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Domingo, 24 / 05 / 20

How to Put Yourself First and 5 Situations When It’s Necessary.

How to Put Yourself First and 5 Situations When It’s Necessary.

Lauren Edwards-Fowle,

M.Sc. and B.Sc.

learning-mind.com

Posted May 24th, 2020.

 
 

 

A pessimist is somebody who always sees the negative side. Pessimistic people expect the worst and are generally seen as unhappy, gloomy individuals. However, how thin is the line between a pessimist and a realist?

Traits of Pessimistic People

1. Always expecting the worst

This can relate to anything; the outcome of a job interview, the reason the phone is ringing, or how fun tonight’s party is going to be. A pessimist is a solid ‘glass half empty’ person and never has hopeful expectations that things will work out better than expected.
2. Finding it hard to see the joy in life
Somebody pessimistic doesn’t decide to be a downer; that would be a negative person who deliberately finds the bad in life. A pessimist might desperately want to feel as excited as everybody else but find it impossible to rationally think the same as others.

3. Difficulty with trusting relationships

As a natural pessimist, a person will take a lot of hard work before they can look to the future with positivity. It can, therefore, be really hard for these people to form close emotional bonds since their innate expectation is that it will turn out badly, and their trust will be crushed.

4. A tendency towards anxiety

Whilst the world around a pessimist will seem naïve, it can be tough to not feel overwhelmed by all the potential for things to go wrong. This can lead to stress and anxiety, feeling isolated with worries and concerns that nobody else can seem to see.

5. Excellent at contingency planning

A pessimist might see himself or herself as a realist; either way, they always have a Plan B. If you can’t accept the likelihood that plans will work out well, you will always be planning for the fallout, and have a back-up plan for when that happens. This makes pessimistic people excellent team members who can cope better than most with problems and challenges.

What Is the Difference between Pessimistic People and Realistic People?

Many pessimists will claim to be realists. They don’t have any other way of thinking and probably feel that all the optimists are gullible and reckless for not seeing the impending danger.
However, realism and pessimism are two different things.

Logic vs. assumption

Realists use their logistical reasoning to decide on what they believe is the most likely outcome. Pessimistic people don’t have this power of logic and will automatically assume the worst, regardless of the evidence to suggest otherwise.

Acceptance of other opinions

A pessimist finds it hard to accept that other people might feel differently from them. They might even feel it is their responsibility to convince others that they are right. A realist, on the other hand, can acknowledge different viewpoints and not take it personally if people disagree with them. They will be sure they are still in the right though!

Keeping control

Being incapable of seeing the positive in anything can be a demotivating experience. It often leads pessimistic people to experience anxiety and stress. Realists don’t suffer in the same way, knowing that their opinions are borne from fact and deduction.

What Are the Benefits of Being a Pessimistic Person?

It isn’t all doom and gloom. So if you think you may be a natural pessimist, there are some positives to take away from this personality trait!

1. Limited expectations

This may seem like a downside, but in fact, a pessimist who sets the bar for their expectations low will be more often happily surprised than other people. This can be an effective defense mechanism to cope with previous disappointments and mitigate the chance of being badly hurt.

2. Preventative healthcare

If you always expect the worst, you are very likely to be convinced that every lump and bump is a terminal illness. Pessimists tend to take very good care of themselves and react quickly to any potential health problems. This makes them much more likely to effectively manage any illnesses that do come their way.

3. Resistance to pressure

Pessimistic people are less prone to believing fake news or listening to bad advice than most of us. They use a negative outlook as a cognitive tool to analyze and respond to new situations. Thus, they have better courage in their convictions than most. This makes pessimists far less likely to buy into propaganda than any other people.

4. No forced feelings

An optimist will often be crushed when something works out badly. A pessimistic person will have seen it coming all along, so they will have been emotionally preparing for the fallout. Usually, an optimist will feel the need to continually be upbeat, to the point of faking it when they are feeling bad, which can be a stressful experience.

Conclusion

The reality is that most of us don’t choose our personalities and need to learn coping strategies to manage our less positive traits. However, there is always the capacity to change. Recognizing any tendencies that you would like to work on is the first step to effecting personal development.
There isn’t anything wrong with being a pessimistic person, much as there isn’t anything bad about being an optimist. Both have pluses and negatives, and both will leave you vulnerable to certain outcomes that will impact harder on your psyche than somebody with a different mindset.
Accepting who you are, and how best to deal with your personality to ensure it doesn’t negatively affect your relationships and social interactions is critical for all of us to make sure we are true to ourselves and living our best lives.
References:
  1. Psychology Today
  2. The Conversation

 

Lauren Edwards-Fowle

 
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 18:33
Quarta-feira, 13 / 05 / 20

How to Put Yourself First and 5 Situations When It’s Necessary.

How to Put Yourself First and 5 Situations When It’s Necessary.

Lauren Edwards-Fowle,

M.Sc. and B.Sc.

learning-mind.com

Posted May 13th, 2020.

 
 

 

Learning how to put yourself first sounds easier than it is. Our culture tends to reward selflessness, and most of us feel guilty about prioritizing our own needs over those of other people.
However, never looking out for yourself is a fast-track path to burnout. Let’s take a look at little ways you can adjust your thinking to look after number one, and those situations where it is necessary.

How to Put Yourself First?

With so many pressures and responsibilities in our busy modern lives, here are some simple ways to ensure your self-care doesn’t sit on the back burner:

1. Take Time to Connect With Yourself

It is all too easy to rush headlong into every day and forget to take a moment to stop and think. If you are a people pleaser, you probably automatically agree to whatever is asked of you, without considering whether it is detrimental to you.
Being mindful is all about being in the moment, and taking stock of how you feel both physically and mentally. If you are serious about your long-term health, it is vital to decide when you have reached your limits, and be able to identify when you are not feeling at your best.
Should you be asked to help out at an event, pick up an extra shift, or do a ‘quick’ favor for a friend, take a moment before you say yes. If you are feeling tired, run-down, or experiencing a few aches and pains, it might be time to say no.

2. Manage Your Own Time

Our time is our own, but sometimes we forget that WE control what we do with each day. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to – within reason – and acknowledging the value of your time is important to be able to put yourself first.
Map out your plans for the day, and prioritize those things that hold great value for you. Don’t be tempted to cross out the long hot bath you have been looking forward to, or postpone your hair appointment till next week because other last-minute tasks crop up.
Taking care of yourself puts you in a better position to give time, energy, and support when it is needed. Make sure that you place as much value on allocating time to your own needs, as you do on using it to carry out duties for other people.

3. Say No and Mean It

We all want to say yes – yes, we can help; yes, we are here for you; yes, I can do that for you. It becomes a habit, whereby we are the fall-back for every friend and colleague who needs a helping hand.
It is great to be able to offer people your support and to be regarded as the kind of person who is willing and able to help out when they are needed. However, if you always say yes, you establish a pattern of behavior that becomes hard to break away from. If you don’t have the time, then say so! If you don’t feel comfortable with something that is being asked of you, allow yourself to say no!
You don’t need to say yes every time to be a good friend, and maintaining the importance of your boundaries will mean that when you do say yes, you mean it.

When Is It Necessary to Put Yourself First?

There are some situations where it is less about boundaries, and more about the vital need to look after your needs.

1. When you are feeling run down

If you are tired, burning out, or feeling the stress mounting up, now is the time you need to stop looking out for others and start concentrating on yourself. Stress causes no end of physical and mental health issues and ignoring it will not solve the problem.

2. When you feel taken for granted

Being helpful feels great, but if you feel that your kindness is being manipulated or your efforts are taken as a given, you need to put up your boundaries. Feeling unappreciated could make you resentful of those times when you do help out, and damage your relationships in the long run.

3. When you are experiencing aches and pains

Our bodies will always let us know when it is time to slow down. Little niggles are easy to ignore, but they could be a symptom of a potentially more serious problem. Slow down, give yourself time to recuperate, and you will be fighting fit next time your help is needed.

4. When you aren’t setting the example you would like to

Albert Schweitzer said that ‘example is not the main thing influencing others, it is the only thing’. If you feel that you are constantly rushing around and not taking any time for yourself, your children will see this as the norm. Teaching our kids about self-care is important for their development, so if you don’t feel like you are showing them the value of putting themselves first, perhaps take a step back – and explain to them why.

5. When you are neglecting your relationships

If your spouse, partner, or family are starting to feel ignored, it is time to evaluate how you allocate your time and make sure that you take care of your relationships with those closest to you before you consider anything else. Your closest family matter more to you than any other commitment, so if they are feeling left out of your busy schedule, decide to prioritize with your own needs in mind.
We have all heard the phrase ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’, and it remains true. Putting yourself first is not selfish; it is essential self-care to make sure that you meet your own needs and keep your health in check before committing to anything else that takes away from it.
Spending a little time on self-care along with knowing when you need to put yourself first makes you a healthier, happier person – and all the more capable of being a great friend, partner, and colleague when you are needed.

