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Domingo, 22 / 12 / 19

How to Stop Lying about Everything When You Just Can’t Help Yourself

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted December 21st, 2019.

 
How to Stop Lying about Everything




Honesty is the best policy, and we know that. So, how do we stop lying about any and everything?

There are many types of lies: straight out lies, omissions, “little white lies”, you know, those kinds of lies. But let’s face it, a lie is a lie, now isn’t it, really? Well, yes, but there are two types of liars that are so similar that scientists think they are the same thing. Mental health professionals think differently. These are pathological liars and compulsive liars. Guess what, I agree with the mental health professionals and here’s why…

Pathological vs. Compulsive Lying
Although they are definitely close, these two types of liars are different. Pathological liars seem to lie with a definite motive. Everything they lie about is designed to benefit them in some way, even when the benefit comes after the lies cause the liar problems, which is strange.

Pathological liars also mix truth with lies so the lies are more subtle and believable. So, obviously, pathological liars go to great lengths to not only get what they want but also not get caught.

Compulsive liars, who we are going to focus on today, lie about everything, anything, and at any time and anywhere. There is no clear motive to the lies either. A compulsive liar will lie when there’s no need at all to tell a lie. It’s not like they lie about important situations or things they fear will damage their reputation.

They evenly lie about both important and unimportant things in the same manner with no regard whatsoever about how others see them. It is an uncontrollable urge to lie. It’s almost as easy as breathing. I know someone who does this, by the way. It’s kind of creepy.

If this is you, let’s learn how to stop lying
It may be really difficult to stop compulsive lying considering there’s no motive. However, there are a few things we can try. After all, honesty is important, no matter what the situation. If you cannot be honest, then you cannot be trusted…ever. Let’s start with these few ideas.

1. Are you conscious of your lying?
First of all, you must know whether you actually realize you’re lying in the first place. Do you think you’re telling the truth when you lie? Are people always accusing you of lying and you don’t know why? This can be frightening, to both them and to you. It’s even frightening to me as I think about it.

In order to stop compulsive lying, you have to get to the point where you actually know what you’re doing. Some people do and some, unfortunately, have lied for so long that they think everything they say is the truth, and in turn, think everyone else is the enemy by their accusations. So ask yourself and your friends and family if you are, indeed, a compulsive liar. If they say yes, then listen to them and have an open mind.

2. Stop justifying the lies
Validation of lies only makes lies easier to tell. There is rarely a good reason to tell lies. I’m not saying I’ve never lied, I’m just saying it shouldn’t be an easy thing to do, and you shouldn’t defend your lies either. The larger issue is that most lies were taught by parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and others in the family.

They may have told you to tell lies to save someone’s feelings. If so, you were raised to be a liar….sorry, but it’s the hard cold truth. I was raised this way too. Only in this last decade of my life have I become determined to learn how to be honest even when it was hard. So, put less energy into the justification of lies and more energy into learning how to stop lying the best way you know.

3. Which liar are you? Compulsive or pathological
Also, don’t forget to determine whether you genuinely are a compulsive liar and not a pathological one. While pathological lying is bad, compulsive lying is much harder to break and will probably need the help of a professional. So, before trying to complete all the steps to stop lying, understand 100% which type of liar you are.

4. Figure out why you’re lying
Okay, If you are a compulsive liar, then you’re lying for no apparent reason. So this will be your reason, you’re a compulsive liar. If you are another type of liar, then there is a reason behind the lies you tell. You need to discover the reason if you have one, or else you cannot stop the lying. You will always turn back to being fake instead of being real.

5. Seek help
A compulsive liar, if this is what you are, will need to seek professional help. At some point early in your life, you started this pattern of untruth. It could have been as far back as when you were a small child. If you watched others lie, then you learned that it was a normal thing to do. Of course, this is not true.

Many families actually don’t see telling the truth as normalcy. They live in a backward sort of mentality. If you grew up in a family like this, then it’s perfectly normal to lie – it’s what everyone did. In this case, professional help will be the only thing that turns your life around.

6. Separate yourself from other liars
You can also stop keeping company with other compulsive liars. It may be hard if this includes your family, but you must think about your own well-being. Maybe if you are away from other liars for long enough, you will start to value the truth a bit more.

Hey, we can work together to stop lying
I know I sound mean, and maybe a bit hard on you. But, if it helps you turn your life around, then it’s worth you getting angry with me. If this pertains to someone you know, then I’m glad you have some options to help them. I believe that lying can become addicting just like any drug or alcohol. If you do it for so long, it becomes second nature…which is what I think the basic definition of compulsive lying must be.


