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Domingo, 26 / 01 / 20

Spectacular Super Snow Moon Phenomenon Not to Miss This February

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 25th, 2020.

 
 

 
The celestial beauty of the heavens wouldn’t be complete without the allure of the Super snow moon in February. You don’t want to miss it!
 
Ever since I was a small child, I would gaze into the heavens in amazement. I would reach up and try to grasp the stars in my hand. Also, I would trace the moon with my finger and yes, I did imagine the craters as little indentions on cheese.
 
 
My imagination was fueled by the beauty of the skies. I even heard the story of the man in the moon. If I looked close enough, I could make out his features. But it would be years before I learned the names of the moons according to the months, including the supermoon coming as 2020’s February full moon.
 
What Is the Super Snow Moon?
 
On February 9, 2020, our full moon will rise and be known by many people as the super snow moon. It will be bright, and illuminate deep snowfall in some areas of the world, hence the name.
 
It will also be at its perigee, meaning it will be larger than usual, this is where the “super” part of the title applies. To me, this special full moon will add warm feelings to this darkened cold and sometimes heavy time of the year.
 
There’s another fascinating fact about the special February moon, as well. Every 19 years, it doesn’t exist. That’s right, after almost two decades of February full moons, both January and March have two full moons and February is void of this magic. It sounds kind of sad, but also extremely interesting. So, every now and then, we won’t see the super snow moon, so we should enjoy its beauty when we can.
 
But on the other hand, we witness a phenomenon called the dark moon, which is just as exciting as it is ominous. The wonders of the world never cease to amaze me.
 
Here’s a secret – not everyone calls the February full moon the super snow moon. No, not at all. This moon has many names, deriving from many areas around the world.
 
For instance, the English call this full moon, the “Wolf Moon”. From long ago both in Medieval England and among Pagans, this moon was called “the storm moon”. So, although the February full moon names have similarities, they are different from region to region. In the U.S., there are numerous names for this supermoon phenomenon.
 
Native American Origins
 
So, I guess you’re wondering why the February 9th full moon is called the super snow moon, aren’t you? Well, that is because according to weather reports and the farmer’s almanac, February receives the most snowfall in the United States. Now you can see the obvious correlation.
 
However, the native Americans had many names for this deep winter moon. These names varied according to the different tribes in the U.S.
 
Many names for the February full moon:
 
1. Wishram of the Pacific Northwest
 
The native people of the Pacific Northwest called the February moon the “Shoulder to shoulder around the Fire moon” because they literally had to sit tightly side by side around the fire to stay warm.
 
2. Cherokee of the Southeast
 
The Cherokee natives considered the full moon of February the “bone moon”. This name came about because of the scarcity of food during the deep winter. Usually, the majority of nutrition came from the marrow of bones or bone broth.
 
3. Lakota of the Southwest
 
The February supermoon was also called the “Moon when the trees crack because of the cold”. Wow! Can you imagine the deep cold that inspires such a name?
 
4. Arapaho in the Mid-West
 
Natives of this area called the February full moon, “Frost sparkling in the sun” because even though February is one of the coldest months in the U.S., the snow which covers many areas seems tosparkle under the moonlight as if it was light from the sun. When observed, this kind of beauty couldn’t possibly be easily forgotten.
 
There are many other notable Native American full moon names such as the “Coyote moon”originating from the Shoshone people’s story about fox and coyote both wanting to be the moon. It’s an interesting and fanciful story. Then there is the Cree who considered the February moon, “the old moon”.
 
The list goes on and on, with most names either representing the frigid cold or the lack of food for the native people. One of the most memorable ones is “the hunger moon” because it represents the simple fact that February was a month when everyone, even though they were starving, remained strong with whatever resources they had available.
 
But, I will say that the super snow moon remains a favorite, simply because it invokes a feeling of power. Now, that’s a much better way to look at this beautiful phenomenon.
 
So, when can you see the February super snow moon?
 
 
As with all the other magnificent full moons each month, the February moon shouldn’t be missed either. The moon will be at its fullest on Sunday, February 9, 2020, at 2:34 a.m. EST.
 
If you live in the U.S., this time or any hour close to this time may be a little late or too early for some. The alternative would be to view the fullest part of the full moon as late as you can on Saturday night.
 
Use these opportunities to get great images of the super snow moon. In fact, each month, don’t miss a capture of the full moon, compare them and notice changes in position, coloration, size, and beauty.
 
It’s been a while since I lay in the grass and stared up into the heavens, but I think I might wrap uptight and lay under the super snow moon for a while, careful not to fall asleep and freeze. After all, I’ve also heard this moon represents changes as well. We’ll see!
 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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publicado por achama às 18:59
Sábado, 25 / 01 / 20

7 Micromanagement Examples in Family, Friend Circles, and the Workplace

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 24th, 2020.

 
 


 
There are so many micromanagement examples because there are so many ways this controlling behavior can be used.

Micromanaging is basically a form of control, although it can seem a bit more subtle in operation. For example, those who are guilty of micromanaging usually don’t even know they are doing this. They see their hovering or helping as just that, helping someone improve their life. They do this even when no one’s asked them to.

Why is micromanaging wrong?

This sort of behavior is wrong for several reasons. For one, you cannot control what others do. Although you may succeed in controlling behavior for a while, ultimately, people are going to do what they want.

Micromanaging doesn’t allow people to learn. Basically, it does things for them or takes away their ideas and exchanges them for what the controller thinks is a better option. Just like these people aren’t always aware of what they do, we aren’t always aware of the signs that someone we know does this either. There are ways to discover the behavior, however.

What are some micromanagement examples?

1. You would have done things differently

Here’s an example of micromanaging: No matter how someone completes a project, you see a different way that, to you, would have been better.

Not only do you see this in your mind and roll it over in your head, you tell them about it. You tell your coworker, friend, or partner, that there would have been a much better way of cleaning at work or planning a party with friends. It doesn’t matter, because you think you know what’s best.

2. You have to know everything about everything

Micromanaging also includes the nasty habit of being aware of absolutely everything.

For instance, if a mother is a micromanager when her child returns from school, she will want to know every single detail of the child’s day. From the time they got off the bus until the moment they arrived home, all this must be known because this urgency, which a micromanager usually has, can be softened.

3. Help has become control

There’s a big difference between being helpful and being controlling. If you want to help someone, whether at work or at home, that’s fine. You can offer solutions and ideas.

However, if you force someone to do things your way right from the start, you are simply being controlling. There’s no pretty way to say it. For couples, controlling behavior that comes from micromanaging can become extremely fierce.

4. You’re making huge decisions for others

There are some things that even children need to decide for themselves. One example is when a teen is nearing graduation, and they have to pick a college they wish to attend. If you micromanage, you will push your teenager toward the college that YOU prefer, not the college that pricks their interests.

Micromanaging in this area can affect the entire course of your child’s life and their dreams. Think about it. What if your child wishes to play a certain sport, and the college you push them to join doesn’t allow them to major in that sport. You could scar your child and make them think much differently about you.

5. Removing motivation when mistakes are made

One of the typical examples of micromanagement is when motivation or morale is removed due to a simple mistake. This happens so often in the workplace, for example, when someone makes a small mistake that can easily be fixed.

A supervisor who micromanages will punish the employee for the small mistake, and not even show them why the mistake was made. This kills morale, and honestly, it can cause more mistakes to be made as well. This is one of the reasons that so many people are fired from their jobs. It can be avoided by eliminating micromanaging.

6. Mothers are too protective

Did you know that if you are too protective of your child, even as a toddler, you can sow seeds of dependence on others? That’s right. Micromanaging your child, for instance, on playdates with other children, will teach the child that you will always step in to save them. It will remove responsibility as well.

Hey, trust me, I know grown men who’ve been protected in this manner and cannot take the blame for anything. Mothers, in order to not be a micromanagement example, you have to let children work through their difficulties just a bit before you and the other parents step in to help and sort things out.

7. You’re making someone feel inferior

This example can be used with work relationships, family situations, and even couples. Micromanaging in a way that you are putting yourself on a pedestal not only looks stupid, but it also makes people feel inferior. It trains them to just go along with whatever you say because they are used to doing so.

So when they do have great ideas, you will be the last one to know about, and the last one to celebrate when ideas create something great worthy of a reward.

In reality, it is just control

Just face it, you want to control everything so everything cannot control you. It’s fear at its worst. At least that’s one reason why you, the micromanager, do this. So, you know that it must stop in order to live a normal life.

If this is not you, and you’re dealing with this, always remember your worth, and keep fighting to be heard. Try to show micromanagers what they’re actually doing to you and to themselves, and maybe they will be willing to get better.

I sure do hope so.


 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 02:00
Segunda-feira, 13 / 01 / 20

6 Mentalism Tricks That Will Allow You to Read People’s Minds

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

January 7th, 2020.

 
Mentalism Tricks.
 


 
Mentalism is everywhere in our lives. Fictional characters such as Sherlock Holmesuse mentalism tricks to solve clues. Not to mention the highly successful US TV show – The Mentalist is based around this phenomenon. In addition, UK performer Derren Brown has made a career from using mentalism and performing tricks in his shows. So, what exactly is this technique and how do people use it?
 
A Personal Experience of Mentalism Tricks
 
I went to a Derren Brown show a couple of years ago. Derren picked members of the audience to participate in the show by throwing a frisbee. I managed to catch it.
 
 
My job was to choose a number from 100 to 200. I randomly picked a number which I wrote down and placed in an envelope. This number was integral of a series of other answers given by audience members who had also been randomly selected throughout the show.
 
To this day, I have no idea how he managed to guess all our answers. The weird thing is that they all related to one another in some way. Moreover, if he had got just one answer wrong, they all would have been wrong.
 
So what exactly are mentalism tricks? A mentalist, such as Derren Brown, will use a variety of ways to read you.
 
6 Different Tricks of Mentalism
  1. Studying body language
  2. Subconscious communication
  3. Simple trickery
  4. Understanding human behaviour
  5. Cold reading
  6. Power of suggestion
 
Let’s examine each method in turn and discover the tricks of mentalism:
 
Studying Body Language
 
A mentalist’s greatest strength is his or her ability to understand body language. Gifted mentalists will use this to supposedly read people’s minds. In other words – telepathy.
 
Actually, if you break down the word telepathy, you get ‘tele’, which means distant, and ‘pathy’, which means perception or feeling. This is exactly what a mentalist does to read your mind. They get a feeling from a distance and using their knowledge of body language to interpret this feeling.
 
When reading someone’s body language, the first thing a mentalist will do is establish a person’s base level. So they may start with fairly innocuous questions to gauge a normal reaction. For example, a person might have a habit of playing with their hair. If you didn’t know this was normal behaviour, you might assume they were hiding something later on in the questioning process.
 
Remember that mentalists take years to perfect their observations on body language. However, the main areas they’ll focus on are the face and hands.
 
 
On the face, they will look at movement around the mouth when talking. Does the person push their lips out when speaking? This is a sign they are forcing their words out and might not believe what they are saying. Likewise, do they cover their mouth while speaking?
 
This is an indicator of lying.
 
What is their blink rate like? Look out for the ‘blink sandwich’. This is a fast succession of blinks before a lie, no blinks during the lie, then another burst of fast blinks. This happens because the person lying will often stare at their accuser to make their lie seem more truthful.
 
However, their eyes cannot keep up the pretence and need to blink. Hence the rapid blinks either side.
Subconscious communication
 
Are you the sort of person that always seems to receive great customer service? Or is it the opposite? Would you be surprised to learn that either way it might be your subconscious communications that are influencing others and predicting these outcomes?
 
Imagine two scenarios:
In the first, you are late for work and rush into a coffee shop. You are flustered and unkempt and when it is your turn to be served, you bark ‘coffee’ at the server without looking up.
In the second scene, you have a day off and are meeting friends. You stroll in, walk up to the counter, smile at the server and ask for coffee.
 
