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Domingo, 10 / 05 / 20

6 Traits of Resilient People You Can Cultivate

6 Traits of Resilient People You Can Cultivate

Jamie Logie, B. Sc.

learning-mind.com

May 9th, 2020 .

 

 
 
What is it about resilient people that makes them able to handle any adversity? What can we learn from them to become resilient ourselves?
 
Some may say that the key to success in life is the ability to be resilient. There are many other great attributes that make up a well-rounded person, but resiliency may surpass them all. Life throws so much at us and the resilient person can take it in stride and not crumble under the pressure and setback.

This article will look at what traits resilient people have and how you can cultivate them to enhance your own life.

What Does True Resilience Look Like?

It’s hard not to look at the future in a positive mindset. There is no harm in doing this, but the problem is that you can expect all your ideas to come to fruition. In a perfect world, everything would go smoothly all the time. But we all know this is not the case. We hope and dream for a multitude of blessings and fortune – but we don’t anticipate the negatives in quite the same way.

When the challenges of life hit, some of us are better equipped to handle them than others. Resilient people can swim instead of sink, bend instead of break, and persevere instead of crumble. The best way to look at what true resilience is is to recognize it as inner strength. It’s the ability to bounce back from life’s inevitable disappointments, failures, and pains.
A good way to look at this is like the shock absorbers on a car. If you were to ride in a car without shock absorbers, you would feel all the bumps and holes as you drive. Every ride would be a miserable experience. Resilience is like putting shock absorbers on a car to help absorb and create a more comfortable ride.
 

The good news is that this inner strength can be learned – just like any other skill. It takes some practice – but it is achievable, and that means looking at the traits of resilient people. This way, we may be able to cultivate them to create our own inner strength.
So what are some of these traits that you should look to replicate in your own life?

Let’s look at 6 traits of resilient people:

1. Resilient People Recognize That They Can’t Change Things

There are many small things that are completely in our control; you can enjoy your favorite entertainment, choose who you spend your time with, or pursue your favorite hobbies. This can add to your life tremendously, but what about the big things that are out of your control?
This is one of the biggest traits of resilient people. They understand that a large majority of the things that happen in their life they have no control over. They don’t ignore the hardships and setbacks but realize they are happening out of their control.
This allows for a sense of peace and the ability to deal with them sooner. The person who blames the situation and tries to control it is only in for frustration, anxiety, and hopelessness. The longer they spend time thinking they can change things out of their control, the longer it takes to finally move past it.
The resilient person can recognize what is out of their hands, not spend long dwelling on it, and not allow it to defeat them. Accepting that you cannot control everything is actually a way to take control of your life.

2. Resilient People Are Not Fragile

Fragility may be the opposite of resiliency. Fragility means that everything upsets you. From big world events, down to small trivial matters, everything can upset and derail you. With so many things upsetting you, you end up spending a lot of your time feeling angry, hurt, and pessimistic.
Resilient people can combat this fragility. This is not to mean they aren’t sensitive, or experience negative emotions, it just means they can combat them. They are more able to acknowledge things that may upset them but not allow them to take them down.
It’s important to point out that any huge life-crushing situation will set back any individual – no matter how resilient. What we’re talking about here when we refer to fragility are the day-to-day issues that can upset you and prevent you from happiness. Resilient people recognize the things that upset them, but that’s as far as they let it go.

3. They Have a Good Perspective

Change Your Opinion about Yourself
People who are resilient can step back and assess their situation with as much objectivity as they can. They can investigate the situation and ask questions like:
  • “How bad is this problem?”
  • “Have I overstated it?”
  • “Am I giving this situation an unnecessary amount of attention?”
Resilient people can see their own lives from the perspective of others. Often, we become so self-absorbed that we can’t see the situation for what it truly is. When the smallest thing feels like the end of the world, it’s important to take a step back and try to look at it from an outsider. It’s easy to do this when you’re analyzing another person and you need to do this with yourself in order to build resiliency.

4. A Person Who Is Resilient Asks This One Big Question:

It’s a simple approach, but asking yourself, “What’s the worse that can happen?” is a very powerful thing. In most cases, the worst thing that could happen isn’t really that bad. Most of the time, it’s not even that likely to happen. A good quote to sum this up is:
“Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday”
Things seem their worst because of anticipation. When you end up getting to those real scenarios, they often aren’t as bad as how you built it up in your mind. And, again, not even likely to happen in the first place.

5. Resilient People Keep Good Company

We often hear that we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. Resilient people make sure that the people they spend their time with only add to their life. If you’re surrounded by negative and pessimistic people, this will rub off on you.
To become more resilient, it may mean eliminating certain people from your life or spending less time with others. Resilience can be infectious, and the best way to adopt this is to be around others from whom you can cultivate it.

6. They Take Care Of Themselves

This may seem obvious, but it is often overlooked. Resilient people know that they have boundaries and limitations. They don’t allow themselves to push it too far, and they know when enough is enough, and they practice various forms of self-care.
Resilient people do everything they can to be at their best. This means adhering to things like exercise and proper nutrition. They get adequate sleep and don’t try to burn the candle at both ends. Choosing to live this way will only cause you to burn out, which is the opposite intention we should strive for.
You can’t be resilient if you are exhausted, weak, and not properly nourished. So start to get those things in order and they will naturally help to build up your inner strength. Self-care helps build resiliency as it requires discipline and dedication, both of which build that inner strength.

Final Thoughts

In the same way you couldn’t run a marathon without training, you can’t build resiliency overnight. The first step is to recognize the traits of resilient people and look to copy them. By observing some of their traits like the ability to keep a good perspective, ask the right questions, and combat fragility, you can become resilient in your own way.
This is a skill that takes some inward analysis, and maybe a bit of struggle to achieve it. But this is all part of the journey that resilient people find themselves on, and you can too.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/
  2. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/
  3. https://www.apa.org/

About the Author: Jamie Logie, B.Sc.

Jamie Logie is a certified personal trainer, nutritionist, and health & wellness specialist. He holds a bachelor of science (B.Sc.) degree in Kinesiology from the University of Western Ontario, studied sociology and psychology at Western University and has a counseling diploma from Heritage Baptist College. He has run a blog and top-rated podcast on iTunes called "Regained Wellness". Jamie is also a contributing writer for places like the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, LifeHack and has an Amazon #1 book called "Taking Back Your Health".

 COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 


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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

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publicado por achama às 00:05
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Sábado, 25 / 04 / 20

Realistic Optimism Is Not Blind Positivity: How to Cultivate It

Realistic Optimism Is Not Blind Positivity: How to Cultivate It

Jamie Logie, B. Sc.

learning-mind.com

April 24, 2020 .

 

 

 

Optimism isn’t always the easiest way to approach life, but is realistic optimism more ideal?
We would all love to be as optimistic as possible all the time. Unfortunately, this will not be the case – and that’s ok. It’s fine to acknowledge that things aren’t always going to go perfectly despite our desires for that. Keeping a positive state of mind, and practicing realistic optimism, may serve you better than blind positivity.
The difference between the two is is that blind positivity contains a sense of ignorance to it. Ignorance does not mean stupidity, it just means a lack of knowledge about something. Taking a blind positivity approach may seem like an ideal mindset, but it will not do you any favors in the long run. Blind positivity makes you shut out the outside world. It puts a pair of blinders on your head and doesn’t allow you to face reality.
Blind positivity creates a false sense of reality and it glosses over areas of life, creates ignorance, and shuts out a lot of the world. The big issue with this is that it causes you to minimize experiences, and this can slowly eat away at your life.
This article will look at why realistic optimism is a much better approach and ways to cultivate it.

What Is Realistic Optimism?

Ideally, you don’t want to be overly pessimistic, and also not blindly positive. Realistic optimism lies somewhere in the middle. It is thought that optimism is only helpful when it’s realistic.
One great definition of realistic optimism comes to us from the medical world. If you are coming out of a major injury, or serious illness, you have to be realistic in how you approach the immediate future. One must ease back into daily activities and understand what the limitations are. Some things will limit you, some will be off-limits, but others will be possible.
This is the approach that embraces realistic optimism – understanding your limitations. Realistic optimism acknowledges negativity, but it doesn’t dwell on it.
Another way to look at realistic optimism is how you respond to when life knocks you down. It’s easy to take a negative approach and feel pity and self-sorrow.
We all have negative thoughts, there’s no denying or escaping that. So why do some people remain positive while others are extremely negative and pessimistic? If we all share these negative thoughts from time to time, what allows you to break free from them?
Here are some ways to cultivate realistic optimism:

1. Understand What Is And Isn’t In Your Control

In the case of the person coming off of an illness, injury or setback, the first thing to do is to start with a list of what you can do, what you have difficulty doing, and then the things you just can’t do.
Seeing the list of the things you can do can be a great way to boost optimism while being realistic – as the list may be longer than you expected. The list of things you would have difficulty doing can also create some optimism as it means they are not totally ruled out.
This middle list can give you a challenge and it can help you create realistic goals and timelines to accomplish this. Having a goal is always a great way to stay positive, motivated, and optimistic.

2. Understanding You Can’t Change The Past, You Can Only Change The Present

It’s so easy to dwell on past mistakes and screwups. You may wish you could just go into your mind and rip these negative thoughts out to never be seen again. It can get to where you feel these bad memories define who you are and you can’t escape them. The realistic optimism approach is to remember that you can’t change the past, you can only change the present.
When a memory that comes up that you wish you had reacted better to, tell yourself that this was the best you could do at the time. It’s ok that you didn’t have enough information, or weren’t strong enough then. Instead, learn from it and use it to make better decisions in the future.
There’s no point in beating yourself up for past mistakes as they are over and done with. Realistic optimism is about working with those negative thoughts, but keeping them in the past so they don’t prevent you from moving forward.

3. It’s All About Being Proactive In Your Approach

The realistic optimist is still at their core, passionately optimistic. They are just able to see things from all viewpoints and take in, and process, a variety of information.
Not only are they very aware, but they are also very proactive in making things happen and knowing they will succeed. Some of the most successful people are realistic optimists as they take all the best elements of realism, and optimism, and combine them together.
Realistic optimism is all about perseverance and determination. It acknowledges that setbacks will happen, but they don’t have to define or disrupt you. Winston Churchill was the definition of the realistic optimist, most notably, when he said: “Never, never, never give up.”

4. Give Yourself More Credit

Again, it’s easy to focus on the negative. We seem to do that as it’s away to avoid taking responsibility for our own actions. If we can blame things on our circumstances, we’re off the hook for being an active participant in our own lives. Realistic optimism understands that things will not always be perfect, but makes it a point to celebrate the small wins.
It’s the approach that every cloud has a silver lining, and list what you did best – however small it may be. Don’t be afraid to pat yourself on the back and celebrate your successes.

Final Thoughts

Blind positivity sounds nice, but it’s not a realistic way to go through life. On the other hand, you don’t want to be focussed on negative pessimism. Both of these are surefire ways to rob yourself of true joy.
Realistic optimism emerges as the perfect alternative to both. Being realistically optimistic allows you to be as positive as possible despite the circumstances, while not ignoring the hardships. The sooner you can come to grips to letting go of the things out of your control, and embrace realistic optimism, the freer you can feel.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://www.sciencedirect.com/
  3. https://psychcentral.com/
 

About the Author: Jamie Logie, B.Sc.

Jamie Logie is a certified personal trainer, nutritionist, and health & wellness specialist. He holds a bachelor of science (B.Sc.) degree in Kinesiology from the University of Western Ontario, studied sociology and psychology at Western University and has a counseling diploma from Heritage Baptist College. He has run a blog and top-rated podcast on iTunes called "Regained Wellness". Jamie is also a contributing writer for places like the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, LifeHack and has an Amazon #1 book called "Taking Back Your Health".

 COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 
Main Site:
violetflame.biz.ly
Alternative to Google

 Alternatives to YouTube
 

 
 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 
 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 04:25
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Sábado, 18 / 04 / 20

When Everything Is Falling Apart, Remember 6 Sobering Truths

When Everything Is Falling Apart, Remember 6 Sobering Truths.

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

April 18th, 2020

 

Never have our lives been so unusual. We are truly living in unprecedented times and honestly, it feels a little like everything is falling apart. We’ve lost our jobs, our incomes, and our security. Our friends and family are being forced to stay away. Nothing feels all that great right now.
Still, inside the darkness, there is light. When everything is falling apart, there are still things that should bring you back to reality. It’s not misguided positivity, it’s sobering truths that we should hold close when our hardship starts to feel like too much to handle.

6 Things to Remember When Everything Is Falling Apart

1. Pain Is Temporary

I think it’s fair to say that we’ve all been through something difficult in our lives. I doubt there are many among us who have lived perfect, easy lives. We’ve all faced hardship before, and we all know that pain is temporary.
When everything is falling apart, it can be easy to give up and assume things will be this way forever. In these surreal times of a global pandemic, it seems like we’ve got no evidence to fall back on, but we do. Every hard phase has come to an end eventually.
Every time you thought life would never get better, it did. When you find yourself spiraling, as we all do at times, bring yourself back with this one sobering truth – pain doesn’t last forever.

2. Worrying Doesn’t Solve Anything

Worrying has been proven time and time again to be terrible for your health. It increases your risk of countless illnesses, including heart conditions, cancer, and stroke. It’s also bad for your immune system, and in times like these when we’re all trying to be as healthy as possible, worrying will never help.
Letting your mind run free with fear won’t fix the current crisis or any others. You can’t worry the world better. No amount of “planning” or “understanding”, as we anxious folk convince ourselves we’re doing, will make a dangerous virus go away any sooner or be any less deadly.
Instead of dwelling on the idea that everything is falling apart, focus on what you can do to keep it together. You could consider donating to charities, or volunteering. Remember that by staying home, you are helping. You don’t need to worry if you’re already you’re doing exactly what needs to be done to fix the world.

