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Terça-feira, 19 / 05 / 20

5 Ugly Truths about Life That Will Make You a Better Person

 

5 Ugly Truths about Life That Will Make You a Better Person

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted May 19th, 2020.

 
 
 
 
ugly truths about life.
 
 
It isn’t always easy to become a higher version of yourself. There are ugly truths that must be faced in order to change for the better.
I’m not here to say you are a bad person. I cannot make that judgment. But the truth remains, there is always room for improvement, and you can see it in what you’re not doing.For instance, take a moment and write down a few positive actions you’re taking. Don’t write down your qualities, no, think about what you’ve actually done that’s brought about a positive outcome or helped someone. Ugly truths say that list may be short. It may be hard to think of any positive actions you’ve taken lately, even though you do mean well.
I can attest to this myself. I talk about all the things I want to do to help someone, but I only accomplish around a fraction of those things. To be a better person in life, I have to glance into the ugly face of truth for myself. There are many things I can do in order to become the person I want to be. It is hard sometimes to face up to this.
There are a few examples of ugly truths, in case you’re wondering what’s holding you back. Take a look.

Ugly truths that bring good outcomes

1. The world only wants what you can provide

No matter how good of a person you think you are, the world only cares how much you can provide with the skills you possess. Do you think the world thinks about your charming personality or your empathetic nature?
I’m sorry, but to the world, these things are just pretty icing on a cake that may or may not taste good to them. What the world wants is someone who can make money, build things, produce things, and provide any demand it throws out.
So, to be a better person, you must accept this truth. It may be a mean spirited attitude that the world has, but it’s the ugly truth, that the worlds wants. When you accept this raw honesty, what happens is you learn to love yourself despite what the world wants. You can choose to provide however you wish, and understand that this is what the world likes, but you can also appreciate who you are, and this makes you better for it.

2. People will let you down

Do you remember telling your best friend that secret and how they promised to never tell anyone? Yeah, they told someone, maybe even a few people. A good friend once told me that when you tell one person a secret, at least one other person will know, and so on. The ugly truth is, it is almost impossible to have a friend who doesn’t spill the beans occasionally, and at least to one individual.
And that’s not all, people will disappoint you in other ways too. If you think you will get into a relationship and it will be perfect, you are delusional. It will be bad at times, maybe many times. Your employer will not be perfect, your family will not be perfect. People are imperfect and they cannot do the right thing 100% of the time. So, get used to it.

3. What’s worthwhile requires hard work

You will never be able to have something truly special or productive if you don’t work really hard. I know this is not what you want to hear, but it’s the hard truth. You know those laid-back people who believe in “taking it easy”, yeah, they usually don’t fulfill great goals in their lives. I promise, just watch them for a while and see for yourself.
If you want to stand out and get a promotion, for instance, you must work your butt off and do so in such a way that you get noticed as a highly productive employee. If you work a little, you will reap only a small reward. If you stay busy and productive, you can fulfill great dreams.

4. Perfect happiness doesn’t exist

If you think some particular thing is all you need to be perfectly happy, you are wrong. There is nothing in the world that can make you happy to the point where you will have no other troubles.
True happiness is within, and I am sure you’ve heard this before. Now, this is true, but, this true happiness from within will also never be perfect. Life is not perfect, we are not either, and the ugly truth is… happiness is fleeting. However, there is nothing wrong with pursuing it anyway. Just always be aware that it doesn’t last forever.

5. You will die

Did you know that for the most part, we ignore the fact that we’re going to die? It might not be tomorrow, next month, or even next year. In fact, we may live a hundred years. But, the fact remains, we will die.
This is an ugly truth that should have you organizing your priorities and getting the most out of each and every day. But since we ignore, deny, or just turn our face away from death, we get lazy and we procrastinate. Yes, I guess I’m preaching doom and gloom here, but to be honest, you will, someday, somehow… die. So, face it and be better for it too.

The ugliness of truth will help you

Thinking that life is a fairy tale may be fun in the short term, but it will make you waste away in the long run. If we face things in truth, we can find ways to better use our time, hopefully, wisely.
I cannot brag about this at all. I think sometimes I am terrible at facing the truth and its ugliness, and I watch hours of television or scroll mindlessly on the computer. Is this a pattern you recognize in yourself.
I urge you, as a fellow procrastinator, to join me in facing the ugly truths of life. It will hurt, but just think of how worthwhile your life will be when you stop denying what’s really happening. We can do this.
I have faith in you. 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.


 


Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 20:06
Domingo, 10 / 05 / 20

6 Traits of Resilient People You Can Cultivate

6 Traits of Resilient People You Can Cultivate

Jamie Logie, B. Sc.

learning-mind.com

May 9th, 2020 .

 

 
 
What is it about resilient people that makes them able to handle any adversity? What can we learn from them to become resilient ourselves?
 
Some may say that the key to success in life is the ability to be resilientThere are many other great attributes that make up a well-rounded person, but resiliency may surpass them all. Life throws so much at us and the resilient person can take it in stride and not crumble under the pressure and setback.

This article will look at what traits resilient people have and how you can cultivate them to enhance your own life.

What Does True Resilience Look Like?

It’s hard not to look at the future in a positive mindset. There is no harm in doing this, but the problem is that you can expect all your ideas to come to fruition. In a perfect world, everything would go smoothly all the time. But we all know this is not the case. We hope and dream for a multitude of blessings and fortune – but we don’t anticipate the negatives in quite the same way.

When the challenges of life hit, some of us are better equipped to handle them than others. Resilient people can swim instead of sink, bend instead of break, and persevere instead of crumble. The best way to look at what true resilience is is to recognize it as inner strength. It’s the ability to bounce back from life’s inevitable disappointments, failures, and pains.
A good way to look at this is like the shock absorbers on a car. If you were to ride in a car without shock absorbers, you would feel all the bumps and holes as you drive. Every ride would be a miserable experience. Resilience is like putting shock absorbers on a car to help absorb and create a more comfortable ride.
 

The good news is that this inner strength can be learned – just like any other skill. It takes some practice – but it is achievable, and that means looking at the traits of resilient people. This way, we may be able to cultivate them to create our own inner strength.
So what are some of these traits that you should look to replicate in your own life?

Let’s look at 6 traits of resilient people:

1. Resilient People Recognize That They Can’t Change Things

There are many small things that are completely in our control; you can enjoy your favorite entertainment, choose who you spend your time with, or pursue your favorite hobbies. This can add to your life tremendously, but what about the big things that are out of your control?
This is one of the biggest traits of resilient people. They understand that a large majority of the things that happen in their life they have no control over. They don’t ignore the hardships and setbacks but realize they are happening out of their control.
This allows for a sense of peace and the ability to deal with them sooner. The person who blames the situation and tries to control it is only in for frustration, anxiety, and hopelessness. The longer they spend time thinking they can change things out of their control, the longer it takes to finally move past it.
The resilient person can recognize what is out of their hands, not spend long dwelling on it, and not allow it to defeat them. Accepting that you cannot control everything is actually a way to take control of your life.

2. Resilient People Are Not Fragile

Fragility may be the opposite of resiliency. Fragility means that everything upsets you. From big world events, down to small trivial matters, everything can upset and derail you. With so many things upsetting you, you end up spending a lot of your time feeling angry, hurt, and pessimistic.
Resilient people can combat this fragility. This is not to mean they aren’t sensitive, or experience negative emotions, it just means they can combat them. They are more able to acknowledge things that may upset them but not allow them to take them down.
It’s important to point out that any huge life-crushing situation will set back any individual – no matter how resilient. What we’re talking about here when we refer to fragility are the day-to-day issues that can upset you and prevent you from happiness. Resilient people recognize the things that upset them, but that’s as far as they let it go.

3. They Have a Good Perspective

Change Your Opinion about Yourself
People who are resilient can step back and assess their situation with as much objectivity as they can. They can investigate the situation and ask questions like:
  • “How bad is this problem?”
  • “Have I overstated it?”
  • “Am I giving this situation an unnecessary amount of attention?”
Resilient people can see their own lives from the perspective of others. Often, we become so self-absorbed that we can’t see the situation for what it truly is. When the smallest thing feels like the end of the world, it’s important to take a step back and try to look at it from an outsider. It’s easy to do this when you’re analyzing another person and you need to do this with yourself in order to build resiliency.

4. A Person Who Is Resilient Asks This One Big Question:

It’s a simple approach, but asking yourself, “What’s the worse that can happen?” is a very powerful thing. In most cases, the worst thing that could happen isn’t really that bad. Most of the time, it’s not even that likely to happen. A good quote to sum this up is:
“Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday”
Things seem their worst because of anticipation. When you end up getting to those real scenarios, they often aren’t as bad as how you built it up in your mind. And, again, not even likely to happen in the first place.

5. Resilient People Keep Good Company

We often hear that we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. Resilient people make sure that the people they spend their time with only add to their life. If you’re surrounded by negative and pessimistic people, this will rub off on you.
To become more resilient, it may mean eliminating certain people from your life or spending less time with others. Resilience can be infectious, and the best way to adopt this is to be around others from whom you can cultivate it.

6. They Take Care Of Themselves

This may seem obvious, but it is often overlooked. Resilient people know that they have boundaries and limitations. They don’t allow themselves to push it too far, and they know when enough is enough, and they practice various forms of self-care.
Resilient people do everything they can to be at their best. This means adhering to things like exercise and proper nutrition. They get adequate sleep and don’t try to burn the candle at both ends. Choosing to live this way will only cause you to burn out, which is the opposite intention we should strive for.
You can’t be resilient if you are exhausted, weak, and not properly nourished. So start to get those things in order and they will naturally help to build up your inner strength. Self-care helps build resiliency as it requires discipline and dedication, both of which build that inner strength.

Final Thoughts

In the same way you couldn’t run a marathon without training, you can’t build resiliency overnight. The first step is to recognize the traits of resilient people and look to copy them. By observing some of their traits like the ability to keep a good perspective, ask the right questions, and combat fragility, you can become resilient in your own way.
This is a skill that takes some inward analysis, and maybe a bit of struggle to achieve it. But this is all part of the journey that resilient people find themselves on, and you can too.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/
  2. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/
  3. https://www.apa.org/

About the Author: Jamie Logie, B.Sc.

Jamie Logie is a certified personal trainer, nutritionist, and health & wellness specialist. He holds a bachelor of science (B.Sc.) degree in Kinesiology from the University of Western Ontario, studied sociology and psychology at Western University and has a counseling diploma from Heritage Baptist College. He has run a blog and top-rated podcast on iTunes called "Regained Wellness". Jamie is also a contributing writer for places like the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, LifeHack and has an Amazon #1 book called "Taking Back Your Health".

COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 00:05
Terça-feira, 05 / 05 / 20

Why Intellectual Humility Is Important and How to Develop It

Why Intellectual Humility Is Important and How to Develop It

Lottie Miles, M.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted May 5th, 2020.

 
intellectual humility.

 


We are all inclined to believe we know and understand more than we know. However, as the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates was well aware, what we think we know is not really knowledge at all. We may well want to cling stubbornly to our beliefs and believe we are more correct than others. But people who practice intellectual humility are better listeners, learners, and more self-aware. So what is intellectual humility and how can it be developed?
In this post, we will explore what it means to be intellectually humble, why intellectual humility is important, and how to develop it.
What is intellectual humility?
Intellectual humility means recognizing that the things you believe dearly could actually be wrong. Unlike general humility, it is not centered on having a low view of one’s own importance or a lack of confidence. Rather, it is a way of thinking.
At its heart, it incorporates accepting the possibility that what you think might be wrong. In addition, to be intellectually humble, you must be keen to learn from the experiences of others.
Intellectual humility demands for you to think about your own limits. This trait is classically important in the ideal application of the scientific method. Here, you are expected to actively test against one’s own hypothesis in order to ensure it is robust. In recent years, the concept has received growing attention amongst social psychologists with the loss-of-confidence project. This project aims to de-stigmatize admitting a loss of confidence in your own research results.

Why is intellectual humility important?

So why is it important to be able to admit we could be wrong about what we think? Well, for one thing, it will make us less defensive when challenged about our beliefs. This approach also forces us to think about our blind spots, opening up new lines of inquiry we may not have seen before.
Porter & Schumann’s study found that intellectually humble people are better at listening to opposing views. This makes them more likely to seek out information challenging to their own world-view and question evidence more carefully. Kross’s study confirmed this, finding the intellectually humble were more likely to be wise.
Intellectual humility is important because it demonstrates the promotion of arrogance and overconfidence prevalent in our society is foolish. When we recognize we could be wrong, we listen more to others. We can learn more from those we might have instinctively disagreed with offering benefits for scientific robustness.
We can also learn more than we thought possible with an un-fixed approach to knowledge. Indeed, being intellectually humble can enhance our drive to succeed and openness to new ideas. It frees us from a focus on our potential to be wrong necessarily being bad. Being wrong is inevitable! Breakthroughs in knowledge are only possible when we see things differently than we saw them before.

How can you develop intellectual humility?

