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Sexta-feira, 08 / 05 / 20

9 Signs of Needy People and How They Manipulate You

9 Signs of Needy People and How They Manipulate You

By Anna LeMind, B.A.

May 7th, 2020

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We all have encountered overly clingy and needy people in our lives.
Some may have been in a relationship with a too dependent partner, others could have had a friend who asked for one favor after another. While it’s totally human to feel emotionally attached to those around you as well as to ask for their help from time to time, these personalities take it to another level.
Needy people often come to the point of becoming toxic manipulators. More often than not, they are unaware of what they are doing though. Clingy individuals tend to have insecurities and lack mental toughness, so they just can’t help themselves. They need other people to make them happy and complete.
Still, dealing with a needy person can be challenging for your own mental health. So, it’s important to recognize the signs of when your needy friend or family member is taking advantage of you and is becoming a toxic influence.

9 Signs of Manipulative Needy People

1. They have a victim mentality

Being a needy person and having a victim mentality are often synonyms. These people just can’t take responsibility for their actions and failures. They always blame someone else for everything.
If they made a mistake in a report, it’s because their loud coworker distracted them from work. If they didn’t keep your intimate secret, it is because they encountered a devious manipulator who tricked them into sharing it.
In the end, it’s never a needy person’s fault. And they don’t just stop here – they go on to make you feel sorry for them as well.

2. They guilt-trip you

If we take the example with the secret, your needy friend will probably say how devastated they are by that manipulator. And that you shouldn’t have confided in them in the first place. Now their whole life is completely ruined because of the secret you shared with them! It may sound crazy, but eventually, you will actually feel sorry for your friend and guilty for calling them out for revealing your secret!
Being needy doesn’t equal being a manipulator, but sometimes, this trait comes with a natural talent in inducing unjustified guilt in others. You see, making people feel guilty is a great way to take advantage of them.
When your friend is convinced that whatever you are going through is their fault, they are more likely to give you what you want or to turn a blind eye to something wrong you have done.

3. They take advantage of you

Needy people are usually takers and rarely givers. If you are there for them when they need you, it doesn’t mean that they will do the same for you.
All relationships should have reciprocity in them. And I’m not talking just about helping each other. Emotional investment is an essential component of any relationship, whether it’s a romantic, a family, or a friendly one. When you are the only person in a relationship who is concerned, genuinely interested, and willing to help, it means that the other person is taking advantage of you.
Does your needy family member ever call you just to see how you are doing? Is your friend really paying attention when you are telling him about your problems? Do they ever invite you to their place for dinner or do they only enjoy your hospitality? Are they there for you when you are in trouble?
If a needy person in your life shows up only when they need something from you, I’m sorry to tell you this, but you are being taken advantage of.

4. They are constantly in trouble

In the beginning, needy people may seem just unlucky. Whatever venture they take on, it’s doomed to fail. It may look like they are cursed and the whole world is conspiring against them! They get fired from work, their businesses collapse one after another, they get involved with the wrong people all the time.
When a needy person talks about their failures, they, of course, blame someone else or things like bad luck or the wrong circumstances. We have already talked about their victim mentality above, remember?
As a result of this endless chain of disasters, they end up asking for your help. And yes, they have no one else to turn to. Only you and your help can save them.

5. They are in a constant need for approval and reassurance

A needy personality often stems from insecurities and low self-esteem. For this reason, they need constant reassurance from other people. They may become quite manipulative in trying to get your approval.
They love doing what’s called fishing for compliments. It’s when a person purposely says self-critical things to hear that they are being wrong about themselves. This is what needy people often seek – your reassurance. They literally feed off it because deep inside, they feel bad about themselves.

6. They compete in misery

This toxic behavior is a consequence of a victim mentality. Needy people seem to compete with others in misery, so whatever problem you are facing, be sure that they always have a worse one.
Say that you are confiding a problem in your marriage to your friend. He looks like he is listening to you, but as soon as you stop talking, he tells you about his past heartbreak, which was much more tragic than the issue you have with your wife.
As a result, you receive no empathy or advice from your friend and end up listening to his heartbreaking story and comforting him instead.

7. They exaggerate their problems and belittle those of other people

Similarly, a needy person may become passive-aggressive and throw out belittling remarks about other people’s difficulties. All this serves one purpose – to earn all the attention and empathy for themselves.
They may get sarcastic and say unkind things like ‘I wish I had his problems’ when someone else is struggling. All this comes down to a lack of empathy and emotional intelligence needy people often have. They really believe that they are the only person who is struggling and everyone else’s problems are a joke.

8. They can’t deal with their issues on their own

friend asking for favors
Self-sufficiency is not among the traits of needy people. Sometimes, it can seem that they are just unable to solve a problem on their own. For example, if they are facing financial difficulties, they won’t think about getting a better job or earning some extra income but will immediately go to the solution of borrowing money from a friend or a family member.
For this reason, you will often find needy people asking for all kinds of favors, from requiring your assistance in the most trivial issues to helping them make a life-changing decision. Yes, it’s fine to expect support from the people around you. After all, this is what true friends do, right? But it’s not fine when you don’t even try to figure out a solution by yourself and rush to your friend for help.

9. They believe that you owe them

Needy people often believe that the world and those around them owe them something. This makes them convinced that they have the right to require help from their family members or friends.
Let’s take an example of needy behavior in a family relationship. Aaron’s parents got a divorce when he was 12 years old. While he stayed in contact with his father, he never received any substantial financial help from him. Still, he grew up into a self-sufficient adult and is now successfully running his own business while his father is switching from one venture to another and is on the edge of financial disaster.
At some point, Aaron’s father is asking him for a loan so he can pay off his debt and start a new business. Aaron refuses, and his father gets furious. He blames his son for being ungrateful and not appreciating what he has done for him all these years. For example, Aaron has forgotten how his father was driving him to school or how he took him to a few road trips when he was a kid.
As you see in this example, Aaron’s father is convinced that his son owes him, so he didn’t expect that he would refuse to help him.

Are Needy People Bad People?

In the end, needy people don’t mean to become toxic and behave in a manipulative way. These people often have issues with emotional attachment and self-esteem, so their clingy nature is due to their mental makeup.
Thus, if you have a needy person in your life, treat them with kindness but don’t allow them to exploit it. Establishing healthy personal boundaries is a key approach to dealing with them.
 

Anna LeMind
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About the Author: Anna LeMind

Anna is the founder and lead editor of the website Learning-mind.com. She is passionate about learning new things and reflecting on thought-provoking ideas. She writes about science, psychology and other related topics. She is particularly interested in topics regarding introversion, consciousness and subconscious, perception, human mind's potential, as well as the nature of reality and the universe.
 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.
 
 
Discernment is recommended.
 
 
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 



 

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publicado por achama às 00:50
Sexta-feira, 01 / 05 / 20

6 Types of Toxic People Who Become Involuntary Manipulators

6 Types of Toxic People Who Become Involuntary Manipulators

By Anna LeMind, B.A.

April 30th, 2020

passive aggression.

 
Passive aggression is a favorite tactic for negative, secretly jealous, and insecure personalities. So almost all of the above types of toxic people can use it, especially the approval seekers and the enviers.
They lack the emotional toughness to speak their mind openly and face conflict. Thus, they throw out sneaky comments and wistful statements that make you feel bad and bring them temporary emotional satisfaction.

An example situation:

Your friend Bob tells you about his financial difficulties. He has lost his job and doesn’t know how to pay his bills the next month. You are comforting him and give him advice. At some point, the conversation turns to you and you tell Bob about the detention your unruly son received at school. Bob has an absent expression on his face and says, “I wish I had your problems”.
The result? You are feeling guilty for worrying about such trivial issues while your friend is going through a really difficult time in life. In reality, though, Bob didn’t mean to cause you discomfort or guilt. He is just overly self-absorbed right now because of the hardships he is facing, so anyone else’s problems look like a joke to him.

2. Guilt trips

The needers often use guilt trips to get what they want. In fact, needy people are natural manipulators and may not even know how toxic they can become. Since they are used to relying on others and hanging their happiness on people and external circumstances, they are intrinsically skillful in evoking guilt in those around them.

An example situation:

Ian proposes to Melissa while they’ve been in a relationship for just three months. She is not ready yet and not sure whether Ian is the one, so she takes some time to think it over. One day, Ian tells Melissa about his past heartbreaking relationship and throws out a comment like, “That breakup was a real disaster. It was a struggle to get over it. If our relationship doesn’t work out either, I’m not sure if I can handle it”. As a result, Melissa feels sorry for him and accepts his proposal.
This may sound deviously manipulative at first, but Ian is not a bad person. He is just prone to black-and-white thinking and gets too enthusiastic about people. He also has an intense fear of loneliness and gets emotionally attached to women too easily. So he meant every single word of what he said to Melissa.

3. Playing the victim

Some people genuinely believe that they never did anything wrong and all their failures are due to the outside circumstances. They may blame the unkind people who took advantage of them or the unfair society that ruined their chances to succeed. Maybe they were born in the wrong time or had a too underprivileged family background to achieve anything significant in life. They may even go on to believe that all their misery stems from a generational curse or God’s will.
The core reason for this toxic attitude is that people with a victim mentality are afraid of responsibility. There is always someone or something else to blame for all the adversities life throws their way. So, they have a natural talent for playing the victim and distorting every situation accordingly.
They don’t do it because they are evil manipulators, however. In reality, they are simply too mentally weak to accept their faults and deal with their responsibilities. Many types of toxic people use the manipulation tactic of playing the victim. In our list, the misunderstood genius, the needer, and the complainer will do it more often than others.

An example situation:

Elliot’s business has failed, which totally ruined his motivation. He now stays at home, watching TV all day long and doing nothing. His wife Ashley has a good job and is the only person who is supporting the family now. After a few months, Elliot still doesn’t look for a new job or business idea.
Ashley is tired of supporting the family on her own and at some point, she insistently asks her husband to get a job. Elliot says, “How can you be so heartless? Don’t you see that I’m depressed? These people took from me everything I had worked for so hard and you are suggesting I should just forget about it and work for someone else now?”
Elliot is clearly playing the victim to avoid responsibility and make Ashley feel sorry for him. Still, this is unintended because he is convinced that it’s not his fault that his business failed. Also, he thinks that he is too gifted for a regular 9-5 job, so even suggesting him to get one causes annoyance.

4. Criticism

criticism
Negative and controlling types of people are sometimes so critical of everyone and everything that they become truly toxic. It’s not easy to be around a person who always has to say something critical, unkind, or disproving. Thus, critical people become involuntary manipulators because they make those around them feel worthless and often start conflict out of nothing. Sometimes they do it to feel better about themselves or because they really believe that they are always right.

An example situation:

Jane just got a promotion at work and shares the exciting news with her elderly mother, who happens to be an overly critical person. She gives her daughter an indifferent look and says, “Good for you. Too bad that you still haven’t started a family at this age that you are though. Your younger sister has two children already, and you are still single”.
With this kind of remark, Jane’s mother makes her feel inadequate despite her career achievement. She downplays her daughter’s success and shifts focus to her relationship failures, which is a sensitive topic for her. As a result, Jane starts to doubt herself and feels miserable. She forgets about the promotion and begins to think that her life is a failure.

5. They become parasitic

Some types of toxic people become emotionally or financially parasitic to those around them. Parasitic individuals make their partners, friends, or family members feel responsible for their life. This manipulation tactic can be a combination of guilt-tripping and a victim mentality and is often used by needy people as well as the misunderstood geniuses.

An example situation:

Two adult siblings live entirely different lives. The younger brother Tom has become a successful lawyer while the older brother Jack fails one business after another. Jack has already borrowed a great deal of money from his brother and never paid him back. He is now asking him for a new loan.
Tom has had enough of supporting Jack and denies it to him. Jack says that in this case, the bank will take his house and he will have nowhere to live. Moreover, he feels heartbroken and betrayed by his brother. He accuses Tom of being ungrateful for all the good things he did to him. Jack even goes on to remind him how he babysat him and helped him with homework when they were children.
The situation now looks like Jack is a victim and Tom is a villain. This makes the younger brother feel guilty and ironically, responsible for his older brother’s life. As a result, once again, he decides to give Jack the money he is asking for.
As you can see in this example, Jack is inducing unjustified guilt in Tom. In reality, he is just exploiting his brother as it’s much easier to borrow money from a wealthy family member than to find a job to pay off your debt. But Jack is doing this unconsciously. He may genuinely believe that he has done too much for his brother, so Tom owes him.

The Involuntary Manipulators Are Those Types of Toxic People Who Don’t Mean to Do Harm

In the end, the individuals we discussed above have no ill intent. These unconscious manipulators are usually pretty good folks at their core but just lack mental strength, which makes them use unhealthy coping mechanisms.
So the bottom line here is that these types of toxic people tend to be deeply unhappy and discontented with themselves, hence their manipulative tendencies.
This means that they are more likely to change and stop their toxic behavior than devious manipulators like psychopaths or narcissists, who have the power to make you question your sanity. Establishing firm personal boundaries is often enough to stop their toxic influence.
Does any type of these toxic people sound like someone in your life? Please feel free to share your experiences with us.
 

Anna LeMind
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About the Author: Anna LeMind

Anna is the founder and lead editor of the website Learning-mind.com. She is passionate about learning new things and reflecting on thought-provoking ideas. She writes about science, psychology and other related topics. She is particularly interested in topics regarding introversion, consciousness and subconscious, perception, human mind's potential, as well as the nature of reality and the universe.
 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

Archives:
 
 
Main Site: violetflame.biz.ly


 
 

 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.
 
 
Discernment is recommended.
 
 
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 



 

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publicado por achama às 02:11
Domingo, 26 / 04 / 20

How Globalists Manipulated Christians to Push Secularism, Abandon Ultimate Truth.

How Globalists Manipulated Christians to Push Secularism, Abandon Ultimate Truth.

Prepare for Change.

Posted April 25, 2020 by Edward Morgan.


