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Sexta-feira, 01 / 05 / 20

5 Signs a Lack of Self-Awareness Is Hindering Your Growth

5 Signs a Lack of Self-Awareness Is Hindering Your Growth

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

April 29th, 2020

 

When you have a lack of self-awareness, you might feel a sense of inner chaos. You won’t know why you do the things you do, or what motivates you to do them. You just flow through life with no real direction.
Self-awareness is all about knowing yourself. If you are self-aware, then you’re in touch with your wants and needs. A self-aware person understands their own personality and what makes them tick. You would know yourself like you know a friend and accept their strengths and weaknesses all the same. With self-awareness comes a sort of calmness. You’re aware of your true inner self and are able to make changes or accept what you have to.
If you lack self-awareness, you’re hindering your personal growth. You can only work on your flaws if you can identify what they are and why you have them. Similarly, you can only play to your strengths if you know what they are.
Understanding if you are suffering from a lack of self-awareness is the first step to take when you’re hoping to achieve some personal growth.

5 Signs of a Lack of Self-Awareness

1. You’re Defensive

Being able to accept flaws and failures is a skill that very self-aware people have. If you lack self-awareness, then you’re likely to be unable to process and understand criticisms well. Without a genuine and balanced view of your inner self, it’s going to be easy to rock you with slight complaints.
Some people who have a lack of self-awareness will be defensive of themselves when someone gives them a critique. Instead of seeing themselves in a realistic light, they see what they want to see. This means everything they believe is rocked when someone has a complaint.
Rather than listening to the feedback you’ve been given and taking the information on board; you go straight to the defensive. You’d rather argue for hours about your shortcomings than accept that you’re flawed. This is because of a lack of connection with yourself. If you don’t know how to communicate with yourself, even the smallest criticism will feel like an attack.
Surprisingly, this could also apply to compliments. If you’re lacking in self-awareness, you might only notice your flaws. Instead of being in touch with yourself in a balanced way, you can only see one side. You might be defensive when receiving compliments, assuming it’s a joke or that the offering was just plain wrong. You could find yourself arguing back, giving defensive reasons why you shouldn’t accept the compliment.

2. You Have No Control Over Your Emotions

Knowing yourself means knowing your emotions. If you can’t identify the emotions you’re feeling or the triggers that caused them, then you’re likely to have a lack of self-awareness. People who have no control over their emotions tend to fly off the handle regularly because they aren’t able to settle themselves. When you have a good sense of self-awareness, you become able to not only identify your triggers but identify what you need to do to solve them.
Having no emotional control means often avoiding situations that might be emotionally arousing. If you’re used to being unable to handle how you feel, then you probably choose not to experience emotions at all. This sounds smart at surface level, but living means embracing emotions – good and bad.
Having a lack of self-awareness with little emotional control will put your friendships, relationships, and career at risk. No one enjoys being around a person who spirals out often with no real understanding of why. You might get angry too easily or be too quick to become hysterical at minor negative moments.

3. You Never Take the Blame

Similar to being defensive, making excuses is a way of rejecting your flaws. There is always a reason for your behavior or decisions that don’t even involve your own shortcomings.
For example, being late for an event. Instead of admitting that you should have done better, you’ll find a hundred excuses. There was traffic, your alarm didn’t go off, your dog ate your shoes. Self-aware people are much better at saying sorry, and that they’ll simply try harder next time.
Your excuses may be totally valid at times. The difference between having or lacking self-awareness is the ability to take on board what you might have learned (for example, to set an extra alarm next time) and admitting a failure this time. A sign of personal growth is being able to accept a mistake without anger or embarrassment.
People who lack good self-awareness also consider themselves to be innocent bystanders in life. They acknowledge that something isn’t right, but they are convinced that they aren’t to blame. Everyone else is. Group projects fail because of the others, right?
If you don’t see the connection between your actions and the outcome, then you’ll never grow as a person. No more excuses, no more shifting the blame. By developing a connection with your inner self, you’ll be better able to accept that you haven’t been at your best and allow that to help you grow.

4. You Are Never Satisfied

If you don’t truly know yourself, you won’t know what you really want from life. If you have a lack of self-awareness, you won’t be truly aware of your hopes and dreams. This means you’ll just be floating through life, doing what feels right for the time being, but isn’t given you that feeling of fulfillment.
Without that inner connection, you’re destined to lead a boring life. You’ll simply feel stagnant. Stuck in a “just alright” life because you never got in touch with your true self. When you get to know yourself as a friend, you’ll know where you want to be. Knowing what motivates you to get up each day will propel you forward.
Similarly, in your relationships, lacking self-awareness will mean you accept treatment and a lifestyle that doesn’t make you feel satisfied.

5. You Have Beliefs You Do Not Understand

Perhaps the most obvious sign of having a lack of self-awareness is having beliefs you can’t explain. These might be religious or political, or just morals and values you navigate your life by. Instead of having self-awareness that causes you to connect with your inner self, you’ve just taken on the beliefs of the crowd. This crowd might be the people you spend your time with now or the way you were taught to believe as a child.
If you can’t fight for your beliefs and answer the question “why do you feel that way?”, then you might be lacking in self-awareness. You’ve taken on ideas at a superficial level because it’s what you’re used to. You haven’t developed the thought and meaning behind these beliefs as people with self-awareness do.
When you look inwards and get to know yourself, you might realize some of those beliefs don’t sit well with you anymore. You might even see you have important values that you never knew you had.

A lack of self-awareness forces you to live a surface level life.

Your career, relationships, and friendships may never feel meaningful enough because you don’t know what you genuinely want. Being self-aware could have the power to change your life. When you give yourself time to become self-aware, your personal growth will take off, and you’ll begin truly living your best life.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://www.inc.com
 
 
 
 

 

Becky Storey
 

 




 

About the Author: Becky Storey


 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 01:22
Sábado, 25 / 04 / 20

Control Over the Ego and Emotions.

Control Over the Ego and Emotions.

Mike Quinsey's Higher Self.

Channeled by Mike Quinsey.

April 24th, 2020

 

  

With time on your hands you all have a unique opportunity to consider your degree of evolution and whether you are firmly on the path to Ascension. It is very important at this point in time as in real terms you do not have that much longer to firmly set your sights on your evolution and take the golden opportunity that is before you to ascend. If it is your goal and you have made every effort to adequately prepare yourself, no doubt you are aware of the need to push forwards and never lose sight of it. With so much happening around you it would be easy to become distracted, so the need to keep well focused on what you are doing is so important.

