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Quinta-feira, 06 / 06 / 19

When Blaming Others for Your Failures, Consider These Uncomfortable Truths ~ Sherrie.

When Blaming Others for Your Failures, Consider These Uncomfortable Truths.

By Sherrie.

June 6th, 2019

 

Excruciating pain at a turning point of our lives will make us stop blaming others. Until then, we will be empty.
Thinking back as far as I can pick out times when I refused to take the blame for things. I remember tantrums in my teenage years, but usually, it was because I didn’t get something I wanted. I think blaming others came later on during my early adulthood when I blamed my shortcomings on the way I was being treated.

Why are we prone to blaming others?

Yes, negative treatment will make you feel victimized, and you will blame others for your future misfortune, but at some point, you must take responsibility. But there are darker, more selfish reasons for blaming everything on others.
Let’s take a look at why we do this hurtful thing, shall we?

1. To attack others

As heartbreaking as it is, attacking others is a way of hurting them to avoid taking responsibility. When approached about something they’ve done, irresponsible people become defensive and lash out.
They don’t have to be a narcissistic person. They could just be afraid of the consequences of their bad behavior, and they’re looking for a way out of the mess. Placing blame on others and flipping the situation may have become a natural defense mechanism.

2. Truth found in narcissistic behavior

I know a man, who, when angry, claims to feel no remorse for his outbursts. You can see the lack of empathy when he yells and throws tantrums that I recognize from my children’s early years.
The first time I heard this outburst, I was taken aback – I was shocked by the pitch and tone of his bellows. Something shifted between us in that moment.
I’ve heard this very man call others narcissists, when in fact, he fit much of the characteristics of this toxic personality. The truth is, it wasn’t always his fault, he was raised to take no responsibility for his actions. He used blaming all others as the only way he could feel healthy self-esteem.

3. Why can’t we accept failures?

I want you to know that it’s okay to be imperfect, and it’s also okay to let the world know this. Failure is just a part of life, and being open and honest about your shortcomings is a step toward growth and strength. It’s a strength that no one can take away from you. It’s an inner honesty with who we really are.
When we cannot accept failure, we cannot accept that we are imperfect. Most people who do this have created a facade that they show others. If someone manages to get close enough to them and sees the truth, they will lash out.
This is because the perfection they display is being threatened to be revealed. This can be devastating to those who are stuck in blaming and shaming others.

4. It’s easy and it’s lazy

It’s so much easier to blame all others for your mistakes. After all, who wants to take the time for self-analysis? We don’t want the consequences that come with being caught in a shady situation or making a mistake when brushing it off with lies ends the conversation faster.
Most of the time, unfortunately, those who play the blame game learned this dynamic early in life, and use it all through adulthood.
They alienate partners and fail at long-term relationships. They are sometimes remarkably gifted at hiding this about themselves, sometimes as long as two years into the union, but after that, the mask starts to fall off revealing some of the most childish and heinous behavior you have ever seen.

5. There’s no moral compass

Usually, those who have the habit of blaming and criticizing others are doing so to have the freedom to act in any way they want. They cover up things, they lie, and they avoid any sort of confrontation at all costs.
If they are religious or spiritual, they love to attend worship services as long as love is the subject of teaching. But as soon, as self-discipline and accountability are introduced, they proclaim they are being controlled.
Morality, standards, dignity, and loyalty, among others, are things they purposely overlook. After all, these things will interfere in their agenda, as I stated before. So, they start to downgrade spiritual aspects in life, but they do not convict themselves for the things they need to fix in their lives.
As frightening as it may seem, the doctrine they once followed will change according to their selfish needs instead of doing the right thing.

Hope for individuals who blame their actions on others

While it’s not easy to change what’s learned between birth and 7 years of age, psychology states that these years are the most impressionable years of a person’s life. What they are taught frame how they will approach things during their later life. So, this means, blaming others has become a deep imprint.
To help those who always blame their failures on others, therapy, intervention, and accountability is a must. At home, be careful not to fall victim to fear when they grow furious. Don’t invade their space, but certainly stand your ground.
Remember, it’s okay to feel a little sad when we fail, but it’s not okay to pass the buck to another. Let’s strive to be better people.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://hbr.org
 
 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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Discernment is recommended.