 

What do underground homosexual communities and Protestant Evangelicals have to do with each other?
That was the question I asked while pursuing the back cover of a book called “Putin’s Russia.” Reading that the author, Anne Garrels, was an NPR correspondent, I knew that the book would have one once of reality for every pound of propaganda. NPR has such a clearly liberal agenda.
The phrase on the back cover that got my attention was this:
“We discover surprising subcultures, like a vibrant underground gay community and a circle of determined Protestant Evangelicals ….”
This is a curious combination.
In America, for what is called the “liberal left,” Protestant Evangelicals are generally treated like bad guys. They are portrayed as narrow-minded “bigots” who oppose abortions and “sexual rights” (homosexualism). Yet, in the above phrase the reader is clearly intended to pity two conflicting groups.
So why would a liberal reporter want me to pity Protestant Evangelicals?
Rather than simply trusting the small phrase quoted on the back of the book, I decided to read more. In the book, I read a chapter titled, “The Believers”. Presently, my goal not to refute the chapter itself. Rather, I want to point out a very important principle.
The chapter promoted a typical Western view. Evil forces of government and religion — in this case the Orthodox Church — are banding together to oppress small groups of various Protestants. The author’s view of Orthodoxy is painfully superficial.
My principle point is reflected in the paradox that, from the liberal view, Protestant Evangelicals are bad in America, and yet in Russia they are victimized groups to be pitied. The reader will understand by the end, I hope, that this is indeed not a paradox.
Protestantism is one of the beginning stages of relativism. (Once relativism morphs out of its beginning stages it no longer needs Protestantism, and then it turns upon it as an enemy.)
Before I proceed, I will first say: I was a Protestant. I spent time in the 90’s in the former Soviet Union as a “missionary.” I have some personal experience to draw upon. Second, I recognize that there are numerous good and warmhearted Protestant persons, some who work very zealously. Third, clearly Protestants get some things right. Yet as St. Ignatius of Antioch points out, even just a drop of poison in honey will kill you.
I am seeking to address a system, one that claims to be Christian, but in reality it is simply the early stages of Western European “rationalism,” “emotionalism,” “relativism,” and such, dressed up in Christian clothing. This is why a majority of Protestants are resistant to the True manifestation of Christianity in the Orthodox Church. Orthodoxy is not a product of “late-medieval” to present Western European worldviews, as is Protestantism.
Relativism is basically a rejection of ultimate objective Truth. My Protestant friends will say, “Wait! We do not reject Truth! We believe in Jesus and the Bible!” Let’s see what that belief is founded upon.
To clear the way for relativism, first must come subjective individualism, which may be called Subjectivism. Subjectivism is soft relativism. Moreso than its mother Rome, Protestantism subjectivized the Truths of Christianity. (I believe the argument could be made that Rome first “individualized” truth in the person of the Pope, and thus Protestantism is simply a multiplication of this original error of Rome, but that is beyond the scope of this article at this point.)
In a very interesting book called “The Unintended Reformation: How a Religious Revolution Secularized Society,” the author, Brad S. Gregory, observes,
Christian truth claims vary greatly across different individuals, congregations, churches, and traditions. In countless ways they conflict with one another. As the doctrine analogue to the institutional variety apparent under the entry “Churches” in the yellow pages of American telephone books, Christian truth claims exhibit an extremely wide, open-ended range in terms of their content and status and importance among their respective proponents. What Christians believe about Bible, God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, church(es), collective worship, prayer, morality, social justice, ecumenism, the importance of theological doctrines, the significance of scholarships of faith, or believers’ relationship to the wider society, for example varies enormously. Somewhere, at some time, by some congregation or individual, almost anything has gone or still goes under the adjective “Christian.” Combined with this vast pluralism is the widespread (but not unanimous) view that whatever its particular content, religious conviction is a highly personal, individual matter, such that only each person can determine what is right and best for him or her. In matters of religious truth claims, each person is widely thought to be his or her own sovereign authority; this is in effect what freedom of religion means. Certainly it is what the laws of Western states protect.
Above, Mr. Gregory sums up the visible fruit of the ethos of Protestantism today. What he describes in basic is subjectivism, for when “truth” is predicated on limited and fallible individual feelings and experiences it becomes completely subjective (it also becomes something completely sourced from mere men). In fact, truth itself becomes obsolete and the subjective individual becomes the real standard and foundation of supposed “truth claims.” Ultimately in such a paradigm truth becomes meaningless. Ultimately, there is no objective (outside of the individual) Truth. The standard of Revealed Christian Truth is swept away in the tyranny of the individual. Protestantism is the quintessential religion of the individual.
How many times have I heard from Protestants, “No one has a corner on truth!” Well, then why Christianity?! If there is no corner on truth and whatever an individual believes is “true” to him, then religions are just man-made structures, all of them — including Christianity itself! This is the clear and right conclusion that the modern world has come to based upon Protestantism’s relativizing of truth.
Or, mostly in Charismatic Evangelical circles, one may hear the phrase, “Well, that’s not what the Spirit is saying to me!” Again the point of reference is the subjective individual – individualism – not actual Spirit or Truth. The “Spirit” or “Bible” is simply used to shore up the individual’s own self-chosen and desired subjective “truth-claim.”
Orthodoxy does not claim that one individual has a corner on Truth. It claims that the Body of Christ — the Church — does (cf. 1 Tim. 3:15). It also clearly claims and substantiates that this Revelation is directly from God. Thus, it is never predicated on “mere men.” This is an objective, real, and actual standard by which all persons, in all times, may equally and clearly gauge their “Christian-ness”.
Protestantism stripped Christianity of its objectivity.
A very interesting philosopher of the 20th century by the name of Rene Guenon in his book “The Crises of the Modern World,” critiques Protestantism’s role in crises in these terms:
It is therefore in the realm of religion that we shall have to consider the revolt against the traditional outlook, a revolt which, when it had acquired a definite form, became known as Protestantism; it is not difficult to see that this is a manifestation of individualism; indeed one could call it individualism as applied to religion. Protestantism, like the modern world, is built upon a mere negation, the same negation of principles that is the essence of individualism … Consequently the modern outlook was bound to reject all spiritual authority in the true sense of the word, namely authority that is based upon the supra-human order, as well as any traditional organization … Protestantism denied the authority of organization … and in its place claimed to set up ‘free criticism’, that is to say any interpretations resulting from private judgment, even that of the ignorant and incompetent, and based exclusively on the exercise of human reason … the door was left open to all manner of discussions, divergencies, and deviations; and the result could not but be dispersion in an ever-growing multitude of sects, each of which represents no more than the private opinion of certain individuals.
Guenon continues with these strong but pertinent words:
Nothing and nobody is any longer in the right place; men no longer recognize any effective authority in the spiritual order or any legitimate power in the temporal; the ‘profane’ presume to discuss what is sacred, and to contest its character and even its existence; the inferior judges the superior, ignorance sets the bounds of its own wisdom, error prevails over truth, the human is substituted for the Divine, earth has priority over Heaven, the individual sets the measure for all things and claims to dictate to the universe laws drawn entirely from his own relative and fallible reason. ‘Woe unto you, ye blind guides,’ the Gospel says; and indeed everywhere today one sees nothing but blind leaders of the blind, who, unless, restrained by some timely check, will inevitably lead them into the abyss, there to perish with them.
Mr. Geunon rightly deduces that Protestantism is the spiritual foundation of the modern secular world.
Protestantism birthed a “new christianity” one that is firmly based in anthropocentricity rather than theocentricity. Elucidating points about the development of the Western mind, Alexander Solzhenitsyn makes these point which are also equally applicable to Protestantism:
Rationalistic humanism or humanistic autonomy: the proclaimed and enforced autonomy of man from any higher force above him. It could be called anthropocentricity, with man seen as the center of everything that exists.
To justify its own fragmented, individualized, and divided existence Protestantism rather than repenting of its un-Christian ethos, adds insult to injury by rejecting any Christian claim to full and ultimate Truth. This is the basis of the bad ecclesiology of Protestantism manifested in ideas such as “the invisible church” or “the branch theory.” Since no one group, it claims, has the “fullness” (again absurd in the view of True Christianity), all of the countervailing opinions are brought together and mixed into an unintelligible cocktail, which will unite all (?!). Anti-unity becomes its basis of unity.
Thus, in history Protestantism is one of the first great attacks against Ultimate Christian Truth and Revelation.
If Christianity cannot give a person full and complete ultimate Truth it is worthless.
The whole claim of true Christianity is that it is the full Revelation of ultimate Truth, in as much as we can bear it.
Picture a bunch of people all claiming to believe in mathematics but simultaneously claiming that no one can ever really get the right answers and that all answers have equal value! For some 2+2 equals 6, for others 8, for some 1,338,245; and for others it equals -10. The nominal claim to believe in mathematics is refuted by the refusal to apply the objective standards thereof.
As objective standards are vital to true math working properly, so they are to true Christianity. If wrong mathematical equations in the engineering field could result in the physical death of people (thus the great importance of doing math correctly according to the proven objective standards), how much more will the misuse of Christian truth result in the spiritual death of people?
Subjective individualism is a vital foundation of secularism. It is the ground upon which it grows. Protestantism is religious subjective individualism.
There is an old saying, “Boil the frog slowly.” The move of the “Western” world from its clearly ancient Christian roots to its current “secular” state is a process that has taken hundreds of years. Anti-Christian secularism could not just be born in a flash. First, its “new” mindset and ideas had to have a religious context (for the world of that time was inevitably religious), and Protestantism provided that context. It is nascent secularism.
One example of the kindred relationship between Protestantism and Secularism, which I’ve pointed out before, is found in Elite American families such as the Rockefellers. They understood that Protestant mission work orientated nations toward America and “Western values.” Once this happened it became easier for Western influence to take hold. The Rockefellers therefore supported various Protestant missions because they were the ice breakers, so to speak. They broke a path in which the Western secular market and influences could more easily follow (all this is spoken about in the official biography, The Rockefellers: An American Dynasty. Peter Collier & David Horowitz).
I noticed this very principle a bit when I was a Protestant missionary. As we “turned people to Christ” we inevitably turned them to American authority and influence (needless to say most of the “leaders” were Americans). The center of influence for them inevitably became “Western” and fragmented.
I hope it is clear now why the liberal left in the first-mentioned book is so concerned with Protestant Evangelicals in Russia.
They know that Protestantism will dutifully and zealously fulfill its role as a disintegrator of Ultimate Truth, albeit possibly unwittingly. Once Christianity can be relativized it stands no chance against the aggressive force of final secular and godless relativism. Protestantism is relativism with Christian clothing, thus it is easier to sell to more “traditional” cultures. Thus, Protestant missions play a vital role in the initial preparation of a culture to receive a full dose of “Western values.”
This is why the West at first fights zealously for “religious rights”, which it will later seek to revoke, as it is doing in America and elsewhere.
This is why the West always sees true Orthodoxy as the enemy — because the Orthodox Church refuses to recant her God-given gift of Ultimate Revealed Truth. This is also why both the liberals and Protestants think that Orthodox are arrogant. — “You think you are the only right ones!” — See how the Protestant and liberal mindsets coincide to a certain extent. This is why, in the first quote provided above, the liberal author is so sympathetic to Protestants and hostile toward the Orthodox. Orthodoxy has nothing of secularism, whereas Protestantism is of the same cloth.
On one stage (in “non-western” cultures) Protestantism must be cultivated so that it may fragment and deconstruct Christian Revelation and Truth and local culture, and then on another stage (such as in America), once it has served its purpose, it will be turned upon to be destroyed because it refuses (mostly) to progress and extend the theory of relativism past the boundaries of “Jesus.” And by this point, this compromised version of Christianity is too fragmented to successfully resist.
For the end result of “freedom from Truth” and the festivity of amorality and immorality, Secularism patiently endures and even nurtures its beginning stage, which is Protestantism.
Without any intention of doing so, my dear Protestant friends are paving the way for those underground homosexual clubs to come out into broad daylight, to be celebrated and lauded. And any who oppose will be told, “How dare you think you have a corner on truth!” That’s why two seemingly contrary groups can sometimes be lumped together in the same sentence, and it makes complete sense.
Why hold on to the errors which men such as Luther and Calvin set into motion? Why continue in a system limited by paradigms born in an already-falling West? There is a home for all in true Christianity — the Orthodox Church. I think the devil fears what would happen if all who claimed to be Christian truly repented and came home to the Church of our Lord Jesus Christ. If you desire to save the West, there is no way to do it without the Orthodox Church. A reset to Protestantism will only restart the inevitable process of godless secularization.

Fr. Zechariah Lynch is an Orthodox priest in Pueblo, Colorado, at the Archangel Michael Orthodox Church. He blogs at The Inkless Pen, and is a regular contributor at Russian Faith.


Fr. Zechariah Lynch and his wife Natalia

 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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publicado por achama às 21:50
Domingo, 26 / 04 / 20

3 Signs of Gaslighting at Work: Is Someone Doing It to You?

 

3 Signs of Gaslighting at Work: 

Is Someone Doing It to You?

Janey Davies, B.A.

https://www.learning-mind.com

April 26th, 2020.

 
 
 

 
Anyone who is interested in psychology might have heard of the term ‘gaslighting’ in regards to a romantic relationship. But gaslighting at work is a relatively new phenomenon. So what are the signs and how can you tell if you’re being gaslighted at work?

What Is Gaslighting and What Are the Origins of This Term?

The term ‘gaslighting’ comes from the 1944 film Gaslight, in which a husband gradually convinces his wife that she’s going mad. We call this form of manipulation gaslighting because in the film the murderous husband attempts to drive his wife insane by convincing her she’s imagined the dimming gaslights in their apartment.
In fact, the lights dimmed because the husband was searching for her aunt’s jewellery. Whenever the wife tries to talk to her husband and discuss the dimming gaslights, her husband denies it ever happened.
He manipulates her into thinking she’s imagined it. He also manipulates the environment they both live in. For example, he denies there are noises coming from the attic (a result of his frantic searching). He consistently misdirects, confuses, flatly denies, and forcibly insists on certain details. In the end, the wife cannot resolve her version of reality to that of her husband.
So gaslighting is a term that describes abusive behaviour that manipulates the environment to make a person doubt his or her sanity.

