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Terça-feira, 25 / 06 / 19

How to Practice Modern Stoicism and Why It Will Make You Happier ~ Janey Davies.

How to Practice Modern Stoicism and Why It Will Make You Happier.

By Janey Davies.

June 25th, 2019.

 
 

 



 

Just one glance at the internet and you’ll be deluged with posts promising to reveal the secrets of everlasting happiness. But actually, there is no mystery to being happy, and modern stoicism can show you why.
The word stoic suggests a longsuffering, patient, tolerant person that bears their burden without complaint. However, to imply that this is the route to happiness would be completely wrong. The theory behind modern stoicism is simple.

What Is Modern Stoicism?

In life, we cannot control everything so we should focus on the things we can and accept what we cannot change.
Modern stoicism originates from the Stoics who were ancient philosophers living in Greece. These wise men argued that in order to live happier lives we should decide what things we can change and what we cannot.
Once we have distinguished between the two, we can work at changing what is within our power to do so. Then it is easier to accept what we cannot change as part of life. This might sound like airy-fairy nonsense, but it does make a lot of sense when you consider what is actually under our control.
What can’t we control?
  • What people think of us.
  • Our own bodies.
  • The environment
  • What people do.
What can we control?
  • How we think about all of the above.
  • What judgments we make about those thoughts.

There are two basic principles:

We can’t control everything in life. All we can control is how we think about what happens and the judgments we make, based on these thoughts. And this is where it gets interesting. The ancient Greeks believed that it is not actual things that cause us unhappiness but how we think about them.
When something happens, we make a judgment about it. If we think the thing is bad, we feel upset or angry or grief. It all depends on what the thing is, on how we have perceived and judged it. However, this same thing might not upset another person, indeed, it might even be a joyous event for someone else.
For example, take a World Cup final. The winning team’s fans will be rejoicing. The losers will feel real pain and grief. If you’re not interested in football, you won’t be affected at all.
So, the important thing to remember is that whatever judgment we add to our thoughts gives the thing value. Moreover, it is this value that produces our emotion. The good thing is that we have control over these judgments. Whatever happens, whether it is good or bad, we can decide what value we assign to them. That value will then affect our emotions.
Likewise, this emotion can be happiness or sadness or anything we choose to feel. So while we may have no control over what happens to us, we do have complete control over how we feel about what happens to us. Consequently, we are in control of our happiness.

So how does stoicism work in the modern world?

 

Figure out what’s really important

 
Many people lust after wealth, fame, power, status, but the reality is that few of us are going to attain these things. As a result, a lot of us are going to end up miserable because we haven’t achieved these goals. So why do we value these things? At the end of the day, most of us just want to be comfortable, healthy, have good friends and no stresses or worries.
Consider why you want these meaningless trappings? Is it to impress other people? Perhaps the media tells you that in order to be happy, you have to have the fastest car, the nicest watch, the latest designer dress. Do what makes you happy, not what others tell you.

It’s not about self-belief or positive thinking

 
Consider this scenario; you’ve decided to scale Mount Everest. You’re setting off with no strategy, equipment, guides and you’re unfit. Now, no amount of self-belief or positive thinking is going to get you to the top of that mountain. Modern stoicism is about setting realistic goals that are right for you and that are achievable.
You hear a lot of stories of successful business people where determination and positive thinking was the key to their success. They never gave up and it was their dogged self-belief that spurred them on. But when you consider that 9 out of 10 start-ups fail, it’s obviously not about believing in yourself. It’s about getting the right idea in the first place.

Distinguish whether the situation is under your control or not

 
If something is starting to bother you, try and distinguish whether it is one of those things that’s under your control or not. Think about this as a line that divides the actions of anything that’s out of your control on one side, and your thoughts about those actions on the other side. Then whatever is bothering you, place it either side of the line. Now, you’ve distinguished which one it is, is there anything you can do about it?
For example, a shop assistant is rude to you in the store. You immediately feel angry, but you can’t control the assistant’s actions. Perhaps they are busy and under stress? What you can dois complain about their behaviour to their manager, or you can ask them to explain their rude behaviour.
By dividing what you can control and can’t takes the pressure off you. It removes emotion from situations. It’s actually very freeing. It’s not about letting people off the hook for being rude or aggressive, it’s more about living your life without the pressure of feeling responsible for everything that happens in the world.
My final point is that if you want to start practising modern stoicism, every morning, think about the day ahead, the possible traps you might encounter. Just be ready for them and remember that you can’t control everything, but you can control how you feel about things.
 
References:
  1. http://www.bbc.com
  2. https://www.independent.co.uk
 

 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

About the Author: Janey Davies.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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publicado por achama às 21:12
Quinta-feira, 20 / 06 / 19

9 Signs of a Truly Independent Person: Are You One? ~ Sherrie, learning-mind.

9 Signs of a Truly Independent Person: Are You One?

By Sherrie.

June 20th, 2019

 

Being an independent person doesn’t come from living an easy life. The trials of life make you stronger.

I get angry sometimes when things go wrong. I sometimes lose hope when past hardships repeat themselves over and over. But I think this happens because there is yet something we’re meant to learn. I also think these trials can make prosperous. This means, no matter how hard it gets, I know I can be an independent person.

How strong and independent are you?

Being an independent and strong person comes with a price sometimes. We build walls when experiencing hurt after hurt. The callouses that form over pain and abuse can also leave us a bit insensitive to the feelings of others.
However, that’s not how we all work, or how we should strive to be. Some of us become independent without losing the ability to open up. That’s the focus of our strength.

Anyway, here are signs that you could be an independent type of person. Or maybe someone you know has these traits.

1. You can live alone

Being independent means you can live alone. You don’t need the help of others to survive, and you always find a way to stay financially stable.
You also have no need for occupying the same spaces with other people, unless of course, you want to. You’re so good with yourself that living alone is actually preferable at times.

2. You’re a future planner

While many people say “live in the moment”, an independent and solid person will always plan for times to come. They see the big picture and not the temporary high of present fun and companionship.
I will say it’s good to enjoy each day, but it’s also important to save for the future. Independent people are perfectionists at planning for the future.

3. Saying ‘no’ isn’t hard

For some, saying no is difficult, especially if they are afraid of hurting the people close to them. For dependent people, saying yes, and going along with things is easier than mustering the strength to decline.
People of an independent nature can easily say no and not even give an explanation for their answer. They are bold and present an attitude that says, “I’m saying no just because I want to.”. Do you see?

4. It’s hard to ask for help

Asking for help isn’t hard for some, but for independent and stubborn people, they hate charity. To independent individuals, asking for help means weakness.
Being weak cannot be a part of their plans, for present or for the future. To them, it may even be a sign that they cannot make it on their own if they ask for help.

5. You have few friends

When you’re independent, you have fewer friends than most people. Truth be told, this is because you spend time with people expecting nothing in return.
Now, I don’t know how true this is for everybody, but many of those with many friends often expect favors and help. Since you’re independent, you only see friends as companions. Choosing your friends in this manner helps you realize who you truly appreciate and love.

6. You have an unshakable self-worth

When you’ve become an independent person, you won’t have to get validation from other people. No matter how many insults they use, you will still know who you really are. You will see your value, your beauty, and your loyalty, and nothing can change this.
Of course, there may be times when you’re shaken momentarily, but you bounce back. This helps you see the one who insults you for who they really are. You will know this independent individual by their resilience in the face of adversity.

7. You go out alone

Most of the time, you will go out alone. You love to shop for things alone because you can go and leave as you please. You even like to eat at restaurants alone sometimes.
Being alone in public feels good to you, and it doesn’t leave you empty. You don’t have to socialize with friends out on the town, but you can still have a conversation with people who are already there. It’s an interesting trait.

8. You can lead

When independent, you can take the lead and get difficult things done. You will notice both men and women taking charge of difficult situations, and this usually means they are pretty independent of others.
Sometimes men are intimidated by women who take charge, but unfortunately, this is because they are usually the dependent sort. Strong men aren’t intimidated, they rather help strong women succeed. This can be seen the other way around too but in a slightly different aspect.

9. You’re financially independent

Yes, we already know the independent sort are people who live alone, and they are also those who refuse help. Well, if, for some reason, an independent person just happens to owe money, say for car payments or other financed things, they will most certainly be on time and try to pay off the debt as soon as possible.
They hate owing people anything. It feels like independence is being taken away when you have to borrow money against something.

Being truly independent

There’s a reason people act the way they do. Some are born independent while others grow into these strong individuals because of past trauma or life-long hardship. They’ve learnedtheir own value and potential. An independent person is one of the most exemplary types of human beings to ever exist, and I attain to become more like this as I grow.
Are you an independent one? Do you strive to become more independent? If so, you must take heed if you wish to become more independent that you don’t lose your ability to feel emotions.
If you’re not careful, you can build walls while building your confidence and strength. Here again, as with many other aspects of life, I think balance is the key. So, go forth and conquer.
References:
  1. https://www.theodysseyonline.com
  2. https://www.lifehack.org

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 



About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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publicado por achama às 19:56
Terça-feira, 11 / 06 / 19

Karl Marx’s Conflict Theory and What It Reveals about Today’s Society ~ Janey Davies.

Karl Marx’s Conflict Theory and What It Reveals about Today’s Society.

By Janey Davies.

June 10th, 2019.

 
 

 



 

Brexit has caused deep divisions in households in the UK. In France, the ‘gilets jaunes’ are threatening to bring the country to a standstill over rising fuel costs. Can conflict theory help us understand why?
If you’ve noticed that the world seems to be getting a lot less tolerant these days, then conflict theory might have the answer.

What Is Conflict Theory?

Its premise is simple. Developed by Karl Marx, it suggests that society exists in a perpetual state of conflict, rather than harmony.
This is because we are all competing for the same, finite resources. In other words, for each social resource, there is a potential for conflict.
Marx stated that the wealthy in society will always protect their resources and keep them hidden away. The poor will try and obtain wealth using any means necessary.
As a result, there is a constant struggle between these two groups – the rich and the poor. Both individuals and groups within society will strive to benefit themselves over others.
Karl Marx conflict theory
Main Points of Conflict Theory:
  • Limited resources lead to competition between groups in society.
  • These groups are the rich ruling class or the poor working class.
  • The competition is usually economic or social with the ruling class dominating over the working class.
Let’s explore each of the main points in more detail.

1. Competition for resources

There are three types of resource that cause conflict:
  1. Economic resources
  2. Power resources
  3. Status resources
The most obvious resource in society is money. Wealth frees you from stress, worry, it provides you with a better life, more choices.
We all know what money can give us. Money buys you a big house. The opportunity to live in a nice area. The chance to go to a good school, to get a good education. Once you have good qualifications, you can get a better job. This perpetuates the circle of wealth.
Of course, resources don’t just include money. They are also those intangible things like time and social status. For example, a poor, working-class woman in a coercive relationship is not going to have the same opportunities as a single man with rich parents.
Therefore, it is important to understand that there are different types of struggles for resources.

2. The types of groups competing

Marx suggested two types of groups involved in the competition for resources.
  • The wealthy, the ruling class or the bourgeoisie.
  • The poor, working class or the proletariat.
The bourgeoisie account for a very small percentage of the population, but they have the power and resources. As a result, they use this power to influence and dominate the larger majority of the proletariat.
This is the pyramid theory in which a small group at the top control the power of all the other members of society below them. They achieve this in several ways. They take control of the media, they focus attention away from themselves and they will target minority groups for society’s problems.