To be released from the continual challenges that you have had to face will come with Ascension, and the nearer you get to it the easier it will become. Even at this particular time you will notice subtle changes as you start to re-assess your progress. The main objective is to put your ego in a position where it cannot dictate how you respond to any future challenges, as by now you should have control over your emotions. No more should you automatically re-act to situations that could otherwise involve loss of self-control. You are the master where your feelings are concerned, and by maintaining a peaceful and loving attitude regardless of what is happening around you are proving your ability to keep calm. This way you are continually lifting your vibrations and maintaining your path to completion.

We know the tasks are very trying, but that is of course their intention and cover aspects of evolution that are vital to you as you climb higher and higher on the evolutionary path. However, you are never alone and your Guides are always on hand to give helpful advice and they will also arrange matters to ensure you keep to your chosen path, and try their best to stop you from straying. You can rest assured that if you feel that you are ready to advance your evolution they will point you in the right direction. You can be certain that if you should stray off your path every help will be given to get you back upon it.

You will be part of a great celebration after the Event finally takes place, because each of you undertook an enormous task to find your way back to the Light, after being thrown into the darkness and loneliness of the lower vibrations. Whilst you have always had your Guides around you, few souls have been immediately aware of their presence. However, it was known that many of you would raise their consciousness levels as time progressed and more experience was gained. The few have helped many others find their path and often it has started through following the teachings of their religion. In time through many incarnations in various other religious orders, a soul has been able to discern the truth and eventually acknowledge the existence of the God inside each soul.

It must be pointed out that whilst on Earth you are but a small aspect of your Godself, and it is understandable that you find it difficult to accept how great you really are. However, in time as you evolve even higher you will come to understand that your Godself exists on the other side of the veil. There are many surprises in store for you as you rise higher and higher, reaching levels that are way beyond those that the negative forces can achieve. You will leave them behind to experience their own demise, the result of leading a life of deceit and intent to bring others down with them. In the ultimate all such souls will be given another chance, but will first have to make amends for all of the negative actions they have been involved in.

At no stage are souls punished for their wrong doings, but have to make amends through which they learn the lessons in life. All is fairly operated and every soul is given opportunities to rise up again once their intentions to do so become clear, there is always help given to lead the way. Those souls who drop down into the lowest of the low levels are almost beyond redemption but even so they are never given up. Many souls that are incarnate now are those who have progressed sufficiently to be given an opportunity to ascend, and they will be helped to advance in a way that does not affect their freewill choice.

As you may imagine much is now happening to root out the dark Ones whilst they are largely isolated due to the Coronavirus, and it will occur with all speed to stop them from escaping. You may ponder the fact that in a period when the Light appears non-active it is quite the opposite. At a time when so much has come to a standstill, the Forces of Light have taken the initiative, and are busy taking the dark Ones into captivity. Those who travel into the future have seen the possibility of the Light being able to turn current matters to their advantage, and were therefore fully prepared to act at a minutes notice to the shutdown of virtually all of Humanity.

Out of a situation that could easily have cause much more harm, so to say the tables have been turned on the dark Ones, no doubt to their surprise and dismay. Dear Ones, the end game has started in earnest and there is only going to be one winner, how else could it be with the backing of the Forces of Light. Nothing is set in stone except Ascension that is a Cosmic event beyond the interference of the dark Ones. They are in disarray and lack co-ordination to be able to stop the outcome in favour of the Light. They will not admit that their cause has been lost and in desperation strike out at whatever is in their way.

Use the time you have on your hands to consider your position, where you are going next as decisions made now will determine how well you progress in the future. Each time you face a challenge there is always a chance the dark Ones will use it to distract you from your goal, so be alert and aware of what is happening around you.

I leave you with love and blessings, and may the Light brighten your days and path to completion. This message comes through my Higher Self, my God Self and every soul has the same connection to God.


In Love and Light.

Mike Quinsey.





 


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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 
 
With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.
 
 
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publicado por achama às 16:02
Sábado, 25 / 04 / 20

The Guarded Personality and Its 6 Hidden Powers.

The Guarded Personality and Its 6 Hidden Powers.

By Anna LeMind, B.A.

April 24th, 2020

guarded personality powers behaviors traits.

 
An individual with a guarded personality struggles with showing their affection to other people. If someone you love is a guarded person, you know exactly what it means.
This is not a person who will tell you he or she loves you a dozen times a day. S/he will hardly ever tell you this. They will not give you compliments or express their affection in any other way. They won’t be using lovey-dovey names either. And of course, they will never talk about their feelings. Sounds familiar? If your loved one behaves in this way, it seems that you are in a relationship with a guarded person.
Yes, a person like this is not easy to deal with in a relationship. This kind of emotionally distant behavior may feel like they just don’t care. However, in reality, nothing could be further from the truth. Guarded doesn’t equal cold-hearted. More often than not, guarded people are deeply caring and loyal but have no way to show it to those they love.
Now, the question is, is there something wrong with people who have a guarded personality?

Why Do People Become Guarded?

Guarded behavior tends to stem from a person’s innate personality traits or early childhood experiences. But this is not always the case. Sometimes, you become guarded as a result of disappointments and emotional wounds.
Here are the most common factors that shape a guarded personality:

1. Innate personality traits

Inborn aspects of the personality such as a temperament type or introversion/extroversion can lead to guarded behavior in relationships.
It often has to do with emotional unavailability. However, when we say that someone is emotionally unavailable or detached, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are cold-hearted. It may simply mean that a person lacks emotional intelligence or has trouble expressing their emotions.
Moreover, studies show that while qualities like empathy and emotional intelligence can be improved, they tend to greatly rely on hereditary factors. Thus, your guarded loved one may be this way simply because of his or her genetic makeup.

2. Lack of parental love

Sometimes people become guarded because they, in turn, were raised by guarded and emotionally unavailable parents. And it’s not only about the genetic predisposition that we discussed above.
You see, it’s a vicious circle. Emotionally distant people don’t give enough affection to their children, and as a result, these children develop into emotionally distant adults.
Parental and especially maternal love is a basic factor that determines your approach to relationships as an adult. When your mother is emotionally unavailable, you don’t have a healthy example of handling and expressing emotions. And since most children unconsciously learn from their parents’ behavior, you may grow into a guarded adult too.