 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 17:48
Terça-feira, 04 / 06 / 19

5 Tools of Narcissistic Triangulation: Is Someone Doing This to You? ~ Sherrie.

5 Tools of Narcissistic Triangulation: Is Someone Doing This to You?

By Sherrie.

June 3rd, 2019

 

Narcissistic abuse is terrible enough, but having to deal with narcissistic triangulation is a whole other level of this illness.
I’ve studied narcissism and other personality disorders for quite some time. I’ve learned aboutthe traits and characteristics, and then, I discovered that we all have a certain level of narcissism within us. Did you know that? Well, it seems I’m learning something new every day, and that’s a good thing. Just recently I learned there was something called, “narcissistic triangulation”, and this has opened up areas in my life that were hard to see.

What is this form of abuse?

The narcissist’s tool of madness – triangulation – is a severe mode of alienating people from others that they love. Triangulation can also mean using gaslighting(convincing outsiders that someone you love is crazy), and it can mean draining life from the victim while gaining popularity with the victim’s loved ones.
I think it’s one of the sickest weapons that a narcissist can use. In fact, I feel nauseated at this moment because I’m learning that I know quite a few people like this.

Are they using narcissistic triangulation on you?

A narcissist, especially a covert kind, will use triangulation often during their abusive actions. It’s a way to cover who they really are. This happens when the victim starts to figure out the true identity of the narcissist. It’s almost a retaliation from being noticed, actually.
If the narcissist can use triangulation to separate the victim from all their loved ones, then the victim will be aloneeasy prey for the narcissist. Can you feel the disgust? I can.
So, let’s see if any narcissists are using triangulation on you:

1. Invoking jealousy

Narcissists who use triangulation will attempt to make their partner jealous. One of the most common ways they do this is by using a third party.
For instance, the narcissist may tell their partner that one of her friends flirted with him. This not only makes the victim feel insecure but also makes her try harder to please the narcissist in fear of losing his interest to her friend. It’s sadistic, honestly.
If you’ve noticed your partner talking about girls flirting with him, try not to respond. It’s your response the narcissist craves.

2. Division

Have you noticed your partner saying negative things about certain friends you have? If so, they’re probably telling these friends negative things about you as well. This happens when communication between two particular people could expose the narcissist’s true identity.
Pay close attention to who your partner talks about and his overall demeanor when he does this. He could possibly be using triangulation to keep control.

3. Gaslighting

Gaslighting is when a narcissistic personality convinces others that her partner is crazy or abusive. This is possible because of carefully manipulative instigation.
For example, a narcissist will say derogatory things about her partner until he gets mad. When he retaliates, she will say he is crazy. Sometimes she does this in public so that more people can see just how crazed he gets.
If your girlfriend is starting fights with you for no reason, be careful of gaslighting. This might be what’s about to happen, which proves triangulation.

4. Recruitment

Is your partner often calling in reinforcements from friends and family when you start fighting or having a disagreement? If so, then this could be a form of narcissistic triangulation.
Now, sometimes help is needed when dealing with serious issues, but leveraging people to one side is just not a healthy move in a relationship. You may have noticed how your partner’s family members always take their side, this is common of course, but this, in ways, is triangulation as well.

5. The break-up

If you’re about to break up with your partner, then take a close look at how it’s being done.
Let’s say it’s his idea, and not so much your own. If he is using triangulation, he is telling other people about how bad you are and getting them to agree with everything he says. One of these confidants is probably the woman he wishes to replace you with.
It’s a sick and twisted way of ending a relationship, but it fits right in with how narcissists use triangulation.

What you can do with this information

I’ve been reading about narcissists all day now. I was researching things and then ran off into tangents learning even more about the traits and characteristics of the narcissist. I’m going to be honest with you, this type of personality is complex and difficult to change.
The bright side is, now you have a few facts about narcissistic triangulation and how it works. It’s your choice what to do with this information. I do urge you to consider all aspects of your relationship, whether it be romantic, secular or simply a family relationship.
When you recognize the signs of narcissists and triangulation, it’s time to ask yourself one important question.
“Should I get away, or should I stay and try to help?”
The answer is up to you. Just take care of yourself and remember your self-worth in the process.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://en.wikipedia.org
 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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Discernment is recommended.