3. Types of competition – economic and social

interpersonal conflict
So the two groups are the rich and the poor and they are competing for wealth, but they are also competing on a social level too. So what does that mean?
Take the relationship between an employer and a worker. The employer can keep wages stagnating for years, cut worker’s benefits, freeze overtime and stop pay rises. All the worker has is his or her labour to sell as a commodity. They don’t own the factory or the business. They are at the whim of the owners.
Ultimately, the owners want to get the most out of their workers with it costing them the least amount. The same applies to a tenant and a landlord. Their relationship in society is unequal. The landlord wants the most they can get for the property, no matter how nice their tenants are. Therefore there will always be conflict.

Conflict in today’s world

German sociologist Max Weber expanded on Marx’s theory. He suggested that people would be affected on many more levels, which included gender, race, education, class and social mobility. He also inferred that some might not be affected at all. Others might be influenced by the very people in power over them.
For example, if a popular leader made unpopular decisions, how would the masses react? It’s possible they would react favourably. So it’s safe to say that this theory is multi-layered and dependant on many factors, not just class and wealth.

Conflict and the Gilets Jaunes

So are we any closer to explaining the polarised views of Brexit or the protests in France? Well, yes. If the interests of an opposing group become too oppressive, then the opposed group will mobilise.
They will share a sense of belonging and social membership. They’ll create boundaries between those who belong and those don’t. Some will feel so incensed that they’ll take action.
In fact, the conflict itself tends to create a sense of solidarity and pull in others who might not ordinarily join the fight. We can see this with the gilets jaunes of France.
What began as a peaceful protest against a rise in fuel tax has now morphed into something completely different. Not only that but it has grown into a much larger anti-government movement. The protesters believe that you are either with them or against them.

Conflict and Brexit

As for Brexit, the result of the UK referendum is still a huge cause for arguments in Britain. People’s emotions are highly charged. There’s a lot of black and white thinking on this subject.
Those who voted Remain believe they are right and so do those who voted Leave. Moreover, neither will listen to opposing views. With such a small difference in the result of the Leave vote (4%), you’d think people in the UK could find some common ground.
But no. We cement our own ideologies as the truth and the way forward all the while demonising our opponents. We’ve become self-righteous and feel completely justified in our actions. What we don’t realise is that we have now become as bad as our oppressors.

How to Use Conflict Theory to Resolve Disagreements

So let’s apply the theory to human relationships and problems. What we can agree on is that the most important factor is a sense of inequality. Remember the inequality can be real or imagined, it could have happened a minute ago or be centuries old.
  • Conflict is not a contest. If you go into an argument to win at all costs, you are not going to resolve the conflict.
  • Look at the problem from the other person’s perspective. This means putting yourself in their shoes.
  • Find out the root of the inequality. Is it financial, a question of time, education, insecurity?
  • Be open-minded about resolutions and solutions. Your partner or colleague might have an idea of how to resolve the conflict.
  • Listen to the other person. When people feel listened to and validated they are more likely to open up and the level of trust increases.
  • Leave emotion out. Be matter-of-fact when discussing a possible solution. Conflict increases when emotions rise.
  • Focus on the problem, not the person. It helps to take the personality out of the equation and keep your attention on the source of the conflict.
  • Don’t criticise, respect. Nothing shuts down a conversation more than criticism. However, showing respect does the opposite.
We can’t eliminate conflict from our world. But we can change the way we deal with it. This theory shows us that understanding the reasons behind conflict will help us negotiate our waythrough it more effectively.
References:
  1. https://www.investopedia.com
  2. http://www.csun.edu
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

About the Author: Janey Davies.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 14:47
Sábado, 25 / 05 / 19

Signs Asperger’s Syndrome Could Be the Next Stage of Human Evolution ~ Janey Davies.

Signs Asperger’s Syndrome Could Be the Next Stage of Human Evolution.

By Janey Davies.

May 24th, 2019.

 

 



 

Asperger’s Syndrome is a disorder characterized by poor social skills – however, some believe there are signs it will contribute to our evolution.
Before I explain why, I’d like to tell you a story. Years ago, I worked for a government office that dealt with sick leave and benefits payments. One of my jobs was to work out when a person could start receiving benefits.

A person would receive 28 weeks of Statutory Sick Pay (SSP) paid by the employer, after which they could start getting benefits. The problem was it was a really tricky date to work out. 28 weeks included weekends and many of us got the start date for benefit wrong.

However, there was one guy in our office who, if you gave him the start date of SSP, could tell you in a nanosecond the exact date 28 weeks later. He never got it wrong. He was also amazing with birth and death dates of kings and queens, battle dates. Actually, come to think of it, any history date.

But, he wasn’t good socially. He didn’t ‘get’ jokes, he had no sense of humour and he struggled in social situations. Now I think about him I realise he probably had the signs of Asperger’s.
What Are the Signs of Asperger’s Syndrome?


So what exactly is Asperger’s Syndrome? Asperger’s is characterized by difficulties in social interactions and trouble in processing nonverbal language. A person with Asperger’s will have problems reading social cuesand find comfort in repeating patterns or behaviours.
Lorna Wing, M.D., was an English psychiatrist who introduced the term ‘Asperger’s Syndrome’. She divided Asperger’s signs into three key areas:
  1. Speech: One-sided conversations, sometimes pedantic, focused on one particular subject of interest to the person with Asperger’s, monotonous intonation, repetitive speech.
  2. Nonverbal communication: Inability to understand facial expressions, a lack of facial expressions themselves, cannot comprehend other’s expressions or gestures.
  3. Social interaction: Does not understand unwritten rules of social behaviour, acts inappropriately, e.g. proximity to others, stares for too long, says the wrong things, wears the wrong clothes, responds in the wrong way. Has a lack of empathy for others. Inability to form friendships or relationships.
For example, my friend’s child gets extremely upset if he does not have his meals served in a particular purple bowl every day. He cannot eat his food if any of it is touching the other food in the bowl and he has to know in advance what he is eating.
But how can being poorly equipped to deal with social situations and insisting on a purple bowl for lunchtimes aid human evolution?

Why Asperger’s Could Be the Next Stage of Human Evolution

Well, it’s all to do with intelligence. As well as having certain impairments, people with Asperger’s show signs of skills in particular areas of intelligence.
For example, they tend to have extremely good memories, which allows them to learn by rote. Their habit of becoming interested in one or two subjects gives this amazing memory full capacity to absorb every minute detail. They become experts in one specialized field.
And this is where it gets interesting. In the past, you would call men like this one thing – geeks. However, nowadays, these so-called ‘geeks’ are responsible for some of the biggest tech companies, social media platforms, and communication industries on the planet.
And the great thing about these men geeks (and they usually are men) is that in today’s society, they get to meet incredibly bright and socially-capable women. These so-called geeks hook up with socially-adept women and produce intelligent but socially-aware offspring.
Just think about the kinds of people we are talking about.

Famous People Who Show Signs of Asperger’s Syndrome

Thomas Jefferson

Founding Father and third president of the United States, Jefferson was a shy man that mumbled and walked around with a mocking bird on his shoulder. However, he did write the Declaration of Independence in one go.
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
Mozart wrote his first symphony at the age of five and went onto write over 600 pieces. Reports of the time state that he was woefully impaired when it came to social interaction. He also had trouble expressing his emotions to others.

Michelangelo

Michelangelo’s incredible concentration makes him a candidate for Asperger’s syndrome. Not only was he obsessive over his work, but he was also completely unable to show emotion. His extraordinary memory allowed him to retain sketches for the Sistine Chapel.
“Michelangelo was aloof and a loner. Like the architect John Nash (1752-1835), who also had high-functioning autism, he had few friends.” Dr Arshad and Prof Fitzgerald

Albert Einstein

What sort of brain do you need to work out the theory of relativity? Einstein is considered to be one of the greatest scientists of all time, but he did show signs of Asperger’s.
He had trouble recognising social cues but was able to narrowly focus his attention to solve one of our greatest scientific mysteries.

Charles Darwin

Darwin’s fascination with insects, shells and categorizing indicates he had Asperger’s. The man responsible for changing the way we view evolution was prone to bouts of solitude and obsessed with nature.

Sir Isaac Newton

Newton may have developed the theory of gravity but by all accounts, he was a vindictive, unforgiving, calculating, quick-tempered and petty man. All signs of Asperger’s.

Woody Allen

Woody Allen makes neurotic films and has admitted to sharing neurotic traitshimself:
“I am a neurotic in a more benign way. I mean I have a lot of neurotic habits. I don’t like to go into elevators, I don’t go through tunnels, I like the drain in the shower to be in the corner and not in the middle.”

Tim Burton

The famed film director Tim Burton was watching a documentary about autismand said to his long-term partner Helena Bonham-Carter that was how he felt as a child.

Chris Packham

Chris Packham is a British naturalist who has a remarkable breadth of knowledge on the natural world and wildlife. Despite having Asperger’s, he has carved out a successful career on TV.

Mark Zuckerberg

The founder of Facebook has been described as a ‘robot’, he wears the same ‘uniform’ of a grey t-shirt and jeans every day so he doesn’t have to worry about what to wear. However, his company is worth around $230 billion.

So why is it that someone with signs of Asperger’s is likely to do well?

What is it about this condition that makes a person so successful? There’s the intelligence side of it, of course, but also, some experts now believe it is the actual lack of social skills that is a contributing factor.
Think about it for a moment. You have an idea that you think will make millions, but in your normal everyday life, you feel constricted by societal rulesand unspoken boundaries. You don’t want to speak out for fear of ridicule, or people thinking you are over-reaching or narcissistic.
But the person who has Asperger’s has none of these boundariesThey don’t follow society’s rules. They are not even aware of them. As a result, they just go right ahead, pitch their ideas and get on with the job.
Tech investor Peter Thiel believes we could all benefit from a little touch of Asperger’s.
“We need to ask what is it about our society where those of us who do not suffer from Asperger’s are at some massive disadvantage because we will be talked out of our interesting, original, creative ideas before they’re even fully formed.”
My final point is that these days, we are all spending more time on our smartphones, our computers, laptops, and in the artificial world. As such, our social interaction is gradually being reduced.
Therefore, being able to connect socially might not be such a big deal in the decades to come anyway. Perhaps it’s time for those with signs of Asperger’s to shine.
References:
  1. https://www.forbes.com
  2. https://medium.com
  3. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
 
 

 

 

 

About the Author: Janey Davies.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 05:46
Quinta-feira, 23 / 05 / 19

Personality Color: What Your Favorite Color Reveals about Your Personality ~ Janey Davies.

Personality Color: 

What Your Favorite Color Reveals about Your Personality.

By Janey Davies.

May 22nd, 2019.

 

 



 

Do you have a favorite color? Do you realize that color can reveal aspects of your personality?
Take a look at your wardrobe. Is it full of one particular color? Do you gravitate to one or two colors and never wear certain shades?
Colors have a strong psychological effect on our minds and can influence those around us. But what can your favorite color tell you about your personality? If you have a preference for one particular color, then you might be revealing more than you know:

Personality and Color

RED

Red symbolizes the blood, the very essence of life. As such, if you love the color red, you are optimistic, you love life and live it to the full. You are ambitious, intense, strong-willed and energetic.
You can be competitive and will work hard to reach your goals. You love to be the center of attention and are the alphas of this world. Those that love the color red like to lead from the front. However, you can be dogged and aggressive in your pursuits.

ORANGE

Orange is a very social color but one associated with youth. You could say that this color is a free spirit that is also the life and soul of the party.
You love to bring people together, but taking responsibility is not your forte. You’d rather leave that to the grown-ups. You are gregarious and don’t have a bad bone in you. Non-judgemental, you like people until they give you a reason not to.