3. Trauma or negative past experiences

Sometimes we get overly withdrawn and guarded as a result of negative experiences such as a painful breakup or trauma. Once again, the roots of the guarded personality may be hidden in a person’s childhood.
Being a victim of childhood neglect or abuse distorts your ability to process emotions and form healthy relationships as an adult. You may suffer from mental disorders such as social anxiety. As a result, you develop trust issues and an intense fear of rejection and become overly cautious about approaching other people.
Similarly, negative relationship history can make you behave this way. For example, you may have been betrayed, cheated on, or taken for granted. You may have been through a few toxic and abusive relationships. Or maybe you feel like you attract the wrong people all the time and are disappointed with a fruitless search for the right partner.

4. Reserved personality

 
introvert in modern society
Many introverts struggle with expressing themselves in a relationshipBeing an introvert is not to say that you are a guarded person though. It just means that you are more restrained when it comes to showing your emotions and communicating your intimate thoughts to those around you.
So you won’t see an introvert calling someone a ‘bestie’ or a ‘friend forever’ a couple of weeks after meeting them. We are very careful about what we say and will never throw out big phrases like ‘I love you’ without actually meaning it.

The Hidden Power of the Guarded Personality

Living with a guarded personality looks like a challenge, doesn’t it? As a guarded person, you never meant to be cold and distant – it is just a behavior that comes naturally to you but doesn’t always reflect your true feelings.
You often want to tell your dear ones how much you care about them, but you simply… can’t. It is as if some invisible force is holding you from showing your love. It feels utterly awkward to even use affectionate words in your speech.
However, despite all these struggles, guarded people have many powerful qualities. Here are some valuable traits of the guarded personality:

1. They are self-sufficient and independent

Being a guarded person often equals being a loner with a reserved personality. Yes, sometimes, people may be so disappointed and hurt that they don’t let anyone in, even those who deserve the risk.
But if you were born this way, having a guarded personality means that you are independent and self-sufficient. So you really don’t need anyone except for a couple of close people you can trust.
And it’s a great power because you rely only on yourself and don’t put your happiness in someone else’s hands. As long as you are not lonely and too withdrawn from society, being guarded can be a smart approach to dealing with people. After all, you can’t blindly trust and open up to those around you. So a certain degree of caution is always necessary.

2. They value quality over quantity

Someone with a guarded personality won’t waste their time on the wrong people. They are self-sufficient and are doing fine on their own, remember? So hanging out with people who make them feel bored or being in a bad relationship just doesn’t make sense.
For this reason, guarded people will never have big social circles full of fake and toxic friends or just random personalities they don’t resonate with. They will keep their circle small but high-quality.
A guarded person may have just a couple of friends throughout their life, and they are perfectly fine with it. Their first priority is to make sure they don’t waste their time on the people who don’t deserve it. And of course, they don’t want to let the wrong people in and get hurt.

3. They have realistic expectations about life and people

More than ever before, we have too high expectations when it comes to relationships and life in general. To the point that they become unrealistic. We constantly see perfect lives, flawless faces, and fairytale-like love stories on social media, TV, and movies. As a result, we start to look for things that simply don’t exist.
But guess what? These dream-like lives and idealistic relationships exist only on the screen. If someone’s life or marriage looks perfect on Instagram or Facebook, it doesn’t mean that this is true in real life too. Guarded people know this better than anyone.
A guarded person never expects too much from others. Quite the opposite, to say the truth. If you were hurt in the past, at some point, you no longer believe in fairytales. Being guarded when it comes to feelings also means that you don’t get overly enthusiastic about people. And it’s a wise thing to do.
Having a realistic approach to relationships means not expecting too much from people and accepting them just the way they are. After all, keeping your expectations low, or at least realistic, is a sure way to avoid too many disappointments.

4. They have firm personal boundaries and know the value of privacy

 
guarded personality personal boundaries
A guarded person won’t tolerate invasive people who don’t respect others’ personal boundaries. Such individuals threaten their sacred personal space, so they will just withdraw. You won’t see a guarded personality become a people-pleaser either. They know how to say no and set clear and firm personal boundaries.
And of course, they will respect other people’s boundaries too. A guarded person will never become nosy or rude. They know the value of privacy and personal space too well to do that.

5. They read people and understand their motives

As you grow older, you learn to read people and their motives. Especially if you’ve had a few bad experiences with relationships and friendships. Yes, sometimes, you may become a little too cautious and even paranoid. But more often than not, your gut instinct is right about people. I would say that a guarded person has a kind of radar that detects toxic, shallow, and fake personalities.
You quickly understand if someone is going to take advantage of you. Or if you just don’t vibe with that person. You read the nuances in their behavior, and if something is not right, you just withdraw. Being on your own is much better than being surrounded by the wrong people.

6. They are real

Finally, guarded people possess a quality that is becoming increasingly rare in our world – they are real. They will never fake their feelings or personality traits. A guarded individual may not be the nicest or the most easy-going person you will ever meet, but they will probably be the realest one. If you manage to approach and make friends with a guarded person, you will get a loyal and authentic friend.
They will never lie or pretend for the sake of being polite or to take advantage of someone. If they don’t like you or don’t agree with you, they won’t pretend that they do. This also means that a guarded personality won’t tolerate these behaviors in other people.
Not caring about impressing others or pretending to be someone you are not is a great power. Our society has become too fake and needs more genuine people, even if they don’t seem nice and warm at first.

There’s More to the Guarded Personality Than It Seems

As you can see from the above, being guarded comes with certain struggles but also powers. If you have a guarded person in your life, cherish them. It’s because they are probably the most loyal and authentic person you will ever meet.

Do you resonate with the description above or know a person who fits it? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
 

Anna LeMind
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About the Author: Anna LeMind

Anna is the founder and lead editor of the website Learning-mind.com. She is passionate about learning new things and reflecting on thought-provoking ideas. She writes about science, psychology and other related topics. She is particularly interested in topics regarding introversion, consciousness and subconscious, perception, human mind's potential, as well as the nature of reality and the universe.
 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.
 
 
Discernment is recommended.
 