 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


More @ http://violetflame.biz.ly and 
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publicado por achama às 18:13
Quarta-feira, 29 / 05 / 19

6 Signs You Are in a Narcissistic Relationship and What to Do. ~ Rachael Pace

6 Signs You Are in a Narcissistic Relationship and What to Do.

Rachael Pace, Guest Author learning-mind.com

May 28, 2019. 

 
narcissistic relationship signs.

 

 

Being in a narcissistic relationship is hardly ideal. While your partner is the center of attention at all times, you probably feel like your needs could use a little dusting off.
narcissistic personality disorder is a condition of the mind where one person has an inflated sense of self, a constant need for attention, and lacks empathy for others. They may also be incredibly charming, manipulative, and toxic when it comes to being in a relationship.
Don’t let someone’s inflated ego ruin your chance at happiness. How to recognize if you are in a relationship with a narcissist?

These are 6 warning signs that you are in a narcissistic relationship and ways how you can fix things.

  1. They need constant praise and attention

Narcissists have delusions of grandeur, so it isn’t surprising that one of the most common signs of narcissistic personality disorders is the need for praise from their partners.
A narcissist wants their spouse to acknowledge their talents, appearance, intelligence, and achievements on an almost constant basis.
All partners love when their spouse makes them feel special. However, such needy behavior of a narcissistic person can be detrimental to a relationship in many ways.
  1. The charm turns on and off

One thing about narcissists is that they know how to charm their partners. Because of their excessive need to be liked and adored, they will know exactly how to come off as put-together, likable, and endearing. Such behavior will, of course, inflate their ego.
But once the honeymoon period is over, a narcissist will reveal their true colors. Some examples include sulking when you disagree with them, getting angry over the smallest things, and seemingly losing any interest in pretending to care about what you are thinking or feeling.
  1. Demeaning toward others

Is there anything more distasteful than someone treating others as their lesser?
Because a narcissist views themselves as superior to others, they will often demean people around them. They will obsess over the negative parts of others’ personalities, lives, and backgrounds. They judge others relentlessly.
Not only is this damaging to your mental health, but this can also be embarrassing when introducing your spouse to your friends or family. It can also be challenging when dealing with people who work in the service industry, such as at restaurants or hotels.
  1. Zero empathy

Any family psychologist will tell you that developing empathy and compassion for your partner is essential for a healthy relationship.
Empathy means that you feel for your partner. It means you have a fellow-feeling for those around you or at the very least, for those closest to you.
Unfortunately, a lack of empathy is incredibly common in narcissistic personalities. It is what allows them to disconnect from you emotionally and be cruel without thinking twice.
  1. There is no compromise

Whether they’re trying to make their spouse stay in the relationship or are convincing them that they are on the wrong side of an argument, narcissists know how to manipulate.
Instead of coming together to communicate about how you are feeling or resolve any issues you’re having, a narcissist will overreact at even the slightest sign of your disagreeing with them.
  1. You feel bad about yourself

Relationships should make you feel good, not worthless. Gaslighting, or manipulating a partner to the point that they question their own judgment or sanity, is a common practice of toxic abusers. It can leave you feeling like you don’t even know who you are anymore.
While in a relationship with a narcissistic person, you may:
  • Feel like everything you do is wrong
  • Find yourself apologizing all the time
  • Constantly question yourself
  • Feel anxious and nervous around your spouse
  • Frequently apologize/make excuses for your spouse’s behavior
  • Become isolated from friends and family
  • Feel like you’re walking on eggshells

What to do when you’re dating a narcissist

Being part of a healthy relationship means that both partners are 100 percent willing to share their lives, thoughts, and time together. This is what creates a long-lasting, strong marriage.
If you have been dating a narcissistic personality for some time now, you are likely growing tired of the lack of give-and-take in your relationship. If that is the case, there are steps you can take for moving forward:
  • Make a decision to end your relationship

After months or years of dealing with manipulation and ego-trips, odds are your close friends and family would not blame you for throwing in the towel.
Typical narcissistic behavior is that if you try and end the relationship, they will either try and manipulate you into staying or turn on the charm in the hopes of winning back your favor.
Don’t buy it.
You deserve better than to be with someone who isn’t actually interested in being a part of your life.
  • If you live together, start withdrawing emotionally, little by little.