These two scenes are practically identical but for a slight tweak in attitude. But it is your subconscious communication that is speaking clearly here. What kind of service do you suppose you would receive for each scenario?
 
Remember, if it is so easy for novices like ourselves to understand, imagine how a mentalist could use it to read a person?
 
Simple Trickery
 
Most of us would like to believe that we wouldn’t be fooled by magic tricks, especially the really easy ones. But some of the best are the simple tricks. If you like programmes such as Perception with US actor Eric McCormack as Dr Daniel Pierce, you’ll be used to seeing mentalism tricks such as these.
 
For instance, in one episode, Dr Pierce ‘demonstrates’ his mind-reading abilities. He consistently guesses correctly from a deck of cards the right symbol his colleague is thinking of. His colleague is amazed until Dr Pierce reveals that he can see the cards his colleague is holding in the reflection of the colleague’s glasses.
 
Understanding Human Behaviour
 
I had gone to a psychic fair held locally and had managed to book the last sitting with a popular clairvoyant.
 
Just as she began my reading, a lady walked up and sadly said ‘Is it too late to book?’ The clairvoyant said ‘Yes, I’m sorry, this is my last sitting,’ gesturing to me. The lady was about to turn away and the clairvoyant stood up, grabbed her hand and said ‘It will be alright you know, you’ve suffered a terrible tragedy, but they are in a better place now.’
 
The lady broke down and said ‘Thank you’ and went on her way. I wondered afterwards, how did she know? But of course, this clairvoyant had been in the business for decades. I’m not taking anything away from her. She was an extremely kind lady to get up and offer the woman some solace.
 
Having said that, did she have clairvoyant skills or did she simply understand that this lady needed some kind of closure?
 
Cold Reading
 
This is a particularly pernicious way of using mentalism tricks to get people to open up about themselves. You could relate it back to the previous story in fact.
 
 
Cold reading is when the reader has no clue at all about their audience. So they throw out random or general facts that could apply to almost anyone. It’s a little like your horoscopes. They are fishing for a bite. Once someone has bitten they can trawl them in with vague questions until they hit on the jackpot.
 
Cold reading uses a number of techniques to help them. They will use information about certain groups of people in order to pigeon-hole people. For example, young girls are likely to have problems with self-esteem. They’ll employ certain tactics such as ‘Barnum statements’ like ‘You feel anxious meeting new people’ or ‘When you try hard you succeed in whatever you do.’
 
Fishing is an example of a specific statement like ‘I can see a car accident here is significant’. Then, if this is picked up the audience will be impressed. If it is not the mentalist will quickly move on.
 
Power of Suggestion
 
Finally, the last but probably most important of our tricks involving mentalism is the power of suggestion. This is because it can be used in so many ways to manipulate us, and not just by performers. One person, Jay Olsen, found that his hobby of magic and illusion helped his career in psychology.
 
 
“Lots of what they said about attention and memory were just what magicians had been saying in a different way.” Jay Olson at McGill University in Quebec, Canada
 
Olsen devised a simple experiment in which he flicked through a deck of cards, then asked an audience member to choose one. When the card was revealed, Olsen took out the exact card from his jacket pocket.
 
So what was the mentalism trick he used? Olsen says that whilst shuffling through the pack, he lingered for a couple of milliseconds longer on the chosen card. This was enough for participants to choose it.
 
 
This easy manipulation technique has far-reaching implications, as Olsen is keen to point out. It even works on restaurant menus. Olsen says that we are more likely to choose from the very top or bottom of the menu. This is because these areas immediately attract our eyes.
 
So, while we think we might fancy the steak, really it’s just because it’s there at the top.
Final Thoughts
 
Mentalism tricks show just how easy it is for people to read our minds. But don’t forget, if they can read ours, we can use these same techniques and read theirs!
 
References:

 

 
Janey Davies

 





About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

Archives:

 


 
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

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publicado por achama às 16:16
Sábado, 28 / 12 / 19

20 Signs of a Narcissistic Perfectionist Who Is Poisoning Your Life

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

December 27th, 2019.

 
Narcissistic Perfectionist signs.
 
 
 
Psychological terms such as narcissism and perfectionist have been around for decades. We understand their character traits, even if we don’t possess them ourselves. But what happens when the two collide? Is there such a thing as a narcissistic perfectionist? And if so, what impact does it have on a person’s life?
 
Understanding the Narcissistic Perfectionist
 
It is easy to explain this kind of person. We simply break down the two components of their personality.
 
 
So, we know that narcissists, as well as putting themselves first, have the following character traits:
 
Narcissists:
  • A grandiose sense of self
  • A sense of entitlement
  • They think they are special and unique
 
On the other hand, perfectionists set themselves impossibly high standards.
 
Perfectionists:
  • Strive for flawless performance
  • They will work tirelessly, be extremely self-critical.
  • Some will have a tendency to procrastinate.
 
Now, it’s not quite as simple as putting these two character traits together. This is because the narcissist who is also a perfectionist projects their perfectionism onto other people, not themselves. This is the difference between a perfectionist and a person with narcissistic traits.
 
The narcissistic perfectionist sets these unrealistic goals and targets for other people. Furthermore, they get angry and hostile if they don’t reach these impossible goals.
 
Dr. Simon Sherry is a clinical psychologist and an associate professor. He works in the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience.
 
 
“Narcissistic perfectionists have a need for other people to satisfy their unreasonable expectations… And if you don’t, they get angry.” Dr. Simon Sherry
 
Studies into This Type of Personality
 
Studies included researching the biographies of famous CEOs with narcissistic perfectionism. Employees reported their bosses lashing out at them for very minor mistakes. They would be held in high-esteem one minute then go from ‘hero to zero’ the next.
 
 
In addition, employees would be routinely derogated in front of co-workers. The CEOs would be hyper-critical, to the point of outright hostility.
 
So why is this combination so lethal?
 
“But high expectations paired with feelings of grandiosity and entitlement to the perfect performance of others creates a much more negative combination.” Dr. Simon Sherry
 
So far we have talked about top CEOs, but what about in everyday life? What if the perfectionist narcissist is a member of your own family?
 
Logan Nealis is a Clinical Psychology Ph.D. student. He is working with the Personality Research Team.
 
 
“A narcissistic perfectionist parent demands perfect performance from his daughter on the hockey rink, but not necessarily from anyone else out there.” Logan Nealis
 
But it’s not just about demanding perfection from people around them. It is also about basking in the glow of success through the perfection achieved by those around them. The narcissist can say, through these perfect achievements, ‘Look how good I am!’
Typical Behaviors of a Narcissistic Perfectionist
 
So how can you spot someone with narcissistic perfectionist tendencies? According to recent studies, there are several major red flags:
 
“Our most consistent finding across the two studies is that narcissistic perfectionism is associated with social negativity in the form of anger, derogation, conflict and hostility,” explains Dr. Sherry.
 
This social negativity goes hand-in-hand with the narcissist’s sense of superiority. So they won’t just take the time to critically humiliate you. In fact, they’ll do all of that whilst maintaining this sense that they are better than you.
 
The narcissist who also believes in perfectionism will react in violent and hostile outbursts. These outbursts will be a complete over-reaction to the mistake in question. For example, imagine that you have made one very small spelling error on a document. The narcissist perfectionist boss would drag you out in front of your co-workers, shout and scream at you and sack you on the spot.
 
Also, don’t forget, any errors will never be the narcissist’s fault. It is inconceivable to them that they might be wrong or the mistake is theirs. This black and white thinking just adds to the problem.
 
“In the world view of a narcissistic perfectionist, the problem exists outside of themselves. It’s the co-worker, it’s the spouse, it’s the roommate.” Dr Sherry
 
20 Signs Someone You Know Is a Narcissistic Perfectionist
 
  1. Many of us work for bosses that demand perfection. But what’s the difference between someone who wants the best work from you, or the narcissist who just happens to be a perfectionist too? And what about family and friends? Do you recognise any of the following signs?
  2. They set impossible demands/targets/goals
  3. These goals are for everyone else, not themselves
  4. They react inappropriately when something does not go their way
  5. You are always walking on eggshells around them
  6. You never know how they are going to react
  7. They are hyper-critical in everything you do
  8. Everything you do is up for criticism
  9. The rules apply to you but not to them
  10. They can bend the rules, but you never can
  11. They get impatient with you
  12. They demand great things from you
  13. You can’t ever be yourself around them
  14. You’re afraid of them
  15. They’re unprofessional at work
  16. They expect too much from you
  17. You’re not allowed to offer ‘excuses’
  18. It’s never their fault
  19. They are always right
  20. They don’t want to hear explanations
  21. If you make a mistake, they get hostile and angry
 
You might recognise some of the above signs. They may apply to a boss, a partner, a friend or a family member. Dealing with the narcissistic perfectionist in your life depends on the circumstances. If it is your boss, there might not be much you can do apart from seeking alternative employment.
 
For personal relationships, however, Dr. Sherry believes that getting the person to understand the impact of their behaviour is the way forward. Typically, the narcissist will not seek treatment. They may do it only in the end stages when their marriage has failed, or they have lost a company for example.
 
Final Thoughts
 
It is extremely difficult to change the mindset of a narcissist, particularly one with perfectionist traits. Sometimes the only thing you can do is leave, for your own sanity.
  1. medicalxpress.com
  2. www.sciencedaily.com
  3. www.researchgate.net
 

 
Janey Davies

 





About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

Archives:

 


 
A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
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Alternative to YouTube
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 06:17
Domingo, 22 / 12 / 19

What Is Neuro-Linguistic Programming and 6 Signs Someone Is Using It on You

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted December 20th, 2019.

 



 
Did you know that manipulation and influence aren’t the same? One is conducted for selfish reasons, the other, to improve or change. While we know that outright manipulation is a negative thing, we cannot say this 100% about influence. For example, we influence our children in hopes they will become mature and respected adults, right? Yes, and influence can also be used in the workplace to help employees improve on the job. Scientists call this neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), and it can also be used for both good or bad reasons.
 
What is neuro-linguistic programming and where did it come from?
 
NLP is a psychological method that involves using body language, patterns, and expressions to gage and influence someone in one way or the other. This influence is designed to achieve a goal, either negative or positive.
 
Richard Bandler and John Grinder came up with the term “NLP” in the 70s’. Abandoning “talk therapy”, they decided to focus on tactics that bring behavioral change instead, and this is what neuro-linguistic programming was about. In fact, it’s an evolution of certain aspects of hypnotherapy.
 
But unlike hypnotherapy, which requires the subject to be under suggestion while in a trance, NLP uses subtle suggestions on the subconscious mind of a person who is wide awake. And this person never even knows it’s happening.
 
How does it work?
 
By watching slight clues, a person can use NLP to determine a few basic things about another individual. Neuro-linguistic programming looks at nervous movements, skin flush, dilation of pupils, and even the movement of the eyes. These little indicators answer three questions.
  • What sense is the person using? (sight, hearing, smell)
  • Which side of the brain is currently being used
  • How their brain storage works and how they utilize information
 
After these questions are answered, then the NPLer can mimic these. Copying these indicators helps build rapport between the two. In order to “influence” someone, it’s best to be in a sort of agreement with their body language. While it can be difficult to completely change the mindset of another person, you can use NLP to guide them toward a decision they were rolling over in their brains just by copying them.
 
However, this technique can be used on you, and you might not even know it. No matter if its manipulation or influence, it can definitely feel like you’re being unwillingly persuaded if not used in a completely positive manner – a manner that is productive leading to an improvement in your life.
 
Regardless, here are signs that say NLP is being used on you:
 
1. Copying your mannerisms
 
Pay attention to those around you. When you do certain things, or use certain body language, does someone seem to be copying those things? If you’re with a friend, is your friend doing this to you? Watch them.
 
Are they crossing their legs when you do? Are they pushing strands of hair away from their face right after you make this movement? Some people are better at covering these movements than others, but if you really watch, you will catch them.
 