If our ignorance is invisible to us, then how can we become aware of it? The author Shane Snow, devised an intellectual humility test to measure where you stand on 4 key areas of importance for the intellectually humble. There are 4 areas we need to work on in order to develop intellectual humility. Here, we outline what these are and how you can develop intellectual humility in each:

1. Respect for the viewpoints of others

To succeed in this, you should try to recognize the moral underpinnings of the viewpoints of others. Try to empathize with what they tell you. You can even try engaging in more playful ways with someone you wouldn’t usually. This will reduce your fear of them and their positions. Living abroad, learning new languages, and reading broadly are also great ways to increase your intellectually humble skills in this area.

2. Fostering a lack of overconfidence our own intellectual ability

Looking at the math that shows how groups can become greater than the sum of their parts by valuing diverse perspectives within them. You can easily practice this skill by actively saying ‘I might be wrong’ after expressing a strong viewpoint. Feel confident to admit when you don’t know something. This can help us be more empathetic and understand why we need it.

3. Separating our ego and our intellect

To improve your intellectual humility in this area, you should get to know your strengths and weakness when it comes to your personality traits and ego. Try to recognize when you react personally to viewpoints that challenge your own. By identifying your emotional responses, you can become more objective and open to listening. You may even seek out ego death.

4. Being willing to revise our viewpoint

Being truly intellectually humble requires us to respect the viewpoints of others. To develop this skill, we can practice actively revising our viewpoint. How could we think about what we believe differently? Can you unpick a fundamental belief you hold? Envision yourself as someone with a diametrically opposed view to your own. Try to think of what they would argue and you might see some of your invisible blind-spots.
Being intellectually humble requires us to listen more and talk less. It requires us to be empathetic to others, and be less emotionally attached to our own viewpoints. When we open our minds to water others have to offer, we can take the first steps to improved understanding and wisdom.
References:
  1. https://www.smithsonianmag.com
  2. https://plato.stanford.edu
  3. https://hbr.org


 

 

Lottie Miles

 




 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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All articles are of the respective authors or publishers responsibility. 
 


 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 
 

 

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publicado por achama às 22:23
Sexta-feira, 01 / 05 / 20

5 Signs a Lack of Self-Awareness Is Hindering Your Growth

5 Signs a Lack of Self-Awareness Is Hindering Your Growth

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

April 29th, 2020

 

When you have a lack of self-awareness, you might feel a sense of inner chaos. You won’t know why you do the things you do, or what motivates you to do them. You just flow through life with no real direction.
Self-awareness is all about knowing yourself. If you are self-aware, then you’re in touch with your wants and needs. A self-aware person understands their own personality and what makes them tick. You would know yourself like you know a friend and accept their strengths and weaknesses all the same. With self-awareness comes a sort of calmness. You’re aware of your true inner self and are able to make changes or accept what you have to.
If you lack self-awareness, you’re hindering your personal growth. You can only work on your flaws if you can identify what they are and why you have them. Similarly, you can only play to your strengths if you know what they are.
Understanding if you are suffering from a lack of self-awareness is the first step to take when you’re hoping to achieve some personal growth.

5 Signs of a Lack of Self-Awareness

1. You’re Defensive

Being able to accept flaws and failures is a skill that very self-aware people have. If you lack self-awareness, then you’re likely to be unable to process and understand criticisms well. Without a genuine and balanced view of your inner self, it’s going to be easy to rock you with slight complaints.
Some people who have a lack of self-awareness will be defensive of themselves when someone gives them a critique. Instead of seeing themselves in a realistic light, they see what they want to see. This means everything they believe is rocked when someone has a complaint.
Rather than listening to the feedback you’ve been given and taking the information on board; you go straight to the defensive. You’d rather argue for hours about your shortcomings than accept that you’re flawed. This is because of a lack of connection with yourself. If you don’t know how to communicate with yourself, even the smallest criticism will feel like an attack.
Surprisingly, this could also apply to compliments. If you’re lacking in self-awareness, you might only notice your flaws. Instead of being in touch with yourself in a balanced way, you can only see one side. You might be defensive when receiving compliments, assuming it’s a joke or that the offering was just plain wrong. You could find yourself arguing back, giving defensive reasons why you shouldn’t accept the compliment.

2. You Have No Control Over Your Emotions

Knowing yourself means knowing your emotions. If you can’t identify the emotions you’re feeling or the triggers that caused them, then you’re likely to have a lack of self-awareness. People who have no control over their emotions tend to fly off the handle regularly because they aren’t able to settle themselves. When you have a good sense of self-awareness, you become able to not only identify your triggers but identify what you need to do to solve them.
Having no emotional control means often avoiding situations that might be emotionally arousing. If you’re used to being unable to handle how you feel, then you probably choose not to experience emotions at all. This sounds smart at surface level, but living means embracing emotions – good and bad.
Having a lack of self-awareness with little emotional control will put your friendships, relationships, and career at risk. No one enjoys being around a person who spirals out often with no real understanding of why. You might get angry too easily or be too quick to become hysterical at minor negative moments.

3. You Never Take the Blame

Similar to being defensive, making excuses is a way of rejecting your flaws. There is always a reason for your behavior or decisions that don’t even involve your own shortcomings.
For example, being late for an event. Instead of admitting that you should have done better, you’ll find a hundred excuses. There was traffic, your alarm didn’t go off, your dog ate your shoes. Self-aware people are much better at saying sorry, and that they’ll simply try harder next time.
Your excuses may be totally valid at times. The difference between having or lacking self-awareness is the ability to take on board what you might have learned (for example, to set an extra alarm next time) and admitting a failure this time. A sign of personal growth is being able to accept a mistake without anger or embarrassment.
People who lack good self-awareness also consider themselves to be innocent bystanders in life. They acknowledge that something isn’t right, but they are convinced that they aren’t to blame. Everyone else is. Group projects fail because of the others, right?
If you don’t see the connection between your actions and the outcome, then you’ll never grow as a person. No more excuses, no more shifting the blame. By developing a connection with your inner self, you’ll be better able to accept that you haven’t been at your best and allow that to help you grow.

4. You Are Never Satisfied

If you don’t truly know yourself, you won’t know what you really want from life. If you have a lack of self-awareness, you won’t be truly aware of your hopes and dreams. This means you’ll just be floating through life, doing what feels right for the time being, but isn’t given you that feeling of fulfillment.
Without that inner connection, you’re destined to lead a boring life. You’ll simply feel stagnant. Stuck in a “just alright” life because you never got in touch with your true self. When you get to know yourself as a friend, you’ll know where you want to be. Knowing what motivates you to get up each day will propel you forward.
Similarly, in your relationships, lacking self-awareness will mean you accept treatment and a lifestyle that doesn’t make you feel satisfied.

5. You Have Beliefs You Do Not Understand

Perhaps the most obvious sign of having a lack of self-awareness is having beliefs you can’t explain. These might be religious or political, or just morals and values you navigate your life by. Instead of having self-awareness that causes you to connect with your inner self, you’ve just taken on the beliefs of the crowd. This crowd might be the people you spend your time with now or the way you were taught to believe as a child.
If you can’t fight for your beliefs and answer the question “why do you feel that way?”, then you might be lacking in self-awareness. You’ve taken on ideas at a superficial level because it’s what you’re used to. You haven’t developed the thought and meaning behind these beliefs as people with self-awareness do.
When you look inwards and get to know yourself, you might realize some of those beliefs don’t sit well with you anymore. You might even see you have important values that you never knew you had.

A lack of self-awareness forces you to live a surface level life.

Your career, relationships, and friendships may never feel meaningful enough because you don’t know what you genuinely want. Being self-aware could have the power to change your life. When you give yourself time to become self-aware, your personal growth will take off, and you’ll begin truly living your best life.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://www.inc.com
 
 
 
 

 

Becky Storey
 

 




 

About the Author: Becky Storey


 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
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Alternative to YouTube
bitchute.com
brighteon.com

 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 01:22
Sábado, 25 / 04 / 20

Realistic Optimism Is Not Blind Positivity: How to Cultivate It

Realistic Optimism Is Not Blind Positivity: How to Cultivate It

Jamie Logie, B. Sc.

learning-mind.com

April 24, 2020 .

 

 

 

Optimism isn’t always the easiest way to approach life, but is realistic optimism more ideal?
We would all love to be as optimistic as possible all the time. Unfortunately, this will not be the case – and that’s ok. It’s fine to acknowledge that things aren’t always going to go perfectly despite our desires for that. Keeping a positive state of mind, and practicing realistic optimism, may serve you better than blind positivity.
The difference between the two is is that blind positivity contains a sense of ignorance to it. Ignorance does not mean stupidity, it just means a lack of knowledge about something. Taking a blind positivity approach may seem like an ideal mindset, but it will not do you any favors in the long run. Blind positivity makes you shut out the outside world. It puts a pair of blinders on your head and doesn’t allow you to face reality.
Blind positivity creates a false sense of reality and it glosses over areas of life, creates ignorance, and shuts out a lot of the world. The big issue with this is that it causes you to minimize experiences, and this can slowly eat away at your life.
This article will look at why realistic optimism is a much better approach and ways to cultivate it.

What Is Realistic Optimism?

Ideally, you don’t want to be overly pessimistic, and also not blindly positive. Realistic optimism lies somewhere in the middle. It is thought that optimism is only helpful when it’s realistic.
One great definition of realistic optimism comes to us from the medical world. If you are coming out of a major injury, or serious illness, you have to be realistic in how you approach the immediate future. One must ease back into daily activities and understand what the limitations are. Some things will limit you, some will be off-limits, but others will be possible.
This is the approach that embraces realistic optimism – understanding your limitations. Realistic optimism acknowledges negativity, but it doesn’t dwell on it.
Another way to look at realistic optimism is how you respond to when life knocks you down. It’s easy to take a negative approach and feel pity and self-sorrow.
We all have negative thoughts, there’s no denying or escaping that. So why do some people remain positive while others are extremely negative and pessimistic? If we all share these negative thoughts from time to time, what allows you to break free from them?
Here are some ways to cultivate realistic optimism:

1. Understand What Is And Isn’t In Your Control

In the case of the person coming off of an illness, injury or setback, the first thing to do is to start with a list of what you can do, what you have difficulty doing, and then the things you just can’t do.
Seeing the list of the things you can do can be a great way to boost optimism while being realistic – as the list may be longer than you expected. The list of things you would have difficulty doing can also create some optimism as it means they are not totally ruled out.
This middle list can give you a challenge and it can help you create realistic goals and timelines to accomplish this. Having a goal is always a great way to stay positive, motivated, and optimistic.

2. Understanding You Can’t Change The Past, You Can Only Change The Present

It’s so easy to dwell on past mistakes and screwups. You may wish you could just go into your mind and rip these negative thoughts out to never be seen again. It can get to where you feel these bad memories define who you are and you can’t escape them. The realistic optimism approach is to remember that you can’t change the past, you can only change the present.
When a memory that comes up that you wish you had reacted better to, tell yourself that this was the best you could do at the time. It’s ok that you didn’t have enough information, or weren’t strong enough then. Instead, learn from it and use it to make better decisions in the future.
There’s no point in beating yourself up for past mistakes as they are over and done with. Realistic optimism is about working with those negative thoughts, but keeping them in the past so they don’t prevent you from moving forward.

3. It’s All About Being Proactive In Your Approach

The realistic optimist is still at their core, passionately optimistic. They are just able to see things from all viewpoints and take in, and process, a variety of information.
Not only are they very aware, but they are also very proactive in making things happen and knowing they will succeed. Some of the most successful people are realistic optimists as they take all the best elements of realism, and optimism, and combine them together.
Realistic optimism is all about perseverance and determination. It acknowledges that setbacks will happen, but they don’t have to define or disrupt you. Winston Churchill was the definition of the realistic optimist, most notably, when he said: “Never, never, never give up.”

4. Give Yourself More Credit

Again, it’s easy to focus on the negative. We seem to do that as it’s away to avoid taking responsibility for our own actions. If we can blame things on our circumstances, we’re off the hook for being an active participant in our own lives. Realistic optimism understands that things will not always be perfect, but makes it a point to celebrate the small wins.
It’s the approach that every cloud has a silver lining, and list what you did best – however small it may be. Don’t be afraid to pat yourself on the back and celebrate your successes.

Final Thoughts

Blind positivity sounds nice, but it’s not a realistic way to go through life. On the other hand, you don’t want to be focussed on negative pessimism. Both of these are surefire ways to rob yourself of true joy.
Realistic optimism emerges as the perfect alternative to both. Being realistically optimistic allows you to be as positive as possible despite the circumstances, while not ignoring the hardships. The sooner you can come to grips to letting go of the things out of your control, and embrace realistic optimism, the freer you can feel.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://www.sciencedirect.com/
  3. https://psychcentral.com/
 

About the Author: Jamie Logie, B.Sc.

Jamie Logie is a certified personal trainer, nutritionist, and health & wellness specialist. He holds a bachelor of science (B.Sc.) degree in Kinesiology from the University of Western Ontario, studied sociology and psychology at Western University and has a counseling diploma from Heritage Baptist College. He has run a blog and top-rated podcast on iTunes called "Regained Wellness". Jamie is also a contributing writer for places like the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, LifeHack and has an Amazon #1 book called "Taking Back Your Health".

COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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publicado por achama às 04:25
Sábado, 18 / 04 / 20

When Everything Is Falling Apart, Remember 6 Sobering Truths

When Everything Is Falling Apart, Remember 6 Sobering Truths.