It’s also wise to start putting away a nest-egg of cash for when you do leave. You may also consider seeking the support of a lawyer, a trusted friend or family member. You may also need law enforcement when you finally leave to help prevent any violent outbursts.
If your spouse’s narcissistic behavior has turned dangerous to your mental or physical health, it’s time to call it quits. Once your partner has been abusive, it is likely that they will repeat the same behavior if you decide to cross them.
Even if you don’t but they feel threatened by you, they will not flinch before engaging in abusive behavior. There is no turning back from abuse. If you have been subjected to narcissistic abuse, you must gather help and resources to get out of the relationship.

You are the best judge of your relationship.

Exercise discretion to know if there is a hope for things to change for better or is your partner a looming threat to your well being.
However, keep in mind that narcissistic personality disorder is something that can be acquired during the growing ages. It isn’t easy to get rid off and sometimes, it’s completely impossible.
Even if you see some hope of resurrecting your relationship, exercise caution. Narcissists excel in the art of pretention and they can easily fool you into believing they can change. But that’s hardly possible, ever.
 
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Rachael Pace is a noted writer currently associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of her motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying about today’s evolving forms of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on all types of romantic connections. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.
 
 



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If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 20:33
Domingo, 05 / 05 / 19

7 Things a Covert Narcissist Mother Does to Her Children ~ Sherrie.

7 Things a Covert Narcissist Mother Does to Her Children.

By Sherrie.

May 3rd, 2019


 

While most narcissists are men, women can be just as malignant. In fact, the covert narcissist mothers are becoming more common.

Narcissistic females are thought to be rarer than their male counterparts. In fact, 75% of narcissists are male. Recently, however, studies have shown more and more covert narcissists are women. The covert narcissist mother, being one of the most malignant of the group, can cause some of the worst damage as well.

How children are really affected

You would be surprised just how much damage is done to children with covert and dangerous mothers. Yes, I said dangerous because later in life, this upbringing can cause mental health problems and even suicide.
So, what does this type of mother do to her children that’s so heinous? Maybe you will understand the serious nature by delving into the effects of the narcissist.

1. She devalues her children

One thing the covert narcissist type of mother does to her child is devaluation or triangulation. This means she uses one child as a scapegoat and the other as the perfect child.
This creates competition within the mind of the flawed child. This sibling tries desperately to please their mother which is almost impossible. In the meantime, their mother is doting on the golden child and offering praises day after day.
This sort of covert and venomous narcissist mother can leave her imprint way into her child’s adulthood. The effects surface by not being good enough and always comparing themselves to other people.

2. She has two faces

One way the covert style of the narcissistic mother affects the children is by the utilization of two faces. What I mean by two faces is that the mother is loving to her children when presenting them to the outside world, but behind closed doors, she is quite the opposite.
She shows off her children, then punishes them for small things later on. Sometimes she passes her duties as a mother to other people when no one from outside the home is around to see her true actions.

3. Invalidation and gaslighting

One of the most horrible things a mother can do is invalidate the feelings of her childrenand make them feel like they are the crazy ones. This type of mother does negative things and blames the actions of her children as the cause of her negative actions.
She doesn’t validate the feelings of her children as real concerns. This is because the covert narcissistic moods of the mother show no empathy. If something occurs that’s obviously the fault of this mother, she resorts to gaslighting to defend the truths of actions.

4. Her children are parts of her personality

A narcissist’s children are not individuals in her eyes. They are simply a part of her being, created by her, and under her control. She dresses her children in certain ways to represent herself, otherwise, she will have a reputation she does not want.
In public, she brags about her children, but in private she pushes them to be better – she tells them to lose weight or to dress better.. Her children are possessions, or better yet, extensions of herself which must represent her and not an individual person.