2. They use the magic touch
 
Neuro-linguistic programming enables a person to have what seems to be a magic touch. For instance, if you’re upset about something and they touch your shoulder, and then, later on, they touch your shoulder again and you get upset about the same topic, they have anchored you.
 
According to Bandler and Grinder, this actually works. If you notice it happening, then you know someone is using the NLP technique on you.
 
3. They use vague language
 
If you’ve ever been hypnotized, then you’ve been under the power of vague language. This type of gibberish doesn’t mean anything. It’s used to get you into a certain state of mind. It’s not really nonsense, as far as understanding the actual words, it’s just sentences that seem to say a lot but actually say nothing.
 
Let me see if I can give you an example of this: “I see you are entering the space of your present being and letting go of what you are in the present but repeating the present in order to enter that space.” Whew, that was hard for me to concoct, but hopefully, it made no sense so I could prove my point. Anyway, NLPers use this sort of language.
 
4. The pressure to make quick decisions
 
You will notice that someone is using neuro linguistic programming when you are being pressured to make a quick decision about something. If you’re like me, you need some time to think things over before making many choices. Not everything in life can be a quick yes or no.
 
In fact, along with pressure for quick decision making, you will be pushed ever so slightly toward the answer they want to hear. Watch out, and tell them that you need more time.
5. They use layered language
 
People who are skilled in neuro-linguistic programming use layered language to get what they want. In case you don’t know what layered language is, here’s an example: “I think we should all be productive, sharp, and brave enough to make quick decisions…you know, not like slackers.”
 
Remember, I just mentioned pressuring people about making quick decisions. Well, that layered language will work in two ways, it will pressure you and it will intend to bring about guilt for needing time to think about things. Watch out for hidden tricks within sentences.
 
6. Giving permission to do what they want
 
One of the most interesting signs of those who have undergone NLP training is permission pressure. If you’re the NLPer, then maybe you want someone to give you money. Just say, “Go ahead and let go of your selfish nature. Here, try it with me”, or “Feel free to use me as next first selfless deed.”
 
While these may not be the best decisions, I think you can get the idea of what I’m saying. You’re supposed to think that your interests come first and they are important, but with negative usage of NLP, it’s the opposite.
 
You will know them by the way they give you permission to do what they want. It sounds twisty and it is. They will say, “Feel free to let yourself go and have a good time”, all the while they are getting to take advantage of you. If they happen to have good intentions, then maybe they’re truly trying to help you relax. Either way, be wary of anything like this.
 
Honestly, NLP can be used for good or bad
 
Yes, it’s true, while there are those who try to take advantage of you with neuro-linguistic programming, there are also those who use it to help you become a better person, slightly nudging you toward something you need to do. In this case, it’s a good thing.
 
If you have a good heart, you may want to learn neuro-linguistic programming to help someone. You can learn to detect when something is wrong with someone, or when you need to intervene in order to sway their decision-making process, which is rare but sometimes needed. You see, it can serve as a good tool for many people.
 
However, I will just leave it at this. You should always be aware of your surroundings, no matter what. If someone is your true friend, you will know it soon enough. If you gain the ability to use NLP, make sure you use it for the good of society and not for the bad. Let’s keep moving forward.



Sherrie Hurd

 

 

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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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publicado por achama às 18:14
Quarta-feira, 04 / 12 / 19

Could You Be Dating a Psychopath? 9 Signs to Watch out for

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted December 3, 2019.

 
Dating a Psychopath.

 



Yes, all relationships have problems, but some are far worse. Although rare, you could be dating a psychopath.

Dating has its own challenges, but when you start calling each other names, like psychopath or Maniac, it gets rough. Yes, it is possible that you could be dating a psychopathic person, but you really don’t know until you’ve researched the illness. In fact, the psychopath has physical differences which can be seen when looking at the brain. Of course, only a doctor can do this. As for the outer signs…

Are you dating a psychopath?
Let’s be honest, people throw around titles for others just because of a few strange characteristics. We often hear someone say, “He’s a narcissist”, or “She’s so bipolar”. You should never call each other derogatory names, especially if those names are real conditions. Those are serious personality issues and the person doing this could be just as sick as the other. So, how do we know the truth about these things?
Signs of the psychopath:
1. They have charisma…at first

A psychopath will not come over as a rude or uncaring person, well, not at first. In fact, they will be the most amazing person to be around, with their charm and social magnetism.

Everyone who encounters the psychopath on a friendship level will think they are one of the best people around, and they will continue to think this until they cross into certain areas of the psychopath’s life where truths emerge. A psychopath can hold this charismatic personality well for long periods of time, even years.
2. They make rash decisions

You may pick up on the true character of the psychopath when you pay attention to how they make decisions. This type of person is usually impulsive, giving little thought to the things they want to do. You may notice they don’t ask your opinion about much of anything. They just tell you what they’re about to do, or even do it before you even know what’s happened.
3. Manipulation

One of the most common attributes of the psychopath is manipulation. If they want something, they will do almost anything to get it, but most of all, they will use manipulative tactics. They will tell you that giving in to something makes you love them more, or truly love them, and if you don’t, then…you don’t love them at all.

They play upon your feelings this way, making it incredibly hard to deny them, and if you do, they will make sure you feel their passive-aggressive wrath. You see, not all psychopaths are killers, like from the movies. Some of them kill you emotionally by ignoring you or doing things intentionally to hurt you. All of this comes by the weapon of, you guessed it, manipulation.
4. They are always bored

The psychopath needs constant stimulation. If they don’t receive it, they will be looking for something or someone else to stimulate them. Unlike some of us who can be content with doing nothing sometimes, this is impossible for them.

They always have to be playing games, going out, being active, getting attention – you name it. It’s really hard to keep the psychopath interested for long before they’re whining about how bored they are or they are off and running with impulsive behavior again.

5. They disobey authority

That impulsivity that I mentioned above, yes, that can lead to disobeying the law, which is another sign you could be dating a psychopath. They usually disregard the speed limit and they usually play on their phones while driving. They may be drug users or alcoholics even.

But if you pay attention, you will notice, they break the law in some way if they are psychotic. It’s a combination of being bored, ego, and other aspects of their personality disorder.
6. They are pathological liars

Accuse a psychopath of lying and they will deny it, all the time. They hardly ever admit to being deceitful, and they are good at covering up the things they do with even more lies.

At first, you may even think you’re going crazy for accusing them of lies, but eventually, you will see the depth of their deception, and it will astound you. If you’re dating a pathological liar, there is a good chance that this person is also a psychopath.
7. They’re usually cheaters too

Most psychopaths find it extremely hard to be faithful, and when they cheat, they usually don’t care either. In fact, they will be unfaithful to one partner and also be unfaithful to the one they’re cheating with, which goes back to the boredom and impulsive aspect of their character.

There’s nothing wrong with you, never think that it’s just who they are. The sooner you realize the truth, the better. Their unfaithfulness may not only cost your feelings, but their promiscuity can also cost your life if they are having unsafe sex…which they probably will be.
8. Irresponsibility

The psychopath holds no responsibility for anything. They are the type of person who, when confronted, denies everything. No matter what they’ve done, even if it’s just leaving a towel on the floor, they will try and either deny it, blame it on someone else or justify how it was someone else’s fault that they left it there.


I’ve seen this behavior before and it’s both horrifying and strangely funny. If it wasn’t so sad, I would probably laugh and walk away. They can actually wipe their conscious away just so easily.
9. Arrogant

A psychopath is an arrogant person. After they initially sweep you off your feet, you will start to realize this arrogant attribute a little more every day. Eventually, they will be so arrogant that nothing can stand in their way. If you’re not careful, this will erode your self-esteem. You have to try and remain a strong and stable person to withstand their arrogance and survive the psychopath.
Dating a psychopath? You have choices to make…fast

If you are dating such a person, chances are, they will not change. I’m sorry. You see, it’s not just about generational teachings or the environment with this one. The psychopath really does have a different brain than the normal person, as I mentioned above.

Where you or I might have a physical and mental reaction to violence, the psychopath can remain calm. And yes, this fact can be terrifying. It’s the answer to so many of their personality traits like constant boredom, impulsive behavior, and cheating. There usually is no remorse.

I hate to say that there is no hope at all with the psychopath simply because I never like giving up on anyone, but you might seriously consider your future with someone like this. If you feel threatened at all, then leaving is a priority. Also, if you do leave, be careful because the psychopath doesn’t easily let go. Just a fair warning.

So, in a nutshell, and as always, check the signs, get support, and do what’s best for YOU.

I wish you well.
References
:
  1. https://research.unt.edu
  2. https://www.webmd.com
 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

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publicado por achama às 09:17
Quinta-feira, 28 / 11 / 19

9 Signs of a Scam Artist and Manipulation Tools They Use

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

November 27th, 2019.

 
scam artist signs.
 
 

 
 
I’ve always been interested in the darker side of a person’s personality, particularly deviant behaviour. I want to know why someone might stray from the straight and narrow. So I often watch programmes about scam artists and their victims. And I think to myself, how did they fall for their tricks? Do they use specific tools to manipulate a person? Do they have to have particular character traits to pull off a scam? Is there a perfect victim? Well, all of the above is true. But before we examine the signs of a scam artist, let’s look at the type of person they target.
 
The Perfect Time for Scam Artists
 
Unfortunately, anyone can fall victim to a scam artist. We are all incredibly busy these days. We don’t have the time to scrutinise every email or text or phone call. Furthermore, scam artists are targeting us from every conceivable angle.
 
Decades ago, a con-artist would have to be confident and articulate. They would have to have face-to-face communication skills to convince someone to part with their cash. In fact, we get the term con-man from ‘confidence-man’. But things have changed massively.
 
These days, we talk to people who are thousands of miles away without even seeing them. Likewise, there are many different forms of communication. And that’s a major difference for our time.
 
In the past, a con-man would have to face his victim. He (or she) would see, up close and personal, the damage done as a result of their con. Now, scammers are people sat far away, in their tracksuits, targeting anonymous people who they have no emotional connection to at all.
 
As a result, anyone and everyone are under constant attack. If our wits are down our defences are wide open.
 
So who is a perfect victim for a scam artist?
 
Scam artists will look for a certain victim-type, depending on the scam they want to pull off. It is important to remember that a victim of a scam is not stupid. This is because scammers play to our emotions, not our intelligence. So, anyone who is in a vulnerable state is, particularly at risk.
 
For example, a person who has recently lost their job, a partner, a child. Someone who is going through a major life upheaval. But also positive things can make you vulnerable. For instance, a run of extremely good luck can skew your judgment.
 
Successful scams all hinge on desire over rationality. Victims of scams often don’t want to know a lot of details about the scam. They just need to know the outcome. In other words, will they be better off?
 
“Victims don’t look for why the offer is a scam; they look for why the offer will make them money. They want you to make them feel good so they can pull the trigger.” Anonymous scammer
9 Signs of a Scam Artist and Their Manipulation Tools
They use your name
 
Using a person’s first name is a powerful way to emotionally connect with someone. It instantly creates a bond between two people. You feel special, as if you are important to that person, particularly if it is your first meeting.
 
They mirror your body language
 
This is a classic manipulation tool that scammers use. By copying your body language, the scam artist is subconsciously forming an attachment with you. You feel attracted to them but you are not sure why.
 
‘We’re in this together’
 
‘We’re in this together.’ ‘You and I are going to be rich.’ ‘We’re gonna make a lot of money.’ Firstly, why would someone want to share their wealth with you? Particularly if you are a stranger to them?
 
Human beings tend to want to hoard their wealth so be very wary if a complete stranger wants to include you in a money-making scheme. Secondly, you’ll feel more like a team and less like you are alone in any risk-taking activity.
 
But there’s always a time limit
 
You often see unscrupulous salespeople do this in order to close a deal. There’s this fantastic offer on hand, but, you have to sign on the dotted line within an hour or the deal is gone. This tactic plays on the FOMO effect. We don’t want to miss out on a great deal. Listen, no deal is that good it doesn’t stand up to scrutiny and time spent away reflecting on it.
 