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

April 18th, 2020

 

Never have our lives been so unusual. We are truly living in unprecedented times and honestly, it feels a little like everything is falling apart. We’ve lost our jobs, our incomes, and our security. Our friends and family are being forced to stay away. Nothing feels all that great right now.
Still, inside the darkness, there is light. When everything is falling apart, there are still things that should bring you back to reality. It’s not misguided positivity, it’s sobering truths that we should hold close when our hardship starts to feel like too much to handle.

6 Things to Remember When Everything Is Falling Apart

1. Pain Is Temporary

I think it’s fair to say that we’ve all been through something difficult in our lives. I doubt there are many among us who have lived perfect, easy lives. We’ve all faced hardship before, and we all know that pain is temporary.
When everything is falling apart, it can be easy to give up and assume things will be this way forever. In these surreal times of a global pandemic, it seems like we’ve got no evidence to fall back on, but we do. Every hard phase has come to an end eventually.
Every time you thought life would never get better, it did. When you find yourself spiraling, as we all do at times, bring yourself back with this one sobering truth – pain doesn’t last forever.

2. Worrying Doesn’t Solve Anything

Worrying has been proven time and time again to be terrible for your health. It increases your risk of countless illnesses, including heart conditions, cancer, and stroke. It’s also bad for your immune system, and in times like these when we’re all trying to be as healthy as possible, worrying will never help.
Letting your mind run free with fear won’t fix the current crisis or any others. You can’t worry the world better. No amount of “planning” or “understanding”, as we anxious folk convince ourselves we’re doing, will make a dangerous virus go away any sooner or be any less deadly.
Instead of dwelling on the idea that everything is falling apart, focus on what you can do to keep it together. You could consider donating to charities, or volunteering. Remember that by staying home, you are helping. You don’t need to worry if you’re already you’re doing exactly what needs to be done to fix the world.

3. Without Hard Times, We Don’t Appreciate the Good Times

We might be experiencing an extreme example right now, but it’s working. Never have I been more grateful for the people I love, and the little moments of joy we get each day. I also know I’ll be more appreciative of the freedom and moments of social non-distancing we get when all of this is over.
If you live a totally undisturbed life, you might not feel much appreciation for the best times, because they aren’t much different from the worst. Now, when it seems that everything is falling apart, we’re truly grateful for what we still have, and what we can’t wait to get back.
As the saying goes, you only know what you’ve got when it’s gone.

4. Slow and Steady Wins the Race

No matter how much we wish it, we can’t speed this one along. At times, this process feels incredibly slow. We don’t have an end date in sight, and we all know how slowly time passes when we’re stuck at home.
If you feel that everything is falling apart, your first instinct is to fix it as soon as possible. We want the problem solved and we don’t care how we get there. But we don’t get that choice right now. This isn’t something we can rush through. In fact, the more we try to rush this by forcing normality before it’s time, the longer we’ll have to wait.
If we have no choice but to wait it out, then there’s no better time to practice patience. We get wrapped up in modern life so often that we rarely have to wait for anything. Take this opportunity to learn a skill most of us, myself included, don’t have. The world might be a little nicer if we all emerge from this with more patience.

5. Kindness Doesn’t Cost A Thing

In this time of darkness, when it seems that everything is falling apart, there is one thing always left – kindness. We are suffering now, globally. There’s no skirting around it, global pandemics really suck. We feel as though we’ve lost everything, but we haven’t. We haven’t lost each other.
Kindness keeps us moving, gives us strength and brings us closer. Being nice to others in this difficult time makes a huge difference. During your moments outside, exchange a smile with a fellow exerciser. Greet neighbors when you pass them (at a distance). You’d be surprised how much these minor interactions could change someone’s day. Be gentle and respectful of others, especially those who are still having to work.
The kinder you are on the outside, the kinder you’ll be to yourself too. Nothing is better for your self-esteem than making others happy.

6. Challenges Help Us Grow

Unprecedented times teach us things we would never have had the opportunity to learn before. We may have gone our whole lives never learning how to entertain ourselves. We could never have had this time to learn new hobbies, or really get to know ourselves.
They say you grow through what you go through, and that couldn’t be truer now. I like to think that when this whole thing is over, we’ll all emerge like butterflies. Harrier, less manicured butterflies, but butterflies nonetheless.
Right now, by doing absolutely nothing, you’re developing skills you could have lived your entire life without. Of course, we’re growing patience, and we’re also growing resilience. In the future, when life inevitably gets chaotic again (though hopefully not in the same way) you’ll be ready to face it head-on, knowing you’ve faced serious hardship already. The minor troubles that might have set off a spiral before won’t phase us anymore.
We’ve been learning to be gentle with ourselves and others. We’ve learned to be happy with the little victories and accepting of the losses. Awful things are happening all over the world, and as everything feels like it’s falling apart, we’re developing strength like never before.

After All, Everything Isn’t Falling Apart

Before you let your thoughts of hopelessness drag you down, remember that some important facts of life, the sobering truths, will never change. Everything isn’t falling apart, no matter how close it might feel. Gratitude is what will hold us together.
I know it sounds mad, but enjoy this time. Embrace the people around you, whether it’s family or friends at home, or neighbors you pass on a daily walk. Embrace the time for yourself, to get to know you. This will end and we will get back to normal, and maybe we’ll all be better people when we do, but until then remember things aren’t always as broken as they seem.
 
 
 
 

 

Becky Storey
 

 




 

About the Author: Becky Storey


 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 22:47
Sábado, 18 / 04 / 20

Elderly Loneliness and Its 4 Causes and Effects

Elderly Loneliness and Its 4 Causes and Effects

Lottie Miles, M.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted April 17th, 2020.

 
.elderly loneliness causes effects

 


Loneliness can affect people at any stage of their lives. However, as we get older, the fundamentals of life and death mean we become more vulnerable to loneliness. From retirement to bereavement, ill health, and physical distance from loved ones, common causes of loneliness can mount up as we age.
But what do we mean when we talk about loneliness and social isolation? How bad is loneliness for your health? And what can we do to combat loneliness as we get older? In this post, we will explore the answers to these questions by looking at 4 causes and effects of elderly loneliness.

What do we mean by social isolation and loneliness?

By 75 and above, over 50% of people live alone. Some people may live alone far from their family and friends making it harder to have regular contact with them. Indeed, millions of older people living alone can go 5 or 6 days every week without seeing anyone.
The combination of these factors can usefully describe someone being isolated. However, being alone or isolated doesn’t necessarily mean we feel lonely. So what do we mean when we talk about loneliness?
Whilst being alone can certainly contribute to loneliness, it is still possible to feel lonely when engaged with others. As such, loneliness relates specifically to an emotional response we feel when our need for positive social contact isn’t met. We may also feel lonely if the people around us don’t understand us.
Loneliness is a universal feeling everyone has likely experienced at some time. When it comes to fighting loneliness, the important thing is having quality social contact with people.

4 Causes and Effects of Elderly Loneliness

Numerous studies have shown how social isolation and loneliness can be damaging to your health. For example, Holt-Lundstad’s 2010 study found that the combination of living alone, loneliness, and poor quality social connections is as bad for an individual’s health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
In a later study, they found loneliness increased the risk of death by 29%. Vlatorta, et. al’s 2016 paper found loneliness heightened the risk of dementia, depression, and heart disease.
Here, we outline 4 common causes of loneliness for elderly people. We also consider the effects of each of these causes and some strategies to overcome them.

1. Adjusting to retirement

Whilst retirement should be something we look forward to, many people find adjusting to it hard. From the routine provided by work, daily contact with different people, and a clear sense of direction. Work provides a structure for so much of our lives. When we give this up, we can feel lost, experience a loss of identity, and often have to learn how to combine more time with less money.
The effect of these challenges can lead people to feel lonely. However, new structures and routines can be built into retired life. Extra time, can also offer you the freedom to learn something new.
Learning new things or taking up an exercise class is known to be beneficial for a healthy mind. Finding new ways to engage with others in a meaningful way makes it easier to build quality social contact into your life.

2. Bereavement and loss of companionship

As we get older, more of the people we know and love die. The loss of a partner can cause chronic loneliness. People may also experience this if their partner’s health deteriorates and they have to be moved into a care home.
As we get older, we may also find ourselves living further away from our friends and less able to visit. Lifetime friends may have passed away, adding to a sense of loneliness. Nevertheless, there is value in nostalgia and a longing for the past, it is important and can be beneficial and even overcome loneliness.
Making new connections is a great way to overcome this cause of loneliness. Indeed, finding new passions, or re-igniting old ones, can help combat this cause of loneliness likely to affect us all at some point in our lives. From volunteering to dance, art, or anything else that interests you, by engaging with new people in different ways, we can find ways to cope with elderly loneliness caused by loss.

3. Issues with health

As we get older, we are more likely to experience ill health and mobility decline. Ill health and loss of mobility can make it physically difficult to socialize with others in ways we used to. As such, ill-health can itself be both a cause and effect of loneliness.
This can make it a challenge to distinguish the effects of ill health and mobility issues on social isolation and vice versa. Befriending schemes and intergenerational projects are a great way to help overcome this cause of elderly loneliness and social isolation.

4. Lack of transport

As well as often becoming less physically mobile as age, our ability to drive our own car can sadly be another cause of loneliness. For those living in rural areas, this is particularly challenging as they may not live anywhere near a bus route either. Often, one of our main modes of social contact is through leaving the home.
Therefore, losing the ability to head out can reduce social contact for people and cause them to feel lonely and isolated. Joining an online community can be helpful. It can allow you to discuss issues with your peers. You may also find you feel more connected without having to leave the home.
Loneliness does not discriminate. However, as we get older, we face many more challenges that increase the risk of us feeling lonely. Finding new ways to meaningfully connect with others is the best way to help us defend against the causes and effects of elderly loneliness.


 

 

Lottie Miles

 




 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 20:02
Segunda-feira, 06 / 04 / 20

Study: Why Saying ‘Thank You’ Is Better Than Saying ‘I’m Sorry’.

Study: 

Why Saying ‘Thank You’ Is Better Than Saying ‘I’m Sorry’.

Jamie Logie, B. Sc.

learning-mind.com

April 5, 2020 .

 
saying thank you instead of im sorry.

 

 

Could the simple approach of altering an apology and saying thank you be a much better form of communication?
Expressing gratitude is something they teach us from a young age. It shows appreciation, kindness, and respect. You probably never think of saying thank you when it comes to apologizing – but it may be a more effective approach.
If you work and deal with the public, this can be a much more effective strategy than constantly apologizing. This isn’t just for someone who works in retail, but switching from saying ‘I’m sorry’ to ‘Thank you‘ may help in your daily relationships.
This article looks at a recent study that took a deeper look into this approach.

The Science Behind Why Saying ‘Thank You’ Is Better

This study was a multi-university approach and dealt with the issue of customer service satisfaction. The University of South Carolina, New Mexico State University, Zhejiang University in China, and The Ohio State University worked together to investigate this.
They looked at the issue of consumers’ expectations of quality service being higher than ever. Business leaders around the world have recognized this increase in service quality demand. At the same time, it’s clear that there are many issues surrounding customer interactions with service providers.
The attempt of this study was to find the best way to restore customer satisfaction as it’s needed in retail and business. The whole issues go far beyond a consumer feeling disregarded as poor customer service is costing companies billions of dollars. In 2016, the U.S. lost a staggering $1.6 trillion dollars because of customers switching to competing companies. This was all because of poor service. This has a spillover effect because of word-of-mouth and the damage that comes from this.
These days, word-of-mouth happens online – and it happens fast. Poor service has led to 44% of unsatisfied customers venting about it on social media. A bad review or report that goes viral can sink a company. This is nowhere more clear than in the hospitality industry, with a large proportion of consumers unsatisfied with how things go when dining out.
So what we have we seen to remedy this situation, and how can you apply it to your own life?

Why You Need to Stop Apologizing

The study looked at how service providers could restore customer satisfaction after a service failure. They focused on two different forms of recovery communicationsaying ‘thank you’ (showing appreciation) and saying ‘sorry’ (the apology). The example the study gives has to do with a plumber who was late for an appointment: the plumber could either say “I am sorry you had to wait,” or “Thank you for your patience.”
The study found that showing appreciation to the consumer was a more effective approach. Saying ‘thank you’ was better at restoring consumer satisfaction than saying “I’m sorry.”
This has practical effects in real-world situations. When service providers show appreciation, the consumer becomes satisfied that the situation has been recovered in the best way possible. This leads the customer to stick with that business, recommend it to others, and less likely to complain in the future.
When you constantly say you’re sorry to someone, they get the sense that you aren’t doing everything in your power to improve the situation. Only saying sorry to a person (whether it’s a customer, friend, associate, etc) gives them the impression that you’ve washed your hands of things and what’s done is done.
According to the study, saying ‘I’m sorry’ emphasizes the service provider’s fault, while saying ‘thank you’ makes the customer feel more important.

Why Is Saying Thank You So Much More Powerful?