5. She competes and crosses boundaries

The covert version of the narcissistic mother will cross strange boundaries with her children. These are boundaries that are extremely disturbing sometimes.
If she has a female child that is developing and maturing physical, the mother will compete with her daughter’s youthful looks. She may try to dress more provocatively than her daughter and even try to steal her boyfriends or seduce them.
She crosses these boundaries because she is aware of her aging and no child of hers will be better than her in any way.

6. Outside possessions are more important than her children

covert narcissist will always find greater pleasure in providing for herself over the need of her children. For instance, she rather purchase new clothing for herself than for her children, even if they need new school clothing.
She is a selfish person and doesn’t care how her children see her. She will buy them the bare minimum and then again, show her children off to the world in their few new outfits. If you pay attention, you will notice the covert mother has more new clothing than her children.

7. She invades their privacy

covert and intrusive narcissistic mother will always break boundaries when it comes to her child’s privacy. Yes, you should, as a mother, be able to check up on some of your children’s actions, but not constantly. Sometimes it is best to let them have some privacy and figure out things for themselves.
An unhealthy relationship with your child will turn into unhealthy relationships when they grow older, destroying future relationships and causing others to resent them for their intrusive behavior.

Let’s be honest: Are you a covert narcissistic mother?

Look within and ask yourself, do you fit any of these indicators of being a parent like this? If you relate to any of these things, please try to change as much as possible for the sake of your child’s future. The treatment they receive now will be the foundation of their adult lives.
If you know someone who is a covert narcissistic type of mother, please provide help for their children if you can. Remember, you cannot break boundaries either or the mother will only punish the children for that as well. If anything, get anonymous support or help.
I hope these indicators and words of hope have helped you as well.
References:
  1. https://thoughtcatalog.com
  2. https://blogs.psychcentral.com
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.

 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


More @ http://violetflame.biz.ly and 
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publicado por achama às 06:38
Quinta-feira, 25 / 04 / 19

9 Signs of a Narcissistic Father: Were You Raised by a Narcissist? ~ Margaret B.

7 Wise Audrey Hepburn Quotes That Will Inspire and Motivate You.

By Margaret B.

April 24th, 2019. 



 

Many people have had a narcissistic father. Narcissism is everywhere, unfortunately.

It has been present in the past, and it will be present in the future. It can ruin people’s lives, not least because it can be difficult to see. Narcissistic parents can ruin the entire course of their children’s lives. This article provides some ways in which you can see if you had a narcissistic father.

Do any of the below things sound like your father?

 

1.  He Uses/Lives Through His Child

Parents want their children to succeed, so the saying goes. A narcissistic father will likely want his children to succeed, but not for themselves. No, he will want them to succeed because it will reflect well on himself.
Parents are supposed to raise children so that their thoughts and hopes are protected. Parents are supposed to ensure that their children can live for themselves. A narcissistic father will merely ensure that children live and grow to fulfil his wishes, rather than the child’s own.

2.  Marginalization

Narcissism is a trait which invalidates individuality. People are individuals, but narcissists don’t see that. What they see is an extension of themselves, to do with as they please.
As children grow older, they begin to show their own personalities, likes, and dislikes. This can challenge a narcissistic father, who is used to seeing his children as little miniatures. If this happens, many fathers turn to marginalization of their children in order to tear down their success.
These put-downs come in many forms, but they have one purpose. The purpose is to lower or destroy confidence and self-esteem so that the narcissistic father never needs to feel threatened by their children.

3.  Grandiosity and Superiority

Most, if not all, narcissistic fathers have a greatly inflated sense of themselves. No matter what they do, they feel as if they are the best, and should be at the top of the pile. People around a narcissist are therefore not their own people, but merely another way to assert superiority.
When it comes to a narcissistic father, this can manifest in two ways: either the child is used as a prop, or the child is taught to act in the same way. Thus the parent can use their child to assert their own viewpoint in the matter.

4.  Superficial Image

Being superficial is not entirely the same as being superior. Many a narcissistic father has used those around them, including children, to show how special they are. Being superficial means showing off what is ultimately entirely inconsequential.
This can be a good memory (which occurs entirely by chance), or material possessions (which are ultimately meaningless). Many parents might use their child’s social life as a personal booster. It opens up whole new avenues for a narcissistic father to show off what they have, and what they think they are.

