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Sábado, 14 / 12 / 19

10 Signs of Unresolved Trauma from Your Childhood and How to Deal with It

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted December 12th, 2019.

 
Unresolved Trauma Childhood.

 
 
Dealing with unresolved trauma isn’t as simple as trying to be more positive. This kind of trauma goes deep with its roots.
 
I seem to always be talking about trauma, abuse or some other unresolved issues. By now, you’d think I’d been cured of all my problems, but I’m not. My traumas run deep, and for a couple of stages of my life, I pushed them back, repressing what happened to me.
 
This isn’t healthy, but it’s a common defense system when you’ve gone through trauma. This could be what your loved ones are feeling and more.
 
Life-lasting effects of childhood trauma
 
When we experience traumatic things during childhood, some of us think it’s a part of the normal process of life. When I was abused, I actually thought it was supposed to happen, that is until I grew old enough to know the difference.
 
Unresolved issues concerning trauma don’t rear their ugly heads until we’re older, as with my situation, so we learn so much as we grow. Not everything we learn is positive. If someone you love has repressed childhood trauma, there are signs you can see and some just waiting beneath the surface.
 
As unresolved childhood trauma can affect the future, it’s best to find solutions to at least some of these issues.
 
10 ways to recognize unresolved trauma in your loved ones
 
1. You have no joy
 
If your friend’s childhood trauma has not been resolved, then they’ll have a difficult time feeling joy. Things that should make them look forward to tomorrow will have them dreading it instead.
 
Your friend may be able to feel a form of joy, however, or even be able to feed off some of the joy of others, but they will not have the pure joy of their own which comes from true happiness.
 
2. Trust issues
 
I can personally attest that I do not trust many people. And yes, I do have some unresolved issues from my childhood trauma. Trust is hard to have when your trust was broken in abuse. Whether your loved one was neglected or beaten, they saw people as bad and they lost trust in them.
 
If someone you love has trust issues, there could have been some terrible trauma in their past.
 
3. Nightmares
 
Boy, I must have many unresolved issues from my past traumas because I have nightmares or weird dreams every night. Yes, having nightmares on a regular basis could be a sign that your boyfriend or girlfriend has things from childhood that they haven’t faced. This could be any sort of abuse or neglect. Since these roots run deep, the nightmares are probably filled with vivid detail.
 
Sometimes they can be so disturbing they ruin sleep completely, leaving the one you love sweating and gasping for breath. To be honest, I had a nightmare so terrible one time that I woke screaming. So yeah, those bad dreams, they could very well be telling you something important about your loved one’s past.
 
4. Self-harm
 
Cutters aren’t just kids, well teens. Some adults resort to self-harm or self-mutilation. Adults, however, don’t always cut. Sometimes, they starve themselves, scratch sores on their skin or even pull out their hair.
 
These signs could be medical conditions as well, but you might want to do a bit of research into the past. Try to find out if these acts of self-violence come from negative childhood events. They could.
 
5. Extreme anger
 
Many times, those who have anger problems are either dealing with something extremely stressful now, or they could be exhibiting a release from the trauma of the past.
 
Unresolved trauma from the past builds and builds anger during our lifetime, even if we push it back and try to forget. It still festers until the trauma is faced. This extreme anger can damage others as well as actually affect health and shorten the lifespan. It can surely be one of the signs that something happened long ago.
 
6. Fears
 
Have you ever noticed someone get suddenly afraid for no logical reason? That’s because something has triggered that response.
 
 
When there are unresolved issues from the past, this fear will surface many times, and in strange situations. There may not seem like anything could possibly go wrong, but previous victims can still have fear.
 
7. Panic attacks
 
Whether your friend has an anxiety disorder or not, panic attacks can be a sure sign that there are unresolved issues. Panic attacks do happen randomly, but they are also triggered by something that reminds them of their childhood.
 
Panic attacks cause increased heart rate, hyperventilating, and other symptoms. Watch for these symptoms.
 
8. Avoiding people
 
It’s okay to be an introvert, but avoiding people all the time, and sometimes rarely leaving your home is just not normal. Something is going on that needs to be addressed.
 