The sense of importance a customer feels is because saying thank you highlights their merits and contributions. When you say ‘thank you for your patience’ you are showing the positive contribution they have made. This may seem small, but it’s a way to improve a person’s self-esteem. With business, it enhances post-recovery satisfaction. With a friend or family member, it enhances the bond between the two of you.
When you say ‘Thank you’ instead of ‘I’m sorry’ – in any aspect of your life – it helps you deal with even the most difficult people. A narcissistic person only thinks of themselves, and if you can highlight their contribution and merits, they embrace this and can adapt quicker. Saying ‘I’m sorry’ takes the emphasis away from them and puts it on you.
Sometimes an apology is needed, but you just need to read the situation and see what it calls for. In the service industry example; saying ‘thank you’ (the appreciative approach) will be the best approach for those highly narcissistic people. The appreciation approach might not work as well for customers and people who are quiet, shy and show low narcissism.

What to Take Away from This Study

The key takeaway is that saying ‘thank you’ isn’t a way to get out of apologizing, but has some real resolution power to it. If you work in a retail setting, this can be a great time to use this method with the rise of angry and unreasonable customers. Besides saying ‘thank you for your patience,’ you can also use variations of:
  • Thank you for your understanding
  • Thank you for coming to me with this
  • I appreciate you bringing this to my attention, thank you
On a personal level, saying ‘thank you’ does a better job of resolving a conflict with another person. The appreciation approach gets you onto their level and they feel valued. It’s all about shifting the focus from things being your fault and spotlight the merit in others.
People rarely feel appreciated, and if you can do this in a negative situation, you create a better bond, connection, and resolution with that person. Ultimately, they go away feeling better about themselves.
Saying ‘thank you’ isn’t a cop-out, it’s a simple way to improve the lives of those around you.
References:
  1. https://journals.sagepub.com
  2. https://psychcentral.com
.
 

About the Author: Jamie Logie, B.Sc.

Jamie Logie is a certified personal trainer, nutritionist, and health & wellness specialist. He holds a bachelor of science (B.Sc.) degree in Kinesiology from the University of Western Ontario, studied sociology and psychology at Western University and has a counseling diploma from Heritage Baptist College. He has run a blog and top-rated podcast on iTunes called "Regained Wellness". Jamie is also a contributing writer for places like the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, LifeHack and has an Amazon #1 book called "Taking Back Your Health".

 
Patrick Montgomery:
I believe it’s appropriate to say both “I’m sorry” and “Thank you” in the same situation, if applicable. For example, if you’re late to a meeting with me, you’ve just wasted some of my time and my time, as with everyone’s, is valuable and finite. I need to know you understand and appreciate this concept. Even if being late was beyond your control. Apologize. And then say “thank you for your patience and understanding” which will assuage my annoyance letting me know you appreciate my situation making it possible for a productive meeting without any attitudes or misunderstandings. Neither “thank you” or “I’m sorry” should be over used as a go to response unnecessarily. I understand this study is primarily geared to customer service, however, it appears your suggesting to use this “thank you” approach in social or other professional situations. Don’t. Regardless of what the study says, if somebody screws up my order and says the words “thank you” in their first response sentence to me instead of apologizing, I’m thinking they’re clueless and WTF?! What I won’t be thinking is; “Gee, that was refreshing and nice. This company gets it. I’m gonna tell everybody about this positive experience”.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 17:35
Sábado, 04 / 04 / 20

What Is Downshifting and Why More and More People Chose It

What Is Downshifting and Why More and More People Chose It.

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

April 4th, 2020

 



Modern life is getting busier and louder by the day. Pressure mounts and stress becomes the norm, and we just accept it. Some refuse to embrace the chaotic nature, though. Downshifters, those who practice downshifting, are saying no to the typical overwhelming nature of our day to day lives.
Downshifting is a method by which people achieve a simple, often stress-free lifestyle. It prioritizes quality of life over quantity. As life gets more and more full-on, more people than ever are taking on this less than a typical lifestyle.
Most careers are demanding on our time. We wait all year for our scheduled holidays just to waste our time unraveling our stress, instead of spending it with the people we love, doing what we love.
If this isn’t the kind of life you want to lead, and would rather take a lower salary than waste any more time, there is an option – Downshifting.

What Is Downshifting?

Downshifting is a way of life. It is, ultimately, the process of downgrading your life in order to improve its quality. It is mostly related to career; leaving a financially beneficial job for a lower-paid and less stressful one in order to have a more fulfilling life. Downshifting is not limited to just career changes though. It can be applied to any kind of return to the simplistic living.
Downshifting aims to improve your mental wellbeing by rejecting the idea that stress is just a part of life. It is more interested in happiness than success.
There are a few different versions of downshifting, and a single person could take on all of them, or just one. Whatever helps them reach a higher quality of life.
You could achieve simplicity by reducing your consumption. Spend less money on unnecessary things and escape from materialism. Downshifting could be based around slowing down your days. Taking on fewer work hours and spending more of your time with family and friends. It’s all about enjoying life and taking in the moments.
When you decide to downshift, you might move outside of societal norms. It’s expected that an adult takes on a stable, full-time job. It doesn’t matter that you’re miserable, it’s just what we have to do. Downshifting goes against this indoctrinated message.
Downshifters often choose the kind of jobs you expect students to have because these give them more time to enjoy life. Just enough money to survive, and plenty of time to nurture their souls.
Downshifting and going “green” go hand in hand. Downshifting aims to reduce the world’s impact on you, while the eco-friendly lifestyle aims to reduce your impact on the world. Downshifters buy less and waste less.

Why Is Downshifting Lifestyle Becoming More and More Popular?

At its core, downshifting encourages us to do things for ourselves, not for society. It’s much healthier to exist in a way that suits us, not what society wants from us. As modern life becomes more intense, more of us are seeking ways to step away.
The rat race is stressful and unhealthy. Cities are toxic environments for our health, and stress is just as harmful. As a society, we’re becoming more aware of the downfalls of a luxurious lifestyle and we aren’t standing for it anymore. People are turning to downshifting to help them to escape.
Downshifting is an escape from the constant competition of normal modern life. We are constantly wanting to be the best of the bunch, and social media only intensifies it.
We have to show off our holidays, our parties and even our day to day lives in the hopes of being impressive. Some people are starting to see that competing is truly dangerous for our mental health and are using downshifting as a way to leave it behind for good.
Being constantly stimulated is damaging too. A whole generation of us have forgotten how to be at peace, without distractions, especially technology. A big part of downshifting is stepping away from distractions and stimuli and enjoying yourself naturally. When you’re away from the mundane routine of checking your social media sites, you’ll realize how much more time you have to improve the quality of your life.
People with a deep concern for the environment take on the downshifting lifestyle. It offers an escape from eco-damaging activities such as flying, long car journeys, and needless shopping. Reducing your impact on the Earth is a strong draw for some to the non-traditional downshifting lifestyle.

How to Start Downshifting?

The downshifting lifestyle can be quite a change for some. To go from your typical day-to-day life to a downshifted one can be a big transition.

Start with what truly matters for you

Experts recommend that you start by thinking about what you value most and what makes your soul happiest. These are the things you want to make more time for, and what you aren’t willing to get rid of. If you’re lucky, one of these things might make for a great new career.

Assess your debt with honesty

It would be a terrible idea to jump ship on your full-time job if it’s only going to leave you with incredible debts. Start by reducing as many regular payments you don’t need and put that extra money towards paying off your debts. The ultimate downshifting goal is to live totally debt free and always within your means.

Start small

Start with small changes such as spending less money and shopping less. You could also work on doing things yourself at home, such as doing DIY instead of buying new items and learning to cook your favorite meals yourself. Weigh up what in your life is a want and what is a need.

De-clutter

An easy way to dip your toes into the world of downshifting is to de-clutter. You deep clean your home or sort your “stuff” and donate your unnecessary items to charities. You can also de-clutter your phone and tech. Get rid of apps you don’t use or use too much and are unhealthy.

Reduce your reliance on technology

You could print photos and keep them safe in an album rather than relying on your technology for memories. This will reduce your attraction to competition through social media.
There’s no need to go without tech completely, downshifting doesn’t require you to go off-grid. It’s all about reducing your attachment to “stuff” and money, in exchange for more time to enjoy yourself.

Final Words

In a world as full-on as ours is these days, downshifting is becoming more popular. High-powered businesspeople are giving up their well-paid jobs for roles as baristas, or farmers, or starting their own passion project businesses. Police officers are choosing to be librarians. Lawyers are becoming gardeners.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed with your cluttered and stressful life, perhaps downshifting is the escape you’re looking for.
References:

  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://en.wikipedia.org
 
 
 

 

Becky Storey
 

 




 

About the Author: Becky Storey


 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
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publicado por achama às 21:14
Domingo, 15 / 03 / 20

What Is Status Quo Bias and How It Leads You to a Mediocre Life

What Is Status Quo Bias and How It Leads You to a Mediocre Life

Francesca Forsythe.

https://www.learning-mind.com

March 9th, 2020.

 

 
 
Status quo bias is a powerful cognitive bias that can affect you so severely that it leads you to live a mediocre life.
There are many different cognitive biases which can have a powerful impact on our psyches and our lives. One of the most common ones is status quo bias. It stops people from doing new things and can lead them to live very boring lives.
 
Luckily, as with all cognitive biases, there are ways of beating it so that you can make your life more exciting and much more fun.
 
What is status quo bias?
 
It is one of the many kinds of cognitive biases that affect our daily lives, thinking and decision making. This bias causes individuals to prefer things to remain the way they are or to maintain the current state of affairs. This can be in your everyday life, but it can even go as far as political decisions and huge life choices.
 
Status quo bias can result in people remaining in jobs or relationships that make them unhappy simply because they are too scared to make a change. It seems safer to maintain current situations that are known to use than facing the unknown of making a change.
 
How can status quo bias lead you to live a mediocre life?
 
You put your life on hold and miss opportunities
 
When you are suffering from status quo bias, you may feel scared of change or making big decisions. You feel comfortable in the here and now and would like things to remain that way.
 
As a result, you may not go for a promotion or pursue a new relationship because you don’t want things to change. By doing so, you leave yourself in a state of pause and life begins to become repetitive.
 
You don’t evolve
 
Status quo bias can also stop you from growing as a person. When you are afraid to try new things, you miss out on valuable experiences. Instead, those who suffer from status quo bias may simply choose to do nothing. They may not try a different meal or travel to different places and this means you will miss out.
 
Your life gets boring and predictable
 
By only experiencing the same things over and over, you will begin to get bored. By allowing status quo bias to control your life in this way, you may find that your life begins to turn stale.
 
Not only will you get bored, but you may get frustrated by the constant predictability. You may find that time moves faster than you would like it to and you aren’t really living.
How to beat status quo bias?
 
If you feel like you are suffering from status quo bias and want to learn how to beat it, don’t worry. It is entirely possible to beat the bias and really start living.
 
Be aware
 
Like all cognitive biases, being aware of it can change how you address different situations. If you understand that you may be afraid of making changes or approaching new challenges, then you have already made the first step. By recognizing what scares you, you can try to challenge yourself to make little changes.
 
Start small
 
Don’t feel like you have to throw a grenade into the middle of your job or relationship to shake things up. If you feel out of your comfort zone, that’s a good enough start. Try a new food or take a trip, just do something new and something that interests you.
 
If it’s something you never imagined yourself doing, even better. You could even try a different skill. Take up painting or try a sport. You may find that you have a secret talent you didn’t know you had.
 
What to do if you are bored at work
 
If you are bored at work, ask for more responsibility or consider looking for other employment opportunities. If you don’t enjoy your career, consider taking some night classes or going back to school to change your career path.
 
What to do if you are stuck in a relationship
 
If your relationship is growing a little stale, try to inject the spark back into it. Go on a date to somewhere new, go on holiday together or simply do something you haven’t done in a while. Relationships take work to maintain. Start trying to do things together and you’ll soon remember all of the reasons you fell in love.
 
Decide how you want your life to be
 
The best part about beating status quo bias is that it is completely up to you just how exciting you want to be. Making little changes is a great first step.
 
However, if you are truly unhappy in the mundane, then don’t be afraid to change things. It might be scary to step into the unknown, but it is always better than living a mundane life you are unhappy with.
 
Final thoughts
 
Status quo bias can keep us in a state of pause. We may not even notice that life is passing us by and we end up wasting a lot of time. If you really want to start living your life, start recognizing the problem and take steps to change it.
Your life is completely within your control, so don’t let cognitive biases stand in your way. Start making small changes and trying new things. You might just find that you really enjoy some of them!
 
 

References:
  1. https://sites.hks.harvard.edu
 

 
 

Francesca Forsythe





 

About the Author: Francesca Forsythe

Francesca is a freelance writer currently studying a degree in Law and Philosophy. She has written for several blogs in a range of subjects across Lifestyle, Relationships and Health and Fitness. Her main pursuits are learning new innovative ways of keeping fit and healthy, as well as broadening her knowledge in as many areas as possible in order to achieve success.
 
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 


All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 
 

 
 
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publicado por achama às 20:18
Sexta-feira, 13 / 03 / 20

‘I Hate People’: Why You Feel This Way and How to Cope.

 

‘I Hate People’: 

Why You Feel This Way and How to Cope.

Sherrie Hurd

learning-mind.com

Posted March 13th, 2020.