3. Without Hard Times, We Don’t Appreciate the Good Times

We might be experiencing an extreme example right now, but it’s working. Never have I been more grateful for the people I love, and the little moments of joy we get each day. I also know I’ll be more appreciative of the freedom and moments of social non-distancing we get when all of this is over.
If you live a totally undisturbed life, you might not feel much appreciation for the best times, because they aren’t much different from the worst. Now, when it seems that everything is falling apart, we’re truly grateful for what we still have, and what we can’t wait to get back.
As the saying goes, you only know what you’ve got when it’s gone.

4. Slow and Steady Wins the Race

No matter how much we wish it, we can’t speed this one along. At times, this process feels incredibly slow. We don’t have an end date in sight, and we all know how slowly time passes when we’re stuck at home.
If you feel that everything is falling apart, your first instinct is to fix it as soon as possible. We want the problem solved and we don’t care how we get there. But we don’t get that choice right now. This isn’t something we can rush through. In fact, the more we try to rush this by forcing normality before it’s time, the longer we’ll have to wait.
If we have no choice but to wait it out, then there’s no better time to practice patience. We get wrapped up in modern life so often that we rarely have to wait for anything. Take this opportunity to learn a skill most of us, myself included, don’t have. The world might be a little nicer if we all emerge from this with more patience.

5. Kindness Doesn’t Cost A Thing

In this time of darkness, when it seems that everything is falling apart, there is one thing always left – kindness. We are suffering now, globally. There’s no skirting around it, global pandemics really suck. We feel as though we’ve lost everything, but we haven’t. We haven’t lost each other.
Kindness keeps us moving, gives us strength and brings us closer. Being nice to others in this difficult time makes a huge difference. During your moments outside, exchange a smile with a fellow exerciser. Greet neighbors when you pass them (at a distance). You’d be surprised how much these minor interactions could change someone’s day. Be gentle and respectful of others, especially those who are still having to work.
The kinder you are on the outside, the kinder you’ll be to yourself too. Nothing is better for your self-esteem than making others happy.

6. Challenges Help Us Grow

Unprecedented times teach us things we would never have had the opportunity to learn before. We may have gone our whole lives never learning how to entertain ourselves. We could never have had this time to learn new hobbies, or really get to know ourselves.
They say you grow through what you go through, and that couldn’t be truer now. I like to think that when this whole thing is over, we’ll all emerge like butterflies. Harrier, less manicured butterflies, but butterflies nonetheless.
Right now, by doing absolutely nothing, you’re developing skills you could have lived your entire life without. Of course, we’re growing patience, and we’re also growing resilience. In the future, when life inevitably gets chaotic again (though hopefully not in the same way) you’ll be ready to face it head-on, knowing you’ve faced serious hardship already. The minor troubles that might have set off a spiral before won’t phase us anymore.
We’ve been learning to be gentle with ourselves and others. We’ve learned to be happy with the little victories and accepting of the losses. Awful things are happening all over the world, and as everything feels like it’s falling apart, we’re developing strength like never before.

After All, Everything Isn’t Falling Apart

Before you let your thoughts of hopelessness drag you down, remember that some important facts of life, the sobering truths, will never change. Everything isn’t falling apart, no matter how close it might feel. Gratitude is what will hold us together.
I know it sounds mad, but enjoy this time. Embrace the people around you, whether it’s family or friends at home, or neighbors you pass on a daily walk. Embrace the time for yourself, to get to know you. This will end and we will get back to normal, and maybe we’ll all be better people when we do, but until then remember things aren’t always as broken as they seem.
 
 
 
 

 

Becky Storey
 

 



 

About the Author: Becky Storey
 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 
 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 22:47
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Sexta-feira, 21 / 02 / 20

4 Psychological Skills Truly Smart People Have.

4 Psychological Skills Truly Smart People Have.

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

February 19th, 2020.

 
psychological skills smart people.
 
 
 
Some people just seem to sail through life, don’t they? They face problems with determination, successes with humility, and are just all-around likeable, smart and decent folk. Perhaps they are using psychological skills that we don’t know about?
 
There are certainly lots of life hacks that people use in order to get ahead. For instance, studies show that if you want someone to do you a favour, do something nice for them a few days before. Humans have a need to balance the scales; they like to reciprocate, it’s a tit-for-tat kind of mentality.So are there any other psychological abilities and skills that truly smart people use? Here are four of them:
 
4 Psychological Skills Smart People Have (and You Can Master Them Too)
 
They control their own thoughts
 
‘Our life is what our thoughts make us.’ Marcus Aurelius
It’s very easy to get into the trap of thinking that our thoughts are just ideas and phrases that pop in and out of our heads, and not something we can control. I remember going to see Paul McKenna in London for a phobia workshop weekend. If you don’t know who he is, he is an expert in NLP, getting rid of phobias, hypnotism, that kind of thing.
 
Onstage he asked the audience to imagine a typical Monday morning, getting up for work, going through the motions. Then describe our feelings and our moods. The majority of us said things like ‘Monday blues’, depressed, tired, drained, heavy, lacklustre, no energy.
 
He then asked us to imagine that instead of going to work on a Monday, we were jetting off to a luxury holiday resort on an exclusive island with 5-star facilities. Now he asked how we felt. The audience responded with ‘excited, raring to go, relaxed, can’t wait, happy, positive, lifted.’
 
‘You see the power of the mind?’ he said. Neither of those things happened but just by changing your thoughts you also changed your mood.
 
Now, why is this important?
 
Of course, we can’t spend our lives on holiday. But we can take those feelings of excitement, happiness, relaxation, and positivity and use them on tough days like Monday mornings.
 
Why will it make a difference? Because positivity attracts positivity. But more importantly, negativity does the same. Sure, you’re not on holiday, but you are bringing those feelings and emotions of excitement and happiness to work. This has a knock-on effect on your day.
 
Yes, you’ve still got to go to work, but perhaps it will be more pleasant because of your attitude? Likewise, our whole life is made up of our thoughts. If we are grateful for what we have, we’ll live a contented life.You could call this particular way of thinking a ‘psychological skill’ that smart people use. I guess it’s a little like cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). A way of actively changing the way we think on purpose to improve our lives.
 
They are socially intelligent, which means they don’t always show their intelligence
 
The second of our psychological skills is all about intelligence, but it involves a certain kind of intellect.
 
Imagine you’ve just passed your degree and you’re excited and you’re telling friends. How would you feel if someone piped up: “Oh, I got an honour degree in that subject.” Really?
 
Or there’s always someone who knows more than you and doesn’t hesitate to tell you. We all want others to know how clever we are. But when it costs other people, or steals their thunder, or ruins their moment, it’s not clever. In fact, it’s downright stupid.
 
If you need to boost your own ego by climbing over or trashing other people’s achievements, you are not socially intelligent.
 
Social intelligence is the understanding that we all need our moments as the centre of attention. We all deserve the spotlight on our achievements. Recognition for our knowledge, our smarts. But allowing others to revel in the limelight is a more intelligent way to show your intelligence. Why? Because people associate their feelings of importance and pride with you when you let them share their best moments.
 
In future, don’t be the know-all that everyone dreads being around.They know that most things will pass
 
There is an ability that truly smart people have which is the knowledge that most things will pass. I remember when my boyfriend died in 2013. At the time I thought I’d never get over the loss and pain. Now it’s 2020 and I can reflect on those tragic times and know that whatever dreadful thing happens in the future, it will pass. I will get through it.
 
Of course, at the time, if someone had tried to give me this advice on grief I would have probably lamped them. People who are going through horrific trauma and grief don’t need advice. They need support.
 
This knowledge comes from your own experience. All we have to do is simply exist. And that’s what I did, for a long time. I took minutes, then hours, then days at a time. Until one day I was coming out of a migraine and was lying on the bed when a cooling breeze flowed over my hot, throbbing head.
 
I remember thinking ‘This feels nice.’ Up until that point, nothing had felt nice since my boyfriend’s passing. But I knew that if something as simple as the wind could be pleasant, I would get through the pain of his death.
 
This is one of those psychological skills that comes with time and experience. Because you have to pass through trauma and come out the other side to know it.
 
Of course, these days staying in the present through mindfulness is considered to be extremely therapeutic. However, there’s nothing wrong with revisiting the past in order to arm yourself to face the future.
 
They accept the blame for their own predicament
 
Now, more than ever, there’s a trend to want to blame anyone but ourselves for our own predicament. How often do we see those TV adverts ‘Where’s there’s a blame, there’s a claim.’ It’s written into our DNA that we should blame someone else for what’s gone wrong in our lives.However, there’s something very powerful about accepting that we are at fault when we’ve made a mistake. Psychologists call this ‘locus of control’.
 
Locus of Control
 
Locus of control is the degree in which an individual feels they have control over their own life. This can refer to our successes as well as our failures. We attribute this control to internal factors (ourselves) or external factors (others, environment, etc.).
For example, say that a person has failed an exam. If they have an internal locus of control, they’ll attribute their failure to a lack of revision, partying the night before the exam, not paying attention in class. In other words, they’ll blame themselves for the outcome.
 
However, someone with an external locus will say the reasons for failure were their parents not waking them up in time to get to the exam on time. Or that their tutors didn’t teach them from the right books, or that the classroom was too hot/cold. They will blame other reasons for the failure.
 
Now, why is this important? Surely in life, some things are out of our control. Sometimes things happen that do ruin our chances. And yes, this is true. But studies show those who consistently take responsibility for their own successes or downfalls, in other words, have an internal locus, are happier, healthier and more successful in general.
 
Final Thoughts
 
These are just four psychological skills that anyone can master. Do you know of any others? I’d love to hear them!
 
 
 
References:
 
 

 

 
Janey Davies

 

About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

 Archives:
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 
 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 21:11
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Quarta-feira, 22 / 01 / 20

How to Think Before You Speak and Why You Need to.

Lottie Miles.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 22nd, 2020.

 
How to Think Before You Speak.

 
 
Think before you speak! This age-old adage reminds us that speaking first and thinking secondcan get us into bother, be it in relationships, or even in our own opinion of ourselves. Indeed, the words we speak don’t just cause a reaction in the here and now. They can also influence how you think and how your future unfolds.
 
In this post, we will look at the reasons why you should think before you speak and the benefits you can get from taking that bit longer to blurt out what first springs to mind.
 
Why should you think before you speak?
 
As already alluded to, there are a number of reasons why we should reason on an answer before we elicit what we are thinking. Here, we outline 3 reasons why thinking before you speak is important:
 
Prevent regret
 
The Greek saying goes that ‘one word spoken in anger may spoil and entire life’. Similarly, a Senegalese proverb argues that ‘to spend the night in anger is better than to spend it repenting’.
 
Anyone who has ever sent an angry email in the heat of the moment will know the value of these words. Whilst writing an angry text or email can be therapeutic, it’s always worth sitting on it until our hot head has cooled and we can see more clearly.
 
Getting angry at someone we love, at a friend, or at a colleague is only likely to lead to regret. If we get angry at loved ones, we feel bad, at friends, we might lose their trust, and at a colleague, we might miss out on future opportunities by losing credibility. By thinking before we speak, we can increase our chances of steering clear of feelings of regret.
 
Improve your relationships (near and far)
 
It’s not just when we feel angry that we need to be careful. As our experiences of the world around us feel like life is passing by ever faster, it can be tempting to rush responses to messages, be they at work or to family.
 
Unfortunately, written text is much less nuanced than speech and a short reply sent with a light-hearted tone in mind could easily be read as a curt, cold or irritable shut down.
 
An off-and comment blurted out without thinking can be just as damaging to relationships as a misread text. If we don’t take the time and care to listen to what others are really telling us, we can either say the wrong thing or miss what is behind what’s being said. This means it is always important to be careful about how we respond to people, think about what they are saying, and respond with care.
 
Control your mind and future
 
What we say affects how we think about ourselves and the world around us. The Stanford University Professor of Psychology, Neuroscience, and symbolic systems argues this is because our subconscious minds interpret what we say, internally or externally, literally. The constant use of negative words to ourselves or others will see an altered mindset linked to the words, be they bitter, angry, judgemental, or negative.
 
On the flip side of this, research shows positive thinking can have beneficial impacts on your skills. This makes it all the more important to think before you speak, to prevent feelings of regret, improve your relationships with others, and help you keep your mind positive to open up doors for future opportunities.
 
Top tips on how to think before you speak
 
Now you know a few reasons why it is important, it’s a good idea to get to grips with how to ensure you do this. Here, we outline some handy questions to have in your mind when it comes to staying on top of thinking before speaking that make up the THANKS method to think before you speak, which breaks down as follows:
  • True
  • Helpful
  • Affirming
  • Necessary
  • Kind
  • Sincere
 
If we turn these words that make up the THANKS acronym into questions we answer before we speak, we have a quick and easy method to answer any question thoughtfully.
 
Are you going to say something that is true?
 
If we want people to trust us and value our opinion, we want to be clear about where we have gathered our information from and ensure we know what we say is true before we say it. Take the time to understand your own judgements and misjudgements.
 
Are you going to say something helpful?
 
Is what you are saying going to beneficial in some way to the person you are speaking to? A hurtful comment will not make it past this stage – helping to prevent regret.
 
Are you going to say something that is affirming for the person you are speaking to?
 
Will your words be relatable to the other person? Will they help them to empathize? Will they be inspiring for them? If you are not going to get some buy-in from the person with what you say, it’s worth giving it some more thought.
 
Are you going to say something necessary?
 
Everyone’s been trapped in a conversation they have no interest in or listening to office chat that is meaningless and off-putting. By confirming that what you plan to say is going to be useful in some way, you can prevent being the one accidentally doing this.
 
Are you going to say something kind?
 
Negative comments, be they about yourself or others, foster a negative mindset. ‘If you haven’t got something nice to say, don’t say it’, just like your parents always told you.
 
Are you going to say something that is sincere?
 