Why Do People Use Gaslighting?

People gaslight for several different reasons:
  • A need for power
  • Wanting to control the other person
  • Having to conceal something
  • Feeling insecure
  • Jealous of your success
  • Want to get ahead of you

Examples of Gaslighting at Work:

  • Questioning your version of events
  • Rearranging schedules without informing you
  • Taking credit for the work you’ve done
  • Spreading malicious gossip and then denying it
  • Blaming you when things go wrong
  • Pretending they cannot understand you
  • Bullying you in front of colleagues
  • Going into a rage with you but being all smiles to others
Anyone can use gaslighting at work, from your immediate boss to a co-worker or even a client.

Here Are Some More Specific Examples of Gaslighting at Work:

We all tend to judge people by our own standards. On the whole, we believe that people are honest. As a result, it’s really confusing to be confronted with someone who consistently gaslights you. At work, it’s not just confusing but can affect your career, not to mention your mental wellbeing.
Examples of gaslighting at work:
Your boss told you that you had until the end of the month to complete a report, but today, she swears she told you it was due by this lunchtime.
You are always left off important email threads by a colleague who insists they sent it to you. When you question their actions they accuse you of over-reacting and being a drama queen.
Your manager takes credit for your idea and then manages to convince you that he had to do a lot of work to get it presentable.
Your co-worker is talking about you behind your back, but when you confront them, they deny it, saying it’s all in your mind.
So, how can you tell if someone is gaslighting you at work? Look out for the following signs.

3 Signs of Gaslighting at Work

  1. You feel as if something is off with a particular person whenever you interact with them

Do you come away from meetings with this person feeling undermined, confused, or disorientated? Normally, you are a confident member of society, with no issues, you’re no shrinking violet in the workplace. But there’s just something about this new boss or co-worker that tilts you off-balance.
You come away from interactions with them thinking something’s off, but you can’t put your finger on it. Trust your gut. Step back from the situation. Ask a colleague or a family member about your concerns. Try and put the situation into perspective.
  1. You’ve started to second guess and doubt yourself

Have you gone from a confident worker to someone that now constantly double-checks their work? Do you feel as if your memory is worsening? For example, you don’t trust yourself to remember important dates, deadlines, or meetings.
Do you feel as if you’re losing the plot sometimes? Like you’re going mad and can’t rely on your own judgement anymore? Are you doubting your capability to do the job? Do you feel depressed about the thought of encountering this person on a daily basis? Remember, it’s not you, it’s them.
  1. You are constantly accused of being too sensitive

Have you always prided yourself on your ability to take it on the chin? That you have broad shoulders and can take a joke? Have you always been self-deprecating, but now, you’re always being told you are too sensitive or that you’re a drama queen?
Do bosses tell you to man-up and get with the programme? Are you always feeling overwhelmed? Are you afraid of being accused of over-reacting, so you keep quiet? Do you feel isolated and helpless?

My Experience of Gaslighting at Work

I have an example of a gaslighting co-worker from an old job I had on the railways. A co-worker (let’s call her BS Sue) told me that she suffered from narcoleptic epilepsy and that her mother had died from brain cancer. Of course, I was immediately sympathetic. But BS Sue would start contradicting herself. One minute, her mother was 6 stone on her deathbed, the next week, she was 4 stone. One week, she’d died of brain cancer, the next month, it was breast cancer.
Things started to not add up. Then a fellow co-worker asked me out and we started dating. By this time, I’d moved in with BS Sue. The three of us kind of became an item in that we all went out together and would go out for meals together.
Then, something strange began to happen. My then-boyfriend from work started going off me. I would come home and find him and BS Sue sat together on the sofa, all cosy. When I arrived home, they’d stop talking.
Eventually, I moved out and ended the relationship with both of them. I found out later that she was spreading rumours that I slept around, I was cheating and that I was horrible to my boyfriend. I confronted her and she had a breakdown, screaming at me, ‘Everybody leaves me in the end!’

4 Ways to Deal with Gaslighting at Work

  1. Make notes of every incident so you have a record of the abuse when you go to HR and report it.
  2. Avoid one-on-ones with the perpetrator. Try and get any meetings or discussions in public where others are present.
  3. Write everything down, for instance, dates of meetings or deadlines for reports. Get the gaslighter to sign off on it.
  4. Set clear boundaries as to what you are expected to do as part of your job and what’s not expected.

Final Thoughts

We spend an awful lot of time at work, so gaslighting is particularly damaging. Call it out when you see it and remember, you’re not going mad.
References:
  1. www.britannica.com
  2. www.tandfonline.com
  3. Image courtesy Wikimedia Scene from the 1944 movie Gaslight with Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman

Janey Davies



About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
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publicado por achama às 21:18
Segunda-feira, 09 / 03 / 20

...

Are Intelligent Women Less Likely to Fall for Psychopaths and Narcissists?

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

March 7th, 2020.

 
intelligent women.
 

 

 
Do you think you would ever fall for a psychopath or narcissist? Most intelligent women think they wouldn’t. But skilled manipulators target all kinds of people. So can your smarts outwit a predator? Let’s find out.
 
How Likely Is It for Intelligent Women to Fall for Psychopaths and Narcissists?
 
We all like to think that we are intelligent enough to see behind the mask of a psychopath, but are we? Before we talk about intelligence, let us examine the characteristics of psychopaths and narcissists.
 
Psychopath traits
 
Psychopaths are charming, intelligent, and tend to be well-liked in society. They may have powerful jobs and earn a higher wage. They are also glib and have the gift of the gab. I mean, what’s not to like?
 
Narcissist traits
 
On the other hand, narcissists have perfected the mask they hide behind. They present their best side to the world, they have an over-inflated view of themselves and will lie and cheat to maintain this façade.
 
So it’s clear that we are dealing with some pretty devious characters here. But shouldn’t self-respecting intelligent women be able to see through the lies and manipulation? Not necessarily.
 
Studies have shown the opposite to be true. In fact, women are attracted to psychopathic traits.
 
 
“Psychopathic men have a personality style that makes them appear attractive to women in dating encounters. This may be because they are extra confident or feel at ease or know exactly what to say to get the attention of women,” Kristopher Brazil, PhD candidate at Brock University.
 
In one study, an assistant engaged in a two-minute dating scenario conservation with males. She asked the men what they liked to do on a first date and recorded their responses. After the questions, the males completed assessments of psychopathy, socio-sexuality and social intelligence.
 
These videos were then played to 108 young women who were asked to rate the attractiveness of the men. The study found women rated men with psychopathic tendencies highly. In other words, they found psychopaths more attractive.
 
So it seems we are predisposed to find psychopathy attractive, but can our intelligence help us to sort out the manipulators?
Why intelligent women can’t help falling for psychopaths and narcissists
 
We judge people by our own standards
 
Psychopaths use their charm and intelligence to get what they want. They have no conscience so will use any means necessary at their disposal. Now, the problem with this is that most people are not psychopaths. However, we assume that everyone acts the way we do.
 
We believe we all share the same moral compass, the same values and are decent at heart. We cannot imagine how people can act in a despicable way. If it’s not in our nature, surely it can’t be in anyone else’s.
 
But of course, this is not the case. Just because we wouldn’t cheat or lie or gaslight someone, it doesn’t mean that others won’t.
 
We all believe we have empathy for other people, but some are born without empathy. They have no regard for other people’s feelings. They have no conscience.
 
The other problem is that not every psychopath is like Hannibal Lecter. Some psychopaths only tick a few points on the Hare’s Psychopath Checklist. In fact, studies show that psychopaths will use their charm and deceit in the short-term in order to snare their victims. But they can’t keep this pretence up long-term. Why? Because their selfish needs are their ultimate goals.
 
In other words, they’ll only schmooze you until they’ve got what they want.
 
Psychopaths are excellent manipulators
 
The other problem is that psychopaths and narcissists are born manipulators. They have this innate talent to charm, deceive and play the ordinary person. They’ve spent years, decades even, perfecting their craft. So they know exactly what to say to turn you on, to hold your interest, to keep the spotlight on them.
 
“Psychopathic men are really good at pretending to display what women are attracted to. They’re really good at putting on this mask, and making themselves look attractive . . . You exude a larger-than-life presence, and give off an impression of greatness.” Kristopher Brazil
 
Psychopaths will make you feel like the most special person in the room. They’ll flatter and charm you, and you’ll feel like the luckiest girl in the world. But of course, they only do it to get what they want.
 
These types of manipulators are always confident. They are at ease with themselves, and intelligent women find confident men extremely attractive.
 
Psychopaths also have a box of tricks up their sleeves when it comes to manipulating someone. They pull you into their circle by telling you false secrets about someone. They draw you in by revealing a confidence they shouldn’t have.
 
They will often do small favours and then ask for a larger one in return. This elicits trust and a desire to reciprocate the help.
We care about our loved ones
 
One way psychopaths and narcissists are able to fool intelligent women is because they are incapable of the most basic human emotions. In fact, studies have shown that they only mimic emotions to blend in or deceive people around them.
 
“Functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) research indicates that psychopaths are incapable of experiencing basic human emotions and feelings of guilt, remorse, or empathy.” Corporate Psychopath expert Paul Babiak and Forensic Behavioral Consultant Mary Ellen O’Toole
 
In relationships or the work environment, having no emotions can have a huge benefit, especially if you want to gain an advantage over someone. On the other hand, if you are an emotional person and care deeply about your partner or colleagues, you might agonise over decisions you have to make.
 
Overly emotional people can feel guilty about breaking up with a partner. So much so that they put it off. Bosses may put up with shoddy work because they feel responsible for their staff.
 
Caring for other people can clearly be a disadvantage in certain circumstances. It can interfere with the way you do your job, or how you cope in a relationship.
 
How can intelligent women recognise a psychopath or narcissist?
 
I’m saying intelligent women are not less likely to fall for psychopaths or narcissists. In fact, it’s difficult for anyone to resist their charms. So how can you resist?
 
Do other people question this individual’s actions?
 
Sometimes we can be so under a person’s spell we can’t see the wood for the trees. Are you ignoring advice from close friends? Do family members raise concerns about this individual? If multiple people are worried, you should be too.
 
Does this individual pick on your vulnerabilities?
 
Psychopaths have a pathological need to damage their victims once they are drawn in. In fact, they are driven by their victim’s vulnerabilities. They can’t help themselves. If your new boyfriend has turned particularly nasty and was once charming, he might be a psychopath.
 
Does he play mind games with you?
 
Gaslighting and mind games are favourite manipulation tools for this individual. It’s how he gets his kicks. If you start questioning yourself, thinking that you are going mad, you could be a victim of a psychopath.
 
Final thoughts
 
It doesn’t matter how intelligent woman you are. If a psychopath or narcissist has you in their sights, it’s only a matter of time before you become their victim.
 
 
References:
 

 

Janey Davies

 





About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

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publicado por achama às 01:43
Sábado, 07 / 03 / 20

“Fall of the Cabal” Docuseries Red Pill

“Fall of the Cabal” 

Docuseries Red Pill 

Prepare for change

Posted March 5, 2020 by Gerry Gomez.

 
.

 

 

Prepare for Change receives a lot of questions on how to red pill friends and family. We always suggest care and patience, but it’s still a very emotional triggering topic.
In mid-February, a truth-teller named Janet Ossebaard from the Netherlands posted a carefully constructed and painstakingly created docuseries titled, “Fall of the Cabal.” As one might imagine, it goes into detail regarding real events and provides clear examples with a very compassionate purpose of exposing some of the horrific crimes of the cabal.
Ossebaard explains that her purpose is to wake up people, not traumatize them. In this area of information, this is not an easy task to do, but the documentarian uses examples and poses questions that should become rhetorical to the viewer.
Fall of the Cabal speaks about false-flags with an objective perspective of time and alternative revelations, goes into human trafficking, pedophilia, media manipulation, ritual sacrifices, and finishes by offering a positive perspective of what’s being done as many awakened would attest to. One of the most under circulated events she shows in the series is the footage of a naked child who fashioned an escape rope to attempt an escape from a second story Windsor palace window. The child heartbreakingly doesn’t make the escape and is shown falling. Her effort contains thousands of hours of research and Ossebaard herself asks that annons do their own research and double-check everything she presents. As those who follow Prepare for Change know, the whole presentation aligns with the years of information this site has presented.
Please take the time – about three hours total – to view this important series and consider sharing with your loved ones.
Also, please visit Ossebaard’s website and YouTube channel. Consider supporting her work as she put over two years of effort into this piece while not working. Find her PayPal donation here: Janet Ossebaard PayPal

General Overview

This is the BEST red pill documentary expose̒ of the ugly truths about our world and the people who run it that’s been shared in a while. The narrator includes a lot of information in ten relatively short episodes and offers insight into the QAnon movement. Mind-blowing information for the uninitiated and some surprises even for those familiar with the topic! Alert Reader has provided summaries of all available videos.

Part 1 – The End of the World as We Know It

The narrator opens with inconvenient truths about the recent wildfires in California, mercury in vaccines, chemtrails, organ harvesting, reptilian and satanic symbols in Vatican buildings, 911, false flag victims and subliminal messages in children’s entertainment. If that isn’t enough, she goes on to expose man-made viruses, cell phones and TVs that spy on us and the poisoning of our food supply by Monsanto/Bayer. What do all of these have in common? They are completely ignored by the mainstream media.

Part 2 – Down the Rabbit Hole

This episode traces the beginnings of the QAnon movement with examples of cryptic posts and phrases revealing secret societies and political corruption. The involvement of the Rothschild and Rockefeller families in banking, the Federal Reserve and the control of conventional medicine is discussed. George Soros’ connections to NAMBLA and ANTIFA are revealed.

Part 3 – The Alien Invasion

The truth about the “migrant invasion” and its connection to George Soros is exposed. Narrator explains how MSM twisted facts to make Trump look bad, ignoring his efforts to combat human trafficking.

Part 4 – Childlovers Everywhere

This episode delves into the Haitian orphanage child trafficking scandal involving the Clinton Foundation and the misuse of charitable donations by groups like Oxfam and the Red Cross. It reveals pedophile symbolism used by organizations dedicated to “helping children” and their connection to high profile politicians. It also exposes the Hollywood connection to pedophilia and the rampant sexual abuse of children including child actors. A real eye opener.