 
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 



 

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publicado por achama às 05:08
Domingo, 12 / 04 / 20

How to Handle Emotional Overwhelm as an Empath in a Crisis

How to Handle Emotional Overwhelm as an Empath in a Crisis 

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

April 11th, 2020

 

Being an empath means constantly picking up on the emotions of other people. Be it positive, or more often negative, empaths can feel and manifest emotions that aren’t their own. This is usually uncomfortable but manageable under typical circumstances. Unfortunately, we aren’t under typical circumstances right now, and negative emotions are everywhere. Empaths everywhere are taking on more feelings than ever, and rapidly developing emotional overwhelm.
The whole world is under constant stress. I can’t imagine there are many people who are handling the current coronavirus pandemic with ease. For an emotional empath, this means being constantly exposed to very intense emotions.
Empaths are often able to pick up on the emotions of others through means other than being up close and personal with others. Television, posts online and phone calls are all possible sources of emotional overwhelm.

What Is Emotional Overwhelm?

You enter a state of emotional overwhelm when the intensity of emotions you feel outweigh your ability to handle them. When empaths are exposed to a lot of serious negative emotions, they can be quickly overwhelmed and find themselves unable to process what they’re experiencing.
In a state of emotional overwhelm, your ability to think and be rational is hindered because of the mess of thoughts in your mind. This painful state of mind can get in the way of daily life if it’s not addressed well. It could even disrupt relationships if it prevents proper rationalization and communication.
It’s common for non-empaths to experience emotional overwhelm too. There are a whole host of possible causes, such as stress, trauma, difficult relationships. Major life changes or events, just as we’re all experiencing right now, can bring on emotional overwhelm for anybody. This means empaths could be taking on multiple doses.

Signs You’re Suffering from Emotional Overwhelm

In any situation, it’s important to be able to detect when you’re developing emotional overwhelm before it’s too late. Most notably, emotional overwhelm will cause a big reaction to seemingly small problems. When your bucket is full, even the smallest droplets will cause it to overflow.
When your mind is cluttered with too many thoughts, feelings, and emotions, as empaths often are, you might have difficulty focusing on tasks you’re supposed to be doing. You might even find yourself struggling to sleep, despite feeling more tired.
Emotional overwhelm can be similar to depression. The inability to process negative thoughts means you might not feel the same joy during usually “good” experiences.
Emotional overwhelm, much like any mental health issue, can cause physical symptoms. The tension in your body caused by being under inescapable stress can lead to headaches and muscle pains and even nausea and dizziness.
Ultimately, emotional overwhelm can result in missed meals, failed work projects and lost relationships. Fortunately, emotional overwhelm doesn’t have to be a long-term issue. There are ways to cope with it.

How to Cope with Emotional Overwhelm

There’s no need to let the emotional overwhelm take over your life. Handling emotions as an empath is almost second nature, but in very tense situations like we’re in right now, even the most experienced empath needs some guidance.

Remove the Stimuli

The easiest way to cope with emotional overwhelm is to reduce the influx of negative stimuli. Try to stay away from places online where people might be sharing their negative feelings. It might feel wrong at first, but any empath should also consider limiting their time as a friend’s “shoulder to cry on”.
Right now, everyone has very intense emotions and if it’s not going to be healthy for you to take on multiple cases of distress, it might be best to be honest and admit you can’t be their go-to for now.
Obviously, no one should be out in public now unless it’s really essential, but if you needed more reasons to stay in, here’s one. As an empath, you’re going to pick up on an awful lot of stress and sadness even if you’re only visiting the store.

Learn to Release It

Of course, it’s easier said than done for anyone, especially empath, but it’s very beneficial to learn to let go of those emotions. Letting negative emotions, especially the ones that don’t belong to you, sink too deep will really harm your mental state.
To reduce your emotional overwhelm you could try a number of activities, like meditation or yoga, or even screaming loudly to release the tension if that’s your kind of thing. When you feel those emotions bubble up, breathe and release them. It’s important to remind yourself that they aren’t yours to harbor.

Let It in

You know what they say – if you can’t beat them, join them. If you find yourself totally unable to release the emotions you’ve taken on that have caused emotional overwhelm, then let them in. Don’t wallow in them, simply acknowledge and greet them.
Note what each feeling is, be it anger, sadness or anxiety. Note whether you feel they’re your own or something you picked up from the external world.
File those emotions in their correct place, and suddenly you’ll find it easier to think straight. A cluttered mind is hard to function with. Consider journaling, or just opening up and confiding in someone. Once you can see things more clearly, the emotional overwhelm will reduce significantly.

Mental Distractions

When processing and talking, meditation or other mindfulness activities don’t seem to be doing the job, you can always try distractions to reduce the impact of emotional overwhelm. Everyone needs some peace in their minds at times. There’s nothing wrong with involving yourself in something that will occupy your mind.
Reading, drawing and other arts are great for absorbing your attention. There’s also nothing wrong with video games and computers if you aren’t of the arty persuasion.

Physical Distractions

When you feel the negative effects of emotional overwhelm coming on, try bringing your attention back to your body instead of your mind. You could try fidget device for a momentary distraction. Exercise of any form is a great physical distraction.
For immediate distraction and a return to your body, not your mind, try extreme sensations. You could put your hands in hot or cold water, or even pinch yourself a little when you feel like your mind is running away from you.
Times are incredibly uneasy right now. None of us are handling it particularly well, and empaths can feel that. If, as an empath, you’re falling quickly into a state of emotional overwhelm, take it easy on yourself. Look after your mind and preserve your own mental health first. Times like these are difficult but not impossible.
References:
  1. https://www.goodtherapy.org
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com
 
 
 
 

 

Becky Storey
 

 




 

About the Author: Becky Storey


 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 05:19
Sexta-feira, 10 / 04 / 20

Spiritual Loneliness: The Most Profound Type of Loneliness.

Spiritual Loneliness: 

The Most Profound Type of Loneliness.

By Anna LeMind, M.A.

April 9th, 2020

.

 

 

Loneliness is more widespread today than ever before. In our modern world, we are staying virtually connected all the time but feel more detached from each other in real life. Many people find themselves socially and emotionally lonely, but few know what spiritual loneliness is.
Recent events have further heightened the feelings of loneliness. Social distancing measures require us to stay at home and avoid unnecessary contact with other people. With this mandatory isolation, it makes sense why you might be feeling lonely right now, especially if you are an outgoing person.
But did you know that loneliness has many facets? And today, we will talk about the most profound and painful one – the spiritual loneliness.