Finally, make sure you mean what you say. It’s easy to tell if someone is being fake so a final sincerity check will help you make sure you mean what you say.
 
Thinking before you speak can ensure you steer clear of regret, improve your relationships, and help you control your mind in a way that fosters a beneficial future. Try using the THANKS method to help you think before you speak and you’ll soon reap the rewards of thoughtful speaking.


 

 

Lottie Miles

 


 
About the Author: Lottie Miles
 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
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and https://www.facebook.com/mel.tavares.75


A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com
 
 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 
 
 
 
Free counters!

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publicado por achama às 10:07
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Segunda-feira, 13 / 01 / 20

Why Letting Go of Grudges Is Crucial for Your Happiness and How to Do It

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

January 10, 2020

 



 
 
I think it’s fair to say that we’ve all been wronged in some way. Whether it’s a nasty break-up, betrayal by a friend, or an old school bully, once we hold a grudge against them, it’s hard to let go. Letting go of grudges is good for our health, but it’s hard to do.
 
We say we’ve forgiven, but we don’t forget. Sometimes, a grudge can last a lifetime. It’s time to start letting go of the grudges we hold and start fresh with a healthier new outlook.
 
 
We hold grudges for a whole host of reasons. Psychologists have suggested that we use grudges to define ourselves and excuse our bad behavior. We write off our coldness, mistrust and sometimes plain rudeness, as the result of past hurt.
 
Some suggest that we are holding grudges as a subconscious way to get sympathy and extra kindnessthat we didn’t get initially. This is especially true with victims of school-aged bullies. At the time, there was little support for the hardship. As an adult, if we tell our stories, others will feel bad for us. We hold onto our grudges towards these bullies, so we can keep re-telling the story.
 
While those reasons might require more intensive thought, some other reasons can be more superficial. We might consider holding a grudge to be a form of revenge. Never letting go of the grudge means never letting the offender get away with their crimes.
 
The reality is, those who wronged you probably aren’t even aware of your reserved hostility, or even worse, they don’t care. Instead of holding onto this pain, perhaps it’s time to work on letting go of these grudges.
 
Why Letting Go of Grudges Is Crucial for Your Happiness
 
They Serve No Purpose
 
If psychologists are correct in their theories on holding grudges, then we can see that the reasons are never beneficial. Holding onto the anger or pain won’t help us to heal from the hurt. It won’t undo the damage done in the past.
 
Grudges won’t serve as a kind of revenge. Even if the offender is begging for forgiveness, there is no benefit to YOU by never letting go of the grudge.
 
They’re Bad for Your Health
 
A number of studies have shown that holding onto grudges can cause a serious decline in health. Having a grudge to carry with you means you’re repeatedly becoming angry every time the memory comes to your mind. We certainly all know by now that anger has a negative effect on our health. Constantly recurring anger is dangerous.
 
Anger, and in turn holding grudges, can lead to increases in heart rate and blood pressure. When we’re angered, our body’s stress response is triggered, leading to a whole host of unhealthy chemical reactions inside us. If you want to keep your body healthy and safe, you’d better start letting go of some grudges.
 
They Consume Us
 
Grudges are just pain that we carry with us everywhere. As well as the toll they take on our psychical body, they also have negative impacts on our mental health too. Negative thoughts take over from positive ones usually. They consume more of our time and fill our minds with a negative voice.
 
Overthinking the causes, possible solutions, and the revenge you crave will make it harder for your brain to function. Your usually clear thinking will be swallowed whole by the anger and frustration you let ruminate in your mind all day.
 
Not letting go of your grudges will lead to anger, mistrust, and resentment leaking out into your current life. Your personal relationships will suffer. Your career will suffer. Progression can only happen when you untie yourself from the past.
 
How to Start Letting Go of Grudges
 
Take Charge of Your Needs
 
Instead of letting the hurt swirl around your mind all day and night, try going after what you really need to solve this problem. Depending on the length of your grudge and the situation you’re in, talking it out might not be an option.
 
Instead, try talking to yourself. If you can’t get closure, then you have to close the door yourself. This might be easier said than done, but it is possible. Remind yourself of what you’re losing by being angry so often. Notice how little you’re gaining.
 
If you are in a position to talk to the person who hurt you, then do. Be confident in yourself and your needs. Sometimes, you need closure for your wellbeing.
 
Tell this person how hurt you were by what they did and explain that it’s still chipping away at you. If they respond in kind, open up a dialogue. If they don’t, know your pain and this person were never worth it. Let go of this grudge.
 
Embrace Your Mental Strength
 
You can’t change the past. You can’t make the person who hurt you feel guilty. You can, however, change your own thinking. It’s time to get in touch with your own thoughts and slow them down when you feel angry.
 
Remember that your brain was able to create this pain, so it’s able to let it go too. Letting go of grudges is entirely down to you. It’s not going to be easy but letting go can be a choice. You can choose not to hate, or feel anger, anymore.
 
When the frustrated thoughts occur to you, breathe them out. Remind yourself that this person has no power, only you do. No more letting this person win, especially if they’re already out of your life.
 
Distract yourself when these thoughts occur and forbid yourself from dwelling on them. No more obsessing, no more giving any of your precious time to this person who did you wrong.
 
See It from Their Side
 
It might be tough, even painful to do, but sometimes it can be helpful to put yourself in their shoes. Understand what happened in the beginning from a neutral point of view and wonder about how you would have reacted from their side.
 
Remember, we have all done wrong in our lives. We’ve all caused hurt in some way, it’s almost guaranteed. We are flawed, and that’s okay. Don’t place yourself on such a high pedestal that you can never forgive others’ mistakes.
 
It’s also important to understand that a person rarely has malicious intentions when they hurt us, they just acted thoughtlessly or inconsiderately towards our feelings. Rarely are our offenders genuinely evil. Their behavior may have been wrong but trying to connect with the reasons behind their actions might help you find solace.
 
Find the Root Cause
 
Most of the time, when we’re having trouble letting go of a grudge, there’s a deeper cause that we’re missing. This pain we carry tends to reflect a deep value that we hold that has been violated.
 
It can be beneficial to learn why this matter hurts you so much. Once you understand what fundamental moral of yours has been violated, you can start letting go of this grudge. Deep dive into why this moral is so important.
 
Most importantly, if you feel that something essential to you has been violated, then you know this person doesn’t belong in your life or mind. They don’t deserve your thoughts, because, in the end, their choices do not line up with your beliefs and values.
 
Letting go of grudges can be hard, but holding on is dangerous. Allow yourself to release the past. Be optimistic about your future, without bearing the weight of an ancient grudge. You’ll be surprised to see just how prosperous you can be when your mind is free from the torture that is on-going anger.
 
 
References:
  1. https://www.usnews.com
  2. https://journals.sagepub.com
  3. https://www.psychologytoday.com
 

 Becky Storey
 

 



 

About the Author: Becky Storey
 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com

 
 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 
 
 
 
Free counters!

  geoglobe1
 
 
tags: , , , , , , , ,
publicado por achama às 05:00
link do post | comentar | favorito
Sábado, 11 / 01 / 20

Why Letting Go of Grudges Is Crucial for Your Happiness and How to Do It

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

January 10, 2020

 



 

 
I think it’s fair to say that we’ve all been wronged in some way. Whether it’s a nasty break-up, betrayal by a friend, or an old school bully, once we hold a grudge against them, it’s hard to let go. Letting go of grudges is good for our health, but it’s hard to do.
 
We say we’ve forgiven, but we don’t forget. Sometimes, a grudge can last a lifetime. It’s time to start letting go of the grudges we hold and start fresh with a healthier new outlook.
 
 
We hold grudges for a whole host of reasons. Psychologists have suggested that we use grudges to define ourselves and excuse our bad behavior. We write off our coldness, mistrust and sometimes plain rudeness, as the result of past hurt.
 
Some suggest that we are holding grudges as a subconscious way to get sympathy and extra kindnessthat we didn’t get initially. This is especially true with victims of school-aged bullies. At the time, there was little support for the hardship. As an adult, if we tell our stories, others will feel bad for us. We hold onto our grudges towards these bullies, so we can keep re-telling the story.
 
While those reasons might require more intensive thought, some other reasons can be more superficial. We might consider holding a grudge to be a form of revenge. Never letting go of the grudge means never letting the offender get away with their crimes.
 
The reality is, those who wronged you probably aren’t even aware of your reserved hostility, or even worse, they don’t care. Instead of holding onto this pain, perhaps it’s time to work on letting go of these grudges.
 
Why Letting Go of Grudges Is Crucial for Your Happiness
 
They Serve No Purpose
 
If psychologists are correct in their theories on holding grudges, then we can see that the reasons are never beneficial. Holding onto the anger or pain won’t help us to heal from the hurt. It won’t undo the damage done in the past.
 
Grudges won’t serve as a kind of revenge. Even if the offender is begging for forgiveness, there is no benefit to YOU by never letting go of the grudge.
 
They’re Bad for Your Health
 
A number of studies have shown that holding onto grudges can cause a serious decline in health. Having a grudge to carry with you means you’re repeatedly becoming angry every time the memory comes to your mind. We certainly all know by now that anger has a negative effect on our health. Constantly recurring anger is dangerous.
 
Anger, and in turn holding grudges, can lead to increases in heart rate and blood pressure. When we’re angered, our body’s stress response is triggered, leading to a whole host of unhealthy chemical reactions inside us. If you want to keep your body healthy and safe, you’d better start letting go of some grudges.
 
They Consume Us
 
Grudges are just pain that we carry with us everywhere. As well as the toll they take on our psychical body, they also have negative impacts on our mental health too. Negative thoughts take over from positive ones usually. They consume more of our time and fill our minds with a negative voice.
 
Overthinking the causes, possible solutions, and the revenge you crave will make it harder for your brain to function. Your usually clear thinking will be swallowed whole by the anger and frustration you let ruminate in your mind all day.
 
Not letting go of your grudges will lead to anger, mistrust, and resentment leaking out into your current life. Your personal relationships will suffer. Your career will suffer. Progression can only happen when you untie yourself from the past.
 
How to Start Letting Go of Grudges
 
Take Charge of Your Needs
 
Instead of letting the hurt swirl around your mind all day and night, try going after what you really need to solve this problem. Depending on the length of your grudge and the situation you’re in, talking it out might not be an option.
 
Instead, try talking to yourself. If you can’t get closure, then you have to close the door yourself. This might be easier said than done, but it is possible. Remind yourself of what you’re losing by being angry so often. Notice how little you’re gaining.
 
If you are in a position to talk to the person who hurt you, then do. Be confident in yourself and your needs. Sometimes, you need closure for your wellbeing.
 
Tell this person how hurt you were by what they did and explain that it’s still chipping away at you. If they respond in kind, open up a dialogue. If they don’t, know your pain and this person were never worth it. Let go of this grudge.
 
Embrace Your Mental Strength
 
You can’t change the past. You can’t make the person who hurt you feel guilty. You can, however, change your own thinking. It’s time to get in touch with your own thoughts and slow them down when you feel angry.
 
Remember that your brain was able to create this pain, so it’s able to let it go too. Letting go of grudges is entirely down to you. It’s not going to be easy but letting go can be a choice. You can choose not to hate, or feel anger, anymore.
 
When the frustrated thoughts occur to you, breathe them out. Remind yourself that this person has no power, only you do. No more letting this person win, especially if they’re already out of your life.
 
Distract yourself when these thoughts occur and forbid yourself from dwelling on them. No more obsessing, no more giving any of your precious time to this person who did you wrong.
 
See It from Their Side
 
It might be tough, even painful to do, but sometimes it can be helpful to put yourself in their shoes. Understand what happened in the beginning from a neutral point of view and wonder about how you would have reacted from their side.
 
Remember, we have all done wrong in our lives. We’ve all caused hurt in some way, it’s almost guaranteed. We are flawed, and that’s okay. Don’t place yourself on such a high pedestal that you can never forgive others’ mistakes.
 
It’s also important to understand that a person rarely has malicious intentions when they hurt us, they just acted thoughtlessly or inconsiderately towards our feelings. Rarely are our offenders genuinely evil. Their behavior may have been wrong but trying to connect with the reasons behind their actions might help you find solace.
 
Find the Root Cause
 
Most of the time, when we’re having trouble letting go of a grudge, there’s a deeper cause that we’re missing. This pain we carry tends to reflect a deep value that we hold that has been violated.
 
It can be beneficial to learn why this matter hurts you so much. Once you understand what fundamental moral of yours has been violated, you can start letting go of this grudge. Deep dive into why this moral is so important.
 
Most importantly, if you feel that something essential to you has been violated, then you know this person doesn’t belong in your life or mind. They don’t deserve your thoughts, because, in the end, their choices do not line up with your beliefs and values.
 
Letting go of grudges can be hard, but holding on is dangerous. Allow yourself to release the past. Be optimistic about your future, without bearing the weight of an ancient grudge. You’ll be surprised to see just how prosperous you can be when your mind is free from the torture that is on-going anger.
 
 

References:
  1. https://www.usnews.com
  2. https://journals.sagepub.com
  3. https://www.psychologytoday.com
 

 Becky Storey
 

 



 

About the Author: Becky Storey
 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com

 
 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 
 
 
 
Free counters!

  geoglobe1
 
 
tags: , , , , , , , ,
publicado por achama às 08:53
link do post | comentar | favorito
Sexta-feira, 03 / 01 / 20

How to Stop Complaining All the Time with 4 No-Nonsense Strategies

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 3rd, 2020.

 

 
 
We are all guilty of complaining. Busy schedules, bad weather and stress mount up and cause us to lose sight of the positives around us. Focusing on the negatives, and compounding this by complaining only worsens our mood and outlook. The more we complain, the more problems we perceive. Knowing that it is healthy to have a positive mindset, and knowing how to stop complaining are unfortunately somewhat mutually exclusive!
 
