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Quinta-feira, 16 / 01 / 20

7 Signs You Are an Overly Critical Person and How to Stop Being One

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 16th, 2020.

 
 

 
 
You may think that you aren’t an overly critical person until you read about it. If you are, you can learn how to stop.
 
I am an overly critical person. There, I went ahead and admitted a fact about myself. To be honest, in the last few months, I’ve realized quite a bit of unhealthy aspects of my personality. But instead of letting it drag me down, I choose to work on this issue and get better. Are you overly critical?
 
What is an overly critical person?
 
You won’t recognize that you’re criticizing and judging people until it’s been done to you, or until you start reading about the signs. You may think the way you operate is normal, and your intentions are to help others be better people.
 
But remember, every human is an individual, and criticism doesn’t change them, it shouldn’t. If anything is to be changed, it should be done by the one who wants to change. Do you see my point? Well, in case you don’t understand, read on…
 
Signs of criticizing way too much:
 
1. A negative upbringing
 
Unfortunately, so many of us were surrounded by negative people when we were children. Our mothers, our fathers, even extended family members constantly talked about other people, and judged individuals on one trait, or what they wear.
 
If you grew up listening to all this negativity, you may still think it’s normal to criticize people and judge them. Yes, this trait of being overly critical can be deep indeed.
 
2. Labeled a negative person
 
If the people who are close to you are saying that you’re negative all the time, then it might be time to evaluate yourself.
 
No, you don’t have to take everything a person says to heart, but when family and friends repeatedly tell you to stop being so judgemental, then you probably need to change that fact and try to be more positive. If you’re used to being negative, this will be hard to do, but it will be so worth it when results show.
 
3, Micromanaging is second nature
 
If someone in your household is repairing a window or cooking a meal, it will be almost impossible for you to let them do it without your help – moreover, it does not really help, it’s the fact that you will tell them all the ways they’re doing it wrong. You may even take hold of the tools or utensils and do a bit of the work to show them.
 
This is a glaring indication that you are much too critical of others and what they do.
 
4. You have a mental disorder
 
I hate mentioning this one again because it seems to be a growing issue. However, if you have a mental disorder, you may also have a problem with criticizing people. Paranoia will make youconstantly ask questions about how someone is completing a task. Anxiety will make you criticize almost everything, honestly.
 
I do this. If I don’t have consistency, then something is wrong. If someone looks shady, then I will say they’re shady. Yes, I am embarrassed to admit it, but mental illness can cause us to become extremely judgmental while we wish others weren’t so judgemental of us. So, when we fight the stigma, remember, let’s fight the judgment in ourselves as well.
 
5. Nothing is completely enjoyable
 
Do you know those people who go out and have a good time and come home smiling? Yeah, I’m not one of them. I want to be, and I want it so badly I could scream. You will recognize the overly critical person by the fact that they find something wrong with everything.
 
You could simply be going to see a movie, and they will complain about some trivial little things like too many previews. Ordinary people enjoy the movie and go home happy. No matter how fun the day is, the critical people will find the fault – we will find the crack in perfection.
 
6. You’re always moody
 
An overly critical person will always be moody, whether they have depression or not. That’s because not everyone else is doing things as you would do them.
 
For instance, a critical person can get angry because someone forgets to open the door for them. This could have been a one-time incident, but they will label it as being inconsiderate. There are so many things that moody people notice and it makes them even darker.
 
7. You complain all the time
 
A critical person will complain so much that they prepare themselves for the bad day they will have, no kidding. I got in the habit for a while of waking up and immediately wondering how someone was going to make me mad at some point during the day. I should have been thankful and thinking about all the time I had to get good things done.
 
Then when people come around, and something isn’t right, like you expected, you complain. You complain if you get too much attention, you complain if you aren’t, you complain if it rains, you complain if it stays dry and hot. No matter how wonderful the day is, a constant critical person will make it tarnished.
How do we stop this?
 
So, since I do this too, we gotta learn to stop together, right? I’ve been reading up on some material that’s starting to help me with this problem. If that critical thinking is deep-rooted in childhood, then when you start thinking that way, remember where it comes from and say a resounding “NO!”
 
What this does is it reminds you that you are not your ancestors, and you can see the world in a different way.
 
If you suffer from a mental disorder, then working with your therapist and telling them ALL the truth about your day will help them find ways to turn your thought process around. It’s all about your mindset.
 
I’ve learned that. You see, you’ve set your mind to bad, and gradually, with small steps, you can set it to good. Instead of saying, “Oh god, I wonder what crap I will have to put up with the day.”, say,“Oh, I am so excited to start this new day!”
 
For the complainers, practice finding at least one good thing about the person you’re criticizing. For the ones who criticize even their fun times, try to only have fun and ignore those pestering thoughts telling you that the drive was too long, or the bathrooms were too dirty.
 
It’s all about practice, you see. It’s bettering yourself a little bit every day. If you fail, just try again. Don’t let others’ negative remarks spark your negativity. Return a negative comment with a nice one. It will startle them and they will get confused. I’ve been doing this lately.

 

 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 18:45
Terça-feira, 07 / 01 / 20

8 Toxic Mental Habits That Mess Up Your Life without You Even Knowing

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 7th, 2020.

 


 
Mental habits are often established over time. Thus, you often don’t even know that you have these habits and how they can mess up your life without you realizing that.
 
Here are some of the key mental habits that harm your life – and what to do about them!
 
1. Listening to self-doubt
 
Your inner critic is not a nice person; they never are. Whilst we all experience self-doubt at times, allowing yourself to be constantly in a battle with your psyche is one of the worst habits for your mental health.
 
Giving airtime to your self-doubt reinforces those feelings and can make you second-guess and question yourself constantly. This saps your ability to progress, move forward and succeed. You can become locked in a circular battle of wills – with yourself.
 
To combat this, try making a list of things you like about yourself. Reinforce your appreciation of your skills, achievements, and successes. Every time you experience self-doubt, remind yourself of every reason you have to believe in yourself and use them to eliminate the self-doubt that is holding you back.
 
2. Seeking constant approval
 
Doing things for the approval of others is another one of the terrible habits we can fall foul of and can mess up your life and mental health significantly. Paying attention to what other people expect from you means side-lining your dreams and wishes. It often results in going down pathways which were never right for you.
 
Remember that you cannot control other people. The only thing you do have control over is yourself. By trying to gauge your actions based on being rewarded with approval is likely to make you second-guess your choices.
 
Even the words you choose can be affected by seeking constant approval! Try to remember that for all the time you are trying to cater to the expectations of people around you, you are forgetting your own. Be clear with yourself about what you want, and then pursue it for all you are worth.
 
3. Being dramatic
 
It is easy to exaggerate from time to time, particularly if you feel frustrated or excited about something! However, this mental habit can mean you lose the respect of your friends who are less likely to take you seriously when something big does happen.
 
Do people tend to roll their eyes when you start telling a story? You probably have one of these mental habits. If you tend to suffer from anxiety or stress when considering the future, you may be focusing on every worst possible scenario, rather then concentrating on the positives.
 