4 Types of Loneliness

I believe there are four basic types of loneliness:
  1. Social loneliness: the most common type. You could be feeling socially lonely right now when you are stuck in your home and can’t see your friends or family. You can also experience it when you lack social connections or activities.
  2. Emotional loneliness: doesn’t necessarily involve being alone or lacking connections. You could have friends and family but feel emotionally disconnected from them. It comes from a lack of understanding and the inability to relate to those around you.
  3. Mental loneliness: the inability to discuss things that feel important and interesting to you with other people. Similarly to emotional loneliness, it can come from a lack of understanding – but in an intellectual sense of it. A lack of intellectually compatible or like-minded individuals to share your interests and views with.
  4. Spiritual loneliness: doesn’t come from a lack of social or emotional connections. An overall feeling of detachment from everyone and belonging nowhere. Feeling that your life is incomplete and lacks meaning. A vague sense of longing, but you can’t say what or who you long for.

How Does Spiritual Loneliness Feel?

While the other types of loneliness tend to be temporary and occur only in certain periods of your life, spiritual one is not. This feeling haunts you for a lifetime. You may not experience it every day, but you know it is always there and sooner or later, it will show up again.
Here are a few symptoms of spiritual loneliness:

Life is passing you by

It may seem like life is passing you by and everyone else participates in something you are a stranger to. You may feel disconnected from reality and clueless about life while everyone else seems to know what they are doing.
No matter what you do, where you are or who you are with, it feels not enough. As if you long for some unknown place, person or thing. Like there is something bigger, deeper and more meaningful and your life lacks it.

Longing for unknown somewhere and belonging nowhere

There is a beautiful Welsh word “Hiraeth”, which stands for a longing for home. However, it describes a very specific type of homesickness – for something that no longer exists or may have never existed. Hiraeth could be a longing for the homeland of your ancestors you have never been to.
I believe this word perfectly describes the feeling of spiritual loneliness. It’s like you don’t belong in this world and your place is somewhere else, far from here, but you don’t know where this is.
You may have felt this way when gazing into the starry sky on a dark summer night. It’s as if some far-away unknown homeland is calling you through the depths of the universe. However, with spiritual loneliness, you feel this way on a regular basis, not only when you look at the sky.

Detachment from everyone

Spiritual loneliness gets even more intense when you are surrounded by other people. You feel that you just can’t relate to them no matter what you do.
Have you ever been in the company of people you barely know who were discussing something you didn’t have a clue about? For example, their common acquaintance or a hobby they share. So you just sat there feeling a total stranger, unable to take part in the conversation. In situations like this, anyone would feel lonely.
But as a spiritually lonely person, this is your normal emotional state when you are with other people, especially at a large social gathering. It’s like there is an invisible wall that separates you from others.
In this example with the group discussion, the energies of people who participate in the conversation sort of unite into one big sphere. And you remain outside of this sphere. Everyone is connected with each other – but you. You always play the role of an outside observer.
This is what spiritual loneliness feels like.

The Spiritual Loneliness of Deep Thinkers

I believe this type of loneliness affects deep thinkers in the first place. All those people who are prone to reflection, self-analysis and overthinking. Visionaries, romantics and dreamers. It’s not a coincidence that many writers refer to spiritual loneliness in their literary works, even though they don’t use this specific word for it.For example, Russian existentialist author Fyodor Dostoevsky writes in his famous novel “Idiot”: 
What had so tormented him was the idea that he was a stranger to all this, that he was outside this glorious festival. What was this universe? What was this grand, eternal pageant to which he had yearned from his childhood up, and in which he could never take part? […]
Everything knew its path and loved it, went forth with a song and returned with a song; only he knew nothing, understood nothing, neither men nor words nor any of nature’s voices; he was a stranger and an outcast.
Albert Einstein, a genius physicist who was also an INTP and a deep thinker, probably suffered from spiritual loneliness too. He said:
It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely.

Is It Possible to Overcome Spiritual Loneliness?

If you are a spiritually lonely person, there is no ‘magic’ way to stop being one once and for all. There are only ways to silence this pain of not belonging. The problem with spiritual loneliness is that you can’t find what exactly is missing from your life and what you long for.
You know those times when you try to remember an exciting dream you just had, but no matter how hard you try, it just slips away from your mind. This is how it goes with spiritual loneliness. No matter how hard you try to find its source, you can’t. It’s just the way it is.
For example, a way to end social loneliness is to go out more often and make new connections. Emotional loneliness is more tricky, but it is still possible to find people you can relate to and who will understand you. With mental loneliness, all it takes is to find a like-minded person to have deep conversations with. Not easy, but achievable.
But as for spiritual loneliness, you can’t solve a problem without knowing its cause. And the existential depth of this loneliness makes it difficult to deal with.
In my experience, the only way to cope with it is to accept it.
Accept the fact that spiritual loneliness will be your lifetime companion. Make friends with it. When it shows up, don’t try to get rid of it. This will only lead to resentment and bottled emotions. Instead, let yourself feel it in all its depth.
At some point, you will get used to it. You will see how pain and darkness turn into bittersweet nostalgia and melancholic thoughtfulness.
And most importantly, if you relate to the above, remember that no matter how spiritually lonely you are, you are not alone.
 

Anna LeMind
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About the Author: Anna LeMind

Anna is the founder and lead editor of the website Learning-mind.com. She is passionate about learning new things and reflecting on thought-provoking ideas. She writes about science, psychology and other related topics. She is particularly interested in topics regarding introversion, consciousness and subconscious, perception, human mind's potential, as well as the nature of reality and the universe.
 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.
 
 
Discernment is recommended.
 
 
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 



 

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publicado por achama às 04:22
Sexta-feira, 27 / 03 / 20

5 Proven Ways Mindfulness Will Strengthen Your Mental Health.

5 Proven Ways Mindfulness Will Strengthen Your Mental Health.

Alicia Seibel, B.A.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

March 27th, 2020.

Mindfulness Mental Health.

 

 

 
What Is Mindfulness?
 
Mindfulness is your ability to bring awareness to experiences, feelings, and emotions. Buddhists believed that through prayer or mediation, you can shift your thoughts away from distraction and into intention.
 
The mind has on average 3,000 thoughts per minute. A Harvard study claims that the average person is ‘lost in thought’ for at least 47% of the day. That’s a lot of thoughts that are running on autopilot!
 
What’s incredible to me is the thoughts and feelings we have control how we feel and what we believe consciously and subconsciously. Allowing thoughts to run on autopilot is dangerous because you’re not aware of or in control of your mind. The practice of mindfulness will grant you the ability to take that power back. Doing this will strengthen your mental health profoundly.
 