Here are some strategies that can help you to stop complaining, and start living a happier and healthier life:
 
Manage your expectations
 
Often we complain because something hasn’t met with our expectations. We feel inconvenienced and disappointed, and express this through complaining.
 
In order to learn how to stop complaining, we need to rephrase what we expect from a situation to avoid becoming disenchanted with a scenario that we should have been anticipating all along.
Let’s look at an example:
 
You have a meeting. You arrive in good time and wait in reception. Half an hour later, you are still waiting. This is frustrating and you feel unappreciated. Why should you make the effort to make sure you are there in plenty of time, just to be left waiting?
 
Now you are annoyed, and decide to stand up for yourself by complaining. The meeting starts with a negative undertone, and you find it difficult to engage in a positive way. You are left in a bad mood for the remainder of the day, and resent any suggestion that a further meeting might be requested in the future.
How to rephrase:
 
Let’s take a minute here. Could there be a very good reason that you were left waiting? Perhaps there was an emergency situation that had to be dealt with, and unfortunately, impacted your appointment?
 
There are very often times when we are required to wait. This could be in advance of a meeting, prior to an appointment, or even in a queue whilst shopping. Realistically, you could have anticipated the potential that you would have had some time to spare.
 
Rather than letting the situation frustrate you, and damage your perspective for the rest of the day, why not try and prepare for inconveniences?
 
Pack a good book into your bag as a great way to make the most of any spare time that comes your way! Falling behind with replying to emails, or have forgotten to call your parents in a few days? Use this time to catch up on other obligations and put the extra time to positive use and be able to tick something off of your To-Do list!
 
Using a little foresight to prepare for circumstances outside of our control gives us ownership. If you know your commute is likely to be long, download a few great podcasts to make your journey enjoyable. I’d guarantee that you would have a better evening having enjoyed the trip home rather than arriving through the door complaining about the traffic.
 
 
Every second counts; use them wisely!
 
Take time for gratitude
 
In the course of a busy day, there are lots of things which happen which we can express gratitude for. Busy schedules and pressures of life can mean we don’t ever stop to acknowledge them.
 
If you have the unfortunate habit of complaining, taking time to stop and reflect on all those things you are taking for granted is a powerful tool.
 
Try keeping a gratitude journal, where each day you write down one thing that you are grateful for. It could be a message from a loved one. You might be grateful for a sunny day. Perhaps you enjoyed a nice lunch, or are grateful for the clothes you have to wear. Living in a safe and dry home is something most of us are fortunate to experience but forget is not a given for everybody.
 
Once you start to focus on those positive aspects of your day, it helps illuminate your level of thinking to rise above things that might normally cause you to complain.
 
There are many things to be grateful for; it is never a bad day to stop and smell the flowers!
 
Avoid mutual dissatisfaction as a social tool
 
In social interactions, we all try to find common ground. This is a perfect way to strike up a conversation, break the ice, and get to know a little more about somebody.
 
The difficulty is that one of the easiest ways to establish something in common is to find something we both dislike. How many conversations have you experienced that start with complaining about the weather, or about how bad the traffic was today? I’d be willing to bet it is rather a lot.
 
One great way to stop complaining is to position yourself in a place where the negatives are always considered the lowest priority.
 
If you are going somewhere to meet new people, try having a few icebreakers in your back pocket; and make sure none of them are complaints! Here are a few ideas:
  • I really enjoy meeting new people, how about you?
  • May I ask a little more about what brings you here today?
  • These events are always great fun, have you been here before?
  • I’m really looking forward to the weekend with my family; do you have anything planned?
 
Complain in a constructive way
 
Complaining for the sake of expressing yourself is sometimes cathartic. However, it can be more positive and constructive to find a solution for the problem at hand.
 
If you are feeling frustrated and really need to vent, thinking about what actions you can take to avoid such a complaint recurring is a useful way both to take control of the situation and to find a positive solution.
 
Here are some thought process adjustments you can make:
 
Complaint: I’m so annoyed I can’t believe I didn’t get there on time!
 
Constructive complaint: I am frustrated with myself to have been running late. Next time I will set myself an alarm to leave 15 minutes earlier to allow for the traffic, which I know is usually bad this time of day.
 
Complaint: I won’t be coming here again; the service is far too slow!
 
Constructive complaint: I was disappointed with the service and will let my server know. I will ask if there is a reason that service today is not at the usual standard and will listen to the answer I receive.
 
Complaint: This queue is ridiculously long; I’ve wasted so much time!
 
Constructive complaint: Next time I need to visit this store, I will come at a quieter time of day to avoid the long queues.
 
 
References:
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 
 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
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Alternative to Google
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

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Quinta-feira, 02 / 01 / 20

5 Negative Thought Patterns and How to Challenge Them

By Valerie Soleil.

learning-mind.com.

Posted January 1st, 2020. 

 

 

 
They say that happiness is a state of mind – but what if your mind is your own worst enemy? Sometimes it can feel like our own brain is turning against us, assailing us with negative thought patterns that impede us from living a full and fulfilling life.
 
What Are Negative Thought Patterns?
 
These are thoughts and emotional reactions that feel almost automatic, as though your mind were drip-feeding your brain negative information. It can seem like you have no control over your own thoughts. Or like a leaky tap, which you can’t shut off, is continuously dripping negativity into your brain. This negativity that continually filters into your self-identity is hard to fight if you don’t have the right tools.
 
However, there are ways to train your mind out of these automatic negative thought patterns. Rebuilding your relationship with your own mind can empower you to own your worth and your power, helping you to manifest the life that you actually deserve.
 
But how? Below are five negative thought patterns, and the weapons you can arm yourself with to challenge them.
 
1. ‘I can’t’ or ‘I’m not good enough’
 
You always expect yourself to fail, whether it’s something new you’re trying or a task you’ve accomplished time and time again. As soon as you intend to start something, from an academic assignment to a new sport or a new project, your thought pattern tap drips into your brain.
 
It reminds you that you are useless, incompetent and generally incapable. Any motivation you once had is a thing of the past. You begin to feel deflated and unable to face the task.
 
This negative thought pattern is also connected with Imposter Syndrome, wherein you believe you’re incapable of performing the job others think you’re good at.
 
Challenge:
 
Fix this leak by reminding yourself of everything you HAVE accomplished. Grab a piece of paper and divide it into three sections. They each represent three phases of your life up to this point; you can label them as you wish.
 
In each section, list ALL of the things you accomplished during that phase in your life. Anything from cooking your first meal, doing well in school or sports, finishing a book, overcoming hardship, being a good friend, getting a job, decorating your room or house, picking up a new skill.
 
Next, condense this list into a new list of those things which made you feel most accomplished.
 
 
When this negative thought pattern comes back to haunt you, challenge it by re-reading both of these lists and re-living the feeling of accomplishment that accompanied each activity. This engages the rational part of your brain, presenting evidence that undermines your automatic thoughts.
 
Extra: keep a daily or weekly Accomplishment Journal in which you write a list of your accomplishments.
 
2. ‘Something terrible is going to happen’ or ‘Nothing good ever happens to me’ (Catastrophic Thinking)
 
You’re continually convinced something awful is going to happen to you, and that only terrible events take place in your life. It’s one of those negative thought patterns that are a tough nut to crack because, in many ways, it’s self-reinforcing. The more you let it control you, the more blinkered your perspective on life becomes.
 
You eventually notice, focus on and remember only the negative things that happen to you. You’ll obsess over all the instances when someone let you down; you had problems at work, didn’t succeed or failed to meet your goals. Even the small things like choosing the longest line at checkout or getting stopped at all the traffic lights will add to this negative picture of your life.
 
Your mind will gloss over, ignore and forget all the positive things. The times when there wasn’t a queue, when you hit all the green lights, when your hopes and expectations were exceeded, someone showed up for you, or you succeeded and met your goals.
Challenge:
 
Plug this leak by writing two lists. One list of everything in your life you are grateful for, that was entirely out of your control. That time the weather was perfect on your day off, or when you took a wrong turn and ended up somewhere beautiful, or a chance meeting that led to something wonderful.
 
Write another list of everything you are grateful for that was under your control (graduating, fitness, travelling, making connections).
 
 
Whenever this negative thought pattern overwhelms you with pessimism about your life, re-read your lists of gratitude. Remind yourself of everything you have been given, and everything you have provided for yourself. Using this evidence, challenge the notion that only bad things happen with concrete proof of every time something beautiful happened!
 
Extra: keep a daily or weekly Gratitude Journal in which you record all the good that is happening around you.
 
3. ‘I’m a burden on my loved ones’ and ‘No one actually loves me’
 
You feel that everyone in your life merely puts up with you. You have nothing to offer them – in fact, you’re probably burdensome and irritating to them. They hang out with you because they pity you, not because they actually like or love you.
 
This negative thought pattern can extend from colleagues and acquaintances to friends and family, Generally, it drips in whenever you feel a surge of affection for someone or feel very alone. It convinces you that you are unlovable and that others would be better off without you.
 
Challenge:
 
Sort out this leaky tap by writing three lists. One list of times people have been grateful to you, a list of what others have done for you, and compliments or good wishes you’ve received. It might take some digging, as your mind will resist the notion that any of the above actually happens. Sit through the struggle and write down anything you think of before your ego jumps in. Once you’ve written something down, don’t erase it!
 
Every time this negative thought pattern jumps the queue, challenge it by looking at this list and reminding yourself that you do bring positivity to the lives of those around you. The fact that they care about you is translated into gratefulness, actions on your behalf and positive sentiments regarding you.
 
This negative way of thinking prevents you from fully receiving the love, and gratitude others offer you. By challenging this negative thought pattern with evidence of the esteem and love that others have for you, you show yourself the truth: you are loved and valued.
 
 
Extra: keep a daily or weekly Receiving Journal in which you list all the gratefulness, compliments, positive sentiments and acts of service others offer you.
 
4. ‘The world wants to hurt me’ and ‘It’s not safe for me out there’
 
We are biologically programmed to pay close attention to the negative parts of our life since our survival is dependant on our emotional and physical wellbeing. However, a mind in the constant grip of fear detects threats quickly and everywhere, without necessarily differentiating between real or imaginary threats.
 
A speciality of the human brain is also to think in terms of emotional risks and emotional safety. While we may not be imminently eaten or killed, our brain perceives that certain people or circumstances are emotionally unsafe.
 
Those of us who struggle with anxiety have a mind that has become hardwired to recognise physical and emotional perils everywhere, which trigger a fight or flight response. This generally leads to feelings of victimisation and a desire to isolate ourselves from this unsafe world to avoid its many threats.
Challenge:
 
This negative thought pattern requires a two-fold response. Physically, we need to turn off the fight-or-flight response by re-centring our breathing. Make sure you’re breathing through your stomach, not your chest, and spend 2-5 minutes inhaling and exhaling deeply.
 
Using mindfulness, you can also centre your mind so it’s not panicking wildly about future threats. Still focussing on your breathing, list five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can smell and two things you can feel.
 
 
Emotionally, we need to to show our mind the evidence that the perceived threat is imaginary or not as significant is it thinks. The first step is to identify the source of our fear: what is making me feel unsafe?
 
Secondly, we can dismantle it, as objectively and compassionately as possible, to reveal the truth: it’s nothing more than we can handle. Write a list of every time you have previously faced this threat or something similar. This will challenge your mind to rationalise its reaction to the perceived menace.
 
If you are regularly overcome with a generalised fear of everything, the essential step is mindful breathing. Recall your mind to the present situation in which you are safe. Once your body is under your control, it’s easier to re-negotiate a positive thought loop with your mind.
 
5. ‘I don’t deserve anything (good)’ and ‘I’m ugly on the inside’
 
This is another tough one. Whenever something good happens to you, be it a promotion, winning a competition or requited love, your leaky thought pattern tap kicks off again. It persuades you that the good things coming your way are more than you deserve and if the world truly knew you, it would give you nothing.
 
Patterns like this one are the pillars of the negative thought process cycle. It robs you of your very right to own your worth, power and talent and receive the love that comes your way. It’s also linked to Imposter Syndrome, in that it convinces you that you are underserving of your place in the world. Everything good that comes your way must be based on an illusion.
Challenge:
 
Whenever this negative thought pattern drips in, write down what it is you are undeserving of. Then, force yourself to write down at least three reasons why you DO deserve it. This might feel forced, dishonest and borderline arrogant.
 
 
However, if you can write down at least three and then read them out loud to yourself until they feel natural, the whole process will become more comfortable. You’ll eventually come to believe yourself when you tell yourself why you deserve good things.
 
 
References:
  1. Dr. Mathieson, A., Clinical Psychologist, personal conversation
  2. Stanny, B., Sacred Success: A Course in Financial Miracles (2014)
  3. https://psychcentral.com


 Valerie Soleil


 


 
About the Author: Valerie Soleil
Valerie Soleil is a writer with over 5 years of experience and holds a bachelor degree in law and a B.A. in Psychology. She is a physical & mental health enthusiast who constantly expands her knowledge about the mysteries of the human body and mind. Some of the activities Valerie is particularly passionate about are traveling and reading because they help her broaden her horizons.
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 

 Archives:
 
 
A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com
 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 
 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 
 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 07:16
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Quarta-feira, 25 / 12 / 19

7 Ways to Truly Tune into Christmas Spirit During the Holiday Season

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted December 24th, 2019.

Christmas Spirit
 


 
 
The holidays are here again. Are you doing something fun or fulfilling this season? It’s time to get into the Christmas spirit!
 
It’s cold outside, but inside it’s cozy and warm, at least for the fortunate ones of us. The winter season is here and it’s brought one of our favorite holidays – Christmas. While some people adore Christmas and love the hustle and bustle of shopping and parties, there are some who have trouble getting into the spirit of Christmas. Some people just don’t know how to enjoy the holidays.
 
The Christmas spirit visits once again
 
You can think of the spirit of Christmas as a wonderful guest, bringing gifts and eggnog, along with toasty scarves to keep us warm. That’s all good and everything, but what about those who cannot envision the spirit of Christmas, and the ones who are presently wishing it was over?
 