Try using positive mantras to pinpoint your focus on all the possible things that might go right, instead of being dramatic about all the things that could potentially go wrong.
 
The sky isn’t falling and, if you don’t keep expecting it to, it never will.
 
4. Worrying about things outside of your control
 
Worry is one of those mental habits that can be hard to break. Everybody will have genuine things to worry about from time to time, but allowing them to become the norm is a bad mental habit.
 
Suffering from anxiety and overthinking can mess up your life by having a constant negative affect. What other people think is not something you can control, and creating stress around something like this is bad for your mental health and relationships.
 
Try sharpening your attention on those things you can control; your actions, behavior and the language you use to talk with yourself. Once you have a firm grasp of those factors you can influence, the ones you cannot become less of an issue.
 
5. Feeling guilty
 
Another emotion that we all experience now and then, guilt can become a mental habit that is ingrained in your personality. Guilt does not change anything that has happened but allows negative problems and thoughts to weigh heavily on your mind.
 
If you have a good reason to feel guilty, try making amends and apologizing to those you have hurt. Once you have made all the reparations you can, it is time to move on.
6. Keeping score
 
A common and very dangerous one of the common mental habits in the modern age is keeping score. Often this stems from social media and a desire to perform, achieve, and appear to be ‘more’ than other people.
 
Numbers are not indicative of anything other than their size. They also do not grasp qualitative criteria that have no bearing on a score. Being happy is not something that can be reflected in a number, and nor is being at peace with yourself.
 
Let the numbers go – they are not all that important.
 
7. Making yourself responsible for others
 
Making yourself responsible for others is a mental habit that can cause a tide of negativity. When you take responsibility for things that other people do, you create a burden on your shoulders that you cannot influence, since these things are outside of your control.
 
Remember what you are responsible for, and take ownership of that instead.
 
8. Carrying a grudge
 
Forgiveness can be very hard, especially when someone has upset or hurt you. However, carrying a grudge causes you more damage than it does to the other person and does not allow you to move on from the situation.
 
You do not necessarily need to forget, but to forgive is a powerful tool as it allows you to mentally move away from whatever has happened. Forgive someone, even if it is difficult; your subconscious will thank you for it.
 
 
References:
  1. Lifehack.org
  2. Psychology Today

 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 17:20
Sexta-feira, 03 / 01 / 20

How to Stop Complaining All the Time with 4 No-Nonsense Strategies

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 3rd, 2020.

 

 
 
We are all guilty of complaining. Busy schedules, bad weather and stress mount up and cause us to lose sight of the positives around us. Focusing on the negatives, and compounding this by complaining only worsens our mood and outlook. The more we complain, the more problems we perceive. Knowing that it is healthy to have a positive mindset, and knowing how to stop complaining are unfortunately somewhat mutually exclusive!
 
Here are some strategies that can help you to stop complaining, and start living a happier and healthier life:
 
Manage your expectations
 
Often we complain because something hasn’t met with our expectations. We feel inconvenienced and disappointed, and express this through complaining.
 
In order to learn how to stop complaining, we need to rephrase what we expect from a situation to avoid becoming disenchanted with a scenario that we should have been anticipating all along.
Let’s look at an example:
 
You have a meeting. You arrive in good time and wait in reception. Half an hour later, you are still waiting. This is frustrating and you feel unappreciated. Why should you make the effort to make sure you are there in plenty of time, just to be left waiting?
 
Now you are annoyed, and decide to stand up for yourself by complaining. The meeting starts with a negative undertone, and you find it difficult to engage in a positive way. You are left in a bad mood for the remainder of the day, and resent any suggestion that a further meeting might be requested in the future.
How to rephrase:
 
Let’s take a minute here. Could there be a very good reason that you were left waiting? Perhaps there was an emergency situation that had to be dealt with, and unfortunately, impacted your appointment?
 
There are very often times when we are required to wait. This could be in advance of a meeting, prior to an appointment, or even in a queue whilst shopping. Realistically, you could have anticipated the potential that you would have had some time to spare.
 
Rather than letting the situation frustrate you, and damage your perspective for the rest of the day, why not try and prepare for inconveniences?
 
Pack a good book into your bag as a great way to make the most of any spare time that comes your way! Falling behind with replying to emails, or have forgotten to call your parents in a few days? Use this time to catch up on other obligations and put the extra time to positive use and be able to tick something off of your To-Do list!
 
Using a little foresight to prepare for circumstances outside of our control gives us ownership. If you know your commute is likely to be long, download a few great podcasts to make your journey enjoyable. I’d guarantee that you would have a better evening having enjoyed the trip home rather than arriving through the door complaining about the traffic.
 
 
Every second counts; use them wisely!
 
Take time for gratitude
 
In the course of a busy day, there are lots of things which happen which we can express gratitude for. Busy schedules and pressures of life can mean we don’t ever stop to acknowledge them.
 
If you have the unfortunate habit of complaining, taking time to stop and reflect on all those things you are taking for granted is a powerful tool.
 
Try keeping a gratitude journal, where each day you write down one thing that you are grateful for. It could be a message from a loved one. You might be grateful for a sunny day. Perhaps you enjoyed a nice lunch, or are grateful for the clothes you have to wear. Living in a safe and dry home is something most of us are fortunate to experience but forget is not a given for everybody.
 
Once you start to focus on those positive aspects of your day, it helps illuminate your level of thinking to rise above things that might normally cause you to complain.
 
There are many things to be grateful for; it is never a bad day to stop and smell the flowers!
 
Avoid mutual dissatisfaction as a social tool
 
In social interactions, we all try to find common ground. This is a perfect way to strike up a conversation, break the ice, and get to know a little more about somebody.
 
The difficulty is that one of the easiest ways to establish something in common is to find something we both dislike. How many conversations have you experienced that start with complaining about the weather, or about how bad the traffic was today? I’d be willing to bet it is rather a lot.
 
One great way to stop complaining is to position yourself in a place where the negatives are always considered the lowest priority.
 
If you are going somewhere to meet new people, try having a few icebreakers in your back pocket; and make sure none of them are complaints! Here are a few ideas:
  • I really enjoy meeting new people, how about you?
  • May I ask a little more about what brings you here today?
  • These events are always great fun, have you been here before?
  • I’m really looking forward to the weekend with my family; do you have anything planned?
 
Complain in a constructive way
 
Complaining for the sake of expressing yourself is sometimes cathartic. However, it can be more positive and constructive to find a solution for the problem at hand.
 
If you are feeling frustrated and really need to vent, thinking about what actions you can take to avoid such a complaint recurring is a useful way both to take control of the situation and to find a positive solution.
 
Here are some thought process adjustments you can make:
 
Complaint: I’m so annoyed I can’t believe I didn’t get there on time!
 
Constructive complaint: I am frustrated with myself to have been running late. Next time I will set myself an alarm to leave 15 minutes earlier to allow for the traffic, which I know is usually bad this time of day.
 
Complaint: I won’t be coming here again; the service is far too slow!
 