YELLOW

Yellow is the color of sunshine and suggests optimism and warmth. People who like this color are also critical thinkers. This is because the logical left side of the brain responds to the color yellow.
As a result, if you love yellow, you will also be good at solving problems. The color yellow is all about knowledge and learning. But not only gathering new information but being able to communicate this information onto others.
You are an independent person that tends to have a few very close friends.

PINK

Pink is the color of romance. Just think of Marilyn Monroe in that scene ‘Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend’ when she wore that stunning pink dress.
Pink is a genuinely feminine color and represents the feminine aspects of one’s personality. It is gentle and innocent and those that favor it seek affection, love, acceptance and kindness.
It has a childlike quality to it which indicates a need for protection. This color represents the true romantics who believe in unconditional and uncomplicated love.

PURPLE

The color purple is associated with spirituality, wealth and royalty, but if it is your favorite color, it is an indication of creativity. You are a unique individual that dances to the beat of your own drum.
You are unconventional and don’t care what others think. You can be highly opinionated and believe in the welfare of others.
Often those who like this color are involved in humanitarian causes because it is associated with a more mature personality and a higher spiritual understanding. However, be careful not to come across as holier than thou.

BLUE

There’s a reason why uniforms are often in blue and that is because blue is a harmonious color associated with tradition and order. If you like this color, then you prefer stability and organized life. You don’t like surprises and tend to plan things in advance.
You also have strong principles that are unlikely to change throughout your life. You live a conservative lifestyle and like things to be neat and tidy. You are not the rebels in society, you are more likely to be those upholding the law, rather than breaking it.

GREEN

Green is the color of nature and if is your favorite color, then you are unlikely to live in the middle of the city. You need space around you. You value your friends and family as love is important to you.
You are loyal. Once you have made a friend, you will have them for life. Green signifies growth, life, balance and energy.
You are able to see the bigger picture and balance your life between work and leisure, family and friends. You are fair and just and as a result, people come to you for advice.

BROWN

This is a dependable color that is reliable and down-to-earth. If you have a friend that wears a lot of brown, then they are supportive and won’t let you down. They are serious and you can depend on them. Browns like the simple life and are not extravagant.

BLACK

Many people choose black as their ‘go to’ color as it is fairly neutral. But if it is your favorite color, then it means different things. In younger people, it is a sign of rebellion.
For older women, it shows a level of sophistication. Some people wear black to hide when they don’t want to be noticed. It is also considered to be a sexual color.

WHITE

White is a difficult color to wear. As such, those who do prefer it tend to like an organized life, devoid of clutter and mess. They have high standards and won’t compromise. They are also confident in their abilities. When you wear white you cannot hide any imperfections.

GREY

This is a neutral color that indicates a practical person who can compromise. Typically, those who like grey are hard workers who are conservative in their outlook. However, at times they can lack energy and confidence.
What’s your favorite color? Do you agree with the personality colors?
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://www.huffpost.com
 

 

 

 

About the Author: Janey Davies.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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publicado por achama às 17:55
Quarta-feira, 15 / 05 / 19

6 Types of People Who Love Playing the Victim and How to Deal with Them ~ Sherrie.

6 Types of People Who Love Playing the Victim and How to Deal with Them.

By Sherrie.

May 14th, 2019

 

Dealing with those who are playing the victim can be exhausting. Who exactly are these people?
It’s hard to talk about the victim mentality because many people have no idea they’re adopting it. It can be upsetting when they learn this truth.
Don’t know what it means to play the victim? Well, that’s because so many character flaws and toxic behaviors like this are seen as normal. The fact is, being a victim and having a victim mentality isn’t the same.

Who is playing the victim game?

Playing games with people’s lives is a manipulative act. People play roles in order to get what they want, or simply because of their upbringing. They may be stuck in a negative pattern due to childhood abuse, neglect, or trauma.
Here are a few types of people who tend to use the victim mentality:

1. The selfish

Those who act in a selfish manner will use the victim strategy. Sadly, when it comes to choosing others over themselves, playing the role of the victim will remove guilt when being selfish instead.
It will also make others feel sorry for them and give in to their wants and demands. Selfless people, on the other hand, try not to use the victim mentality in order to help others without putting the spotlight on their own needs. It’s just a different mindset altogether.

2. Controlling individuals

Some people absolutely must be in control no matter what’s happening in their lives. They use pity to make sure things go their way. They want to control the outcome of their lives and the people in it as well.
If they cannot control others in any other way, they will turn to playing games and playing the victim.

3. Parasitic people

Sometimes people like this understand what they are doing, and sometimes they do not. You can become a parasitic person when you’re trying to build your self-esteem off others who feel more confident.
Being the victim allows you to feed off the compliments of others which ultimately drains them. You see, when you’re a victim, you will never get enough of praise and support. You could have been a real victim in the past, and now you’re stuck in this mentality.

4. Those afraid of anger

I’ve noticed many people using the victim game because of the inability to properly deal with their anger. In some cases, they are afraid of the consequences of their anger, or maybe they’ve experienced situations where they’ve lost control, and they hate the feeling.
Either way, the victim mentality eventually replaces the ability to have healthy angry feelings and hinders the proper processing of these feelings and emotions.
Remember, it’s okay to feel anger, it’s just not okay to misuse this feeling. It’s even worse to become a perpetual victim.

5. The mentally ill

People who suffer from mental illness will often play the victim. Yes, and I have done this too. Most of the time, it’s due to feeling overwhelmed by the symptoms of the illness.
With bipolar disorder, for example, the victim mentality may come after a severe bout of mania due to the refusal to take medication. Instead of accepting the fault of not taking their medication, they may play the victim to keep from accepting responsibility for the negative actions from their illness.
No, we should never be too hard on the mentally ill, but everyone has to take a certain amount of responsibility at some point, especially when that person understands what to do.

6. Trauma survivors

While it is completely normal to feel victimized after trauma, it’s not normal to hold onto being a victim forever. You must remind yourself, or remind your loved ones, that enduring traumaand healing makes you a survivor and no longer a victim.
This, like the case of mental illness, is a sensitive topic, so tread lightly when trying to help others. Also, be kind to yourself, if this is you, but also keep trying to restructure and rebuild your life.

Dealing with the victim mentality

If you’re the one playing the role of victim, you must look within. What are your inner voices saying to you? Are you telling yourself that life isn’t fair to you? If so, there are probably other statements you’re using to justify your behavior.
You have to stop the negative voices. I know how hard this can be, but you can take one small step at a time. Practice turning those statements around into powerful assertions which help build your self-esteem. You don’t have to play the victim in order to solve a problem. It just seems like the easier way out.
If the one who is stuck in playing these patterns is your loved one or friend, then helping them transform their inner dialogue will help a bit.
You must understand, however, that changing thought patterns and inner statements will have to be done by the one who thinks these things. So, have patience if you’re willing to help.
Stand firm. Let your friends and loved ones know that you will not be taken for granted by victimizing behavior. While it’s okay to help people heal, it’s not okay to destroy yourself in the process.
I hope this has helped you understand what playing the role of victim means and who does this. Now, that you know, you can tackle this situation properly and take back control of your own life. I wish you well in your endeavors to be a better person and help others do the same.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://www.lifehack.org

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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publicado por achama às 07:47
Sábado, 11 / 05 / 19

8 CBT Techniques for Anxiety That Will Calm Your Anxious Mind

8 CBT Techniques for Anxiety That Will Calm Your Anxious Mind.

By Janey Davies.

May 10th, 2019.

 
 
 
 
 

 


 

If you’re reading this, it stands to reason that you are feeling anxious and are looking for tools such as CBT techniques to calm your anxiety.
 
 
Anxiety is a particularly devious beast.
 
 
It’s there for a reason, to give us the necessary fight or flight tools we need to survive. But if it gets out of control, it can restrict our lives and cause us more harm than good.
 
 
The problem with anxiety is that it easily escalates. Fear breeds fear. The more we worry something bad will happen, the more we convince ourselves it is likely to happen. We have set ourselves up to fail before we’ve even started.
 
We might start avoiding certain situations. However, although we may feel immediate relief by avoidance, we never learn that whatever we are afraid of isn’t actually that bad.
 
But you know what? When you are in the grip of a phobia, stuck in a repeating cycle of OCD, or suffering from social anxiety, it’s hard to be rational. And this is where cognitive behavioural therapy or CBT techniquescan help, no matter what type of anxiety you are experiencing.
 
 
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt
 
FDR was right on the money about fear, but how can CBT techniques help us when we are crippled by anxiety?
8 CBT techniques for anxiety that will calm an anxious mind:
Our thoughts make us anxious
 
 
 
The first thing to recognise about anxiety is that external factors are not making you anxious, your internal thoughts are. And if your inner thoughts are causing the problem, you can change the way you think about the situation.
 
Of course, this isn’t easy. We trust our brains to deliver the right information quickly so we can go about our business. So it can be hard to realise that our thoughts are giving us the wrong messages.
 
The first step in CBT therapy is understanding how our thoughts are responsible for the way we feel. There is nothing in everyday normal life to feel anxious about. The only thing that is making you anxious is you. But, you can change that.
Thoughts can’t hurt you
 
 
 
You’re having a panic attack and you feel as you’re going to die. In a social situation, a person with social anxiety might think they’re going to collapse. Someone with OCD might feel so stressed about checking or counting they feel physically sick.
 
 
How do we get to such extreme physical symptoms from a single thought? Because we’ve programmed ourselves to have an automatic reaction to the stressful situation. Our thoughts tumble out of our minds with no chance of stopping and escalate into a full-blown panic attack.
 
But think – thoughts cannot hurt you. Look around you now. Focus on a book or a lamp and say to yourself “Oh my God if I look at that book, I’ll faint.” No amount of you thinking it will make it happen.
 
The next time you feel anxious, remember: just because you think it, it doesn’t mean you can make it happen.
Don’t set yourself up to fail
 
 
 
What’s the difference between a person with driving phobia and someone who drives without anxiety? The person who drives normally doesn’t think about driving before they set off.
 
Someone with the driving phobia will already be worrying about the journey, what will happen, what could go wrong, will they get lost, have an accident, or will they have a panic attack?
 
 
Now think about the driver who didn’t have anxiety. What do you think would happen if he or she started thinking the same thoughts as the anxious driver?
 
The chances are that the once confident driver could now start to feel a little anxious about driving. But the roads haven’t changed, nor has the car they are driving. Only their thoughts. Don’t forget, your thoughts are responsible, not external factors.
 
 
Be rational and logical
 
 
Time to think like Spock. When you are in a stressful situation, your mind starts racing and is out of control. The best way to stop this is to take a step back and think rationally. It helps if you look at the situation from another perspective or another person’s point of view.
 
Let’s take that driving example again. For every worrying thought that crops up, look at it in a rational manner as if you were talking to a friend.
 
What if you did get lost? Do you have a sat nav or a map? What if you do break down? Do you have breakdown cover? Identify what you feel is dangerous about the situation and look at it calmly and rationally.
 
 
Ask yourself ‘What’s the worst that could happen?’
 
 
What for you is the worst thing that could happen? If you get anxious during interviews, what do you fear the most?
 
Not being able to answer a question? Do you feel trapped in a social situation that you can’t escape from? Are you worried you’ll have a panic attack on an aeroplane?
 
 
Identify your worst fear and then examine it logically. No one has died from a panic attack. Panic attacks end. Yes, they are extremely horrible, but you are safe, you are not in danger.
 
Talk to yourself and reassure yourself about the thing you are most afraid of. By analysing them in a logical way, you take their power away.
 