 
 

 
 
I have been guilty of saying “I hate people”, but I really don’t. There’s much more to my emotions, and I wish to think positively.
 
Even the most friendly and extroverted person may say they hate people, but they don’t really mean it because, after all, they usually like people more than some of the rest of us. To be honest, I think we’ve all let this slip out a time or two.
 
People stuck on the negativity
 
Then there are others who proclaim their hate more often too, and there are a few reasons they do this. Sometimes hate springs from frustration, fear, and even when you see someone who thinks or looks different from you.
 
This sort of hate can get stuck inside and change you. There’s another important factor as well. If you start off hating someone, the more negative things you do, the more you will hate them. So how can we cope with these intense feelings?
Coping with the “I hate people” mindset
 
1. Recognize your true feelings
 
You may not think you’re guilty of hating people just because you mouth it a couple of times, but you really do carry a bit of strong distaste. Words have more power than you think. In order to cope with hatred toward others, you must first acknowledge that you say these things and sometimes even genuinely feel this way.
 
It was hard for me to realize what I was saying and feeling, and I always used the excuse, saying, “I just don’t like them, and it’s not the same as hate”, but I came to realize that I did have hatred in my heart. And so, I had to accept it before I could successfully cope with it.
 
2. Mindfulness exercises
 
Another way of coping with hatred toward others is by practicing mindfulness. Similar to meditation, mindfulness places you in the present time and coaxes you to think about what’s going on now.
 
The first thing you will want to do is wish good thoughts on yourself. Then wish kindness and happiness to friends and family, which is pretty easy to do. After that, wish good things for neutral people, those who really have little impact on your life in general.
 
Then, in a harder act of concentration, wish the same happiness on those who you do not like. When you practice this last one, you may feel the tension in your body. This is when you take deep breaths and try to relax. Then, wish happiness on everyone else in existence. Practice this often to help soften your hatred.
 
3. Let it go, let it go
 
No, I’m not about to sing that Disney song, but you do need to use a certain pattern to let hateful feelings go, like… letting it go. So, try this way of coping:
 
When you see someone you really don’t like, or even that someone you secretly hate, go ahead, for just one moment and let yourself feel it. Then imagine that dark feeling passing from your mind, down your neck, through your body and down to your feet. Imagine it soaking into the ground beneath you. Then calmly move from the place you were standing.
 
As you do this, it will distract you from the hatred you’re feeling and calm you enough to deal with them.
 
4. Grow up
 
Sometimes you hate people because they have different opinions than you, and that’s it! That is literally the only reason you hate them. I know it may seem petty, and truthfully, it is. Different folks have different standards and they despise each other in many cases.
 
One way to stop hating people is by accepting that they have an opinion of their own, an opinion that is their right, and your opinion could see just as silly or infuriating to them. So being mature enough to accept differences and move on is one good way to stop hating people.
 
5. Go ahead now, get to that root
 
If you’re actually hating on a number of people, group of people, or just everyone, that’s not natural. You weren’t born hating everyone. There is a root to that hatred.
 
In fact, you could have started hating one particular person, and the feelings spread due to the hurt they caused. Then it spread further until there really wasn’t anyone you did like. The good news is, you can reverse this hatred by tracing it back to its origin. Then start working on healing from there.
 
6. Recognize why hate is wrong
 
There are more reasons why hate is wrong than right. For one, hate is never included in anything if you are spiritual because you cannot hate your spiritual brother or sister or you hate yourself.
 
You see, some believe we are all one, and in ways, we are. It’s also just not fair to hate someone. We all have problems and show really unattractive sides to our personalities sometimes. We want to be forgiven, and we want a second chance to be liked, and so would you. There is never a good reason to hate, but there is always a good reason to love. Recognize this and work on it a bit at a time.
 
Never say “I hate people” again
 
Yes, I mean it. Never say those toxic words again. They can do no good and really make you feel bad about yourself later on. Those words have the power to make you feel sick both physically and mentally. So, try, really hard, to practice love instead of hate. I promise it brings a much better reward.
 
So, do you really hate people? I don’t think so.
 
 
References:

  1. https://www.forbes.com
  2. https://www.cnbc.com

 

Sherrie Hurd


 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 21:15
Quarta-feira, 11 / 03 / 20

What Is Etheric Body and How to Clear and Strengthen It.

What Is Etheric Body and How to Clear and Strengthen It.

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

March 10th, 2020

 

 
 
Being an introvert is never easy. It’s exhausting to go about your day sometimes. Communication problems plague every conversation. Every interaction brings up thoughts of self-doubt, self-consciousness and more often than not, fear of embarrassment.
 
Of course, not every introvert has social anxiety. However, even the most socially confident introverts find too much interaction to be a struggle. When you’re the type to thrive alone, conversational problems are common just for lack of practice or natural communication ability.
 
Communication Problems Introverts Have
 
Being Honest About Your Feelings
 
Most introverts also happen to be people pleasers. This means you never want to upset anyone, say “no” or let others down. This communication problem tends to be caused by a fear of rejection or the wrath of others.
 
Have you ever been to a restaurant and had the wrong meal delivered? How about booking a seat at the movies, only to find someone else sitting in it? If you’re lucky, you have a more confident friend who sorts these issues for you, so you don’t have to.
 
These are the kind of interactions introverts shy away from, for a number of reasons. Introverts don’t want to embarrass or hurt others. Introverts are very empathic, so we understand that, usually, someone has just made a mistake and we don’t want to cause them any upset. Finally, we tend to avoid conflict situations.
 
You might also suffer from an inferiority complex, leading you to feel like your place in the world isn’t as important as others. This means we avoid being honest because we don’t think we matter. There is also the deep fear that they’ll argue back, and that’s the last thing an introvert needs. Intense interactions are incredibly draining on the energy and require a lot of self-confidence that some introverts don’t have.
 
How to overcome it:
 
The best way to overcome this communication obstacle is to work on your own self-confidence and self-worth. As you learn and begin to believe that you’re worthy of having your needs met, you’ll be more willing to stand up for yourself. You’ll never let others push in line ahead of you again, once you see that you deserve to be respected and listened to.
 
Accepting Praise and Compliments
 
Introverts struggle to take compliments and enjoy praise when it’s being given out. There could be several causes behind this communication problem. At times, it can seem like you’re just being humble, but it’s a chronic issue.
 
One of the hardest things for an introvert to do is be the center of attention. All eyes on us feels terrifying. We’d rather fly under the radar, but compliments and praise bring all the attention on us alone. Then our own self-doubt creeps in and we start to wonder if they’re exaggerating, or even playing a cruel joke. The chances of them being genuine and us actually having done something well seem so low.
 
We also worry that we have to say something heartfelt in return, and not mess it up. Digging deep is hard to do on the spot, but we feel under pressure to give them something good in return.
 
How to overcome it:
 
To overcome the fear of compliments and praise and get over this communication problem for good is again to believe in yourself. People don’t give compliments as cruel jokes, that kind of awful behavior only happens in movies.
 
It’s okay to want to humble when accepting praise, but a gentle “thank you” will go a long way. Instead of deflecting to the age-old “oh, it was nothing”, try to enjoy the idea that someone noticed and appreciated something you did.
 
Being Heard in Large Groups
 
More often than not, an introvert doesn’t want to be heard in groups. We’re happy to sit back and watch others chat away without really being noticed. This becomes a problem when you do have something to say, but you aren’t the type to demand attention from the crowd. Speaking up in a loud, confident voice isn’t a skill most introverts have.
 
In situations like a meeting at work, or a group talking about something you really care about, being quiet doesn’t pay off. You want your views to be heard, either because it’s important or because you just want to join in.
 
How to overcome it:
 
Overcome this communication problem by standing your ground. Your voice is important and, believe it or not, others will want to listen. Just as you’re happy to listen to what your friends or co-workers have to say, they’ll do the same for you. Trust me.
 
You could try having a sort of confidant, who will open up a space for you in the conversation if you aren’t confident (our loud) enough to jump in yourself. Never give up trying to be heard, even if you have to restart a few times.
 
Handling Invasive Conversations
 
Sometimes, people who aren’t super close to us try to get too deep too soon. There’s nothing an introvert loves more than a deep, hearty conversation, but only with someone they’re very close to.
 
When unfamiliar people push those boundaries, we tend to clam up. We don’t know what to say so often we just mumble our way through and escape as fast as we can. We don’t want to seem rude or make a fuss over a subject that is sensitive to us but may seem small to others.
 
There is hope though, this communication problem is fixable. Standing up for yourself is hard as an introvert, but you deserve to feel comfortable. As long as you understand that, you’ll never have to feel uncomfortable again.
 
How to overcome it:
 
We can be a little too invasive at times, that’s who we are as nosey humans. Some people simply don’t understand what is and is not appropriate, though. Fortunately, you have every right to tell them to back off and any decent human would respect that.
 
If someone has overstepped, it is well within your rights to say that you aren’t comfortable talking about that subject. Any person who forces you to cross those boundaries isn’t worth your time. Offer an alternative and move on or find a distraction. There is no need to sacrifice your own mental state or comfort just to avoid feeling like the bad guy.
 
Being an introvert brings up so many communication problems.
 
It’s hard to navigate the world when you don’t really want to chat, and you’re not really sure how to. Each problem can be overcome though, and you aren’t alone. Build your self-confidence and believe that you deserve to be respected, listened to and given plenty of opportunities to voice your own opinions. There is nothing rude, or wrong, about speaking up for yourself.

 
References:
  1. https://www.forbes.com
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com
 
 

 

Becky Storey
 

 




 

About the Author: Becky Storey


 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
bitchute.com
brighteon.com

 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
Free counters!

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publicado por achama às 09:05
Sábado, 07 / 03 / 20

5 Signs Toxic Shame Is Taking Over Your Life & How to Stop It

 

5 Signs Toxic Shame Is Taking Over Your Life & How to Stop It

Sherrie Hurd

learning-mind.com

Posted March 6th, 2020.

 
 

 
It’s not wrong to feel ashamed about something, but it is wrong to harbor toxic shame. How can we stop doing this?
 
If you do something wrong, it’s perfectly normal to feel a little shame. But some of us struggle with the trap of unhealthy shame that always keeps us repeating past mistakes in our heads. Then this process causes damage to our self-esteem. One thing leads to another and then toxic shame takes over your entire life. This should never happen.
 
What is toxic shame?
 
Toxic feelings of shame come from an irrational place, producing feelings of worthlessness. This feeling can come from our mistakes, trauma that may not even be our fault at all, or even from events that span all the way back to our childhood. How do we know if we have shame and toxic habits? There are a few indicators that stick out like a sore thumb.
 
Signs of unhealthy shame
 
1. You wear masks
 
If you suffer from toxic shame, one of the most common things you will do is wear a mask to cover your true identity. It’s not a mask to cover your physical identity but a mask to cover who you are inside. The shame of this nature makes you feel like who you really are isn’t presentable for the public. So, you create a version of yourself that you think would look better to others.
 
2. You isolate yourself
 
Even ordinary shame will make you isolate yourself for a little while, but usually not for long. Most of the time regular shame fades a bit as friends and family support you while you forgive yourself.
 
With unhealthy shame, however, isolation can carry on for a long time, even after friends and family have tried to coax you out of your shell. If you’re isolating yourself from everyone and everything, you could be dealing with toxic shame from some source.
 
3. You won’t express yourself
 
Whatever happened to cause your shame, you refuse to speak about the situation. Usually, there is so much more than a linear story and much more than a concrete right and wrong. It’s important to express yourself when you’ve made mistakes or lived through traumatic events. It’s even more important to express yourself about childhood issues that have caused shame in adulthood.
 
4. You lie about many things
 
Toxic feelings of shame will make you lie because the truth is harder to accept. If you’re asked about various personal things, you will lie, not just by using denial, but also by fabricating the truth. By utilizing this behavior, you temporarily place a balm on your shame, which never lasts. If the shame is bad enough, you will continue to do this until you accept the truth for yourself.
 
5. Low self-esteem
 
It’s impossible to have positive self-esteem or good self-worth and toxic shame at the same time. Your negative feelings about yourself which have grown into an unrelenting shame will cause extremely low-self-esteem. If you have unhealthy shame, you will always put yourself down in front of others.
 
How can we get over feeling like this?
 
If you’ve already fallen victim to toxic shame, it’s not hopeless. Even if it originated from childhood trauma, you can still learn to defeat this self-defeating behavior. Because that’s exactly what it is. This behavior will eventually erode your entire view of yourself.
 
Being compassionate with yourself is one of the most important things to do in order to let go of unhealthy feelings. Keep in mind, that whatever happened, we are all human and imperfect, many of us are healing from something that victimized us or something we’ve done.
 
So cut yourself a little slack. The active way to start doing this is by using positive mantras about yourself. Every day say things like, “I am worthy”, “I am loved”, and “Someone needs me.”
 
Mindfulness, through things like meditation, reminds us about the truth. Toxic shame is actually the inability to take healthy responsibility for what happened if any responsibility even belongs to you. If not, then mindfulness can also help you realize how strong you are and how you can get through anything, even your past trauma. No matter how hard it is to understand, we are more resilient than we know.
 
Also, you can learn to turn that inner voice of shame into an expression of anger. No, it’s not healthy to express anger with violence, but it is healthy to understand that shame is an expression of being angry about your present feelings and your situation.
 