Part 5 – Children, Art, & Pizza

Sexualization of children and normalization of paedophilia, lowering the age of consent by judges and politicians like Ruth Bader Ginsberg and Theresa May amongst others. Paedophile logos used in advertisement, (Disney)films and cartoons, Child Protection Services, Adoption Agencies, in Politics etc. Pizagate, Comet Pingpong, sickening art and James Achilles Alefantes (a Rothschild) and his friends.

 

Part 6 – Major Media Manipulation

This episode discusses the extent of fake news and propaganda being disseminated by the major news organizations, who owns them and why choice is an illusion. It reveals how disinformation is used to drum up support for wars, shape our perceptions of people and events and promote a narrative. Events that do not support that narrative are simply never reported. Snopes is also exposed as a fraud.
Part 7 – Witches & Warlocks
The relationship of controversial artists like Maria Abramovic (known for “spirit cooking”) to high profile figures is discussed, along with satanic symbols in art and entertainment. Cannibalism is a recurrent theme. The suspicious suicides of musicians and celebrities who were victims of “death by hanging from a doorknob”, including Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain are examined. The rest of the video is devoted to the Dutch and British royal families and their connections to known pedophiles and Nazis.

Part 8 – Beyond Kings & Queens

This episode delves into the dark side of pedophilia, exposing cults who engage in satanic ritual abuse and the murder of children for adrenochrome. It also investigates the association of the British royal family, the Pope and celebrities with these groups. Red shoes anyone? How about the genocide of 50,000 native Canadian children?

Part 9 – The Dawn of a New World

The rise of populist movements around the world like the Yellow Vests and QAnon are examined. While the public is becoming aware of the existence of sex cults like NXIVM, other scandals like the Rosatom affair involving the Clintons are being covered up. Get ready for some bombshells about Obama, John McCain, the Dalai Lama and the true identity of Osama bin Laden.

Part 10 – The Return of the King

The final episode is a hopeful one. It promotes the theory that JFK Jr. is still very much alive and working with Donald Trump through Q to rid the world of the cabal that killed his father. The narrator drops some tantalizing clues involving a George magazine cover and books by Ingersoll Lockwood. Who is the mysterious Vincent Fusca? Can we really go back in time? The narrator proposes that we are on the verge of a new paradigm, a beautiful new world of free energy, a new banking system and new medical system. Can it be true? I pray it is so.
 
.

 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 13:56
Domingo, 23 / 02 / 20

5 Signs of Blame Shifting and How to Deal with It.

 

5 Signs of Blame Shifting and How to Deal with It.

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted February 23rd, 2020.

 
 

 
 
One of the things I despise the most is someone who can never take responsibility for their actions. Blame shifting is their second nature.
 
I hate to admit that I’m way too familiar with blame-shifting. For years of my life, I thought everything was my fault, even when obviously it wasn’t – it was complete with evidence in my favor. Did that evidence ever make the blame shifter stop in their tracks?
 
Nope. That’s because a blame shifter is good at what they do, and they will do it as long as they can get away with it.
 
Blame shifting is insidious
 
The biggest issue with blame-shifting is that it can greatly damage a healthy person’s self-esteem. This heinous act will leave you questioning facts about your life and about your character as well. Shifting the blame onto someone else can be dangerous and completely destroy lives.
 
I know all this sounds like an exaggeration, but unfortunately, it’s not. Many otherwise mentally healthy individuals have been hurt so badly that they constantly question their self-worth. Do you know what we need to do? We need to see blame shifters before they get to us.
 
Recognizing the storm before it hits
 
1. The apology with strings attached
 
If by chance, you get the blame shifter to apologize at all, which hardly ever happens, they will use the “I’m sorry, but…” tactic. What I mean by this is that they will apologize, but they have to add some sort of defensive mechanism to the apology.
 
Whether they are about to put some of the blame on you or make an excuse for their behavior, you will recognize them by their inability to apologize without the added “but”, which totally eliminates the sincerity of the responsibility. What they are doing is finding a crack to slip out from under what they’ve done wrong.
 
2. Because of this, and because of that
 
Shifting the blame can be as easy as using cause and effect. While cause and effect do exist, responsibility is the main concern. Listen to this small interaction to understand:
 
Real victim: “You really hurt my feelings when you yelled at me.”
 
Blame shifter: “Well, if you would stop complaining about the same thing over and over, I wouldn’t.”
 
There are two ways that the blame shifter is really in the wrong. First of all, they shouldn’t be continuing behavior that makes someone else constantly complain. Most people complain when something bothers them, and they want to communicate.
 
Blame shifters don’t usually communicate, and so the problem gets ignored. After much complaining, they use verbal abuse as a scare tactic. There are many other situations like this where toxic people use the cause and effect technique to excuse any blame placed on themselves.
 
3. No communication
 
Blame shifting always comes with the inability to communicate. While these people can talk about problems on the surface level, when they are proven wrong, they clam up. They have no excuses or reasons for their behavior. They may even outright lie.
 
Then, ultimately, they will say there’s no reason to discuss the issue anymore. This is so damaging because it leaves the issues hanging and they’re never resolved. Then this causes bitterness to set in. Many marriages have failed due to the lack of healthy and honest communication. And most of the time, you will recognize the blame shifter by their communication aversion.
 
4. The pity party
 
You will also know you have yourself a blame shifter when they start telling you stories about their troubled childhood and how it makes them the way they are. While many people really did have a bad childhood, the toxic person will tell this story and exaggerate it to keep from taking the blame for present issues or mistakes.
 
It’s also okay to talk about past issues and how they’ve made you do things, but you cannot use this excuse for every mistake you make. If you cannot take the blame for doing something now, you will always be a child. Watch out for the pity party.
5. Flipping the script
 
This is an old term, but it fits so perfectly with a tactic that the blame shifter uses. When they’ve been caught red-handed, their first response is shock, their second response is to find the quickest way to turn the incident over onto you… using you as the villain.
 
Now, I know what you must be thinking, “How could someone caught in the act make the victim look bad?”
 
Well, they use carefully calculated manipulation. For example, let’s say you went to see your husband at work and he wasn’t there, and so, when he arrived home at the usual time, you asked him about it.
 
Now, some people will lie and say they had to leave for this or that reason, but if the blame shifter wants, he can turn the attention to you. He might say, “Why were you stalking my workplace?”, “What is wrong with you?”, oh, and my favorite, “You still don’t trust me, do you?” and then proceed to make an excuse for where he was, then stay mad for several days.
 
The blame for the whole confrontation is now your fault. You should have minded your own business and stayed at home.
 
How do we deal with these people?
 
Well, I hope you never have to endure such people because they have serious issues with themselves. Never ever believe that these things are your fault. Anyone who cannot take logical blame for their imperfections has a problem that can only be fixed by them or by professional help.
 
If you happen to be in a marriage with someone like this or stuck in a situation you cannot get out of at the moment, you will have to find various ways to living with this issue, and it’s a difficult one.
 
Honestly, it’s almost impossible to confront someone like this without being verbally abused or taking their blame on yourself. This will make you unhealthy, both mentally and physically over time.
 
Your best outcome would be if your loved one came to you for help and genuinely wanted to change. Believe it or not, some people eventually see what they’ve become. In this case, it’s worth sticking around. If there is no desire to change, then the choice is yours.
 
Just remember, none of this nonsense is about you, and sometimes it’s best to walk away than to get into arguments with toxic people because you will never win. If this applies to you, I hope everything works out for the best.

 

Sherrie Hurd



Image credit: Stephen Hawking is giving a lecture for NASA’s 50th anniversary/NASA

 

 

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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 22:27
Domingo, 26 / 01 / 20

Spectacular Super Snow Moon Phenomenon Not to Miss This February

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 25th, 2020.

 
 

 
The celestial beauty of the heavens wouldn’t be complete without the allure of the Super snow moon in February. You don’t want to miss it!
 
Ever since I was a small child, I would gaze into the heavens in amazement. I would reach up and try to grasp the stars in my hand. Also, I would trace the moon with my finger and yes, I did imagine the craters as little indentions on cheese.
 
 
My imagination was fueled by the beauty of the skies. I even heard the story of the man in the moon. If I looked close enough, I could make out his features. But it would be years before I learned the names of the moons according to the months, including the supermoon coming as 2020’s February full moon.
 
What Is the Super Snow Moon?
 
On February 9, 2020, our full moon will rise and be known by many people as the super snow moon. It will be bright, and illuminate deep snowfall in some areas of the world, hence the name.
 
It will also be at its perigee, meaning it will be larger than usual, this is where the “super” part of the title applies. To me, this special full moon will add warm feelings to this darkened cold and sometimes heavy time of the year.
 
There’s another fascinating fact about the special February moon, as well. Every 19 years, it doesn’t exist. That’s right, after almost two decades of February full moons, both January and March have two full moons and February is void of this magic. It sounds kind of sad, but also extremely interesting. So, every now and then, we won’t see the super snow moon, so we should enjoy its beauty when we can.
 
But on the other hand, we witness a phenomenon called the dark moon, which is just as exciting as it is ominous. The wonders of the world never cease to amaze me.
 
Here’s a secret – not everyone calls the February full moon the super snow moon. No, not at all. This moon has many names, deriving from many areas around the world.
 
For instance, the English call this full moon, the “Wolf Moon”. From long ago both in Medieval England and among Pagans, this moon was called “the storm moon”. So, although the February full moon names have similarities, they are different from region to region. In the U.S., there are numerous names for this supermoon phenomenon.
 
Native American Origins
 
So, I guess you’re wondering why the February 9th full moon is called the super snow moon, aren’t you? Well, that is because according to weather reports and the farmer’s almanac, February receives the most snowfall in the United States. Now you can see the obvious correlation.
 
However, the native Americans had many names for this deep winter moon. These names varied according to the different tribes in the U.S.
 
Many names for the February full moon:
 
1. Wishram of the Pacific Northwest
 
The native people of the Pacific Northwest called the February moon the “Shoulder to shoulder around the Fire moon” because they literally had to sit tightly side by side around the fire to stay warm.
 
2. Cherokee of the Southeast
 
The Cherokee natives considered the full moon of February the “bone moon”. This name came about because of the scarcity of food during the deep winter. Usually, the majority of nutrition came from the marrow of bones or bone broth.
 
3. Lakota of the Southwest
 
The February supermoon was also called the “Moon when the trees crack because of the cold”. Wow! Can you imagine the deep cold that inspires such a name?
 
4. Arapaho in the Mid-West
 
Natives of this area called the February full moon, “Frost sparkling in the sun” because even though February is one of the coldest months in the U.S., the snow which covers many areas seems tosparkle under the moonlight as if it was light from the sun. When observed, this kind of beauty couldn’t possibly be easily forgotten.
 
There are many other notable Native American full moon names such as the “Coyote moon”originating from the Shoshone people’s story about fox and coyote both wanting to be the moon. It’s an interesting and fanciful story. Then there is the Cree who considered the February moon, “the old moon”.
 
The list goes on and on, with most names either representing the frigid cold or the lack of food for the native people. One of the most memorable ones is “the hunger moon” because it represents the simple fact that February was a month when everyone, even though they were starving, remained strong with whatever resources they had available.
 
But, I will say that the super snow moon remains a favorite, simply because it invokes a feeling of power. Now, that’s a much better way to look at this beautiful phenomenon.
 
So, when can you see the February super snow moon?
 
 
As with all the other magnificent full moons each month, the February moon shouldn’t be missed either. The moon will be at its fullest on Sunday, February 9, 2020, at 2:34 a.m. EST.
 
If you live in the U.S., this time or any hour close to this time may be a little late or too early for some. The alternative would be to view the fullest part of the full moon as late as you can on Saturday night.
 
Use these opportunities to get great images of the super snow moon. In fact, each month, don’t miss a capture of the full moon, compare them and notice changes in position, coloration, size, and beauty.
 
It’s been a while since I lay in the grass and stared up into the heavens, but I think I might wrap uptight and lay under the super snow moon for a while, careful not to fall asleep and freeze. After all, I’ve also heard this moon represents changes as well. We’ll see!
 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

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publicado por achama às 18:59
Sábado, 25 / 01 / 20

7 Micromanagement Examples in Family, Friend Circles, and the Workplace

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 24th, 2020.

 
 


 
There are so many micromanagement examples because there are so many ways this controlling behavior can be used.

Micromanaging is basically a form of control, although it can seem a bit more subtle in operation. For example, those who are guilty of micromanaging usually don’t even know they are doing this. They see their hovering or helping as just that, helping someone improve their life. They do this even when no one’s asked them to.

Why is micromanaging wrong?

This sort of behavior is wrong for several reasons. For one, you cannot control what others do. Although you may succeed in controlling behavior for a while, ultimately, people are going to do what they want.

Micromanaging doesn’t allow people to learn. Basically, it does things for them or takes away their ideas and exchanges them for what the controller thinks is a better option. Just like these people aren’t always aware of what they do, we aren’t always aware of the signs that someone we know does this either. There are ways to discover the behavior, however.

What are some micromanagement examples?

1. You would have done things differently

Here’s an example of micromanaging: No matter how someone completes a project, you see a different way that, to you, would have been better.

Not only do you see this in your mind and roll it over in your head, you tell them about it. You tell your coworker, friend, or partner, that there would have been a much better way of cleaning at work or planning a party with friends. It doesn’t matter, because you think you know what’s best.

2. You have to know everything about everything

Micromanaging also includes the nasty habit of being aware of absolutely everything.

For instance, if a mother is a micromanager when her child returns from school, she will want to know every single detail of the child’s day. From the time they got off the bus until the moment they arrived home, all this must be known because this urgency, which a micromanager usually has, can be softened.

3. Help has become control

There’s a big difference between being helpful and being controlling. If you want to help someone, whether at work or at home, that’s fine. You can offer solutions and ideas.