Constructive complaint: I was disappointed with the service and will let my server know. I will ask if there is a reason that service today is not at the usual standard and will listen to the answer I receive.
 
Complaint: This queue is ridiculously long; I’ve wasted so much time!
 
Constructive complaint: Next time I need to visit this store, I will come at a quieter time of day to avoid the long queues.
 
 
References:
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com
 
 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
Free counters!

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publicado por achama às 07:51
Quinta-feira, 02 / 01 / 20

5 Negative Thought Patterns and How to Challenge Them

By Valerie Soleil.

learning-mind.com.

Posted January 1st, 2020. 

 

 

 
They say that happiness is a state of mind – but what if your mind is your own worst enemy? Sometimes it can feel like our own brain is turning against us, assailing us with negative thought patterns that impede us from living a full and fulfilling life.
 
What Are Negative Thought Patterns?
 
These are thoughts and emotional reactions that feel almost automatic, as though your mind were drip-feeding your brain negative information. It can seem like you have no control over your own thoughts. Or like a leaky tap, which you can’t shut off, is continuously dripping negativity into your brain. This negativity that continually filters into your self-identity is hard to fight if you don’t have the right tools.
 
However, there are ways to train your mind out of these automatic negative thought patterns. Rebuilding your relationship with your own mind can empower you to own your worth and your power, helping you to manifest the life that you actually deserve.
 
But how? Below are five negative thought patterns, and the weapons you can arm yourself with to challenge them.
 
1. ‘I can’t’ or ‘I’m not good enough’
 
You always expect yourself to fail, whether it’s something new you’re trying or a task you’ve accomplished time and time again. As soon as you intend to start something, from an academic assignment to a new sport or a new project, your thought pattern tap drips into your brain.
 
It reminds you that you are useless, incompetent and generally incapable. Any motivation you once had is a thing of the past. You begin to feel deflated and unable to face the task.
 
This negative thought pattern is also connected with Imposter Syndrome, wherein you believe you’re incapable of performing the job others think you’re good at.
 
Challenge:
 
Fix this leak by reminding yourself of everything you HAVE accomplished. Grab a piece of paper and divide it into three sections. They each represent three phases of your life up to this point; you can label them as you wish.
 
In each section, list ALL of the things you accomplished during that phase in your life. Anything from cooking your first meal, doing well in school or sports, finishing a book, overcoming hardship, being a good friend, getting a job, decorating your room or house, picking up a new skill.
 
Next, condense this list into a new list of those things which made you feel most accomplished.
 
 
When this negative thought pattern comes back to haunt you, challenge it by re-reading both of these lists and re-living the feeling of accomplishment that accompanied each activity. This engages the rational part of your brain, presenting evidence that undermines your automatic thoughts.
 
Extra: keep a daily or weekly Accomplishment Journal in which you write a list of your accomplishments.
 
2. ‘Something terrible is going to happen’ or ‘Nothing good ever happens to me’ (Catastrophic Thinking)
 
You’re continually convinced something awful is going to happen to you, and that only terrible events take place in your life. It’s one of those negative thought patterns that are a tough nut to crack because, in many ways, it’s self-reinforcing. The more you let it control you, the more blinkered your perspective on life becomes.
 
You eventually notice, focus on and remember only the negative things that happen to you. You’ll obsess over all the instances when someone let you down; you had problems at work, didn’t succeed or failed to meet your goals. Even the small things like choosing the longest line at checkout or getting stopped at all the traffic lights will add to this negative picture of your life.
 
Your mind will gloss over, ignore and forget all the positive things. The times when there wasn’t a queue, when you hit all the green lights, when your hopes and expectations were exceeded, someone showed up for you, or you succeeded and met your goals.
Challenge:
 
Plug this leak by writing two lists. One list of everything in your life you are grateful for, that was entirely out of your control. That time the weather was perfect on your day off, or when you took a wrong turn and ended up somewhere beautiful, or a chance meeting that led to something wonderful.
 
Write another list of everything you are grateful for that was under your control (graduating, fitness, travelling, making connections).
 
 
Whenever this negative thought pattern overwhelms you with pessimism about your life, re-read your lists of gratitude. Remind yourself of everything you have been given, and everything you have provided for yourself. Using this evidence, challenge the notion that only bad things happen with concrete proof of every time something beautiful happened!
 
Extra: keep a daily or weekly Gratitude Journal in which you record all the good that is happening around you.
 
3. ‘I’m a burden on my loved ones’ and ‘No one actually loves me’
 
You feel that everyone in your life merely puts up with you. You have nothing to offer them – in fact, you’re probably burdensome and irritating to them. They hang out with you because they pity you, not because they actually like or love you.
 
This negative thought pattern can extend from colleagues and acquaintances to friends and family, Generally, it drips in whenever you feel a surge of affection for someone or feel very alone. It convinces you that you are unlovable and that others would be better off without you.
 
Challenge:
 
Sort out this leaky tap by writing three lists. One list of times people have been grateful to you, a list of what others have done for you, and compliments or good wishes you’ve received. It might take some digging, as your mind will resist the notion that any of the above actually happens. Sit through the struggle and write down anything you think of before your ego jumps in. Once you’ve written something down, don’t erase it!
 
Every time this negative thought pattern jumps the queue, challenge it by looking at this list and reminding yourself that you do bring positivity to the lives of those around you. The fact that they care about you is translated into gratefulness, actions on your behalf and positive sentiments regarding you.
 
This negative way of thinking prevents you from fully receiving the love, and gratitude others offer you. By challenging this negative thought pattern with evidence of the esteem and love that others have for you, you show yourself the truth: you are loved and valued.
 
 
Extra: keep a daily or weekly Receiving Journal in which you list all the gratefulness, compliments, positive sentiments and acts of service others offer you.
 
4. ‘The world wants to hurt me’ and ‘It’s not safe for me out there’
 
We are biologically programmed to pay close attention to the negative parts of our life since our survival is dependant on our emotional and physical wellbeing. However, a mind in the constant grip of fear detects threats quickly and everywhere, without necessarily differentiating between real or imaginary threats.
 
A speciality of the human brain is also to think in terms of emotional risks and emotional safety. While we may not be imminently eaten or killed, our brain perceives that certain people or circumstances are emotionally unsafe.
 
Those of us who struggle with anxiety have a mind that has become hardwired to recognise physical and emotional perils everywhere, which trigger a fight or flight response. This generally leads to feelings of victimisation and a desire to isolate ourselves from this unsafe world to avoid its many threats.
Challenge:
 
This negative thought pattern requires a two-fold response. Physically, we need to turn off the fight-or-flight response by re-centring our breathing. Make sure you’re breathing through your stomach, not your chest, and spend 2-5 minutes inhaling and exhaling deeply.
 
Using mindfulness, you can also centre your mind so it’s not panicking wildly about future threats. Still focussing on your breathing, list five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can smell and two things you can feel.
 
 
Emotionally, we need to to show our mind the evidence that the perceived threat is imaginary or not as significant is it thinks. The first step is to identify the source of our fear: what is making me feel unsafe?
 