If you want to learn how to stop lying, then get started with these tips today.
References
:
  1. https://www.goodtherapy.org
  2. https://www.healthline.com

 
Sherrie Hurd

 

 

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Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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publicado por achama às 18:41
Domingo, 17 / 11 / 19

The Illusion of Truth and How Liars and Manipulators Are Using It to Trick You

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted November 17, 2019.

 

 

 
 
Maybe what you’re hearing is not factional information. You could be the victim of the illusion of truth.
 
Truth is the truth and a lie is a lie, right? Well, it can get a little blurry at times. Yes, we all have problems with recognizing the truth from lies, but sometimes it’s because we’re dealing with manipulators.
 
To make things worse, liars and manipulators are using the illusion of truth to convince us that what they say, or omit, is fact. Their tactics seem to be working better than ever.
 
What Is the Illusion of Truth?
 
The illusion of truth is not just a statement in a sentence describing how someone deceived you.
 
Psychologist Tom Stafford has shared a secret with us about this illusion. He says the secret of avoiding lies is to avoid repetition. Yes, some of the best liars and manipulators use repetition toinstill a sort of familiarity in the brain. What seems familiar often seems truthful, wouldn’t you think?
 
This way of thinking has been coined the illusion of truth effect. It works by comparing truth with a lie, by only changing a small portion of the lie to resemble a second truth.
 
Let’s look at an example. The truth would be, “A penny is brown”, and a lie would be “a dime is brown”. I guess this one is a little too obvious, but it can easily be twisted if the dime just happens to be tarnished or covered with something. This would actually be a breeze for a liar.
 
Now, back to repetition. If you were told the lie about the coins once, and then again, you might believe it, especially if your perception was off.
 
However, it would be easier to fool someone with repetition by using fruits or vegetables. You can convince someone that peanuts grow on trees if you repeat it enough and show nothing to prove otherwise. I believe it’s how politicians pass off lies for the truth for so long and develop quite a large following.
 
Now, this effect may be interesting, but in the worst of hands, it can prove to be catastrophic to the lives of honest people. When toxic people, such as manipulators, learn the ability to lie in this manner, they can lie in all sorts of ways.
 
Here are ways the illusion of truth is used by manipulators:
 
Rationalization
 
Some people are easily convinced and manipulated by people who use rationalization. When it comes to lying, rationalization is a way to hide the inner lies.
 
For example, if you confront someone about their behavior, they may try to rationalize why it happened. If something missing is found in a man’s coat pocket, he may never admit that he stole the item. 
 
Instead, he may say something like this,
 
“Oh, I don’t know how that got in there. I did let a friend of mine use my coat when they came over.”
 
The truth is, the man stole the item, maybe a broach or even money. He passes the blame to an unknown friend and then rationalizes how the item got into his pocket.
 
This same person probably uses the same strategy whenever he is caught red-handed. No matter what he’s done wrong, he rationalizes and shows that there was a perfectly honest reason for what happened.
 
Minimalization
 
This tactic which shows how the illusion of truth can be used focuses mostly on making real lies seem like nothing.
 
Many people lie about where they are or what they’re doing. When their loved ones or partners find out the truth, they try to minimalize the situation likes it’s no big deal. One thing that might be said when someone is confronted about lying about being at a concert is,
 
“It’s not such a big deal. I just didn’t want you to worry about me being in that large crowd.”
 
Whether this is the real reason or not, it’s still a lie, and usually, when someone does this once, they have always done it and will always keep doing it as long as the situation isn’t improved. A lie is a lie, no matter how small. This, we must remember.
 
Omittance
 
Have you ever heard someone you love tell a story, and then later hear a whole lot more that they left out. The part they left out, yes, that part was the part that they knew would make you upset. To keep you happy with them, they omitted a part of their story. Do you know what this is? It’s lying.
 
Yes, I’m sorry to inform you, but omittance is lying, just like telling a stark lie. If you have information that you purposefully hold back, you are doing nothing less than hiding the truth from the ones you love.
 
It’s a prime example of the illusion we’re given in place of the truth. It’s as if the important information had become invisible.
 
Persuasion
 
There are ways of persuasion that can make lies seem like truth. Persuasion creates an illusion by reasoning and speaking of one’s own good reputations. When lies seem attractive, they also start to look like truth, depending on how much persuasion is being used and in what manner.
 