Toxic shame has got to go
 
The point here is, no matter what it takes, you have to learn how to put away those feelings of unwarranted shame. Whether it comes from childhood trauma, some mistakes you’ve made or more recent experience, adopting shame of a toxic nature will only make things worse, for you and for those you love and care about.
 
The best thing to do is to take responsibility for your actions and learn how to move on. That means creating a positive life for yourself, paired with a positive self-image.

 

Sherrie Hurd


 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 13:03
Sexta-feira, 21 / 02 / 20

4 Psychological Skills Truly Smart People Have.

4 Psychological Skills Truly Smart People Have.

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

February 19th, 2020.

 
psychological skills smart people.
 
 
 
Some people just seem to sail through life, don’t they? They face problems with determination, successes with humility, and are just all-around likeable, smart and decent folk. Perhaps they are using psychological skills that we don’t know about?
 
There are certainly lots of life hacks that people use in order to get ahead. For instance, studies show that if you want someone to do you a favour, do something nice for them a few days before. Humans have a need to balance the scales; they like to reciprocate, it’s a tit-for-tat kind of mentality.So are there any other psychological abilities and skills that truly smart people use? Here are four of them:
 
4 Psychological Skills Smart People Have (and You Can Master Them Too)
 
They control their own thoughts
 
‘Our life is what our thoughts make us.’ Marcus Aurelius
It’s very easy to get into the trap of thinking that our thoughts are just ideas and phrases that pop in and out of our heads, and not something we can control. I remember going to see Paul McKenna in London for a phobia workshop weekend. If you don’t know who he is, he is an expert in NLP, getting rid of phobias, hypnotism, that kind of thing.
 
Onstage he asked the audience to imagine a typical Monday morning, getting up for work, going through the motions. Then describe our feelings and our moods. The majority of us said things like ‘Monday blues’, depressed, tired, drained, heavy, lacklustre, no energy.
 
He then asked us to imagine that instead of going to work on a Monday, we were jetting off to a luxury holiday resort on an exclusive island with 5-star facilities. Now he asked how we felt. The audience responded with ‘excited, raring to go, relaxed, can’t wait, happy, positive, lifted.’
 
‘You see the power of the mind?’ he said. Neither of those things happened but just by changing your thoughts you also changed your mood.
 
Now, why is this important?
 
Of course, we can’t spend our lives on holiday. But we can take those feelings of excitement, happiness, relaxation, and positivity and use them on tough days like Monday mornings.
 
Why will it make a difference? Because positivity attracts positivity. But more importantly, negativity does the same. Sure, you’re not on holiday, but you are bringing those feelings and emotions of excitement and happiness to work. This has a knock-on effect on your day.
 
Yes, you’ve still got to go to work, but perhaps it will be more pleasant because of your attitude? Likewise, our whole life is made up of our thoughts. If we are grateful for what we have, we’ll live a contented life.You could call this particular way of thinking a ‘psychological skill’ that smart people use. I guess it’s a little like cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). A way of actively changing the way we think on purpose to improve our lives.
 
They are socially intelligent, which means they don’t always show their intelligence
 
The second of our psychological skills is all about intelligence, but it involves a certain kind of intellect.
 
Imagine you’ve just passed your degree and you’re excited and you’re telling friends. How would you feel if someone piped up: “Oh, I got an honour degree in that subject.” Really?
 
Or there’s always someone who knows more than you and doesn’t hesitate to tell you. We all want others to know how clever we are. But when it costs other people, or steals their thunder, or ruins their moment, it’s not clever. In fact, it’s downright stupid.
 
If you need to boost your own ego by climbing over or trashing other people’s achievements, you are not socially intelligent.
 
Social intelligence is the understanding that we all need our moments as the centre of attention. We all deserve the spotlight on our achievements. Recognition for our knowledge, our smarts. But allowing others to revel in the limelight is a more intelligent way to show your intelligence. Why? Because people associate their feelings of importance and pride with you when you let them share their best moments.
 
In future, don’t be the know-all that everyone dreads being around.They know that most things will pass
 
There is an ability that truly smart people have which is the knowledge that most things will pass. I remember when my boyfriend died in 2013. At the time I thought I’d never get over the loss and pain. Now it’s 2020 and I can reflect on those tragic times and know that whatever dreadful thing happens in the future, it will pass. I will get through it.
 
Of course, at the time, if someone had tried to give me this advice on grief I would have probably lamped them. People who are going through horrific trauma and grief don’t need advice. They need support.
 
This knowledge comes from your own experience. All we have to do is simply exist. And that’s what I did, for a long time. I took minutes, then hours, then days at a time. Until one day I was coming out of a migraine and was lying on the bed when a cooling breeze flowed over my hot, throbbing head.
 
I remember thinking ‘This feels nice.’ Up until that point, nothing had felt nice since my boyfriend’s passing. But I knew that if something as simple as the wind could be pleasant, I would get through the pain of his death.
 
This is one of those psychological skills that comes with time and experience. Because you have to pass through trauma and come out the other side to know it.
 
Of course, these days staying in the present through mindfulness is considered to be extremely therapeutic. However, there’s nothing wrong with revisiting the past in order to arm yourself to face the future.
 
They accept the blame for their own predicament
 
Now, more than ever, there’s a trend to want to blame anyone but ourselves for our own predicament. How often do we see those TV adverts ‘Where’s there’s a blame, there’s a claim.’ It’s written into our DNA that we should blame someone else for what’s gone wrong in our lives.However, there’s something very powerful about accepting that we are at fault when we’ve made a mistake. Psychologists call this ‘locus of control’.
 
Locus of Control
 
Locus of control is the degree in which an individual feels they have control over their own life. This can refer to our successes as well as our failures. We attribute this control to internal factors (ourselves) or external factors (others, environment, etc.).
For example, say that a person has failed an exam. If they have an internal locus of control, they’ll attribute their failure to a lack of revision, partying the night before the exam, not paying attention in class. In other words, they’ll blame themselves for the outcome.
 
However, someone with an external locus will say the reasons for failure were their parents not waking them up in time to get to the exam on time. Or that their tutors didn’t teach them from the right books, or that the classroom was too hot/cold. They will blame other reasons for the failure.
 
Now, why is this important? Surely in life, some things are out of our control. Sometimes things happen that do ruin our chances. And yes, this is true. But studies show those who consistently take responsibility for their own successes or downfalls, in other words, have an internal locus, are happier, healthier and more successful in general.
 
Final Thoughts
 
These are just four psychological skills that anyone can master. Do you know of any others? I’d love to hear them!
 
 
 
References:
 
 

 

 
Janey Davies

 





About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

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publicado por achama às 21:11
Domingo, 16 / 02 / 20

7 Signs of Oldest Child Syndrome and How to Get Over It.

 

7 Signs of Oldest Child Syndrome and How to Get Over It.

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted February 15th, 2020.

 
 

 
 
Being the oldest sibling can be tough. After all, you were the Guinea pig, the one your parents used to learn how to be a parent. I guess that sounds kind of mean but think about it. Unless your parents worked at daycares or one of them babysit other children, when you, the oldest child came along, they were clueless. This started the oldest child syndrome.
 
This issue, although it sounds sad, helps our parents become better at raising you and your siblings.
 
There is a positive and negative side
 
Yes, this issue does have good and bad points since you got all the attention and didn’t have to share toys. But something less attractive may have developed from this place in your family. Being the oldest child sounds like it holds great power, but it can also create problems. So, are you the oldest child?
 
Signs that you have the oldest child syndrome:
 
1. Being an over-achiever
 
Firstborns are often perfectionists. They start to pick up vibes that everyone expects certain things from them. These are just ordinary vibes, but the over-achieving oldest child will put more into the expectations than they should. They want to make you, the parent proud of them and will go to any lengths to do so.
 
This attitude, while strained, can eventually lead to success in their lives. They will excel in their studies and in sports, not stopping until they feel their endeavors lack nothing.
 
2. You get harsher punishments
 
As the oldest child, not only do the parents take more pictures, buy more toys, but they also dish out harsher punishments. Harsher than what, you may ask?
 
The oldest child will endure punishments that years later, younger siblings will not. By the time baby number 2 and 3 arrive, the parents will have grown a bit lenient. It’s so unfair, but that’s just the way it goes, and yes, you have the oldest child syndrome.
 
3. No hand-me-downs
 
Guess what, you might have the syndrome of being the oldest child, but you also have all new clothes too, unless someone outside the family gives you a few things. Otherwise, everything else you wear will be yours first. It will not be until your siblings come along that you will hand these clothes down to them.
 
You feel privileged if you take the time to think about it. Sometimes you may brag a little too much about it.
 
4. Secretly resents the younger siblings
 
The first baby – they always get the first of everything else too. They are cuddled all the time, played with, and get the best bedtime stories. Then suddenly, a new baby arrives, and things start to change.
 
The mother cannot allocate as much time with them as before. She has to dole out the love for two people now. Just wait until there’s a third one. Oh, how the oldest resents the birth of their siblings. The good news is, they usually grow to love them as they get older.
 
5. They’re serious and sometimes solitary
 
The oldest child is serious about most things and also loves to be alone. This is the case before siblings come along and especially afterward. It’s not so much out of anger or depression, it’s just a part of their personality.
 
My oldest son loved being by himself, and only when he entered high school did he make many friends. Maybe he had the oldest child syndrome and maybe not.
 
6. They’re either strong-willed or the opposite
 
The oldest child can have a strong will and be extremely independent. On the other hand, they could also be dependent on everyone, afraid and always trying to please everyone. So, when the second child comes along, the oldest child will either be rebellious or compliant.
 
7. Loves acting as a teacher
 
The oldest child loves the role of teacher to their younger siblings. While it’s good to have an in-house tutor, the oldest child may teach some less-than-savory lessons to his younger sisters or brothers.
 
However, as the older child teaches their siblings different things, when they learn they are wrong, it helps them grow. Too bad it can influence the minds of the younger children.
 
How can the oldest child overcome this syndrome?
 
The way in which your oldest child acts doesn’t have to be a syndrome, but it can. There are positive things that the eldest member of the family can do in order to utilize their child’s abilities.
 
Encourage your oldest child to help with chores without denying playtime. Coax them to learn balance.
 
Make sure you give credit to your child when they have done something good. Since oldest children have perfectionist attitudes, try to notice the little things so they see that yourexpectations are being met in them.
 
Make sure you give privileges. Although your first child will be the one you hover over and try to protect, let them do some things on their own. Set an age where they can do things differently and feel more mature.
 
Don’t forget to spend quality time with each child, especially the oldest. This prevents the eldest child from thinking their time with you has passed.
 
Is it really a syndrome, or just a way of thinking?
 
In reality, I think each child, whether they are oldest, somewhere in the middle, or maybe the youngest of the clan, will have a different set of characteristics. It’s difficult raising children the same. In fact, it’s impossible. You just simply cannot do the same things for the middle of the youngest child, as you’ve done for your oldest child. That’s because, like them, you are growing too – you are growing as a parent.
 
So, if your child is exhibiting signs of oldest child syndrome, don’t be alarmed. Just help them use their quirks and strengths.
 
If you’re an adult still struggling with this, you can still embrace your behavior as your strengths. Adults, take a look at those signs above and ask yourself, “Do I have the oldest child syndrome?” And most importantly, be honest with yourself. Only then can you approach the issue in the right way.
 
So, which child were you? Myself, I am the youngest. I’d love to hear about your place in your familyand your wonderful stories.
 
References:
  1. https://www.everydayhealth.com
  2. https://www.huffpost.com

 
 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 04:23
Domingo, 09 / 02 / 20

Are You Putting Your Life on Hold? How to Live Your Life Right Now.

 Are You Putting Your Life on Hold? 

How to Live Your Life Right Now.

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted February 4th, 2020.

 

 
 
There are many reasons why you might not be living your life right now and be putting it on hold instead. None of them are ever good ones! Let’s look at the reasons why we might not be living in the present, and how to live our lives right now.
 
Reasons for putting your life on hold:
 
When we say that someone puts their life on hold, it means one thing – that person is waiting for something. What that something is, could be different for every person. Finding out why you are doing this is the first step to start living in the moment.
 
What are you waiting for?
 
Here are examples of why you might be postponing your life:
 
1. Waiting for the ‘next phase’
 
We are constantly evolving, and moving from one period of our lives into the next. Not living your life to the fullest whilst waiting for the time to pass is the worst way to waste years of your life not achieving your aspirations. These phases could include:
  • Waiting till the kids have gone to college
  • Needing to save up a certain amount of money
  • Wanting to have paid off your mortgage
  • Waiting until you have met the right person
  • Hoping to be in better shape or better health
 
2. Needing everything to be perfect
 
Are you putting your life on hold waiting for ideal circumstances that may never arise? Have you ever wished to do something but decided to do it when you win the lottery? Life is rarely perfect, and so delaying goals until it is means you are postponing your life, perhaps indefinitely.
 
3. Longing for love
 
One of the most common reasons why people put their lives on hold is waiting for the perfect relationship. Not everybody wants to settle down and get married, of course, but so many of us think that life will ‘start’ once you find your happily ever after.
 