I think it’s time we helped them learn how to throw their arms around Christmas and enjoy! Remember, Christmas doesn’t have to be stressful. There are many low-key ways to celebrate the holidays as well. Let’s take a look at a nice mixture of exciting and soothing ideas, so everyone can enjoy the Christmas spirit.
 
Ways to celebrate the holidays:
 
1. Give back to others
 
This Christmas season, instead of worrying about the gifts you may receive, concentrate on giving to others. I don’t mean the normal routine of exchanging gifts around the tree, yeah do that too, but I mean giving to charities.
 
There are many Christmas charities in need of toys, like toys for Tots, or soup kitchens that will be feeding Christmas dinner to those who have nowhere to go. So, why not volunteer to give something back to others who otherwise might not receive anything if you didn’t.
 
2. Listen to holiday music
 
Yes, turn on those jingle bells, and rock around the Christmas tree. It’s time to appreciate Christmas music again. No other time of the year do we saturate our brains with the carols and songs of the holiday. To truly embrace Christmas, we must turn on the tunes, maybe dance around the room, and just enjoy the atmosphere of the joyful season.
 
3. Shop local establishments
 
Instead of maneuvering your way through department stores, try visiting a small family-owned shop. These little stores are usually located in the town center and decorated with Christmas lights and other tinsels. Inside, you will find things like handcrafted knick-knacks, hand-woven scarves and sweaters, and even a few things for the guys.
 
Visiting these places will also support your local entrepreneurs. After all, smaller businesses are the runts of the litter.
 
4. Play in the snow
 
I live in the south, so I rarely see snow all that much. But when I do, I make sure to go outside and enjoy its white brilliance. I love to make snowmen, have snowball fights, and sometimes just stick my tongue out and let snowflakes dissolve in my mouth.
 
 
Anyway, if you get snow every winter, you’re probably used to all that splendor, but you can still enjoy it anyway. As for the ones who rarely see it, we hope with anticipation that snow will come every single Christmas.
5. Enjoy some crafts
 
 
Like a child, we loved to make paper snowflakes or string popcorn to hang on the tree. I don’t know if anyone knows how to do this anymore, or if anyone even thinks about it. Well, it doesn’t have to be these crafts, but enjoying some sort of Christmas creation can definitely help you embrace all the magic of Christmas.
 
Here are a few ideas: bake Christmas cookies, make your own wreath, or build a gingerbread house. Just be creative!
 
6. Enjoy spiritual aspects of Christmas
 
If you are spiritual, there will be many things you can enjoy this Christmas, like viewing the manger scene or visiting the church. If your traditions are different but still spiritual, you can partake in those traditions as well. Now is the time to appreciate your winter season beliefs. So, do what you do and embrace the Christmas spirit.
 
7. Festivities
 
Before you leave work for the holidays, there will probably be an office party. If you’re introverted like me, you will not want to go. Sigh…I hate to say this, but let’s just get out there and enjoy one little celebration before we set our schedules for the holidays as we want them. So go to that party, enjoy in your own way, and wish everyone a Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
 
 
 
It’s time we embraced the Christmas spirit and realize that the holidays are right around the corner. There is always this crescendo that builds and builds until that wonderful Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Once it’s over, most of us feel a little down for a few days, which is another reason why we should embrace the holidays while they’re here. So put on that ugly Christmas sweater and go do something that honors Christmas.
 
I wish you the best this holiday season!
 
 

References:

  1. https://www.thespruce.com
  2. https://www.rd.com

 

 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:
 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com
 
 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 
 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 04:16
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Segunda-feira, 23 / 12 / 19

How Lowering Your Expectations Can Help You Live a Happier Life

Haifa Aboobacker.

learning-mind.com/

December 22, 2019.

 

 

We all have certain expectations in our lives. We all thrive to achieve something or become someone. However, at times, we get disappointed because the outcome didn’t match our expectations. It happens with each one of us when things don’t turn out the way we want them to be. The problem is that when our expectations are too high, and they don’t come about, we tend to feel sad. Aiming for something big in life is good. However, it is suitable only up to a certain level. We shouldn’t expect too much from something. So can lowering your expectations make you happier?

Lowering Your Expectations Isn’t about Settling for a Mediocre Life
‘No expectations, no disappointments‘ is a famous phrase that you might have heard. Is it true? What do you think?


In the first place, many of us believe that it’s true because we feel disappointed when our expectations are not satisfied. Life is strange and ever-evolving. We never know what’s going to happen next. We cannot expect anything unachievable or unrealistic. We have to accept the fact that life has a plan for us. We will achieve the things that are in our destiny.

We cannot change God’s plan. Expectations are the strong beliefs that make us believe that something will happen or something will turn out to be true. In actual fact, we expect certain things because we are not satisfied with the present. As a result, when we can’t accept reality, we tend to think of ideal situations to satisfy ourselves and expect things that can be unrealistic.

Having higher expectations is a sign that you’re not fully living your life. Subsequently, if your expectations are not met, you tend to become sad. Don’t waste your life and worry about fulfilling your expectations.

Instead, get up and take life as it is. Don’t get discouraged. If you wish to make your life easier, stop expecting too much from everything. Life can be more fulfilling, happier and less stressful simply by paying attention to your expectations and taking steps to lower them.

Following are some of the things that you should keep in mind to live a happy life without expectations:

Be aware of your expectations

As mentioned, we all have expectations in our lives that this will happen, or I would get this. However, not all of them get fulfilled. As such, this is the reason why it is imperative to be aware of our expectations. One should know whether their expectations are achievable or not.

Don’t let these expectations dishearten you later. Categorize your expectations as goals, vision, and beliefs. Then filter out things that you can achieve in a time frame and set a time limit for yourself. Don’t expect too much in a limited time frame. Otherwise, it will only discourage you later in the process.

Stop expecting from other people
The best thing that you can do to avoid disappointments would be to have no or zero expectations from others. Your expectations make you feel miserable, so lowering them can make you happier. Stop expecting that people would behave in a way that you want. Open yourself to both positive as well as negative comments.

For instance, you need to understand that you cannot control what other people would think of you. However, what you can do is to accept that they have their opinion and you cannot change it.


Don’t stress yourself for something that you can’t change. We all wish to receive positive comments and positive feedback. However, it cannot happen every time. Therefore, don’t expect strangers or even your known ones to behave in a particular way. Remember, everyone has a different perspective, and you should respect it. Instead, be kind to yourself, and be helpful to people.

Stop expecting people to like you
If one person likes you, it doesn’t mean the whole world will love you. Everyone has a different perspective and different nature. You should never criticize someone for not liking you or for not agreeing with you.

Actually, it is a very foolish act that a person can do to try and make others like them. So don’t get in the battle of being liked by everyone. Instead, love yourself and stay kind to yourself. If you can’t accept yourself for what you are, don’t expect others to accept you and like you.

It is a crazy world, and you’ll meet different kinds of people. Some will like you, and others won’t. The same thing will happen to you. You might meet new and interesting people and you may not like some of them. And that’s life. Don’t expect everyone to be fond of you and like you for your behavior.

You can’t be right all the time
You need to understand that you are not always right. You can be wrong. Likewise, if you think you’re right, it doesn’t mean that others feel the same. Maybe, from their perspective, they don’t find that behavior to be correct.

Therefore, it is advisable to stop needing to be right all the time. If you’re wrong, accept that you’re wrong. Don’t try to prove yourself or justify the fact that you’re right. Take small steps in life and enjoy all the wrongs and rights. Learn from the things that you have done wrong.

Focus on process, not outcome
One of the biggest reasons that we feel disappointed is because we only focus on the outcome and forget the process. We all have goals — however, only a few focus on the process. Most people focus on the outcome and have beliefs in their minds that they would achieve this or that.

If you wish to achieve something big in life, the best thing would be to fall in love with the process. When you start thinking of the outcome, you tend to have expectations. And when you don’t meet those expectations, you tend to feel sad, which sometimes also leads to mental health issues.

The process is the most crucial step. If you have a specific goal in mind, you should work every day to be able to achieve it. Create a timeline, create a plan, and follow the process. At times, plans also fail. Win or lose; you’ll have something to learn.

Stop comparing, stop judging, stop expecting
Comparing yourself to others and judging others are some of the root causes that lead to expectations. When we compare ourselves, our hopes become even higher. We expect more from ourselves, without thinking if it can be achieved or not.

If someone can do that by that age, it doesn’t mean you should also do it. You are unique. You have different strengths and weaknesses. Don’t compare yourself to others and over-think that you should do what they do.

Both judgments and comparisons create negativity. Because of these perceptions and comparisons, we have an additional set of expectations. We tend to believe what we should do and what we should not. Don’t judge others. Set your path so you can be free to live life to its fullest.
Final Thoughts

Life is not perfect. You’ll have peaks of joy along with valleys of heartaches. Don’t add expectations in it. Lower your expectations and appreciate life as it is. Letting go of expectations is one of the best things you can do in your life.

Life is more like a roller coaster ride. Don’t complicate it more by adding your set of expectations. Say yes to the adventure and embrace the beauty of life. Just by lowering your expectations, you can take one step forward towards a happy life.
Haifa Aboobacker


ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Haifa Aboobacker is a growth assistant at AirTract.Com, a social platform in which people ask questions, get answers, read articles, share knowledge and experience. She is a communication engineering graduate and a digital marketing buff who is fascinated by the best SEO practices and content strategies. She loves to make friends and explore places, and she chooses reading in her time off.
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

Alternative to Google
startpage.com

 Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com

 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 
 
 
 
Free counters!

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tags: , , , , , , , ,
publicado por achama às 19:51
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Terça-feira, 17 / 12 / 19

6 Unexpected Ways to Relieve Stress, According to Science

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

December 16th, 2019.

 


 


Stress seems to be just a part of life these days. Whether it’s at work or at home, or on the commute between the two, stress can be unavoidable. A little stress is natural, but when it weighs on us heavily, it can be dangerous for our health. High stress increases our susceptibility to all sorts of dangerous health conditions. Knowing the best ways to relieve stress can be lifesaving.

Sometimes, when the usual techniques aren’t enough, you have to try some more unexpected ways to relieve that stress.

Unexpected Ways to Relieve Stress

Put on A Fake Smile

It seems there is some science behind the idea that you can “fake it ‘til you make it”. Smiling is a way to relieve stress and it works by convincing your body that you aren’t stressed at all. When you smile, you create the face shapes we naturally make when we’re happy. When you’re faking it, you trick your brain into reducing your stress levels. While it’s not recommended to hide your feelings, sometimes, you just have to get through it.

This study has proven that when we smile through stressful situations the intensity of our stress response will reduce. It is especially beneficial for our cardiovascular systems, including the heart. In this particular study, they also tested different kinds of smiles. They showed that full-face smiles, known as a Duchenne smile, are an even more beneficial way to relieve stress.

Some scientists also explain that our brains are wired for socializing. Mirror neurons in our brains make us want to recreate what other people do. This means what if we see another smile, we want to do it too. We can use our smile as a way of relieving the stress of others. By flashing someone a bright smile and letting them do it back, you might be helping them through a tough time.
Look at Fractals

Our brains love soothing patterns, but did you know they were a great, and rather unexpected, way to relieve stress? A fractal is a pattern that repeats identically or at least similarly. These could be created in paintings or drawings, like a mandala. Fractals can also be seen in nature, in places such as leaves, snowflakes, and seashells.

A number of studies have been done by tracking eye movements and using fMRI scans to show our biological response to fractals. They’ve proven that simply looking at fractals is a good way to relieve stress and can even reduce it by up to 60%.

There’s still some confusion about why this relieves stress, but some scientists suggest it should be due to the subconscious concentration that they require, or the repetition involved. Repetition is a great way to relieve stress naturally.

Use Your Thumbs
Unexpected is definitely the operative word. You can actually use your thumbs to relieve your stress. Doctors believe that if you put your thumb in your mouth and seal it, then blow, you can calm yourself down.

The theory goes that this will activate your Vagus Nerve, which is connected to your nervous system, responsible for the stress response. By blowing out in this way, you can reduce your heart rate and blood pressure, which are both heavily affected by stress. This way to relieve stress can even help to treat mild mood disorders.

If you aren’t in a position to put your whole thumb in your mouth, there is also a way to relieve stress by simply blowing on it. Your thumb has its own pulse, so by cooling it down, you can slow your heart rate and feel calmer.

Even eastern medicine has a way to relieve stress using your thumb. Apply pressure, using your thumb, on the side of your middle finger. Do this right at the base of your finger, where it meets your knuckle. This method is said to activate a nerve which loosens the muscles around the heart, helping you to relax.

Chew Gum

There have been countless studies done that show that chewing gum is a great way to relieve stress. The researched showed reduced stress, fatigue, anxiety, and depression in the participants. These studies involved collecting data and samples from volunteers, including saliva, before and after they took on stressful tasks, with and without chewing gum. The results showed measurable differences in their stress levels.

Ancient societies are also known to have chewed as a way to relieve stress. The Mayans and the Greeks would chew tree sap.
Do Some Chores

Deep down, we all know that procrastinating only creates more stress, but it doesn’t stop us from doing it. Research has now shown that putting off tasks is bad for our health! Cleaning, in particular, can be a great way to relieve stress. This study recommends washing dishes. Despite finding it hard to motivate ourselves to do it, once we start cleaning, our stress levels do decrease rapidly.

Scientists believe this could be down to the repetitive nature of the movements that cleaning requires. When we repeat an easy action over and over again, we start to do it on autopilot, allowing our minds to switch off and rest.

Sometimes, the world can seem a little out of control. Scientists have suggested that cleaning and organizing our own spaces can help us to feel some element of control. Finding a sense of control is a good way to relieve stress.