 
The Act Of Being Mindful
 
Bringing your thoughts, feelings and emotions into intentional awareness is only the first step to mindfulness. The second step is choosing how to process those thoughts in a healthy, productive way. I like to view mindfulness as a nurturing lens we can see life through that helps us make the best decision on what to do next. For example:
 
A mindful person will be accepting of their thoughts, feelings and emotions. They will view them without judgement or fear. They will take time to process and validate their thoughts, feelings and emotions. They will decide how to act on that on that information in a healthy and productive way.
 
A non-mindful person will usually seek external blame for their problems. They will allow their thoughts, feelings and emotions to run on autopilot, which will create limiting beliefs about themselves and their abilities. As a result, they will react poorly to highly stressful and emotional situations.
 
Mindfulness systems can include mediation, breathing techniques, guided imagery or other practices that relax the body and mind. I acknowledge that mindfulness cannot be attained with all thoughts all the time, but it is proven that people who do practice mindfulness have a healthier and happier life.
Mindfulness Affects Your Mental Health
 
The Oxford dictionary defines mental health as ‘a person’s condition regarding their psychological and emotional wellbeing.’
 
A person’s mental health can be affected by how they think, feel and act. Since we all experience life through our own mental/emotional lens, our own ability to be mindful is directly correlated to our mental health.
 
More than 450 million people worldwide suffer from mental disorders. As a result, many intervention strategies have been explored by therapists and other mental health professionals. Mindful-based interventions have been very popular in the last decade. There have been many studies showing the impact and success of mindfulness.
 
Let’s discover 5 proven ways mindfulness will strengthen your mental health.
 
 
5 Ways Being Mindful Can Benefit Your Mental Health
 
1. Better Stress Management
 
Stress affects everyone in the world. Too much stress or chronic stress can cause depression, anxiety, cardiovascular disease and even suicide. The ability to relieve stress that can make a huge impact on your mental health and wellbeing. Which is where mindfulness becomes an asset.
 
A 5-year study demonstrated how mindfulness activities, such as meditation, lowered stress in patients. By engaging patients in mindful-based stress reduction activities every single day for 8 weeks, patients were able to manage their stress better than the test group. This shows how powerful mindfulness can be on our ability to manage stress and promote healthier emotional wellbeing.
 
2. Emotional Intelligence
 
Emotional intelligence is the capacity to be aware and in control of your emotions. In particular, the ability to self-regulate your own emotions can greatly affect your mental health. Emotional regulation is measured by your ability to control strong emotions by not acting on raw feelings in an impulsive way.
 
Throughout our lives, we experience a lot of strong emotions, from anger and frustration to sadness and fear. When people cannot regulate their emotions, it leads to more conflict, emotional outbursts, stress, and other mental health issues.
 
A study done by the American Psychological Association showed that mindfulness plays a role in a person’s ability to regulate their emotions. Instead of just experiencing the emotion on autopilot, test subjects began to differentiate their emotions in a different way. As a result, they processed the emotion more productively and was able to self-regulate easier.
 
3. Decreased Depressive Symptoms
 
Having depressive symptoms affects much of the population. According to Healthline, 16.2 million people struggle with depressive symptoms in the U.S. alone. Depression is huge in the mental health world, and the numbers only seem to be going up.
 
Studies show how mindful-based interventions are efficient at decreasing depressive symptoms and depression relapse in patients. It demonstrates how mindfulness-based treatment allows patients to process and regulate their emotions in a different way from those who did not receive the treatment.
 
This proves how important mindfulness is to our mental health and overall emotional wellbeing.
 
4. Less Anxiety
 
Anxiety occurs when we feel nervous and/or worried about a certain event or outcome. In psychiatry, anxiety is known as a nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension typically with compulsive behavior or panic attack.
 
Controlled trials were performed on patients with anxiety disorders in which they had patients participate in regular mindful-based activities. The trials showed that mindful-based intervention was effective in decreasing anxiety symptoms in patients and lasted longer than other techniques.
 
Prolonged anxiety can control people’s life. I personally suffer from anxiety and it can be a very scary and stressful thing to experience. I started practicing mindfulness exercises regularly and found that the anxiety symptoms disappeared.
 
5. Better Coping Skills
 
Coping is a response we use to process our emotional or psychological stress. Our coping skills are measured by how we choose to respond to highly stressful situations. Most people think of coping when they experience a death in the family. This tragedy adds lots of emotional stress on a person and can test their ability to be emotionally strong and resilient.
 
An article published in 2012 demonstrates how using a mindful approach to coping strategies helped their patients. In this mindful-coping study, doctors used mindful strategies including meditation, cognitive therapies & empathy exercises to improve their patients’ coping abilities.
 
Patients reported having fewer negative emotions and felt more constructive about the situation. This shows the power that mindfulness has on our ability to cope with stressful situations.
 
 
Summary
 
Incorporating regular mindfulness exercises into your life can be very beneficial to your mental health. Mindful-based interventions have been proven through scientific research to strengthen your mental health in many ways.
 
These benefits include managing stress, developing emotional intelligence, decreasing anxiety and depressive symptoms, and strengthen your ability to cope.
 
The power of the mind belongs to you. Whether you choose to exercise it or not, this power will always remain in your hands. Take a dive into mindfulness. You may be surprised to see where it may lead you. Regular practice will let you discover the above effects of mindfulness on your own mental health.
 
Alicia Seibel
 
 
About the Author: 

Alicia is a passionate writer who holds a bachelor of arts degree in Psychology with a minor in Business Management and Youth Development from Columbia College. Her experience in the wellness industry has motivated her to share lifestyle choices that lead to heath, happiness, and abundance. For this reason, Alicia created a blog called Down To Earth Vitality, where she promotes natural lifestyle and spiritual & physical self-love. She lives on the beautiful Central Coast of California with her husband and dog.
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 
 
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 18:52
Quarta-feira, 25 / 03 / 20

Social Distancing from an Introvert’s Point of View.

Social Distancing from an Introvert’s Point of View.

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

March 25th, 2020

 

 
 
Our world is plagued with fake people who pretend to be something they aren’t. It’s not unusual to fall for a fake, no matter what they’re pretending to be. Sometimes, we just trust too easily. When you fall for a fake empath’s lies, it could be emotionally or mentally damaging. For your own sake, it’s a good idea to know what to look for when spotting a fake.
 