The fact is that you need to be happy in your skin before you worry about finding your perfect partnership.
 
4. Guilt at moving on
 
After something has happened which you feel the need to be forgiven for, or to seek closure from, avoiding to live your life is the worst decision to make. Without a resolution, it can feel difficult to move forward, but you need to take the first steps to keep moving on with your life and stop putting it on hold waiting for the last chapter to end.
 
5. Indecision
 
Another reason you might be postponing your life is not being able to make a decision. If you have lots of goals and aspirations, but can’t decide which to prioritize you can get stuck in an endless cycle of hesitation until the time has passed by anyway and you haven’t achieved any of the things you set out to do.
 
Breaking the cycle – how to live your life right now
 
Once you have realized that you are putting your life on hold, you need a proactive plan to stop the cycle. Here are some ways to start living your life right now!
 
Accountability
 
Sharing your plans with a friend, partner or collaborator is a great way to kick start action. Do you dream of getting fit, starting a new business, or going back to school?
 
Stop posponing your aspirations by finding a friend to join you on your journey, be part of a support group or enroll in a course to give you the accountability to stand by your decisions and make the first move.
Eliminate indecision
 
Knowing why you refuse to live your life right now is a great way to stamp out those barriers that are holding you back. Take some time to analyze what it is you are waiting for, discuss with a friend or confidante, or seek help from a counselor to be able to walk away from your past into a brighter future.
 
Break down goals into actions
 
Having a huge goal can be daunting. Breaking it down into actionable steps is a way to digest the plan and stop avoiding living your life for fear that your aspirations are too lofty.
 
Want to take a step up on your career ladder? Take some night classes, learn a new language through an app, or look for a mentor to help you understand how to upskill and make the first decisions to start climbing that career ladder.
 
Prioritise yourself
 
Avoiding living your life to the fullest to fulfill obligations is the same as putting yourself last. You only get one life, and delaying it because of responsibilities is a waste of valuable years.
 
Whilst responsibilities for dependents always come first, remember to schedule time for yourself into every day, no matter how busy your schedule. If you had one hour per day to do anything with you wish, what would it be? Think of your answer, and then do it.
 
Start now – right now!
 
It is all too easy to stay in your comfort zone and not rock the boat. No matter how small, the first step is always the hardest but proves to yourself your commitment to achieving something new.
 
Write a list, join a social media group or tell a friend what you want to do. Even just committing to an idea in your head will help solidify your intentions, and help kick start you mentally into working on yourself.

 

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
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A Trusty with Privacy Search 
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Alternatives to YouTube
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 04:09
Segunda-feira, 03 / 02 / 20

7 Signs Your Emotional Baggage Is Keeping You Stuck and How to Move On.

7 Signs Your Emotional Baggage Is Keeping You Stuck and How to Move On.

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 31st, 2020.

 
 


 
When you just cannot move forward in life, it could be that your unresolved emotional issues are weighing you down. So many of us carry emotional baggage from somewhere. It shows in the way we speak, our actions, and even our expressions.
 
We can try to push and cram all our emotional belongings into a suitcase in our minds, but sooner or later, that suitcase is going to burst open, spilling all our emotional garbage everywhere. This won’t be a pretty site either.
 
What is emotional baggage?
 
Simply put, it is trauma, heartache, loss, love, lost friendships, and all other sorts of things. They are things that our minds refuse to release. For some reason, we keep ruminating and mulling over these issues, never finding closure or healing.
 
The baggage we carry with our emotions can spill out so far that it can affect others around us too, adding to their own problems. It’s just a complete mess and something that’s best eliminated or controlled.
 
Indicators that you’re stuck with emotional baggage
 
1. Repeating unhealthy relationships
 
Whether it’s the fact that you’ve been divorced several times, or you’re having problems connecting with the right people. If you’re repeating bad marriages or relationships, then maybe you’re carrying your baggage from one relationship to the other.
 
Now, this doesn’t mean the other party doesn’t have the baggage of their own. Sometimes it can be two people hashing through unhealthy pasts. However, it’s a big indicator that your emotional baggage is not letting you move on if you’re continually dating or associating with the same types of people.
 
2. You’re not living your potential
 
When you carry baggage from place to place, you will become weighed down, tired and even hopeless. Emotions passed from one experience to the other can kill passions that you used to have inside.
 
For example, if you love to garden, cook, play the piano, or other fulfilling things, your emotional baggage will leave you with no interest in these things anymore. If you don’t feel like doing the things you used to love, then that’s a sign you’re carrying the past into the present, and you’re alsostuck in that pattern, maybe even stuck with someone that doesn’t make you happy.
 
3. Mental illness can be a sign
 
Not all mental disorders are genetic. Some of them come from years of being stuck in an unhealthy place. Maybe you’ve been in a marriage for 20 years, enduring unhappiness for the sake of your children. Oh, how this is such a wrong thing to do. Actions like this can develop depression, anxiety, and other acquired problems.
 
With 20 unhappy years under your belt, you have several backpacks full of stuff you need to unpack. And for goodness sake, never stay for the kids. If a relationship is ruining your mental health, get out.
 
4. You haven’t faced the past
 
Sometimes really bad things happen in the past to people. Sometimes adults are survivors of childhood abuse or neglect. Sometimes adults are survivors of war, automobile accidents, or other trauma.
 
I’ve noticed that the first thing people want to do is forget about what happened, and this is the opposite of what they should be doing. Emotional baggage grows and grows the more trauma you ignore and the longer you keep it buried. If you’re not facing the past, you are dragging huge trunks of emotional belongings.
 
5. Your past is spilling into your future
 
You can have an otherwise healthy relationship, but it can be quickly tainted by things from the past. While there are red flags telling you that something is wrong, there are also coincidences that make you over-react and drag out old emotional scars. Then you apply these scars to your present situation.
 
If you’re taking a perfectly healthy union and basing it on all your damaged or broken unions of the past, then you are carrying baggage filled with old emotional content. If you happen to have a good partner, this is not fair to them.
 
6. Your sleeping habits are atrocious
 
Are you having trouble sleeping? If so, maybe you’re having nightmares every night. And if you are, then maybe it’s because of unresolved conflicts and trauma.
 
I have many traumatic situations from my past that invade my dreams most every night. Sometimes I feel okay in the morning, but sometimes I feel as though I’ve been run over by a truck. Until I get all this stuff cleaned out, my nights will continue to be inconsistent. This could be what’s happening to you too.
 
7. Emotional outbursts
 
For the most part, staying calm is pretty easy, but if you are carrying emotional baggage, eventually,there will be an outburst of some kind. It’s like cramming things in that suitcase we were talking about and not expecting it to pop open eventually.
 
 
If you have unresolved issues, hence the baggage, sooner or later, there will be an outburst of some kind. You would start yelling at someone after holding in your feelings for too long, or you could even get into a fight. If you’ve had any outbursts lately, then check to see if you have a bit of baggage left unchecked.
How can we move on?
 
 
The whole point of all this is to understand how to move past our emotional baggage. We have to unpack each item and take a close look at it. Do you have some childhood abuse folded up in there, maybe a whole stack of it? Then unfold it, look at it, and talk to someone about what happened. Yes, get help, and soon.
 
Do you have unhealthy past relationships rolled into the corner of the suitcase trying to hide and be forgotten? Well, grab those and learn what went wrong. Say there were two bad relationships, look at one, and objectively remember where the fights, disagreements, and divisions started.
 
Learn how not to repeat the same patterns. Most of the time, where relationships are concerned, it’s wise to stay alone for a few years between. Unfortunately, I know way too many people who hop from one relationship to the next, looking for better. Most of the time, they get the same or worse because they haven’t unpacked their baggage yet.
 
If emotional baggage concerns family relations, you have to continue staying in touch with your family despite what may have happened in the past. That is unless your family is the source of some kind of abuse, in which that baggage now has to be forgiven. If it’s just about old disagreements, you have to face each other and find a compromise.
 
There are many ways to unpack those suitcases and backpacks, but if you don’t you will carry them with you forever. And, no matter how old you are, you don’t want to have these things still sitting by your bedside at the end of your life. No regrets remember.
 
 
I hope you unpack your baggage soon. I am working on mine.
 

 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 01:30
Quarta-feira, 22 / 01 / 20

How to Think Before You Speak and Why You Need to.

Lottie Miles.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 22nd, 2020.

 
How to Think Before You Speak.

 
 
Think before you speak! This age-old adage reminds us that speaking first and thinking secondcan get us into bother, be it in relationships, or even in our own opinion of ourselves. Indeed, the words we speak don’t just cause a reaction in the here and now. They can also influence how you think and how your future unfolds.
 
In this post, we will look at the reasons why you should think before you speak and the benefits you can get from taking that bit longer to blurt out what first springs to mind.
 
Why should you think before you speak?
 
As already alluded to, there are a number of reasons why we should reason on an answer before we elicit what we are thinking. Here, we outline 3 reasons why thinking before you speak is important:
 
Prevent regret
 
The Greek saying goes that ‘one word spoken in anger may spoil and entire life’. Similarly, a Senegalese proverb argues that ‘to spend the night in anger is better than to spend it repenting’.
 
Anyone who has ever sent an angry email in the heat of the moment will know the value of these words. Whilst writing an angry text or email can be therapeutic, it’s always worth sitting on it until our hot head has cooled and we can see more clearly.
 
Getting angry at someone we love, at a friend, or at a colleague is only likely to lead to regret. If we get angry at loved ones, we feel bad, at friends, we might lose their trust, and at a colleague, we might miss out on future opportunities by losing credibility. By thinking before we speak, we can increase our chances of steering clear of feelings of regret.
 
Improve your relationships (near and far)
 
It’s not just when we feel angry that we need to be careful. As our experiences of the world around us feel like life is passing by ever faster, it can be tempting to rush responses to messages, be they at work or to family.
 
Unfortunately, written text is much less nuanced than speech and a short reply sent with a light-hearted tone in mind could easily be read as a curt, cold or irritable shut down.
 
An off-and comment blurted out without thinking can be just as damaging to relationships as a misread text. If we don’t take the time and care to listen to what others are really telling us, we can either say the wrong thing or miss what is behind what’s being said. This means it is always important to be careful about how we respond to people, think about what they are saying, and respond with care.
 
Control your mind and future
 
What we say affects how we think about ourselves and the world around us. The Stanford University Professor of Psychology, Neuroscience, and symbolic systems argues this is because our subconscious minds interpret what we say, internally or externally, literally. The constant use of negative words to ourselves or others will see an altered mindset linked to the words, be they bitter, angry, judgemental, or negative.
 
On the flip side of this, research shows positive thinking can have beneficial impacts on your skills. This makes it all the more important to think before you speak, to prevent feelings of regret, improve your relationships with others, and help you keep your mind positive to open up doors for future opportunities.
 
Top tips on how to think before you speak
 
Now you know a few reasons why it is important, it’s a good idea to get to grips with how to ensure you do this. Here, we outline some handy questions to have in your mind when it comes to staying on top of thinking before speaking that make up the THANKS method to think before you speak, which breaks down as follows:
  • True
  • Helpful
  • Affirming
  • Necessary
  • Kind
  • Sincere
 
If we turn these words that make up the THANKS acronym into questions we answer before we speak, we have a quick and easy method to answer any question thoughtfully.
 
Are you going to say something that is true?
 
If we want people to trust us and value our opinion, we want to be clear about where we have gathered our information from and ensure we know what we say is true before we say it. Take the time to understand your own judgements and misjudgements.
 
Are you going to say something helpful?
 
Is what you are saying going to beneficial in some way to the person you are speaking to? A hurtful comment will not make it past this stage – helping to prevent regret.
 
Are you going to say something that is affirming for the person you are speaking to?
 
Will your words be relatable to the other person? Will they help them to empathize? Will they be inspiring for them? If you are not going to get some buy-in from the person with what you say, it’s worth giving it some more thought.
 
Are you going to say something necessary?
 
Everyone’s been trapped in a conversation they have no interest in or listening to office chat that is meaningless and off-putting. By confirming that what you plan to say is going to be useful in some way, you can prevent being the one accidentally doing this.
 
Are you going to say something kind?
 
Negative comments, be they about yourself or others, foster a negative mindset. ‘If you haven’t got something nice to say, don’t say it’, just like your parents always told you.
 
Are you going to say something that is sincere?
 
Finally, make sure you mean what you say. It’s easy to tell if someone is being fake so a final sincerity check will help you make sure you mean what you say.
 
Thinking before you speak can ensure you steer clear of regret, improve your relationships, and help you control your mind in a way that fosters a beneficial future. Try using the THANKS method to help you think before you speak and you’ll soon reap the rewards of thoughtful speaking.


 

 

Lottie Miles

 






 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
and https://www.facebook.com/mel.tavares.75


A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com
 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
Free counters!

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publicado por achama às 10:07
Segunda-feira, 13 / 01 / 20

6 Mentalism Tricks That Will Allow You to Read People’s Minds

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

January 7th, 2020.

 
Mentalism Tricks.
 


 
Mentalism is everywhere in our lives. Fictional characters such as Sherlock Holmesuse mentalism tricks to solve clues. Not to mention the highly successful US TV show – The Mentalist is based around this phenomenon. In addition, UK performer Derren Brown has made a career from using mentalism and performing tricks in his shows. So, what exactly is this technique and how do people use it?
 