You’ll win a little at first
 
To get you to sign up to whatever scam is going, you will win a small amount of money in the short-term. This is done to build your confidence. It is also done to lock you into a situation. Now you are tied into a scheme. You are invested, literally and figuratively. You have a psychological need to continue. Of course, it won’t last.
 
Scam artists are good listeners
 
You might think that the majority of scammers are skilled in communication, but having good listening skills is equally important. The reason they listen a lot is that they need to know what will seal the deal for you and what a deal breaker is.
 
They’ll show their imperfections
 
Studies show that we trust a person that is not perfect. In the beginning, a scam artist will let you in on a little flaw of theirs that shows their imperfections. Of course, it won’t be a massive thing to put you off. I mean, they won’t confide that they are a psychopath who has just killed their mother. It will be just small enough to earn your trust.
 
Scammers start off small
 
Romance con-artists tend to ask for small amounts of money which then get bigger and bigger over time. The reasons can vary from paying off small debts to helping stop bankruptcy. Although the amounts may begin under 100 pounds or dollars, the victim can end up giving away their life-savings of over hundreds of thousands.
A scam artist will count on your embarrassment
 
Why do so many scams go unpunished or unprosecuted? Because the victim feels so embarrassed about being conned. And this is what the scammer is depending on. We often see elderly victims of scams refusing to come forward because they feel so ashamed about being scammed.
 
Final Thoughts
 
With so many scam artists out there, it is important to keep our wits about us. Probably the most important advice is that if a deal seems too good to be true, it is.
 

References:

  1. thebalance.com
  2. www.vox.com
  3. www.rd.com

 
Janey Davies

 





About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
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publicado por achama às 09:33
Domingo, 17 / 11 / 19

The Illusion of Truth and How Liars and Manipulators Are Using It to Trick You

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted November 17, 2019.

 

 

 
 
Maybe what you’re hearing is not factional information. You could be the victim of the illusion of truth.
 
Truth is the truth and a lie is a lie, right? Well, it can get a little blurry at times. Yes, we all have problems with recognizing the truth from lies, but sometimes it’s because we’re dealing with manipulators.
 
To make things worse, liars and manipulators are using the illusion of truth to convince us that what they say, or omit, is fact. Their tactics seem to be working better than ever.
 
What Is the Illusion of Truth?
 
The illusion of truth is not just a statement in a sentence describing how someone deceived you.
 
Psychologist Tom Stafford has shared a secret with us about this illusion. He says the secret of avoiding lies is to avoid repetition. Yes, some of the best liars and manipulators use repetition toinstill a sort of familiarity in the brain. What seems familiar often seems truthful, wouldn’t you think?
 
This way of thinking has been coined the illusion of truth effect. It works by comparing truth with a lie, by only changing a small portion of the lie to resemble a second truth.
 
Let’s look at an example. The truth would be, “A penny is brown”, and a lie would be “a dime is brown”. I guess this one is a little too obvious, but it can easily be twisted if the dime just happens to be tarnished or covered with something. This would actually be a breeze for a liar.
 
Now, back to repetition. If you were told the lie about the coins once, and then again, you might believe it, especially if your perception was off.
 
However, it would be easier to fool someone with repetition by using fruits or vegetables. You can convince someone that peanuts grow on trees if you repeat it enough and show nothing to prove otherwise. I believe it’s how politicians pass off lies for the truth for so long and develop quite a large following.
 
Now, this effect may be interesting, but in the worst of hands, it can prove to be catastrophic to the lives of honest people. When toxic people, such as manipulators, learn the ability to lie in this manner, they can lie in all sorts of ways.
 
Here are ways the illusion of truth is used by manipulators:
 
Rationalization
 
Some people are easily convinced and manipulated by people who use rationalization. When it comes to lying, rationalization is a way to hide the inner lies.
 
For example, if you confront someone about their behavior, they may try to rationalize why it happened. If something missing is found in a man’s coat pocket, he may never admit that he stole the item. 
 
Instead, he may say something like this,
 
“Oh, I don’t know how that got in there. I did let a friend of mine use my coat when they came over.”
 
The truth is, the man stole the item, maybe a broach or even money. He passes the blame to an unknown friend and then rationalizes how the item got into his pocket.
 
This same person probably uses the same strategy whenever he is caught red-handed. No matter what he’s done wrong, he rationalizes and shows that there was a perfectly honest reason for what happened.
 
Minimalization
 
This tactic which shows how the illusion of truth can be used focuses mostly on making real lies seem like nothing.
 
Many people lie about where they are or what they’re doing. When their loved ones or partners find out the truth, they try to minimalize the situation likes it’s no big deal. One thing that might be said when someone is confronted about lying about being at a concert is,
 
“It’s not such a big deal. I just didn’t want you to worry about me being in that large crowd.”
 
Whether this is the real reason or not, it’s still a lie, and usually, when someone does this once, they have always done it and will always keep doing it as long as the situation isn’t improved. A lie is a lie, no matter how small. This, we must remember.
 
Omittance
 
Have you ever heard someone you love tell a story, and then later hear a whole lot more that they left out. The part they left out, yes, that part was the part that they knew would make you upset. To keep you happy with them, they omitted a part of their story. Do you know what this is? It’s lying.
 
Yes, I’m sorry to inform you, but omittance is lying, just like telling a stark lie. If you have information that you purposefully hold back, you are doing nothing less than hiding the truth from the ones you love.
 
It’s a prime example of the illusion we’re given in place of the truth. It’s as if the important information had become invisible.
 
Persuasion
 
There are ways of persuasion that can make lies seem like truth. Persuasion creates an illusion by reasoning and speaking of one’s own good reputations. When lies seem attractive, they also start to look like truth, depending on how much persuasion is being used and in what manner.
 
For instance, if someone does and speaks many good things, then it’s easier to believe that they would be honest. Unfortunately, sometimes these are the ones who lie the most. The good deeds and persuasive talk are ways of covering their heinous acts.
Don’t be fooled
 
I will be honest with you, I think I’m dealing with most of these tactics in my life right now. I will keep quiet about which people are doing this. Anyway, the illusion of what seems to be true looks so much like the real thing that you can go years before learning the truth behind the falsities.
 
The best way to recognize when the illusion of the truth is being used against you is to become educated and watch for the signs. There are many red flagsthat will help you become alert and ready for the lies. When they happen, then it’s up to you about whether or not you will tolerate the disrespect.
 
Are you being tricked?
 
References:
Sherrie Hurd
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 
 
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 21:14
Domingo, 10 / 11 / 19

Milgram Obedience Study and What It Reveals about Human Nature

Lottie Miles.

learning-mind.com

Posted November 10th, 2019.

 
milgram obedience study.

 



Yale University psychologist Stanley Milgram conducted his famous series of experiments widely known as Obedience Study almost 60 years ago. The ethics of the experiment have since been subject to criticism. However, it raised important questions about the power of authority in achieving obedience.
 
In this article, we take a look at the Milgram Experiment and what it reveals about human nature. We will also look at the counter-arguments which criticize Milgram’s ethics and dispute his results.
 
What Is the Milgram Obedience Study?
 
The Obedience Study refers to a set of psychology experiments conducted by Milgram. It intended to investigate the relationship between obedience to authority and personal conscience.
 
Milgram’s interest in conducting this study was sparked by the trial of Adolph Eichmann, a Nazi war criminal who was one of the main organizers of the Holocaust. Milgram wanted to find out how humans are capable of committing atrocities that go so far beyond their personal conscience.
 
Participants for Milgram’s experiments were recruited by a newspaper advert and were all male. All participants were given the role of “teacher” and were put in control of an electroshock generator.
 
They were instructed by the “experimenter” to ask the “learner” questions. If they answered them incorrectly, they should deliver a shock to them. Moreover, they would increase this shock by 15 volts with each wrong answer (with the increase leading to shocks that could be fatal).
 
The electric shocks were, in fact, fake and the “learner” in each experiment was part of the research team. So they would act out sounds of pain and plead for the experiment to stop.
 
When participants asked the experimenter whether they should stop the shocks (which the majority did) they were told these commands:
  1. Please continue.
  2. The experiment requires that you continue.
  3. It is absolutely essential that you continue.
  4. You have no other choice, you must go on.
 
What did the Milgram Obedience Study reveal about human nature?
 
The results of the Milgram Obedience Study were that two-thirds of participants (62.5%) delivered the maximum electric shock (450 volts, a shock that could have killed), and a third of participants stopped at 300 volts.
 
The observations showed that participants displayed significant signs of stress during the experiment. All participants stopped to question the experiment and some even offered to return the money they were to be paid so that the experiment would stop.
 
Milgram summed up that the results of the experiment showed that obedience is instilled in us all from an early age due to the way we are raised. Suggesting that, the instruction received by an authority figure, which the individual has deemed to be legally or morally authorized to give such instruction, would lead to obedience.
 
In the case of the Milgram Obedience Study, the authority figure was the experimental scientist and the results of the experiment, Milgram suggested, revealed that stark authority won over a participant’s strong imperative against hurting others. For many, the study revealed an illuminating aspect of human nature.
 
What is wrong with Milgram’s research?
 
Milgram’s research is widely cited and referenced within the field of psychology. Still, both the ethics and the methodology of the study have received ample criticism. Ethically, critics of the study believe that the intense stress levels that Milgram’s participants went through were unacceptable.
 
In addition to this, audio recordings of Milgram’s experiments (which were discovered by psychologist Gina Perry) demonstrate that, in some experiments, the ‘experimenter’ broke away from the set script and used bullying and coercion to force the participants to continue delivering the electric shocks. Perry also found that the majority of participants were not thoroughly debriefed after the traumatic experiment.
 
Methodologically, Milgram’s research has also received much criticism. The 62.5% statistic was used to prove Milgram’s theory of the power of authority on obedience. However, this study was based on the results of just 40 participants. This is too low a number to draw any concrete conclusions.
 
Further experiments conducted by Milgram often had conflicting methodologies with different scenarios and a variance in the severity of the experimenter. The lack of standardization makes the experiments difficult to compare. However, when looking at the 23 experiments as a whole, the average rate of obedience falls to 43%. This is significantly lower than the widely cited statistic of 62.5%.
 
What do current obedience studies say?
 
Despite the criticisms of the Milgram Obedience Study, this pioneering study did pave the way for further research into the causes of destructive obedience and the impact of this on world events and individual lives.
 
 
Research from the University of St. Andrews in Scotland suggests that human obedience to destructive activities is not solely in response to authority, an individual must also have strong ideological links with that authority figure and agree with the orders being given to them.
 
This theory does not completely dispute the work of Milgram, however. It deters from the ‘banality of evil’ idea that ordinary people are capable of committing terrible atrocities purely through following the orders of an authority figure.
 
The Milgram Obedience Study raised important questions about what leads individuals to obey orders. It also paved the way for further investigations into the power of authority on human behavior.
 
 
References:
  1. https://theconversation.com
  2. https://psycnet.apa.org
  3. Image credit: Yale University
 
Lottie Miles
 





 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 23:06
Terça-feira, 05 / 11 / 19

How to Deal with Toxic People the Way Intelligent People Do

Lottie Miles.

learning-mind.com

Posted November 4th, 2019.

 
HOW TO DEAL WITH TOXIC PEOPLE.

 

 
Life comes with its ups and downs and navigating our way through these is not always easy. One of the key factors which can affect our well-being and sense of self-worth is having a toxic person in our lives. But what exactly is a toxic person? More to the point, what should you do if you have one in your life? In this post, we explore how to deal with toxic people in a smart way.
 
Who Are Toxic People?
 
Anyone can be moody or alter their behavior due to circumstances going on in their life. However, a toxic person is one of the following:
 
 
Unfortunately, it is likely that you will have come across such a person either in your personal or professional life (or both).
 