 
Start taking small steps
 
 
So, you know that your thoughts are making you anxious and that they cannot hurt you. The next way to beat your anxiety with CBT techniques is to start taking small steps that will build up your confidence in the situation you find stressful.
 
The best way to tackle this is to make a ladder with the small steps at the bottom that cause you some anxiety but you can do, and goals at the top that cause you extreme anxiety and you cannot do.
 
The way to work through the ladder is to start at the bottom and go through each step until you are bored with it. Only then do you move onto the next step. Most importantly, reward yourself after each step to reinforce a positive emotion with your success.
 
 
Be patient and kind to yourself
 
 
If you have suffered from a phobia or anxiety for years or decades, remember that these CBT techniques won’t work overnight. Your brain has been programmed to feel anxiety.
 
You have learned over the years that a certain situation is dangerous. Now your brain has to unlearn all the lessons you gave it. This takes time, patience and endurance.
 
 
Remember, you may have setbacks as well as good weeks. Don’t expect your progress to be without a few bumps here and there. But reward any small victories and don’t downplay your successes.
 
Remember, what’s easy for some is really hard for you. It is also very easy to slip into a ‘Why me?’ way of thinking but this doesn’t help in the long run. Of course, lots of people have got it easier than you, but equally, a lot more have it much harder.
 
 
 
If all else fails, act normal
 
 
It helps to remember that anxiety is a natural response to stress. As a result, adrenalin rushes through our bodies preparing us to fight or flight. Blood is drawn away from areas such as the stomach (we don’t need to digest food in an emergency situation) and directed to the legs and arms for running or fighting.
 
One way to train our brains that anxiety is an incorrect response is to do something that lets the brain know adrenalin is not required.
 
For example, I remember being in the middle of a panic attack and my friend said something ridiculous which made me laugh. All the anxiety dissipated because my laughter informed my brain there was nothing to be afraid of.
 
It is hard to stop being frightened, but try having open body posture, smiling, talking calmly, and breathing slowly. Even chewing a piece of gum will help as it redirects blood back to the stomach.
 
Being in the grip of an anxious episode is extremely frightening. However, remember that you are in control of your thoughts, and by using these CBT techniques, it is possible to calm your anxiety.
 
 

 

About the Author: Janey Davies.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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publicado por achama às 08:24
Quinta-feira, 09 / 05 / 19

25 Profound Little Prince Quotes Every Deep Thinker Will Appreciate ~ Kirstie Pursey.

25 Profound Little Prince Quotes Every Deep Thinker Will Appreciate.

By Kirstie Pursey

May 7th, 2019. 

 
The Little Prince, by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, is a children’s story with some very profound meanings and some quotes that will really make you think.
 

I have to admit that I never read the Little Prince as a child.

I think I wouldn’t have known what to make of it if I did. Even reading it as an adult I didn’t know what to make of it!
However, it is clear that The Little Prince touches on some very deep themes about the nature of life, love, friendship and more. The following Little Prince quotes show just how many philosophical themes are discussed in this small, but profound work.
The story tells of a pilot who crashes into the Sahara desert. He is attempting to fix his damaged plane when a little boy appears as if from nowhere and demands that he draws him a sheep. Thus begins a strange, enigmatic friendship that is both heartwarming and heartbreaking.
The Little Prince, it turns out, comes from a small asteroid where he is the only living being apart from a rather demanding rose bush. The Little Prince decides to leave his home and visit other planets to find knowledge.
The story tells of these encounters with rulers of strange worlds and de Saint-Exupéry has opportunities to demonstrate some philosophical themes that will make readers think.
On earth, as well as meeting the pilot, The Little price meets a Fox and  Snake. The fox helps him to truly understand the rose and the snake offers him a way to return to his home planet.
But his return journey comes at a high price. The book’s bittersweet ending is both thought-provoking and emotional. I would definitely recommend that you read The Little Prince if you haven’t already.
It is one of the most beautiful and profound children’s books there are. If you have older children, then you might like to read it with them as it can be a little overwhelming for them to read alone.

In the meantime, here are some of the best and most thought-provoking Little Prince quotes:

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
“A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.”
“All grown-ups were once children… but only a few of them remember it.”
“Well, I must endure the presence of a few caterpillars if I wish to become acquainted with the butterflies.”
“Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.”
“The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.”
“It is much more difficult to judge oneself than to judge others. If you succeed in judging yourself rightly, then you are indeed a man of true wisdom.”
“It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.”
“I am who I am and I have the need to be.”
“No one is ever satisfied where he is.”
“One day, I watched the sun setting forty-four times……You know…when one is so terribly sad, one loves sunsets.”
“People where you live, the little prince said, grow five thousand roses in one garden… Yet they don’t find what they’re looking for… And yet what they’re looking for could be found in a single rose.”
“But the conceited man did not hear him. Conceited people never hear anything but praise.”
“What matters most are the simple pleasures so abundant that we can all enjoy them…Happiness doesn’t lie in the objects we gather around us. To find it, all we need to do is open our eyes.”
“Where are the people?” resumed the little prince at last. “It’s a little lonely in the desert…” “It is lonely when you’re among people, too,” said the snake.”
“What makes the desert beautiful,’ said the little prince, ‘is that somewhere it hides a well…”
“For me, you are only a little boy just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you have no need of me, either. For you, I’m only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, we’ll need each other. You’ll be the only boy in the world for me and I’ll be the only fox in the world for you.”
“To forget a friend is sad. Not everyone has had a friend.”
“Only the children know what they are looking for.”
“Sometimes, there is no harm in putting off a piece of work until another day.”
“I should have judged her according to her actions, not her words.”
“Nevertheless he is the only one of them all who does not seem to me ridiculous. Perhaps that is because he is thinking of something else besides himself.”
“The one thing I love in life is to sleep.”
“The machine does not isolate man from the great problems of nature but plunges him more deeply into them.”
“And when your sorrow is comforted (time soothes all sorrows) you will be content that you have known me.”

Closing thoughts

I hope you have enjoyed these Little Prince quotes. Admittedly, they are sometimes difficult to fathom at first. However, like many things in life, the more you think about them, the more they begin to make sense.
This is not an easy book to read and the bittersweet ending may leave you feeling a little heartbroken. However, the book offers so many insights into the human condition that it is well worth the time spent thinking about the philosophical ideas contained between the covers.

We’d love to hear your favourite quotes from the Little Prince. Please share them with us in the comments below.

 

 

 

 

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.


About the Author: Kirstie Pursey



Kirstie works as a writer, blogger and storyteller and lives in London with her family of people, dogs and cats. She is a lover of reading, writing, being in nature, fairy lights, candles, firesides and afternoon tea. Kirstie has trouble sitting still which is why she created www.notmeditating.com to share techniques and practices for tuning out the busy mind. She is also the author of Not Meditating: Finding Peace, Love and Happiness Without Sitting Still.


 



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publicado por achama às 16:50
Sexta-feira, 03 / 05 / 19

25 Aesthetic Words Every Book Lover Will Appreciate ~ Kirstie Pursey

25 Aesthetic Words Every Book Lover Will Appreciate.

By Kirstie Pursey

May 2nd, 2019. 

 

 

 

The English language is full of beautiful sounding words that are a delight to hear. How many of these aesthetic words do you know?

Some of the most beautiful words in the English language conjure up a sense of something magical. Finding the perfect aesthetic words for a sensation or feeling is a joy.
Sometimes even when you are feeling sad, finding the exact words to describe your emotions can make it seem just a little better.
If you love books, and especially if you love to write, you may find these following words inspire you to use the English language to its fullest.
Rather than just saying you are sad, perhaps you would describe yourself as melancholy, nostalgic, mournful or heartbroken. Or perhaps your happiness is more like contentment, delight or ecstasy.
Some of my favourite words describe feelings that are hard to describe in any other way. And of course, some words just sound so beautiful they are a joy to say.
Amazingly, there are more than a million words in the English language. Many of them are beautiful in some way. Perhaps it is the way they sound, the way they look when written on a page, or because the meaning is so precise and perfect.
Words, of course, are not meant to be considered in isolation. Together they can make up sentences and utterances and become poems, stories, songs and essays. However, finding the perfect words will enhance your language for whatever you want to communicate, it is a chat with a friend or an epic poem.
If you are looking for some inspiration, take a look at these 25 of my favourite aesthetic words.

Aesthetic words for happy emotions

Sometimes we feel like words can’t describe how happy we feel. But if you look closely at the English language, you are bound to find a word that perfectly describes your feeling of joy.

1. Euphoria

A feeling or state of intense excitement and happiness.

2. Bliss

A state of supreme happiness, utter joy or contentment.

3. Halcyon

Happy, joyful and carefree.

4. Serendipity

The chance occurrence of events in a beneficial way.

Beautiful words for sad emotions

The English language also has the perfect word for our sad emotions. If you are feeling blue, but just can’t quite put your finger on how you are feeling, you may find the following words describe your emotions perfectly. Plus they have the bonus of being some of the most beautiful sounding words in the English language.

5. Crestfallen

Dejected, dispirited or discouraged.

6. Woebegone

Sorrowful and downcast.

7. Wistful

Full of yearning or desire tinged with melancholy.

Aesthetic words that describe the world

We live in such a wonderful world that sometimes it is hard to put into words how to describe it. I was surprised that there are so many words that describe specific things about the world, times of the day and specific weather. Here are just a few of my favourites:

8. Vespertine

Occurring in the evening.

9. Idyllic

Extremely peaceful or picturesque.

10. Petrichor

The pleasant, earthy smell after rain.

11. Resplendent

Splendid or dazzling to look at.

12. Erstwhile

In the past, at one time.

Beautiful words that describe human experience

There are some human experiences that seem difficult to put into words. However, the English language probably has a word that is just right for even the most specific of human experiences. I’m sure you have all felt the following emotions, but did you know there was a word for the way you felt?

13. Clinomania

Excessive desire to stay in bed.

14. Pluviophile

Pluviophile
lover of rain; someone who finds joy and peace of mind during rainy days.

15. Apricity

The warmth of the sun in winter.

Aesthetic words for when you just can’t find the word to describe something

Human beings have always struggled to find the words to explain some things. For this reason, the English language has a lot of words for things that are hard to describe. Here are just a few of the thousands of beautiful words in the English language.

16. Inexplicable

Impossible to explain.

17. Ineffable

Inexpressible.

18. Unfathomable

Impossible to explain or understand.

Aesthetic words that are just simply beautiful to say

Some words are just beautiful to say. They trip off the tongue in a delightful way and sound like music when we hear them. Here are just a few of the thousands of beautiful words in the English language:

19. Ethereal

Extremely delicate, light, not of this world.

20. Supine

Lying face upwards.

21. Syzygy

An alignment of celestial bodies.

22. Quintessential

The pure essence of something or the most perfect embodiment of something.

23. Sumptuous

Extremely, rich, luxurious, or magnificent.

24. Lissome

Slender, graceful and lithe.

25. Effervescent

Bubbly or sparkling, also vivacious; merry, lively.
The English language really is a wonderful language that has taken influences from all around the world. This is why we have so many words to choose from when trying to describe, explain or think about what we are experiencing or feeling. I hope you have found these words inspire you to explore the English language further so you can express yourself in new and different ways.
This article has only touched the surface of some of the most aesthetic words in the English language. We’d love to hear some of your favourites. So if you are a logophile, please share your most beloved words with us in the comments below!

 

 

 

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About the Author: Kirstie Pursey



Kirstie works as a writer, blogger and storyteller and lives in London with her family of people, dogs and cats. She is a lover of reading, writing, being in nature, fairy lights, candles, firesides and afternoon tea. Kirstie has trouble sitting still which is why she created www.notmeditating.com to share techniques and practices for tuning out the busy mind. She is also the author of Not Meditating: Finding Peace, Love and Happiness Without Sitting Still.


