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Sábado, 13 / 07 / 19

Naikan Reflection: How This Japanese Technique Transforms Your Relationships ~ Francesca F.

Naikan Reflection: 

How This Japanese Technique Transforms Your Relationships.

By Francesca F.

July 12th, 2019

 
 

 

Naikan Reflection helps us to better understand ourselves and others in our various relationships.
Relationships are complicated, and it is always easier to focus on the bad parts than the good. Naikan Reflection is a form of genuine self-reflection which aims to help us understand our relationships better.

By understanding the bigger picture, we can see the nuances of a relationship. Most significantly, you may find yourself recognizing cycles of negative behavior, or having a greater respect for what others do for you.

What Is Naikan Reflection?

Naikan Reflection is a structured method of self-reflection which helps us to get a more realistic sense of our relationships with others. It was developed by Japanese businessman and devoted Jodo Shinshu Buddhist, Yoshimoto Ishin.

Those who practice it claim that it helps them to understand themselves and others with who they have relationships.
The Three Questions of Naikan Reflection

Naikan Reflection is based on three key questionswhich help us to reflect on our relationships with others, from friends to family, co-workers to acquaintances.
  1. What have I received from…?
  2. What have I given to…?
  3. What troubles and difficulties have I caused…?
There is a logical fourth question in this series which is ‘What troubles and difficulties have… caused me?’ This question was purposefully ignored because of the belief that this question is responsible for too much misery in daily life.
One of the most important aspects of Naikan Reflection is that it assumes we are all naturally good at seeing an answer to this fourth question. In contrast, true knowledge comes from a little introspection.

Three Different Methods to Practice Naikan Reflection

The general method of practicing Naikan Reflection is to answer these questions in detail.
  • Examine first what you have received from others.
There are times we receive things from others without understanding the sacrifices they made or the thought they gave it. Take the time to understand this and to whom you should be grateful.
  • Next, consider what you have given to others.
We are all susceptible to self-criticism. Taking the time to understand how you are capable of helping others can change our perception of ourselves.
As a result, this is a valuable tool because it helps to boost self-esteem and change our mindset. When we see the good in what we have done without making a conscious effort, we can see the good we are capable of in the future.
  • The final question is not the easiest to answer.
We never like to point fingers at ourselves; doing so can be difficult. Yet, we must understand the hardships we have caused others to truly be introspective. When we see what difficulties we have caused others, we can begin to understand and even repair those relationships.
There are three main ways Naikan Reflection can be practiced, so you can find the right method for you.

Daily Naikan (Nichijo Naikan)

Daily Naikan Reflection takes only 20 to 30 minutes before falling asleep. Sit in a quiet place and minimize distractions. Consider the three questions of Naikan and answer them in relation to the events of the day.
Try to be as specific as you can rather than generalize about ‘receiving food’ or ‘gave assistance.’ It may seem trivial, but it is important to recognize what you should be grateful for and what you offer others.
This method is the simplest. It also keeps the self-reflection we do present in our daily lives.

Naikan Reflection on a Person

Naikan Reflection can be done in reference to a specific person. This method takes a little longer because it focuses on the entire relationship, beginning to end. Start with how you met, and slowly work your way through the ups and downs of the relationship chronologically.
Naikan Reflection on a person gives us greater insight and respect for a particular person. You may focus on a few weeks, or a few years, giving yourself a detailed account of hard times with the gift of hindsight.
You will be able to see how the relationship has strengthened or may be weakened. However, you will be able to see the situation as a whole.

A Naikan Retreat (Schuchu Naikan)

Naikan Retreats can be a scheduled event, or it can be something you venture to do alone. Taking yourself away for a set amount of time to a quiet and secluded place can be mind-opening.
Venture to a peaceful and private spot and give yourself nothing to do but reflect. View your life chronologically and assess all of your relationships in turn.
This is the most intense version of self-reflection and it can take some time to work up to this. However, those who take part in such retreats have profound and life-changing experiences. What is important is that you are sincere and committed to the experience.

Why self-reflection is important

Self-reflection is deeply entrenched in many of the world’s spiritual cultures. There are many different methods of self-reflection which can help open your mind to all that life is.
Naikan Reflection is simply one of many of these methods, but it helps us to form closer bonds through the understanding of our relationships.
Most importantly, practicing this reflection helps us to recognize the importance of others and the positive impact we can have in the lives of others.
References:
  1. https://minds.wisconsin.edu
  2. https://oxfordre.com

 

 

  1.  

 

 

 

 

About the Author: Francesca F.

Francesca is a freelance writer currently studying a degree in Law and Philosophy. She has written for several blogs in a range of subjects across Lifestyle, Relationships and Health and Fitness. Her main pursuits are learning new innovative ways of keeping fit and healthy, as well as broadening her knowledge in as many areas as possible in order to achieve success.
 
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
 
 

 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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publicado por achama às 22:44
Segunda-feira, 08 / 07 / 19

Dreaming about an Ex: 6 Meanings That Might Surprise You. ~ Janey Davies.

Dreaming about an Ex: 

6 Meanings That Might Surprise You.

By Janey Davies.

July 6th, 2019.

 
 

 



 

Dreaming about an ex can be unsettling, particularly for those in abusive relationships. But can they offer insight into our daily lives?
You might wonder how a dream about an ex-partner can shed light on what’s happening in our day-to-day life. For example, what does it mean for those who are in happy relationships? On the other hand, what about people that are single? How is dreaming about a past ex-partner relevant to our present?
Well, you could argue that we all made up of our past experiences. The things that happened to us when we were younger have shaped us into the people we are today. But clearly, if we are dreaming about an ex-partner, then something is not quite right. But what exactly?

Why do we dream?

Freud believed that dreams are a window into the subconscious mindHe argued that we all have hidden desires, wishes and thoughts that we feel ashamed to voice out loud. As a result, we bury all these hidden desires and they fester in the subconscious. Dreams allow us to process these desires in a healthy manner.
Every dream is unique to us. It is packed full of our own experiences and emotions. Each dream contains symbols and clues that give us hints as to what our subconscious mind is trying to tell us.
There are some would argue that the fact we are dreaming about an ex is irrelevant. However, our subconscious mind has chosen an ex-partner because it believes this is the perfect way to tell us about a particular problem that needs attention.
So, what can we learn about dreams that feature an ex-partner?

Dreaming about an Ex: 6 Meanings and Interpretations

 

1. Unresolved issues

 
I often dream about a certain ex-partner and I believe this is because of unresolved issues between myself and my ex. We were together for ten years and broke up over 18 years ago. However, of all my ex-partners, he is the one I dream about the most.
He was a very controlling person who was jealous all the time. I was a flirtatious person who was probably not the best match for him. The relationship ended very badly.
When I’m dreaming about my ex, I am living in his house and he is not there, but I know he will come back at any time. I think this represents the fear and anxiety I used to feel in our relationship when he would look around for things I had done wrong so he could punish me.
If you are dreaming about your ex, consider whether you have unresolved issues as well. Was the break-up difficult? Do you feel cheated because you didn’t get your share of the house or other possessions?

2. Symbolic of other problems

 
Dreams are symbolic. Many people worry that because they have dreamt of an ex they subconsciously want them back, but that’s not the case. Exes are exes for a reason. Whether it was your decision to break up or not.
Think about why the relationship ended. Was it you that finished it and why? Do you regret it? What could you have done differently if you do regret it?
Even if you didn’t end it, think about how you can prevent the same thing from happening in the future. If your dream about your ex is recurring, then understanding why your relationship ended and what you can do in the future may put a stop to these ongoing dreams.

3. You are missing a part of your life with the ex

 
Our partners are so much more than that person. They are a lifestyle, a circle of friends, an extended family, even an income bracket.
When I split up with my ex, I found out very quickly that surviving on a civil servant salary was a huge change compared to a joint income with my ex. I went from living in a four-bedroomed house in a lovely little village to renting one room in a shared house in the city centre.
Now, my situation is different and I’m very happy, and yet I still dream of my ex. Perhaps I am resentful that he still owns that lovely house in the village? I hope not. But it’s something to be aware of.
Remember, dreaming about an ex doesn’t mean you are missing your ex, it could be the house you lived in, the area, the mutual friends you had, or all the things you did together.

4. Your ex represents a part of you

 
There is a theory that your ex represents a part of you that you might be neglecting. For example, if your ex-partner was particularly loving and you are in a relationship at present, consider your behaviour with your current partner.
Are you being as warm and as caring as you should be? Could your dream about your ex be a wake-up call about your current relationship?
The best way to analyse this dream is to look at your ex-partner’s best or worst qualities and see whether you are either replicating them or you need to pay attention to the ones you are lacking.

4. A chance to forgive

 
In life, we don’t always get the opportunity for closure. People can walk away without giving explanations about their behaviour. Or, they can act inappropriately without facing the consequences.
It can leave us with unfinished business. We can’t move on. However, our dreams allow us to process these unresolved issues.
In our dreams, it doesn’t matter whether your ex feels sorry for causing you upset and pain. You have the to power to forgive and make peace with the situation.
In fact, if you keep having dreams about your ex, forgiving them while you are awake might stop you dreaming about them when you’re asleep. Only then will you be able to move on.

6. There is something lacking in your current partner

 
If the dream about your ex was your first love and you are in a relationship, this is a sign that you feel something is missing in your current relationship.
Our first love reminds us of passion, our youth, and the excitement of being in love for the first time. Therefore, if you are dreaming of your first ex-partner, it is your subconscious nudging you to regain these feelings with your present partner.
Dreaming about an ex has all kinds of meanings and interpretations. The main point to remember is that it doesn’t have to mean you still have feelings for an ex-partner.
If you keep dreaming about an ex, it’s more likely that your subconscious is using this to tell you about an issue that needs resolving right now.
References:
  1. www.bustle.com
  2. www.thecut.com
 
 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

About the Author: Janey Davies.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


More @ http://violetflame.biz.ly and 
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publicado por achama às 05:35
Domingo, 30 / 06 / 19

6 Types of a Verbally Abusive Relationship People Don’t Realize Are Toxic ~ Sherrie Hurd.

6 Types of a Verbally Abusive Relationship People Don’t Realize Are Toxic.

By Sherrie Hurd.

Posted June 29, 2019 by Edward Morgan

 
 
 



There are so many forms of abuse, and the verbally abusive relationship is one of the most damaging situations. Words truly hurt.

