, you’re too thick for me.”
“Are you worried about all your weight gain?”
  • “No, I ate the last person that said a comment like that.”
  • “Okay, my thighs will slow clap you as I walk away.”

Funny Comebacks about Having Children

Bless those elderly relatives who think it is their business to interrogate their sons or daughters about having kids. If you dread visiting your in-laws because of the incessant questioning about when you are going to start having children, read on:
“When are you going to start a family?”
  • “Probably nine months after we’ve conceived them.”
  • “Why, are you offering to pay for them?”
  • “We’re not, we don’t want them to turn out like you.”

Funny Comebacks about When You Are Going to Get Married

This is another situation that people like to stick their noses in and rummage around for answers. A couple that is living together for a long period of time and has not yet proposed? What’s going on? We need answers!! Here is what you can say:
“When are you guys getting married?”
  • “Actually next week. Didn’t you get the invitation?”
  • “The same time as my partner.”

Remember That You Are Not Obliged to Answer Awkward Personal Questions

I hope I’ve given you some funny comebacks to use when people are asking you rude and embarrassing questions. But the main thing to remember if it all gets a little too personal, there’s no law that says you have to answer at all.
You can always say the following:
  • “I’d rather not say.”
  • “I prefer not to say.”
  • “Actually, that’s really none of your business.”
  • “I’m afraid that’s private.”
  • “That’s a personal question.”
  • “In this country, we don’t ask questions about sex/money/salary/etc.”
  • “I don’t feel this is the time or the place for that sort of question.”
However, I have to say, it is really satisifying to deliver a killer punch comeback when someone is deliberately trying to make you feel uncomfortable or nervous.
On that note, why not let us know if you have any funny comebacks you’d like to share!
References:
  1. https://www.redbookmag.com
  2. https://www.theguardian.com
 
 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

About the Author: Janey Davies.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


More @ http://violetflame.biz.ly and 
https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/




 

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publicado por achama às 08:32
A Luz está a revelar a Verdade, e esta libertar-nos-á! -Só é real o AMOR Incondicional. -Quando o Amor superar o amor pelo poder, o mundo conhecerá a Paz; Jimi Hendrix. -Somos almas a ter uma experiência humana!

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