5.  Manipulation

Manipulation can take many forms. When a narcissistic father uses it, the most commons forms are:
  • Emotional coercion
  • Unreasonable pressure
  • Reward and punishment – i.e. do what I want or be punished
  • Negative comparisons
  • Shaming
  • Blaming
  • Guilt trips
A particularly common theme for family narcissism is when love becomes conditional. Instead of being something children receive as a matter of course, love is given in return for children acting in a certain way.
Another way to see this is that a narcissistic father will look at love as something to be used as a tool. If his children do what he wants, he will reward them with love. If they don’t do what he wants, he will punish them by withholding his love.

6.  Inflexible and Touchy

Many narcissistic fathers are inflexible when it comes to how they want their children to act and behave. Every parent has to parent their child is they are to grow up properly, of course. But a narcissistic father will go far further than that: they will correct anything which they perceive as wrong.
What is particularly unfortunate is that this inflexibility can manifest in many different ways, making it difficult to combat. One reason for people being inflexible is that it is a way to control children. This tends to work more as the child gets older, and begins to spread their wings.

7.  Lack of Empathy

Because narcissistic fathers don’t see their children as separate from themselves, lack of empathy is a problem. Children have their own thoughts and feelings, and it is important to validate them. When narcissism is involved, however, only the narcissist matters. Nobody else.
Many children, when faced with a lack of empathy, will begin to fight back. They will do this in three distinct ways:
  • Fight back and stand up for themselves and their right to respect for thoughts, feelings, wishes, etc.
  • Distance themselves from the parent in question to get some emotional distance.
  • Creating a new personality which takes on the desired personality traits; these children show narcissistic tendencies themselves.

8.  Dependency/Co-dependency

A narcissistic father may expect that their offspring will be there to take care of them in their old age. This is what is called dependency, and can take a variety of forms. The most common forms are financial, physical, or emotional, with physical often being the most common.
Taking care of aging parents is admirable, but it can be twisted into something unhealthy. Many narcissists can manipulate their children into making unreasonable sacrifices for them, whether personally or financially.
Co-dependency works in something of the same way. The definition of co-dependency is where two people enable each other in bad or actively hurtful actions, such as drug-taking, drinking, or anything else of that nature.

9.  Jealousy & Possessiveness

key part of narcissism is always having control over your target. A narcissistic father will show jealousy of anything and anyone which shows that their child or children are moving on with their lives.
Romantic partners, in particular, will come in for a lot of trouble. Romantic partners are the people who will have the most influence over a person – this will rival the control of a narcissistic parent.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://www.tandfonline.com

 

 
About the Author: Margaret B.
 
Margaret is a freelance writer and tutor. She spends her time reading and writing, hoping to learn why people act the way they do. She is a lifelong fan of both philosophy and fantasy.
 
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publicado por achama às 08:17
Segunda-feira, 28 / 01 / 19

10 Signs of Toxic Sibling Relationships Most People Think Are Normal ~ Janey Davies.

Has an Alien Signal Been Detected? SETI Research and the First Contact.

By Janey Davies.

January 27th, 2019. 

 
 
toxic sibling relationships
 

 

There’s no law that says we have to get on with our siblings. Thankfully, most of us have pretty good family dynamics. But some people have toxic sibling relationships.

So what’s the difference between say typical sibling rivalries to toxic sibling relationships?
Healthy sibling relationships are compassionate, loving, willing to listen and help. They are non-judgemental and caring. They want the best for their brothers and sisters. That’s why they are happy and pleased when their siblings achieve success. They are independent of their siblings but not distant from them.
Toxic sibling relationships are simply the opposite.

Here are 10 other signs of toxic sibling relationships:

 

1.They are the favourite child

Parents should not have favourite children. But was your sibling always praised and given the best opportunities in your family? Did they get away with murder? Did the rules not apply to them?
Favouritism can lead to narcissistic behaviour. When a child always gets want they want and is never made to feel the consequences of their actions, it gives them a false sense of superiority.

2.They are controlling

Do you feel like you always have to do what your sibling wants to do? If you don’t, they will sulk or get aggressive? In the end, it’s just easier to go with whatever they want?
This is a form of control. Whether it is what friends are suitable for you or the type of college course you should study. If you find that you are not able to make your own decisions without your sibling getting their way, this is a sign of coercive control.