 



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publicado por achama às 16:41
Quarta-feira, 01 / 05 / 19

3 Interesting Decision-Making Theories Which Explain the Choices We Make ~ Sherrie.

3 Interesting Decision-Making Theories Which Explain the Choices We Make.

By Sherrie.

April 30, 2019


 

Decision-making theories come are quite useful. When it’s time to make an important choice, there’s no need to delay.
Whether we are familiar with theories regarding decision-making or not, in this day and age, choice is in abundance. What do we want to eat, which sofa should we purchase, do you get a dog or not? Because we have way too many options, it can make choosing much harder than it should be.
Choice is our ability to make decisions when presented with two or more options. When we have more than two options, we must make a choice. This is what the world presents to us. Therefore, it is the truth of how free will works. We can then live and artistically create the life we want to.
So, why is it so difficult? Ultimately, choice represents the sacrifices we must make. We automatically give up something else when we make a choice between two or more things.
This means, if we find ourselves wanting something else next month, chances are that choice will be gone – non-existent. We have to take what we have today, and this depends on what we choose.

Decision-making theories – the basics

Different approaches to decision-making are sometimes called Choice theories. William Glasser founded this term from a book with the same title. According to Glasser, freedom, fun, power, love and belonging, and survival are basic satisfied needs which come from choices we make.
The idea that choices are mostly made by humans, which enhance what we really want, is an idea that’s been around for quite some time. Choice and the psychology behind it is the reason we make the decisions that we do. It’s a subconscious decision that motivates our satisfaction and meeting those satisfactions.

Here are three decision-making theories that will help you to understand the choices you make. It might even encourage you to make better ones!

1. Our emotions connect to our actions

Neuroscientist and professor at USC and Salk Institute, Dr. Antonio Damasio says that our decisions come from visceral emotion. The definition of his theory is that there is a link between “raw” emotions and the part of the brain which governs decisions. He, therefore, concluded that decision making and judgment come from a critical neural circuit.
Damasio concludes that non-rational and rational processes bridge feeling and emotion. If meaning and motivation, would not be possible if emotional input was absent, and decision making could not happen.
Damasio believes that we don’t only base our choices on logic and fact, but also on memories and emotions. This is why we make decisions on unconscious levels. Our intuition guides us.

2. Decisions can be costly – literally!

Does making decisions result in reduced self-control? A study from the University of Minnesota points to yes. The study also showed more procrastination, lack of ability to persist in failed circumstances, decrease in physical stamina, and worsening of arithmetic abilities
Researchers, to conduct the study asked students for help. After dividing into two groups, the teams take on studies much like the others but to understand how choices affect things. Identical product lists were given to all the students in the initial experiment.
A singular group was asked questions revolved around how often, in the past, that the product was used. However, one group was about how often they’d used the products in the past. The same product, with variations, were chosen by the other group. In another experiment, one group answered questions such as this and the other did not.
“Making choices apparently depleted a precious self-resource,” wrote the authors in the conclusion of their study. “This is because subsequent self-regulation is poorer among those who had made choices than it was among those who had not. This pattern became clear in the laboratory, classroom, and shopping mall.”

3. Watch out for bias!

There is absolutely no doubt that our biases affect our choices. However, there is one particular bias that focuses on decision-making theories in many situations.
Loss aversion bias is one such example. No one likes to be left out or miss important things. Fact. However, it isn’t as important to gain something than it is to avoid losing something. This is the way aversion works. The endowment effect shows us through our desire to keep what we have instead of striving for more.
Daniel Kahneman, in yet another study, gave test subjects either an empty mug, nothing or chocolate.  They could trade or choose between two other objects. Half of them wanted the mugs, but those who already had mugs did not want to give them up – about 86% of participants, showing the desire to keep the possessions a person already has.

How to make hard decisions easier

Choices are hard, you see. I guess you understand now. No matter what, some choices you make will always be hard. However, some of these decision-making theories might just help you understand your own choices.
We don’t always have a rational reason to make decisions. They cannot separate from our identity, our location, or what helps us decide what to wear. Maybe we will be able to make wiser choices and help others make proper decisions too, as long as we understand psychological influences and factors that affect our decisions.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://www.forbes.com
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

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publicado por achama às 19:50
Sábado, 13 / 04 / 19

6 Types of Moral Dilemmas in Life and How to Resolve Them ~ Alexander

6 Types of Moral Dilemmas in Life and How to Resolve Them.

By Alexander

https://www.learning-mind.com/

April 13th, 2019.

 
 

 

What are moral dilemmas?

Moral dilemmas are situations where an individual has to make a choicebetween two or more clashing options.
These options are often not pleasing to the individual and are usually not truly morally acceptable either. We can identify moral dilemmas by recognising that our actions in these given situations have moral and ethical consequences.
We must choose between which actions to take. However, we may not be happy with any choice, and none of them can be considered fully morally acceptable.
Our first point of order might be to consult any personal moral beliefs or societal ethical and lawful norms in order to resolve such difficulties. Yet, this is often not enough. It may not point towards the best action to take, and it may not even be sufficient in tackling the moral dilemma.
We must find ways of resolving these challenging situations in order to produce the least suffering possible. To do this, it is useful to identify the different types of moral dilemmas that we may find ourselves in.

6 Types of Moral Dilemmas

There are several categories of moral dilemmas within philosophical thought. They can seem complex, but learning the basics of them can help identify them and mould a solution for them:

Epistemic moral dilemmas

Epistemic’ means to do with the knowledge of something. This is what this dilemma is about.
The situation involves two moral choices that conflict, but the individual has no idea which choice is the most morally acceptable. They don’t know which is the most ethically viable. They need more information and knowledge surrounding the two options before making an informed decision.

Ontological moral dilemmas

Ontological’ means the nature of something or the relation between things. The options in this dilemma are equal in their moral consequences.
This means that neither of them supersedes the other. They are fundamentally on the same ethical level. Therefore, the individual cannot choose between the two.

Self-imposed moral dilemmas

A self-imposed dilemma is a situation that has been caused by the individual’s mistakes or misconduct. The moral dilemma is self-inflicted. This can cause a number of complications when attempting to make a decision.

World-imposed moral dilemmas

A world-imposed dilemma is a situation where events that we can’t controlhave created an unavoidable moral conflict.
An individual must resolve a moral dilemma, even though the cause of it is beyond his/her control. For example, this could be in times of war or a financial crash.

Obligation moral dilemmas

Obligation dilemmas are situations where we feel we are obliged to opt for more than one choice. We feel we are obliged to carry out an action from a moral or legal standpoint.
If there were just one option that is obligatory, then the choice would be easy. However, if an individual feels obliged to opt for several of the choices in front of them but can only choose one, which one should they choose?

Prohibition moral dilemmas

Prohibition dilemmas are the opposite of obligation dilemmas. The choices that are offered to us are all, on some level, morally reprehensible.
They can all be considered as wrong, but we must choose one. They could be illegal, or just plain immoral. An individual must choose between what would normally be considered as prohibited.
These are examples of some of the types of moral dilemmas that may arise. Our actions will affect not just ourselves, but many other people as well.
So, we should thoroughly consider the action before we carry it out. However, they are complex and problematic, and resolving them may seem an impossible task.

How to resolve them?

The largest struggle in trying to resolve a moral dilemma is recognising that whatever action you take, it will not be completely ethical. It will just be the most ethical in comparison with the other choices.
Philosophers have attempted to find solutions to moral dilemmas for centuries. They have discussed and attempted to find the best ways to resolve them, in order to help us live better and reduce the suffering that we may face.
Here are a few pieces of advice to help resolve moral dilemmas:

Be reasonable, not emotional

We have a greater chance of overcoming these struggles if we logically work through them. Analyse the aspects of the dilemma in order to better conclude what action is the greatest good. Emotion can cloud our judgment of what may be the best ethical outcome.

Choose the greater good or the lesser evil

Perhaps the soundest piece of advice is to conclude which choice allows for the greatest good, or the less evil. This isn’t simple and will take much consideration.
However, if there is an action that is on balance morally superior, despite other personal or social implications, then it is the best action to take.

Is there an alternative?

Analysing the situation in greater detail may reveal alternative options that were not immediately obvious. Is there an alternative choice or action that will resolve the dilemma better than the ones you have in front of you? Take time to recognise if there is.

What are the consequences?

Weighing up the positive and negative consequences of each action will give a clearer picture of the best choice to make. Each option may have a number of negative consequences, but if one has more positive consequences and less negative, then it is on the balance the right action to take.

What would a good person do?

Sometimes a useful thing to do would be to just simply askWhat would a good person do?
Imagine yourself as a truly virtuous and moral character and determine what they would do, regardless of your own character and the personal or social factors that may influence your decision.

Resolving moral dilemmas will not be easy

The dilemmas that we face will be complex and arduous. The advice given by philosophers will aid us when trying to resolve them.
However, it is not as straightforward as using one piece of advice to solve a single dilemma. Often, it will be a combination of many of them that will give us the best chance of taking the correct action. Most of the time, all of them will be relevant in every dilemma that we face.
But there is one thing that all of these methods of resolutions promote: the importance of reason. Moral dilemmas can seem so over-facing that our emotions can prevent us from making an informed decision. Or, they can misguide us into making the wrong decision.
Taking a step back to dissect and analyse the dilemma will allow for a better perspective on the situation. This allows you to see more clearly the consequences of each action, the goods and evils of each action and any alternatives that may present themselves.
However, perhaps the best piece of advice is just recognising that resolving moral dilemmas will not be easy. It will be difficult and may cause us deep anguish as we wrestle between conflicting moral options.
We are better equipped to face these dilemmas if we are aware of this. Thinking reasonably, and not being overwhelmed by the dilemma, will be a good start as well.
References:
  1. https://examples.yourdictionary.com/
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/
 

 

 

 

 


 
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

About the Author: Alexander



I am an English and Philosophy graduate and freelance writer and blogger. I have always been fascinated by art, culture and philosophy, and believe they are an integral and important part of all of our lives. My particular interests and passions include Film and ancient Greek philosophy.
 
 



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publicado por achama às 17:15
Segunda-feira, 11 / 02 / 19

How to Overcome Fear and Phobias with These 10 Science-Backed Strategies ~ Mariya M.

How to Overcome Fear and Phobias with These 10 Science-Backed Strategies.

By Mariya M.

February 8th, 2019. 

 
how to overcome fear.

 

 

This article on how to overcome fear will be helpful for everybody because everyone is afraid of something.

Fear is a natural response that protects us from danger as well as other threatening circumstances we can encounter in our lives. However, sometimes this natural reaction goes a bit crazy and this can cause a certain fear to become a phobia. It’s in this kind of situation that we must learn how to overcome fear.
No matter what your fear is or where it comes from, you can work on your phobias to remove them. It may not be easy, but you can see some improvements in a short while if you keep at it. Here are some strategies for how to overcome fear that are supported by science you can try out so as to get rid of any of your phobias once and for all.

1. The Self-Exposure Therapy Strategy

This is a great option for folks who never have time (or money) for luxury therapy sessions. If you want to know how to overcome fear, you could try self-exposure therapy, a form of cognitive-behavioral therapy. You can carry it out through books, support groups or self-help.
Basically, you want to take it in your own hands.

2. Reading On The Topic

Let’s say you are afraid of flying. By reading everything about the operation of aircraft, flight statistics, and security measures, you can better control the situation. The same applies to almost every phobia.
A little knowledge can do a lot to reduce your fears. When you get to know the subject of your phobia, it basically helps you learn how to overcome fear.