Be Near Plants


We all know that being in nature is a great way to relieve stress, but studies show that simply being in the presence of a plant is good enough. A study carried out at Washington State University proved that having plants around makes workers more productive and feel more focused on their work. They even recorded participants’ blood pressure lowering in the presence of plants.

Studies have shown that employees’ attendance rates rose when plants were introduced to the workplace and they often report feeling that the space was larger.

A study has also been carried out into the effects of plants on hospital patients’ healing. The presence of plants in a medical environment improves patients’ well-being and does help to speed up recovery. Even seeing photos of plants relieve stress.

Scientists have theorized that plants are a way to relieve stress because of their association with fractals and their ability to improve air quality.

As you have seen from the above, stress can be relieved in many ways, no matter how incredible they may sound at first. Do you have your own tricks that help you cope with daily stress and release tension? Share them with us in the comments below!

References:
  1. https://www.forbes.com
  2. https://www.scientificamerican.com

 Becky Storey
 

 



 

About the Author: Becky Storey
 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 


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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

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Quarta-feira, 30 / 10 / 19

What Is Overgeneralization? How It’s Impairing Your Judgment and How to Stop It

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

October 29, 2019.



 
Overgeneralization is a common way of thinking which is rarely referred to by its real name but is done by almost everyone. Most of us do it at least a little. But some of us allow ourselves to dive so deep into overgeneralizing almost everything that our mental health is at stake. We do this every time we jump to the conclusion that one bad thing equals only bad things in future.
 
Overgeneralization is a kind of cognitive distortion. If you overgeneralize, this means you tend to assume one event is representative of something in its entirety. It is similar to catastrophizing.
 
Examples of Overgeneralization
 
For example, if a person once sees a dog being loud and aggressive, they might assume that all dogs are equally as dangerous and decides to avoid them all. In this scenario, the person is overgeneralizing what dogs are really like. This is how most fears are developed – from overgeneralizing after one difficult experience.
 
Dating and your romantic life are often victims of your overgeneralizing thoughts. If you go on one date with a man and he turns out to be an awful and rude person, you might overgeneralize and conclude that all men are just as terrible. As a result, you will struggle to let anyone close to you again.
 
By jumping so such huge, dramatic conclusions, you could be damaging all your future prospects in a whole variety of ways, from romance to your career, friends and even your family. If you convince yourself that “all” of something is bad or wrong, you’ll be cutting off huge chunks of your life.
 
Overgeneralization can be simple in day to day life and not too disruptive though. For example, when you assume that because you once disliked a mushroom-based meal, you’ll never like anything mushroom related at all.
 
These sorts of things aren’t too problematic and tend to create the simple biases we have which dictate our likes and dislikes. However, certain situations can’t afford to be overgeneralized. That’s because they have such a profound effect on your mental health, especially anxiety and depression.
 
Overgeneralizing Yourself
 
If you suffer from low self-esteem, you’re probably upsettingly familiar with overgeneralization. Many of us have moments where we assume far too quickly and let small occurrences affect our overall perceptions. But some people struggle with overgeneralization on a far more personal level and with much more serious consequences on our wellbeing.
 
By jumping to conclusions about ourselves, we tend to limit our potential. Wed reduce our chances of a full, happy life. Overgeneralizing impairs your judgment and your view of the world around you. Is it familiar to you to hear these words from your inner critic? “I always fail” or “I’ll never be able to do that”. If it is, you’re probably suffering from the effects of low self-esteem as a result of overgeneralization.
 
If you’ve tried at something and failed, you’re more likely to be worried about trying again. But there’s a difference between being worried and being certain you simply can’t do it.
 
Failure is normal and even necessary in the pursuit of a dream. But by overgeneralizing, you might allow yourself to think that you’re always going to fail at anything you try in future.
 
This kind of impaired judgment isn’t fair on yourself. And you owe it to yourself to work on stopping this way of thinking. One failure means nothing in the grand scheme of things. One rejection, one slip-up, even many of them, they don’t mean a thing!
 
How to Stop Overgeneralization
 
As you have seen, overgeneralizing can be so damaging to your mental health and your life as a whole. So it’s clearly very important that we work out how to stop this and get ahead of it before it harms your future too much.
 
Remember that nothing is absolute
 
The single most important thing you can do for yourself when you struggle with overgeneralization is to constantly remind yourself that every experience is unique, and nothing is guaranteed by the past.
 
Even J.K Rowling was rejected numerous times before Harry Potter was finally accepted and published. She knew that “some” didn’t mean “all” – and we all know how well that worked out for her. Just because you did one thing wrong, or even a number of things wrong, there’s no reason to believe things will always be that way. You can learn, you can grow, your luck can change.
 
Watch how you talk to yourself
 
To stop overgeneralizing, you also ought to take more notice of the words you use towards yourself. When using negative self-talk, we tend to make huge sweeping statements which are never true. We say things like “I’ll never be good at this”, “I’ll always be a loser”, “Everybody thinks I’m a loser”. And none of those would be true on a small scale, and definitely aren’t true on a large scale.
 
Consider the phrase “Nobody will ever love me”. Most of us have said this line in our darker moments. But this statement excludes the friends and family we have, who do love us. This happens because we’re hyper-focused on what romantic love we don’t have. These sweeping statements are incorrect and take one small thought and apply it to our entire life.
 
This is terrible for our mental health and should be stopped. Try to avoid using words like never, always, everyone and nobody. These words allow you to apply a giant overgeneralization to a small experience. And this will inevitably impair your judgment of yourself and the world around you.
 
Nothing is that widespread and nothing is that final. When you give yourself a chance to see life that way, you’ll feel much better in yourself.
 
Optimism is key
 
Be open to the idea that not everything is all bad. Overgeneralization tends to be used for negative thoughts, allowing yourself to make those bad feelings even worse. Be optimistic that things can and will change and that the past does not dictate your future.
 
Becky Storey
 
 

 

About the Author: Becky Storey
 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 


Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 
 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 16:43
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Sábado, 13 / 07 / 19

Naikan Reflection: How This Japanese Technique Transforms Your Relationships ~ Francesca F.

Naikan Reflection: 

How This Japanese Technique Transforms Your Relationships.

By Francesca F.

July 12th, 2019. 

 

 

Naikan Reflection helps us to better understand ourselves and others in our various relationships.
Relationships are complicated, and it is always easier to focus on the bad parts than the good. Naikan Reflection is a form of genuine self-reflection which aims to help us understand our relationships better.

By understanding the bigger picture, we can see the nuances of a relationship. Most significantly, you may find yourself recognizing cycles of negative behavior, or having a greater respect for what others do for you.

What Is Naikan Reflection?

Naikan Reflection is a structured method of self-reflection which helps us to get a more realistic sense of our relationships with others. It was developed by Japanese businessman and devoted Jodo Shinshu Buddhist, Yoshimoto Ishin.

Those who practice it claim that it helps them to understand themselves and others with who they have relationships.
The Three Questions of Naikan Reflection

Naikan Reflection is based on three key questionswhich help us to reflect on our relationships with others, from friends to family, co-workers to acquaintances.
  1. What have I received from…?
  2. What have I given to…?
  3. What troubles and difficulties have I caused…?
There is a logical fourth question in this series which is ‘What troubles and difficulties have… caused me?’ This question was purposefully ignored because of the belief that this question is responsible for too much misery in daily life.
One of the most important aspects of Naikan Reflection is that it assumes we are all naturally good at seeing an answer to this fourth question. In contrast, true knowledge comes from a little introspection.

Three Different Methods to Practice Naikan Reflection

The general method of practicing Naikan Reflection is to answer these questions in detail.
  • Examine first what you have received from others.
There are times we receive things from others without understanding the sacrifices they made or the thought they gave it. Take the time to understand this and to whom you should be grateful.
  • Next, consider what you have given to others.
We are all susceptible to self-criticism. Taking the time to understand how you are capable of helping others can change our perception of ourselves.
As a result, this is a valuable tool because it helps to boost self-esteem and change our mindset. When we see the good in what we have done without making a conscious effort, we can see the good we are capable of in the future.
  • The final question is not the easiest to answer.
We never like to point fingers at ourselves; doing so can be difficult. Yet, we must understand the hardships we have caused others to truly be introspective. When we see what difficulties we have caused others, we can begin to understand and even repair those relationships.
There are three main ways Naikan Reflection can be practiced, so you can find the right method for you.

Daily Naikan (Nichijo Naikan)

Daily Naikan Reflection takes only 20 to 30 minutes before falling asleep. Sit in a quiet place and minimize distractions. Consider the three questions of Naikan and answer them in relation to the events of the day.
Try to be as specific as you can rather than generalize about ‘receiving food’ or ‘gave assistance.’ It may seem trivial, but it is important to recognize what you should be grateful for and what you offer others.
This method is the simplest. It also keeps the self-reflection we do present in our daily lives.

Naikan Reflection on a Person

Naikan Reflection can be done in reference to a specific person. This method takes a little longer because it focuses on the entire relationship, beginning to end. Start with how you met, and slowly work your way through the ups and downs of the relationship chronologically.
Naikan Reflection on a person gives us greater insight and respect for a particular person. You may focus on a few weeks, or a few years, giving yourself a detailed account of hard times with the gift of hindsight.
You will be able to see how the relationship has strengthened or may be weakened. However, you will be able to see the situation as a whole.

A Naikan Retreat (Schuchu Naikan)

Naikan Retreats can be a scheduled event, or it can be something you venture to do alone. Taking yourself away for a set amount of time to a quiet and secluded place can be mind-opening.
Venture to a peaceful and private spot and give yourself nothing to do but reflect. View your life chronologically and assess all of your relationships in turn.
This is the most intense version of self-reflection and it can take some time to work up to this. However, those who take part in such retreats have profound and life-changing experiences. What is important is that you are sincere and committed to the experience.

Why self-reflection is important

Self-reflection is deeply entrenched in many of the world’s spiritual cultures. There are many different methods of self-reflection which can help open your mind to all that life is.
Naikan Reflection is simply one of many of these methods, but it helps us to form closer bonds through the understanding of our relationships.
Most importantly, practicing this reflection helps us to recognize the importance of others and the positive impact we can have in the lives of others.
References:
  1. https://minds.wisconsin.edu
  2. https://oxfordre.com

 

 

  1.  

 

 

 

 

About the Author: Francesca F.

Francesca is a freelance writer currently studying a degree in Law and Philosophy. She has written for several blogs in a range of subjects across Lifestyle, Relationships and Health and Fitness. Her main pursuits are learning new innovative ways of keeping fit and healthy, as well as broadening her knowledge in as many areas as possible in order to achieve success.
 
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
 
 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 
 
Free counters!

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publicado por achama às 22:44
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Sexta-feira, 05 / 07 / 19

Eckhart Tolle Meditation and 9 Life Lessons You Can Learn from It ~ Sherrie.

Eckhart Tolle Meditation and 9 Life Lessons You Can Learn from It.

By Sherrie.

July 1st, 2019

 
To practice Eckhart Tolle meditation is to allow yourself to be in the present moment. You can grow from this process.
Despite what you may see on the outside, many people suffer from turmoil. Daily lives present new obstacles and heartaches that unfortunately leave impressions and create negative thoughts.
I think I am personally traveling through a mindset like this now. However, in learning about meditation, I feel hope for my situations. Let’s learn more about this process.

Meditation by Eckhart Tolle

Meditation in itself is a powerful tool, as taught by Eckhart Tolle. It’s designed to teach us to silence the mind. Eckhart Tolle, the spiritual leader, helps us realize a slightly different form of meditation – a level of attaining pure consciousness or letting go of the separate ego identity.
As with mindfulness, meditation focuses on you and your surroundings existing in the ‘now’. It doesn’t dwell on or process the multitude of negative thoughts which pass through your mind on a daily basis. Its purpose is to heal us by helping us realize we are one consciousness. Only then can we tame what’s called the ‘ego’.

So, what else can we learn from this meditation?
 
 

1. Learn to let go
 
I’m starting with the past because, before we can move on to other wisdom, we must let go of what has been. The past is not an evil place, but it can hold us captive from time to time.
 
Regret can elevate negative thoughts and literally make us sick. Eckhart Tolle helps us let go of the past with meditation and still honor what we’ve been through. We must let go.
2. Being true to yourself
Meditation helps you recognize your self-worth. It also makes you want to be an authentic person. In a world where so many people wear masks, it’s refreshing to see real people. It’s also a pleasure to be around them.
Being yourself and true to who you make being around other people easier as well. Being real removes the image of you that others have, and also the image that you have created over time.

3. What you give is what you get

Another thing you can learn from Eckhart Tolle and his views on meditation is that whatever you send out, be it negative thoughts, words, or actions, will always come back to you.
There are many ways, in most beliefs that this wisdom is taught. It’s true. You do reap what you sow. If you want good things to come your way, you must project positivity.

4. There is no purpose to worrying

Worry is one of the most destructive thoughts and action. But if you think logically about it, worry does nothing. It is pretty much useless.
No matter how much you worry, you cannot change what is destined to come. You can learn to let go of worry by practicing meditation regularly.

5. The present moment is the most important

If you think about it, the present is the only real thing in life. The past is gone and the future is only anticipation for what’s to come, or what you hope will come.
Hence, you can say, the future and past don’t really exist. Whenever you dwell on time, your here and now is neglected, wasted. You learn to appreciate the present time with the Eckhart Tolle practice of meditation.

6. Remove the importance of objects

I bet you never paid attention to how attached you are to certain objects. Electronics, clothing, and jewelry are addictive. These are extensions of our ego self, separate and selfish. Using meditation, you can learn to let go of the unhealthy attachments you have to material things.

7. Change of mindset

Without meditation, negative thinking can run wild. Eckhart Tolle suggests that using meditation can gradually change your thoughts from negative to positive.
Of course, if you’re dwelling in all things negative, it will take time to shift these feelings. We, as humans, have formed cycles of thinking. We may linger on one side or the other, but we always fall back into the thinking we’ve trained ourselves to use. Have hope because we can learn to shift our mindset.