 

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
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Alternatives to YouTube
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 23:30
Sexta-feira, 08 / 05 / 20

4 Signs of Fishing for Compliments and Why People Do It

4 Signs of Fishing for Compliments and Why People Do It

Lauren Edwards-Fowle,

M.Sc. and B.Sc.

learning-mind.com

Posted May 6th, 2020.

 
 

 

When someone is fishing for compliments, it means that they are intentionally saying self-deprecating things or belittling their achievements, expecting you to say something nice to them.
Everyone likes to feel good about themselves, and I am sure we are all guilty of fishing for compliments from time to time. But why do we do it – and what sort of people are obsessed with external validation?

Signs someone is fishing for a compliment:

1. Negging

This refers to someone who constantly puts themselves down – even though they know their self-criticism isn’t true. Negging means negativity, so for example if you know someone with amazing hair who posts about how rubbish they look today, they’re probably guilty! This kind of attention-seeking draws in positive external messages, knowing that friends and family will be quick to reassure them they look as beautiful as ever.

2. Feigning insecurity

When somebody you know to be confident and outgoing feigns vulnerability, they are likely looking for encouragement to reaffirm their sense of self-belief. For example, someone who claims to have been struggling in their professional career (who you know is not) knows that they will receive messages of positive encouragement as a result of exposing their ‘insecurities’ with the world.

3. Rejecting anything nice you say

A person fishing for compliments will try to reject kind words, in return for an increased response. As an example, if you tell somebody their latest project was a great success and they brush it aside as mediocre, the chances are they are not expecting you to agree! Rather, they expect you to enthuse more about their standard of work to make sure they know just how excellent it is.

4. Pretending to be ignorant

If someone you know has an obvious style, accent, or look, they might pretend not to have realized how much attention it brings them. In doing so, they are attempting to draw more attention to the fact, and receive more compliments and mentions about what makes them so special.
Overall, someone making statements about themselves which they know to be untrue; whether about their achievements, personality, or appearance – is probably fishing for compliments to tell them the opposite.

Why Do Some People Fish for Compliments?

Let’s face it, not much brightens up your day like an unexpected compliment! However, some people can’t resist, and some have very serious reasons why.

1. They lack self-esteem

Sometimes it can come off as arrogant, but a person trying to attract positive words may be suffering from low self-esteem. It may be that they cannot acknowledge their worth without external validation, and feel compelled to seek this regularly to reaffirm their confidence levels.

2. They are an egotist

On the other hand, people who can’t stand not being congratulated may be pure egotists. Their arrogance makes them desire to be the center of attention at all times. They might find it impossible to see somebody else in the limelight and need to receive as much attention as possible.

3. They feel inferior

Not everybody who is trying to gain favorable attention is arrogant; they might genuinely feel inferior to others and seek encouragement to deem themselves worthy of their company, privileges, and opportunities. In this case, compliments make them feel that they are in the right place, and can combat experiences such as imposter syndrome.

4. They thrive on admiration

With the limitless power of social media comes a greater capacity for comparison than ever before. Some people feel an intense need for acknowledgment, and collect admirers to feel good about themselves. Many influencers count their qualities by the number of followers they have, and receiving kind comments will reinforce their feelings of satisfaction.

5. They are genuinely proud

We have all had those periods where we have achieved something outstanding, and yet, it seems to slip by unnoticed. A subtle way of bringing attention to our successes is by fishing for compliments, perhaps by mentioning in an off-hand way that our greatest aspiration has been reached. In this situation, heap on the praise – they deserve it!

6. They need external validation

Hand in hand with self-esteem issues, many people find it hard to validate their actions or feel a sense of self-gratification without needing this reinforced by other people. These people will always need validation from strangers to make them feel good. Some examples of this behavior include:
  • receiving admiring messages,
  • not acknowledging or accepting the power of their thoughts,
  • feeling compelled to follow the trend in publishing the minutiae of their private lives online.

What’s the Difference between Fishing for Compliments and Phishing for Compliments?

Whilst fishing is usually harmless, and a small public attempt to gain recognition, phishing for compliments is something rather more sinister.
Phishing is a malicious activity, usually online or through email servers, to get access to private information and data. Think about your credit card details, address, or information about your identity.
One of the clever ways that hackers and spammers have to steal your data is to go phishing for compliments; so have your wits about you! If you receive an unsolicited message from a gorgeous person asking what you think of their outfit, don’t reply, don’t click on the ‘private’ photo they have sent you, and don’t spend a moment wondering if you have just let a wonderful opportunity pass you by.
With our vulnerable hearts and generous natures, it can feel natural to respond for pleas for validation. But if these don’t come from somebody you know, keep your distance!

 

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternatives to YouTube
bitchete.com
brighteon.com

 
 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
Free counters!

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publicado por achama às 00:20
Segunda-feira, 20 / 04 / 20

5 Signs the Proud Person in Your Life Is Just Arrogant.

5 Signs the Proud Person in Your Life Is Just Arrogant.

Lauren Edwards-Fowle,

M.Sc. & B.Sc.

learning-mind.com

Posted March 19th, 2020.

 
 

 

Pride is the great quality of appreciating your successes and having confidence in your endeavors. However, when does pride become toxic and become a manifestation of arrogance? Could the proud person you know be just conceited? Do you sometimes feel that your significant other isn’t proud but has reached the tipping point of becoming arrogant?

What is the difference between pride and arrogance? Let’s take a look at how to work out whether a proud person is just conceited.

Defining pride:

The dictionary defines pride as:
“Feeling self-respect or pleasure in something by which you measure your self-worth; or being a reason for pride.”
Feelings of pride reflect your emotions arising from an accomplishment. Feeling proud of yourself is linked to an achievement or success that has rewarded your efforts with positivity.
Pride doesn’t just relate to yourself; you can be proud of others or proud of group achievements. It connects with other feelings, such as honor, dignity, and self-respect. Pride is justifiable and has an identifiable reason.
Confidence is not a bad trait, and being proud of your successes can lead to improvements in self-esteem. The problem, of course, comes with overwhelming pride, and when confidence eclipses those positive character traits and becomes arrogance.

Defining arrogance:

Arrogance is not the same thing as pride; a proud person is not necessarily conceited. Being arrogant is similar to other negative perspectives:
  • Vanity
  • Conceitedness
  • Selfishness
  • Disrespectfulness
An arrogant person believes himself or herself to be superior to others, whether or not they have a logical reason to think so. They consider themselves more valuable, their contributions more important, and have excessive expectations of their abilities.
This leads to dominance, an elevated impression of a person’s talent, and a lack of regard or respect for other people around them. Conceitedness is not justifiable, is not necessarily linked to any achievements or successes, and applies only to that person’s opinion of themselves.

Signs that a proud person is just arrogant

1. They demand to be the center of attention

People who have achieved great things have every right to be proud. However, talent speaks for itself, and sometimes the most successful people shy away from the limelight. A conceited person will insist on being the center of attention at all times.
This can manifest as:
  • Talking over people in conversation
  • Raising their voice to be heard, or drowning out others
  • Turning every subject around to talk about themselves
  • Having a dominant personality
  • Refusing to let anybody else make decisions

2. They feel threatened by other proud people

Somebody who has much to feel confident about will welcome interesting conversations, personal challenges, and meeting new people. If you are confident in yourself and have a healthy level of self-respect, it is unusual to feel intimidated by others.
An arrogant person will often feel ‘at risk’ when confronted with other people who, perhaps, would be able to spot the flaws in their persona and contradict their boasting of accomplishments.

3. They are often irritated or annoyed by people they perceive as weak

Selfish people don’t have much time for others, and will usually try to surround themselves with a social group they consider to be their peers. Conceited people also often attempt to ingratiate themselves with connections with greater achievements than their own, either to gain a higher social status or because they believe themselves to be on a par.
Likewise, an arrogant person will find quieter people or those they consider to be weak an annoyance. They do not have empathy, will not be willing to spend any time with people who don’t further their objectives, and will quickly become frustrated and annoyed.

4. They always believe themselves to be right

Vanity means believing your ideas, suggestions or thoughts to be far superior to those that anybody else could come up with. Arrogant people are uncompromising and extremely difficult to work and live with.
Have you ever seen somebody watching an expert on the news, or viewing a professional sports event, and insist that they know better, or could have done a better job? That is an example of excessive pride, whereby a person truly thinks his or her power of thought, and physical performance is better than anybody else’s – no matter how much evidence there might be to the contrary!