Sometimes, I sit around and think about negative words from the past, but I try not to dwell too long there. It can be even more damaging to present situations, good or bad. I was in a verbally abusive relationship, among other things, and it almost killed me.
Here’s the thing, there were times that I tried to convince myself that I was the problem, and this is the largest contributor to my degrading health. Instead of being strong and getting away from a bad situation, I crumbled. I don’t want this to happen to anyone.

Recognize the toxicity

It’s sometimes hard to see the abuse from the inside. But if we take a step back and examine the big picture, we will see these negative and hurtful words as extremely abusive. If you’re in this situation, I know you need a little help.
So, let me explain a few verbally abusive type relationships that you may not recognize. I just want to give you a heads up, so you can avoid much of the damage that I endured.

1. Manipulative relationships

One of the first signs of a verbally abusive and toxic relationship is manipulation. This type of abuse can come in either actions or words, depending on the particular issue in the relationship. For instance, threats to leave a person, if they do not do as they are told, is definitely a manipulative move.
Control is a form of manipulation and control can easily be conveyed through words, even seemingly calm soothing words. In this case, it’s not only about how the thing is said but the placement of words in the statement.
Love, devotion, and commitment can be used just as negatively as harmful words and can be spoken calmly as well. But the placement of these words lets you know the true intention of the speaker.

2. Gaslighting relationships

I hate this one. Oh, I hate it with a passion. This was used on me so many times that I am grateful I still have a bit of self-worth left. Please pay close attention to what I’m about to tell you because it can change your lifeGaslighting is real, and some people are really good at it too.
Gaslighting is a form of convincing someone that they are crazy. For instance, if you catch your partner doing something wrong, they will turn the blame over to you. They can say a multitude of things that will make you feel like you’ve done something wrong yourself.
But there’s more to it. They can convince you that your memory of certain situations is wrong, especially if you’ve happened to mention a disturbing memory about them. They will say you are too sensitive, that everything you’ve seen or heard is all in your head.
Basically, it’s about them getting out of trouble at the expense of your sanity.

3. Humiliation in relationships

Sometimes partners will purposely embarrass or humiliate their matein public. I’m not sure why they do this, other than to put themselves in a good light and their partner in a bad one. I guess it’s about defaming a reputation in hopes of getting their own way.
Now, fun teasing is okay, because many couples do this, but insults and degrading comments are never okay. Honestly, intelligent people, who see this being done to you, will probably realize the motivation behind what’s being done, which is a good thing.
Let’s hope many people are learning more about toxic relationship dynamics.

4. When you’re always to blame

By the way, I also hate this one too. I’ve been in a relationship before where it was almost impossible for my partner to take the blame for anything, and apologies were rare. You are in a verbally abusive partnership when your partner will not take the blame, it’s that simple.
When you fight, it will be because you upset him or when something is forgotten, it will be because you never reminded her. You get the picture. To them, it will always be your fault.

5. The overly jealous relationship

Being a little jealous is okay, but being obsessive about it is not. It can be turned into a verbally abusive and hurtful relationship. If your partner starts hounding you about flirting with others or cheating when you’re late coming home, then they have become obsessive, and this is toxic indeed.
Because even though jealousy may not initially be verbal, it will soon turn into questioning, prying, and even public humiliation. It tends to escalate rather quickly.

6. The undermining relationship

A verbally toxic and abusive relationship can also include undermining. What undermining does is it makes the victim of abuse question their own interests and other choices. An abusive partner will criticize their mate’s clothing, music, and even food choices until the victim starts to question their own choices themselves.
This is also a form of control and may be hard to recognize at first. This is usually due to the fact that the abuser wraps their criticism in caring statements. They say they want to support their partner and they know they can do better.
Have you heard this before? You just have to learn how to tell the difference between real support and manipulation.

What can we do?

verbally abusive relationship - What can we do
If you’re in a relationship that has any of these characteristics, it’s time to do inventory. Pay attention to the way your partner acts in certain situations or during arguments. Many times, they will have a hard time with healthy communication and will say the communication is being argumentative.
Usually, the abusive partner will get angry instead of trying to talk things through, not always, but most of the time.
So, with this being said, I hope you can find a way to stop verbal abuse if you endure this. A verbally abusive relationship can damage both your physical and mental health if not approached in the right way and resolved.
Sometimes, unfortunately, leaving the toxic relationship is the only solution. This will be up to you.
I wish you well.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/
  2. https://www.womenshealth.gov/
 
 
About the Author
Sherrie Hurd is an artist and a regular contributor to the websites Learning Mind and Life Advancer. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.
 

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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


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publicado por achama às 22:27
Terça-feira, 25 / 06 / 19

How to Practice Modern Stoicism and Why It Will Make You Happier ~ Janey Davies.

How to Practice Modern Stoicism and Why It Will Make You Happier.

By Janey Davies.

June 25th, 2019.

 
 

 



 

Just one glance at the internet and you’ll be deluged with posts promising to reveal the secrets of everlasting happiness. But actually, there is no mystery to being happy, and modern stoicism can show you why.
The word stoic suggests a longsuffering, patient, tolerant person that bears their burden without complaint. However, to imply that this is the route to happiness would be completely wrong. The theory behind modern stoicism is simple.

What Is Modern Stoicism?

In life, we cannot control everything so we should focus on the things we can and accept what we cannot change.
Modern stoicism originates from the Stoics who were ancient philosophers living in Greece. These wise men argued that in order to live happier lives we should decide what things we can change and what we cannot.
Once we have distinguished between the two, we can work at changing what is within our power to do so. Then it is easier to accept what we cannot change as part of life. This might sound like airy-fairy nonsense, but it does make a lot of sense when you consider what is actually under our control.
What can’t we control?
  • What people think of us.
  • Our own bodies.
  • The environment
  • What people do.
What can we control?
  • How we think about all of the above.
  • What judgments we make about those thoughts.

There are two basic principles:

We can’t control everything in life. All we can control is how we think about what happens and the judgments we make, based on these thoughts. And this is where it gets interesting. The ancient Greeks believed that it is not actual things that cause us unhappiness but how we think about them.
When something happens, we make a judgment about it. If we think the thing is bad, we feel upset or angry or grief. It all depends on what the thing is, on how we have perceived and judged it. However, this same thing might not upset another person, indeed, it might even be a joyous event for someone else.
For example, take a World Cup final. The winning team’s fans will be rejoicing. The losers will feel real pain and grief. If you’re not interested in football, you won’t be affected at all.
So, the important thing to remember is that whatever judgment we add to our thoughts gives the thing value. Moreover, it is this value that produces our emotion. The good thing is that we have control over these judgments. Whatever happens, whether it is good or bad, we can decide what value we assign to them. That value will then affect our emotions.
Likewise, this emotion can be happiness or sadness or anything we choose to feel. So while we may have no control over what happens to us, we do have complete control over how we feel about what happens to us. Consequently, we are in control of our happiness.

So how does stoicism work in the modern world?

 

Figure out what’s really important

 
Many people lust after wealth, fame, power, status, but the reality is that few of us are going to attain these things. As a result, a lot of us are going to end up miserable because we haven’t achieved these goals. So why do we value these things? At the end of the day, most of us just want to be comfortable, healthy, have good friends and no stresses or worries.
Consider why you want these meaningless trappings? Is it to impress other people? Perhaps the media tells you that in order to be happy, you have to have the fastest car, the nicest watch, the latest designer dress. Do what makes you happy, not what others tell you.

It’s not about self-belief or positive thinking

 
Consider this scenario; you’ve decided to scale Mount Everest. You’re setting off with no strategy, equipment, guides and you’re unfit. Now, no amount of self-belief or positive thinking is going to get you to the top of that mountain. Modern stoicism is about setting realistic goals that are right for you and that are achievable.
You hear a lot of stories of successful business people where determination and positive thinking was the key to their success. They never gave up and it was their dogged self-belief that spurred them on. But when you consider that 9 out of 10 start-ups fail, it’s obviously not about believing in yourself. It’s about getting the right idea in the first place.

Distinguish whether the situation is under your control or not

 
If something is starting to bother you, try and distinguish whether it is one of those things that’s under your control or not. Think about this as a line that divides the actions of anything that’s out of your control on one side, and your thoughts about those actions on the other side. Then whatever is bothering you, place it either side of the line. Now, you’ve distinguished which one it is, is there anything you can do about it?
For example, a shop assistant is rude to you in the store. You immediately feel angry, but you can’t control the assistant’s actions. Perhaps they are busy and under stress? What you can dois complain about their behaviour to their manager, or you can ask them to explain their rude behaviour.
By dividing what you can control and can’t takes the pressure off you. It removes emotion from situations. It’s actually very freeing. It’s not about letting people off the hook for being rude or aggressive, it’s more about living your life without the pressure of feeling responsible for everything that happens in the world.
My final point is that if you want to start practising modern stoicism, every morning, think about the day ahead, the possible traps you might encounter. Just be ready for them and remember that you can’t control everything, but you can control how you feel about things.
 
References:
  1. http://www.bbc.com
  2. https://www.independent.co.uk
 

 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

About the Author: Janey Davies.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.

 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 21:12
Domingo, 16 / 06 / 19

What Is Introverted Thinking and How It Is Different from Extroverted One ~ Janey Davies.

What Is Introverted Thinking and How It Is Different from Extroverted One.

By Janey Davies.

June 15th, 2019.

 
 

 



 

Did you know that the Myers-Briggs Personality Theory uses our way of thinking to separate us into introverted and extroverted individuals?

If this is a surprise to you, then you’re not the only one. I thought the personality traits of introverts and extroverts extended only to external behaviour. For example, the way we act around others, whether we like social contact or whether we prefer to be left alone.
For instance, a typical introvert will tire easily in company and find solitude the best way to recharge their batteries. On the other hand, extroverts love to be the centre of attention and find alone time hard to deal with.
However, I didn’t realise that we could also think in an introverted or extroverted way. So what exactly is introverted thinking?
You might imagine that when we think, we do so in a kind of social and personal vacuum, but that’s far from the truth. Every experience, every connection, every person we’ve ever met colours our thinking process. As a result, when we think, we bring up all this knowledge and it shapes our thoughts.
So, it stands to reason that someone who is, by nature, more of an introverted person is not suddenly going to start thinking in an extroverted way. But it’s actually more complicated than that. There are very clear differences between introverted and extroverted thinking. And some you might not have thought of.