For instance, if someone does and speaks many good things, then it’s easier to believe that they would be honest. Unfortunately, sometimes these are the ones who lie the most. The good deeds and persuasive talk are ways of covering their heinous acts.
Don’t be fooled
 
I will be honest with you, I think I’m dealing with most of these tactics in my life right now. I will keep quiet about which people are doing this. Anyway, the illusion of what seems to be true looks so much like the real thing that you can go years before learning the truth behind the falsities.
 
The best way to recognize when the illusion of the truth is being used against you is to become educated and watch for the signs. There are many red flagsthat will help you become alert and ready for the lies. When they happen, then it’s up to you about whether or not you will tolerate the disrespect.
 
Are you being tricked?
 
References:
Sherrie Hurd
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 
 
 
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 21:14
Domingo, 03 / 11 / 19

The Difference between Objective and Subjective Truth and the Illusion We All Believe

Francesca Forsythe.

https://www.learning-mind.com

October 30th, 2019.

 



 
How do we know whether our truths are the real truths, or is the truth simply an illusion?
 
What Is the Difference Between Objective and Subjective Truth?
 
Truth is a continuous concept in all places, all situations and at all times. However, what one person believes to be the truth may not be agreed on by someone else. On the other hand, there are other truths, which everyone believes to be true.
 
For example, I doubt you would disagree with me that the year has 365 days, or that the internet exists. How else would you be reading this article? This gives us two different species of truth: objective and subjective truth.
 
However, there is a famous saying that in any situation, there are three truths: your truth, my truth, and the real truth. This saying exemplifies what we are talking about when we ask the question of what the difference between objective and subjective truth is.
 
So, let us explore these different kinds of truth and the illusions they can lead us to believe.
 
What Is the Objective Truth?
 
Objective truth is something that is true for all people, no matter what their culture or religious beliefs. These truths are fundamental truths. I don’t need to tell you the exact temperature of fire to tell you that fire is hot. In the same way, I don’t need to tell you that you need food to survive.
 
Objective truths are, therefore, recognized by all people, whether or not they realize they are recognizing it.
What Is the Subjective Truth?
 
Subjective truth is similarly based on a person’s beliefs but not all people may agree with it. This kind of truth is present in things like religion. One person may believe that the existence of God is the truth, where another person may not.
 
People also form their own judgments of the truth of a situation based on the information they have. However, this judgment may change should this person receive some new information.
 
For example, I may believe that my friend has not invited me to their party and be mad at them. Yet, when I find out that they simply forgot to send the invitation, I am no longer mad at them as it was a simple mistake.
 
Subjective truth is, therefore, my truth.
 
How Do Objective and Subjective Truths Interact?
 
  • Situations such as this exemplify the saying that there are three versions of the truth. When having a conversation with a friend, they may take something I say the wrong way.
  • My version of the truth containing the meaning of what I said (subjective truth).
  • My friend’s version of the truth that I meant it differently (subjective truth).
  • The third version of the truth is inclusive of what I said, how it was meant, but also the way in which I said it which led to my friend’s misinterpretation. This third version of the truth is the objective truth.
 
The more information I have about a situation or the facts relevant to it bring me closer to the objective truth. Until I know everything there is to know about a situation, I cannot say I know the objective truth about it.
 
Therefore, the only objective truths we really have are those fundamental truths on which everyone can agree at all times, which do not require further inquiry.
 
The Illusion of Truth
 
The truth is important to us because we never want to be wrong about something. However, the downside of this is that we are constantly looking for truth. This can lead us to a truth fallacy, where we believe something to be true which really isn’t.
 
Repetition Is Truth
 
Our brains are susceptible to believing something to be true if we hear it several times. Many people believe that the Great Wall of China is visible from space because they’ve heard it so many times. However, this is not true.
 
Other examples of this are that bulls hate the color red, or that we only have five senses. Neither of these is true, but we have heard them so many times that we believe them to be.
 
 
Scientists have regularly found that subjects are much more likely to believe something to be true if they hear it repeatedly. This repetition gives us cognitive ease which plays an important role in daily life. It allows us to feel more secure in what we know and in our interactions with the world.
 
It is important to understand how the illusion of truth works. By understanding this phenomenon, it allows us to be more critical of the ‘facts’ we hear constantly. With this critical thinking comes the power to seek out actual truths and get closer to the objective truths of the world.
 
The world is a complex, sometimes confusing place to live. The constant changing manner of science and nature makes it almost impossible to know the objective truth of our circumstances. Subjective truth allows us to maintain a level of security, but it is not infallible.
 