5. They have no respect for other people

If people have an extremely high opinion of themselves, they probably don’t have much room in their psyche for considering anybody else.
A person with excess pride will often show this in lots of small ways, which can conclusively point to their lack of respect for other people:
  • Always being late
  • Never doing a favor for anybody else
  • Having high expectations from the people in their lives
  • Being unwilling to show any generosity
  • Speaking over people
  • Putting the phone down without saying goodbye
  • Interrupting constantly

Conclusion

Being proud and confident are not bad qualities to have. Everybody should feel a sense of pride when they have achieved something difficult, or shown resilience and forbearing. However, arrogance is something quite different, and spending a lot of time around it can be draining.
If you think that the proud person in your life may be arrogant, perhaps now is the time to address the problem. They may not realize that their behaviors have gone too far, and being conscious of how they come across could be a wake-up call to reel in the temptation to dominate every relationship.
An innately conceited person might not be capable of change, in which case the best thing to do is to consider your capacity to manage and cope with their personality. If it is harming you, and you constantly feel exhausted by having to make up for their bad behavior, it may be time to start putting yourself first.

 

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternatives to YouTube
bitchete.com
brighteon.com

 
 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
Free counters!

  geoglobe1
 
 
publicado por achama às 00:39
Sábado, 18 / 04 / 20

5 Signs You Are Being Ghosted and How to Deal with It.

5 Signs You Are Being Ghosted and How to Deal with It.

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted March 17th, 2020.

 
 
 
Being ghosted is not a great feeling. Ghosting is when a person you have been dating, usually at an early stage of the relationship suddenly starts ignoring you. They don’t reply to messages, perhaps even block you and effectively turn into a ‘ghost’.
So how do you know if your boyfriend or girlfriend is ghosting you, or is just really busy at the moment and hasn’t had time to reply? Is it worth moving on, or do they need a little more time?
Here are some sure-fire signs that you are being ghosted – or are about to be – and how to deal with it.

1. Vague or abrupt responses

A person who has decided to cut your relationship out of their life may show signs that you are about to experience being ghosted. One of the first signs is abrupt messages that signify a lack of interest and care.
If you have sent a long, cheerful message chatting about your weekend, and receive back ‘ok’, this is a warning sign. Likewise, when you express an interest and ask about how their day is going and you get back a one-word answer, this shows you that your messages are not a priority.
Perhaps your beau is having a really busy day. However, if this is a sudden change from the previous behavior, it might be wise to prepare yourself for being ghosted. Not taking any time to respond or converse is an indicator that you are not a priority.

2. No interest in plans

Whether or not your prospective date has expressed their feelings, if you feel that you are being ghosted you may find that they have no interest in making plans. This may be because they have already decided to move on and just have failed to let you know!
If you have previously had a regular date, for example, and double-check where you are meeting on Friday and receive a non-committal response, it might be time to start moving on yourself.

3. Lack of interest in the conversation

An early warning sign that you might be about to be ghosted is a general lackadaisical conversation style; not responding to questions, not asking you any questions back and generally making no effort to engage in discussions.
Somebody who has already decided not to take the relationship further is not going to spend time and energy on vibrant conversations. Some people, of course, are just not chatty in the morning. However, if you see a surprising change in their tine, they might be about to ghost you.

4. Canceling dates

Everybody has to cancel sometimes; unforeseen circumstances and forgotten commitments are a fact of life. Last-minute cancellations without any specific reason or constant cancellations are something altogether different.
Particularly if a date is continually postponed, it might be an avoidance tactic from a partner not brave enough to tell you that they don’t ever plan to attend.

5. Using emojis or poor grammar

Another recent sign of being ghosted is a general lack of effort. Using emojis rather than taking the time to write out a response is a lazy and effortless way of communicating. Likewise, very poor grammar shows a person who isn’t bothered about how their message is received and is not willing to take the time to read back through what they have written before they press the send button.
Now, some people do struggle with grammar and it isn’t uncommon to communicate with emojis. However, if this is a change from the norm, it may indicate a general lack of interest.

How to deal with being ghosted?

Being ghosted feels horrible. It is akin to being deleted from somebody’s life without any prior warning. The lack of a conversation to explain how you both feel does not allow for closure, and you could be left hanging not understanding what is happening.

If you are being ghosted, here are some tips to help deal with it:

1. Make sure you aren’t jumping to conclusions.

Many factors of life can cause somebody to become distant. They might be overwhelmed with college work, have an ill family member or be under a lot of pressure in their job. So always make sure to check the facts before jumping to conclusions.

2. Check in to make sure everything is ok.

There could have been an incident or accident which they haven’t been able to let you know about. If somebody suddenly disappears, it is worth taking the time to make sure they are ok before making any decisions.

3. Send them a message.

If you know that you are being ghosted, it may help to send them a message. This depends on your feelings and the circumstances, but it may be cathartic to explain your emotions of hurt and disappointment. If this gives you closure, then go for it – but don’t expect a reply.

4. Do not go back.

Someone who has ghosted you might suddenly pop back into your life a few months later. Don’t go there; they have dismissed you once, they are very likely to have the same disregard for your feelings again.

5. Get back out there.

If you are looking for love, the worst thing you can do after being ghosted is to expect the same from every future date. There are lots of wonderful single people in the world so try to move on from the negativity of being ghosted and start dating somebody new.

6. Talk to your friends.

If being ghosted has given your self-esteem a knock, air your feelings with your friends, family, or even a new date. It will help to explain any vulnerabilities you have, and perhaps give them a better understanding of why you react a little excessively if they don’t get back to you straight away.

7. Keep your head high.

Ghosting is a cowardly and insensitive way to end a relationship. You are not at fault, so make sure that you acknowledge the disrespectful nature of being ghosted and don’t carry it around with you for too long.
References:
  1. Men’s Health
  2. Business Insider
 

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
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Alternatives to YouTube
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 20:34
Terça-feira, 17 / 03 / 20

6 Smart Ways to Shut Down Nosey People without

6 Smart Ways to Shut Down Nosey People without Being Rude.

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted March 17th, 2020.

 
 
 
We have all dealt with nosey people in our lives. Some individuals just don’t have a sensitivity filter. We see this all the time:
 
Direct questions from people you don’t know
 
Intrusive or highly personal conversations that do not feel appropriate
 
Controversial statements made to elicit a response
So how can you manage nosey people, and deflect uncomfortable conversations without causing offense?
 
Tact is a valuable skill, and those who do not understand personal boundaries lack it. Here are some ways to use your politeness to avoid being drawn into conversations, or answering questions, that you do not wish to.
 
Just say you aren’t comfortable!
 
This isn’t always the easiest response, but in some situations simply telling someone you’d prefer not to discuss it is the quickest way to shut down the topic.
 
For example, if someone asks whether you are planning to have children, you could try responding, ‘I’m sorry; I’d prefer not to talk about it. Why don’t you tell me about your family?’
 
Very often personal questions aren’t meant to cause upset or offense. Particularly coming from a stranger, the question might be intended as a conversation starter where they are looking for something in common. Turning it around can deflect the discussion and allow them to talk instead.
 
Use your intuition
 
It is sometimes quite obvious that you are encountering a nosey person who is gearing up to ask all sorts of intrusive questions. Situations like sitting next to nosey people on a plane are perfect examples, where you can’t walk away and don’t particularly want to talk about the details of your divorce at length with a stranger.
 
If you feel like an uncomfortable conversation is about to begin, use a distraction technique to signal that you don’t wish to chat. Put in your headphones, start watching a movie, open your book or take a nap.
 
Are they being nosey?
 
Situations that are emotional for us might not be seen as sensitive areas for everyone. If you are asked an awkward question, try pausing to consider why you think this person is being nosey.
 
They might innocently be asking a question, and mean no offense by it. It is easy to bristle at something relevant or causing stress in your life, so remember that other people won’t know you have just been through a break-up, and haven’t intended to upset you by asking.
 
Maintain conversational boundaries
 
Some people are intrusive because they love sharing all the juicy details of their own intimate life! However, this doesn’t apply to everybody, and you need to be able to stand your ground and not answer personal questions that you find inappropriate.
 
There are a few responses that can help demonstrate that you don’t wish to answer, without seeming rude or showing that you might have taken offense:
  • Why do you ask that?
  • I’m afraid there aren’t enough hours in the day for me to answer that!
  • That’s an interesting question – what about you?
  • It’s a sensitive subject for me, so why don’t you tell me about your experience?
  • That is a bit too complicated to get into!
 
Money, money, money
 
Aside from personal relationships, one of the awkward questions most often asked is about money. Some of us are happy to share what we paid for our new home, or how much we are investing in our children’s education. But for a lot of people, finances are private and not something they wish to talk about in polite conversation.
 
If someone asks a financial question, they might have a very good reason. For example, they might be considering buying a home in a similar area, or be thinking about switching schools and be interested to know the comparable cost.
 
Try not to balk, and answer with consideration but without feeling pressured to disclose anything that you’d rather not.
  • More than I like to think about, to be honest!
  • Well, you know what house prices are like in this area, but we love having the park nearby…
  • Thanks for noticing! If you like it, they have a great new range at the store
 
Deflection
 
If you are asked a question you deem inappropriate, you can divert the conversation into an area that you feel more comfortable with.
 