Differences between Introverted Thinking and Extroverted Thinking

Introverted Thinkers:

  • Focus on what’s in their head
  • Deep thinkers
  • Prefer concepts and theories
  • Good with solving problems
  • Use precise language
  • Natural followers
  • Get projects moving
  • Need to know how things work
Examples of Introverted Thinkers:
Albert Einstein, Charles Darwin, Larry Page (Co-founder of Google), Simon Cowell, Tom Cruise.
Introverted thinkers don’t mind mess and chaos because it allows them to sift through the mess to find answers. They like to analyse a situation before they make a decision.
They will gather all the necessary information they have on the subject, measure it carefully against what they already know, and see if it corresponds or not. Any new information gets stored for later use, anything that’s incorrect gets tossed.
They continue to work in this way, re-evaluating every situation until they are satisfied they have the right conclusion. Having said that, they are always open to new information because at the end of the day they want the truth.
They have an almost obsessive need to know how things work and, as a result, are renowned for coming up with new inventions. They understand complex theories which they can then use in the real world.

Extroverted Thinkers

  • Focus on the real world
  • Logical thinkers
  • Prefer facts and objectives
  • Good with planning and organising projects
  • Use commanding language
  • Natural leaders
  • Get people moving
  • Need to know how people work
Examples of Extroverted Thinkers
Julius Caesar, Napoleon Bonaparte, Martha Stewart, Judge Judy, Uma Thurman, Nancy Pelosi (US Speaker of the House).
Extroverted thinkers can’t stand mess. They are typically much-organised people who need to know where everything is before they can either start work or begin to relax. You won’t find an extrovert with a messy desk. Moreover, if you are messy and disorganised, just ask one to help you and you won’t ever regret it.
Extroverts are direct people and this applies to their approach to life. They won’t faff about. They make quick decisions, take the fastest route or skip lunch to make a meeting. They plan in advance, schedule appointments and know exactly when their train or bus is due to arrive.
Also, they stick with what they know and don’t like new information because it might mess up their carefully thought-out plans.

5 Signs You Might Be an Introverted Thinker

ISTPs & INTPs use introverted thinking.
  1. You don’t believe everything you read.
Do you find you are always fact-checking before you repost on Facebook? Did you question your tutors at school? Do you take things with a pinch of salt? These are all signs of introverted thinking.
  1. You like to take your time when making a decision
No one can accuse you of making rash decisions or acting on impulse. You won’t be rushed when it comes to important decisions.
  1. You’re not afraid of arguing your point of view.
Some people don’t like confrontation, but that’s not you. If you believe you are right, you’ll back yourself, even if it makes you unpopular.
  1. Sometimes you find it hard to explain your position
Just because it makes sense to you doesn’t mean it’s easy to tell someone else.
  1. You don’t follow normal societal routines
People that follow their own path, whether it’s getting up late and working until midnight, or going vegan, natural rule breakers are internal thinkers.
 

5 Signs You Might Be an Extroverted Thinker

ENTJs and ESTJs use extroverted thinking.
  1. You like facts and figures
You have a tendency to believe and trust people. You look to experts to give you advice and you’re happy to follow it.
  1. You can’t bear people who procrastinate
There’s no ‘doing it tomorrow when you can do it today’ for you. In fact, you don’t get the point of putting something off and you can’t understand why someone would.
  1. You’ll make a decision quickly
People can rely on you in a crisis because of your quick thinking and the fact that you are not afraid of making hard choices.
  1. You are able to vocalise your thoughts
You can easily externalise your inner thoughts to others. It’s part of how you can communicate easily and get the job done.
  1. You like rules and regulations
Following the rules allows things to run smoothly and that lets you plan and organise your world more efficiently.
Did you recognise yourself in any of the above descriptors? If you want to know more, why not see which Myers-Briggs personality type you are?
 
References:

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

About the Author: Janey Davies.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
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publicado por achama às 05:30
Terça-feira, 11 / 06 / 19

Karl Marx’s Conflict Theory and What It Reveals about Today’s Society ~ Janey Davies.

Karl Marx’s Conflict Theory and What It Reveals about Today’s Society.

By Janey Davies.

June 10th, 2019.

 
 

 



 

Brexit has caused deep divisions in households in the UK. In France, the ‘gilets jaunes’ are threatening to bring the country to a standstill over rising fuel costs. Can conflict theory help us understand why?
If you’ve noticed that the world seems to be getting a lot less tolerant these days, then conflict theory might have the answer.

What Is Conflict Theory?

Its premise is simple. Developed by Karl Marx, it suggests that society exists in a perpetual state of conflict, rather than harmony.
This is because we are all competing for the same, finite resources. In other words, for each social resource, there is a potential for conflict.
Marx stated that the wealthy in society will always protect their resources and keep them hidden away. The poor will try and obtain wealth using any means necessary.
As a result, there is a constant struggle between these two groups – the rich and the poor. Both individuals and groups within society will strive to benefit themselves over others.
Karl Marx conflict theory
Main Points of Conflict Theory:
  • Limited resources lead to competition between groups in society.
  • These groups are the rich ruling class or the poor working class.
  • The competition is usually economic or social with the ruling class dominating over the working class.
Let’s explore each of the main points in more detail.

1. Competition for resources

There are three types of resource that cause conflict:
  1. Economic resources
  2. Power resources
  3. Status resources
The most obvious resource in society is money. Wealth frees you from stress, worry, it provides you with a better life, more choices.
We all know what money can give us. Money buys you a big house. The opportunity to live in a nice area. The chance to go to a good school, to get a good education. Once you have good qualifications, you can get a better job. This perpetuates the circle of wealth.
Of course, resources don’t just include money. They are also those intangible things like time and social status. For example, a poor, working-class woman in a coercive relationship is not going to have the same opportunities as a single man with rich parents.
Therefore, it is important to understand that there are different types of struggles for resources.

2. The types of groups competing

Marx suggested two types of groups involved in the competition for resources.
  • The wealthy, the ruling class or the bourgeoisie.
  • The poor, working class or the proletariat.
The bourgeoisie account for a very small percentage of the population, but they have the power and resources. As a result, they use this power to influence and dominate the larger majority of the proletariat.
This is the pyramid theory in which a small group at the top control the power of all the other members of society below them. They achieve this in several ways. They take control of the media, they focus attention away from themselves and they will target minority groups for society’s problems.

3. Types of competition – economic and social

interpersonal conflict
So the two groups are the rich and the poor and they are competing for wealth, but they are also competing on a social level too. So what does that mean?
Take the relationship between an employer and a worker. The employer can keep wages stagnating for years, cut worker’s benefits, freeze overtime and stop pay rises. All the worker has is his or her labour to sell as a commodity. They don’t own the factory or the business. They are at the whim of the owners.
Ultimately, the owners want to get the most out of their workers with it costing them the least amount. The same applies to a tenant and a landlord. Their relationship in society is unequal. The landlord wants the most they can get for the property, no matter how nice their tenants are. Therefore there will always be conflict.

Conflict in today’s world

German sociologist Max Weber expanded on Marx’s theory. He suggested that people would be affected on many more levels, which included gender, race, education, class and social mobility. He also inferred that some might not be affected at all. Others might be influenced by the very people in power over them.
For example, if a popular leader made unpopular decisions, how would the masses react? It’s possible they would react favourably. So it’s safe to say that this theory is multi-layered and dependant on many factors, not just class and wealth.

Conflict and the Gilets Jaunes

So are we any closer to explaining the polarised views of Brexit or the protests in France? Well, yes. If the interests of an opposing group become too oppressive, then the opposed group will mobilise.
They will share a sense of belonging and social membership. They’ll create boundaries between those who belong and those don’t. Some will feel so incensed that they’ll take action.
In fact, the conflict itself tends to create a sense of solidarity and pull in others who might not ordinarily join the fight. We can see this with the gilets jaunes of France.
What began as a peaceful protest against a rise in fuel tax has now morphed into something completely different. Not only that but it has grown into a much larger anti-government movement. The protesters believe that you are either with them or against them.

Conflict and Brexit

As for Brexit, the result of the UK referendum is still a huge cause for arguments in Britain. People’s emotions are highly charged. There’s a lot of black and white thinking on this subject.
Those who voted Remain believe they are right and so do those who voted Leave. Moreover, neither will listen to opposing views. With such a small difference in the result of the Leave vote (4%), you’d think people in the UK could find some common ground.
But no. We cement our own ideologies as the truth and the way forward all the while demonising our opponents. We’ve become self-righteous and feel completely justified in our actions. What we don’t realise is that we have now become as bad as our oppressors.

How to Use Conflict Theory to Resolve Disagreements

So let’s apply the theory to human relationships and problems. What we can agree on is that the most important factor is a sense of inequality. Remember the inequality can be real or imagined, it could have happened a minute ago or be centuries old.
  • Conflict is not a contest. If you go into an argument to win at all costs, you are not going to resolve the conflict.
  • Look at the problem from the other person’s perspective. This means putting yourself in their shoes.
  • Find out the root of the inequality. Is it financial, a question of time, education, insecurity?
  • Be open-minded about resolutions and solutions. Your partner or colleague might have an idea of how to resolve the conflict.
  • Listen to the other person. When people feel listened to and validated they are more likely to open up and the level of trust increases.
  • Leave emotion out. Be matter-of-fact when discussing a possible solution. Conflict increases when emotions rise.
  • Focus on the problem, not the person. It helps to take the personality out of the equation and keep your attention on the source of the conflict.
  • Don’t criticise, respect. Nothing shuts down a conversation more than criticism. However, showing respect does the opposite.
We can’t eliminate conflict from our world. But we can change the way we deal with it. This theory shows us that understanding the reasons behind conflict will help us negotiate our waythrough it more effectively.
References:
  1. https://www.investopedia.com
  2. http://www.csun.edu
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

About the Author: Janey Davies.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 14:47
Quinta-feira, 06 / 06 / 19

When Blaming Others for Your Failures, Consider These Uncomfortable Truths ~ Sherrie.

When Blaming Others for Your Failures, Consider These Uncomfortable Truths.

By Sherrie.

June 6th, 2019

 

Excruciating pain at a turning point of our lives will make us stop blaming others. Until then, we will be empty.
Thinking back as far as I can pick out times when I refused to take the blame for things. I remember tantrums in my teenage years, but usually, it was because I didn’t get something I wanted. I think blaming others came later on during my early adulthood when I blamed my shortcomings on the way I was being treated.

Why are we prone to blaming others?

Yes, negative treatment will make you feel victimized, and you will blame others for your future misfortune, but at some point, you must take responsibility. But there are darker, more selfish reasons for blaming everything on others.
Let’s take a look at why we do this hurtful thing, shall we?

1. To attack others

As heartbreaking as it is, attacking others is a way of hurting them to avoid taking responsibility. When approached about something they’ve done, irresponsible people become defensive and lash out.
They don’t have to be a narcissistic person. They could just be afraid of the consequences of their bad behavior, and they’re looking for a way out of the mess. Placing blame on others and flipping the situation may have become a natural defense mechanism.