8. Accept your situation

Some of us may be in difficult situations, and we’re fighting against these problems as hard as we can. But to fight against the present issue is to fight against life. Present life will be as it is, and you have two choices, either accept it or walk away from it.
Now, acceptance doesn’t mean you cannot speak how you feel about the situation, but complaining is something different altogether. You become a victim when you fight against the problem, but you gain power by simply speaking out, calmly and without elaboration.

9. Letting go of control

Unfortunately, many people fall into a habit of controlling others. In many relationships, controlling behavior moves from one person to the other. It sometimes becomes a power play.
In all honesty, control is a weakness, unless it’s self-control. When trying to control every situation, you never experience those positive things that come with change and freedom. Eckhart Tolle teaches us that with meditation, you can learn to let go of control.

The wisdom of Eckhart Tolle

Eckhart Tolle teaches us that we can form too many material mindsets instead of just being. The world is in a rush, all the time. If only we can still our minds and focus on what’s right in front of us, we could completely change our mindset. If we can understand how our separate self is a fictional construct, we can embrace our pure consciousness.
I will leave you with an inspiring quote from Eckhart Tolle.
“On a deeper level, you are already complete. When you realize that, there is a joyous energy behind what you do.”
References:
  1. https://www.elephantjournal.com
  2. https://hackspirit.com
 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 
 
 
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

 Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

 Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

 Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 
Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 
 
Free counters!

  geoglobe1
 
 
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publicado por achama às 20:52
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Quarta-feira, 03 / 07 / 19

What Is Pygmalion Effect and How It Can Bring Positive Results ~ Francesca F.

What Is Pygmalion Effect and How It Can Bring Positive Results.

By Francesca F.

July 2nd, 2019. 

 

 

In a position of power, how you treat those below you makes a huge difference, as proved by the Pygmalion Effect.
Whether we are looking after children, managing staff, or coaching a team, our behavior has a direct influence. It is all too easy to see some as more capable than others, and some as more disruptive. We subconsciously give the higher achievers more attention because we want to give them the best chance. However, were we to give equal expectation to all, we improve the performance of the whole team.
The Pygmalion Effect is a psychological phenomenon which explains why we should have high hopes for everyone, even when they are not initially performing.

What Is the Pygmalion Effect?

The Pygmalion Effect is an interpersonal motivational phenomenon whereby higher expectations lead to an increase in performance. Conversely, low expectations lead to reduced performance in the same way.
It is the very notion of a self-fulfilling prophesy as attributed to sociologist Robert Merton in 1948. In his writings, Merton described the phenomenon of a false belief becoming true over time. This creates a feedback loop whereby we assume we are always correct because we believe ourselves to be. We essentially hypnotize ourselves to achieving what we want.

Robert Rosenthal’s Research

Robert Rosenthal defined the Pygmalion Effect as the phenomenon whereby one person’s expectations for another’s behavior serves as a self-fulfilling prophecy. Rosenthal’s work came to prove that a teacher’s expectations for a student highly influenced the student’s performance.
A group of students took a test which Rosenthal said would be able to identify ‘growth spurters’. ‘Spurters’ are those likely to achieve academically. Rosenthal gave teachers names of pupils Rosenthal said he expected to achieve. ‘Spurter’ students showed a significantly greater increase in performance throughout the year.
‘Spurters’, however, were chosen at random. Rosenthal claimed that the only influence in their performance was the beliefs of the teacher. This proved that the expectation of the teacher, parent, or coach has an incredible impact on the performance of the child.
Rosenthal posed four key factors which explained why this was:

Climate:

Teachers acted warmer and friendlier to those children said to spurters.

Input:

Teachers gave more time and energy into the children said to be spurters.

Output:

Teachers called on spurters more often to give answers in class.

Feedback:

Teachers tended to give more helpful responses and in-depth feedback to children said to be spurters.

It is not only children affected by the Pygmalion Effect.

The Pygmalion Effect is also applicable in the workplace in managerial expectations of employees. Those who receive frequent recognition from bosses will feel more motivated to do even better. Conversely, those who are constantly criticized soon lose motivation to try their best and the quality of work may suffer.
When we look at the phenomenon of the Pygmalion Effect, we can clearly see that the way we treat people can vastly alter their performance. We can even use it to consciously change the behavior of others in a positive way. The more we view people as capable of more, the more likely they are to strive to achieve more.
We can see the converse of the Pygmalion Effect in stereotypes of social class in schools and workspaces. The less we believe in someone, the less they are likely to achieve.
By keeping the four aspects of impact in mind when addressing someone you are managing, you can put the Pygmalion Effect to full use.

The first step is creating a positive environment for all.

Offer the same warm and friendly environment to your entire cohort and they will feel more comfortable and secure. This has a powerful impact on ensuring high productivity because comfortable people work best.

Ensure that you are giving the same time and energy to those who may not achieve as those who will.

Be conscious of your feedback and who you decide to give difficult tasks. You may trust those with a consistently high level of output, but by stretching others, you help them improve.

Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool.

When people feel as though they are achieving, the Pygmalion Effect proves that they will keep striving for greatness.

The Pygmalion Effect is a psychological embodiment of mind over matter.

Reinforcement of expectation and belief that someone can achieve is more likely to bring about achievement than criticism. Understanding the Pygmalion Effect and how to use is a valuable tool in people management.
It can help you to get the best out of your team and increase the performance of those who are under-achieving. You have more power than you realize over those who aren’t achieving. With a little belief, even the lowest achieving member of the team can improve.
Practicing working with the Pygmalion Effect can take time, as people sometimes need convincing that they can achieve more. It is easy to criticize and expect achievement through fear.  Stay consistent and remind each person what is expected of them and offer praise when they achieve. Over time, you will see the results you are looking for and the entire team will increase in performance.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/
  2. https://link.springer.com/

 

 

  1.  

 

 

 

 

About the Author: Francesca F.

Francesca is a freelance writer currently studying a degree in Law and Philosophy. She has written for several blogs in a range of subjects across Lifestyle, Relationships and Health and Fitness. Her main pursuits are learning new innovative ways of keeping fit and healthy, as well as broadening her knowledge in as many areas as possible in order to achieve success.
 
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
 
 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 
 
Free counters!

  geoglobe1
 

 

 
tags: , , , , , ,
publicado por achama às 22:09
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Segunda-feira, 24 / 06 / 19

How to Overcome Inferiority Complex with 7 Methods That Work ~ Sherrie.

How to Overcome Inferiority Complex with 7 Methods That Work.

By Sherrie.

June 23rd, 2019

 

Confidence equals good mental health, and that’s why learning to overcome the inferiority complex is so important.
Having an inferiority complex means you never really feel good about yourself. In fact, most other people in your life seem greater, more intelligent or more talented. Others may also seem beautiful as opposed to your ugliness.
Do these descriptions ring a bell? Well, learning to overcome the inferiority complex is the key to a better life. No one should feel less than anyone else.

Methods to help you change your mindset and overcome inferiority complex

 
Understanding how to overcome the feelings associated with inferiority complex should be your focus. In order to change your mindset, you have to know exactly what you’re facing.
The inferiority complex is not just feeling bad about yourself temporarily, it’s a feeling that persists from day to day – they’re negative feelings you’ve accepted about yourself.

There are methods, however, that help you get rid of these feelings over time:

1. Pinpoint one source

The truth is, you may feel inferior to many people. That’s the horrible nature of the inferiority complex. The good news is, you can focus on one person to help you pinpoint where your weaknesses are. For instance, choose a so-called “superior person”, and ask yourself one question: “Why do I feel inferior to this person?”
Analyzing the one person you picked will help you build levels of confidence. Say you feel that the person is more attractive than you, more intelligent, and more sociable. Well, you can start by finding one thing you can do that they cannot.
There are things, trust me, because no one is perfect. In fact, there may be many things you can do better, but you’ve just focused on your inferior state as opposed to their seemingly perfected one. Do you see? Try this one out as soon as possible. You may be surprised.

2. Positive self-talk

Most of the time, we can learn a great deal about how to get over feeling inferior just by talking good to ourselves. Be honest, how many times have you said, “I’m ugly”, “I’m not good enough”, or “I wish I was more like someone else?” Well, I’m sure we’ve all fallen prey to these thoughts from time to time.
The key here is to practice countering these negative thoughts with positive ones. For each negative talk we have with ourselves, we should strive to have two positive ones.
Over time, you will notice a great change in your confidence level. And if someone happens to insult you, you will be armed and ready to defend your self-esteem.

3. Find the root

Of course, if you want to know how to destroy the inferiority complex, you must remember where it came from. Maybe you have no idea how the negative self-talk and feelings even surfaced. Well, if you experienced rejection or trauma in your early life, inferiority feelings may be deep-rooted and will have to be pulled out and examined.
You can start analyzing yourself or you can seek professional help in this area. Some roots, I must admit, travel deep within your mind.
Some of these roots go far and some are large, meaning they encompass multiple issues, situations and people from your past. This is where untangling roots also come into play. To heal your confidence, you must discover these roots.

4. Gravitate toward positive people

Another way to overcome feelings of inferiority is to surround yourself with as many positive people as possible. Being around positive people remind you of how you’re supposed to treat yourself. They remind you of your worth and talents.
If you’ve noticed, positive people usually don’t criticize others. Instead, they may lovingly point out ways to improve. On the other hand, negative people will always have a way to bring you and themselves down simultaneously.
It’s obvious what you should do in this case. Stay as far away from toxic behavior or negative people as possible.

5. Good mantras and proclamations

Not only should you talk good to yourself, but you should also proclaim your good points. When you feel inferior, speak a positive mantra about yourself.
For instance,  you may say, “I am talented”, and “I am kind”. This helps build you up by speaking your worth out loud. Whether you are spiritual or not, I’m telling you, the spoken word is a powerful thing. It truly is capable of turning things around for the better.

6. Always be yourself

If you’ve fallen victim to idolization, which we all do to a certain extent, then you should step back a moment. Immediately, stop all attempts to be like someone else, right now. After you feel clean of everyone else’s influence, fill yourself with yourself.
That’s right, embrace who you are, and examine all your good points. I bet, you have so much to be thankful for, and so many hidden talents. This simple move can boost your ability to overcome inferiority and other negative complexes.

7. Stop comparisons

That brings me to another toxic and heinous act we fall victim to – comparisons. It’s so easy to feel inferior when we compare ourselves with others. We should never ever do that.
So, for this last method, let’s practice working to better ourselves apart from anyone else. Yes, appreciate others and their talents, but never let those things decide who you should be. End comparisons now.

We can all feel better about ourselves

Learning how to overcome inferiority complex is no easy task, I will not lie. However, being able to accomplish this task allows you to open up to a multitude of possibilities in your life. The ability to be confident is a power that so few actually hold. In fact, the inferiority complex inhabits most of us on some level.
Regardless, we should try every day, to love and appreciate ourselves. We are the only one like us on the face of this earth. We have a mixture of unique talents and characteristics that the world surely needs.
I’m going to say you’re beautiful, talented, and worthy, to help you jump start your journey on defeating the inferiority complex, and also just in case no one else has told you lately.
Be well.
 
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au
 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 


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All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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Domingo, 16 / 06 / 19

The Art of Constructive Feedback: How to Give and Receive It ~ Michelle L.

The Art of Constructive Feedback: 

How to Give and Receive It.

By Michelle L. 

Contributor writer to Learning Mind.

March 16th, 2019. 

 
constructive feedback
 

 

Few people are likely to raise their hands with an enthusiastic ‘me’ when it comes to receiving criticism. But those who are advocates of it know that constructive feedback is not only useful but also essential.
People don’t love feedback too much because they are unfortunate recipients of crippling criticism – the kind that makes them feel as though they aren’t able to do anything worthy. That outlook may change if they understand the difference between negative criticism and constructive feedback that helps them grow.

Telling the Difference Between Constructive and Negative Feedback

Giving criticism is integral to your role, whether you’re a parent or a manager who looks after the performance and welfare of staff. Many people feel that they have done their jobs as long as their children or subordinates receive some feedback. The raw truth is that criticism isn’t useful if it shatters the recipient’s confidence completely.
Delivery is the key, and the first step to doing so effectively is to understand the difference between constructive and destructive criticism.
People use negative feedback if their goal is to shatter a recipient’s confidence. Managers may tell their subordinates how poorly they’ve performed on tasks without providing evidence or reasons for their evaluations. Employees seldom understand why they’ve underperformed or know how to make improvements.
And there is a parallel to the home – parents who give negative feedback to their children may discipline their youngsters without telling them why they have earned harsh criticism.
Constructive feedback, conversely, instills confidence in an employee or child. Think about your favorite teachers when you were in school. They were probably the ones who knew how to point out the errors in your assignments without making you feel as though the topics assigned were out of your league.
Similarly, respected and competent managers are the ones who highlight the flaws in their employees’ performances without making them feel like complete failures at their jobs.

Why Constructive Criticism Isn’t Always Bad

Feedback in any form isn’t easy to swallow. Perhaps you need some convincing.
First of all, feedback tells people about your expectations and improves performance. Learning about their strengths increases the confidence of your employees. They gain the motivation they need to improve their skills and align with business objectives. The person who provides feedback also becomes proficient when doing it.
Furthermore, organizations invest considerable sums of money in finding talent. That said, employees have to spend a significant amount of time learning their roles and responsibilities. Feedback helps them with their work so that companies won’t have to find replacements.
Feedback improves trust. It creates a bond between parents and children. Most children understand that parents mean well when they make suggestions. If you are a manager, giving constructive, open feedback to your employees builds their rapport with you. It inspires loyalty.
A manager’s role is to offer feedback that encourages a staff’s development. It is vital that he or she does so on an ongoing basis and not only when performance reviews come around.

How to Provide Constructive Feedback

Constructive feedback is essential to get others to improve on their shortcomings, without causing ill-feeling or shattering their confidence. Here are a few tips to help you get started.