People love to talk, and so asking a question is a great way to switch attention away from you, and back at the nosey person asking the questions! For example:
 
A colleague says: ‘You’re in late today – have you been at a job interview?’
 
Rather than squirming at either lying or disclosing confidential information, you could respond:
  • ‘I’m sure you missed me, but I’m here now! What’s happened today – have I missed anything exciting?’
  • ‘Better late than never! How’s everything going so far?’
  • ‘Yeah I know, I’m sure I have a million emails backed up waiting for me! Are you guys busy today too?’
 
Whatever your response, know that a person with good intentions might not mean to ask uncomfortable questions. However, if you know somebody is deliberately trying to put you on the back foot, don’t be afraid to just walk away.
 
It is better for our peace of mind not to rise to the bait, so laugh it off or shrug if you can, or simply don’t answer. You do not have to validate yourself and have the right to keep things personal if you don’t feel happy talking about them with nosey people.
 
 
References:
  1. Psychology Today
  2. The Spruce
 

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternatives to YouTube
bitchete.com
brighteon.com
BitChute Channel
 
 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 17:21
Domingo, 09 / 02 / 20

5 Annoying Things a Know-It-All Does and How to Deal with Them

5 Annoying Things a Know-It-All Does and How to Deal with Them.

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted February 9th, 2020.

 


 
 
What is a know-it-all; and how do you know if you (or someone in your life) are one?
 
It is a person who thinks they know all the answers, to everything. Invariably, they don’t! We aren’t talking here about experts or people with a high level of knowledge. We are considering people who think they are far more knowledgeable than they are.
 
Know-it-alls tend not to have the self-awareness to recognize this trait. So how do you spot such a person, and most importantly, how do you deal with them?
 
Key traits of a know-it-all
 
1. Arrogance
 
Know-it-alls will truly believe they have all the answers. This ego can manifest in several ways, but invariably, this type of person cannot accept that there is a multitude of things that they do not understand.
 
This huge ego is one of the easiest ways to spot a know-it-all, since they will wear their arrogance on their sleeve, and even believe it to be a positive trait!
 
2. Argumentative
 
If you come across someone who is extremely argumentative for no particular reason, there is a good chance they are a know-it-all. This type of person loves the opportunity to prove somebody else wrong, or to make a point. They might insert themselves into somebody else’s conversation just for the opportunity of sparking an argument.
 
Such a smarty might also turn a gentle discussion into a full-blown row, just for the chance to make their voice heard.
 
3. Patronizing
 
Every know-it-all believes themselves to be of higher intelligence than the people around them. Whilst this couldn’t be further from the truth, they will take great pl
easure in condescending, speaking down to and patronizing others with their superior intellect.
 
This patronizing nature comes from the belief that everybody else is less knowledgeable than they are.
 
4. Correcting others
 
The one thing that a smarty loves best is to be able to correct somebody else. Jumping in uninvited to a conversation, making a point of identifying errors and flaws in another’s argument, or loudly stating corrections is a sure-fire sign of a know-it-all.
 
5. Making excuses
 
On the other hand, the one thing know-it-alls hate most is to be wrong. You would have a very hard time convincing them of this fact, but if a smarty is proven to be incorrect, especially in a public setting, they will endeavor to find any reason to excuse their misinformation.
 
If they use the wrong word, they might try to pass it off as a colloquialism, for example, or say that they had misheard the question. Anything but admit being wrong!
 
So now we know the key traits of know-it-alls, how can we deal with them?
 
Dealing with a know-it-all
 
As with most unpleasant personality traits, a smarty usually has underlying insecurity that leads to their arrogant behavior. These could include:
  1. Insecurity about their own intellect – trying so hard to bury their feelings of inadequacy that they turn this around into being a know-it-all.
  2. Lack of self-control – they might be compulsive and feel unable to keep quiet even if their contribution to the conversation is unwelcome.
  3. A desire for praise – somebody who yearns for approval might act as an over-achiever, and try to come up with a meaningful answer for every question and appear to be smarter than they are.
How to handle know-it-alls
 
Here are my tips as to how to manage a know-it-all, particularly when they are a person you are likely to encounter every day, such as a family member, friend or colleague.
 
1. Ask questions
 
A smarty wants to wow the world with their knowledge, and can often alienate friends by having a retort or comment deriding every statement somebody else might make.
 
This can be diffused by asking them questions. This gives a know-it-all the outlet to express themselves, get their opinions off of their chest and perhaps might mitigate their compulsion to denigrate anybody else’s thoughts or feelings.
 
2. Define the limitations of your time
 
A smarty-pants wants approval. If you find yourself losing valuable time listening to their ramblings, it is up to you to set the boundaries of your time.
 
Try explaining that, whilst you are interested in their opinion, you have an urgent matter to attend to. Or, set the parameters before you talk if you have a colleague who thinks they know everything and you know can wax lyrical for hours on end.
 
3. Admit to not knowing
 
This only works in some circumstances, but know-it-alls may feel fearful of being ‘found out’ and try to obscure that with having an answer for every question. If this is the underlying reason for their behavior, rather than genuine arrogance, saying that you don’t know the answer could put them at ease.
 
Realizing the comfort with which most people have in not knowing absolutely everything is an assurance that this is completely normal, and that they will not be judged for not being a human encyclopedia!
 
4. Try to be understanding
 
If all else fails, you could try showing tolerance for a smarty-pants who probably finds it very hard to maintain friendships or relationships. They might genuinely not realize the extent of their behavior, or how off-putting it can be, so showing empathy might help them to calm down and control their impulses.

 

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternatives to YouTube
brighteon.com
BitChute Channel
 
 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 23:44
Domingo, 09 / 02 / 20

Are You Putting Your Life on Hold? How to Live Your Life Right Now.

 Are You Putting Your Life on Hold? 

How to Live Your Life Right Now.

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted February 4th, 2020.

 

 
 
There are many reasons why you might not be living your life right now and be putting it on hold instead. None of them are ever good ones! Let’s look at the reasons why we might not be living in the present, and how to live our lives right now.
 
Reasons for putting your life on hold:
 
When we say that someone puts their life on hold, it means one thing – that person is waiting for something. What that something is, could be different for every person. Finding out why you are doing this is the first step to start living in the moment.
 
What are you waiting for?
 
Here are examples of why you might be postponing your life:
 
1. Waiting for the ‘next phase’
 
We are constantly evolving, and moving from one period of our lives into the next. Not living your life to the fullest whilst waiting for the time to pass is the worst way to waste years of your life not achieving your aspirations. These phases could include:
  • Waiting till the kids have gone to college
  • Needing to save up a certain amount of money
  • Wanting to have paid off your mortgage
  • Waiting until you have met the right person
  • Hoping to be in better shape or better health
 
2. Needing everything to be perfect
 
Are you putting your life on hold waiting for ideal circumstances that may never arise? Have you ever wished to do something but decided to do it when you win the lottery? Life is rarely perfect, and so delaying goals until it is means you are postponing your life, perhaps indefinitely.
 
3. Longing for love
 
One of the most common reasons why people put their lives on hold is waiting for the perfect relationship. Not everybody wants to settle down and get married, of course, but so many of us think that life will ‘start’ once you find your happily ever after.
 
The fact is that you need to be happy in your skin before you worry about finding your perfect partnership.
 
4. Guilt at moving on
 
After something has happened which you feel the need to be forgiven for, or to seek closure from, avoiding to live your life is the worst decision to make. Without a resolution, it can feel difficult to move forward, but you need to take the first steps to keep moving on with your life and stop putting it on hold waiting for the last chapter to end.
 
5. Indecision
 
Another reason you might be postponing your life is not being able to make a decision. If you have lots of goals and aspirations, but can’t decide which to prioritize you can get stuck in an endless cycle of hesitation until the time has passed by anyway and you haven’t achieved any of the things you set out to do.
 
Breaking the cycle – how to live your life right now
 
Once you have realized that you are putting your life on hold, you need a proactive plan to stop the cycle. Here are some ways to start living your life right now!
 
Accountability
 
Sharing your plans with a friend, partner or collaborator is a great way to kick start action. Do you dream of getting fit, starting a new business, or going back to school?
 
Stop posponing your aspirations by finding a friend to join you on your journey, be part of a support group or enroll in a course to give you the accountability to stand by your decisions and make the first move.
Eliminate indecision
 
Knowing why you refuse to live your life right now is a great way to stamp out those barriers that are holding you back. Take some time to analyze what it is you are waiting for, discuss with a friend or confidante, or seek help from a counselor to be able to walk away from your past into a brighter future.
 
Break down goals into actions
 
Having a huge goal can be daunting. Breaking it down into actionable steps is a way to digest the plan and stop avoiding living your life for fear that your aspirations are too lofty.
 
Want to take a step up on your career ladder? Take some night classes, learn a new language through an app, or look for a mentor to help you understand how to upskill and make the first decisions to start climbing that career ladder.
 