2. Truth found in narcissistic behavior

I know a man, who, when angry, claims to feel no remorse for his outbursts. You can see the lack of empathy when he yells and throws tantrums that I recognize from my children’s early years.
The first time I heard this outburst, I was taken aback – I was shocked by the pitch and tone of his bellows. Something shifted between us in that moment.
I’ve heard this very man call others narcissists, when in fact, he fit much of the characteristics of this toxic personality. The truth is, it wasn’t always his fault, he was raised to take no responsibility for his actions. He used blaming all others as the only way he could feel healthy self-esteem.

3. Why can’t we accept failures?

I want you to know that it’s okay to be imperfect, and it’s also okay to let the world know this. Failure is just a part of life, and being open and honest about your shortcomings is a step toward growth and strength. It’s a strength that no one can take away from you. It’s an inner honesty with who we really are.
When we cannot accept failure, we cannot accept that we are imperfect. Most people who do this have created a facade that they show others. If someone manages to get close enough to them and sees the truth, they will lash out.
This is because the perfection they display is being threatened to be revealed. This can be devastating to those who are stuck in blaming and shaming others.

4. It’s easy and it’s lazy

It’s so much easier to blame all others for your mistakes. After all, who wants to take the time for self-analysis? We don’t want the consequences that come with being caught in a shady situation or making a mistake when brushing it off with lies ends the conversation faster.
Most of the time, unfortunately, those who play the blame game learned this dynamic early in life, and use it all through adulthood.
They alienate partners and fail at long-term relationships. They are sometimes remarkably gifted at hiding this about themselves, sometimes as long as two years into the union, but after that, the mask starts to fall off revealing some of the most childish and heinous behavior you have ever seen.

5. There’s no moral compass

Usually, those who have the habit of blaming and criticizing others are doing so to have the freedom to act in any way they want. They cover up things, they lie, and they avoid any sort of confrontation at all costs.
If they are religious or spiritual, they love to attend worship services as long as love is the subject of teaching. But as soon, as self-discipline and accountability are introduced, they proclaim they are being controlled.
Morality, standards, dignity, and loyalty, among others, are things they purposely overlook. After all, these things will interfere in their agenda, as I stated before. So, they start to downgrade spiritual aspects in life, but they do not convict themselves for the things they need to fix in their lives.
As frightening as it may seem, the doctrine they once followed will change according to their selfish needs instead of doing the right thing.

Hope for individuals who blame their actions on others

While it’s not easy to change what’s learned between birth and 7 years of age, psychology states that these years are the most impressionable years of a person’s life. What they are taught frame how they will approach things during their later life. So, this means, blaming others has become a deep imprint.
To help those who always blame their failures on others, therapy, intervention, and accountability is a must. At home, be careful not to fall victim to fear when they grow furious. Don’t invade their space, but certainly stand your ground.
Remember, it’s okay to feel a little sad when we fail, but it’s not okay to pass the buck to another. Let’s strive to be better people.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://hbr.org
 
 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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publicado por achama às 17:48
Quarta-feira, 29 / 05 / 19

6 Signs You Are in a Narcissistic Relationship and What to Do. ~ Rachael Pace

6 Signs You Are in a Narcissistic Relationship and What to Do.

Rachael Pace, Guest Author learning-mind.com

May 28, 2019. 

 
narcissistic relationship signs.

 

 

Being in a narcissistic relationship is hardly ideal. While your partner is the center of attention at all times, you probably feel like your needs could use a little dusting off.
narcissistic personality disorder is a condition of the mind where one person has an inflated sense of self, a constant need for attention, and lacks empathy for others. They may also be incredibly charming, manipulative, and toxic when it comes to being in a relationship.
Don’t let someone’s inflated ego ruin your chance at happiness. How to recognize if you are in a relationship with a narcissist?

These are 6 warning signs that you are in a narcissistic relationship and ways how you can fix things.

  1. They need constant praise and attention

Narcissists have delusions of grandeur, so it isn’t surprising that one of the most common signs of narcissistic personality disorders is the need for praise from their partners.
A narcissist wants their spouse to acknowledge their talents, appearance, intelligence, and achievements on an almost constant basis.
All partners love when their spouse makes them feel special. However, such needy behavior of a narcissistic person can be detrimental to a relationship in many ways.
  1. The charm turns on and off

One thing about narcissists is that they know how to charm their partners. Because of their excessive need to be liked and adored, they will know exactly how to come off as put-together, likable, and endearing. Such behavior will, of course, inflate their ego.
But once the honeymoon period is over, a narcissist will reveal their true colors. Some examples include sulking when you disagree with them, getting angry over the smallest things, and seemingly losing any interest in pretending to care about what you are thinking or feeling.
  1. Demeaning toward others

Is there anything more distasteful than someone treating others as their lesser?
Because a narcissist views themselves as superior to others, they will often demean people around them. They will obsess over the negative parts of others’ personalities, lives, and backgrounds. They judge others relentlessly.
Not only is this damaging to your mental health, but this can also be embarrassing when introducing your spouse to your friends or family. It can also be challenging when dealing with people who work in the service industry, such as at restaurants or hotels.
  1. Zero empathy

Any family psychologist will tell you that developing empathy and compassion for your partner is essential for a healthy relationship.
Empathy means that you feel for your partner. It means you have a fellow-feeling for those around you or at the very least, for those closest to you.
Unfortunately, a lack of empathy is incredibly common in narcissistic personalities. It is what allows them to disconnect from you emotionally and be cruel without thinking twice.
  1. There is no compromise

Whether they’re trying to make their spouse stay in the relationship or are convincing them that they are on the wrong side of an argument, narcissists know how to manipulate.
Instead of coming together to communicate about how you are feeling or resolve any issues you’re having, a narcissist will overreact at even the slightest sign of your disagreeing with them.
  1. You feel bad about yourself

Relationships should make you feel good, not worthless. Gaslighting, or manipulating a partner to the point that they question their own judgment or sanity, is a common practice of toxic abusers. It can leave you feeling like you don’t even know who you are anymore.
While in a relationship with a narcissistic person, you may:
  • Feel like everything you do is wrong
  • Find yourself apologizing all the time
  • Constantly question yourself
  • Feel anxious and nervous around your spouse
  • Frequently apologize/make excuses for your spouse’s behavior
  • Become isolated from friends and family
  • Feel like you’re walking on eggshells

What to do when you’re dating a narcissist

Being part of a healthy relationship means that both partners are 100 percent willing to share their lives, thoughts, and time together. This is what creates a long-lasting, strong marriage.
If you have been dating a narcissistic personality for some time now, you are likely growing tired of the lack of give-and-take in your relationship. If that is the case, there are steps you can take for moving forward:
  • Make a decision to end your relationship

After months or years of dealing with manipulation and ego-trips, odds are your close friends and family would not blame you for throwing in the towel.
Typical narcissistic behavior is that if you try and end the relationship, they will either try and manipulate you into staying or turn on the charm in the hopes of winning back your favor.
Don’t buy it.
You deserve better than to be with someone who isn’t actually interested in being a part of your life.
  • If you live together, start withdrawing emotionally, little by little.

It’s also wise to start putting away a nest-egg of cash for when you do leave. You may also consider seeking the support of a lawyer, a trusted friend or family member. You may also need law enforcement when you finally leave to help prevent any violent outbursts.
If your spouse’s narcissistic behavior has turned dangerous to your mental or physical health, it’s time to call it quits. Once your partner has been abusive, it is likely that they will repeat the same behavior if you decide to cross them.
Even if you don’t but they feel threatened by you, they will not flinch before engaging in abusive behavior. There is no turning back from abuse. If you have been subjected to narcissistic abuse, you must gather help and resources to get out of the relationship.

You are the best judge of your relationship.

Exercise discretion to know if there is a hope for things to change for better or is your partner a looming threat to your well being.
However, keep in mind that narcissistic personality disorder is something that can be acquired during the growing ages. It isn’t easy to get rid off and sometimes, it’s completely impossible.
Even if you see some hope of resurrecting your relationship, exercise caution. Narcissists excel in the art of pretention and they can easily fool you into believing they can change. But that’s hardly possible, ever.
 
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Rachael Pace is a noted writer currently associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of her motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying about today’s evolving forms of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on all types of romantic connections. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.
 
 



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publicado por achama às 20:33
Domingo, 19 / 05 / 19

7 Signs of Ignorant People Who Just Pretend to Be Smart ~ Sherrie.

7 Signs of Ignorant People Who Just Pretend to Be Smart.

By Sherrie.

May 18th, 2019

 

Some people appear to be intelligent, but usually, these individuals are more ignorant than smart. There are ways to tell.
Have you ever met someone who seemed to know everything? Well, if you’re a bit naïve or just young, you might believe the things they say. However, if you use your head, your actual intelligence, and experience, you might find that these are actually ignorant people.

Are these people intelligent or ignorant?

I’ve personally been in the company of a few people who just weren’t as smart as they proclaim. And yes, when I was young, I fell for their self-proclaimed smarts. Now, I am older and I can sense when someone has no clue about their so-called facts.
Let me show you how you can tell the difference between truly intelligent individuals and those who are just ignorant and uneducated people.

1. Being Fake

One of the most common ways to fake intelligence is by trying to prove it. People who present themselves as intelligent, and push their form of intelligence on others are actually not that smart.
I’ve seen people who always seem to know facts about things they’ve never encountered or known. They put on a show and try to convince everyone of their authenticity. They want to be seen as smart, but the truth is, they’re not. If you’re not careful, you can also fall into this trap.

2. They don’t think of the future

Most people who pretend to be smart will always live for instant pleasure. Yes, it’s great to enjoy every day as it comes, but it’s also just as important to think in the long term.
Ignorant thoughts of people revolve around what they can get now and not what the future holds. They usually don’t have a plan “b” either, which also involves preparing for altered paths….which will also be governed by what the future brings.
Always make sure you balance thoughts of now and thoughts of the future as well. This boosts your intelligence.

3. Don’t apply their own principles

People who are ignorant but think they are smart are prone to neglect responsibilities. These are not just ordinary responsibilities, these are tasks and principles they have set for other people in their lives.
For instance, if they preach about being honest, and yet they tell lies, they are just not smart people. On the exterior, however, they project that they are really intelligent in their speeches for change. Listen up! Be honest and you will be 10 times more intellectual.