Knowing how to deal with toxic people can go a long way in managing these relationships in your life. In this post, we take a look at some techniques used by emotionally intelligent people when faced with toxic people. You can draw on these techniques the next time you encounter a toxic person.
 
How Smart People Deal with Toxic People
 
Do not justify their behavior
 
The behavior of a toxic person towards yourself is unjustifiable. However, it can be easy to make excuses for someone. Especially if perhaps they are going through some hardship in their life.
 
We can all relate to a certain level of moodiness or snappiness. Still, if someone is being actively nasty to you this is unacceptable. Excusing a toxic person’s behavior only causes you to doubt yourself. Moreover, it is likely to have a detrimental effect on your well-being.
 
Distance yourself from that person
 
A person who takes pleasure from making you feel bad is not a person that deserves your time and attention. Ask yourself, does this ring true for any of your personal relationships? If so, then it might be time to distance yourself from this toxic person. Understandably, this is easier said than done.
 
At the same time, think about the effect this person is having on your well-being. To say nothing of how you would feel if you no longer had to deal with their behavior towards you.
 
Ultimately, there are different ways to deal with a toxic person. For certain people, the right decision may be to cut them out altogether. This is if circumstances allow it and the time is right for you.
 
Establish boundaries
 
For others, cutting a toxic person out of their life is not a realistic solution. In this instance, establishing some boundaries might be the way forward. Make the toxic person aware of the impact of their actions and behavior. While this is no easy task, it may help them to realize that you are no pushover.
 
 
Establishing boundaries is also about putting yourself in control. You decide when and where you will encounter the person. You can ensure there is a time limit on these occasions. This will help you to prepare mentally for this meeting and put you in the driving seat.
 
Plan your reaction
 
This brings us to the next method of dealing with toxic people. Once you have established boundaries, you will be able to prepare how you will react for whatever the person in question has to throw at you.
 
If you know that they are partial to criticize you for a particular aspect of your life, or they have a particular method of upsetting you then prepare how you will respond to this in advance.
 
Whether it be practising relaxation techniques or preparing your response word for word, it will put you in better control of the situation.
 
Get support
 
Perhaps the most important piece of advice when it comes to dealing with some really toxic people is to get support from those who are positive forces in your life. Whether it be at work or in your personal life.
 
Identifying those individuals that bring you strength will help to build your barriers up against the person who is challenging you with their toxicity.
 
Not only this, it is helpful to draw on support around you to get a different perspective on the issue. Here you can gain useful advice and insights to help you deal with those toxic people in your life.
 
Value yourself
 
Finally, another important way to deal with toxic people is to recognize your own value. Through acknowledging your own self-worth and owning it you can build your resistance to whatever toxicity is thrown at you.
 
Taking their comments and insults with a grain of salt will reduce the impact that a toxic person has on you. Allowing you to elevate your inner worth above anything that they have to say.
 
Final Thoughts
 
Learning how to deal with toxic people is, unfortunately, a skill that we can all benefit from. Recognizing those that bring toxicity to our lives and putting measures in place to reduce the negative impact that has on us is essential for our well-being.
 
Make sure you are aware of the toxic people around you. More importantly, seek professional support immediately for any behavior that goes beyond toxicity to abuse.
 
References:
 
 
Lottie Miles
 





 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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publicado por achama às 00:28
Segunda-feira, 04 / 11 / 19

Freedom of Thought is Under Attack — Here’s How to Save Your Mind

By Simon McCarthy-Jones,

The Conversation.

Thanks to The Mind Unleashed.

Posted November 4th, 2019
 
.

 

 
TO LOSE FREEDOM OF THOUGHT WOULD BE TO LOSE SOMETHING UNIQUELY HUMAN.
 
 
(CONVERSATION Opinion) — Freedom of thought stands at a critical crossroads. Technological and psychological advances could be used to promote free thought. They could shield our inner worlds, reduce our mental biases, and create new spaces for thought. Yet states and corporations are forging these advances into weapons that restrict what we think.
 
To lose freedom of thought would be to lose something uniquely human. We share our basic emotions with animals. But only we can step back and ask “do I want to be angry?”, “do I want to be that person?”, “couldn’t I be better?”.
 
We can reflect whether the thoughts, feelings and desires that bubble up within us are consistent with our own goals, values and ideals. If we agree they are, then this makes them more truly our own. We can then act authentically.
 
But we may also conclude that some thoughts that pop into our heads are a force other than our own. You sit down to do your work and “Check Facebook!” flashes through your mind. Did that thought come from you or from Mark Zuckerberg?
 
Freedom of thought demands dignity, enables democracy, and is part of what makes us a person. To safeguard it, we must first recognise its enemies.
 
Three Threats to Freedom of Thought
 
The first threat comes from advances in psychology. Research has created new understandings of what influences our thoughts, behaviours, and decision making.
 
States and corporations use this knowledge to make us think and act in a way that serves their goals. These may differ to ours. They use this knowledge to make us gamble more, buy more, and spend more time on social media. It may even be used to swing elections.
 
The second threat comes from the application of machine learning algorithms to “big data”. When we provide data to companies we allow them to see deep inside us. This makes us more vulnerable to manipulation, and when we realise our privacy is being compromised, this chills our ability to think freely.
 
The third threat comes from a growing ability to decode our thoughts from our brain activity. Facebook, Microsoft, and Neuralink are developing brain-computer interfaces. This could create machines that will read our thoughts. But creating unprecedented access to our thoughts creates unprecedented threats to our freedom.
 
These advances in technology and psychology are opening the doors for states and corporations to violate, manipulate, and punish our thoughts. So, what can we do about it?
 
 
The Law Can Save Us
 
International human rights law gives the right to freedom of thought. Yet, this right has been almost completely neglected. It is hardly ever invoked in the courtroom. We need to work out what we want this right to mean so we can use it to protect ourselves.
 
We should use it to defend mental privacy. Otherwise conformity pressures will impede our free play of ideas and search for truth. We should use it to prevent our thoughts being manipulated, either through psychological tricks or through threatened punishment.
 
And we should use it to protect thought in all of its forms. Thought isn’t just what happens in our heads. Sometimes we think by writing or by doing a Google search. If we recognise these activities as “thought” then they should qualify for absolute privacy under the right to freedom of thought.
 
Finally, we should use this right to demand that governments create societies that allow us to think freely. This is where psychology can help.
 
 
Preventing Manipulation
 
Better understanding our minds can help protect us from manipulation by others. For example, the psychologist Daniel Kahneman distinguishes between what we could call “rule-of-thumb” and “rule-of-reason” thinking.
 
Rule-of-thumb thinking involves effortless and ancient mental processes that allow us to make quick decisions. The price of this speed can be mistakes. In contrast, rule-of-reason thinking is a slow, consciously controlled process, often based in language. It takes longer, but can be more accurate.
 
This suggests that creating speed bumps in our thinking could help improve decision making. Clicking unthinkingly on content or adverts from corporations doesn’t allow us to exercise freedom of thought. We do not have time to work out if our desires are our own or those of a puppet master.
 
We must also change our environment into one that supports autonomy. Such an environment would allow us to create our own reasons for our actions, minimise external controls like rewards and punishments, and encourage choice, participation and shared decision making.
 
Technology can help create such an environment. But whose responsibility is it to implement this?
 
 
Taking Action
 
Governments must help citizens learn from a young age about how the mind works. They must structure society to facilitate free thought. And they have a duty to stop those, including corporations, who would violate the right to freedom of thought.
 
Corporations must play their part. They should state freedom of thought as a policy commitment. They should perform due diligence on how their activities may harm freedom of thought. They could be required to declare the psychological tricks they are using to try and shape our behaviour.
 
And we the people must educate ourselves. We must promote and support free-thought values. We must condemn those turning one of our species’ greatest strengths, our sociality, into one of our greatest weaknesses by using it as a means of data extraction. We must vote with our feet and wallets against those who violate our freedom of thought.
 
All this assumes that we want freedom of thought. But do we? Many of us would literally rather electrocute ourselves than sit quietly with our thoughts.
 
Would many of us also prefer governments and corporations do our thinking for us, serving up predictions and nudges for us to simply follow? Would many of us be happy for freedom of thought to be limited if it led to increased security? How much do we want freedom of thought and what are we prepared to sacrifice for it?
 
Simply put, do we still want to be human? Or has the pain, effort and responsibility of one of our signature abilities, free thought, become too much for us to bear? If it has, it is neither clear what will become of us nor clear what we will become.
 
 

.

 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 20:31
Domingo, 03 / 11 / 19

Controlled Manipulation

by Teri Wade.

facebook.com/teri.wade.1610.

November 2, 2019.


 


 
The 3D facade...
 
Currently there is a planetary transformation going on within the main players who have controlled and dominated our world for eons. There is a major shakeup in the hierarchy of the main controller groups which is revealing the darkest underbelly of deception and disturbing abuses of power, bribery, corruption that’s leading us to the disturbing truth of satanic ritual practices.
 
For those who are unprepared for the layers of disclosure and the revelation of truth within the hierarchy in politics, finance, government, entertainment etc. these will be painful and desperate times for many.
 
Many are starting to see through the 3D facade and the gross abuse of power and deceptions. This facade has been veiled by the main stream media in an attempt to brainwash Humanity into thinking a certain way.
 
Many are breaking away from the main stream media and their many veins of narratives. People are seeking truth and alternatives to this deception. We are finding out the ugly and incredibly painful truths that the mainstream media has been hiding from the human population.
 
We are in the phase of dismantling the control system and observing the shakedown of what has been hiding behind the 3D facade. As the internal fighting for control continues it will reveal everyday the true nature of this reality.
 
This is the time to be brave, courageous and self-aware. We are all in this together and it’s a natural biological process for all human beings to have the ability to evolve our consciousness to evolve past the need for constant survival.
 
Everybody should be asking themselves how did the human race get to the state of consciousness were in? How did we create these conditions on Earth? How are world leaders chosen and how do they remain in power? How did Earthlings become defined to the intergalactic community as warmongers, crucifiers, killers of life and nature without remorse? When we asked these sort of questions we will be faced with that proverbial rabbit hole that so many choose to ignore.
 
We need to detach and release ourselves from the confines of service to self, dark ignorance, attachment to material things, suffering, and the state of soul disconnection. The same states that reinforce the continued cycles of death and reincarnation into the lower realms without conscious memory, wiping our identities and detaching us from spiritual connection. Keeping us slaves to the matter world.
 
We are in the process of shifting human consciousness from the low vibrational matter worlds to the higher vibrational spiritual worlds. What would our lives be like if we could tap into that repository of information of our past lives and past worlds we’ve experienced? This is the groundwork we are laying for the future direction of the human race as we evolve into this ascending timeline.
 
Higher consciousness is higher intelligence, higher awareness and refined thought. When we gain access to our soul and our spiritual forces this brings incredible insight and abilities that humanity couldn’t even fathom in the lower dimensional worlds. Right now many of you are experiencing duel states of consciousness. This has to do with your physical body’s calibration process to these incoming higher frequencies. These simultaneous states of consciousness is a testament to the multi-dimensional beings we truly are.
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

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publicado por achama às 05:02
Quarta-feira, 12 / 06 / 19

5 Signs the Illusion of Control Is Ruining Your Life and How to Stop It ~ Sherrie.

5 Signs the Illusion of Control Is Ruining Your Life and How to Stop It.

By Sherrie.

June 11th, 2019

 

If you think you’re in control of life, think again. The illusion of control, although sometimes positive, can have negative consequences.
Sometimes, to be honest, I believe that people who do wrong toward others are punished. Hey, maybe they are. As for me, if I fall into the illusion of control in this aspect, I spend much of my time thinking that I will be avenged at every insult or attack. That’s a waste of time.
The illusion of being in control can definitely be positive, as it gives us the confidence to handle a situation. It can also be negative because we cannot possibly handle every situation. The truth is, some things are out of our control completely. Our acceptance of this fact is important.