Secondly, we can dismantle it, as objectively and compassionately as possible, to reveal the truth: it’s nothing more than we can handle. Write a list of every time you have previously faced this threat or something similar. This will challenge your mind to rationalise its reaction to the perceived menace.
 
If you are regularly overcome with a generalised fear of everything, the essential step is mindful breathing. Recall your mind to the present situation in which you are safe. Once your body is under your control, it’s easier to re-negotiate a positive thought loop with your mind.
 
5. ‘I don’t deserve anything (good)’ and ‘I’m ugly on the inside’
 
This is another tough one. Whenever something good happens to you, be it a promotion, winning a competition or requited love, your leaky thought pattern tap kicks off again. It persuades you that the good things coming your way are more than you deserve and if the world truly knew you, it would give you nothing.
 
Patterns like this one are the pillars of the negative thought process cycle. It robs you of your very right to own your worth, power and talent and receive the love that comes your way. It’s also linked to Imposter Syndrome, in that it convinces you that you are underserving of your place in the world. Everything good that comes your way must be based on an illusion.
Challenge:
 
Whenever this negative thought pattern drips in, write down what it is you are undeserving of. Then, force yourself to write down at least three reasons why you DO deserve it. This might feel forced, dishonest and borderline arrogant.
 
 
However, if you can write down at least three and then read them out loud to yourself until they feel natural, the whole process will become more comfortable. You’ll eventually come to believe yourself when you tell yourself why you deserve good things.
 
 
References:
  1. Dr. Mathieson, A., Clinical Psychologist, personal conversation
  2. Stanny, B., Sacred Success: A Course in Financial Miracles (2014)
  3. https://psychcentral.com


Valerie Soleil


 



 
About the Author: Valerie Soleil


Valerie Soleil is a writer with over 5 years of experience and holds a bachelor degree in law and a B.A. in Psychology. She is a physical & mental health enthusiast who constantly expands her knowledge about the mysteries of the human body and mind. Some of the activities Valerie is particularly passionate about are traveling and reading because they help her broaden her horizons.
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 

Archives:
 



 
A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com


 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 



 

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publicado por achama às 07:16
Sexta-feira, 08 / 11 / 19

5 Types of Ruminating Thoughts and How to Deal with Them

By Sherrie Hurd

learning-mind.com

on November 8th, 2019.

 
ruminating thoughts.


 
 
Ruminating thoughts are different than just sorting through problems to find a solution. Rumination is not a healthy option.
 
Yes, I fall into ruminating and negative thoughts all the time. When you struggle with mental illness, it’s easy to do this sometimes.
 
 
Unfortunately, rumination is not a healthy thing to do. When you sit around and run scenarios through your head over and over, you never really come to a viable solution. And if you do reach a solution, it’s been built off more worry than logic.
 
Are ruminating thoughts our brain’s fault?
 
The thing is, ruminating on things and having worrying thoughts are fueled a great deal by the memory. We may remember how something went wrong in the past, recognize an approaching similar situation, and start to ruminate about how we’re going to deal with the issue.
 
This rumination, most times, upsets us. If the past situation was negative, then stress will set in and make us think even more about the near future. In a way, imprints on our brains do have an impact on how we ruminate about things right now. But the good news is we can learn how to deal with them.
 
A few types of ruminating thoughts:
 
1. Thinking too much and too hard
 
Sometimes rumination comes in the form of unorganized thought. You can start with one thought which leads to another and so on. Most of the time, you’re thinking about chores or errands which must be completed. Unfortunately, instead of things getting done, you sit for hours thinking about it.
 
How can we deal with this?
 
For heaven’s sake, just put on those brakes. Think about one thing at a time, do what you need to do, and then think about the next project. Meditation usually helps with organizing thoughts and changing ruminations that cause mind traffic jams. If you’re not familiar with meditation, now’s the time.
 
2. Making assumptions
 
Some ruminating thoughts are born from making assumptions about things that could be going on. For instance, just because you think someone is ignoring you, say they haven’t called in a while, doesn’t mean it’s true. And just because a friend answered in an angry tone doesn’t mean they’re angry with you.
 
After things like this happen, we often ruminate about our friends and acquaintances, and we wonder if something we’ve done is the problem. Thus, we make assumptions that may not even be true. We can make ourselves depressed for no reason at all.
 
How can we deal with this?
 
Well, the best way to deal with these sorts of thoughts is to keep in mind that you are not the center of the universe. Not everything going on is about you. Sorry to break it to you like that, but it’s true.
 
Your friends could be dealing with serious issues or having fights with other people, so be calm and just give it some time. Your assumption could be wrong.
 
3. Thoughts of expectations
 
Before you go out with your head held high, or with your head hanging low, think about how you’re using expectations. Ruminating and certain thought patterns cause unreal expectations to form.
 
Say you need a loan, and you believe you’re qualified, well, don’t go running to the bank thinking you got this loan in the bag. I made this mistake a few weeks ago. My credit was good and I had high expectations on the outcome. Unfortunately, I was turned down anyway.
 
The same goes for people. You shouldn’t sit around and ruminate on the high expectations you have for your wife or girlfriend. They might just let you down, and that will be depressing.
 
How can we deal with this?
 
Never put anyone or anything on a pedestal, and they won’t fall down. It’s as simple as that. Don’t think of your bank as “your buddy” just because you’ve lived in town for 20 years. If you aren’t qualified for a loan, you’re just not qualified.
 
As for people, no one is perfect, stop trying to create perfect boyfriends and friends. Find someone you can deal with or just lower your expectations. They’re probably way too high anyway.
 
4. Sitting around focusing on the negative
 
Many positive and negative things happen every day. But isn’t it strange how we focus so much more on the negative? A person can complete 15 positive tasks in one day and have two negative setbacks. Even though the positives outweigh the negative, the ruminating thoughts will focus on those two negative situations.
 
Many people sit around and think about one or two bad things that happened during their day, and then proclaim the day as a failure. How do you think the dread of Mondays began?
 
How can we deal with this?
 
It’s really hard to focus on positive things when you’ve been trained or raised to think negatively most of the time. There are people who just always think of the glass half empty and not half full.
 
If you’re one of those people, practice considering that the best will come out of a day instead of the worst, and celebrate those two positive things instead of giving so much time to the bad.
 
5. Knowing the future
 
Another type of ruminating that can take over your thoughts is thinking you know the future. Have you ever just sat by yourself and thought about how bad an event was going to be?
 
For some reason, someone you don’t like was going to be there, or last year’s event bombed, you know, something of the sort. Well, you’ve decided you’re a bonafide psychic, and you can read the future.
 
Ruminating is just torturing yourself with your “abilities”. Now, the truth is, no one knows the future, even if the same thing has happened for 50 years straight. Guess what, a change could occur in the 51st year. Now, that’s a fact.
 
How can we deal with this?
 
Just stop! You don’t know what will happen tomorrow and neither do I. So what, last years event was horrible. That doesn’t mean that this year won’t be the year that things go much better. You don’t know what will happen and you don’t know what people are going to do. Despite the past, the future has its own choice.
 