4. There is no critical thinking

Those who give advice but do not look within are devoid of critical thinking. Critical thinking is when you ask yourself if you’re doing the same things that others are doing.
If you are offended by someone’s insults, then ask yourself, “Do I insult people as well?” If you don’t ever do analyze your own actions and words, then you’re not as intelligent as you think, and you sure don’t let people know this fact.

5. They like dramatic events and relationships

When ignorant groups of people get together, they enjoy gossip. Most of this gossip revolves around the drama that happens in their lives, whether it’s about work or something at home.
You can see the lack of intelligence as they laugh about the misfortune of others. What they fail to understand is that this same misfortune or something similar can happen to them as well. But they just don’t have the intellect to consider this fact.

6. They listen less and speak more

Those who are really ignorant types of people just have to get their point across all the time. When they’re with friends or family, they tend to hog the spotlight will tales of their accomplishments and good deeds.
When others want to talk, ignorant individuals often interrupt and change the topic back to the same old story they’ve been telling.
Smart people listen, I mean really listen to what others have to say, giving room to hear and yet develop their own thoughts and opinions quietly. So remember, listen and learn.

7. Envious of other people

Ignorant and selfish people are often jealous of others. I don’t necessarily mean jealousy as in relationships. They are jealous and envious of the accomplishments of others.
Instead of striving toward their own goals, they often copy or try to steal recognition because of their envy. It’s the ignorance that’s hidden by the attempt to seem smart in their endeavors.
They will definitely take credit for their behavior in this area. Just be happy for others and focus on your own accomplishments.

No, you’re not as smart as you think you are

If you fall into any of these categories, you should check yourself. By the way, staying away from this behavior and actually asking help from others makes you smarter. Continuing to learn things about life is also a great way to boost your intelligence instead of keeping what you have and faking it.
Some people may be fooled for a while, but they will eventually recognize ignorant people for who they really are. So, if you are trying to fool others with your fake intelligenceit will not work forever.
Here’s a challenge if you suffer from this. Take some time to learn, ask, and become more selfless. In the process, your intelligence will grow and you will actually become just as smart as you think you are…maybe even smarter. It’s just a thought.
References:
  1. https://www.lifehack.org
  2. https://www.dailymail.co.uk

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 05:08
Quinta-feira, 09 / 05 / 19

How to Deal with a Psychopath with These 6 Science-Backed Strategies ~ Sherrie.

How to Deal with a Psychopath with These 6 Science-Backed Strategies.

By Sherrie.

May 8th, 2019


Science says it’s incredibly difficult to cure psychopathy, but there are ways we can deal with a psychopath and keep ourselves safe.
Upon reading the scientific studies on the psychopath, I learned one important fact: most curable psychopaths are juveniles.
It seems that learning how to deal with a psychopath and even curing them lies in reconstructing the brain of the young adult. This gives them time to grow older with a better mindset and view of reality. That’s because the sad part of this illness is that it’s an engraved and permanent part of the human being.

Scientific views on dealing with a psychopath

Science has learned a great deal about psychopaths. Let’s go back to the studies a moment. There is a theory that hippocampus, a horseshoe-shaped region of the brain, may be the reason for the malfunctioning. This area is called the paralimbic system and it overlaps other areas that control functions such as decision-making, feelings, and emotions.
Considering scientists have detected these indicators of psychotic regions in 5-year-olds, it stands to reason that psychotics are born the way they are. This is why curing the condition is so complex.
Want to see what a psychopathic person looks like? Well, here are a few characteristics:
  • No guilt/no conscience
  • No empathy/no loyalty/no concern for others
  • Blame shifting
  • Cunning behavior
  • Bored and always seeking stimulation/attention
  • Need to control
  • Arrogance
  • Entitlement
  • Lies and manipulation
Robert Hare, an expert in Psychopathy, defines the psychopathic person like this,
…social predators who charm, manipulate, and ruthlessly plow their way through life…Completely lacking in conscience and feeling for others, they selfishly take what they want and do as they please, violating social norms and expectations without the slightest sense of guilt or regret.
Wow, sounds scary, doesn’t it? Unfortunately, you’ve probably read through some of these and recognized them in the people you love. This is heartbreaking. Here’s something else that’s heartbreaking:
Many psychiatrists refuse to treat psychopaths. In fact, they are, in some ways, intimidated by this mindset. With that, how can you possibly stomach being around such a person? I guess it seems impossible, right.

Well, there are a few ways we can deal with someone who might be a psychopath.

1. Some people are just bad for you

You must accept the fact that not everyone means you well. Some people do not have a conscience. If you understand how psychiatrists wouldn’t want to deal with someone diagnosed as a psychopath, then why would you?
You aren’t any greater or worse than the rest of us, and I’m sorry, you cannot save everybody. Sometimes, you just have to stay away from the ones who continually hurt you.
If, by chance, you must be around a psychopath for any given time, remember to guard your weaknessesPsychopaths are experts at discovering your weak points, and they will exploit them quickly. They will use these weaknesses to make them stronger, and they will not care about the hurt they leave behind.

2. Depend on actions to reveal the truth

When it comes to dealing with the words of the psychopath, you must match these words with their actions. Someone may say they love you, but do their actions say the same?
This can be true in many situations as well. You must watch actions and don’t put so much credibility into the words people say to you. Those can just be beautiful lies.
There are three things you can watch out for, lies, irresponsibility, and broken promisesThese are a few indicators that you are dealing with a psychopath. Now deal with it properly. Stay vigilant and stay smart.

3. The win-win situation

To deal with someone you suspect might be a psychopath, learn how to argue correctly. The FBI knows how to do this. Well, here’s a secret. When you’re arguing with a psychopath, and you should know they always win, offer a resolution that puts them in a good light.
For instance, if you don’t want to give the psychopath money, then offer to wait for a time when you can give them more money, or tell them about a gift you’ve planned for them, and the money is the only way you can purchase that gift.
While this might be a weak example, I think you get my drift. Let them think they win if they go your way, then you’ve secretly won the argument. This just helps you keep your dignity and good character.

4. Keep supportive friends and family

A psychopath is notorious at working other people against you. No matter what happens, everything is your fault, and they will make sure their friends and family know this.
So, you should make sure you have plenty of friends and family that see the things the psychopath does. This is sometimes extremely hard because while you are honest about your shortcomings, the psychopath hides his shortcomings under layers of lies and masks.
Even some of the closest people cannot see the truth of the psychopath. Again, make the closest friends you can and make sure they see the truth. If you have to, record a few times the psychopath does to you in secret. If you don’t take these measures, the psychopath will utterly destroy your reputation.

5. Remove body language

When you’re dealing with the infamous psychopath, you should remember an important fact: psychopaths read body language to gauge your feelings, weakness, and your intentions.
This is how they formulate an aggressive and domineering approach to every situation. Body language is hard to hide, but it can be done. Practice not wringing your hands when nervous, and not looking away when you’re intimidated.
Take away the body language and the psychopath loses a bit of power they depend upon to dupe you. As they realize they cannot read you, they will probably go away or at least, respect you.
But even this appearance of respect should never be trusted. Just take it at face value and walk away. This way you end any conversation with dignity.

6. Pay attention to warnings

I know it’s not right to listen to rumors about people, but my daddy always said, “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.” So taking information lightly is good, but please, do your research into the rumors you’re hearing.
I have actually done background checks on people that made me nervous or had bad reputations. It’s okay as long as you do not go overboard. Here’s the next step.
When you get the opportunity to meet the person you were warned about, check for any signs that match what you’ve been told.
If you see what I call, “red flags” then maybe you should get far away, especially if they are rumored to have psychopathic qualities. When it comes to psychopathic dealings, you should always be diligent.

Just be careful

So, now you know what a psychopath is and how they operate, and you know their characteristics as well. Now, keep your eyes open and be prepared to know how to deal with a psychopath if one comes your way.
If you’re already in a relationship with a psychopath or you have a psychopathic family member, then remember these tips. They just might save your sanity, your reputation, and your life as well.
I wish you well.
References:
  1. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
  2. http://cicn.vanderbilt.edu

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 17:04
Quinta-feira, 09 / 05 / 19

25 Profound Little Prince Quotes Every Deep Thinker Will Appreciate ~ Kirstie Pursey.

25 Profound Little Prince Quotes Every Deep Thinker Will Appreciate.

By Kirstie Pursey

May 7th, 2019. 

 
The Little Prince, by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, is a children’s story with some very profound meanings and some quotes that will really make you think.
 

I have to admit that I never read the Little Prince as a child.

I think I wouldn’t have known what to make of it if I did. Even reading it as an adult I didn’t know what to make of it!
However, it is clear that The Little Prince touches on some very deep themes about the nature of life, love, friendship and more. The following Little Prince quotes show just how many philosophical themes are discussed in this small, but profound work.
The story tells of a pilot who crashes into the Sahara desert. He is attempting to fix his damaged plane when a little boy appears as if from nowhere and demands that he draws him a sheep. Thus begins a strange, enigmatic friendship that is both heartwarming and heartbreaking.
The Little Prince, it turns out, comes from a small asteroid where he is the only living being apart from a rather demanding rose bush. The Little Prince decides to leave his home and visit other planets to find knowledge.
The story tells of these encounters with rulers of strange worlds and de Saint-Exupéry has opportunities to demonstrate some philosophical themes that will make readers think.
On earth, as well as meeting the pilot, The Little price meets a Fox and  Snake. The fox helps him to truly understand the rose and the snake offers him a way to return to his home planet.
But his return journey comes at a high price. The book’s bittersweet ending is both thought-provoking and emotional. I would definitely recommend that you read The Little Prince if you haven’t already.
It is one of the most beautiful and profound children’s books there are. If you have older children, then you might like to read it with them as it can be a little overwhelming for them to read alone.