However, if you force someone to do things your way right from the start, you are simply being controlling. There’s no pretty way to say it. For couples, controlling behavior that comes from micromanaging can become extremely fierce.

4. You’re making huge decisions for others

There are some things that even children need to decide for themselves. One example is when a teen is nearing graduation, and they have to pick a college they wish to attend. If you micromanage, you will push your teenager toward the college that YOU prefer, not the college that pricks their interests.

Micromanaging in this area can affect the entire course of your child’s life and their dreams. Think about it. What if your child wishes to play a certain sport, and the college you push them to join doesn’t allow them to major in that sport. You could scar your child and make them think much differently about you.

5. Removing motivation when mistakes are made

One of the typical examples of micromanagement is when motivation or morale is removed due to a simple mistake. This happens so often in the workplace, for example, when someone makes a small mistake that can easily be fixed.

A supervisor who micromanages will punish the employee for the small mistake, and not even show them why the mistake was made. This kills morale, and honestly, it can cause more mistakes to be made as well. This is one of the reasons that so many people are fired from their jobs. It can be avoided by eliminating micromanaging.

6. Mothers are too protective

Did you know that if you are too protective of your child, even as a toddler, you can sow seeds of dependence on others? That’s right. Micromanaging your child, for instance, on playdates with other children, will teach the child that you will always step in to save them. It will remove responsibility as well.

Hey, trust me, I know grown men who’ve been protected in this manner and cannot take the blame for anything. Mothers, in order to not be a micromanagement example, you have to let children work through their difficulties just a bit before you and the other parents step in to help and sort things out.

7. You’re making someone feel inferior

This example can be used with work relationships, family situations, and even couples. Micromanaging in a way that you are putting yourself on a pedestal not only looks stupid, but it also makes people feel inferior. It trains them to just go along with whatever you say because they are used to doing so.

So when they do have great ideas, you will be the last one to know about, and the last one to celebrate when ideas create something great worthy of a reward.

In reality, it is just control

Just face it, you want to control everything so everything cannot control you. It’s fear at its worst. At least that’s one reason why you, the micromanager, do this. So, you know that it must stop in order to live a normal life.

If this is not you, and you’re dealing with this, always remember your worth, and keep fighting to be heard. Try to show micromanagers what they’re actually doing to you and to themselves, and maybe they will be willing to get better.

I sure do hope so.


 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 02:00
Segunda-feira, 13 / 01 / 20

6 Mentalism Tricks That Will Allow You to Read People’s Minds

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

January 7th, 2020.

 
Mentalism Tricks.
 


 
Mentalism is everywhere in our lives. Fictional characters such as Sherlock Holmesuse mentalism tricks to solve clues. Not to mention the highly successful US TV show – The Mentalist is based around this phenomenon. In addition, UK performer Derren Brown has made a career from using mentalism and performing tricks in his shows. So, what exactly is this technique and how do people use it?
 
A Personal Experience of Mentalism Tricks
 
I went to a Derren Brown show a couple of years ago. Derren picked members of the audience to participate in the show by throwing a frisbee. I managed to catch it.
 
 
My job was to choose a number from 100 to 200. I randomly picked a number which I wrote down and placed in an envelope. This number was integral of a series of other answers given by audience members who had also been randomly selected throughout the show.
 
To this day, I have no idea how he managed to guess all our answers. The weird thing is that they all related to one another in some way. Moreover, if he had got just one answer wrong, they all would have been wrong.
 
So what exactly are mentalism tricks? A mentalist, such as Derren Brown, will use a variety of ways to read you.
 
6 Different Tricks of Mentalism
  1. Studying body language
  2. Subconscious communication
  3. Simple trickery
  4. Understanding human behaviour
  5. Cold reading
  6. Power of suggestion
 
Let’s examine each method in turn and discover the tricks of mentalism:
 
Studying Body Language
 
A mentalist’s greatest strength is his or her ability to understand body language. Gifted mentalists will use this to supposedly read people’s minds. In other words – telepathy.
 
Actually, if you break down the word telepathy, you get ‘tele’, which means distant, and ‘pathy’, which means perception or feeling. This is exactly what a mentalist does to read your mind. They get a feeling from a distance and using their knowledge of body language to interpret this feeling.
 
When reading someone’s body language, the first thing a mentalist will do is establish a person’s base level. So they may start with fairly innocuous questions to gauge a normal reaction. For example, a person might have a habit of playing with their hair. If you didn’t know this was normal behaviour, you might assume they were hiding something later on in the questioning process.
 
Remember that mentalists take years to perfect their observations on body language. However, the main areas they’ll focus on are the face and hands.
 
 
On the face, they will look at movement around the mouth when talking. Does the person push their lips out when speaking? This is a sign they are forcing their words out and might not believe what they are saying. Likewise, do they cover their mouth while speaking?
 
This is an indicator of lying.
 
What is their blink rate like? Look out for the ‘blink sandwich’. This is a fast succession of blinks before a lie, no blinks during the lie, then another burst of fast blinks. This happens because the person lying will often stare at their accuser to make their lie seem more truthful.
 
However, their eyes cannot keep up the pretence and need to blink. Hence the rapid blinks either side.
Subconscious communication
 
Are you the sort of person that always seems to receive great customer service? Or is it the opposite? Would you be surprised to learn that either way it might be your subconscious communications that are influencing others and predicting these outcomes?
 
Imagine two scenarios:
In the first, you are late for work and rush into a coffee shop. You are flustered and unkempt and when it is your turn to be served, you bark ‘coffee’ at the server without looking up.
In the second scene, you have a day off and are meeting friends. You stroll in, walk up to the counter, smile at the server and ask for coffee.
 
These two scenes are practically identical but for a slight tweak in attitude. But it is your subconscious communication that is speaking clearly here. What kind of service do you suppose you would receive for each scenario?
 
Remember, if it is so easy for novices like ourselves to understand, imagine how a mentalist could use it to read a person?
 
Simple Trickery
 
Most of us would like to believe that we wouldn’t be fooled by magic tricks, especially the really easy ones. But some of the best are the simple tricks. If you like programmes such as Perception with US actor Eric McCormack as Dr Daniel Pierce, you’ll be used to seeing mentalism tricks such as these.
 
For instance, in one episode, Dr Pierce ‘demonstrates’ his mind-reading abilities. He consistently guesses correctly from a deck of cards the right symbol his colleague is thinking of. His colleague is amazed until Dr Pierce reveals that he can see the cards his colleague is holding in the reflection of the colleague’s glasses.
 
Understanding Human Behaviour
 
I had gone to a psychic fair held locally and had managed to book the last sitting with a popular clairvoyant.
 
Just as she began my reading, a lady walked up and sadly said ‘Is it too late to book?’ The clairvoyant said ‘Yes, I’m sorry, this is my last sitting,’ gesturing to me. The lady was about to turn away and the clairvoyant stood up, grabbed her hand and said ‘It will be alright you know, you’ve suffered a terrible tragedy, but they are in a better place now.’
 
The lady broke down and said ‘Thank you’ and went on her way. I wondered afterwards, how did she know? But of course, this clairvoyant had been in the business for decades. I’m not taking anything away from her. She was an extremely kind lady to get up and offer the woman some solace.
 
Having said that, did she have clairvoyant skills or did she simply understand that this lady needed some kind of closure?
 
Cold Reading
 
This is a particularly pernicious way of using mentalism tricks to get people to open up about themselves. You could relate it back to the previous story in fact.
 
 
Cold reading is when the reader has no clue at all about their audience. So they throw out random or general facts that could apply to almost anyone. It’s a little like your horoscopes. They are fishing for a bite. Once someone has bitten they can trawl them in with vague questions until they hit on the jackpot.
 
Cold reading uses a number of techniques to help them. They will use information about certain groups of people in order to pigeon-hole people. For example, young girls are likely to have problems with self-esteem. They’ll employ certain tactics such as ‘Barnum statements’ like ‘You feel anxious meeting new people’ or ‘When you try hard you succeed in whatever you do.’
 
Fishing is an example of a specific statement like ‘I can see a car accident here is significant’. Then, if this is picked up the audience will be impressed. If it is not the mentalist will quickly move on.
 
Power of Suggestion
 
Finally, the last but probably most important of our tricks involving mentalism is the power of suggestion. This is because it can be used in so many ways to manipulate us, and not just by performers. One person, Jay Olsen, found that his hobby of magic and illusion helped his career in psychology.
 
 
“Lots of what they said about attention and memory were just what magicians had been saying in a different way.” Jay Olson at McGill University in Quebec, Canada
 
Olsen devised a simple experiment in which he flicked through a deck of cards, then asked an audience member to choose one. When the card was revealed, Olsen took out the exact card from his jacket pocket.
 
So what was the mentalism trick he used? Olsen says that whilst shuffling through the pack, he lingered for a couple of milliseconds longer on the chosen card. This was enough for participants to choose it.
 
 
This easy manipulation technique has far-reaching implications, as Olsen is keen to point out. It even works on restaurant menus. Olsen says that we are more likely to choose from the very top or bottom of the menu. This is because these areas immediately attract our eyes.
 
So, while we think we might fancy the steak, really it’s just because it’s there at the top.
Final Thoughts
 
Mentalism tricks show just how easy it is for people to read our minds. But don’t forget, if they can read ours, we can use these same techniques and read theirs!
 
References:

 

 
Janey Davies

 





About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

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publicado por achama às 16:16
Sábado, 28 / 12 / 19

20 Signs of a Narcissistic Perfectionist Who Is Poisoning Your Life

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

December 27th, 2019.

 
Narcissistic Perfectionist signs.
 
 
 
Psychological terms such as narcissism and perfectionist have been around for decades. We understand their character traits, even if we don’t possess them ourselves. But what happens when the two collide? Is there such a thing as a narcissistic perfectionist? And if so, what impact does it have on a person’s life?
 
Understanding the Narcissistic Perfectionist
 
It is easy to explain this kind of person. We simply break down the two components of their personality.
 
 
So, we know that narcissists, as well as putting themselves first, have the following character traits:
 
Narcissists:
  • A grandiose sense of self
  • A sense of entitlement
  • They think they are special and unique
 
On the other hand, perfectionists set themselves impossibly high standards.
 
Perfectionists:
  • Strive for flawless performance
  • They will work tirelessly, be extremely self-critical.
  • Some will have a tendency to procrastinate.
 
Now, it’s not quite as simple as putting these two character traits together. This is because the narcissist who is also a perfectionist projects their perfectionism onto other people, not themselves. This is the difference between a perfectionist and a person with narcissistic traits.
 
The narcissistic perfectionist sets these unrealistic goals and targets for other people. Furthermore, they get angry and hostile if they don’t reach these impossible goals.
 
Dr. Simon Sherry is a clinical psychologist and an associate professor. He works in the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience.
 
 
“Narcissistic perfectionists have a need for other people to satisfy their unreasonable expectations… And if you don’t, they get angry.” Dr. Simon Sherry
 
Studies into This Type of Personality
 
Studies included researching the biographies of famous CEOs with narcissistic perfectionism. Employees reported their bosses lashing out at them for very minor mistakes. They would be held in high-esteem one minute then go from ‘hero to zero’ the next.
 
 
In addition, employees would be routinely derogated in front of co-workers. The CEOs would be hyper-critical, to the point of outright hostility.
 
So why is this combination so lethal?
 
“But high expectations paired with feelings of grandiosity and entitlement to the perfect performance of others creates a much more negative combination.” Dr. Simon Sherry
 
So far we have talked about top CEOs, but what about in everyday life? What if the perfectionist narcissist is a member of your own family?
 
Logan Nealis is a Clinical Psychology Ph.D. student. He is working with the Personality Research Team.
 
 
“A narcissistic perfectionist parent demands perfect performance from his daughter on the hockey rink, but not necessarily from anyone else out there.” Logan Nealis
 
But it’s not just about demanding perfection from people around them. It is also about basking in the glow of success through the perfection achieved by those around them. The narcissist can say, through these perfect achievements, ‘Look how good I am!’
Typical Behaviors of a Narcissistic Perfectionist
 
So how can you spot someone with narcissistic perfectionist tendencies? According to recent studies, there are several major red flags:
 
“Our most consistent finding across the two studies is that narcissistic perfectionism is associated with social negativity in the form of anger, derogation, conflict and hostility,” explains Dr. Sherry.
 
This social negativity goes hand-in-hand with the narcissist’s sense of superiority. So they won’t just take the time to critically humiliate you. In fact, they’ll do all of that whilst maintaining this sense that they are better than you.
 
The narcissist who also believes in perfectionism will react in violent and hostile outbursts. These outbursts will be a complete over-reaction to the mistake in question. For example, imagine that you have made one very small spelling error on a document. The narcissist perfectionist boss would drag you out in front of your co-workers, shout and scream at you and sack you on the spot.
 
Also, don’t forget, any errors will never be the narcissist’s fault. It is inconceivable to them that they might be wrong or the mistake is theirs. This black and white thinking just adds to the problem.
 
“In the world view of a narcissistic perfectionist, the problem exists outside of themselves. It’s the co-worker, it’s the spouse, it’s the roommate.” Dr Sherry
 
20 Signs Someone You Know Is a Narcissistic Perfectionist
 
  1. Many of us work for bosses that demand perfection. But what’s the difference between someone who wants the best work from you, or the narcissist who just happens to be a perfectionist too? And what about family and friends? Do you recognise any of the following signs?
  2. They set impossible demands/targets/goals
  3. These goals are for everyone else, not themselves
  4. They react inappropriately when something does not go their way
  5. You are always walking on eggshells around them
  6. You never know how they are going to react
  7. They are hyper-critical in everything you do
  8. Everything you do is up for criticism
  9. The rules apply to you but not to them
  10. They can bend the rules, but you never can
  11. They get impatient with you
  12. They demand great things from you
  13. You can’t ever be yourself around them
  14. You’re afraid of them
  15. They’re unprofessional at work
  16. They expect too much from you
  17. You’re not allowed to offer ‘excuses’
  18. It’s never their fault
  19. They are always right
  20. They don’t want to hear explanations
  21. If you make a mistake, they get hostile and angry
 
You might recognise some of the above signs. They may apply to a boss, a partner, a friend or a family member. Dealing with the narcissistic perfectionist in your life depends on the circumstances. If it is your boss, there might not be much you can do apart from seeking alternative employment.
 