Final Thoughts
 
The only truth which can be really trusted is objective truths, but these take a lot of work to find. We are constantly learning, and the pursuit of knowledge is vital to understand the line between what we believe to be true and what is fundamentally true.
 
References:
 
 
 



 

About the Author: Francesca Forsythe

Francesca is a freelance writer currently studying a degree in Law and Philosophy. She has written for several blogs in a range of subjects across Lifestyle, Relationships and Health and Fitness. Her main pursuits are learning new innovative ways of keeping fit and healthy, as well as broadening her knowledge in as many areas as possible in order to achieve success.
 
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 


All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 
 

 
 
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publicado por achama às 01:47
Quinta-feira, 14 / 02 / 19

Signs and Causes of Compulsive Lying and How to Stop This Habit ~ Mariya M.

Signs and Causes of Compulsive Lying and How to Stop This Habit.

By Mariya M.

February 13th, 2019. 

 

 

 

At times, we can all tell a small white lie, but compulsive lying is a completely different animal.

People who have the habit of compulsive lying tell lies about the most random things. If you ask them what they did over the weekend, they might say, “I went fishing with some friends“. In fact, they sat at home and watched television. These people just cannot control their lies.
A person who has a habit of compulsive lying will give wrong answers to any question. The worst thing is that they do it for no good reason. They have no ulterior motives; people like this also have no special purpose to be realized by their falseness.
It’s very difficult to listen to a person who speaks to you and find out if he or she is a compulsive liar or not. This is simply because the lies which the compulsive liars tell are credible and absolutely probable.
Is it possible to identify a compulsive or a pathological liar? According to a study conducted by B.H. King and C.V. Ford of the Department of Psychiatry, the Hospital of UCLA, compulsive lying has a few indicators.

3 Signs of Compulsive Lying

 

1. The Stories Do Not Match

The most obvious sign of a compulsive liar is that their stories never match. They are always confused about their made up facts. A person who is prone to compulsive lying will often add detail to their lies, so the new lie is different from the one they started.
An intentional liar has a hidden aim and will, therefore, they will pay particular attention to remembering the very lies they have actually told earlier. A compulsive liar, however, is going to tell self-defeating lies.

2. No Limits

Compulsive liars are incessant. They will lie at every opportunity, even if it is absolutely unnecessary. Most of the times, their lies are harmless. But is it hard to believe a compulsive liar if they can tell the truth?
The main reason for this tendency to lie about all sorts of things is the fact that compulsive liars often do not realize they are lying. Sometimes they just cannot stop, even though they know they are lying.

3. Guilty As Accused

Compulsive liars often admit that they lie when they are confronted with enough facts. This is different from a deliberate liar who can still try to actually defend themselves. It truly proves that this kind of liar is quite fearless, with no regard for the consequences of their actions.
This often leads to the person confronting a stunned obsessive comptroller, since the confrontation also shows the absence of an ulterior motive. You cannot understand why the compulsive liar lied at all! The sad part is that even the compulsive liar has no answer to this question.

What Are the Causes of Compulsive Lying?

Certain central nervous system problems, such as epilepsy, infection and other issues, have been associated with the causes of this disorder. There is no precise pattern regarding gender – men and women are equally affected.
In fact, compulsive lying is a very miserable state because as soon as the liar has been truly exposed, almost everyone who knows you excludes you. However, if you ever see a compulsive liar in someone you know and care for, don’t be angry. Try and help them out of this instead.

How Can You Stop This Habit?

To admit that you have a problem is the first courageous step towards overcoming your compulsive lying problem. Asking for help is the second.
Psychotherapy, counseling or hypnosis therapy could help you to identify and address the causes of your lying addiction, and to stop lying in a short time.
As you begin to overcome the causes and habits of compulsive lies, you may notice an improvement in your relationships and a significant increase in your self-confidence. The truth is that people who have the habit of compulsive lying have very low self-esteem.
Equally important is good psychotherapy. Besides finding the ways for you to stop lying, a psychotherapist will also help you discover the cause of your compulsive lying issue so you can lead a more fulfilling and authentic life.
On your first visit, you can discuss your compulsive lying problem confidentially, ask questions, and decide if your psychotherapist is right for you. This first session will give the psychotherapist a good idea of the problems and help them understand what you want to achieve.
After the first session, they will tailor a treatment plan to your individual needs. It’s possible that the psychotherapist can control your patterns through hypnotherapy by altering your very habitual thoughts and reactions. In general, however, long-term treatment is not only recommended but also required.
Psychoanalytic psychotherapy is an extremely intense, perceptive treatment that requires honest commitment from you to address the issues, but it is very effective in solving the causes of compulsive lying.