Challenging your way of thinking
 
Let me tell you, losing those ruminating thoughts is like starting your life all over from childhood. You have to retrain the way you think. It’s about your mindset.
 
 
It takes time to make such a large turnaround, but it can be done. Little by little your thoughts will start to take on a different form, and you won’t even believe what your own mind is thinking.
 
Am I in the process of working on this too? Why yes I am. Most of the things I write about are things I suffer from as well. No better example to help you get better and realize you’re not alone.
 
References:

 
 
Sherrie Hurd.

 

 





 

About the Author: Sherrie Hurd


Sherrie Hurd is a professional writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She is an advocate for mental health awareness and nutrition. Sherrie studied Psychology, Journalism, and Fine Arts, receiving an Associates in Marketing. She has written for Beacon, a southern college publication, and is an author of a full-length non-fiction novel. Sherrie spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 

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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 



 

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publicado por achama às 23:01
Quarta-feira, 30 / 10 / 19

What Is Overgeneralization? How It’s Impairing Your Judgment and How to Stop It

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

October 29, 2019.



 
Overgeneralization is a common way of thinking which is rarely referred to by its real name but is done by almost everyone. Most of us do it at least a little. But some of us allow ourselves to dive so deep into overgeneralizing almost everything that our mental health is at stake. We do this every time we jump to the conclusion that one bad thing equals only bad things in future.
 
Overgeneralization is a kind of cognitive distortion. If you overgeneralize, this means you tend to assume one event is representative of something in its entirety. It is similar to catastrophizing.
 
Examples of Overgeneralization
 
For example, if a person once sees a dog being loud and aggressive, they might assume that all dogs are equally as dangerous and decides to avoid them all. In this scenario, the person is overgeneralizing what dogs are really like. This is how most fears are developed – from overgeneralizing after one difficult experience.
 
Dating and your romantic life are often victims of your overgeneralizing thoughts. If you go on one date with a man and he turns out to be an awful and rude person, you might overgeneralize and conclude that all men are just as terrible. As a result, you will struggle to let anyone close to you again.
 
By jumping so such huge, dramatic conclusions, you could be damaging all your future prospects in a whole variety of ways, from romance to your career, friends and even your family. If you convince yourself that “all” of something is bad or wrong, you’ll be cutting off huge chunks of your life.
 
Overgeneralization can be simple in day to day life and not too disruptive though. For example, when you assume that because you once disliked a mushroom-based meal, you’ll never like anything mushroom related at all.
 
These sorts of things aren’t too problematic and tend to create the simple biases we have which dictate our likes and dislikes. However, certain situations can’t afford to be overgeneralized. That’s because they have such a profound effect on your mental health, especially anxiety and depression.
 
Overgeneralizing Yourself
 
If you suffer from low self-esteem, you’re probably upsettingly familiar with overgeneralization. Many of us have moments where we assume far too quickly and let small occurrences affect our overall perceptions. But some people struggle with overgeneralization on a far more personal level and with much more serious consequences on our wellbeing.
 
By jumping to conclusions about ourselves, we tend to limit our potential. Wed reduce our chances of a full, happy life. Overgeneralizing impairs your judgment and your view of the world around you. Is it familiar to you to hear these words from your inner critic? “I always fail” or “I’ll never be able to do that”. If it is, you’re probably suffering from the effects of low self-esteem as a result of overgeneralization.
 
If you’ve tried at something and failed, you’re more likely to be worried about trying again. But there’s a difference between being worried and being certain you simply can’t do it.
 
Failure is normal and even necessary in the pursuit of a dream. But by overgeneralizing, you might allow yourself to think that you’re always going to fail at anything you try in future.
 
This kind of impaired judgment isn’t fair on yourself. And you owe it to yourself to work on stopping this way of thinking. One failure means nothing in the grand scheme of things. One rejection, one slip-up, even many of them, they don’t mean a thing!
 
How to Stop Overgeneralization
 
As you have seen, overgeneralizing can be so damaging to your mental health and your life as a whole. So it’s clearly very important that we work out how to stop this and get ahead of it before it harms your future too much.
 
Remember that nothing is absolute
 
The single most important thing you can do for yourself when you struggle with overgeneralization is to constantly remind yourself that every experience is unique, and nothing is guaranteed by the past.
 
Even J.K Rowling was rejected numerous times before Harry Potter was finally accepted and published. She knew that “some” didn’t mean “all” – and we all know how well that worked out for her. Just because you did one thing wrong, or even a number of things wrong, there’s no reason to believe things will always be that way. You can learn, you can grow, your luck can change.
 
Watch how you talk to yourself
 
To stop overgeneralizing, you also ought to take more notice of the words you use towards yourself. When using negative self-talk, we tend to make huge sweeping statements which are never true. We say things like “I’ll never be good at this”, “I’ll always be a loser”, “Everybody thinks I’m a loser”. And none of those would be true on a small scale, and definitely aren’t true on a large scale.
 
Consider the phrase “Nobody will ever love me”. Most of us have said this line in our darker moments. But this statement excludes the friends and family we have, who do love us. This happens because we’re hyper-focused on what romantic love we don’t have. These sweeping statements are incorrect and take one small thought and apply it to our entire life.
 
This is terrible for our mental health and should be stopped. Try to avoid using words like never, always, everyone and nobody. These words allow you to apply a giant overgeneralization to a small experience. And this will inevitably impair your judgment of yourself and the world around you.
 
Nothing is that widespread and nothing is that final. When you give yourself a chance to see life that way, you’ll feel much better in yourself.
 
Optimism is key
 
Be open to the idea that not everything is all bad. Overgeneralization tends to be used for negative thoughts, allowing yourself to make those bad feelings even worse. Be optimistic that things can and will change and that the past does not dictate your future.
 
Becky Storey
 
 

 

About the Author: Becky Storey


 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 16:43
Sexta-feira, 05 / 07 / 19

Eckhart Tolle Meditation and 9 Life Lessons You Can Learn from It ~ Sherrie.

Eckhart Tolle Meditation and 9 Life Lessons You Can Learn from It.

By Sherrie.

July 1st, 2019

 
 
 
To practice Eckhart Tolle meditation is to allow yourself to be in the present moment. You can grow from this process.
Despite what you may see on the outside, many people suffer from turmoil. Daily lives present new obstacles and heartaches that unfortunately leave impressions and create negative thoughts.
I think I am personally traveling through a mindset like this now. However, in learning about meditation, I feel hope for my situations. Let’s learn more about this process.

Meditation by Eckhart Tolle

Meditation in itself is a powerful tool, as taught by Eckhart Tolle. It’s designed to teach us to silence the mind. Eckhart Tolle, the spiritual leader, helps us realize a slightly different form of meditation – a level of attaining pure consciousness or letting go of the separate ego identity.
As with mindfulness, meditation focuses on you and your surroundings existing in the ‘now’. It doesn’t dwell on or process the multitude of negative thoughts which pass through your mind on a daily basis. Its purpose is to heal us by helping us realize we are one consciousness. Only then can we tame what’s called the ‘ego’.