In the meantime, here are some of the best and most thought-provoking Little Prince quotes:

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
“A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.”
“All grown-ups were once children… but only a few of them remember it.”
“Well, I must endure the presence of a few caterpillars if I wish to become acquainted with the butterflies.”
“Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.”
“The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.”
“It is much more difficult to judge oneself than to judge others. If you succeed in judging yourself rightly, then you are indeed a man of true wisdom.”
“It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.”
“I am who I am and I have the need to be.”
“No one is ever satisfied where he is.”
“One day, I watched the sun setting forty-four times……You know…when one is so terribly sad, one loves sunsets.”
“People where you live, the little prince said, grow five thousand roses in one garden… Yet they don’t find what they’re looking for… And yet what they’re looking for could be found in a single rose.”
“But the conceited man did not hear him. Conceited people never hear anything but praise.”
“What matters most are the simple pleasures so abundant that we can all enjoy them…Happiness doesn’t lie in the objects we gather around us. To find it, all we need to do is open our eyes.”
“Where are the people?” resumed the little prince at last. “It’s a little lonely in the desert…” “It is lonely when you’re among people, too,” said the snake.”
“What makes the desert beautiful,’ said the little prince, ‘is that somewhere it hides a well…”
“For me, you are only a little boy just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you have no need of me, either. For you, I’m only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, we’ll need each other. You’ll be the only boy in the world for me and I’ll be the only fox in the world for you.”
“To forget a friend is sad. Not everyone has had a friend.”
“Only the children know what they are looking for.”
“Sometimes, there is no harm in putting off a piece of work until another day.”
“I should have judged her according to her actions, not her words.”
“Nevertheless he is the only one of them all who does not seem to me ridiculous. Perhaps that is because he is thinking of something else besides himself.”
“The one thing I love in life is to sleep.”
“The machine does not isolate man from the great problems of nature but plunges him more deeply into them.”
“And when your sorrow is comforted (time soothes all sorrows) you will be content that you have known me.”

Closing thoughts

I hope you have enjoyed these Little Prince quotes. Admittedly, they are sometimes difficult to fathom at first. However, like many things in life, the more you think about them, the more they begin to make sense.
This is not an easy book to read and the bittersweet ending may leave you feeling a little heartbroken. However, the book offers so many insights into the human condition that it is well worth the time spent thinking about the philosophical ideas contained between the covers.

We’d love to hear your favourite quotes from the Little Prince. Please share them with us in the comments below.

 

 

 

 

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.


About the Author: Kirstie Pursey



Kirstie works as a writer, blogger and storyteller and lives in London with her family of people, dogs and cats. She is a lover of reading, writing, being in nature, fairy lights, candles, firesides and afternoon tea. Kirstie has trouble sitting still which is why she created www.notmeditating.com to share techniques and practices for tuning out the busy mind. She is also the author of Not Meditating: Finding Peace, Love and Happiness Without Sitting Still.


 



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publicado por achama às 16:50
Quarta-feira, 24 / 04 / 19

9 Signs of Superiority Complex You Could Have Without Even Noticing ~ Sherrie.

9 Signs of Superiority Complex You Could Have Without Even Noticing.

By Sherrie.

April 22, 2019


 

Many people have a superiority complex but just don’t recognize the signs. Now’s the time to see these imperfections as truth and improve.

Did you know that all of us have a certain amount of superiority? It’s just the few that let this part of us get out of hand. It’s called the superiority complex, a name penned by a man named Alfred Adler.
And here’s an interesting tidbit, Adler believed that the superior complex may be a way to deny the inferiority of an individual. You see, they are different sides of the same coin, but yet being superior may actually hide inferiority.

Recognizing the dysfunction

So, you can see how this becomes a balancing act. Feeling inferior and suffering superiority can be exhausting, but it must be done in order to live a productive life. Now, to start improvements in this area, you must understand the signs of this complex of superiority. Let’s examine these indicators:

1. Feelings of entitlement

The feeling of entitlement is hard to recognize in adults. This is because it came from a complicated childhood. For instance, a grandmother may give her grandchild all the material things he craves, but yet, may not give him the emotional and mental upbringing he needs.
Because of this, the child will grow to feel entitled to everything he wants. He wasn’t taught morals and standards, but yet, he was given everything. Do you see where this can lead to a spoiled brat with a lack of responsibilities?

2. “I” and “me”

Those with a superior type of complex will think in terms of themselves. When it comes to discussing events, situations, or relationships, they will center on self. I think another word for this condition is “self-centered”.
These individuals will always try to do better than others, and when they hear of someone’s accomplishments, they will try to do better and put themselves into the spotlight instead. If you see someone like this, realize, it’s more common than you think.

3. Making comparisons

Do you remember what I said about superiority being the denial of the inferiority complex? Well, this is true, and it shows when people make comparisons. When a person suffers from being too superior, they will often compare themselves to others. When others seem to be making more accomplishments, they will feel defeated. And, of course, this means, they must do something to change that.
Here’s an example: When someone has this complex, and they notice an achievement, they will often take up the same sport, hobby, or pastime in order to eventually do even better.
I’ve seen it happen first hand, and if you tell them that you notice, they will get angry andremain in denial. They like to say, “I’m just bettering myself”, which is good. But usually, you can make the connection and differentiate between the two.

4. Defy authorities

Many times, those who suffer from problems with superiority, will defy authority. They actually think they are above the law and can do whatever they please. Some of them think they will never be caught doing the wrong things. They are also secretive in friendships, with family, and in relationships.
All the social laws and constructs have no bearing on them. Some even think they could possibly be immortal. I know this is a bit far-fetched, but you would be surprised just how far their superiority will go.

5. Manipulation

Being able to manipulate is a common advantage for those who feel superior. They can use anger and threats to get what they want. It’s what those who feel entitled use as one of their greatest weapons. But manipulation isn’t just used during entitlement, oh no.
Manipulation can be used in connection with narcissism and unhealthy relationship issues. One of the worst areas of manipulation is when they use the guilt trip to make you feel bad for standing up for yourself.

6. Lack of empathy

People with a superior complex usually have no empathy for others. They don’t care for others or try to understand the situations of others. Their lack of empathy creates a cold and calculating individual who clearly feels better than others around them.
Their feelings and concerns are the only things that matter, and so, they will always come before others. For those whose intuition is strong, they will blatantly deny any truths targeted toward their superiority dysfunction.

7. Condescending behavior

An unhealthy amount of superiority may be the reason why your friend or loved one speaks or acts in a condescending manner. They may assume they are smarter in conversations and offer definitions for words they feel are too complicated for their group to understand.
They may gossip about others they feel are beneath them or refuse to associate with certain people – sometimes it’s low-income individuals which they avoid. There are many ways the condescending manner works for them.

8. Mood swings

Considering superiority is sometimes a cover up for inferiority, it would stand to reason that these feelings collide and conflict with each other. This struggle creates great mood swings. In one moment, they may feel better than others, and the other moment, they may feel far below other individuals. These mood swings can lead to depression.

9. Controlling behavior

Most of the time, those with a superior type of complex will want to be in controlFeeling out of control of any given situation is uncomfortable and sometimes even devastating. If they’ve lost control, they feel that they’ve lost their superior status. No longer can they call all the shots, and no longer are they the most important issue or person.

Turning things around

While it’s not easy to beat this complex of superiority, it is possible. Like I said before, it’s generally a balancing act. When you feel any of these characteristics with you, stop and ask why. Then work on reducing them as much as possible.
As for those you know someone with this complex, you can tell them what they’re doing and offer help and support. Then it’s up to them to decide to make that change. Take a little time and understand these points so you and your friends and family can benefit and even help others as well.
References:
  1. https://www.bustle.com
  2. https://news.umich.edu
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 17:57
Segunda-feira, 04 / 02 / 19

7 INTJ Personality Traits Most People Think Are Weird and Confusing ~ Margaret B.

What Is a Positive Bias and How It Distorts Your Perception of Other People.

By Margaret B.

January 26th, 2019. 

 

.

 

People with INTJ personality traits are quite rare and can be confusing.

The way people with INTJ personality traits interact with the world can be very strange to those around them. If you aren’t used to what is going on, you may find yourself lost in a sea of misunderstandings.
This article contains some of the ways in which INTJ personalities can be different from others and some explanations of this.

1. They need to be by themselves.

One of the most common INTJ personality traits is that they like their own company. The world is divided into extroverts and introverts, with extroverts being the majority. What many people find strange about INTJ people is that they like their own company.
Now that we have more reliance on digital devices, more people are on their own, of course. The stigma is still there though – INTJ personality traits are odd.
Everyone needs to have some alone time, nobody disputes that. It is when people start saying that they are happy to be alone. This is when the problems start. INTJ personality traits aren’t bad in and of themselves. But they can be taken as bad when other people don’t understand them.

2. They often don’t find romance until later in life.

While dating starts in the teenage years for most people, this isn’t true for everyone. The people who are alone are normally INTJ personalities. This is one of the INTJ personality traits that many people find confusing. They themselves like to be with someone in a special way; why not everyone else?
This is not a bad thing, in and of itself. Most people like this are happy. They want other people to be happy too. It is odd to them that someone can be happy without another person in their life.
Many people are happy on their own (including many people with INTJ personality traits). Many people need someone else in their lives to make them happy. INTJ can be anywhere in between. What is certain is that they are less likely to start as soon as other personality types.

3. They are easily annoyed.

People with INTJ personality traits are often easily annoyed. Quite a lot of people can get annoyed with certain events and people. INTJ personalities often have a whole series of events where everything can annoy them.
This is strange to many people because they don’t react the same way. Everyone has their own problems, but an INTJ personality seems to take everything absolutely personally. Some people might actually find this offensive if they assume that they are the cause of it.
INTJ personality traits can be strange and annoying to people who aren’t used to them. They can be strange and annoying to an INTJ too, who may not understand what is going on.

4. They can have sensory difficulties.

People with INTJ personality traits can have sensory difficulties. Most people do not have these issues. It can be very difficult to understand sensory difficulties when you don’t have them yourself.
People can be impatient when they face something they don’t understand. People with INTJ personality traits can be quite difficult to keep up. Sensory issues only make that more complicated. Normally people just have to work around being different personalities. Sensory issues add another dimension to the problem.

5. They can be hurtful

People who have INTJ personality traits can be very single-minded in pursuit of their goals. They can be so single-minded, in fact, that they can steamroller over everyone in their path.
This can lead to people feeling like an INTJ has deliberately targeted them. Hurt feelings make it a lot harder for people to listen to each other. This just exacerbates the problem and means that everyone ends up feeling hurt and left out.
INTJ personality traits aren’t for everyone. If you are going to be friends with an INTJ, then you need to be aware of the potential for this.

6. They cook differently.

People who are INTJ can sometimes see the world differently. The way they interact with the world is also different, and this can extend to cooking.
Many people cook in specific ways every time. Watching someone with INTJ personality traits cooking can be an education! They do things completely differently from other people, and sometimes from each other.
Cooking with an INTJ can be an experience for people who are only used to their own method and style. Try it sometime, if you have an INTJ friend! You could both learn something from how the other cooks.