3.You don’t feel you can say ‘no’ to them

This is another form of control, but it also impacts a great deal on your life. Do they get upset if you say no to one of their requests or demands? Do they make you feel guilty for saying no? Finally, do they play on your emotions and try and make you feel bad for not helping them?
This is typical behaviour of a younger sibling that has narcissistic tendencies.

4They manipulate you

People that think and act in a rational and logical way can quite often be deceived and manipulated easily because they just don’t think in that kind of devious way. Someone who is lazy and can’t be bothered to work themselves will use deception to resolve their issues instead.
The problem here is that, of course, families are supposed to help out one another, but not to the point where one person is always benefitting to the detriment of everyone else.

5.They are always right

No one is right all the time. We all have to have an open mind, even if we think we know the truth. But some people that believe that they know what is right and won’t listen to anyone else’s opinion.
This kind of closed mind can be exhausting and inevitably leads to arguments and breakdowns in a relationship. It also invalidates your feelings because you don’t feel as if your opinions and ideas are important or that they matter.

6.They ‘play’ you against your other siblings

Does one sibling constantly gossip or badmouth to you about your other brothers or sisters? Does this undermine your relationships with them? This is one of the worst signs of toxic sibling relationships as this behaviour can cause lasting damage.
They do this to elevate their own position by making their other siblings look bad in your eyes. This is because their own behaviour is not good enough by itself, so they have to trash the reputation of others in order to look better.

7.They dismiss your feelings

We need validation when we are feeling angry, unloved, frightened, anxious or sad. When someone does not take our feelings into account, they are telling us in effect that we don’t matter. We are not important.
Our emotions are what drive us, they are interwoven into every action or behaviour that we take. To have them ignored is extremely detrimental to our psyche.

8.They are constantly criticising you

Not only do toxic siblings like to trash their brothers and sisters to other siblings in the family dynamic, but they also like to make you feel bad about yourself. They do this by constantly criticising you.
They will judge every aspect of your life and find you wanting. Nothing you do will be good enough in their eyes. Their barrage of putdowns will have a cumulative effect until you begin spending less time with them to escape the mental battles.

9.They only ever contact you when they need something

You get friends like this, ones that you only get a phone call or a text when they need money or a shoulder to cry on. And it can be exactly the same with siblings.
Do you go for months without hearing from your sibling and then suddenly out of the blue, you get an email or phone call from them?
It will start off innocently enough, perhaps asking how you are, but then the real reason for the call will soon become apparent. They want something from you.

10.They make threats all the time

Making threats is a toxic behaviour in itself. Well-adjusted people don’t tend to have to make ultimatums in order to get what they want or need in life. If your sibling is constantly making threats, it shows they do not have the mental capacity or the patience to get what they desire in a civilised way.
So how do you deal with toxic sibling relationships? It may be too late to change their behaviour, but you can certainly do something about yours.

How to deal with toxic sibling relationships

Do not engage in bad behaviour, just ignore it. If you engage in it, it may encourage your sibling to carry on.

Surround yourself with positive people

 

Ignore toxic behaviour

It is easy to doubt yourself when you have a toxic sibling. But if you are with positive well-balanced people, you’ll be able to recognise bad behaviour immediately and not put up with it.

Set clear boundaries

Some toxic behaviour is quite intrusive and can take over a person’s life. By setting clear boundaries, you can regain control.

Sever contact if necessary

Finally, there’s no rule that you have to stay in close contact with your sibling. If the situation is really bad and affecting your health, it is best to sever contact.
Do you have a toxic relationship with your sibling that you would like to talk to us about? Let us know in the comments section.
References:
  1. https://www.bustle.com/
  2. https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/

 

About the Author: Janey D.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 

Archives:

 



Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.

 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


More @ http://violetflame.biz.ly and 
https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/




 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 

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publicado por achama às 06:57
A Luz está a revelar a Verdade, e esta libertar-nos-á! -Só é real o AMOR Incondicional. -Quando o Amor superar o amor pelo poder, o mundo conhecerá a Paz; Jimi Hendrix. -Somos almas a ter uma experiência humana!

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