3. Climb The Stairs Of Fear

The fear trapping technique works well when the other methods seem too ineffective or too much. According to an article on helpguide.org, you may have started with something that was too scary or overwhelming. Instead, start with a situation that you can handle and develop from it.
Let’s suppose that you are afraid of dogs. You can take a picture of dogs or watch a video of these dogs. You want to look at a dog through a window, stand 10 feet from a small dog, then 5 feet up and so on.

4. Learn Relaxation Techniques

One of the worst parts of phobias is physical reactions, such as superficial breathing, quickened heartbeats, etc. This can make your fear worse than it already is. Relaxation techniques can be helpful in calming your panic. By breathing deeply from within the abdomen, you can reverse these physical sensations.

5. Do It Anyway

If you have ever given up something because you were afraid, then you know how important it is to do it anyway. Yes, planes are terrifying, heights can actually be scary and even spiders are terrifying, however, that does not truly mean you will never encounter them or that you can run away from them forever.
Let the fear come and do everything to keep going. This is believed to be the best way to overcome fear.

6. Try To Desensitize

If you really feel overwhelmed in addressing your phobia, the desensitization technique may be right for you. The idea is to gradually expose yourself to the dreaded situation (ie spiders, crowded streets, heights) until the tipping point when your anxiety becomes too great.
Next time press a little further. And so on, until the fear (hopefully) completely disappears.

7. Give Biofeedback A Try

Biofeedback is a great spatial way to observe your stress reactions. During a session, a doctor places electrodes on your skin. See a monitor nearby for things like respiratory rate, heart rate, and muscle activity.
As an expert said, “Biofeedback gives anxious people the opportunity to see their physiological responses to stress.”
It is hoped that this awareness can lead to better relaxation techniques.

8. Go To The Flood Technique

Think of a claustrophobic person who steps in and out of an elevator all day, or a germaphobe who smears their hands on dirty door knobs. This technique is just as it sounds, repeatedly (or flooded) a situation until you feel less frightened. This is how you learn how to overcome fear.
The amygdala is expected to be trained that nothing bad is going to happen as well as stop discharging stress hormones. Although this technique is hard to do, it’s worth it in the end.

9. The Association Method

If you are in a situation that scares you, for example in a mall full of people, think about asking for a friend’s company. If you are afraid to walk alone among the crowd, you want to walk with your friend a certain distance. Your friend must walk ahead a little bit and then wait until you catch up.
After you caught up, the person continues before you catch up again. Gradually, you will find yourself walking long distances alone. This is a simple and excellent technique to remove this type of anxiety.

10. Join A Support Group

Self-help groups help you realize you’re never alone. They can be fun and crazy (in a good way). If you are with like-minded people who want to improve, it greatly increases your chances of recovery. If you would like to remain anonymous, you can also try online chat and work together with an online friend on your problems.
Lastly, regardless of the source of fear, it blocks too many people and prevents them from achieving what they want and can do. There is no surer way to fail than to never try. Don’t let fear ruin your life before you do something about it.
References:
  1. https://www.nhs.uk
  2. https://www.helpguide.org
  3. https://www.apa.org
 

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publicado por achama às 15:35
Sábado, 09 / 02 / 19

10 Rare Mental Disorders You Have Probably Never Heard about ~ Janey Davies.

10 Rare Mental Disorders You Have Probably Never Heard about.

By Janey Davies.

February 6, 2019.

 
rare mental disorders
 
 
 

 


 
We can all name some common mental disorders. For instance, depression, anxiety, OCD are just a few. But what about rare mental disorders?
 
 
The mind is a wonderful thing. After all, it’s what makes us human. It separates us from animals. But when it goes wrong, it can produce some horrifying symptoms. Here are 10 rare mental disorders you’ve probably never heard about. And probably don’t want to – for good reason.
10 Rare Mental Disorders
Aboulomania
 
 
 
If you find it hard to make decisions, spare a thought for people with aboulomania. They suffer from a crippling condition that makes it almost impossible for them to make a simple choice. So whether it is going shopping, picking what to wear, or what to have for dinner. They have a chronic inability to make a decision.
 
Apotemnophilia
 
 
 
Ever wanted to cut off part of your body? No, me neither. But those with apotemnophilia have a pathological desire to amputate a healthy limb such as a leg or arm.
 
Known as ‘body integrity identity disorder’, sufferers are driven to remove parts of their bodies. The desire can be so strong that some sufferers actually attempt to remove or irreparably damage their own limbs so that surgery is necessary.
Boanthropy
 
 
 
This is one of those very rare mental disorders, but nonetheless, it is extremely troubling for those who suffer from it. People with Boanthropy are convinced that they are cows. They will mimic a cow’s actions, such as eating grass and walking on all fours. They will mix with cows in fields but have no idea why or what they are doing.
 
No one really knows why people suffer from Boanthropy. However, there is an early reference to it in the Bible. King Nebuchadnezzar was a sufferer. He is described as being ‘driven from men and did eat grass as oxen.’
Celebriphilia
 
 
 
We’ve all had a celebrity crush at some point in our lives. But those with celebriphilia have more than a passing desire. They suffer from an overwhelmingly obsessive sexual desire for a celebrity. They can have romantic or purely erotic feelings. But the condition is all-consuming.
Cotard Delusion
 
 
 
Humans have a morbid curiosity when it comes to zombies and the undead. To the point where we can even suffer from a kind of zombie hell ourselves.
 
First described in 1880 by French neurologist Jules Cotard, sufferers believe they are the walking dead. People with Cotard Delusion think their bodies are rotting and decomposing.
 
Some are so convinced they are dead that they do not bother to eat or get up and eventually die. Luckily, this is probably one of our extremely rare mental disorders.
 
Ekbom Syndrome
 
 
 
People who have Ekbom syndrome think that their skin is infested with insects. Also known as delusional parasitosis, sufferers feel real itching and can scratch themselves to the point of bleeding.
 
They will often bring in what they believe to be a sample of the insect that is under their skin to show a doctor. They call in pest control as they believe their house is infested.
 
This syndrome is extremely difficult to cure and a multi-disciplined approach is best. For instance, as they believe they have a physical condition, it is best to have a physician and a psychiatrist on-board.
Factitious Disorder
 
 
 
No one likes being ill, but those with Factitious Disorder actually obsess about it. They intentionally make themselves ill. They will create illnesses and symptoms and tell lies to cover up the fact they are well.
 
This might involve going to different doctors or hospitals to keep their façade going. They will go to extreme lengths to prove they are ill. Even undergoing painful tests in order to keep the ruse believable.
 
 
Now, this is one of those rare mental disorders you might have heard of before. And you’d be right. Munchausen syndrome is no longer used by healthcare professionals.
Fregoli Delusion
 
 
 
Similar to Capgras Delusion, Fregoli Delusion is a belief that a stranger is posing as someone they know and love. People with Capgras Delusion think their loved ones have been replaced by an imposter.
 
However, those suffering from this delusion think the opposite. They believe a stranger is a friend or family member. They think these strangers are wearing sophisticated disguises to mislead them.
Genital Retraction Syndrome
 
 
 
The poor people that have this syndrome experience real pain alongside a deep-rooted fear. They are certain that in some point in the near future, their genitals will retract up into their stomach. Once this happens, they will never come down again and the person will die. This is mainly an Eastern belief that thankfully, is very rare.
Kluver-Bucy Syndrome
 
 
 
Have you ever felt an urge to have sex with a car? You would if you suffered from Kluver-Bucy Syndrome. This is one of our rarest of rare mental disorders, but it is very disturbing for those that have it.
 
Those with this syndrome experience inappropriate sexual behaviour which they cannot control. For example, they feel pleasure when they out inanimate objects in their mouths. They might also suffer from a kind of agnosia, in that, they find it hard to recognise familiar faces and/or objects. Experts believe this syndrome results from a brain injury to the temporal lobe. As such, there is no known cure.
 
These rare mental disorders just go to show that our minds are capable of producing the most bizarre symptoms. Because of this, they are extremely hard, not only to diagnose but to treat.
 
Have I missed any rare disorders out that you think should have made the list? Let us know!
 
References:

 

 

 

About the Author: Janey D.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
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publicado por achama às 07:23
Segunda-feira, 04 / 02 / 19

5 Causes of Guilt and Shame You May Have Never Considered and How to Cope. ~ Janey Davies.

 

5 Causes of Guilt and Shame You May Have Never Considered and How to Cope.

By Janey Davies.

February 2, 2019.

 
 
 
 

 

It’s quite normal to feel guilt and shame if you’ve done something wrong. But what other reasons are there to cause these emotional reactions?

Guilt and shame are natural reactions to a feeling of wrongdoing, but they are slightly different. Guilt is how we feel when we have done something wrong. It is all about our actions, what we do or say. Guilt is ‘I did something bad’.
Whereas shame is how we feel about ourselves, the feeling of being wrong. Shame is ‘I am someone bad’. So what are the kinds of things that make us feel guilt or shame?
There are lots of things that can cause a person to feel guilt. You can lie, cheat, steal or even harm another person. Guilt is an extremely common emotion.
In fact, a recent study concluded that 96% of women suffer from guilt at least once a day. Not only that but this feeling of guilt and shame is having a destructive effect on our mental health.

So what are the unlikely causes of guilt and shame you may never have considered?

 

5 Causes of Guilt and Shame

 

1.Saying no

Who would have thought that simply saying no to a person would cause us so much grief? But it is right up there in what makes us feel guilty. But why does it affect us in this way so much?
Well, first of all, it affects women more than men and this is because women are taught from an early age to be polite and accommodating to others. So when we go against this ingrained imprinting it feels incredibly alien to us. And it is this that causes us to feel guilt and shame.
But obviously, people cannot agree to every request or favour put their way, so how can you say no without appearing to be the Wicked Witch from the West?
The answer is to buy yourself some time and not be pushed to say yes or no on the spot. Say something like ‘I’m not sure whether I can that day/afternoon/evening but let me get back to you.’ Then if you can’t or don’t want to do it, say no. After all, you are not Superwoman.

2.Not spending enough time with your parents/children

We all wish we had more time to spend with loved ones, but in today’s busy society, sometimes this just isn’t possible. But if it is causing you to feel heartfelt anxiety and problems, you need to be able to deal with your situation. Many parents worry about not spending enough time with their own parents and their children.
So how do you get the balance right? Unfortunately, we have to work to pay the bills, but if you are at work, worrying about your kids, your work is not getting the best out of you. In the same way, if you are at home worrying about work then you are not present for your kids.
Make sure when you are with your children you are 100% with them and not thinking about work. Likewise, when you’re at work give it your full attention. As for your parents, remember that they were also parents and will understand you have a busy schedule. It’s likely they understand more than you give them credit for.

3.Not being perfect all the time

Some people strive for perfection. Whether it is in their careers, their relationships, their homes or their educations. But I have it on good authority that there is no such thing as perfection. In fact, the celebrated writer on common sense, GK Chesterton said:
“If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly.” GK Chesterton
And I always follow his advice. The thing is, you can get so caught up in the details of getting a thing perfect that you miss out on the fun of it altogether. And remember, your perception of perfection is likely to be different from everyone else.
So while you are killing yourself to achieve this impossible goal, everyone around you might not even think you’ve achieved it by their ideals and standards. So what really is the point?
Just relax and enjoy yourself. There are no gravestones that say ‘Her house was really clean all the time’ on them. They all read ‘She was loved and will be greatly missed.’ And at the end of the day, that is what’s important to be remembered for.