This behavior could be the result of something traumatic that happened in childhood. If someone can’t be around people, then people cannot help them. They can even start to experience dissociation episodes as well.
 
9. Hypervigilance
 
Hypervigilance is always being on guard no matter how safe the surroundings may be. If your loved one wakes up expecting something negative is going to happen, and they go throughout the day thinking the same thing, they will remain in that fight or flight syndrome. This elevated state of being can be damaging to their health.
10. Addictions
 
Another sign of unresolved trauma is falling into addictive behavior. Everyone knows about addiction to alcohol and drugs, but there are many other things that can become an addiction.
 
 
If your loved one’s childhood was traumatic, they probably think about it more than they should. Sometimes these thoughts are just too hard to handle, and some turn to various addictions.
 
Unresolved issues from your childhood can be addressed
 
When you’re dealing with friends and loved ones who have unresolved pain and heartache from their childhood, you have to be careful and considerate. It might take you a while to understand what’s going on, and you may make mistakes when trying to help them, but it’s okay.
 
The best way to deal with unresolved and painful childhood trauma is to follow a few steps.
 
Talk to your loved one. Learn about what happened if they are willing to open up to you.
 
If there are unresolved issues, work together to figure out how to solve those issues. If you can’t help, seek the help of a professional who has a better understanding of unresolved childhood trauma.
 
Don’t be judgemental and never tell them how someone else easily healed from trauma. That can make them feel even worse.
 
Be a friend. Be a true friend, and coax them to do anything positive that you can.
 
Be as kind as possible, and don’t do anything extra that makes them even more hyper-vigilant. Learn their triggers and avoid them.
 
Slowly and carefully help them get used to a few people at a time.
 
 
Any trauma can be resolved with the right help
 
I’ve provided a few ways to help people who suffer from negative events from childhood. The most important part of this healing is getting to the root of what happened. That’s why you do the first tip from above and open up a dialogue with them.
 
If you feel like you don’t understand what they’re going through, get educated. After all, helping each other and learning how to do that is extremely important.
 
Remember, those who’ve suffered need hope. So, let’s help them keep it.



Sherrie Hurd

 

 

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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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publicado por achama às 03:24
Sexta-feira, 25 / 01 / 19

7 Different Types of Anger and the Hidden Causes Behind Each ~ Sherrie.

7 Different Types of Anger and the Hidden Causes Behind Each.

By Sherrie.

January 24th, 2019 

 

types of anger.

 

 

Anger is an interesting emotion which comes from many different places. Understanding the various types of anger helps you also harness this feeling.

Before you start being judgemental about anger, take pause for a moment. Anger isn’t a “sin”, but what we do with that anger is what we deem to be wrong. There are so many types of anger developed from various emotions and experiences. Depending on what life is throwing at us, anger could be a number of things.

Anger in its many forms

Without delving too deeply into religion, I will give an example. In Christianity, Christ became angry one notable time. He walked through a temple and tossed tables and kicked over stands. Why did he do this? Because he was appalled by the gambling and other “unholy” things he witnessed in a holy place.
Now, it’s not for me to say what’s good or bad, but this is an example of what I call “righteous” anger and a testimony to how anger in itself is not bad. Righteous anger, for example, is anger based on morals and beliefs, many times spiritually based, you see. There are many types of anger as well, as I have said before.
There are many types of anger, yes, and these types represent reasoning of some sort. While some anger is slow to form, others can be a rapid burst of seemingly uncontrollable rage. In this rage is where we see anger taking on negative action.
So, let’s examine the different types of anger and the causes behind them.

1. Moral or righteous anger

As I stated above in the example, there are such things as righteous anger. It’s also called moral angerbecause it comes from being upset when someone breaks rules.
If you have rules set in a household and someone in that household breaks these rules, you will experience righteous anger. This is because most rules come from beliefs. Unfortunately, some people use the defense that you think you’re better than everyone else. It’s a common defense, and usually, just a way to deflect their guilt.
Now, let me tell you a secret about righteous anger. There is a hidden meaning behind this feeling. It seems that when someone gets strict in their righteous anger, it could be their attempt at control.
The truth is, righteous anger can go too far and turn you into a controlling and manipulative individual. So, be careful with that flaming sword.