How the illusion of control ruins our lives

If you go even deeper than that, you find those who live every day thinking they’re in control of the entirety of their existence, which isn’t true.
There are signs that the illusion and trickery of control have taken over, pushing them toward a chaotic and stressful existence. Here are a few examples.

1. Paranoia

Paranoia is a sign that you are under the illusion that you control things. You might think you’re in control, but maybe you are just watching your life unfold naturally, good or bad. If your spells and incantations don’t work, then the illusion of control will tell you that someone has transpired to bring you bad luck.
Or they could be following you, trying to do harm, or even ruin your future. If you depend on charms or other luck bringing aspects to stay in control, you could be fooling yourself.
Your paranoia could get ridiculous if not checked. If someone you love is always paranoid, you could be dealing with someone who feels like they are losing this control they once had.

2. Dwelling in the past

Someone who dwells too long on past events may be living under the illusion that they could have controlled certain situations.
When you live your life, you make mistakes. Over time, these mistakes become part of the past. Some of them affect us and our loved ones deeply. The illusion of control makes us think that if only we could go back in time and change things, that life would be different.
And maybe life would be different, but dwelling on this fact creates a fantasy world that is unhealthy to live in. If you’re constantly reliving the past and rehearsing different ways you could have approached situations, you really are ruining your life right now.
You may even look back at “now” and wish you could have changed that too.

3. Abuse

You see this is relationships when one person tries to control the actions of another. But when it all boils down to it, you cannot really control anyone. Eventually, they will do what they want anyway.
If you notice one person in the relationship trying to control the other, this is abuse. They are also under the illusion that they are in control. They’re not really in control and they never will be.

4. Cosmetic surgery obsession

You know the ones, the women and men who keep getting facelifts, tummy tucks, and breast augmentation. Yes, those individuals can be obsessed. These people think they are in total control of how they appear and how long they will remain beautiful.
The truth is, cosmetic surgery does work, to some extent, but it cannot keep us alive forever.
We have yet to discover the fountain of youth and until we do, we will age, and we will die. That’s the simple and concise truth of the matter. Plastic surgery can ruin our lives by keeping us locked into getting more and more changes and leaving us always unsatisfied.

5. Reckless behavior

You will recognize those who suffer from the illusion of total control by their reckless behavior. These individuals actually think that they are invincible.
I thought like this when I was around 18 years old. They walk down dark alleyways, drive super fast on the freeway, and even indulge in drugs and alcohol.
They really think they are in control at all times, and they will even get furious if you try to stop them. You know these people well. You can tell by their restlessness and boredom.

How can we stop thinking this way?

It’s not easy to break out of a mindset that’s been imprinted upon us from an early age. But, if you can manage to see things from a different perspective, you can learn to actually gain self-control over your illusion of control, if you get my drift.
Utilizing self-control helps you see logic instead of fantasy. It helps you realize that you are no more powerful, invincible, immortal or lucky than the rest of us.
Once you’ve realized this fact, you can focus on really enjoying a good life. Life is full of so many wonderful things, some far out of our control. So, for what we cannot control, I hope we can reach a place of acceptance. I think there we can find the peace we so deserve.
References:
  1. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu
  2. https://www.sciencedaily.com
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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publicado por achama às 02:48
Quinta-feira, 06 / 06 / 19

When Blaming Others for Your Failures, Consider These Uncomfortable Truths ~ Sherrie.

When Blaming Others for Your Failures, Consider These Uncomfortable Truths.

By Sherrie.

June 6th, 2019

 

Excruciating pain at a turning point of our lives will make us stop blaming others. Until then, we will be empty.
Thinking back as far as I can pick out times when I refused to take the blame for things. I remember tantrums in my teenage years, but usually, it was because I didn’t get something I wanted. I think blaming others came later on during my early adulthood when I blamed my shortcomings on the way I was being treated.

Why are we prone to blaming others?

Yes, negative treatment will make you feel victimized, and you will blame others for your future misfortune, but at some point, you must take responsibility. But there are darker, more selfish reasons for blaming everything on others.
Let’s take a look at why we do this hurtful thing, shall we?

1. To attack others

As heartbreaking as it is, attacking others is a way of hurting them to avoid taking responsibility. When approached about something they’ve done, irresponsible people become defensive and lash out.
They don’t have to be a narcissistic person. They could just be afraid of the consequences of their bad behavior, and they’re looking for a way out of the mess. Placing blame on others and flipping the situation may have become a natural defense mechanism.

2. Truth found in narcissistic behavior

I know a man, who, when angry, claims to feel no remorse for his outbursts. You can see the lack of empathy when he yells and throws tantrums that I recognize from my children’s early years.
The first time I heard this outburst, I was taken aback – I was shocked by the pitch and tone of his bellows. Something shifted between us in that moment.
I’ve heard this very man call others narcissists, when in fact, he fit much of the characteristics of this toxic personality. The truth is, it wasn’t always his fault, he was raised to take no responsibility for his actions. He used blaming all others as the only way he could feel healthy self-esteem.

3. Why can’t we accept failures?

I want you to know that it’s okay to be imperfect, and it’s also okay to let the world know this. Failure is just a part of life, and being open and honest about your shortcomings is a step toward growth and strength. It’s a strength that no one can take away from you. It’s an inner honesty with who we really are.
When we cannot accept failure, we cannot accept that we are imperfect. Most people who do this have created a facade that they show others. If someone manages to get close enough to them and sees the truth, they will lash out.
This is because the perfection they display is being threatened to be revealed. This can be devastating to those who are stuck in blaming and shaming others.

4. It’s easy and it’s lazy

It’s so much easier to blame all others for your mistakes. After all, who wants to take the time for self-analysis? We don’t want the consequences that come with being caught in a shady situation or making a mistake when brushing it off with lies ends the conversation faster.
Most of the time, unfortunately, those who play the blame game learned this dynamic early in life, and use it all through adulthood.
They alienate partners and fail at long-term relationships. They are sometimes remarkably gifted at hiding this about themselves, sometimes as long as two years into the union, but after that, the mask starts to fall off revealing some of the most childish and heinous behavior you have ever seen.

5. There’s no moral compass

Usually, those who have the habit of blaming and criticizing others are doing so to have the freedom to act in any way they want. They cover up things, they lie, and they avoid any sort of confrontation at all costs.
If they are religious or spiritual, they love to attend worship services as long as love is the subject of teaching. But as soon, as self-discipline and accountability are introduced, they proclaim they are being controlled.
Morality, standards, dignity, and loyalty, among others, are things they purposely overlook. After all, these things will interfere in their agenda, as I stated before. So, they start to downgrade spiritual aspects in life, but they do not convict themselves for the things they need to fix in their lives.
As frightening as it may seem, the doctrine they once followed will change according to their selfish needs instead of doing the right thing.

Hope for individuals who blame their actions on others

While it’s not easy to change what’s learned between birth and 7 years of age, psychology states that these years are the most impressionable years of a person’s life. What they are taught frame how they will approach things during their later life. So, this means, blaming others has become a deep imprint.
To help those who always blame their failures on others, therapy, intervention, and accountability is a must. At home, be careful not to fall victim to fear when they grow furious. Don’t invade their space, but certainly stand your ground.
Remember, it’s okay to feel a little sad when we fail, but it’s not okay to pass the buck to another. Let’s strive to be better people.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://hbr.org
 
 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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publicado por achama às 17:48
Terça-feira, 04 / 06 / 19

5 Tools of Narcissistic Triangulation: Is Someone Doing This to You? ~ Sherrie.

5 Tools of Narcissistic Triangulation: Is Someone Doing This to You?

By Sherrie.

June 3rd, 2019

 

Narcissistic abuse is terrible enough, but having to deal with narcissistic triangulation is a whole other level of this illness.
I’ve studied narcissism and other personality disorders for quite some time. I’ve learned aboutthe traits and characteristics, and then, I discovered that we all have a certain level of narcissism within us. Did you know that? Well, it seems I’m learning something new every day, and that’s a good thing. Just recently I learned there was something called, “narcissistic triangulation”, and this has opened up areas in my life that were hard to see.

What is this form of abuse?

The narcissist’s tool of madness – triangulation – is a severe mode of alienating people from others that they love. Triangulation can also mean using gaslighting(convincing outsiders that someone you love is crazy), and it can mean draining life from the victim while gaining popularity with the victim’s loved ones.
I think it’s one of the sickest weapons that a narcissist can use. In fact, I feel nauseated at this moment because I’m learning that I know quite a few people like this.

Are they using narcissistic triangulation on you?

A narcissist, especially a covert kind, will use triangulation often during their abusive actions. It’s a way to cover who they really are. This happens when the victim starts to figure out the true identity of the narcissist. It’s almost a retaliation from being noticed, actually.
If the narcissist can use triangulation to separate the victim from all their loved ones, then the victim will be aloneeasy prey for the narcissist. Can you feel the disgust? I can.
So, let’s see if any narcissists are using triangulation on you:

1. Invoking jealousy

Narcissists who use triangulation will attempt to make their partner jealous. One of the most common ways they do this is by using a third party.
For instance, the narcissist may tell their partner that one of her friends flirted with him. This not only makes the victim feel insecure but also makes her try harder to please the narcissist in fear of losing his interest to her friend. It’s sadistic, honestly.
If you’ve noticed your partner talking about girls flirting with him, try not to respond. It’s your response the narcissist craves.

2. Division

Have you noticed your partner saying negative things about certain friends you have? If so, they’re probably telling these friends negative things about you as well. This happens when communication between two particular people could expose the narcissist’s true identity.
Pay close attention to who your partner talks about and his overall demeanor when he does this. He could possibly be using triangulation to keep control.

3. Gaslighting

Gaslighting is when a narcissistic personality convinces others that her partner is crazy or abusive. This is possible because of carefully manipulative instigation.
For example, a narcissist will say derogatory things about her partner until he gets mad. When he retaliates, she will say he is crazy. Sometimes she does this in public so that more people can see just how crazed he gets.
If your girlfriend is starting fights with you for no reason, be careful of gaslighting. This might be what’s about to happen, which proves triangulation.

4. Recruitment

Is your partner often calling in reinforcements from friends and family when you start fighting or having a disagreement? If so, then this could be a form of narcissistic triangulation.
Now, sometimes help is needed when dealing with serious issues, but leveraging people to one side is just not a healthy move in a relationship. You may have noticed how your partner’s family members always take their side, this is common of course, but this, in ways, is triangulation as well.

5. The break-up

If you’re about to break up with your partner, then take a close look at how it’s being done.
Let’s say it’s his idea, and not so much your own. If he is using triangulation, he is telling other people about how bad you are and getting them to agree with everything he says. One of these confidants is probably the woman he wishes to replace you with.
It’s a sick and twisted way of ending a relationship, but it fits right in with how narcissists use triangulation.

What you can do with this information

I’ve been reading about narcissists all day now. I was researching things and then ran off into tangents learning even more about the traits and characteristics of the narcissist. I’m going to be honest with you, this type of personality is complex and difficult to change.
The bright side is, now you have a few facts about narcissistic triangulation and how it works. It’s your choice what to do with this information. I do urge you to consider all aspects of your relationship, whether it be romantic, secular or simply a family relationship.
When you recognize the signs of narcissists and triangulation, it’s time to ask yourself one important question.
“Should I get away, or should I stay and try to help?”
The answer is up to you. Just take care of yourself and remember your self-worth in the process.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://en.wikipedia.org
 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 18:13
Segunda-feira, 03 / 06 / 19

What Is the Barnum Effect and How It Can Be Used to Fool You ~ Janey Davies.

What Is the Barnum Effect and How It Can Be Used to Fool You

By Janey Davies.

June 2nd, 2019.

 
 

 



 

Have you ever read your horoscope and thought that it was amazingly accurate? You might just be a victim of the Barnum Effect.