Despite how wholesome being an empath is at its root, there are still people who make it into something less than that. Fake empaths are, unfortunately, common. People claim to have this gift for all sorts of reasons. Often, fake empaths are narcissists.
 
Empaths and narcissists are on opposite ends of the same spectrum. They insist that they are highly sensitive to other people’s emotions and can “just tell how you feel” in order to manipulate you in some way for their own gain.
 
What Is an Empath?
 
A real empath is a person who can tune in, or feel, the emotions of others. This extends to animals and even the emotional “vibe” of certain places. Oftentimes, empaths are portrayed as having a psychic ability similar to mind reading.
 
Fake empaths particularly love the recognition that comes with this theory. While some might believe in the psychic aspects, others lean more towards the idea that empaths are just highly sensitive to emotions and actively try to feel the emotions of others.
 
Real empaths are born with their abilities and may never know they have such a gift. They may live their entire lives assuming that it’s normal to pick up on everyone’s emotions so easily. With or without their knowledge, empaths use a whole array of tools to understand another person’s emotions. These include body language, tone of voice and even the words a person uses. Fake empaths are unlikely to even notice such subtle changes.
 
For strongly empathic people, distance has no impact on their abilities. Even live TV, documentaries and reality shows can give emotional impressions to an empath. For this reason, real empaths will often avoid seeing shows that are heavy with emotion.
 
 
5 Differences between Fake Empaths and Real Empaths
 
1. They Want to Diagnose You
 
Fake empaths want to tell YOU how YOU feel. Instead of simply trying to understand and be in tune with how you feel, as a real empath would do, they want to read you. They want to diagnose your feelings and they want everyone to know about it.
 
For example, imagine you’re having a hard time and have been a little quieter than usual. A real empath would naturally feel this and would understand why. Be it anxiety or maybe sadness, they’ll feel it too. They probably won’t tell you that they feel your emotions too, they’ll just try to help without making a fuss.
 
A fake empath will turn it into a guessing game, without a sympathetic approach. They just want you to notice that they’ve “read you”.
 
2. They Don’t Take “No” Well
 
If a fake empath comes up with an incorrect assumption of you, which is most likely, they won’t handle being corrected very well. Fake empaths pretend to be this way for attention and to feel like they have a special power that makes them superior, and sometimes even god-like.
 
Whilst a real empath would be apologetic and uncomfortable if they had been wrong about how you felt, a fake one would be defensive. They’re likely to insist that you’re wrong about your own emotions. After all, they’re the ones with the magical powers, right?
 
3. They Will Note Your Negative Emotions, Not Positive Ones
 
Fake empaths want to feel like they’ve caught you out, so they’ll try to reveal emotions you would be keeping secret. If they think you’re angry at someone, they’ll announce that “they can feel it” because they’re empathetic. The same goes for any sadness or discomfort they might think you have.
 
Real empaths enjoy when others feel positive emotions because they can feel it too. They get to share in the good feelings and they’re happy to tell you they’re experiencing the same emotions. Fake empaths won’t bother with noting your positive emotions, because they’re not as exciting or dramatic enough to get them attention.
 
4. They Tell Everyone They’re Empaths
 
There are very few signs that make it clearer that someone is not an empath than them telling everyone that they are. Real empaths don’t need or want the attention and confusion that comes from sharing their abilities. If you reveal that you can feel the emotions of others, you’re likely to be met with questions. Fake empaths love this. They crave the attention.
 
5. They Blame Emotional Influence
 
As a real empath, you’re constantly taking in the emotional experiences of the people and places around you. This can be fatiguing and will have some impact on your own mood. Fake empaths will let this be an excuse for their bad moods and bad behavior, while real empaths would never.
 
Real empaths understand that it is possible to be influenced by the outside world, but they wouldn’t let it become negative or impact the people around them. If emotions get too strong, they would rather take themselves away for a while than hurt their family or friends.
 
Fake empaths will become angry and even rude and snappy, then blame it on the influence of others instead of taking responsibility for lashing out.
 
Fake Empaths Can Be Dangerous
 
Fake empaths are particularly dangerous people because of their assumed control over your emotions. In order to protect yourself from these people, it’s important to know the differences between things a fake empath and a real one. If someone in your life shows signs of being fake, it’s best to stay away.
 
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://medium.com
 
 
 

 

Becky Storey
 

 




 

About the Author: Becky Storey


 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
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Alternative to YouTube
bitchute.com
brighteon.com

 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 23:11
Segunda-feira, 23 / 03 / 20

Dreams about the Ocean: Interpretations and Meanings

Dreams about the Ocean:

Interpretations and Meanings

Janey Davies, B.A.

https://www.learning-mind.com

March 22nd, 2020.

 
dreams about the ocean.
 
 
Dreaming about the ocean can be relaxing, exhilarating or downright terrifying. To understand dreams about the ocean, you have to look at the condition and the context of the ocean.
 
However, as a rule of thumb, oceans represent our emotions, often hidden deep within our subconscious. So whenever you are analysing oceans in dreams, take this into account.
 
Interpretations of Dreams about the Ocean
 
What was the ocean like in your dream?
 
Calm Ocean
 
This indicates stability and emotional balance in your life. You feel happy with your health and mental wellbeing and have control over the important aspects of your life. You feel at peace with the world and are relaxed and optimistic about the future.
 
Clear Ocean
 
If you can see wildlife and plants waving and ebbing and flowing in a crystal clear ocean, it is a sign of spiritual happiness. It also means you have the wherewithal to ride out any potential problems that are coming your way.
 
Dark Ocean
 
If you could not see into the depths of the ocean, you are experiencing a fear of the unknown. You are worried about the future and are having trouble managing negative emotions.
 
Turbulent Ocean
 
Waves or rough seas are a sign of problems to come, or risks to overcome. The greater the wave, the higher the problem or risk.
 
Raging Ocean
 
This indicates an attack on you that is particularly violent and upsetting. Be on your guard; you won’t know when or where this attack will come from.
Deep Ocean
 
Deep ocean dreams indicate the depth of your emotions. It is how you felt in this deep water that matters. Were you relaxed or frightened?
 
Pink Ocean
 
Pink is the colour of romance, but in this instance, it represents sexual desire. The desire you feel is not appropriate and your subconscious is warning you against taking action.
 
Shark-infested ocean
 
Being in an ocean full of sharks is a warning against false friends. Beware of treacherous behaviour from people you trust.
 
They are not your friends.
 