7. They can leave suddenly.

When you are working on group work, or in a group activity, some INTJ people can get up and leave. This seems strange, but don’t worry. It has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with the person themselves. INTJ personality traits can sometimes mean that people are changeable in what they want.
Some people can change their minds about what they want to do. Some people won’t change their minds but find that they need a change of pace. Going off on their own for a while can help them keep their energy up. A small time to themselves, and they will return ready for more group time!
References:
  1. https://www.truity.com
  2. https://www.verywellmind.com
 
About the Author: Margaret B.
 
Margaret is a freelance writer and tutor. She spends her time reading and writing, hoping to learn why people act the way they do. She is a lifelong fan of both philosophy and fantasy.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 



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publicado por achama às 04:06
Segunda-feira, 28 / 01 / 19

10 Signs of Toxic Sibling Relationships Most People Think Are Normal ~ Janey Davies.

Has an Alien Signal Been Detected? SETI Research and the First Contact.

By Janey Davies.

January 27th, 2019. 

 
 
toxic sibling relationships
 

 

There’s no law that says we have to get on with our siblings. Thankfully, most of us have pretty good family dynamics. But some people have toxic sibling relationships.

So what’s the difference between say typical sibling rivalries to toxic sibling relationships?
Healthy sibling relationships are compassionate, loving, willing to listen and help. They are non-judgemental and caring. They want the best for their brothers and sisters. That’s why they are happy and pleased when their siblings achieve success. They are independent of their siblings but not distant from them.
Toxic sibling relationships are simply the opposite.

Here are 10 other signs of toxic sibling relationships:

 

1.They are the favourite child

Parents should not have favourite children. But was your sibling always praised and given the best opportunities in your family? Did they get away with murder? Did the rules not apply to them?
Favouritism can lead to narcissistic behaviour. When a child always gets want they want and is never made to feel the consequences of their actions, it gives them a false sense of superiority.

2.They are controlling

Do you feel like you always have to do what your sibling wants to do? If you don’t, they will sulk or get aggressive? In the end, it’s just easier to go with whatever they want?
This is a form of control. Whether it is what friends are suitable for you or the type of college course you should study. If you find that you are not able to make your own decisions without your sibling getting their way, this is a sign of coercive control.

3.You don’t feel you can say ‘no’ to them

This is another form of control, but it also impacts a great deal on your life. Do they get upset if you say no to one of their requests or demands? Do they make you feel guilty for saying no? Finally, do they play on your emotions and try and make you feel bad for not helping them?
This is typical behaviour of a younger sibling that has narcissistic tendencies.

4They manipulate you

People that think and act in a rational and logical way can quite often be deceived and manipulated easily because they just don’t think in that kind of devious way. Someone who is lazy and can’t be bothered to work themselves will use deception to resolve their issues instead.
The problem here is that, of course, families are supposed to help out one another, but not to the point where one person is always benefitting to the detriment of everyone else.

5.They are always right

No one is right all the time. We all have to have an open mind, even if we think we know the truth. But some people that believe that they know what is right and won’t listen to anyone else’s opinion.
This kind of closed mind can be exhausting and inevitably leads to arguments and breakdowns in a relationship. It also invalidates your feelings because you don’t feel as if your opinions and ideas are important or that they matter.

6.They ‘play’ you against your other siblings

Does one sibling constantly gossip or badmouth to you about your other brothers or sisters? Does this undermine your relationships with them? This is one of the worst signs of toxic sibling relationships as this behaviour can cause lasting damage.
They do this to elevate their own position by making their other siblings look bad in your eyes. This is because their own behaviour is not good enough by itself, so they have to trash the reputation of others in order to look better.

7.They dismiss your feelings

We need validation when we are feeling angry, unloved, frightened, anxious or sad. When someone does not take our feelings into account, they are telling us in effect that we don’t matter. We are not important.
Our emotions are what drive us, they are interwoven into every action or behaviour that we take. To have them ignored is extremely detrimental to our psyche.

8.They are constantly criticising you

Not only do toxic siblings like to trash their brothers and sisters to other siblings in the family dynamic, but they also like to make you feel bad about yourself. They do this by constantly criticising you.
They will judge every aspect of your life and find you wanting. Nothing you do will be good enough in their eyes. Their barrage of putdowns will have a cumulative effect until you begin spending less time with them to escape the mental battles.

9.They only ever contact you when they need something

You get friends like this, ones that you only get a phone call or a text when they need money or a shoulder to cry on. And it can be exactly the same with siblings.
Do you go for months without hearing from your sibling and then suddenly out of the blue, you get an email or phone call from them?
It will start off innocently enough, perhaps asking how you are, but then the real reason for the call will soon become apparent. They want something from you.

10.They make threats all the time

Making threats is a toxic behaviour in itself. Well-adjusted people don’t tend to have to make ultimatums in order to get what they want or need in life. If your sibling is constantly making threats, it shows they do not have the mental capacity or the patience to get what they desire in a civilised way.
So how do you deal with toxic sibling relationships? It may be too late to change their behaviour, but you can certainly do something about yours.

How to deal with toxic sibling relationships

Do not engage in bad behaviour, just ignore it. If you engage in it, it may encourage your sibling to carry on.

Surround yourself with positive people

 

Ignore toxic behaviour

It is easy to doubt yourself when you have a toxic sibling. But if you are with positive well-balanced people, you’ll be able to recognise bad behaviour immediately and not put up with it.

Set clear boundaries

Some toxic behaviour is quite intrusive and can take over a person’s life. By setting clear boundaries, you can regain control.

Sever contact if necessary

Finally, there’s no rule that you have to stay in close contact with your sibling. If the situation is really bad and affecting your health, it is best to sever contact.
Do you have a toxic relationship with your sibling that you would like to talk to us about? Let us know in the comments section.
References:
  1. https://www.bustle.com/
  2. https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/

 

About the Author: Janey D.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 



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publicado por achama às 06:57
Sábado, 26 / 01 / 19

What Is a Positive Bias and How It Distorts Your Perception of Other People ~ Margaret B.

What Is a Positive Bias and How It Distorts Your Perception of Other People.

By Margaret B.

January 26th, 2019. 

 

positive bias.

 

 

What is a positive bias, you ask? A positive bias is a tendency in humans to overestimate when good things will happen.

There is even a specific use of the term positive bias in research. It refers to when someone in research only publishes positive outcomes.
A positive bias is normally seen as a good thing – surely, it’s best to have a good outlook. But just because it is positive, it doesn’t mean we should ignore the ‘bias’ part.

A positive bias is still a pre-conceived notion.

These notions can be about abilities, personalities and values, or anything else. What matters is that they affect the way you view people, including someone you have never met before.
Many people miss this because they assume bias must be negative. This is not the case – it can be positive too. A positive characteristic still affects the way you see and interact with people.
A positive bias can be as harmful as a negative one. Any type of cognitive bias is unfair to the people who are on the receiving end of it. A bias, even a positive one, can restrict people, and keep them from their goals. It makes you act in specific ways, which is restrictive and unfair. People are individuals and they should be seen as such.
Many of us fall into the trap of feeling good about our positive biases, don’t we? After all, they aren’t negative, so what harm could they be? Think about your biases for a moment. What do they tell you about the people you are going to meet? What do they lead you to expect when you meet someone new?
Positive biases provide us with the illusion that we are tolerant, loving people. In fact, these positive biases are just the flip side of negative ideas and beliefs. They can be just as destructive to workplace relationships.
A positive bias can trick us into thinking we have no problems. Unfortunately, any kind of bias can have an impact on the way we work.

Biases work in a number of different ways:

 

They determine your perception

How you choose to see people – which bias you choose – determines your perceptions. A positive bias means that you put people in a different kind of box. It determines how you think about them. It determines how you react when they don’t act according to your preconceived notions.
A negative bias means that you can react negatively when your preconceptions are shattered. A positive bias works in much the same way. A positive bias is still limiting, even if we don’t see it that way. It limits both sides of the bias. It keeps us from fully appreciating the beauty of humanity. It also keeps the subject of our bias from fully being able to be human.

People use bias because we don’t like uncertainty

We put other people into tiny boxes because that works to make our lives easier. If we label someone, we can understand them. This is how a positive bias gets started.
Labelling people with a positive bias means that you are much less likely to understand when they act outside the box. Or, to put it another way, labelling people makes it much less likely that you will understand their humanity.
Using boxes is a shorthand for the huge numbers of people we are likely to meet throughout our life. It can serve a purpose in helping us store first impressions. It has limited uses, though.

First perception wins

People rarely change their first impressions. A positive bias works in the same way; what you assume of a person is what you think of them.
Unfortunately, a first impression is rarely enough to tell us about the person we meet. So much goes into an individual that only comes out with time. A first impression doesn’t give anybody enough time. It doesn’t matter if that is time to show people who you are or time to learn who other people are.
First impressions are just that: first. They should not be the last.

Your imagination is a powerful tool

What you perceive is what you draw towards you. In the case of a positive bias, this means that you will only ever find bases of the bias appearing around you.
This is limiting in its own way. You should try and avoid any such ruminations, as it means that you will lose out on a lot of what makes people who they are.
Positive bias is better than negative bias. But that does not mean it is good to have. Biases keep up from fully realising the potential in both ourselves and the people around us.
Rather than trying to make people conform to the specific stereotype we have of them, it is much better to simply let people be. Let them be who they are, and learn about the wonderful variety of humanity.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://www.verywellmind.com

 

 

 

 

 
 
About the Author: Margaret B.
 
Margaret is a freelance writer and tutor. She spends her time reading and writing, hoping to learn why people act the way they do. She is a lifelong fan of both philosophy and fantasy.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 



 
 

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publicado por achama às 22:50
Sexta-feira, 25 / 01 / 19

7 Different Types of Anger and the Hidden Causes Behind Each ~ Sherrie.

7 Different Types of Anger and the Hidden Causes Behind Each.

By Sherrie.

January 24th, 2019 

 

types of anger.

 

 

Anger is an interesting emotion which comes from many different places. Understanding the various types of anger helps you also harness this feeling.

Before you start being judgemental about anger, take pause for a moment. Anger isn’t a “sin”, but what we do with that anger is what we deem to be wrong. There are so many types of anger developed from various emotions and experiences. Depending on what life is throwing at us, anger could be a number of things.

Anger in its many forms

Without delving too deeply into religion, I will give an example. In Christianity, Christ became angry one notable time. He walked through a temple and tossed tables and kicked over stands. Why did he do this? Because he was appalled by the gambling and other “unholy” things he witnessed in a holy place.
Now, it’s not for me to say what’s good or bad, but this is an example of what I call “righteous” anger and a testimony to how anger in itself is not bad. Righteous anger, for example, is anger based on morals and beliefs, many times spiritually based, you see. There are many types of anger as well, as I have said before.
There are many types of anger, yes, and these types represent reasoning of some sort. While some anger is slow to form, others can be a rapid burst of seemingly uncontrollable rage. In this rage is where we see anger taking on negative action.
So, let’s examine the different types of anger and the causes behind them.