For personal relationships, however, Dr. Sherry believes that getting the person to understand the impact of their behaviour is the way forward. Typically, the narcissist will not seek treatment. They may do it only in the end stages when their marriage has failed, or they have lost a company for example.
 
Final Thoughts
 
It is extremely difficult to change the mindset of a narcissist, particularly one with perfectionist traits. Sometimes the only thing you can do is leave, for your own sanity.
  1. medicalxpress.com
  2. www.sciencedaily.com
  3. www.researchgate.net
 

 
Janey Davies

 





About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

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publicado por achama às 06:17
Domingo, 22 / 12 / 19

What Is Neuro-Linguistic Programming and 6 Signs Someone Is Using It on You

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted December 20th, 2019.

 



 
Did you know that manipulation and influence aren’t the same? One is conducted for selfish reasons, the other, to improve or change. While we know that outright manipulation is a negative thing, we cannot say this 100% about influence. For example, we influence our children in hopes they will become mature and respected adults, right? Yes, and influence can also be used in the workplace to help employees improve on the job. Scientists call this neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), and it can also be used for both good or bad reasons.
 
What is neuro-linguistic programming and where did it come from?
 
NLP is a psychological method that involves using body language, patterns, and expressions to gage and influence someone in one way or the other. This influence is designed to achieve a goal, either negative or positive.
 
Richard Bandler and John Grinder came up with the term “NLP” in the 70s’. Abandoning “talk therapy”, they decided to focus on tactics that bring behavioral change instead, and this is what neuro-linguistic programming was about. In fact, it’s an evolution of certain aspects of hypnotherapy.
 
But unlike hypnotherapy, which requires the subject to be under suggestion while in a trance, NLP uses subtle suggestions on the subconscious mind of a person who is wide awake. And this person never even knows it’s happening.
 
How does it work?
 
By watching slight clues, a person can use NLP to determine a few basic things about another individual. Neuro-linguistic programming looks at nervous movements, skin flush, dilation of pupils, and even the movement of the eyes. These little indicators answer three questions.
  • What sense is the person using? (sight, hearing, smell)
  • Which side of the brain is currently being used
  • How their brain storage works and how they utilize information
 
After these questions are answered, then the NPLer can mimic these. Copying these indicators helps build rapport between the two. In order to “influence” someone, it’s best to be in a sort of agreement with their body language. While it can be difficult to completely change the mindset of another person, you can use NLP to guide them toward a decision they were rolling over in their brains just by copying them.
 
However, this technique can be used on you, and you might not even know it. No matter if its manipulation or influence, it can definitely feel like you’re being unwillingly persuaded if not used in a completely positive manner – a manner that is productive leading to an improvement in your life.
 
Regardless, here are signs that say NLP is being used on you:
 
1. Copying your mannerisms
 
Pay attention to those around you. When you do certain things, or use certain body language, does someone seem to be copying those things? If you’re with a friend, is your friend doing this to you? Watch them.
 
Are they crossing their legs when you do? Are they pushing strands of hair away from their face right after you make this movement? Some people are better at covering these movements than others, but if you really watch, you will catch them.
 
2. They use the magic touch
 
Neuro-linguistic programming enables a person to have what seems to be a magic touch. For instance, if you’re upset about something and they touch your shoulder, and then, later on, they touch your shoulder again and you get upset about the same topic, they have anchored you.
 
According to Bandler and Grinder, this actually works. If you notice it happening, then you know someone is using the NLP technique on you.
 
3. They use vague language
 
If you’ve ever been hypnotized, then you’ve been under the power of vague language. This type of gibberish doesn’t mean anything. It’s used to get you into a certain state of mind. It’s not really nonsense, as far as understanding the actual words, it’s just sentences that seem to say a lot but actually say nothing.
 
Let me see if I can give you an example of this: “I see you are entering the space of your present being and letting go of what you are in the present but repeating the present in order to enter that space.” Whew, that was hard for me to concoct, but hopefully, it made no sense so I could prove my point. Anyway, NLPers use this sort of language.
 
4. The pressure to make quick decisions
 
You will notice that someone is using neuro linguistic programming when you are being pressured to make a quick decision about something. If you’re like me, you need some time to think things over before making many choices. Not everything in life can be a quick yes or no.
 
In fact, along with pressure for quick decision making, you will be pushed ever so slightly toward the answer they want to hear. Watch out, and tell them that you need more time.
5. They use layered language
 
People who are skilled in neuro-linguistic programming use layered language to get what they want. In case you don’t know what layered language is, here’s an example: “I think we should all be productive, sharp, and brave enough to make quick decisions…you know, not like slackers.”
 
Remember, I just mentioned pressuring people about making quick decisions. Well, that layered language will work in two ways, it will pressure you and it will intend to bring about guilt for needing time to think about things. Watch out for hidden tricks within sentences.
 
6. Giving permission to do what they want
 
One of the most interesting signs of those who have undergone NLP training is permission pressure. If you’re the NLPer, then maybe you want someone to give you money. Just say, “Go ahead and let go of your selfish nature. Here, try it with me”, or “Feel free to use me as next first selfless deed.”
 
While these may not be the best decisions, I think you can get the idea of what I’m saying. You’re supposed to think that your interests come first and they are important, but with negative usage of NLP, it’s the opposite.
 
You will know them by the way they give you permission to do what they want. It sounds twisty and it is. They will say, “Feel free to let yourself go and have a good time”, all the while they are getting to take advantage of you. If they happen to have good intentions, then maybe they’re truly trying to help you relax. Either way, be wary of anything like this.
 
Honestly, NLP can be used for good or bad
 
Yes, it’s true, while there are those who try to take advantage of you with neuro-linguistic programming, there are also those who use it to help you become a better person, slightly nudging you toward something you need to do. In this case, it’s a good thing.
 
If you have a good heart, you may want to learn neuro-linguistic programming to help someone. You can learn to detect when something is wrong with someone, or when you need to intervene in order to sway their decision-making process, which is rare but sometimes needed. You see, it can serve as a good tool for many people.
 
However, I will just leave it at this. You should always be aware of your surroundings, no matter what. If someone is your true friend, you will know it soon enough. If you gain the ability to use NLP, make sure you use it for the good of society and not for the bad. Let’s keep moving forward.



Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:
 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
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Alternative to YouTube
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 18:14
Quarta-feira, 04 / 12 / 19

Could You Be Dating a Psychopath? 9 Signs to Watch out for

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted December 3, 2019.

 
Dating a Psychopath.

 



Yes, all relationships have problems, but some are far worse. Although rare, you could be dating a psychopath.

Dating has its own challenges, but when you start calling each other names, like psychopath or Maniac, it gets rough. Yes, it is possible that you could be dating a psychopathic person, but you really don’t know until you’ve researched the illness. In fact, the psychopath has physical differences which can be seen when looking at the brain. Of course, only a doctor can do this. As for the outer signs…

Are you dating a psychopath?
Let’s be honest, people throw around titles for others just because of a few strange characteristics. We often hear someone say, “He’s a narcissist”, or “She’s so bipolar”. You should never call each other derogatory names, especially if those names are real conditions. Those are serious personality issues and the person doing this could be just as sick as the other. So, how do we know the truth about these things?
Signs of the psychopath:
1. They have charisma…at first

A psychopath will not come over as a rude or uncaring person, well, not at first. In fact, they will be the most amazing person to be around, with their charm and social magnetism.

Everyone who encounters the psychopath on a friendship level will think they are one of the best people around, and they will continue to think this until they cross into certain areas of the psychopath’s life where truths emerge. A psychopath can hold this charismatic personality well for long periods of time, even years.
2. They make rash decisions

You may pick up on the true character of the psychopath when you pay attention to how they make decisions. This type of person is usually impulsive, giving little thought to the things they want to do. You may notice they don’t ask your opinion about much of anything. They just tell you what they’re about to do, or even do it before you even know what’s happened.
3. Manipulation

One of the most common attributes of the psychopath is manipulation. If they want something, they will do almost anything to get it, but most of all, they will use manipulative tactics. They will tell you that giving in to something makes you love them more, or truly love them, and if you don’t, then…you don’t love them at all.

They play upon your feelings this way, making it incredibly hard to deny them, and if you do, they will make sure you feel their passive-aggressive wrath. You see, not all psychopaths are killers, like from the movies. Some of them kill you emotionally by ignoring you or doing things intentionally to hurt you. All of this comes by the weapon of, you guessed it, manipulation.
4. They are always bored

The psychopath needs constant stimulation. If they don’t receive it, they will be looking for something or someone else to stimulate them. Unlike some of us who can be content with doing nothing sometimes, this is impossible for them.

They always have to be playing games, going out, being active, getting attention – you name it. It’s really hard to keep the psychopath interested for long before they’re whining about how bored they are or they are off and running with impulsive behavior again.

5. They disobey authority

That impulsivity that I mentioned above, yes, that can lead to disobeying the law, which is another sign you could be dating a psychopath. They usually disregard the speed limit and they usually play on their phones while driving. They may be drug users or alcoholics even.

But if you pay attention, you will notice, they break the law in some way if they are psychotic. It’s a combination of being bored, ego, and other aspects of their personality disorder.
6. They are pathological liars

Accuse a psychopath of lying and they will deny it, all the time. They hardly ever admit to being deceitful, and they are good at covering up the things they do with even more lies.

At first, you may even think you’re going crazy for accusing them of lies, but eventually, you will see the depth of their deception, and it will astound you. If you’re dating a pathological liar, there is a good chance that this person is also a psychopath.
7. They’re usually cheaters too

Most psychopaths find it extremely hard to be faithful, and when they cheat, they usually don’t care either. In fact, they will be unfaithful to one partner and also be unfaithful to the one they’re cheating with, which goes back to the boredom and impulsive aspect of their character.

There’s nothing wrong with you, never think that it’s just who they are. The sooner you realize the truth, the better. Their unfaithfulness may not only cost your feelings, but their promiscuity can also cost your life if they are having unsafe sex…which they probably will be.
8. Irresponsibility

The psychopath holds no responsibility for anything. They are the type of person who, when confronted, denies everything. No matter what they’ve done, even if it’s just leaving a towel on the floor, they will try and either deny it, blame it on someone else or justify how it was someone else’s fault that they left it there.


I’ve seen this behavior before and it’s both horrifying and strangely funny. If it wasn’t so sad, I would probably laugh and walk away. They can actually wipe their conscious away just so easily.
9. Arrogant

A psychopath is an arrogant person. After they initially sweep you off your feet, you will start to realize this arrogant attribute a little more every day. Eventually, they will be so arrogant that nothing can stand in their way. If you’re not careful, this will erode your self-esteem. You have to try and remain a strong and stable person to withstand their arrogance and survive the psychopath.
Dating a psychopath? You have choices to make…fast

If you are dating such a person, chances are, they will not change. I’m sorry. You see, it’s not just about generational teachings or the environment with this one. The psychopath really does have a different brain than the normal person, as I mentioned above.

Where you or I might have a physical and mental reaction to violence, the psychopath can remain calm. And yes, this fact can be terrifying. It’s the answer to so many of their personality traits like constant boredom, impulsive behavior, and cheating. There usually is no remorse.

I hate to say that there is no hope at all with the psychopath simply because I never like giving up on anyone, but you might seriously consider your future with someone like this. If you feel threatened at all, then leaving is a priority. Also, if you do leave, be careful because the psychopath doesn’t easily let go. Just a fair warning.

So, in a nutshell, and as always, check the signs, get support, and do what’s best for YOU.

I wish you well.
References
:
  1. https://research.unt.edu
  2. https://www.webmd.com
 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 09:17
Quinta-feira, 28 / 11 / 19

9 Signs of a Scam Artist and Manipulation Tools They Use

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

November 27th, 2019.

 
scam artist signs.
 
 

 
 
I’ve always been interested in the darker side of a person’s personality, particularly deviant behaviour. I want to know why someone might stray from the straight and narrow. So I often watch programmes about scam artists and their victims. And I think to myself, how did they fall for their tricks? Do they use specific tools to manipulate a person? Do they have to have particular character traits to pull off a scam? Is there a perfect victim? Well, all of the above is true. But before we examine the signs of a scam artist, let’s look at the type of person they target.
 
The Perfect Time for Scam Artists
 
Unfortunately, anyone can fall victim to a scam artist. We are all incredibly busy these days. We don’t have the time to scrutinise every email or text or phone call. Furthermore, scam artists are targeting us from every conceivable angle.
 
Decades ago, a con-artist would have to be confident and articulate. They would have to have face-to-face communication skills to convince someone to part with their cash. In fact, we get the term con-man from ‘confidence-man’. But things have changed massively.
 
These days, we talk to people who are thousands of miles away without even seeing them. Likewise, there are many different forms of communication. And that’s a major difference for our time.
 
In the past, a con-man would have to face his victim. He (or she) would see, up close and personal, the damage done as a result of their con. Now, scammers are people sat far away, in their tracksuits, targeting anonymous people who they have no emotional connection to at all.
 
As a result, anyone and everyone are under constant attack. If our wits are down our defences are wide open.
 
So who is a perfect victim for a scam artist?
 
Scam artists will look for a certain victim-type, depending on the scam they want to pull off. It is important to remember that a victim of a scam is not stupid. This is because scammers play to our emotions, not our intelligence. So, anyone who is in a vulnerable state is, particularly at risk.
 
For example, a person who has recently lost their job, a partner, a child. Someone who is going through a major life upheaval. But also positive things can make you vulnerable. For instance, a run of extremely good luck can skew your judgment.
 
Successful scams all hinge on desire over rationality. Victims of scams often don’t want to know a lot of details about the scam. They just need to know the outcome. In other words, will they be better off?
 
“Victims don’t look for why the offer is a scam; they look for why the offer will make them money. They want you to make them feel good so they can pull the trigger.” Anonymous scammer
9 Signs of a Scam Artist and Their Manipulation Tools
They use your name
 
Using a person’s first name is a powerful way to emotionally connect with someone. It instantly creates a bond between two people. You feel special, as if you are important to that person, particularly if it is your first meeting.
 