The Barnum Effect, also known as the Forer Effect, occurs when people believe that vague and general descriptions are accurate representations of traits that belong to them personally. The phrase indicates a level of gullibility and comes from P.T Barnum.
Psychologist Paul Meehl coined the phrase in 1956. In those days, psychologists used general terms to fit all patients:
“I suggest—and I am quite serious—that we adopt the phrase Barnum effect to stigmatize those pseudo successful clinical procedures in which personality descriptions from tests are made to fit the patient largely or wholly by virtue of their triviality.”
But who exactly is P.T Barnum and how did the phrase originate?
Anyone that has seen The Greatest Showman will recognise P.T Barnum as the incredible 19-century circus entertainer behind the story. What many people don’t know is that in his early life, Barnum ran a touring museum.
This was a carnival full of live freak shows and sensational attractions, many of which were hoaxes. In fact, although he may not have said “There’s a sucker born every minute,” he certainly believed it. Barnum was famous in his early years for pulling off incredible hoaxes on his audiences.

Examples of P.T Barnum’s Greatest Hoaxes

 

George Washington’s 161-year-old nursemaid

In 1835, Barnum actually purchased an 80-year-old black slave and claimed she was President George Washington’s 161-old nursemaid. The lady was blind and disabled but sang songs and regaled audiences with stories of her time with ‘little George’.

The Cardiff Giant

Barnum wasn’t the only one scamming audiences in the 19-century. In 1869, workers on William Newell’s land ‘discovered’ the petrified body of a 10-foot giant. The giant was, in actual fact, a statue placed there for the hoax.
So started the exhibition with audiences paying 25 cents to see the giant. Barnum wanted to buy it but Newell had already sold it to another showman – Hannah, who refused.
So Barnum, realising an opportunity, built his own giant and called the Cardiff version a fake. This prompted Newell to say “There’s a sucker born every minute.”

The ‘Feejee’ Mermaid


Barnum convinced New York newspapers he had the body of a mermaid which had been captured by an American sailor off the coasts of Japan.
The so-called mermaid was actually a monkey’s head and torso sewn onto a fishtail and covered in paper-mâché. Experts had already proven it to be fake. This didn’t stop Barnum. The exhibit toured and crowds flocked to see it.

What is the Barnum Effect?

So Barnum started off his career with elaborate hoaxes and fooling large audiences. And that’s how we come to the effect. This effect occurs most commonly when describing personality traits. As a result, mediums, astrologers, mentalists and hypnotists will use it.

Examples of statements that show the Barnum Effect:

  • You have a great sense of humour but know when to be serious.
  • You use your intuition, but you have a practical nature.
  • You are quiet and introspective at times, but you like to let your hair down.
Can you see what’s happening here? We are covering all bases.
One study showed it was possible to run a personality test on college students and then give every student exactly the same description about themselves. Moreover, the students believed the descriptions.
In the now-famous Forer personality test, Bertram Forer gave his psychology students a personality test. A week later he delivered the results by providing each and every one of them a ‘personality sketch’ made up of 14 sentences which, he said, summed up their personalities.
He asked the students to rate the descriptions from 1 to 5. The average was 4.3. In fact, the majority of students rated the descriptions as ‘very, very accurate’. But how come?  They all got exactly the same descriptions.

Here are some examples of Forer’s descriptions:

  • You are an independent thinker and need proof from others before you’ll change your mind.
  • You tend to be critical of yourself.
  • You can at times doubt whether you’ve made the right choice.
  • Sometimes you are sociable and extroverted, but at other times you need your space.
  • You need the admiration and respect of other people.
  • Although you may have some weaknesses, you can generally overcome them.
  • You are easily bored and need variety in your life.
  • You are not using your full potential.
  • You may appear to be disciplined and controlled on the outside, but inside, you can worry.
Now, if you read the above, what would you think? Is it an accurate reflection of your personality?

Why we get fooled by Barnum Descriptions?

Why do we get fooled? Why do we believe general descriptions that could apply to anyone? It could be a phenomenon called ‘subjective validation’ or the ‘personal validation effect’.
This is a cognitive bias by which we tend to accept a description or statement if it contains something that is personal to us or is significant to us. So, if a statement resonates powerfully enough, we are more likely to believe it, without checking its validity.
Consider a sitter and a medium. The more invested the sitter is to make contact with their deceased relative, the harder they will try to find meaning in what the medium is saying. They want to find validation and make it personal to them. But that doesn’t mean it’s true.
The next time you find yourself agreeing with something you’ve read, ask yourself, does this apply to me specifically or is it a general description applicable for anyone? Remember, some people use this as a method of deception.
References:
  1. http://psych.fullerton.edu
  2. https://psycnet.apa.org

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

About the Author: Janey Davies.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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publicado por achama às 18:32
Quarta-feira, 29 / 05 / 19

6 Signs You Are in a Narcissistic Relationship and What to Do. ~ Rachael Pace

6 Signs You Are in a Narcissistic Relationship and What to Do.

Rachael Pace, Guest Author learning-mind.com

May 28, 2019. 

 
narcissistic relationship signs.

 

 

Being in a narcissistic relationship is hardly ideal. While your partner is the center of attention at all times, you probably feel like your needs could use a little dusting off.
narcissistic personality disorder is a condition of the mind where one person has an inflated sense of self, a constant need for attention, and lacks empathy for others. They may also be incredibly charming, manipulative, and toxic when it comes to being in a relationship.
Don’t let someone’s inflated ego ruin your chance at happiness. How to recognize if you are in a relationship with a narcissist?

These are 6 warning signs that you are in a narcissistic relationship and ways how you can fix things.

  1. They need constant praise and attention

Narcissists have delusions of grandeur, so it isn’t surprising that one of the most common signs of narcissistic personality disorders is the need for praise from their partners.
A narcissist wants their spouse to acknowledge their talents, appearance, intelligence, and achievements on an almost constant basis.
All partners love when their spouse makes them feel special. However, such needy behavior of a narcissistic person can be detrimental to a relationship in many ways.
  1. The charm turns on and off

One thing about narcissists is that they know how to charm their partners. Because of their excessive need to be liked and adored, they will know exactly how to come off as put-together, likable, and endearing. Such behavior will, of course, inflate their ego.
But once the honeymoon period is over, a narcissist will reveal their true colors. Some examples include sulking when you disagree with them, getting angry over the smallest things, and seemingly losing any interest in pretending to care about what you are thinking or feeling.
  1. Demeaning toward others

Is there anything more distasteful than someone treating others as their lesser?
Because a narcissist views themselves as superior to others, they will often demean people around them. They will obsess over the negative parts of others’ personalities, lives, and backgrounds. They judge others relentlessly.
Not only is this damaging to your mental health, but this can also be embarrassing when introducing your spouse to your friends or family. It can also be challenging when dealing with people who work in the service industry, such as at restaurants or hotels.
  1. Zero empathy

Any family psychologist will tell you that developing empathy and compassion for your partner is essential for a healthy relationship.
Empathy means that you feel for your partner. It means you have a fellow-feeling for those around you or at the very least, for those closest to you.
Unfortunately, a lack of empathy is incredibly common in narcissistic personalities. It is what allows them to disconnect from you emotionally and be cruel without thinking twice.
  1. There is no compromise

Whether they’re trying to make their spouse stay in the relationship or are convincing them that they are on the wrong side of an argument, narcissists know how to manipulate.
Instead of coming together to communicate about how you are feeling or resolve any issues you’re having, a narcissist will overreact at even the slightest sign of your disagreeing with them.
  1. You feel bad about yourself

Relationships should make you feel good, not worthless. Gaslighting, or manipulating a partner to the point that they question their own judgment or sanity, is a common practice of toxic abusers. It can leave you feeling like you don’t even know who you are anymore.
While in a relationship with a narcissistic person, you may:
  • Feel like everything you do is wrong
  • Find yourself apologizing all the time
  • Constantly question yourself
  • Feel anxious and nervous around your spouse
  • Frequently apologize/make excuses for your spouse’s behavior
  • Become isolated from friends and family
  • Feel like you’re walking on eggshells

What to do when you’re dating a narcissist

Being part of a healthy relationship means that both partners are 100 percent willing to share their lives, thoughts, and time together. This is what creates a long-lasting, strong marriage.
If you have been dating a narcissistic personality for some time now, you are likely growing tired of the lack of give-and-take in your relationship. If that is the case, there are steps you can take for moving forward:
  • Make a decision to end your relationship

After months or years of dealing with manipulation and ego-trips, odds are your close friends and family would not blame you for throwing in the towel.
Typical narcissistic behavior is that if you try and end the relationship, they will either try and manipulate you into staying or turn on the charm in the hopes of winning back your favor.
Don’t buy it.
You deserve better than to be with someone who isn’t actually interested in being a part of your life.
  • If you live together, start withdrawing emotionally, little by little.

It’s also wise to start putting away a nest-egg of cash for when you do leave. You may also consider seeking the support of a lawyer, a trusted friend or family member. You may also need law enforcement when you finally leave to help prevent any violent outbursts.
If your spouse’s narcissistic behavior has turned dangerous to your mental or physical health, it’s time to call it quits. Once your partner has been abusive, it is likely that they will repeat the same behavior if you decide to cross them.
Even if you don’t but they feel threatened by you, they will not flinch before engaging in abusive behavior. There is no turning back from abuse. If you have been subjected to narcissistic abuse, you must gather help and resources to get out of the relationship.

You are the best judge of your relationship.

Exercise discretion to know if there is a hope for things to change for better or is your partner a looming threat to your well being.
However, keep in mind that narcissistic personality disorder is something that can be acquired during the growing ages. It isn’t easy to get rid off and sometimes, it’s completely impossible.
Even if you see some hope of resurrecting your relationship, exercise caution. Narcissists excel in the art of pretention and they can easily fool you into believing they can change. But that’s hardly possible, ever.
 
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Rachael Pace is a noted writer currently associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of her motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying about today’s evolving forms of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on all types of romantic connections. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.
 
 



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publicado por achama às 20:33
Domingo, 05 / 05 / 19

7 Things a Covert Narcissist Mother Does to Her Children ~ Sherrie.

7 Things a Covert Narcissist Mother Does to Her Children.

By Sherrie.

May 3rd, 2019


 

While most narcissists are men, women can be just as malignant. In fact, the covert narcissist mothers are becoming more common.

Narcissistic females are thought to be rarer than their male counterparts. In fact, 75% of narcissists are male. Recently, however, studies have shown more and more covert narcissists are women. The covert narcissist mother, being one of the most malignant of the group, can cause some of the worst damage as well.

How children are really affected

You would be surprised just how much damage is done to children with covert and dangerous mothers. Yes, I said dangerous because later in life, this upbringing can cause mental health problems and even suicide.
So, what does this type of mother do to her children that’s so heinous? Maybe you will understand the serious nature by delving into the effects of the narcissist.

1. She devalues her children

One thing the covert narcissist type of mother does to her child is devaluation or triangulation. This means she uses one child as a scapegoat and the other as the perfect child.
This creates competition within the mind of the flawed child. This sibling tries desperately to please their mother which is almost impossible. In the meantime, their mother is doting on the golden child and offering praises day after day.
This sort of covert and venomous narcissist mother can leave her imprint way into her child’s adulthood. The effects surface by not being good enough and always comparing themselves to other people.

2. She has two faces

One way the covert style of the narcissistic mother affects the children is by the utilization of two faces. What I mean by two faces is that the mother is loving to her children when presenting them to the outside world, but behind closed doors, she is quite the opposite.
She shows off her children, then punishes them for small things later on. Sometimes she passes her duties as a mother to other people when no one from outside the home is around to see her true actions.

3. Invalidation and gaslighting

One of the most horrible things a mother can do is invalidate the feelings of her childrenand make them feel like they are the crazy ones. This type of mother does negative things and blames the actions of her children as the cause of her negative actions.
She doesn’t validate the feelings of her children as real concerns. This is because the covert narcissistic moods of the mother show no empathy. If something occurs that’s obviously the fault of this mother, she resorts to gaslighting to defend the truths of actions.