So, what else can we learn from this meditation?
 
 

1. Learn to let go
 
I’m starting with the past because, before we can move on to other wisdom, we must let go of what has been. The past is not an evil place, but it can hold us captive from time to time.
 
Regret can elevate negative thoughts and literally make us sick. Eckhart Tolle helps us let go of the past with meditation and still honor what we’ve been through. We must let go.
2. Being true to yourself
Meditation helps you recognize your self-worth. It also makes you want to be an authentic person. In a world where so many people wear masks, it’s refreshing to see real people. It’s also a pleasure to be around them.
Being yourself and true to who you make being around other people easier as well. Being real removes the image of you that others have, and also the image that you have created over time.

3. What you give is what you get

Another thing you can learn from Eckhart Tolle and his views on meditation is that whatever you send out, be it negative thoughts, words, or actions, will always come back to you.
There are many ways, in most beliefs that this wisdom is taught. It’s true. You do reap what you sow. If you want good things to come your way, you must project positivity.

4. There is no purpose to worrying

Worry is one of the most destructive thoughts and action. But if you think logically about it, worry does nothing. It is pretty much useless.
No matter how much you worry, you cannot change what is destined to come. You can learn to let go of worry by practicing meditation regularly.

5. The present moment is the most important

If you think about it, the present is the only real thing in life. The past is gone and the future is only anticipation for what’s to come, or what you hope will come.
Hence, you can say, the future and past don’t really exist. Whenever you dwell on time, your here and now is neglected, wasted. You learn to appreciate the present time with the Eckhart Tolle practice of meditation.

6. Remove the importance of objects

I bet you never paid attention to how attached you are to certain objects. Electronics, clothing, and jewelry are addictive. These are extensions of our ego self, separate and selfish. Using meditation, you can learn to let go of the unhealthy attachments you have to material things.

7. Change of mindset

Without meditation, negative thinking can run wild. Eckhart Tolle suggests that using meditation can gradually change your thoughts from negative to positive.
Of course, if you’re dwelling in all things negative, it will take time to shift these feelings. We, as humans, have formed cycles of thinking. We may linger on one side or the other, but we always fall back into the thinking we’ve trained ourselves to use. Have hope because we can learn to shift our mindset.

8. Accept your situation

Some of us may be in difficult situations, and we’re fighting against these problems as hard as we can. But to fight against the present issue is to fight against life. Present life will be as it is, and you have two choices, either accept it or walk away from it.
Now, acceptance doesn’t mean you cannot speak how you feel about the situation, but complaining is something different altogether. You become a victim when you fight against the problem, but you gain power by simply speaking out, calmly and without elaboration.

9. Letting go of control

Unfortunately, many people fall into a habit of controlling others. In many relationships, controlling behavior moves from one person to the other. It sometimes becomes a power play.
In all honesty, control is a weakness, unless it’s self-control. When trying to control every situation, you never experience those positive things that come with change and freedom. Eckhart Tolle teaches us that with meditation, you can learn to let go of control.

The wisdom of Eckhart Tolle

Eckhart Tolle teaches us that we can form too many material mindsets instead of just being. The world is in a rush, all the time. If only we can still our minds and focus on what’s right in front of us, we could completely change our mindset. If we can understand how our separate self is a fictional construct, we can embrace our pure consciousness.
I will leave you with an inspiring quote from Eckhart Tolle.
“On a deeper level, you are already complete. When you realize that, there is a joyous energy behind what you do.”
References:
  1. https://www.elephantjournal.com
  2. https://hackspirit.com
 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 
 

 
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


More @ http://violetflame.biz.ly and 
https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/




 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 20:52
Segunda-feira, 24 / 06 / 19

How to Overcome Inferiority Complex with 7 Methods That Work ~ Sherrie.

How to Overcome Inferiority Complex with 7 Methods That Work.

By Sherrie.

June 23rd, 2019

 

Confidence equals good mental health, and that’s why learning to overcome the inferiority complex is so important.
Having an inferiority complex means you never really feel good about yourself. In fact, most other people in your life seem greater, more intelligent or more talented. Others may also seem beautiful as opposed to your ugliness.
Do these descriptions ring a bell? Well, learning to overcome the inferiority complex is the key to a better life. No one should feel less than anyone else.

Methods to help you change your mindset and overcome inferiority complex

 
Understanding how to overcome the feelings associated with inferiority complex should be your focus. In order to change your mindset, you have to know exactly what you’re facing.
The inferiority complex is not just feeling bad about yourself temporarily, it’s a feeling that persists from day to day – they’re negative feelings you’ve accepted about yourself.

There are methods, however, that help you get rid of these feelings over time:

1. Pinpoint one source

The truth is, you may feel inferior to many people. That’s the horrible nature of the inferiority complex. The good news is, you can focus on one person to help you pinpoint where your weaknesses are. For instance, choose a so-called “superior person”, and ask yourself one question: “Why do I feel inferior to this person?”
Analyzing the one person you picked will help you build levels of confidence. Say you feel that the person is more attractive than you, more intelligent, and more sociable. Well, you can start by finding one thing you can do that they cannot.
There are things, trust me, because no one is perfect. In fact, there may be many things you can do better, but you’ve just focused on your inferior state as opposed to their seemingly perfected one. Do you see? Try this one out as soon as possible. You may be surprised.

2. Positive self-talk

Most of the time, we can learn a great deal about how to get over feeling inferior just by talking good to ourselves. Be honest, how many times have you said, “I’m ugly”“I’m not good enough”, or “I wish I was more like someone else?” Well, I’m sure we’ve all fallen prey to these thoughts from time to time.
The key here is to practice countering these negative thoughts with positive ones. For each negative talk we have with ourselves, we should strive to have two positive ones.
Over time, you will notice a great change in your confidence level. And if someone happens to insult you, you will be armed and ready to defend your self-esteem.

3. Find the root

Of course, if you want to know how to destroy the inferiority complex, you must remember where it came from. Maybe you have no idea how the negative self-talk and feelings even surfaced. Well, if you experienced rejection or trauma in your early life, inferiority feelings may be deep-rooted and will have to be pulled out and examined.
You can start analyzing yourself or you can seek professional help in this area. Some roots, I must admit, travel deep within your mind.
Some of these roots go far and some are large, meaning they encompass multiple issues, situations and people from your past. This is where untangling roots also come into play. To heal your confidence, you must discover these roots.

4. Gravitate toward positive people

Another way to overcome feelings of inferiority is to surround yourself with as many positive people as possible. Being around positive people remind you of how you’re supposed to treat yourself. They remind you of your worth and talents.
If you’ve noticed, positive people usually don’t criticize others. Instead, they may lovingly point out ways to improve. On the other hand, negative people will always have a way to bring you and themselves down simultaneously.
It’s obvious what you should do in this case. Stay as far away from toxic behavior or negative people as possible.