They mirror your body language
 
This is a classic manipulation tool that scammers use. By copying your body language, the scam artist is subconsciously forming an attachment with you. You feel attracted to them but you are not sure why.
 
‘We’re in this together’
 
‘We’re in this together.’ ‘You and I are going to be rich.’ ‘We’re gonna make a lot of money.’ Firstly, why would someone want to share their wealth with you? Particularly if you are a stranger to them?
 
Human beings tend to want to hoard their wealth so be very wary if a complete stranger wants to include you in a money-making scheme. Secondly, you’ll feel more like a team and less like you are alone in any risk-taking activity.
 
But there’s always a time limit
 
You often see unscrupulous salespeople do this in order to close a deal. There’s this fantastic offer on hand, but, you have to sign on the dotted line within an hour or the deal is gone. This tactic plays on the FOMO effect. We don’t want to miss out on a great deal. Listen, no deal is that good it doesn’t stand up to scrutiny and time spent away reflecting on it.
 
You’ll win a little at first
 
To get you to sign up to whatever scam is going, you will win a small amount of money in the short-term. This is done to build your confidence. It is also done to lock you into a situation. Now you are tied into a scheme. You are invested, literally and figuratively. You have a psychological need to continue. Of course, it won’t last.
 
Scam artists are good listeners
 
You might think that the majority of scammers are skilled in communication, but having good listening skills is equally important. The reason they listen a lot is that they need to know what will seal the deal for you and what a deal breaker is.
 
They’ll show their imperfections
 
Studies show that we trust a person that is not perfect. In the beginning, a scam artist will let you in on a little flaw of theirs that shows their imperfections. Of course, it won’t be a massive thing to put you off. I mean, they won’t confide that they are a psychopath who has just killed their mother. It will be just small enough to earn your trust.
 
Scammers start off small
 
Romance con-artists tend to ask for small amounts of money which then get bigger and bigger over time. The reasons can vary from paying off small debts to helping stop bankruptcy. Although the amounts may begin under 100 pounds or dollars, the victim can end up giving away their life-savings of over hundreds of thousands.
A scam artist will count on your embarrassment
 
Why do so many scams go unpunished or unprosecuted? Because the victim feels so embarrassed about being conned. And this is what the scammer is depending on. We often see elderly victims of scams refusing to come forward because they feel so ashamed about being scammed.
 
Final Thoughts
 
With so many scam artists out there, it is important to keep our wits about us. Probably the most important advice is that if a deal seems too good to be true, it is.
 

References:

  1. thebalance.com
  2. www.vox.com
  3. www.rd.com

 
Janey Davies

 





About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

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publicado por achama às 09:33
Domingo, 17 / 11 / 19

The Illusion of Truth and How Liars and Manipulators Are Using It to Trick You

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted November 17, 2019.

 

 

 
 
Maybe what you’re hearing is not factional information. You could be the victim of the illusion of truth.
 
Truth is the truth and a lie is a lie, right? Well, it can get a little blurry at times. Yes, we all have problems with recognizing the truth from lies, but sometimes it’s because we’re dealing with manipulators.
 
To make things worse, liars and manipulators are using the illusion of truth to convince us that what they say, or omit, is fact. Their tactics seem to be working better than ever.
 
What Is the Illusion of Truth?
 
The illusion of truth is not just a statement in a sentence describing how someone deceived you.
 
Psychologist Tom Stafford has shared a secret with us about this illusion. He says the secret of avoiding lies is to avoid repetition. Yes, some of the best liars and manipulators use repetition toinstill a sort of familiarity in the brain. What seems familiar often seems truthful, wouldn’t you think?
 
This way of thinking has been coined the illusion of truth effect. It works by comparing truth with a lie, by only changing a small portion of the lie to resemble a second truth.
 
Let’s look at an example. The truth would be, “A penny is brown”, and a lie would be “a dime is brown”. I guess this one is a little too obvious, but it can easily be twisted if the dime just happens to be tarnished or covered with something. This would actually be a breeze for a liar.
 
Now, back to repetition. If you were told the lie about the coins once, and then again, you might believe it, especially if your perception was off.
 
However, it would be easier to fool someone with repetition by using fruits or vegetables. You can convince someone that peanuts grow on trees if you repeat it enough and show nothing to prove otherwise. I believe it’s how politicians pass off lies for the truth for so long and develop quite a large following.
 
Now, this effect may be interesting, but in the worst of hands, it can prove to be catastrophic to the lives of honest people. When toxic people, such as manipulators, learn the ability to lie in this manner, they can lie in all sorts of ways.
 
Here are ways the illusion of truth is used by manipulators:
 
Rationalization
 
Some people are easily convinced and manipulated by people who use rationalization. When it comes to lying, rationalization is a way to hide the inner lies.
 
For example, if you confront someone about their behavior, they may try to rationalize why it happened. If something missing is found in a man’s coat pocket, he may never admit that he stole the item. 
 
Instead, he may say something like this,
 
“Oh, I don’t know how that got in there. I did let a friend of mine use my coat when they came over.”
 
The truth is, the man stole the item, maybe a broach or even money. He passes the blame to an unknown friend and then rationalizes how the item got into his pocket.
 
This same person probably uses the same strategy whenever he is caught red-handed. No matter what he’s done wrong, he rationalizes and shows that there was a perfectly honest reason for what happened.
 
Minimalization
 
This tactic which shows how the illusion of truth can be used focuses mostly on making real lies seem like nothing.
 
Many people lie about where they are or what they’re doing. When their loved ones or partners find out the truth, they try to minimalize the situation likes it’s no big deal. One thing that might be said when someone is confronted about lying about being at a concert is,
 
“It’s not such a big deal. I just didn’t want you to worry about me being in that large crowd.”
 
Whether this is the real reason or not, it’s still a lie, and usually, when someone does this once, they have always done it and will always keep doing it as long as the situation isn’t improved. A lie is a lie, no matter how small. This, we must remember.
 
Omittance
 
Have you ever heard someone you love tell a story, and then later hear a whole lot more that they left out. The part they left out, yes, that part was the part that they knew would make you upset. To keep you happy with them, they omitted a part of their story. Do you know what this is? It’s lying.
 
Yes, I’m sorry to inform you, but omittance is lying, just like telling a stark lie. If you have information that you purposefully hold back, you are doing nothing less than hiding the truth from the ones you love.
 
It’s a prime example of the illusion we’re given in place of the truth. It’s as if the important information had become invisible.
 
Persuasion
 
There are ways of persuasion that can make lies seem like truth. Persuasion creates an illusion by reasoning and speaking of one’s own good reputations. When lies seem attractive, they also start to look like truth, depending on how much persuasion is being used and in what manner.
 
For instance, if someone does and speaks many good things, then it’s easier to believe that they would be honest. Unfortunately, sometimes these are the ones who lie the most. The good deeds and persuasive talk are ways of covering their heinous acts.
Don’t be fooled
 
I will be honest with you, I think I’m dealing with most of these tactics in my life right now. I will keep quiet about which people are doing this. Anyway, the illusion of what seems to be true looks so much like the real thing that you can go years before learning the truth behind the falsities.
 
The best way to recognize when the illusion of the truth is being used against you is to become educated and watch for the signs. There are many red flagsthat will help you become alert and ready for the lies. When they happen, then it’s up to you about whether or not you will tolerate the disrespect.
 
Are you being tricked?
 
References:
Sherrie Hurd
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 
 
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
Free counters!

  geoglobe1
 
 
publicado por achama às 21:14
Domingo, 10 / 11 / 19

Milgram Obedience Study and What It Reveals about Human Nature

Lottie Miles.

learning-mind.com

Posted November 10th, 2019.

 
milgram obedience study.

 



Yale University psychologist Stanley Milgram conducted his famous series of experiments widely known as Obedience Study almost 60 years ago. The ethics of the experiment have since been subject to criticism. However, it raised important questions about the power of authority in achieving obedience.
 
In this article, we take a look at the Milgram Experiment and what it reveals about human nature. We will also look at the counter-arguments which criticize Milgram’s ethics and dispute his results.
 
What Is the Milgram Obedience Study?
 
The Obedience Study refers to a set of psychology experiments conducted by Milgram. It intended to investigate the relationship between obedience to authority and personal conscience.
 
Milgram’s interest in conducting this study was sparked by the trial of Adolph Eichmann, a Nazi war criminal who was one of the main organizers of the Holocaust. Milgram wanted to find out how humans are capable of committing atrocities that go so far beyond their personal conscience.
 
Participants for Milgram’s experiments were recruited by a newspaper advert and were all male. All participants were given the role of “teacher” and were put in control of an electroshock generator.
 
They were instructed by the “experimenter” to ask the “learner” questions. If they answered them incorrectly, they should deliver a shock to them. Moreover, they would increase this shock by 15 volts with each wrong answer (with the increase leading to shocks that could be fatal).
 
The electric shocks were, in fact, fake and the “learner” in each experiment was part of the research team. So they would act out sounds of pain and plead for the experiment to stop.
 
When participants asked the experimenter whether they should stop the shocks (which the majority did) they were told these commands:
  1. Please continue.
  2. The experiment requires that you continue.
  3. It is absolutely essential that you continue.
  4. You have no other choice, you must go on.
 
What did the Milgram Obedience Study reveal about human nature?
 
The results of the Milgram Obedience Study were that two-thirds of participants (62.5%) delivered the maximum electric shock (450 volts, a shock that could have killed), and a third of participants stopped at 300 volts.
 
The observations showed that participants displayed significant signs of stress during the experiment. All participants stopped to question the experiment and some even offered to return the money they were to be paid so that the experiment would stop.
 
Milgram summed up that the results of the experiment showed that obedience is instilled in us all from an early age due to the way we are raised. Suggesting that, the instruction received by an authority figure, which the individual has deemed to be legally or morally authorized to give such instruction, would lead to obedience.
 
In the case of the Milgram Obedience Study, the authority figure was the experimental scientist and the results of the experiment, Milgram suggested, revealed that stark authority won over a participant’s strong imperative against hurting others. For many, the study revealed an illuminating aspect of human nature.
 
What is wrong with Milgram’s research?
 
Milgram’s research is widely cited and referenced within the field of psychology. Still, both the ethics and the methodology of the study have received ample criticism. Ethically, critics of the study believe that the intense stress levels that Milgram’s participants went through were unacceptable.
 
In addition to this, audio recordings of Milgram’s experiments (which were discovered by psychologist Gina Perry) demonstrate that, in some experiments, the ‘experimenter’ broke away from the set script and used bullying and coercion to force the participants to continue delivering the electric shocks. Perry also found that the majority of participants were not thoroughly debriefed after the traumatic experiment.
 
Methodologically, Milgram’s research has also received much criticism. The 62.5% statistic was used to prove Milgram’s theory of the power of authority on obedience. However, this study was based on the results of just 40 participants. This is too low a number to draw any concrete conclusions.
 
Further experiments conducted by Milgram often had conflicting methodologies with different scenarios and a variance in the severity of the experimenter. The lack of standardization makes the experiments difficult to compare. However, when looking at the 23 experiments as a whole, the average rate of obedience falls to 43%. This is significantly lower than the widely cited statistic of 62.5%.
 
What do current obedience studies say?
 
Despite the criticisms of the Milgram Obedience Study, this pioneering study did pave the way for further research into the causes of destructive obedience and the impact of this on world events and individual lives.
 
 
Research from the University of St. Andrews in Scotland suggests that human obedience to destructive activities is not solely in response to authority, an individual must also have strong ideological links with that authority figure and agree with the orders being given to them.
 
This theory does not completely dispute the work of Milgram, however. It deters from the ‘banality of evil’ idea that ordinary people are capable of committing terrible atrocities purely through following the orders of an authority figure.
 
The Milgram Obedience Study raised important questions about what leads individuals to obey orders. It also paved the way for further investigations into the power of authority on human behavior.
 
 
References:
  1. https://theconversation.com
  2. https://psycnet.apa.org
  3. Image credit: Yale University
 
Lottie Miles
 





 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 23:06
Terça-feira, 05 / 11 / 19

How to Deal with Toxic People the Way Intelligent People Do

Lottie Miles.

learning-mind.com

Posted November 4th, 2019.

 
HOW TO DEAL WITH TOXIC PEOPLE.

 

 
Life comes with its ups and downs and navigating our way through these is not always easy. One of the key factors which can affect our well-being and sense of self-worth is having a toxic person in our lives. But what exactly is a toxic person? More to the point, what should you do if you have one in your life? In this post, we explore how to deal with toxic people in a smart way.
 
Who Are Toxic People?
 
Anyone can be moody or alter their behavior due to circumstances going on in their life. However, a toxic person is one of the following:
 
 
Unfortunately, it is likely that you will have come across such a person either in your personal or professional life (or both).
 
Knowing how to deal with toxic people can go a long way in managing these relationships in your life. In this post, we take a look at some techniques used by emotionally intelligent people when faced with toxic people. You can draw on these techniques the next time you encounter a toxic person.
 
How Smart People Deal with Toxic People
 
Do not justify their behavior
 
The behavior of a toxic person towards yourself is unjustifiable. However, it can be easy to make excuses for someone. Especially if perhaps they are going through some hardship in their life.
 
We can all relate to a certain level of moodiness or snappiness. Still, if someone is being actively nasty to you this is unacceptable. Excusing a toxic person’s behavior only causes you to doubt yourself. Moreover, it is likely to have a detrimental effect on your well-being.
 
Distance yourself from that person
 
A person who takes pleasure from making you feel bad is not a person that deserves your time and attention. Ask yourself, does this ring true for any of your personal relationships? If so, then it might be time to distance yourself from this toxic person. Understandably, this is easier said than done.
 
At the same time, think about the effect this person is having on your well-being. To say nothing of how you would feel if you no longer had to deal with their behavior towards you.
 
Ultimately, there are different ways to deal with a toxic person. For certain people, the right decision may be to cut them out altogether. This is if circumstances allow it and the time is right for you.
 