Conclusion

People who repeatedly lie are not very easy to deal with, but they should not be labeled as evil or manipulative. Their lies can become compulsive for lots of reasons, often which are deeply rooted in problematic childhoods.
Compulsive lying issues can affect the lives of persons who tell the lies as well as those around them, thus the tips above are a way to deal with it effectively.
References:

 

 

 

 

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Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 10:24
Sábado, 26 / 01 / 19

The Body Language of Lying: Top Secrets Revealed by Psychologists ~ Margaret B.

The Body Language of Lying: 

Top Secrets Revealed by Psychologists.

By Margaret B.

January 25th, 2019. 

 

body language of lying.

 

 

The body language of lying is something that is very important to learn. This is not to say that everybody you meet will be a liar and a cheat, of course.

Simply put, knowing how to spot the signs of lying will make your life easier. Body language is a dead giveaway when it comes to this kind of thing. Knowing when somebody’s body language is giving away their true thoughts and intentions is critical. When it comes to business relationships, in particular, knowing the body language of lying is critical.
The underlying theory of the body language of lying is that people can’t control that body language. When body language and oral language matches up, everything is fine. Otherwise, something is wrong.
Read on for secrets shared by psychologists that can show you when somebody is lying!

Inconsistencies

People normally have a specific body language. This tip is only useful if you know someone well enough to know what their normal is, unfortunately. Sometimes people who normally act one way can act in another. The body language of lying will tell you that this means that they are not being honest with you.
One prominent example of this is when people use the wrong hand to gesture with. Most people will use their dominant hand to make gestures which are important. If they suddenly switch, that means that the person is most likely lying to you.

The eyes have it

Prolonged eye contact isn’t normal, but you should expect people to look at you at least some of the time. If someone is not looking at you, then this can be a sign of lying. It can mean that people are very uncomfortablewith what they are saying.
If someone is not looking at you, and their eyes are darting around, this can also be a sign. Darting eyes indicates discomfort. It means that people feel trapped by the situation, and also that they are trying to get out of it. Often by any means necessary.
Rapid blinking is another good tool to see the body language of lying. Most people blink a certain number of times a minute – and men blink less than women. If someone is blinking rapidly, it could just mean that they have something in their eye. It could, however, also mean that they are lying. People blink more rapidly when they are stressed.
As a corollary to this, check how long people close their eyes for. A blink doesn’t last very long. If someone is closing their eyes for longer, they are doing it as a defence mechanism. This defence mechanism could be in relation to them lying to you.
The way people look can sometimes be a giveaway. The direction of someone’s gaze often corresponds to their dominant hand. If a right-handed person looks left, they are accessing their imagination.
The same goes for left-handed people, except in reverse. The body language of lying has them act in opposition to their own normal. Think of why someone might need to use their imagination while talking to you…it could be because they are lying.

Smile!

Many people have a fake smile to go with their real one. A real smile will have an effect on the face as a whole. People get smile wrinkles and nose scrunches when they smile.
If the person you are talking to has them, it is a real smile. If not, then it is not a real smile. A fake smile could be a sign that people are lying to you.

Touch

People quite often touch their face when they lie. This is part of them being uncomfortable with what they are doing and saying. Keep an eye out for it! This part of the body language of lying is especially true for people who don’t normally touch their faces when speaking to someone.

Movement

Fidgeting is very common for people who are uncomfortable. Much like blinking, it is a defence mechanism, meant to keep us on the ready for anything bad happening.
It can function as a way of detecting lies with the body language of lying. If someone is fidgeting, it can mean that they are uncomfortable with what they are saying. If you want to see if someone is lying, watch for any untoward movements.
Body language, as has been said, should match the situation. It is very difficult to conceal your own body language, which is why so many people keep an eye on it. Whatever you are saying is mimicked in whatever you are doing. This can make lies and deceit very easy to spot, particularly when you are talking to someone you know well.
It would have a detrimental effect on your life to constantly be on the watch for signs of lying. It would probably be best if you didn’t try and find out if everybody you speak to is lying, but it can be helpful. In business terms, or when having a difficult conversation, it can be very helpful.
References:
  1. https://www.businessinsider.com
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com

 

 

 

 
 
About the Author: Margaret B.
 
Margaret is a freelance writer and tutor. She spends her time reading and writing, hoping to learn why people act the way they do. She is a lifelong fan of both philosophy and fantasy.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 



 
 

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Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.

 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 00:30
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