A Personal Experience of Mentalism Tricks
 
I went to a Derren Brown show a couple of years ago. Derren picked members of the audience to participate in the show by throwing a frisbee. I managed to catch it.
 
 
My job was to choose a number from 100 to 200. I randomly picked a number which I wrote down and placed in an envelope. This number was integral of a series of other answers given by audience members who had also been randomly selected throughout the show.
 
To this day, I have no idea how he managed to guess all our answers. The weird thing is that they all related to one another in some way. Moreover, if he had got just one answer wrong, they all would have been wrong.
 
So what exactly are mentalism tricks? A mentalist, such as Derren Brown, will use a variety of ways to read you.
 
6 Different Tricks of Mentalism
  1. Studying body language
  2. Subconscious communication
  3. Simple trickery
  4. Understanding human behaviour
  5. Cold reading
  6. Power of suggestion
 
Let’s examine each method in turn and discover the tricks of mentalism:
 
Studying Body Language
 
A mentalist’s greatest strength is his or her ability to understand body language. Gifted mentalists will use this to supposedly read people’s minds. In other words – telepathy.
 
Actually, if you break down the word telepathy, you get ‘tele’, which means distant, and ‘pathy’, which means perception or feeling. This is exactly what a mentalist does to read your mind. They get a feeling from a distance and using their knowledge of body language to interpret this feeling.
 
When reading someone’s body language, the first thing a mentalist will do is establish a person’s base level. So they may start with fairly innocuous questions to gauge a normal reaction. For example, a person might have a habit of playing with their hair. If you didn’t know this was normal behaviour, you might assume they were hiding something later on in the questioning process.
 
Remember that mentalists take years to perfect their observations on body language. However, the main areas they’ll focus on are the face and hands.
 
 
On the face, they will look at movement around the mouth when talking. Does the person push their lips out when speaking? This is a sign they are forcing their words out and might not believe what they are saying. Likewise, do they cover their mouth while speaking?
 
This is an indicator of lying.
 
What is their blink rate like? Look out for the ‘blink sandwich’. This is a fast succession of blinks before a lie, no blinks during the lie, then another burst of fast blinks. This happens because the person lying will often stare at their accuser to make their lie seem more truthful.
 
However, their eyes cannot keep up the pretence and need to blink. Hence the rapid blinks either side.
Subconscious communication
 
Are you the sort of person that always seems to receive great customer service? Or is it the opposite? Would you be surprised to learn that either way it might be your subconscious communications that are influencing others and predicting these outcomes?
 
Imagine two scenarios:
In the first, you are late for work and rush into a coffee shop. You are flustered and unkempt and when it is your turn to be served, you bark ‘coffee’ at the server without looking up.
In the second scene, you have a day off and are meeting friends. You stroll in, walk up to the counter, smile at the server and ask for coffee.
 
These two scenes are practically identical but for a slight tweak in attitude. But it is your subconscious communication that is speaking clearly here. What kind of service do you suppose you would receive for each scenario?
 
Remember, if it is so easy for novices like ourselves to understand, imagine how a mentalist could use it to read a person?
 
Simple Trickery
 
Most of us would like to believe that we wouldn’t be fooled by magic tricks, especially the really easy ones. But some of the best are the simple tricks. If you like programmes such as Perception with US actor Eric McCormack as Dr Daniel Pierce, you’ll be used to seeing mentalism tricks such as these.
 
For instance, in one episode, Dr Pierce ‘demonstrates’ his mind-reading abilities. He consistently guesses correctly from a deck of cards the right symbol his colleague is thinking of. His colleague is amazed until Dr Pierce reveals that he can see the cards his colleague is holding in the reflection of the colleague’s glasses.
 
Understanding Human Behaviour
 
I had gone to a psychic fair held locally and had managed to book the last sitting with a popular clairvoyant.
 
Just as she began my reading, a lady walked up and sadly said ‘Is it too late to book?’ The clairvoyant said ‘Yes, I’m sorry, this is my last sitting,’ gesturing to me. The lady was about to turn away and the clairvoyant stood up, grabbed her hand and said ‘It will be alright you know, you’ve suffered a terrible tragedy, but they are in a better place now.’
 
The lady broke down and said ‘Thank you’ and went on her way. I wondered afterwards, how did she know? But of course, this clairvoyant had been in the business for decades. I’m not taking anything away from her. She was an extremely kind lady to get up and offer the woman some solace.
 
Having said that, did she have clairvoyant skills or did she simply understand that this lady needed some kind of closure?
 
Cold Reading
 
This is a particularly pernicious way of using mentalism tricks to get people to open up about themselves. You could relate it back to the previous story in fact.
 
 
Cold reading is when the reader has no clue at all about their audience. So they throw out random or general facts that could apply to almost anyone. It’s a little like your horoscopes. They are fishing for a bite. Once someone has bitten they can trawl them in with vague questions until they hit on the jackpot.
 
Cold reading uses a number of techniques to help them. They will use information about certain groups of people in order to pigeon-hole people. For example, young girls are likely to have problems with self-esteem. They’ll employ certain tactics such as ‘Barnum statements’ like ‘You feel anxious meeting new people’ or ‘When you try hard you succeed in whatever you do.’
 
Fishing is an example of a specific statement like ‘I can see a car accident here is significant’. Then, if this is picked up the audience will be impressed. If it is not the mentalist will quickly move on.
 
Power of Suggestion
 
Finally, the last but probably most important of our tricks involving mentalism is the power of suggestion. This is because it can be used in so many ways to manipulate us, and not just by performers. One person, Jay Olsen, found that his hobby of magic and illusion helped his career in psychology.
 
 
“Lots of what they said about attention and memory were just what magicians had been saying in a different way.” Jay Olson at McGill University in Quebec, Canada
 
Olsen devised a simple experiment in which he flicked through a deck of cards, then asked an audience member to choose one. When the card was revealed, Olsen took out the exact card from his jacket pocket.
 
So what was the mentalism trick he used? Olsen says that whilst shuffling through the pack, he lingered for a couple of milliseconds longer on the chosen card. This was enough for participants to choose it.
 
 
This easy manipulation technique has far-reaching implications, as Olsen is keen to point out. It even works on restaurant menus. Olsen says that we are more likely to choose from the very top or bottom of the menu. This is because these areas immediately attract our eyes.
 
So, while we think we might fancy the steak, really it’s just because it’s there at the top.
Final Thoughts
 
Mentalism tricks show just how easy it is for people to read our minds. But don’t forget, if they can read ours, we can use these same techniques and read theirs!
 
References:

 

 
Janey Davies

 





About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

Archives:

 


 
A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com
 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
Free counters!

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publicado por achama às 16:16
Segunda-feira, 13 / 01 / 20

Why Letting Go of Grudges Is Crucial for Your Happiness and How to Do It

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

January 10, 2020

 



 
 
I think it’s fair to say that we’ve all been wronged in some way. Whether it’s a nasty break-up, betrayal by a friend, or an old school bully, once we hold a grudge against them, it’s hard to let go. Letting go of grudges is good for our health, but it’s hard to do.
 
We say we’ve forgiven, but we don’t forget. Sometimes, a grudge can last a lifetime. It’s time to start letting go of the grudges we hold and start fresh with a healthier new outlook.
 
 
We hold grudges for a whole host of reasons. Psychologists have suggested that we use grudges to define ourselves and excuse our bad behavior. We write off our coldness, mistrust and sometimes plain rudeness, as the result of past hurt.
 
Some suggest that we are holding grudges as a subconscious way to get sympathy and extra kindnessthat we didn’t get initially. This is especially true with victims of school-aged bullies. At the time, there was little support for the hardship. As an adult, if we tell our stories, others will feel bad for us. We hold onto our grudges towards these bullies, so we can keep re-telling the story.
 
While those reasons might require more intensive thought, some other reasons can be more superficial. We might consider holding a grudge to be a form of revenge. Never letting go of the grudge means never letting the offender get away with their crimes.
 
The reality is, those who wronged you probably aren’t even aware of your reserved hostility, or even worse, they don’t care. Instead of holding onto this pain, perhaps it’s time to work on letting go of these grudges.
 
Why Letting Go of Grudges Is Crucial for Your Happiness
 
They Serve No Purpose
 
If psychologists are correct in their theories on holding grudges, then we can see that the reasons are never beneficial. Holding onto the anger or pain won’t help us to heal from the hurt. It won’t undo the damage done in the past.
 
Grudges won’t serve as a kind of revenge. Even if the offender is begging for forgiveness, there is no benefit to YOU by never letting go of the grudge.
 
They’re Bad for Your Health
 
A number of studies have shown that holding onto grudges can cause a serious decline in health. Having a grudge to carry with you means you’re repeatedly becoming angry every time the memory comes to your mind. We certainly all know by now that anger has a negative effect on our health. Constantly recurring anger is dangerous.
 
Anger, and in turn holding grudges, can lead to increases in heart rate and blood pressure. When we’re angered, our body’s stress response is triggered, leading to a whole host of unhealthy chemical reactions inside us. If you want to keep your body healthy and safe, you’d better start letting go of some grudges.
 
They Consume Us
 
Grudges are just pain that we carry with us everywhere. As well as the toll they take on our psychical body, they also have negative impacts on our mental health too. Negative thoughts take over from positive ones usually. They consume more of our time and fill our minds with a negative voice.
 
Overthinking the causes, possible solutions, and the revenge you crave will make it harder for your brain to function. Your usually clear thinking will be swallowed whole by the anger and frustration you let ruminate in your mind all day.
 
Not letting go of your grudges will lead to anger, mistrust, and resentment leaking out into your current life. Your personal relationships will suffer. Your career will suffer. Progression can only happen when you untie yourself from the past.
 
How to Start Letting Go of Grudges
 
Take Charge of Your Needs
 
Instead of letting the hurt swirl around your mind all day and night, try going after what you really need to solve this problem. Depending on the length of your grudge and the situation you’re in, talking it out might not be an option.
 
Instead, try talking to yourself. If you can’t get closure, then you have to close the door yourself. This might be easier said than done, but it is possible. Remind yourself of what you’re losing by being angry so often. Notice how little you’re gaining.
 
If you are in a position to talk to the person who hurt you, then do. Be confident in yourself and your needs. Sometimes, you need closure for your wellbeing.
 
Tell this person how hurt you were by what they did and explain that it’s still chipping away at you. If they respond in kind, open up a dialogue. If they don’t, know your pain and this person were never worth it. Let go of this grudge.
 
Embrace Your Mental Strength
 
You can’t change the past. You can’t make the person who hurt you feel guilty. You can, however, change your own thinking. It’s time to get in touch with your own thoughts and slow them down when you feel angry.
 
Remember that your brain was able to create this pain, so it’s able to let it go too. Letting go of grudges is entirely down to you. It’s not going to be easy but letting go can be a choice. You can choose not to hate, or feel anger, anymore.
 
When the frustrated thoughts occur to you, breathe them out. Remind yourself that this person has no power, only you do. No more letting this person win, especially if they’re already out of your life.
 
Distract yourself when these thoughts occur and forbid yourself from dwelling on them. No more obsessing, no more giving any of your precious time to this person who did you wrong.
 
See It from Their Side
 
It might be tough, even painful to do, but sometimes it can be helpful to put yourself in their shoes. Understand what happened in the beginning from a neutral point of view and wonder about how you would have reacted from their side.
 
Remember, we have all done wrong in our lives. We’ve all caused hurt in some way, it’s almost guaranteed. We are flawed, and that’s okay. Don’t place yourself on such a high pedestal that you can never forgive others’ mistakes.
 
It’s also important to understand that a person rarely has malicious intentions when they hurt us, they just acted thoughtlessly or inconsiderately towards our feelings. Rarely are our offenders genuinely evil. Their behavior may have been wrong but trying to connect with the reasons behind their actions might help you find solace.
 
Find the Root Cause
 
Most of the time, when we’re having trouble letting go of a grudge, there’s a deeper cause that we’re missing. This pain we carry tends to reflect a deep value that we hold that has been violated.
 
It can be beneficial to learn why this matter hurts you so much. Once you understand what fundamental moral of yours has been violated, you can start letting go of this grudge. Deep dive into why this moral is so important.
 
Most importantly, if you feel that something essential to you has been violated, then you know this person doesn’t belong in your life or mind. They don’t deserve your thoughts, because, in the end, their choices do not line up with your beliefs and values.
 
Letting go of grudges can be hard, but holding on is dangerous. Allow yourself to release the past. Be optimistic about your future, without bearing the weight of an ancient grudge. You’ll be surprised to see just how prosperous you can be when your mind is free from the torture that is on-going anger.
 
 
References:
  1. https://www.usnews.com
  2. https://journals.sagepub.com
  3. https://www.psychologytoday.com
 

Becky Storey
 

 




 

About the Author: Becky Storey


 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com

 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
Free counters!

  geoglobe1
 
 
publicado por achama às 05:00
A Luz está a revelar a Verdade, e esta libertar-nos-á! -Só é real o AMOR Incondicional. -Quando o Amor superar o amor pelo poder, o mundo conhecerá a Paz; Jimi Hendrix. -Somos almas a ter uma experiência humana!

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