Prioritise yourself
 
Avoiding living your life to the fullest to fulfill obligations is the same as putting yourself last. You only get one life, and delaying it because of responsibilities is a waste of valuable years.
 
Whilst responsibilities for dependents always come first, remember to schedule time for yourself into every day, no matter how busy your schedule. If you had one hour per day to do anything with you wish, what would it be? Think of your answer, and then do it.
 
Start now – right now!
 
It is all too easy to stay in your comfort zone and not rock the boat. No matter how small, the first step is always the hardest but proves to yourself your commitment to achieving something new.
 
Write a list, join a social media group or tell a friend what you want to do. Even just committing to an idea in your head will help solidify your intentions, and help kick start you mentally into working on yourself.

 

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternatives to YouTube
brighteon.com
BitChute Channel
 
 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
Free counters!

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publicado por achama às 04:09
Sexta-feira, 24 / 01 / 20

4 Examples of Sublimation That Demonstrate How It Works in Daily Life

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 23rd, 2020.

 
 
 
 
We all have thoughts and feelings which we know are ‘not okay’ by society’s standards. It’s a natural element of the human condition. What sets humans apart from animals is not a lack of animal impulses, but rather how we manage our animal impulses. One of the techniques we subconsciously use is sublimation. Following is a brief discussion of the theory and a set of examples of sublimation in progress, to help crystallise the concept in your minds.

The Theory of Sublimation

The concept of psychological sublimation finds its roots in the work of Sigmund Freud. Although his theories are contentious these days, there are some fascinating facets to his beliefs about the human mind.

Freud divided the human psyche into three distinct aspects. The Id, our ‘animal brain,’ is home to impulses and urges. The superego, which is the expression of society’s morality, engineers our behaviour to comply with morals, laws and expectations. Last but not least, the ego, which continually works to find the balance between the two.

One of the ways in which the ego balances out the Id’s impulses and the superego’s lofty ideals is through a set of defence mechanisms. These include repression, reaction formation, projection, denial, regression, intellectualisation, rationalisation, displacement and, you guessed it, sublimation.

What Is Sublimation?

But what is sublimation? In essence, it’s the phasing of one thing into another. In chemistry, it’s the transformation of a solid into a gas, in psychology it’s the channelling of inappropriate impulses into positive and productive behaviours.

Instead of reacting in extreme anger, you might clean the house, or go for a run. Instead of sexually propositioning a person, you might write poetry or dance. This can be done consciously but happens most of the time subconsciously.

The process of sublimation protects us from the anxiety around having unacceptable thoughts and urges, preventing us from being negatively impacted by them. Channelling animalistic and primitive impulses into positive outlets preserves our social relationships, our social standing, and essential elements of our lives like jobs and our ability to support ourselves.

It can also act on positive feelings if we subconsciously believe they are too good to last, to protect us from disappointment. In this form, sublimation can become part of the self-sabotaging tendencies people often subconsciously enact when things are going well.

Examples of Sublimation

Sublimation happens mostly subconsciously. We may, therefore, be unaware that this is one of our coping mechanisms. Still, most of the following examples of sublimation apply to the majority of people at some point or another in their lives.

Physical Activity

Competitive sports is one productive way in which aggressive or dominant personality types channel their impulses. Rather than fight or dominate other people, they metaphorically crush them on the sports field. It can be seen as a human version of the ritualised challenges for territory or females that occur in the animal world. A few examples of how sublimation works in full swing might be combat or contact sports and racing.

Often if people feel frustrated, angry, and scattered, or if they are sexually aroused, they go for a run, for a walk, to the gym, use their punching bag etc. These are also sublimation examples. In this way, our mind converts the unacceptable urge to lash out or to have sex with strangers into a beneficial activity.

Chores and menial tasks

Another typical example of sublimation is the conversion of inappropriate urges into useful, menial tasks that, let’s be honest, may otherwise never get done. Instead of being unfaithful to your partner, you pull the weeds out of your flower-beds. Rather than obsessively micro-manage your children, you purge and re-organise all of your belongings.

When you feel like yelling at or confronting your boss, you tidy your desk-space. If your anxiety is causing you deeply distressing and troubling thoughts, you scrub the kitchen and bathrooms clean.

Creative Pursuits

Creativity is a prevalent alternative to inappropriate urges and impulses, most frequently when it comes to sexual sublimation. Instead of sexually accosting a particular person, an example of sublimating your sexual desire might be turning to paint, drawing, sculpting, writing, or any form of craft.

Another example of using creativity to sublimate socially frowned-upon emotions is the transferring of depression, sadness, anxiety or addiction into works of art. Through poetry, story-telling, or other artistic pursuits, negative emotions are channelled into socially valued expressions.

Life-Paths

People’s chosen life-paths can often be expressions of their sublimated urges and desires. Successful managers or administrators have a strong passion for control, micro-managing and organisation. Another example of sublimation might be leadership roles. People in positions of authority often have a need to be obeyed, listened to, feared, loved or respected, that is satisfied through the successful fulfilment of their jobs.

On the darker end of the scale, someone with an urge to cut or harm people might train to be a surgeon, or someone with aggressive tendencies might join the military or the police.

Can we consciously choose sublimation?

Sublimation is, for the most part, a mature subconscious way of dealing with inappropriate urges and impulses. Using the above examples of sublimation and with the help of mental health professionals, train yourself to recognise it. You can then try to identify the urge or impulse your ego is working to conceal.

The crucial element in sublimating consciously is to accept, recognise and validate your feelings, before determining which activity to channel them into. There is no such thing as an inappropriate feeling, only inappropriate or harmful actions. Once you are aware of the urges your ego is hiding from you, you can consciously sublimate them into the activity of your choice.

 

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com
 
 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 09:36
Terça-feira, 07 / 01 / 20

8 Toxic Mental Habits That Mess Up Your Life without You Even Knowing

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 7th, 2020.

 


 
Mental habits are often established over time. Thus, you often don’t even know that you have these habits and how they can mess up your life without you realizing that.
 
Here are some of the key mental habits that harm your life – and what to do about them!
 
1. Listening to self-doubt
 
Your inner critic is not a nice person; they never are. Whilst we all experience self-doubt at times, allowing yourself to be constantly in a battle with your psyche is one of the worst habits for your mental health.
 
Giving airtime to your self-doubt reinforces those feelings and can make you second-guess and question yourself constantly. This saps your ability to progress, move forward and succeed. You can become locked in a circular battle of wills – with yourself.
 
To combat this, try making a list of things you like about yourself. Reinforce your appreciation of your skills, achievements, and successes. Every time you experience self-doubt, remind yourself of every reason you have to believe in yourself and use them to eliminate the self-doubt that is holding you back.
 
2. Seeking constant approval
 
Doing things for the approval of others is another one of the terrible habits we can fall foul of and can mess up your life and mental health significantly. Paying attention to what other people expect from you means side-lining your dreams and wishes. It often results in going down pathways which were never right for you.
 
Remember that you cannot control other people. The only thing you do have control over is yourself. By trying to gauge your actions based on being rewarded with approval is likely to make you second-guess your choices.
 
Even the words you choose can be affected by seeking constant approval! Try to remember that for all the time you are trying to cater to the expectations of people around you, you are forgetting your own. Be clear with yourself about what you want, and then pursue it for all you are worth.
 
3. Being dramatic
 
It is easy to exaggerate from time to time, particularly if you feel frustrated or excited about something! However, this mental habit can mean you lose the respect of your friends who are less likely to take you seriously when something big does happen.
 
Do people tend to roll their eyes when you start telling a story? You probably have one of these mental habits. If you tend to suffer from anxiety or stress when considering the future, you may be focusing on every worst possible scenario, rather then concentrating on the positives.
 
Try using positive mantras to pinpoint your focus on all the possible things that might go right, instead of being dramatic about all the things that could potentially go wrong.
 
The sky isn’t falling and, if you don’t keep expecting it to, it never will.
 
4. Worrying about things outside of your control
 
Worry is one of those mental habits that can be hard to break. Everybody will have genuine things to worry about from time to time, but allowing them to become the norm is a bad mental habit.
 
Suffering from anxiety and overthinking can mess up your life by having a constant negative affect. What other people think is not something you can control, and creating stress around something like this is bad for your mental health and relationships.
 
Try sharpening your attention on those things you can control; your actions, behavior and the language you use to talk with yourself. Once you have a firm grasp of those factors you can influence, the ones you cannot become less of an issue.
 
5. Feeling guilty
 
Another emotion that we all experience now and then, guilt can become a mental habit that is ingrained in your personality. Guilt does not change anything that has happened but allows negative problems and thoughts to weigh heavily on your mind.
 
If you have a good reason to feel guilty, try making amends and apologizing to those you have hurt. Once you have made all the reparations you can, it is time to move on.
6. Keeping score
 
A common and very dangerous one of the common mental habits in the modern age is keeping score. Often this stems from social media and a desire to perform, achieve, and appear to be ‘more’ than other people.
 