4.Not losing enough weight

There’s a lot of body-shaming going around these days. Sly remarks about a person on social media. Photographs with cruel taunts about a person’s shape. Anyone over a certain dress size that is trying to lose weight will already know how hard it is to get the pounds off.
But being the subject of name-calling is enough to cause feelings of shame where the person doesn’t think that they are good enough in the first place.
Life is hard enough for people over a certain weight anyway. They face stares of disapproval whenever they go out. They can’t find chairs large enough on public transport and clothes shopping is a constant nightmare. This feeling of guilt and shame that they are not doing enough to get the weight off follows them around all the time.
But obesity is not about a person being lazy or eating too much. There are mental issues involved such as addiction to food or using food as a comfort. But this is about making a decision. If you want to change, you have to get help because this is too difficult for you to do on your own.

5.Always being late

Finally, I have to admit that this is something I struggle with all the time. I am always late.Actually, that’s not true. I’m never late for my birthday. Which goes to show what a selfish person I am. Because for every other date or appointment – I am always late. And it kills me every time.
But I don’t change my habits. I don’t leave earlier to beat the traffic. And I certainly don’t suss out the car parking situation so I know where I need to go. I am always rushing at the last minute and I always arrive flushed, panicking, out of breath and feeling guilty.
So why don’t I change? Is it because I don’t value other people’s time as important enough for me to make an effort? Or is it because I have plenty of time I simply assume other people do as well? Or am I just lazy? Sadly, I suspect it’s the latter.
What causes you to feel guilt and shame? Why not let us know in the comments box? We’d love to hear from you.
References:
  1. https://www.mirror.co.uk/
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/

 

 

 

 

 

About the Author: Janey D.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
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If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind.


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publicado por achama às 02:32
Sexta-feira, 01 / 02 / 19

What Is Emotional Strength and 5 Unexpected Signs You Have It ~ Francesca F.

What Is Emotional Strength and 5 Unexpected Signs You Have It.

By Francesca F.

January 31st, 2019

 
emotional strength.

 

 

Emotional strength can seem like an abstract term. It’s an essential part of responding to difficult situations, but many of us don’t know we have it.

When times get tough, it can sometimes feel like we can’t handle it. Emotional strength is an essential skill that most of us don’t see ourselves as having.
Sometimes it can be hard to even know what ‘emotional strength’ even is. For some, emotional strength may be a high level of control over your emotions. For others, it is being able to show your emotions confidently.
There are so many different interpretations of emotional strength floating around that the actual definition is not so well-known. To understand emotional strength, it’s important to know what it actually is and how you know you have it. There are a number of traits of emotional strength which may surprise you. You probably have more emotional strength than you think you do.
Emotional strength helps you to navigate difficult circumstances and can influence so many areas of behavior. However, it doesn’t come easy. Emotional strength is something we all must practice and, well, strengthen. The first step to emotional strength is understanding what the term really means.

What is emotional strength?

Emotional strength encompasses so many areas of life, making pinning down one definition a difficult task. Emotional strength is a type of response and disposition when reacting to emotional events. It is defined as,
the ability to respond in an open and vulnerable way in the face of intense emotional experience, feeling one’s way deeper into the emotion which allows access to implicit functional processes driving action
With four key indicators of emotional strength are:
  1. Openness and vulnerability;
  2. Emotional responsiveness;
  3. Self-description with ease us using vulnerable language;
  4. Continuing engagement in action.
Emotional strength is very different from other forms of psychological practices such as mindfulness and emotional regulation. It is not the point to turn a negative experience into a positive one.
Instead, the core focus of practicing emotional intelligence is to truly and deeply feel an emotional experience and allowing oneself to be vulnerable. This skill helps us to open up our emotional responsiveness and change the way we understand our emotions in daily life.
There are many ways in which we can do this, but there are certain traits and practices which we may not expect to show our emotional strength.

These five traits show your emotional strength, and also how to practice making it stronger.

Not shying away from pain

The key aspect of emotional strength is leaning into pain rather than shying away from it. Being able to accept pain and dealing with it head-on is something which shows great emotional strength.
By being able to feel pain more deeply, they are also able to feel other emotions much stronger, such as happiness and pleasure. This is a difficult trait to practice and takes a lot of work, but if you can accept and feel pain without fear, you are amongst the emotionally strongest.

Focusing on solutions over problems

Facing obstacles is a natural part of life, but many focus on the problem rather than finding a solution. Those with emotional strength understand that problems come from all different directions and it is more important to find answers than stress about the problem itself.
It is easy to get distracted by problems. However, to practice your emotional strength, try to concentrate on how to solve them.

Seeking respect, not attention

It is human nature to seek acceptance from our peers, but emotional strength comes from seeking the right kind of acceptance.
It is much better to seek respect from your peers with strong personal characteristics than it is to seek attention with small actions. Building respect from others brings greater satisfaction to those who understand the power of being respected.

Letting go of grudges

Emotionally strong people know that it is more detrimental to hold grudges than it is to let them go. It doesn’t mean you forget those who have done wrong, but forgiving them and moving on takes much less energy.
In the long run, it is less toxic and more fulfilling to let go of grudges than to hold onto themForgiveness is never easy, but with time, it will come and prove to be all the more freeing.

Comfortable in themselves

The most important trait of someone with emotional strength is complete comfortability in who they are and what they enjoy. The ridicule of others means very little to them, they don’t take criticism because they know what is important.
To practice comfortability in yourself, try to pay little mind to the critiques of others. It may not be easy but understand that it comes from a negative place and is never constructive.
Emotional strength can be difficult to practice at times because it forces us to face and even lean into the difficulties humans face. It is a skill we must learn to feel more confident and settled in ourselves but also feel the pleasures of life at a much greater level.
References:

 

 

About the Author: Francesca F.

Francesca is a freelance writer currently studying a degree in Law and Philosophy. She has written for several blogs in a range of subjects across Lifestyle, Relationships and Health and Fitness. Her main pursuits are learning new innovative ways of keeping fit and healthy, as well as broadening her knowledge in as many areas as possible in order to achieve success.
 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 18:57
Segunda-feira, 28 / 01 / 19

10 Signs of Toxic Sibling Relationships Most People Think Are Normal ~ Janey Davies.

Has an Alien Signal Been Detected? SETI Research and the First Contact.

By Janey Davies.

January 27th, 2019. 

 
 
toxic sibling relationships
 

 

There’s no law that says we have to get on with our siblings. Thankfully, most of us have pretty good family dynamics. But some people have toxic sibling relationships.

So what’s the difference between say typical sibling rivalries to toxic sibling relationships?
Healthy sibling relationships are compassionate, loving, willing to listen and help. They are non-judgemental and caring. They want the best for their brothers and sisters. That’s why they are happy and pleased when their siblings achieve success. They are independent of their siblings but not distant from them.
Toxic sibling relationships are simply the opposite.

Here are 10 other signs of toxic sibling relationships:

 

1.They are the favourite child

Parents should not have favourite children. But was your sibling always praised and given the best opportunities in your family? Did they get away with murder? Did the rules not apply to them?
Favouritism can lead to narcissistic behaviour. When a child always gets want they want and is never made to feel the consequences of their actions, it gives them a false sense of superiority.

2.They are controlling

Do you feel like you always have to do what your sibling wants to do? If you don’t, they will sulk or get aggressive? In the end, it’s just easier to go with whatever they want?
This is a form of control. Whether it is what friends are suitable for you or the type of college course you should study. If you find that you are not able to make your own decisions without your sibling getting their way, this is a sign of coercive control.

3.You don’t feel you can say ‘no’ to them

This is another form of control, but it also impacts a great deal on your life. Do they get upset if you say no to one of their requests or demands? Do they make you feel guilty for saying no? Finally, do they play on your emotions and try and make you feel bad for not helping them?
This is typical behaviour of a younger sibling that has narcissistic tendencies.

4They manipulate you

People that think and act in a rational and logical way can quite often be deceived and manipulated easily because they just don’t think in that kind of devious way. Someone who is lazy and can’t be bothered to work themselves will use deception to resolve their issues instead.
The problem here is that, of course, families are supposed to help out one another, but not to the point where one person is always benefitting to the detriment of everyone else.

5.They are always right

No one is right all the time. We all have to have an open mind, even if we think we know the truth. But some people that believe that they know what is right and won’t listen to anyone else’s opinion.
This kind of closed mind can be exhausting and inevitably leads to arguments and breakdowns in a relationship. It also invalidates your feelings because you don’t feel as if your opinions and ideas are important or that they matter.

6.They ‘play’ you against your other siblings

Does one sibling constantly gossip or badmouth to you about your other brothers or sisters? Does this undermine your relationships with them? This is one of the worst signs of toxic sibling relationships as this behaviour can cause lasting damage.
They do this to elevate their own position by making their other siblings look bad in your eyes. This is because their own behaviour is not good enough by itself, so they have to trash the reputation of others in order to look better.

7.They dismiss your feelings

We need validation when we are feeling angry, unloved, frightened, anxious or sad. When someone does not take our feelings into account, they are telling us in effect that we don’t matter. We are not important.
Our emotions are what drive us, they are interwoven into every action or behaviour that we take. To have them ignored is extremely detrimental to our psyche.

8.They are constantly criticising you

Not only do toxic siblings like to trash their brothers and sisters to other siblings in the family dynamic, but they also like to make you feel bad about yourself. They do this by constantly criticising you.
They will judge every aspect of your life and find you wanting. Nothing you do will be good enough in their eyes. Their barrage of putdowns will have a cumulative effect until you begin spending less time with them to escape the mental battles.

9.They only ever contact you when they need something

You get friends like this, ones that you only get a phone call or a text when they need money or a shoulder to cry on. And it can be exactly the same with siblings.
Do you go for months without hearing from your sibling and then suddenly out of the blue, you get an email or phone call from them?
It will start off innocently enough, perhaps asking how you are, but then the real reason for the call will soon become apparent. They want something from you.

10.They make threats all the time

Making threats is a toxic behaviour in itself. Well-adjusted people don’t tend to have to make ultimatums in order to get what they want or need in life. If your sibling is constantly making threats, it shows they do not have the mental capacity or the patience to get what they desire in a civilised way.
So how do you deal with toxic sibling relationships? It may be too late to change their behaviour, but you can certainly do something about yours.

How to deal with toxic sibling relationships

Do not engage in bad behaviour, just ignore it. If you engage in it, it may encourage your sibling to carry on.

Surround yourself with positive people

 

Ignore toxic behaviour

It is easy to doubt yourself when you have a toxic sibling. But if you are with positive well-balanced people, you’ll be able to recognise bad behaviour immediately and not put up with it.

Set clear boundaries

Some toxic behaviour is quite intrusive and can take over a person’s life. By setting clear boundaries, you can regain control.

Sever contact if necessary

Finally, there’s no rule that you have to stay in close contact with your sibling. If the situation is really bad and affecting your health, it is best to sever contact.
Do you have a toxic relationship with your sibling that you would like to talk to us about? Let us know in the comments section.
References:
  1. https://www.bustle.com/
  2. https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/

 

About the Author: Janey D.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 



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If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 06:57
Sexta-feira, 25 / 01 / 19

7 Different Types of Anger and the Hidden Causes Behind Each ~ Sherrie.

7 Different Types of Anger and the Hidden Causes Behind Each.

By Sherrie.

January 24th, 2019 

 

types of anger.

 

 

Anger is an interesting emotion which comes from many different places. Understanding the various types of anger helps you also harness this feeling.