1. Be specific and focus on the problem

First of all, instead of merely telling people what they need to do better, explain why they need to make improvements. Saying “You need to submit work on time” and leaving the statement open assumes that recipients understand what the problem is. However, this may not be the case – perhaps the employee has never faced the ire of bosses before.
Also, never assume that people have the necessary background information they need. They may not understand how their behavior affects you or others. The more you focus on the problem, the more likely the recipient of the feedback is to address it.
If necessary, tell them how the situation affects you and the rest of the business. The more specific you can make your feedback, the more actionable it will be.

2. Don’t get personal

“Constructive” implies that feedback should focus on impartial observations instead of personal attributes.
“Your draft was poor” isn’t likely to get a warm reception. The recipient of the feedback will probably see it as a personal attack instead of an objective assessment, even if the work is not up to par. Focus on the problem at hand and not the person’s attributes.

3. Use the Sandwich Method

One essential key to making feedback palatable is to include positives with the negatives. It tells everyone that you have a balanced perspective.
Deliver feedback like you would serve a sandwich. State the positives, discuss problems, and finish off with more positive feedback to cushion any sting.
For example, you can tell a child, “You’ve improved your math test score.” Then discuss the areas that need improvement. “But the algebra needs some work.” It’s essential to finish off with, “You’ll become a math whiz in no time.”
You can use this approach if you’re addressing employees. Start with “You did an excellent job this quarter. Sales are up by 15%.” Then, discuss the problem areas.”Customers have mentioned that response times are a little slow.” Round off with “Overall; they are delighted with the work you’ve done.”
Be careful not to be too positive as you may come across as insincere; everyone needs to improve. The Sandwich Method of delivering feedback ensures a balanced perspective.

4. Be direct but informal

Try not to use technology such as email, text message, or the phone to relay your feedback, as this can lead to misinterpretation and make it seem less important than it is.
Don’t deliver feedback via text messages or emails unless circumstances entail otherwise. Using technology may lead to misinterpretation and cause people to dismiss it.
Have an honest chat with the person instead. Try not to beat around the bush because constructive feedback is most effective when delivered straight to the point.
Find a quiet meeting room where you can have an honest and informal one-on-one chat with the employee. At the same time, try not to beat around the bush; whether it’s positive or negative, feedback is most effective when you get straight to the point.

5. Show your sincerity

Make sure that your tone and manner matches your feedback, to avoid confusion. If it’s positive, make sure that your body language shows that you appreciate the person’s efforts. If the input is negative, use a serious tone to indicate that the problem needs addressing.
Again, remember not to address personal attributes to prevent blame assignation or fault finding.

6. Listen

To ensure that your feedback is constructive, allow recipients to respond. The response time is essential, especially if the criticism is negative. It shows them that you are genuinely interested in their interpretation of events and that you sincerely welcome their solutions.

7. Make it timely

Always try to give positive feedback when the employee’s praiseworthy achievement is still fresh in everyone’s memory. Give positive feedback when the achievement is still fresh in everybody’s minds, to ensure objectivity.
Timing is essential when delivering negative feedback. Again, it’s wise to cool off before addressing issues to ensure that you don’t color your feedback with emotion.

Receiving Negative Feedback

Feedback is a two-way street. We receive criticism as often as we give it; here’s how to accept input like a professional.

1. It’s never personal.

First of all, feedback isn’t personal if you deliver it constructively. It merely consists of impartial observations, whether in a business context or otherwise.
It doesn’t matter if the person giving the feedback is being mean or wishes you well. What counts is yourself and your reaction. Respond respectfully and with gratitude. Remember that you’re intelligent enough to discern if the person means well.

2. Ask for examples.

 
Most people try not to offend when giving feedback and therefore skirt around the issues at hand.
They try to be as polite as they can, which is excellent for removing the sting of negativity. However, you will need to provide details if you wish to get to the root of the issue.
 

 

Show that you’re not interested in fault finding but only in solving problems.

3. Get help.

A sure-fire way to show your interest in another person’s feedback is to ask for advice on improving your performance. Say, “I feel the same way as you do and would like to do better. Do you have any advice?”
When you acknowledge the truth of the feedback and ask for advice, you show your willingness to learn. The deliverer of the input is likely to respond with helpful counsel.

4. Share your progress.

You are likely to work on areas that need improvement if you respect the people who deliver the feedback. Share your progress with them and show them that you are willing to take the steps necessary to improve your performance.

5. Be a feedback mirror.

Remember that people make themselves vulnerable to criticism themselves when they deliver it; after all, no one’s perfect.
That may be why people are so rarely honest about what they think of others. Offer yourself as a partner in self-improvement, and you’re likely to become an agent of change.
Constructive feedback produces results without causing any hurt if delivered well. Try these the next time you are a deliverer or recipient.
 

About the Author: Michelle L.


Michelle is a freelance writer who loves all things about life. She has a broad range of interests that include literature, history, philosophy, human relationships, and psychology. When she is not busy writing her heart out, you will find her tinkering jazz tunes on her piano. She loves anything that helps her to grow as a person, including her pet terriers, Misty and Cloudy.


COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.

 
 


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Please respect all credits.

 
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All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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Sábado, 15 / 06 / 19

How to Escape Reality without Drugs with These 7 Safe and Simple Methods ~ Sherrie.

How to Escape Reality without Drugs with These 7 Safe and Simple Methods.

By Sherrie.

June 14th, 2019

 

You don’t need drugs or alcohol to escape reality. There are many ways that you can take a break from life.

 
Let me tell you, I understand how horribly unbearable life can get. And honestly, you have to be present mentally for the most part. It’s just the responsible thing to do. But, there are some times when you just have to escape reality in order to calm down.
Taking this sort of break from life can help you come back to reality with a fresh perspective. It can help you make better decisions and take charge of your future. I am in great need of a few escape hours, even days.

Going it sober

So, as you already know, there are many people who turn to drugs in order to escape the reality of their lives. Although opinions vary, I think science has offered us better ways to get back on track. Prayer and meditation are prime examples.
With these tools, you give control to something else for a while and get that needed rest you so desire. Here are a few other ways to do this as well.

1. Make something

One of the best ways to escape this thing we call reality is to create something. Being creative takes focus.
If you’re paying full attention to the thing you’re trying to create, the negative thoughts will not have room to influence your thinking. And we all know about the negative thoughts that attack our minds from day to day.
So, getting creative by painting, singing, or even cooking a new dish is a great way to escape.

2. Listen to music

No matter how hard it gets, music can take some of the edge off your problems. If you listen to music before surgery, it actually reduces anxiety and fear, helping you relax.
You can actually remove yourself from the situation at hand and get lost in the soothing sounds of music. Although a tiny bit different, listening to nature sounds is a great idea too.

3. Get active

If you’re struggling with some seriously bad life issues, you have to face them head-on. However, if you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed, you can also take a break for a little while. Physical activity not only promotes good mental health, but it also serves as a great distraction from life’s problems that seem hard to solve.
In order to escape the bonds of reality, try just 20 minutes of exercise a day for 5 days a week. You will notice a big difference in how you handle things and how you respond.

4. Take a nature break

If you’re looking for a place to get active and escape your reality for a bit, choose nature. Instead of staying inside, get out and let your mind take in all the natural wonders of life. You can take a hike, go fishing or even go camping.
This helps you stay away from smartphones, televisions, and computers for a while, and much of the world’s troubles can sneak in through electronics. Step away and step into nature for a while. It does work.

5. Read a book

Here’s one of my favorite ways to escapes the worries of reality. Reading a book transports you to another world where your problems probably don’t exist. To help expand this escape, try reading comical stories or stories with uplifting themes.
I sometimes have to force myself to step away from life with a book in hand. As I start to read, I realize that many of us have lost the ability to enjoy the simple things in life. It’s the simple things in life that can actually help us escape our reality, believe it or not.

6. Journal your thoughts

If you’re reading to help deal with reality, you can take a step further, and start journaling your thoughts. This is especially useful when you really don’t have anyone to talk to about your problems.
Keeping a journal allows you to write about what’s bothering you, helping you process these issues in a healthy manner. You may not get any answers from another person this way, but you may learn different ways to deal with your problems after writing them down in a journal.

7. Utilize laughter

Have you ever heard the saying, “laughter is the best medicine”? Well, honestly, it can sometimes be just that. You might not be able to find many things in your life lately to laugh about, but if you purposely watch a comedy or read a funny book, you can coax a bit of laughter from deep within.
The act of laughing can improve your mood by releasing endorphins and increase blood flow.

An escape can save your life

Unfortunately, some problems become more than we can handle. If life gets too heavy, we can fall into depression and totally lose control. This can happen with anxiety as well.
It’s important to escape reality from time to time so you can figure out what’s best for you and for your individual situation. You can clear your head and organize your priorities until things seem sane again.
I know this because I often have to get away just to catch my breath. I use these methods in my life. I hope these ideas work for you as well.
References:
  1. https://lifehacker.com
  2. https://www.cheatsheet.com
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 


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All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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Quinta-feira, 06 / 06 / 19

10 Philosophical Quotes about Life That Reveal the Truths We Often Neglect ~ Francesca F.

10 Philosophical Quotes about Life That Reveal the Truths We Often Neglect.

By Francesca F.

June 4th, 2019. 


 

 
It is all too easy to focus on the wrong things, but these philosophical quotes will remind you of what is truly important in life.
 
Philosophy offers a lot to the world. More than anything, it gives us insights into what is really important in life. Work, money and other responsibilities distract us from the bigger picture, making us forget to take a moment to enjoy life.
 
These philosophical quotes will help you to remember all of the good things life has to offer and remember to look at the bigger picture.
 
 
“The more a man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large” – Confucius
 
 
 
Positivity is a powerful force. It can be hard to focus on good thoughts but there is a strength in being grateful for what we have.
 
The more we focus on the good things in our lives, the happier we become. We then radiate that happiness and positivity to those around us. The more people focussing on positivity, the more positive the world will be as a whole.
 
It’s not true that one person can’t make a difference. You may inspire others to focus on positivity and they, in turn, will inspire those around them.
 
 
“The secret of happiness, you see is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less” – Socrates
 
 
 
They say that money can’t buy happiness and they are not wrong. We constantly think that the more we have, the happier we will be. The truth is, we need to be grateful for what we have.
 
There is someone out there who is happy with less than what you have. We are lucky to be where we are, and we should take the time to be grateful for the things we do have. We are not unhappy because we do not have more, but because we do not appreciate what we do have.
 
 
“If you are depressed, you are living in the past, if you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present” – Lao Tzu
 
 
 
We naturally worry about future commitments and upset about things in the past. Future commitments can make us anxious and the past can be painful. However, when we focus too much on these things, we stop focussing on what is happening in the present.
 
When we focus on what is happening right now, we can let go of our past, even if only temporarily. By focussing on right now, we can do what is necessary to meet our future obligations. By focussing on the present, we can ourselves peace of mind.
 
 
“Life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced” – Soren Kierkegaard
 
 
 
Sometimes our default is to be in survival mode and this means we constantly look for the next problem to solve. This, however, takes away from what life has to offer, and this quote on our list of philosophical sayings is a powerful reminder.
 
 
Life is full of opportunities to stop, take a breath, and just experience what is in front of you. Try allowing yourself to slow down, take a breath, and experience all that life has to offer.
 
 
“No amount of anxiety makes any difference to anything that is going to happen” – Alan Watts
 
 
 
Sometimes things are just out of our control. That doesn’t mean they aren’t scary or anxiety-inducing. Although it’s natural to be stressed about that which we can’t change, we can’t let that stress become all-encompassing. If you cannot change a situation, do not allow it to consume you.
 
 
“Prejudices are what fools use for a reason” – Francois Voltaire
 
 
 
The world has become full of prejudices, but prejudices can be dangerous. Not only can they be used to sway our opinions, but they also close our minds to new experiences. True knowledge comes from recognizing your prejudices and educating yourself.
 
 
“If you hate a person, then you are defeated by them” – Confucius
 
 
 
Hate takes a lot more energy than letting something go. If you spend time feeling angry at someone, you spend time actively thinking about them. This takes away from time you can spend doing other things.
 
When you’re losing time and energy hating a person, you are always losing. Let your grudges go and be the bigger person.
 
 
“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it” – Aristotle
 
 
 
Education opens the mind to a whole new world of experiences, thoughts, and opinions. An important part of the process is listening to the opinions of others and discussing them. Other people will open your mind and teach you things you may not expect.
 
 
“It does not matter how slowly you go, as long as you do not stop” – Confucius
 
 
 
Determination is an important part of achieving any goal, but setbacks will happen. It’s important not to let them get to you. Don’t give up on your goals, no matter how difficult they feel.
 
 
“The madness of love is the greatest of heaven’s blessings” – Plato
 
 
 
Love is the most incredible experience life has to offer. Despite being messy and complicated, love brings us so much joy. Don’t be afraid of the complications. Love is one of the greatest blessings life can give, as stated by one of the most well-known philosophical quotes.
 
There are so many philosophical quotes about life that can give us the insights we need. We may not realize we need them, but it can make us realize what is truly important.

 

 

  1.  

 

 

 

 

About the Author: Francesca F.

Francesca is a freelance writer currently studying a degree in Law and Philosophy. She has written for several blogs in a range of subjects across Lifestyle, Relationships and Health and Fitness. Her main pursuits are learning new innovative ways of keeping fit and healthy, as well as broadening her knowledge in as many areas as possible in order to achieve success.
 
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
 
 
Please respect all credits.
 
 
Discernment is recommended.
 
 
 
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


More @ http://violetflame.biz.ly and https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/
 

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Israel ou Cazária!

PT: Israel é na verdade Cazária

EN: khazaria (VI-XI century Jewish Caganate)

EN: Israel (or Khazaria&#39;s nazism!?)

EN: Ashkenazi Jews are not Israelites

EN: Old and New Khazaria

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