Numbers are not indicative of anything other than their size. They also do not grasp qualitative criteria that have no bearing on a score. Being happy is not something that can be reflected in a number, and nor is being at peace with yourself.
 
Let the numbers go – they are not all that important.
 
7. Making yourself responsible for others
 
Making yourself responsible for others is a mental habit that can cause a tide of negativity. When you take responsibility for things that other people do, you create a burden on your shoulders that you cannot influence, since these things are outside of your control.
 
Remember what you are responsible for, and take ownership of that instead.
 
8. Carrying a grudge
 
Forgiveness can be very hard, especially when someone has upset or hurt you. However, carrying a grudge causes you more damage than it does to the other person and does not allow you to move on from the situation.
 
You do not necessarily need to forget, but to forgive is a powerful tool as it allows you to mentally move away from whatever has happened. Forgive someone, even if it is difficult; your subconscious will thank you for it.
 
 
References:
  1. Lifehack.org
  2. Psychology Today

 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 17:20
Sexta-feira, 03 / 01 / 20

How to Stop Complaining All the Time with 4 No-Nonsense Strategies

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 3rd, 2020.

 

 
 
We are all guilty of complaining. Busy schedules, bad weather and stress mount up and cause us to lose sight of the positives around us. Focusing on the negatives, and compounding this by complaining only worsens our mood and outlook. The more we complain, the more problems we perceive. Knowing that it is healthy to have a positive mindset, and knowing how to stop complaining are unfortunately somewhat mutually exclusive!
 
Here are some strategies that can help you to stop complaining, and start living a happier and healthier life:
 
Manage your expectations
 
Often we complain because something hasn’t met with our expectations. We feel inconvenienced and disappointed, and express this through complaining.
 
In order to learn how to stop complaining, we need to rephrase what we expect from a situation to avoid becoming disenchanted with a scenario that we should have been anticipating all along.
Let’s look at an example:
 
You have a meeting. You arrive in good time and wait in reception. Half an hour later, you are still waiting. This is frustrating and you feel unappreciated. Why should you make the effort to make sure you are there in plenty of time, just to be left waiting?
 
Now you are annoyed, and decide to stand up for yourself by complaining. The meeting starts with a negative undertone, and you find it difficult to engage in a positive way. You are left in a bad mood for the remainder of the day, and resent any suggestion that a further meeting might be requested in the future.
How to rephrase:
 
Let’s take a minute here. Could there be a very good reason that you were left waiting? Perhaps there was an emergency situation that had to be dealt with, and unfortunately, impacted your appointment?
 
There are very often times when we are required to wait. This could be in advance of a meeting, prior to an appointment, or even in a queue whilst shopping. Realistically, you could have anticipated the potential that you would have had some time to spare.
 
Rather than letting the situation frustrate you, and damage your perspective for the rest of the day, why not try and prepare for inconveniences?
 
Pack a good book into your bag as a great way to make the most of any spare time that comes your way! Falling behind with replying to emails, or have forgotten to call your parents in a few days? Use this time to catch up on other obligations and put the extra time to positive use and be able to tick something off of your To-Do list!
 
Using a little foresight to prepare for circumstances outside of our control gives us ownership. If you know your commute is likely to be long, download a few great podcasts to make your journey enjoyable. I’d guarantee that you would have a better evening having enjoyed the trip home rather than arriving through the door complaining about the traffic.
 
 
Every second counts; use them wisely!
 
Take time for gratitude
 
In the course of a busy day, there are lots of things which happen which we can express gratitude for. Busy schedules and pressures of life can mean we don’t ever stop to acknowledge them.
 
If you have the unfortunate habit of complaining, taking time to stop and reflect on all those things you are taking for granted is a powerful tool.
 
Try keeping a gratitude journal, where each day you write down one thing that you are grateful for. It could be a message from a loved one. You might be grateful for a sunny day. Perhaps you enjoyed a nice lunch, or are grateful for the clothes you have to wear. Living in a safe and dry home is something most of us are fortunate to experience but forget is not a given for everybody.
 
Once you start to focus on those positive aspects of your day, it helps illuminate your level of thinking to rise above things that might normally cause you to complain.
 
There are many things to be grateful for; it is never a bad day to stop and smell the flowers!
 
Avoid mutual dissatisfaction as a social tool
 
In social interactions, we all try to find common ground. This is a perfect way to strike up a conversation, break the ice, and get to know a little more about somebody.
 
The difficulty is that one of the easiest ways to establish something in common is to find something we both dislike. How many conversations have you experienced that start with complaining about the weather, or about how bad the traffic was today? I’d be willing to bet it is rather a lot.
 
One great way to stop complaining is to position yourself in a place where the negatives are always considered the lowest priority.
 
If you are going somewhere to meet new people, try having a few icebreakers in your back pocket; and make sure none of them are complaints! Here are a few ideas:
  • I really enjoy meeting new people, how about you?
  • May I ask a little more about what brings you here today?
  • These events are always great fun, have you been here before?
  • I’m really looking forward to the weekend with my family; do you have anything planned?
 
Complain in a constructive way
 
Complaining for the sake of expressing yourself is sometimes cathartic. However, it can be more positive and constructive to find a solution for the problem at hand.
 
If you are feeling frustrated and really need to vent, thinking about what actions you can take to avoid such a complaint recurring is a useful way both to take control of the situation and to find a positive solution.
 
Here are some thought process adjustments you can make:
 
Complaint: I’m so annoyed I can’t believe I didn’t get there on time!
 
Constructive complaint: I am frustrated with myself to have been running late. Next time I will set myself an alarm to leave 15 minutes earlier to allow for the traffic, which I know is usually bad this time of day.
 
Complaint: I won’t be coming here again; the service is far too slow!
 
Constructive complaint: I was disappointed with the service and will let my server know. I will ask if there is a reason that service today is not at the usual standard and will listen to the answer I receive.
 
Complaint: This queue is ridiculously long; I’ve wasted so much time!
 
Constructive complaint: Next time I need to visit this store, I will come at a quieter time of day to avoid the long queues.
 
 
References:
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com
 
 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
Free counters!

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publicado por achama às 07:51
Segunda-feira, 30 / 12 / 19

3 Most Common Negative Feelings and How to Cope with Them

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted December 28, 2019.

 

 


We all experience negative feelings from time to time. How we manage them and having coping mechanisms in place is vital to ensure we can move forward and process our emotions in a healthy way.

Here are some of the most common negative feelings, what they mean, and how you can deal with them.

Anxiety/Nerves
Anxiety is common and can be a very normal emotion to experience. Preparing for a difficult conversation or practicing for an important job interview are situations that are bound to invoke nerves.


However, constant anxiety, particularly around everyday circumstances, can build up over time and create a pressure cooker of emotions which has a negative stressor effect on our health, both mental and physical.

What can you do to cope with anxiety?
If you are experiencing extreme or very regular anxiety, it is critical to recognise this and set aside some time to work through the causes. Often, anxiety is an indicator of an underlying problem, and talking through your feelings with somebody you trust is a great way of trying to work through the issues that could be causing it.

Ensure that you are practicing good self-care by sleeping well, keeping yourself active, and putting time into maintaining your close relationships even when you find it difficult to express yourself.

If you feel able to, try keeping a regular journal to identify when your anxiety is at its peak. This should help identify which parts of your life are causing your anxiety, and give you an idea about where the stress is being created that you need to work on mitigating or eliminating from your life.

Further help and support is available should you be experiencing intense feelings of anxiety. Please check our article about emotion-focused coping techniques for more guidance on dealing with anxiety.
Guilt

We can all feel guilty now and again; it is a negative emotion that can relate to any aspect of our lives. Parents often talk about guilt when trying to balance their priorities between parenting, career, social life and self-care.

Other triggers for feelings of guilt can involve being more fortunate than others or having to choose between social engagements or which friends to spend the most time with and feeling guilty at having had to make that choice.

You can also experience guilt as a result of having a guilty conscience; having done something you are not proud of, and then regretting your actions later.

How to cope with guilt

If you are struggling with feelings of guilt, the first step is to try and understand whether it is healthy or not. Should there be a clear and identifiable reason behind these negative feelings, and you know why you are experiencing guilt, this is likely a healthy emotion and a natural reaction to perhaps some behavior that you have come to regret.

In this circumstance there are several things you can do to alleviate your guilt:
  • Taking ownership of whatever action it may be that you regret
  • Apologizing to anybody who you feel you have wronged
  • Finding ways of making amends for any hurt you may have caused
  • Being prepared to listen to the person or people you have hurt, and giving them the time to find closure in explaining what you can do to move forward from this
  • How to manage unhealthy guilt

Unhealthy guilt is quite different and is where your emotions are not rational or identifiable. In this circumstance, you need to process the reasons behind your negative emotions and take steps to be able to clarify your mind to avoid dwelling on the situation unnecessarily.