1. Moral or righteous anger

As I stated above in the example, there are such things as righteous anger. It’s also called moral angerbecause it comes from being upset when someone breaks rules.
If you have rules set in a household and someone in that household breaks these rules, you will experience righteous anger. This is because most rules come from beliefs. Unfortunately, some people use the defense that you think you’re better than everyone else. It’s a common defense, and usually, just a way to deflect their guilt.
Now, let me tell you a secret about righteous anger. There is a hidden meaning behind this feeling. It seems that when someone gets strict in their righteous anger, it could be their attempt at control.
The truth is, righteous anger can go too far and turn you into a controlling and manipulative individual. So, be careful with that flaming sword.

2. Behavioral anger

Of all types of anger, this one is the most volatile. Behavioral anger is usually so strong that it turns physical. Now, this doesn’t mean that this anger always causes injuries.
Sometimes individuals who use this type of anger may only throw things or punch walls. Unfortunately, sometimes this emotion does result in attacking other people, and can certainly cause injuries and even legal consequences.
There are a few hidden secrets about this type of anger. Behavioral anger can come from past trauma or neglect. Without proper upbringing, a person cannot learn to control their emotions correctly, and with trauma, behavioral anger may be the only way to deal with hurts experienced early in life.
While so dangerous, this anger can still be treated and channeled in the right direction.

3. Habitual anger

When you’ve been angry for so long, it can be hard to stop being angry. This is not a joke, it’s a real problem. Habitual anger is a perpetual state of unrest and dissatisfaction with pretty much everything and everyone. When you try to deal with those who exhibit types of anger such as this, they will most often get angrier.
The hidden aspect of this anger lies within the past and trickles down through the years. Although this type of anger may have been born early in life, it has grown, due to various negative experiences in the years following.
For instance, if you are in your 4os, like me, then you’ve had several decades to feed and grow this anger. if you’ve had issues with habitual anger, then by now, your life may be a walking nightmare. Sorry, the truth hurts….but the good news is, you can learn to heal from this too.

4. Self-harm

Yes, self-harm is more than just depression. The act of self-harm can actually be a form of anger against one’s self. When people cut their skin, they could be exhibiting anger for how they look or their own conditions. It’s a complicated matter to understand sometimes, but it’s a negative emotion which must be revealed.
The hidden aspects of self-harm can come from many places. Self-harm can come from past abuse, trauma, neglect and so on. It can also come from repeated disappointments and broken relationships.
Basically, instead of focusing anger outward, people who suffer from self-harm may focus these emotions on the person within.

5. Vengeance

One of the most common types of anger is vengeance or revenge anger. It’s a basic form of anger which has been around since the beginning of time. With this form of anger, there’s usually not a lot of premeditation, except for the plans of getting revenge which come along with the emotion.
To be honest, there is little-hidden meaning behind this type of anger. It is straightforward and to the ones who feel this emotion, it is pure in its intent. Those who exhibit vengeance feel the emotions and actions are warranted.

6. Passive-aggression

While this type of anger may seem harmless, it sometimes can do quite a bit of damage. It just doesn’t leave scars in the way you think. With passive aggressive anger, emotions tend to be pushed down for the most part.
There is resentment, sarcasm, and mockery, all hiding behind a façade. Because of their inability to express themselves in a healthy manner, those who suffer from passive-aggressive emotions will internalize what they really feel.
One hidden secret about this form of anger is that it’s said to come from childhood emotional abuse. Some children are taught to not express negative emotions, and so they grow up to think passive aggression is a logical way of dealing with problems.

7. Incidental anger

One form of anger that most people see as normal is incidental anger. The truth is, this is pretty much a normal reaction to certain situations of injustice. To have incidental anger is to witness something which should be changed and have the patience to address this in a healthy manner.
There are usually no hidden agendas or secrets where this type of anger is involved.

Dealing with the anger of all types

Different types of anger must be addressed in various ways. While some forms are easy to deal with, others can be dangerous. Sometimes even professional help will be needed when dealing with certain situations.
As I stated before, anger in itself is not a bad thing. It’s all depends on the actions and negative thought patterns that you choose to utilize when you lose your temper. For future references, learn more about what makes you angry and how you can deal with this anger in the right way.
References:
  1. https://stress.lovetoknow.com
  2. https://www.everydayhealth.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.

 
 




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If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 23:35
Sexta-feira, 18 / 01 / 19

7 Hidden Causes of Fear That Could Explain Why You Avoid Some Things in Life ~ Sherrie.

7 Hidden Causes of Fear That Could Explain Why You Avoid Some Things in Life.

By Sherrie.

January 18th, 2019 

 

.

 

 

We, as humans, are afraid of many things, sometimes developing severe phobias. So, what are the hidden causes of fear? What are the reasons for these reactions?

When I was a little girl, I was afraid of the forest surrounding my house, but only at night. During the day, I ran through the woods without a care in the world. What made the difference between my time in the forest during the day, and my fear of what lurked there in the darkness. It’s strange if you think about it. What are these causes of fear?
Upon analyzing my fears, I come to a conclusion. I am afraid of the unknown. Since it was dark in the forest when I was afraid, this meant I could not see what dwelled there. It’s safe to say that the darkness covers the unknown and these unknown things cause feelings of fear. As an adult, I still suffer from the fear of the unknown, and many of us do.

The hidden causes of fear

Children being afraid of the dark is just something that most people understand, without fully understanding. Much like many other situations, we don’t really question the causes of fear.
But there are other kinds of fears, less tangible but just as important, and these other fears are the ones that can keep us from reaching our full potential. Now’s the time to analyze the causes of fear and understand a bit more about ourselves. Let’s take a look at a few reasons why we’re frightened.

1. Failure

One of the most common causes of fear is failure. So many of us refuse to leave our comfort zones because we are afraid of doing something wrong, something that could damage our lives forever. The fear of failure can be seen in those who procrastinate in taking steps toward things like new careers, education, or starting a relationship.
The fear of failure is often hidden behind the reasoning of why you shouldn’t take that step forward. It’s also camouflaged as self-sacrifice as well. Sometimes, instead of doing something to better yourself, you may choose to focus all your energies on others.
Doing for others is good, but not when you forget about your own goals and potential. Learn to recognize the signs of fear of failure in its early stages so you can improve your life accordingly.

2. Decidophobia

Yes, decidophobia is a real thing. It’s basically the fear of making decisions. Personally, I think my second child has this problem. Everything he does has to be thought over carefully, even the simplest of tasks. I believe that inside he is wrestling with the fear of making the wrong decision, and so he takes extreme measures of time to make the decision in the first place.
So, in my son’s case, his strategy is that if he takes long enough, the decision will become clear. In my experience, this is not true. It seems that if I take too long making a decision, it actually becomes much harder.
The fear of decision making can be crippling, stealing so much time from the rest of your life. So, why not practice forcing yourself to make quicker decisions and walk away. It will be painful, but it will help you see the fallacy in your logic.

3. Negative scenarios

One of the causes of fear revolves around the stories you play in your head. For instance, when you cannot reach a friend by phone, you may start to worry. When this happens, your mind starts to compensate for the absence of explanation.
In other words, if you don’t know where someone is or if they are okay, then your brain fills in the gap. Many times, these fabrications are negative.
While not everyone ruminates like this, many do. Building negative scenarios in your mind feeds your fear. If you start believing that your absent friend has been in an accident, then you start to fear those things. You actually fear far-fetched ideas.
If you allow yourself to think positive things instead, then you decrease your fears and breed peace.

4. Trust issues

So many of us have trust issues of some kind or other. That’s why we often have fears that something bad will happen. I remember telling friends about the walls around me. I built all these walls because of the hurtful things that happened in the past. Unfortunately, these walls kept the good things out as well.
I have trust issues, let’s just put that out there to help you understand. I am in constant fear of being betrayed by one person or the other. It affects most aspects of my life and I hate it. I try to relinquish these fears, but something happens that, again, fortifies that untrusting mindset.
All I can say is, we just have to try harder to break down the wall and let people love us. After all, it’s possible that they actually have good intentions.

5. Insecurities

This cause of fear is similar to trust issues, but not exactly the same. While insecurities can cause trust issues which in turn, can cause fears, insecurities alone can cause different sorts of fears.
Let’s say you are insecure about your weight and so you are afraid to wear certain things to the beach. You fear ridicule and you fear rejection. Insecurities have the power to destroy your self-image and that’s why it’s so important to practice self-love and realization in your life.
I often suffer from insecurities, but I stop myself and think about what I’m worth. My worth as a human being does not change according to things people say about me or how they treat me. I want you to remember this as well.

6. Perfectionism

One of the causes of fear that can really limit your life is perfectionism. If you think it’s important to be perfect, then any failure would be devastating.
So, if you sense an event would cause you to make mistakes, then you will not go to that event. You might not even date certain people in fear that they would see your imperfections. It can be quite crippling actually.
Since you have a fear of imperfection, you will often do nothing. This is the severe form of perfectionism. You may feel that if you partake in social activities or anything at all, you won’t be able to feel the same about yourself if not seen as perfect. You may have friends, but honestly, they will be few.

7. Past trauma

I think one of the most common causes of fear would be past trauma. Since I am in the sharing mood, I will share even more. I was abused, and I believe I have shared this many times. Because of my past trauma, I fear many things, especially people in general. Yes, I guess you can say I have a case of anthropophobia (fear of people).
Past traumas cause PTSD, anxiety and also physical health problems. Unfortunately, we don’t often address the common fears they produce. Past traumas can affect our social life, spiritual life, family life and more. Because of what happened to us, we will often avoid relationships or career changes.
Do an inventory of your life and see if anything from your past connects with your present fears. It could be interesting.

Fears aren’t the end of the world

Despite how prevalent your fears are in your life, there’s always hope for change. The causes of fears may be many and complex, but with understanding, you can find the key to unlock these fears. I hope this has helped you learn a bit more about yourself, and I wish you well.
References:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.

 
 




Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

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Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.

 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


More @ http://violetflame.biz.ly and 
https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/




 

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publicado por achama às 23:31
A Luz está a revelar a Verdade, e esta libertar-nos-á! -Só é real o AMOR Incondicional. -Quando o Amor superar o amor pelo poder, o mundo conhecerá a Paz; Jimi Hendrix. -Somos almas a ter uma experiência humana!

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