Before you start being judgemental about anger, take pause for a moment. Anger isn’t a “sin”, but what we do with that anger is what we deem to be wrong. There are so many types of anger developed from various emotions and experiences. Depending on what life is throwing at us, anger could be a number of things.

Anger in its many forms

Without delving too deeply into religion, I will give an example. In Christianity, Christ became angry one notable time. He walked through a temple and tossed tables and kicked over stands. Why did he do this? Because he was appalled by the gambling and other “unholy” things he witnessed in a holy place.
Now, it’s not for me to say what’s good or bad, but this is an example of what I call “righteous” anger and a testimony to how anger in itself is not bad. Righteous anger, for example, is anger based on morals and beliefs, many times spiritually based, you see. There are many types of anger as well, as I have said before.
There are many types of anger, yes, and these types represent reasoning of some sort. While some anger is slow to form, others can be a rapid burst of seemingly uncontrollable rage. In this rage is where we see anger taking on negative action.
So, let’s examine the different types of anger and the causes behind them.

1. Moral or righteous anger

As I stated above in the example, there are such things as righteous anger. It’s also called moral angerbecause it comes from being upset when someone breaks rules.
If you have rules set in a household and someone in that household breaks these rules, you will experience righteous anger. This is because most rules come from beliefs. Unfortunately, some people use the defense that you think you’re better than everyone else. It’s a common defense, and usually, just a way to deflect their guilt.
Now, let me tell you a secret about righteous anger. There is a hidden meaning behind this feeling. It seems that when someone gets strict in their righteous anger, it could be their attempt at control.
The truth is, righteous anger can go too far and turn you into a controlling and manipulative individual. So, be careful with that flaming sword.

2. Behavioral anger

Of all types of anger, this one is the most volatile. Behavioral anger is usually so strong that it turns physical. Now, this doesn’t mean that this anger always causes injuries.
Sometimes individuals who use this type of anger may only throw things or punch walls. Unfortunately, sometimes this emotion does result in attacking other people, and can certainly cause injuries and even legal consequences.
There are a few hidden secrets about this type of anger. Behavioral anger can come from past trauma or neglect. Without proper upbringing, a person cannot learn to control their emotions correctly, and with trauma, behavioral anger may be the only way to deal with hurts experienced early in life.
While so dangerous, this anger can still be treated and channeled in the right direction.

3. Habitual anger

When you’ve been angry for so long, it can be hard to stop being angry. This is not a joke, it’s a real problem. Habitual anger is a perpetual state of unrest and dissatisfaction with pretty much everything and everyone. When you try to deal with those who exhibit types of anger such as this, they will most often get angrier.
The hidden aspect of this anger lies within the past and trickles down through the years. Although this type of anger may have been born early in life, it has grown, due to various negative experiences in the years following.
For instance, if you are in your 4os, like me, then you’ve had several decades to feed and grow this anger. if you’ve had issues with habitual anger, then by now, your life may be a walking nightmare. Sorry, the truth hurts….but the good news is, you can learn to heal from this too.

4. Self-harm

Yes, self-harm is more than just depression. The act of self-harm can actually be a form of anger against one’s self. When people cut their skin, they could be exhibiting anger for how they look or their own conditions. It’s a complicated matter to understand sometimes, but it’s a negative emotion which must be revealed.
The hidden aspects of self-harm can come from many places. Self-harm can come from past abuse, trauma, neglect and so on. It can also come from repeated disappointments and broken relationships.
Basically, instead of focusing anger outward, people who suffer from self-harm may focus these emotions on the person within.

5. Vengeance

One of the most common types of anger is vengeance or revenge anger. It’s a basic form of anger which has been around since the beginning of time. With this form of anger, there’s usually not a lot of premeditation, except for the plans of getting revenge which come along with the emotion.
To be honest, there is little-hidden meaning behind this type of anger. It is straightforward and to the ones who feel this emotion, it is pure in its intent. Those who exhibit vengeance feel the emotions and actions are warranted.

6. Passive-aggression

While this type of anger may seem harmless, it sometimes can do quite a bit of damage. It just doesn’t leave scars in the way you think. With passive aggressive anger, emotions tend to be pushed down for the most part.
There is resentment, sarcasm, and mockery, all hiding behind a façade. Because of their inability to express themselves in a healthy manner, those who suffer from passive-aggressive emotions will internalize what they really feel.
One hidden secret about this form of anger is that it’s said to come from childhood emotional abuse. Some children are taught to not express negative emotions, and so they grow up to think passive aggression is a logical way of dealing with problems.

7. Incidental anger

One form of anger that most people see as normal is incidental anger. The truth is, this is pretty much a normal reaction to certain situations of injustice. To have incidental anger is to witness something which should be changed and have the patience to address this in a healthy manner.
There are usually no hidden agendas or secrets where this type of anger is involved.

Dealing with the anger of all types

Different types of anger must be addressed in various ways. While some forms are easy to deal with, others can be dangerous. Sometimes even professional help will be needed when dealing with certain situations.
As I stated before, anger in itself is not a bad thing. It’s all depends on the actions and negative thought patterns that you choose to utilize when you lose your temper. For future references, learn more about what makes you angry and how you can deal with this anger in the right way.
References:
  1. https://stress.lovetoknow.com
  2. https://www.everydayhealth.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.

 
 




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If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 23:35
Sexta-feira, 25 / 01 / 19

What Is Agitated Depression and What Are Its Symptoms and Treatment Options

What Is Agitated Depression and What Are Its Symptoms and Treatment Options.

By Valerie.

January 23rd, 2019. 

 

agitated depression.

 

 

Agitated depression falls under the umbrella of the depression diagnosis. It is a form of depression where the individual is often agitated, restless and angry often.

In the past, agitated depression was known as “melancholia agitata”, but is now referred to as “mixed mania” or “mixed features”.
Agitated depression is often seen in people who are middle-aged and elderly. Younger populations tend to have more melancholic and sad features of depression. However, agitated depression can affect any person.

What Is Agitation?

Being agitated or feeling agitation can manifest in different ways. A person who is agitated will feel a severe sense of uneasiness. He or she may find it difficult to control this restlessness and uneasiness. As a result, they feel discomfort.
There is an inner restlessness that cannot be explained or controlled by the individual. When people are uncomfortable, they tend to have a short temper, uncooperative, and lash out at others.
Being agitated interferes with one’s work and social life. In worse case scenarios, they will hurt others or hurt themselves.

Symptoms of Agitated Depression

In order to be diagnosed with agitated depression, one must experience a depressive episode. Being agitated or irritable is a prominent symptom in agitated depression. A person may be described as “short-tempered”. He or she may “snap” at family or friends easily. Small things tend to annoy them.
A person with agitated depression will have outbursts and poor impulse control. This individual will be easily upset or angered whether they are big or small problems. Controlling their reactions and emotions are harder when having agitated depression.

BFRBs

Hair pulling, nail biting and skin picking are common symptoms of agitated depression. Nail biting and skin picking fall under the umbrella of body-focused repetitive behaviors (BFRBs).
Skin picking
Skin picking is known as excoriation in the medical field. This occurs when a person repetitively picks, rubs, scratches, or digs at his or her own skin. Some people pick at their skin as a form of relief with agitated depression.
This act can be relieving to the person who is currently uncomfortable or agitated. It may also be a way to distract their thoughts. However, picking at one’s skin can result in skin discoloration, scarring, and damage to the skin.
Nail biting
Excessive nail biting over time causes damage to one’s fingernails. Nail biting can also cause dental issues, mouth injuries, and infections.
This is because nail biting has the ability to open the skin. From there, numerous bacteria on a person’s hands can travel into to their mouth, and open cuts on the fingers. As a result, infections and viruses can get into the body.
Hair pulling (trichotillomania)
Hair pulling (trichotillomania) is when a person repetitively pulls out hair from their scalp, eyelashes, eyebrows and other body areas. Like with nail biting and skin picking, pulling out hair causes a sense of pleasure and relief to the individual.
On the other hand, pulling out hair can cause permanent damage and scarring. As a result, the hairs will not grow back and can hinder one’s social and work functioning. If a person becomes agitated, they may consciously or automatically start to pick at their skin, bite their nails, or pull out hairs.

In addition, an individual must have two or more of the following symptoms:

Motor agitation
Motor agitation, such as fidgeting, hand-wringing, pacing, etc. is a common symptom found in agitated depression. These actions give the individual a sense of relief, calming, and distraction from their agitation.
Psychic agitation
Psychic agitation or intense inner tension is described as internal conflict or inability to provide relief to oneself. This can manifest in a number of ways, such as irritability, anger, outbursts, excitement, and mania.
Racing thoughts
Racing or crowded thoughts are a common symptom. One’s thoughts will be simple thoughts or ruminating thoughts on the events of the past or present. They can be good or bad, and whatever comes to the person’s mind.
The individual experiencing this will find it hard to control or stop their thoughts from coming up in their consciousness. Because of this, it can be difficult concentrating at school or work.
Falling asleep may also be hard because of incessant thoughts and worries. They may also have a hard time making everyday decisions.

Bipolar Disorder

Agitated depression is commonly seen in people diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but it can also be seen in people who have a major depressive disorder.
In bipolar disorder, agitated depression is seen during the hypomanic state. Hypomania is a symptom seen in the bipolar II diagnosis, where the individual does not reach a full, manic episode. During this time, the individual will experience heightened irritability and will be easily distracted and unable to control their racing thoughts.

Depressive Disorder

Symptoms of agitated depression in major depressive disorder tend to be around not being able to calm oneself down. This individual will pace wring his or her hands, and have difficulty sitting still.
Stress can be a trigger that causes agitation symptoms to appear. Trauma and reminders of a traumatic event are also a trigger for agitated depression.

Treatment

Recognizing the signs of agitation is a good first step in treatment. When a person can recognize the signs, they can take steps to manage the feelings in a healthy manner. Agitated depression can be treated in a number of ways.

Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy is a common treatment for agitated depression and its symptoms. Common psychotherapy interventions include cognitive behavioral therapy and mindfulness. Often times, psychotherapy and medication are combined as a way to treat agitated depression.

Medication

Medication is another treatment option for agitated depression. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and mood stabilizers have been effective in helping to alleviate agitated depression symptoms.
SSRIs and mood stabilizers have also been shown to work well with the agitation symptoms experienced during depressive episodes. They also help to alleviate other symptoms, such as anxiety, panic disorder symptoms, mania, and PTSD related symptoms.
The downside of SSRIs is they can take 4 to 6 weeks to feel a therapeutic response. This can cause frustration in patients as they look for faster relief from their agitated depression.

Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT)

Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) is another treatment option for agitated depression. ECT involves administering electrical stimulation to the brain. These electrical currents cause small, brief seizures.
Before undergoing ECT, the patient is given anesthesia and muscle relaxer before the procedure. This procedure is usually used after other treatment options have been used.  If the other treatments have been ineffective, ECT is an option.
Agitated depression is a type of depression that can affect a person’s overall quality and happiness in life. Those diagnosed face a number of daily challenges, as well as a higher risk for self-harming and suicidal thoughts and behaviors.
With proper care and treatment, agitated depression can be managed and significantly improve a person’s quality of life in many aspects.
 


About the Author: Valerie


I'm a law student who is fond of reading and writing about interesting topics on science (especially cognitive science and psychology), technology, and different extraterrestrial and paranormal stuff. I'm passionate about movies, travelling and photography.
 
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publicado por achama às 04:39
A Luz está a revelar a Verdade, e esta libertar-nos-á! -Só é real o AMOR Incondicional. -Quando o Amor superar o amor pelo poder, o mundo conhecerá a Paz; Jimi Hendrix. -Somos almas a ter uma experiência humana!

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