This could involve speaking about your feeling with a group, or with a person you trust. You could try writing down exactly why you are experiencing guilt and try to identify things you can do to be proactive about controlling this emotion.

If your guilt is not within your control, you can look to work through those aspects which you can and identify where your behaviours can influence the situation.

Perhaps you have no reason to be experiencing guilt, in which case you need to ensure that you are not being manipulated into feeling guilty for events which you did not cause and move onwards and upwards.

Anger

Anger is probably one of the most common negative feelings. Everybody experiences anger to some extent when they feel wronged or treated unfairly.


How you manage anger, however, is crucial to maintaining healthy relationships and ensuring that your emotions are expressed clearly, whilst being under your control.

Ways to cope with anger
  • Take a deep breath. Often anger is a knee jerk reaction. Try counting to 10 slowly, closing your eyes, and practice deep breathing. Sometimes taking a moment out of the situation can be enough to calm down, and process how you wish to respond.
  • Give yourself some quiet time. If you are overwhelmed with a situation and feel as though you are close to lashing out, remove yourself to have some time to think and decide what course of action is best suited to the situation.
  • Identify the cause of your anger. Sometimes anger is rational, and expressing your feelings is essential to be able to ‘get it off your chest’. Other times, you may be misdirecting your anger, and need to ensure that you are not pointing the finger of blame in the wrong place.
  • Do something about it. Sometimes anger is frustration reaching the tipping point; if this is the scenario, try to take proactive and positive steps to dispel the circumstances which are leading you to experience negative emotions. Speak out, write a list, decide on actions – allow yourself to take active control of the situation.

If you are experiencing feelings of anger which you are struggling to control, do not hesitate to seek help. There are many anger management counsellors and groups who can help you work through the cause of your negative emotions and find healthy outlets to help you start feeling more positive.
 
 

 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com
 
 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
Free counters!

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publicado por achama às 06:45
Segunda-feira, 16 / 12 / 19

5 Signs of Compassion Fatigue and How to Deal with It as an Empath

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted December 15, 2019.

 

 

An empath by their very nature is extremely sensitive and should always be conscious of the signs of compassion fatigue. Empaths tend to be so acutely aware of the feelings of other people, that at times they can acquire those very emotions themselves.

There are many beautiful aspects to being an empath, and having the gift of being able to relate to and understand the feelings and natures of people. However, it can be emotionally and spiritually draining to be constantly bombarded with these heightened experiences.

What is compassion fatigue?
Compassion fatigue is a phenomenon that specifically impacts empaths. These are individuals with a highly caring nature, who often provide nurture within their line of work. Empaths often work as nurses, veterinarians or in philanthropic endeavours.

This condition is serious, and anybody with a strong empathetic nature should be on the look-out for signs of compassion fatigue. The reason that compassion fatigue arises is due to a sense of being overwhelmed by the influx of emotion, and the burden of carrying the distress of other people.

How do you know if you are experiencing compassion fatigue?
One of the key signs of compassion fatigue is that an empath will become desensitized to emotion. They may lose their ability to connect with people and find their emotions replaced with negative conditions including indifference, apathy and even anger. This is a downward spiral, and it is important to understand the signs of compassion fatigue to avoid falling victim to it.

The top 5 signs of compassion fatigue:

1. Feeling numb or indifferent


This is an unusual experience for an empath. When faced with a difficult situation, they automatically feel an engagement with a person or set of circumstances.

Feeling numb or not caring is an early sign of compassion fatigue. When sensory input becomes overwhelming, your response is to protect yourself by blocking acknowledgment of those sensors. If ignored, these feelings can descend from numbness to resentment and even anger.

2. Intentionally becoming isolated
When an empath is completely overloaded, they may decide to retreat and protect themselves from further sensory inputs. This can help to relax and restore your vitality, but isolating yourself can be a dangerous coping mechanism.

Isolation can become an easy solution, which may have a negative impact on other areas of your life. So if you spot this sign of compassion fatigue, try to find a way to be open and share your feelings with those closest to you. Seek help, rather than shutting yourself away from the world.

3. Unusual extreme emotional sensitivity to media
Having experienced emotional exhaustion, it is likely that if you have these signs of compassion fatigue, your emotions and nerves will become frayed, fragile, temperamental and prone to extreme reactions at the slightest provocation.


A quick to spot the signs of compassion fatigue is having a severe reaction that is completely out of character caused by a minor influence, such as a slightly sad book, movie or TV show.

4. Feeling physically and emotionally exhausted
It stands to reason that if your senses simply cannot cope with more emotional burdens, this will quickly begin to impact all areas of your health. Feeling extreme tiredness and exhaustion with no identifiable reason is an indication of compassion fatigue.

If you feel tired and disengaged with no reasonable reason, you may continue to feel this way until you unburden yourself of the load you carry.

5. Acting out of character and struggling to maintain close relationships
Any empath experiencing the signs of compassion fatigue will struggle to behave and act as they normally would. Their emotions and feelings are very fragile and cannot manage any additional senses to deal with.

This can lead to a lack of communication with loved ones, an urgent need to be left alone and create an isolated space. This can ultimately cause hurt and distance between you and those you love.
What to do if you are struggling with compassion fatigue

The first step to recovering is to acknowledge that you are struggling. Being able to identify unusual behaviours that are out of character can be the initial path to recognising the triggers for such changes.

Making a connection with your empathetic nature and appreciating and understanding both the qualities this affords you, and the pressure it puts you under, is crucial. Once you understand and reflect on yourself as an empath, it becomes much easier to identify why outside factors are having a damaging impact on your health and well-being.

If you are experiencing the signs of compassion fatigue, you need to take stock. It might be that you are not showing yourself enough self-care. You could be leaving yourself exposed to exterior emotional stressors that are too much for you to cope with.

One of the hardest things for an empath to do is to take a step back, and be able to prioritise their own well-being. However, if you see signs of compassion fatigue, you must look after yourself first, before you considering dedicating your time or emotional resources to help others.

Having recognised signs of compassion fatigue, the absolute worst thing you can do is to ignore it. This condition will not go away by itself. By failing to balance your emotions, you are not allowing yourself the capacity to stabilise.

It may be that counselling or other support will help. As an empath, it can be hard to explain to others who don’t have an understanding of how deeply you are affected by your surroundings.

Decompress and talk through your emotions first. Then implement practical emotional tools to manage your health. These are essential to moving forward in an enlightened way, without losing the part of yourself which makes you unique.
 

 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com
 
 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
Free counters!

  geoglobe1
 
 
publicado por achama às 02:46
Sábado, 14 / 12 / 19

Why Having the Last Word Is So Important for Some People & How to Handle Them

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted December 13, 2019.

 

 

Having the last word for some people means winning the argument. Whilst this clearly isn’t always true, it is a frustrating trait that applies to more than just Wikipedia!

It is worth remembering that the person who wins the debate is not necessarily the person who shouts the loudest, or gets in the last word.

Often a person with this personality is likely to be an egomaniac or bordering on being one. An egomaniac can be defined as a person who is obsessively self-centred or egotistical.

Why do egomaniacs feel the need to have the last word?

There are many reasons people behave as they do. Trying to understand the psyche behind aggressive behaviourscan help to plan your course of action if you regularly deal with people who insist on always having the last word.

Insecurity:

Somebody who lacks confidence or self-esteem may try to assert themselves in other ways, by expressing himself or herself in a forceful way. This is a familiar scenario in bullying, where often the aggressor is a victim in another way.

Should this be the possible reason for their insistence on having the last word, trying to discuss your differences with sensitivity might help to reach a peaceful outcome. They probably need to be heard more strongly than they need to feel validated.

Arrogance:

A person with extreme arrogance may genuinely not be able to accept that they might be incorrect, or that another person’s opinion is equally as valid as their own. This is an unfortunate trait to have, and it may be that an extremely arrogant person simply isn’t worth arguing within any circumstance.
Egocentricity:

Some people simply need to be the centre of attention, and will argue black is white in order to keep the spotlight. This can occur for lots of reasons; they might feel ignored in their home life, or feel impotent in other areas of their social or professional relationships.

If a person is unreasonable simply for attention, it isn’t wise to stroke their ego. You will only find yourself drawn into their appeals for attention, and may be supporting their egocentricity by doing so.

Power:

Having the last word can be perceived as powerful, often by people who lack assertiveness in other areas of their lives. This is a difficult scenario to deal with, as you are the unwitting recipient of their onslaught that is enforcing their own feelings of control and power.

Try not to be drawn into a debate with this person; they will do their utmost to drive you down for their own self-esteem.

Anger:

Refusal to debate calmly can be a reaction to feelings of anger, and shouting down an opponent is a way to express their feelings. In this situation, it may be best to revisit the discussion when the other person has had time to calm down. Otherwise, debating with an angry opponent could quickly turn into a volatile situation.