5. Good mantras and proclamations

Not only should you talk good to yourself, but you should also proclaim your good points. When you feel inferior, speak a positive mantra about yourself.
For instance,  you may say, “I am talented”, and “I am kind”. This helps build you up by speaking your worth out loud. Whether you are spiritual or not, I’m telling you, the spoken word is a powerful thing. It truly is capable of turning things around for the better.

6. Always be yourself

If you’ve fallen victim to idolization, which we all do to a certain extent, then you should step back a moment. Immediately, stop all attempts to be like someone else, right now. After you feel clean of everyone else’s influence, fill yourself with yourself.
That’s right, embrace who you are, and examine all your good points. I bet, you have so much to be thankful for, and so many hidden talents. This simple move can boost your ability to overcome inferiority and other negative complexes.

7. Stop comparisons

That brings me to another toxic and heinous act we fall victim to – comparisons. It’s so easy to feel inferior when we compare ourselves with others. We should never ever do that.
So, for this last method, let’s practice working to better ourselves apart from anyone else. Yes, appreciate others and their talents, but never let those things decide who you should be. End comparisons now.

We can all feel better about ourselves

Learning how to overcome inferiority complex is no easy task, I will not lie. However, being able to accomplish this task allows you to open up to a multitude of possibilities in your life. The ability to be confident is a power that so few actually hold. In fact, the inferiority complex inhabits most of us on some level.
Regardless, we should try every day, to love and appreciate ourselves. We are the only one like us on the face of this earth. We have a mixture of unique talents and characteristics that the world surely needs.
I’m going to say you’re beautiful, talented, and worthy, to help you jump start your journey on defeating the inferiority complex, and also just in case no one else has told you lately.
Be well.
 
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au
 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 



About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 

Archives:

 

 



Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.

 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


More @ http://violetflame.biz.ly and 
https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/




 

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publicado por achama às 04:44
Domingo, 05 / 05 / 19

Feeling Inadequate? 7 Strategies to Silence Your Inner Critic ~ Sherrie.

Feeling Inadequate? 

7 Strategies to Silence Your Inner Critic.

By Sherrie.

May 4th, 2019


 

It’s easy to criticize yourself, especially when others criticize you too. Feeling inadequate is hard when rebuilding your self-esteem.
At least one point in our lives. We’ve felt inadequate. You know that voice, the one that says, “You’re not good enough”, “You’ll never find true love”, yeah, that voice.
Well, the truth is, its been around since your childhood. I bet you didn’t know that. Feeling inadequate came from some instance, most likely in childhood, where someone made you feel unloved or unwanted. Now, you feel the same way when dealing with your insecurities.
“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
-William Shakespeare

Dealing with the critic within

There’s a person within you that tells you the lies about your person. They aren’t nice, and they pull no punch when it comes to reminding you about your short-comings. Do you wish to silence this voice?

Well, there are some ways to deal with this critic within and stop feeling horribly inadequate. Then you can really live your life.

1. Roots, roots, roots…

So, as I mentioned earlier, your inner critic comes from some long-ago insult or abuse. It’s true.
Say, your parents told you, “You’ll never be worth anything unless you act like your cousin, Martha”. Yeah, that was an actual statement my mother said to me. I started feeling the sting of being inadequate almost instantly.
Maybe she watched my cousin get awards in school or maybe heard stories of her achievements, But it made me feel like a failure. Now, I do struggle with inadequacies, and it takes strength to fight.
Hey, look at your roots, then you will know it wasn’t you, but the one who insulted you. Maybe they felt inadequate by the way they raised you. Ever think about that?

2. Awareness is key

When you start feeling emotions of being inadequate, stop and realize one important thing. These are only thoughts. They do not rule your life, and you know that you’re better than what you give yourself credit for.
Question these thoughts and then attempt to turn them around as they come. Be aware of what passes through your mind, and filter it accordingly.

3. See the inner critic as a challenge

Understand, these feelings that you are inadequate will never truly go away forever. I know, that’s not such a positive idea, huh. But, all is not lost. You can think about it this way: You can use your inner critic to build yourself up.
When you think you’re lazy or someone has made this comment, use this to start moving, get in shape, and even improve your health. While insults about your laziness or weight gain are not nice, you can use them as a tool to better yourself.
Just try it and see how great it actually works.

4. Contradict the inner critic

Here’s an interesting way to combat the inner negative voice. For example, your inner voice says, “You’re ugly”. Now, that’s a statement many of us have heard in our lives at some point. Well, you can take this statement and word it in a way that says positive things about you.
Instead of saying, “Yes, I am ugly”, you can say, “ I may not be the most beautiful person in the world, but I am still beautiful”. This statement helps build you up and stand strong against those who make you feel bad about yourself.

5. Ask for help

Feeling that you’re inadequate can get overwhelming and sometimes make you want to give up. Don’t ever give up. In fact, start practicing self-care which will, in time, start to build better self-esteem.
If you have to, take pictures of your accomplishments or write in a journal about what you’ve done lately. Don’t ask others for help, ask yourself for help in order to feel good about yourself again.
You might be surprised by all the good qualities that remind you of your self-worth.

6. The inner critic lies

Did you know that the critic within will tell you lies? You cannot always count on the words that come from inside. If you’ve made a to-do list, but yet you aren’t able to get all those things done, your inner critic will jump right in with insults about your inadequacy.
Do not fall for these lies. Instead, tell yourself, “No, I did not finish today, but I am further than I was yesterday”. The truth is, this is just fine, and your inner critic can go get a life, so to speak.

7. Don’t be a slave to your inner critic

When feeling those inadequacies, do not become a slave to them. Just because your inner critic says you should do something better, this doesn’t mean you should act upon these words.
If your inner negativities tell you to get something done faster, take pause. Maybe it would be better to take your time and get the job done right. You can learn to do what YOU want and not listen to the monster that pushes you from inside.

The inner critic and your feeling of being inadequate

Never start feeling like you are inadequate just because that voice within tells you so.
Trust the true you, the one who makes you feel good about yourself. Yes, listen to this voice instead. This voice will make your stronger and quiet those negative thoughts that have tricked you into thinking you must be better than you are.
Remember, you are good enough just the way you are. Your improvements come by hard work and determination, but they also come by taking a break once in a while and recharging your energies. Just do your best and that will be enough.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://psychcentral.com
 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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publicado por achama às 22:56
Segunda-feira, 15 / 04 / 19

How to Deal with Obsessive Thoughts When You Have Depression or Anxiety ~ Valerie.

How to Deal with Obsessive Thoughts When You Have Depression or Anxiety.

By Valerie.

learning-mind.com

April 10, 2019. 

 


 

Obsessive thoughts and painful feelings are the curses of depression. One of the most agonizing effects this affliction brings with it is intrusive and unwanted thoughts.
If you are one of the people who suffer from both anxiety and depression, day-to-day life can feel burdensome because of compulsive thoughts. Unwanted intrusive thoughts can cause a great deal of distress. They seem to arise out of nowhere and cause a ton of anxiety.
The content of these unwanted thoughts often focuses on violent or socially unacceptable ideas. People who experience these thoughts are, more often than not, afraid that they would commit the acts they picture in their minds. They also feel that these kinds of thoughts signify something negative and unpleasant about them.
Unwanted thoughts can be very explicit, often making sufferers feel ashamed to admit their presence. This article will help you understand the right approach towards these obsessive thoughts. It will hopefully give you some tips that you can put into practice to deal with them.