4. Her children are parts of her personality

A narcissist’s children are not individuals in her eyes. They are simply a part of her being, created by her, and under her control. She dresses her children in certain ways to represent herself, otherwise, she will have a reputation she does not want.
In public, she brags about her children, but in private she pushes them to be better – she tells them to lose weight or to dress better.. Her children are possessions, or better yet, extensions of herself which must represent her and not an individual person.

5. She competes and crosses boundaries

The covert version of the narcissistic mother will cross strange boundaries with her children. These are boundaries that are extremely disturbing sometimes.
If she has a female child that is developing and maturing physical, the mother will compete with her daughter’s youthful looks. She may try to dress more provocatively than her daughter and even try to steal her boyfriends or seduce them.
She crosses these boundaries because she is aware of her aging and no child of hers will be better than her in any way.

6. Outside possessions are more important than her children

covert narcissist will always find greater pleasure in providing for herself over the need of her children. For instance, she rather purchase new clothing for herself than for her children, even if they need new school clothing.
She is a selfish person and doesn’t care how her children see her. She will buy them the bare minimum and then again, show her children off to the world in their few new outfits. If you pay attention, you will notice the covert mother has more new clothing than her children.

7. She invades their privacy

covert and intrusive narcissistic mother will always break boundaries when it comes to her child’s privacy. Yes, you should, as a mother, be able to check up on some of your children’s actions, but not constantly. Sometimes it is best to let them have some privacy and figure out things for themselves.
An unhealthy relationship with your child will turn into unhealthy relationships when they grow older, destroying future relationships and causing others to resent them for their intrusive behavior.

Let’s be honest: Are you a covert narcissistic mother?

Look within and ask yourself, do you fit any of these indicators of being a parent like this? If you relate to any of these things, please try to change as much as possible for the sake of your child’s future. The treatment they receive now will be the foundation of their adult lives.
If you know someone who is a covert narcissistic type of mother, please provide help for their children if you can. Remember, you cannot break boundaries either or the mother will only punish the children for that as well. If anything, get anonymous support or help.
I hope these indicators and words of hope have helped you as well.
References:
  1. https://thoughtcatalog.com
  2. https://blogs.psychcentral.com
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 06:38
Quinta-feira, 25 / 04 / 19

9 Signs of a Narcissistic Father: Were You Raised by a Narcissist? ~ Margaret B.

7 Wise Audrey Hepburn Quotes That Will Inspire and Motivate You.

By Margaret B.

April 24th, 2019. 



 

Many people have had a narcissistic father. Narcissism is everywhere, unfortunately.

It has been present in the past, and it will be present in the future. It can ruin people’s lives, not least because it can be difficult to see. Narcissistic parents can ruin the entire course of their children’s lives. This article provides some ways in which you can see if you had a narcissistic father.

Do any of the below things sound like your father?

 

1.  He Uses/Lives Through His Child

Parents want their children to succeed, so the saying goes. A narcissistic father will likely want his children to succeed, but not for themselves. No, he will want them to succeed because it will reflect well on himself.
Parents are supposed to raise children so that their thoughts and hopes are protected. Parents are supposed to ensure that their children can live for themselves. A narcissistic father will merely ensure that children live and grow to fulfil his wishes, rather than the child’s own.

2.  Marginalization

Narcissism is a trait which invalidates individuality. People are individuals, but narcissists don’t see that. What they see is an extension of themselves, to do with as they please.
As children grow older, they begin to show their own personalities, likes, and dislikes. This can challenge a narcissistic father, who is used to seeing his children as little miniatures. If this happens, many fathers turn to marginalization of their children in order to tear down their success.
These put-downs come in many forms, but they have one purpose. The purpose is to lower or destroy confidence and self-esteem so that the narcissistic father never needs to feel threatened by their children.

3.  Grandiosity and Superiority

Most, if not all, narcissistic fathers have a greatly inflated sense of themselves. No matter what they do, they feel as if they are the best, and should be at the top of the pile. People around a narcissist are therefore not their own people, but merely another way to assert superiority.
When it comes to a narcissistic father, this can manifest in two ways: either the child is used as a prop, or the child is taught to act in the same way. Thus the parent can use their child to assert their own viewpoint in the matter.

4.  Superficial Image

Being superficial is not entirely the same as being superior. Many a narcissistic father has used those around them, including children, to show how special they are. Being superficial means showing off what is ultimately entirely inconsequential.
This can be a good memory (which occurs entirely by chance), or material possessions (which are ultimately meaningless). Many parents might use their child’s social life as a personal booster. It opens up whole new avenues for a narcissistic father to show off what they have, and what they think they are.

5.  Manipulation

Manipulation can take many forms. When a narcissistic father uses it, the most commons forms are:
  • Emotional coercion
  • Unreasonable pressure
  • Reward and punishment – i.e. do what I want or be punished
  • Negative comparisons
  • Shaming
  • Blaming
  • Guilt trips
A particularly common theme for family narcissism is when love becomes conditional. Instead of being something children receive as a matter of course, love is given in return for children acting in a certain way.
Another way to see this is that a narcissistic father will look at love as something to be used as a tool. If his children do what he wants, he will reward them with love. If they don’t do what he wants, he will punish them by withholding his love.

6.  Inflexible and Touchy

Many narcissistic fathers are inflexible when it comes to how they want their children to act and behave. Every parent has to parent their child is they are to grow up properly, of course. But a narcissistic father will go far further than that: they will correct anything which they perceive as wrong.
What is particularly unfortunate is that this inflexibility can manifest in many different ways, making it difficult to combat. One reason for people being inflexible is that it is a way to control children. This tends to work more as the child gets older, and begins to spread their wings.

7.  Lack of Empathy

Because narcissistic fathers don’t see their children as separate from themselves, lack of empathy is a problem. Children have their own thoughts and feelings, and it is important to validate them. When narcissism is involved, however, only the narcissist matters. Nobody else.
Many children, when faced with a lack of empathy, will begin to fight back. They will do this in three distinct ways:
  • Fight back and stand up for themselves and their right to respect for thoughts, feelings, wishes, etc.
  • Distance themselves from the parent in question to get some emotional distance.
  • Creating a new personality which takes on the desired personality traits; these children show narcissistic tendencies themselves.

8.  Dependency/Co-dependency

A narcissistic father may expect that their offspring will be there to take care of them in their old age. This is what is called dependency, and can take a variety of forms. The most common forms are financial, physical, or emotional, with physical often being the most common.
Taking care of aging parents is admirable, but it can be twisted into something unhealthy. Many narcissists can manipulate their children into making unreasonable sacrifices for them, whether personally or financially.
Co-dependency works in something of the same way. The definition of co-dependency is where two people enable each other in bad or actively hurtful actions, such as drug-taking, drinking, or anything else of that nature.

9.  Jealousy & Possessiveness

key part of narcissism is always having control over your target. A narcissistic father will show jealousy of anything and anyone which shows that their child or children are moving on with their lives.
Romantic partners, in particular, will come in for a lot of trouble. Romantic partners are the people who will have the most influence over a person – this will rival the control of a narcissistic parent.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://www.tandfonline.com

 

 
About the Author: Margaret B.
 
Margaret is a freelance writer and tutor. She spends her time reading and writing, hoping to learn why people act the way they do. She is a lifelong fan of both philosophy and fantasy.
 
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publicado por achama às 08:17
Quinta-feira, 14 / 02 / 19

Signs and Causes of Compulsive Lying and How to Stop This Habit ~ Mariya M.

Signs and Causes of Compulsive Lying and How to Stop This Habit.

By Mariya M.

February 13th, 2019. 

 

 

 

At times, we can all tell a small white lie, but compulsive lying is a completely different animal.

People who have the habit of compulsive lying tell lies about the most random things. If you ask them what they did over the weekend, they might say, “I went fishing with some friends“. In fact, they sat at home and watched television. These people just cannot control their lies.
A person who has a habit of compulsive lying will give wrong answers to any question. The worst thing is that they do it for no good reason. They have no ulterior motives; people like this also have no special purpose to be realized by their falseness.
It’s very difficult to listen to a person who speaks to you and find out if he or she is a compulsive liar or not. This is simply because the lies which the compulsive liars tell are credible and absolutely probable.
Is it possible to identify a compulsive or a pathological liar? According to a study conducted by B.H. King and C.V. Ford of the Department of Psychiatry, the Hospital of UCLA, compulsive lying has a few indicators.

3 Signs of Compulsive Lying

 

1. The Stories Do Not Match

The most obvious sign of a compulsive liar is that their stories never match. They are always confused about their made up facts. A person who is prone to compulsive lying will often add detail to their lies, so the new lie is different from the one they started.
An intentional liar has a hidden aim and will, therefore, they will pay particular attention to remembering the very lies they have actually told earlier. A compulsive liar, however, is going to tell self-defeating lies.

2. No Limits

Compulsive liars are incessant. They will lie at every opportunity, even if it is absolutely unnecessary. Most of the times, their lies are harmless. But is it hard to believe a compulsive liar if they can tell the truth?
The main reason for this tendency to lie about all sorts of things is the fact that compulsive liars often do not realize they are lying. Sometimes they just cannot stop, even though they know they are lying.

3. Guilty As Accused

Compulsive liars often admit that they lie when they are confronted with enough facts. This is different from a deliberate liar who can still try to actually defend themselves. It truly proves that this kind of liar is quite fearless, with no regard for the consequences of their actions.
This often leads to the person confronting a stunned obsessive comptroller, since the confrontation also shows the absence of an ulterior motive. You cannot understand why the compulsive liar lied at all! The sad part is that even the compulsive liar has no answer to this question.

What Are the Causes of Compulsive Lying?

Certain central nervous system problems, such as epilepsy, infection and other issues, have been associated with the causes of this disorder. There is no precise pattern regarding gender – men and women are equally affected.
In fact, compulsive lying is a very miserable state because as soon as the liar has been truly exposed, almost everyone who knows you excludes you. However, if you ever see a compulsive liar in someone you know and care for, don’t be angry. Try and help them out of this instead.

How Can You Stop This Habit?

To admit that you have a problem is the first courageous step towards overcoming your compulsive lying problem. Asking for help is the second.
Psychotherapy, counseling or hypnosis therapy could help you to identify and address the causes of your lying addiction, and to stop lying in a short time.
As you begin to overcome the causes and habits of compulsive lies, you may notice an improvement in your relationships and a significant increase in your self-confidence. The truth is that people who have the habit of compulsive lying have very low self-esteem.
Equally important is good psychotherapy. Besides finding the ways for you to stop lying, a psychotherapist will also help you discover the cause of your compulsive lying issue so you can lead a more fulfilling and authentic life.
On your first visit, you can discuss your compulsive lying problem confidentially, ask questions, and decide if your psychotherapist is right for you. This first session will give the psychotherapist a good idea of the problems and help them understand what you want to achieve.
After the first session, they will tailor a treatment plan to your individual needs. It’s possible that the psychotherapist can control your patterns through hypnotherapy by altering your very habitual thoughts and reactions. In general, however, long-term treatment is not only recommended but also required.
Psychoanalytic psychotherapy is an extremely intense, perceptive treatment that requires honest commitment from you to address the issues, but it is very effective in solving the causes of compulsive lying.

Conclusion

People who repeatedly lie are not very easy to deal with, but they should not be labeled as evil or manipulative. Their lies can become compulsive for lots of reasons, often which are deeply rooted in problematic childhoods.
Compulsive lying issues can affect the lives of persons who tell the lies as well as those around them, thus the tips above are a way to deal with it effectively.
References:

 

 

 

 

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 



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If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 10:24
A Luz está a revelar a Verdade, e esta libertar-nos-á! -Só é real o AMOR Incondicional. -Quando o Amor superar o amor pelo poder, o mundo conhecerá a Paz; Jimi Hendrix. -Somos almas a ter uma experiência humana!

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