Dominance:

As with power, a person who feels the innate need to dominate others or to establish their seniority may do so by insisting they have the final word in any conversation. A scenario most likely to exist in the workplace, people can try to demonstrate their dominance over peers or colleagues by forcing them to concede an argument.

In this situation, you need to reinforce your own self-esteem, and perhaps have a third party step in. Don’t be crushed by another person’s drive to control your actions; make sure your voice is heard even when you are speaking quietly.

How should you deal with an egomaniac, and is there any way to have a productive debate?

When you are having a discussion with somebody who refuses to listen, it is wise to choose not to continue the conversation. This might sound counterproductive, but channelling energy and time into a scenario that is never going to have a mutually agreeable outcome is not a worthwhile investment.

If an opponent makes the decision to step away from the debate, this can entirely diffuse the situation. You are not obliged to continue a dialogue that makes you feel uncomfortable. Nor is it your sole responsibility to change the mind of a person who refuses to listen to reason.

Take a step back. There is a better chance that your arguments will mature over time and that any valid points you have made will remain in their thought process and perhaps inform behaviour in time.

Keep your own poise

Feeling frustrated is understandable. If you are trying to reach an agreement in a fruitless discussion, you might feel embattled and try ever more strenuously to communicate your perspective.

If a debate is continuing to escalate, at some point this needs to end before it turns into a heated exchange which is a negative experience for all involved.

In order to de-escalate a tense situation, you might do well to agree to disagree. You don’t ever have to agree with something which you feel is wrong or incorrect, but you can express your acceptance of another person’s point of view without having to concede that you are not right.

Silence speaks volumes

Don’t feel drawn or forced into an impossible discussion. If you know that you are dealing with an egomaniac that has no intention of considering another perspective, you can decide not to engage in the conversation.

Being the bigger person isn’t always the easiest course of action, but may save your headspace from becoming bogged down with an argument that you were never going to win.

Particularly in contentious circumstances (politics springs straight to mind!) it might be wiser to say nothing at all and keep your peace.
References:
  1. Psychology Today
  2. Your Tango
 

 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 04:07
Quarta-feira, 20 / 11 / 19

4 Self-Love Exercises to Practice Daily That Will Help You Accept Yourself

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted November 19, 2019.

 

 

We live in a world of exhaustive personal analysis and constant comparisons. As a result, it is more important than ever to dedicate time to reinforce a positive relationship with yourself and your body. This is where self-love exercises can be beneficial.
Why Is Self-Love Important?
The tone of your internal thoughts and the way in which you communicate with yourself are important. In the first place, they dictate the way in which you relate to the wider world. Secondly, they determine your emotional ability to manage challenging situations.

Therefore, it is essential to create a peaceful, optimistic and creative atmosphere in your own mindset. This allows you to empower yourself to feel capable, and at harmony with your body.
4 Self-Love Exercises

Here are four self-love exercises which you can practise in the comfort of your own home. These exercises will help you begin a journey of self-love and self-acceptance, as well as general harmony and peace. Or to continue your pathway to finding true self-love.
1. Affirmations
Affirmations are a powerful and acknowledged way to create a positive relationship with yourself. Furthermore, they can help set the tone for the day ahead.

There are many different affirmation styles. For example, ones you can adapt to target any challenges you may be dealing with. On the other hand, you can use them to help create the tone and positivity you need to manage a particular task. This might be a job interview or a situation that may be causing feelings of anxiety.

To practise affirmations, you can adopt verbal affirmations, write them down, or join these with a stance to reinforce the message. The practice is to affirm a statement or mindset which you wish to adopt. Then repeat the message to yourself in a peaceful environment. This is so you can absorb the message you are delivering.
These could include statements such as:
I am enough. This is a powerful affirmation to banish self-doubt. It will establish in your subconscious that you have the tools and resources to meet your challenges.
I can…. achieve this/succeed. This is a useful affirmation when facing a challenge or obstacle. It helps to communicate that you are capable of your goal.

Physical affirmation stances are a way of reinforcing the message you are delivering to yourself. This could be any stance that makes you feel powerful. In other words, a positive self-love exercise that allows you to combine your emotional wellbeing with a physically powerful posture.
Examples of affirmation stances include:
Superman/superwomen stance: standing tall, chin held high, arms on hips or raised above your held.
Power stance: chest held proud, chin high, standing to your full height.

Physical affirmations work well in front of a mirror and repeating verbally your affirmation message. Combine these with a stance helps to deliver the affirming and positive message throughout your mind and body.

Written affirmations are another form of affirmation as a self-love exercise. You could try leaving a message somewhere you are likely to see it often. For example, on the front door or the cooker. So each time you leave the house or cook a meal you are affirming to honour yourself with healthy dietary habits.

2. Keeping a journal
Writing a journal is one of the simplest, yet most effective self-love exercises. It helps in various ways:
You can track your emotions and challenges.
It allows you to identify situations or dynamics which trigger negative feelings or responses.
You can also engage with the positivity you have experienced every day.

With busy lives, we all often forget to take note of the small positives. As such, taking the time to note all the good things which have happened in a day can be uplifting. It is a good way to help engage with positive memories on one of our more difficult days.

With this in mind, take the time to read back through a journal each week. Then we can see how all the positives reinforces our perception of how much happiness is around us if we only stop to take note.

Choose a journal in any format which you are most comfortable with. This might take the form of making notes on your mobile phone, it might be written down by hand – whatever you choose. Remember, writing in your journal is intended to be something just for you. Therefore, it should be a true and honest account of your experiences to allow you to reflect.

Your journal could be a design that speaks to you with an image, colour or pattern. Something you find soothing, creative, or which makes you smile.

Try writing down one positive thing every day. It could be as small as hearing a bird singing, a stranger smiling at you in a shop, or someone stopping to let you out of a junction. All these small positives add up to a greater understanding of the energies surrounding us.
3. Physical exercise
Physical exercise provides multiple benefits to our wellbeing. It is beneficial both physically and mentally. It doesn’t matter whether you take up gentle yoga, low impact swimming, or a more intensive form of exercise. Any form of exercise is an excellent tool in practising self-love.

Physical exercise is beneficial in many ways:
It can help you to appreciate what your body can do.
Of what your body is capable of achieving.
You can set small goals and challenges for yourself.
You can feel positive about your achievements.
It can also open up opportunities to engage in a social setting with other people.
You’ll form a sense of community around an exercise that you enjoy.

Endorphins are chemicals released in our bodies during exercise and are a powerful way of alleviating anxiety. However, some people do not feel comfortable exercising in a group setting. Or they find the idea of practising physical self-love exercises challenging. If this is you, you could try a low impact exercise such as yoga. You do not need any specialist equipment for it and you can practise in your own home.
Yoga is a peaceful and low impact way of connecting with yourself.

Moreover, it is probably one of the best self-love exercises as it aligns the emotional and physical aspects of our being.

There are many videos and guides online which can help with ideas of poses to try, and showing different exercise options available. So, if you are new to physical exercise there are plenty of resources and guides to help you get started. The exercise you choose should be scaled to your abilities and be something that you enjoy and find a positive experience.

The goals you set yourself can be simple. For example, swimming an extra length, or learning a new pose. These are objectives that you can scale to your abilities and physical strengths. Then you’ll be able to experience the joy of learning something new and meeting a personal target. Noting these successes in your journal is a great way to practise self-love and be able to remind yourself of all you can achieve.
4. Alone time

Alone time can mean many things; meditating, taking a bath, reading a book, drinking a cup of tea, or simply being still and mindful. Meditation is an excellent self-love exercise. In addition, it is an exceptional way to connect with your inner dialogue. You can stop and take time to exist in a meaningful state of being, present in the time and moment.

Any form of alone time is a time of peace, self-reflection. It is a time which you set aside for yourself to exist in your own being without any interruptions or interactions with the outside world. Taking some time to reflect, consider your day, and listen to your emotions.

Understand how you are feeling at that moment is a powerful process for generating self-love. Then, giving yourself the time and attention you require to ensure you are responding to your own needs.

Often nature is the ideal environment for mindful alone time. For instance, sitting in a quiet outdoor space and listening to the sounds of nature around you. Try finding somewhere quiet, neither too hot nor too cold. Then, shut your eyes, and ask yourself how you feel at that moment.

There is no ‘best’ way to spend time with yourself but creating space for your inner dialogue acknowledges you as a person. Furthermore, it is a great way to show yourself self-love.
Final Thoughts

You could argue that all the above self-love exercises are beneficial in their own ways. But perhaps the best way we exercise self-love is simply to be kind to ourselves.

References:
 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle

 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
Free counters!

  geoglobe1
 
 
publicado por achama às 09:52
A Luz está a revelar a Verdade, e esta libertar-nos-á! -Só é real o AMOR Incondicional. -Quando o Amor superar o amor pelo poder, o mundo conhecerá a Paz; Jimi Hendrix. -Somos almas a ter uma experiência humana!

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