Understanding What Obsessive Thoughts Are

Obsessive thinking is a chain of thoughts that are undesirable and invasive for the person. They are typically paired with negative emotions and judgments. More often than not, sufferers experience an inability to exercise any control over these persistent, upsetting thoughts.
The severity of emotions and distraction can range from mild but troublesome, to all-consuming and crippling. These intrusive thoughts can be harsh self-judgments or more serious contemplations such as physically hurting yourself or a loved one.
Obsessive thoughts can affect both your day-to-day functioning and emotional state. When unwanted thoughts first enter our mind, our instinctive reaction is some degree of discomfort, followed by desperate attempts to get rid of the nagging images.
This reaction is completely natural and illustrates the simple human nature: when something is distressing, we avoid it. But obsessive thinking is a different monstrosity altogether that requires conditioned thoughts and the right attitude to handle it.
Even when we try our best to put obsessive thoughts aside, the brain keeps reminding us about the unwanted images and we can’t seem to get rid of them. It is the same fundamental principle – when we are told not to think of something specific, our mind’s response is to do just that.
The secret is being able to understand that thoughts are just fleeting mental images that have no importance by themselves. They cannot impact our lives in any way unless we choose to give them power and influence.

Recognize the Pattern

To stop obsessive thoughts from hounding you, the first step is identifying the thoughts as intrusive. If you’ve had any experience with obsessive thinking at all, you know that this is easier said than done.
We must be able to recognize the recurring patterns in our thoughts. This way, we can have some semblance of control over them. It is quite similar to checking social media or biting nails or tapping feet – it happens unconsciously. If you ever catch yourself caught in this cognitive loop, remind yourself to stop and take a deep breath to come back to the present moment.
Here on out, you can try pinpointing the obsessive thoughts and perhaps writing them down. You can work towards analyzing these thoughts and their patterns to understand what triggers them. This simple activity can help you gauge how you are currently responding to the distressing thoughts.
Once you are focused and can scrutinize your thoughts effectively, try identifying the basic cause of this session of obsessive thoughts in particular. This will guide you towards gaining some perspective.
Seeing the cause of your worries written down in ink might encourage you to see the bigger picture and “get out of your head”. Often we tend to develop harassing thoughts that trap us like a vicious cycle. Actively looking for a way out of this spiral is definitely one of the primary measures you should take.

Accept That Obsessive Thoughts are Predominantly Out of Your Control

overthinking
The next step to overcoming and conquering obsessive thinking is acceptance. Bear in mind that thoughts are nothing more than a set of neurons firing in the brain. They don’t necessarily mean or indicate anything.

Think of your obsessive thoughts as clouds in the sky.

Most of them just come and go. Some of them may carry something substantial and beneficial like rain. But other times, they may just bump around and create storms. But know that through everything, there is a clear blue sky above it all. There is peace and tranquillity right beyond the cloud cover. All you need to do is wait for the dark clouds to subside. This is when you will have clarity and confidence once again.
If we make frantic attempts to escape or suppress these thoughts, it inadvertently leads to the same thoughts being amplified and strengthened. Acceptance, rather than control, is what you should aim for.
It is important to mention here that acceptance does not mean giving up. Only when you let the thought process run its course, and not be heavily impacted by the presence of these thoughts, can you begin to experience comfort in your own mind.
A certain sense of detachment and the understanding that ‘You are not your thoughts’ can go a long way in your battle against depression or anxiety.

Think of the ‘Why Worry’ flowchart when you feel anxious about a particular task or situation. It goes something like this:

If you have a problem in your life, there are only two possible alternatives. Either you can do something about it, or it is completely out of your hands. Either way, ‘Why Worry?’.
If there is something you can do to address the problem, go full steam ahead and exert yourself. After that, and in the case that there is nothing you can possibly do to improve the situation, rest assured knowing that you have already done the best you could.

Delve Into Meditation and Mindfulness

directed meditation
One of the major reasons that obsessive thinking feels painful and bitter is that it is accompanied by difficult emotions and grievous images.
While you sensibly work towards challenging and naming these ruminations, using meditation and mindfulness techniques can provide you with exceptional support to conquer obsessive thoughts. Cognitively questioning and testing the unwanted thoughts and accepting their presence will surely allow you to find a deeper place of rest and stillness.
In Psychology Today, Psychologist Seth Meyers defines mindfulness as “clearing your head and focusing on how your mind and body feels in the moment.”
To achieve this calm state, mindfulness and meditation offer an array of practices to anchor us in the present moment and remind us to compose our thoughts. It soothes anxiety and alleviates stress or anger.
As soon as you recognize obsessive thoughts in your mind, try deep breathing exercises. Then focus on the sounds, odors, and sensations around you. Engage all your senses for this activity. Try inhaling slowly for a count of four, holding it for a count of four, and exhaling for a count of six.
Bring your attention to all the sounds that float to you, and smell that you might not have noticed. Concentrate on how the floor or chair support your body effortlessly. Feel the weight of your body pressing down and the sensitivity of your skin. These grounding exercises help break the cycle of painful ruminations.
There are a bunch of mediation and mindfulness activities that you can try out. Also, consider taking in-person meditation or yoga classes that have a mindfulness aspect. Learning and focusing in a supportive environment will directly impact your well-being in a positive manner.

Reach Out to a Professional if Needed and Get Support

If obsessive thoughts have been harassing you for extended periods of time, it can be indicative of serious mental disorders and illnessesObsessive-compulsive disorder, particularly, can cause persistent, intrusive thoughts to result in a great deal of discomfort and agony.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, or just want a little boost to manage obsessive thinking, reach out to a mental health professional. Counselors are trained to help you live the life you want to live, without the burden of unwanted thoughts, expectations, or emotions. Therapy is also a great way to learn techniques for a balanced and sound mental state.
Our minds are powerful sites. Once we truly understand the nature and essence of obsessive thinking and learn to accept and name them, we are one step closer to achieving mental balance and harmony. Practicing mindfulness and getting extra help when needed allows us to create the state we need to conquer and thrive through life.
References:
  1. https://adaa.org
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com

 




About the Author: Valerie


Valerie holds a bachelor degree in law and a B.A. in Psychology. She is fond of reading and writing about science (especially cognitive science and psychology), technology, and various controversial and thought-provoking topics. She is passionate about movies, travelling and photography.
 
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Please respect all credits.

 
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All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 18:40
A Luz está a revelar a Verdade, e esta libertar-nos-á! -Só é real o AMOR Incondicional. -Quando o Amor superar o amor pelo poder, o mundo conhecerá a Paz; Jimi Hendrix. -Somos almas a ter uma experiência humana!

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