2. Behavioral anger

Of all types of anger, this one is the most volatile. Behavioral anger is usually so strong that it turns physical. Now, this doesn’t mean that this anger always causes injuries.
Sometimes individuals who use this type of anger may only throw things or punch walls. Unfortunately, sometimes this emotion does result in attacking other people, and can certainly cause injuries and even legal consequences.
There are a few hidden secrets about this type of anger. Behavioral anger can come from past trauma or neglect. Without proper upbringing, a person cannot learn to control their emotions correctly, and with trauma, behavioral anger may be the only way to deal with hurts experienced early in life.
While so dangerous, this anger can still be treated and channeled in the right direction.

3. Habitual anger

When you’ve been angry for so long, it can be hard to stop being angry. This is not a joke, it’s a real problem. Habitual anger is a perpetual state of unrest and dissatisfaction with pretty much everything and everyone. When you try to deal with those who exhibit types of anger such as this, they will most often get angrier.
The hidden aspect of this anger lies within the past and trickles down through the years. Although this type of anger may have been born early in life, it has grown, due to various negative experiences in the years following.
For instance, if you are in your 4os, like me, then you’ve had several decades to feed and grow this anger. if you’ve had issues with habitual anger, then by now, your life may be a walking nightmare. Sorry, the truth hurts….but the good news is, you can learn to heal from this too.

4. Self-harm

Yes, self-harm is more than just depression. The act of self-harm can actually be a form of anger against one’s self. When people cut their skin, they could be exhibiting anger for how they look or their own conditions. It’s a complicated matter to understand sometimes, but it’s a negative emotion which must be revealed.
The hidden aspects of self-harm can come from many places. Self-harm can come from past abuse, trauma, neglect and so on. It can also come from repeated disappointments and broken relationships.
Basically, instead of focusing anger outward, people who suffer from self-harm may focus these emotions on the person within.

5. Vengeance

One of the most common types of anger is vengeance or revenge anger. It’s a basic form of anger which has been around since the beginning of time. With this form of anger, there’s usually not a lot of premeditation, except for the plans of getting revenge which come along with the emotion.
To be honest, there is little-hidden meaning behind this type of anger. It is straightforward and to the ones who feel this emotion, it is pure in its intent. Those who exhibit vengeance feel the emotions and actions are warranted.

6. Passive-aggression

While this type of anger may seem harmless, it sometimes can do quite a bit of damage. It just doesn’t leave scars in the way you think. With passive aggressive anger, emotions tend to be pushed down for the most part.
There is resentment, sarcasm, and mockery, all hiding behind a façade. Because of their inability to express themselves in a healthy manner, those who suffer from passive-aggressive emotions will internalize what they really feel.
One hidden secret about this form of anger is that it’s said to come from childhood emotional abuse. Some children are taught to not express negative emotions, and so they grow up to think passive aggression is a logical way of dealing with problems.

7. Incidental anger

One form of anger that most people see as normal is incidental anger. The truth is, this is pretty much a normal reaction to certain situations of injustice. To have incidental anger is to witness something which should be changed and have the patience to address this in a healthy manner.
There are usually no hidden agendas or secrets where this type of anger is involved.

Dealing with the anger of all types

Different types of anger must be addressed in various ways. While some forms are easy to deal with, others can be dangerous. Sometimes even professional help will be needed when dealing with certain situations.
As I stated before, anger in itself is not a bad thing. It’s all depends on the actions and negative thought patterns that you choose to utilize when you lose your temper. For future references, learn more about what makes you angry and how you can deal with this anger in the right way.
References:
  1. https://stress.lovetoknow.com
  2. https://www.everydayhealth.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.

 
 




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Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.

 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 23:35
A Luz está a revelar a Verdade, e esta libertar-nos-á! -Só é real o AMOR Incondicional. -Quando o Amor superar o amor pelo poder, o mundo conhecerá a Paz; Jimi Hendrix. -Somos almas a ter uma experiência humana!

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