Establish boundaries
 
For others, cutting a toxic person out of their life is not a realistic solution. In this instance, establishing some boundaries might be the way forward. Make the toxic person aware of the impact of their actions and behavior. While this is no easy task, it may help them to realize that you are no pushover.
 
 
Establishing boundaries is also about putting yourself in control. You decide when and where you will encounter the person. You can ensure there is a time limit on these occasions. This will help you to prepare mentally for this meeting and put you in the driving seat.
 
Plan your reaction
 
This brings us to the next method of dealing with toxic people. Once you have established boundaries, you will be able to prepare how you will react for whatever the person in question has to throw at you.
 
If you know that they are partial to criticize you for a particular aspect of your life, or they have a particular method of upsetting you then prepare how you will respond to this in advance.
 
Whether it be practising relaxation techniques or preparing your response word for word, it will put you in better control of the situation.
 
Get support
 
Perhaps the most important piece of advice when it comes to dealing with some really toxic people is to get support from those who are positive forces in your life. Whether it be at work or in your personal life.
 
Identifying those individuals that bring you strength will help to build your barriers up against the person who is challenging you with their toxicity.
 
Not only this, it is helpful to draw on support around you to get a different perspective on the issue. Here you can gain useful advice and insights to help you deal with those toxic people in your life.
 
Value yourself
 
Finally, another important way to deal with toxic people is to recognize your own value. Through acknowledging your own self-worth and owning it you can build your resistance to whatever toxicity is thrown at you.
 
Taking their comments and insults with a grain of salt will reduce the impact that a toxic person has on you. Allowing you to elevate your inner worth above anything that they have to say.
 
Final Thoughts
 
Learning how to deal with toxic people is, unfortunately, a skill that we can all benefit from. Recognizing those that bring toxicity to our lives and putting measures in place to reduce the negative impact that has on us is essential for our well-being.
 
Make sure you are aware of the toxic people around you. More importantly, seek professional support immediately for any behavior that goes beyond toxicity to abuse.
 
References:
 
 
Lottie Miles
 





 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 00:28
Segunda-feira, 04 / 11 / 19

Freedom of Thought is Under Attack — Here’s How to Save Your Mind

By Simon McCarthy-Jones,

The Conversation.

Thanks to The Mind Unleashed.

Posted November 4th, 2019
 
.

 

 
TO LOSE FREEDOM OF THOUGHT WOULD BE TO LOSE SOMETHING UNIQUELY HUMAN.
 
 
(CONVERSATION Opinion) — Freedom of thought stands at a critical crossroads. Technological and psychological advances could be used to promote free thought. They could shield our inner worlds, reduce our mental biases, and create new spaces for thought. Yet states and corporations are forging these advances into weapons that restrict what we think.
 
To lose freedom of thought would be to lose something uniquely human. We share our basic emotions with animals. But only we can step back and ask “do I want to be angry?”, “do I want to be that person?”, “couldn’t I be better?”.
 
We can reflect whether the thoughts, feelings and desires that bubble up within us are consistent with our own goals, values and ideals. If we agree they are, then this makes them more truly our own. We can then act authentically.
 
But we may also conclude that some thoughts that pop into our heads are a force other than our own. You sit down to do your work and “Check Facebook!” flashes through your mind. Did that thought come from you or from Mark Zuckerberg?
 
Freedom of thought demands dignity, enables democracy, and is part of what makes us a person. To safeguard it, we must first recognise its enemies.
 
Three Threats to Freedom of Thought
 
The first threat comes from advances in psychology. Research has created new understandings of what influences our thoughts, behaviours, and decision making.
 
States and corporations use this knowledge to make us think and act in a way that serves their goals. These may differ to ours. They use this knowledge to make us gamble more, buy more, and spend more time on social media. It may even be used to swing elections.
 
The second threat comes from the application of machine learning algorithms to “big data”. When we provide data to companies we allow them to see deep inside us. This makes us more vulnerable to manipulation, and when we realise our privacy is being compromised, this chills our ability to think freely.
 
The third threat comes from a growing ability to decode our thoughts from our brain activity. Facebook, Microsoft, and Neuralink are developing brain-computer interfaces. This could create machines that will read our thoughts. But creating unprecedented access to our thoughts creates unprecedented threats to our freedom.
 
These advances in technology and psychology are opening the doors for states and corporations to violate, manipulate, and punish our thoughts. So, what can we do about it?
 
 
The Law Can Save Us
 
International human rights law gives the right to freedom of thought. Yet, this right has been almost completely neglected. It is hardly ever invoked in the courtroom. We need to work out what we want this right to mean so we can use it to protect ourselves.
 
We should use it to defend mental privacy. Otherwise conformity pressures will impede our free play of ideas and search for truth. We should use it to prevent our thoughts being manipulated, either through psychological tricks or through threatened punishment.
 
And we should use it to protect thought in all of its forms. Thought isn’t just what happens in our heads. Sometimes we think by writing or by doing a Google search. If we recognise these activities as “thought” then they should qualify for absolute privacy under the right to freedom of thought.
 
Finally, we should use this right to demand that governments create societies that allow us to think freely. This is where psychology can help.
 
 
Preventing Manipulation
 
Better understanding our minds can help protect us from manipulation by others. For example, the psychologist Daniel Kahneman distinguishes between what we could call “rule-of-thumb” and “rule-of-reason” thinking.
 
Rule-of-thumb thinking involves effortless and ancient mental processes that allow us to make quick decisions. The price of this speed can be mistakes. In contrast, rule-of-reason thinking is a slow, consciously controlled process, often based in language. It takes longer, but can be more accurate.
 
This suggests that creating speed bumps in our thinking could help improve decision making. Clicking unthinkingly on content or adverts from corporations doesn’t allow us to exercise freedom of thought. We do not have time to work out if our desires are our own or those of a puppet master.
 
We must also change our environment into one that supports autonomy. Such an environment would allow us to create our own reasons for our actions, minimise external controls like rewards and punishments, and encourage choice, participation and shared decision making.
 
Technology can help create such an environment. But whose responsibility is it to implement this?
 
 
Taking Action
 
Governments must help citizens learn from a young age about how the mind works. They must structure society to facilitate free thought. And they have a duty to stop those, including corporations, who would violate the right to freedom of thought.
 
Corporations must play their part. They should state freedom of thought as a policy commitment. They should perform due diligence on how their activities may harm freedom of thought. They could be required to declare the psychological tricks they are using to try and shape our behaviour.
 
And we the people must educate ourselves. We must promote and support free-thought values. We must condemn those turning one of our species’ greatest strengths, our sociality, into one of our greatest weaknesses by using it as a means of data extraction. We must vote with our feet and wallets against those who violate our freedom of thought.
 
All this assumes that we want freedom of thought. But do we? Many of us would literally rather electrocute ourselves than sit quietly with our thoughts.
 
Would many of us also prefer governments and corporations do our thinking for us, serving up predictions and nudges for us to simply follow? Would many of us be happy for freedom of thought to be limited if it led to increased security? How much do we want freedom of thought and what are we prepared to sacrifice for it?
 
Simply put, do we still want to be human? Or has the pain, effort and responsibility of one of our signature abilities, free thought, become too much for us to bear? If it has, it is neither clear what will become of us nor clear what we will become.
 
 

.

 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

Archives:



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 20:31
Domingo, 03 / 11 / 19

Controlled Manipulation

by Teri Wade.

facebook.com/teri.wade.1610.

November 2, 2019.


 


 
The 3D facade...
 
Currently there is a planetary transformation going on within the main players who have controlled and dominated our world for eons. There is a major shakeup in the hierarchy of the main controller groups which is revealing the darkest underbelly of deception and disturbing abuses of power, bribery, corruption that’s leading us to the disturbing truth of satanic ritual practices.
 
For those who are unprepared for the layers of disclosure and the revelation of truth within the hierarchy in politics, finance, government, entertainment etc. these will be painful and desperate times for many.
 
Many are starting to see through the 3D facade and the gross abuse of power and deceptions. This facade has been veiled by the main stream media in an attempt to brainwash Humanity into thinking a certain way.
 
Many are breaking away from the main stream media and their many veins of narratives. People are seeking truth and alternatives to this deception. We are finding out the ugly and incredibly painful truths that the mainstream media has been hiding from the human population.
 
We are in the phase of dismantling the control system and observing the shakedown of what has been hiding behind the 3D facade. As the internal fighting for control continues it will reveal everyday the true nature of this reality.
 
This is the time to be brave, courageous and self-aware. We are all in this together and it’s a natural biological process for all human beings to have the ability to evolve our consciousness to evolve past the need for constant survival.
 
Everybody should be asking themselves how did the human race get to the state of consciousness were in? How did we create these conditions on Earth? How are world leaders chosen and how do they remain in power? How did Earthlings become defined to the intergalactic community as warmongers, crucifiers, killers of life and nature without remorse? When we asked these sort of questions we will be faced with that proverbial rabbit hole that so many choose to ignore.
 
We need to detach and release ourselves from the confines of service to self, dark ignorance, attachment to material things, suffering, and the state of soul disconnection. The same states that reinforce the continued cycles of death and reincarnation into the lower realms without conscious memory, wiping our identities and detaching us from spiritual connection. Keeping us slaves to the matter world.
 
We are in the process of shifting human consciousness from the low vibrational matter worlds to the higher vibrational spiritual worlds. What would our lives be like if we could tap into that repository of information of our past lives and past worlds we’ve experienced? This is the groundwork we are laying for the future direction of the human race as we evolve into this ascending timeline.
 
Higher consciousness is higher intelligence, higher awareness and refined thought. When we gain access to our soul and our spiritual forces this brings incredible insight and abilities that humanity couldn’t even fathom in the lower dimensional worlds. Right now many of you are experiencing duel states of consciousness. This has to do with your physical body’s calibration process to these incoming higher frequencies. These simultaneous states of consciousness is a testament to the multi-dimensional beings we truly are.
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 05:02
Quarta-feira, 12 / 06 / 19

5 Signs the Illusion of Control Is Ruining Your Life and How to Stop It ~ Sherrie.

5 Signs the Illusion of Control Is Ruining Your Life and How to Stop It.

By Sherrie.

June 11th, 2019

 

If you think you’re in control of life, think again. The illusion of control, although sometimes positive, can have negative consequences.
Sometimes, to be honest, I believe that people who do wrong toward others are punished. Hey, maybe they are. As for me, if I fall into the illusion of control in this aspect, I spend much of my time thinking that I will be avenged at every insult or attack. That’s a waste of time.
The illusion of being in control can definitely be positive, as it gives us the confidence to handle a situation. It can also be negative because we cannot possibly handle every situation. The truth is, some things are out of our control completely. Our acceptance of this fact is important.

How the illusion of control ruins our lives

If you go even deeper than that, you find those who live every day thinking they’re in control of the entirety of their existence, which isn’t true.
There are signs that the illusion and trickery of control have taken over, pushing them toward a chaotic and stressful existence. Here are a few examples.

1. Paranoia

Paranoia is a sign that you are under the illusion that you control things. You might think you’re in control, but maybe you are just watching your life unfold naturally, good or bad. If your spells and incantations don’t work, then the illusion of control will tell you that someone has transpired to bring you bad luck.
Or they could be following you, trying to do harm, or even ruin your future. If you depend on charms or other luck bringing aspects to stay in control, you could be fooling yourself.
Your paranoia could get ridiculous if not checked. If someone you love is always paranoid, you could be dealing with someone who feels like they are losing this control they once had.

2. Dwelling in the past

Someone who dwells too long on past events may be living under the illusion that they could have controlled certain situations.
When you live your life, you make mistakes. Over time, these mistakes become part of the past. Some of them affect us and our loved ones deeply. The illusion of control makes us think that if only we could go back in time and change things, that life would be different.
And maybe life would be different, but dwelling on this fact creates a fantasy world that is unhealthy to live in. If you’re constantly reliving the past and rehearsing different ways you could have approached situations, you really are ruining your life right now.
You may even look back at “now” and wish you could have changed that too.

3. Abuse

You see this is relationships when one person tries to control the actions of another. But when it all boils down to it, you cannot really control anyone. Eventually, they will do what they want anyway.
If you notice one person in the relationship trying to control the other, this is abuse. They are also under the illusion that they are in control. They’re not really in control and they never will be.

4. Cosmetic surgery obsession

You know the ones, the women and men who keep getting facelifts, tummy tucks, and breast augmentation. Yes, those individuals can be obsessed. These people think they are in total control of how they appear and how long they will remain beautiful.
The truth is, cosmetic surgery does work, to some extent, but it cannot keep us alive forever.
We have yet to discover the fountain of youth and until we do, we will age, and we will die. That’s the simple and concise truth of the matter. Plastic surgery can ruin our lives by keeping us locked into getting more and more changes and leaving us always unsatisfied.

5. Reckless behavior

You will recognize those who suffer from the illusion of total control by their reckless behavior. These individuals actually think that they are invincible.
I thought like this when I was around 18 years old. They walk down dark alleyways, drive super fast on the freeway, and even indulge in drugs and alcohol.
They really think they are in control at all times, and they will even get furious if you try to stop them. You know these people well. You can tell by their restlessness and boredom.

How can we stop thinking this way?

It’s not easy to break out of a mindset that’s been imprinted upon us from an early age. But, if you can manage to see things from a different perspective, you can learn to actually gain self-control over your illusion of control, if you get my drift.
Utilizing self-control helps you see logic instead of fantasy. It helps you realize that you are no more powerful, invincible, immortal or lucky than the rest of us.
Once you’ve realized this fact, you can focus on really enjoying a good life. Life is full of so many wonderful things, some far out of our control. So, for what we cannot control, I hope we can reach a place of acceptance. I think there we can find the peace we so deserve.
References:
  1. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu
  2. https://www.sciencedaily.com
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 02:48
A Luz está a revelar a Verdade, e esta libertar-nos-á! -Só é real o AMOR Incondicional. -Quando o Amor superar o amor pelo poder, o mundo conhecerá a Paz; Jimi Hendrix. -Somos almas a ter uma experiência humana!

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