Those are types of oceans and what they represent, but it is important to understand the context of your dream as well.
 
What were you doing in your ocean dream?
 
Sailing across the ocean
 
This dream is about navigating your way through life’s problems with optimism and confidence. You feel like you can overcome any challenge that comes your way.
 
Swimming in the ocean
 
Again, this is a dream of confidence. Dreaming of swimming in deep waters suggests you feel capable and in charge of your life. However, if you can’t swim, this dream represents your fears and worries about real-life problems.
 
Fell in the ocean
 
Were you in deep over your head? This is a metaphor for how you feel in real life. Your subconscious is telling you that you need support and help with a problem you are struggling to deal with.
 
Diving in the ocean
 
Diving headfirst into a deep ocean implies you are ready for a challenge. You want to dive straight in and sort the problem out. It also indicates a trip or a period of travelling.
 
Floating in the ocean
 
Floating all depends on the state of the ocean and how you felt. If it was calm and you were relaxed, this indicates you are at peace with the world. However, turbulent waters that frightened you suggest turmoil in your private life.
 
Fell off a boat
 
You are drowning in a sea of emotions. People usually have this dream after a sudden loss or bereavement.
 
Swimming in the ocean
 
Swimming indicates success in your recent endeavours. This is a sign you will overcome your challenges by hard work and pressing forward. If you swam to the horizon, you can expect a relationship to change.
 
Riding the waves of the ocean
 
This confidence you feel whilst riding the waves is reflected in real life. You feel all-powerful and ready to take on the world. In fact, you are excited and exhilarated to take on new challenges. However, if you felt wobbly whilst riding, this means you want to become more proficient.
 
On a ship in the ocean
 
This ocean dream is a powerful message to you that you can navigate your way through any of life’s trials and tribulations.
 
Lost at sea
 
Lost in the expanse of the ocean means you feel at a loss with your emotions. You need to get back to terra firma, onto solid ground.
 
Of course, these are all dreams about being on or in the ocean. What if you are on the shore or beach and can see the ocean?
 
Dreams about the Ocean Shore
 
Walking along a calm and beautiful shoreline indicates the possibility of a new romantic partner or a new passion in life. The calm nature means you can take your time to this new passion.
 
Ending up on the shore after a shipwreck or swimming in the ocean indicates you are now on safe ground in real life. Have you come out of trauma recently? This dream shows that everything worked out well and that you made the right decision.
 
Where you on the shore and wanted to get into the ocean? This represents your desire or longing for something just out of reach. Was there something in the ocean? This could be an indication of what you are wishing for.
 
Stepping in or over seaweed is a cautionary warning. It grows naturally at the water’s edge so it is a sign of personal growth in your own life. But you can also get tangled up in it so watch out.
 
Picking up seashells from the shore suggests someone is going to tell you a secret or reveal one about you. It could be someone close to you that trusted.
 
Anyone who dreams of lying on the beach with waves rolling over them needs to control their emotions. The ebb and flow of the tide indicate changing emotions; one moment you are happy the next sad.
 
Tsunamis are terrifying in real life and in dreams about oceans. This dream revolves around intense stress and worry. It is an anxiety dream that represents your panic in real life.
 
Final thoughts
 
Dreams about oceans can reveal the state of our emotions. They are a useful insight into our subconscious, but only if we interpret them properly.
 
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://psychcentral.com


Janey Davies



About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 00:59
Segunda-feira, 23 / 03 / 20

How to Avoid Emotional Distancing in Times of Social Distancing

How to Avoid Emotional Distancing in Times of Social Distancing.

Lottie Miles, M.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted March 22, 2020.

 
Emotional Distancing social Distancing.

 
 

 
When we feel lonely or overwhelmed by the situation we are in, we can easily fall into the trap of emotionally distancing ourselves from others. In this post, we will look at how you can avoid emotional distancing when socially distancing.
 
The effects of the coronavirus have been more far-reaching than most of us could ever have imagined. Fortunately, all of us can successfully help prevent the exponential spread of coronavirus. What we need to do is to reduce our social contact with others by practicing ‘social distancing’.
 
This means cutting down on all non-essential contact with others even if we are healthy ourselves. However, when we spend more time on our own or in close quarters with just one or two others, we can sometimes feel lonely.
 
What Is Social Distancing?
 
“Remaining out of congregate settings, avoiding mass gatherings, and maintaining distance (approximately 6 feet or 2 meters) from others when possible” – Center for Disease Control
 
Social distancing refers to steps taken to reduce our social interactions with other people to stop the spread of infections. This usually involves curtailing all contact that is purely social and sometimes staying away from work and school even when healthy.
 
It means limiting face-to-face time with our loved ones and our friends if we do not live with these groups. It means doing this, even if we personally show no symptoms or are unlikely to suffer an extreme reaction to the coronavirus.
 
Coronavirus is highly contagious and an estimated 15% of cases will require hospital care, with a further 5% requiring ICU care. For this reason, social distancing is vital to stop the spread.
 
Social distancing can help hospitals with limited resources and prevent the speed of virus spread. Moreover, it can buy time for the global community to find vaccines, cures, and source vital equipment to help those who need it before more lives are unnecessarily lost.
 
Why Is Social Distancing Important?
 
The value of social distancing is shown most starkly in the contrasting death rates between South Korea and Italy which both saw 10 people killed by the coronavirus at about the same time.
 
With social distancing and an effective testing program in South Korea, under 100 people have died from coronavirus, compared to almost 5,000 deaths in Italy as of late March 2020. Ultimately, by practicing social distancing, you can save lives.
 
What Is Emotional Distancing?
 
Emotional distancing can occur if we live on our own, with friends, or with a partner. Typically, we can be drawn to isolate ourselves emotionally when overwhelmed by demands in a relationship or other stresses.
 
As the discussion above shows, we have a lot to be overwhelmed by at the moment. Moreover, practicing social distancing can lead to us feeling lonely because of our physical separation from others.
 
Fortunately, there are steps we can take to help stop us from feeling lonely. The first step is recognizing when we may be becoming emotionally distant.
 
 
Below, we outline 3 ways to avoid emotional distancing during social distancing
 
These will help us all feel connected during these emotionally challenging times.
 
 
Practice emotional connectivity
 
Spending time alone can help us to reconnect with ourselves emotionally. We also have to try and remember that being alone physically does not have to mean we feel alone mentally. We can realize this by practicing feeling emotionally connected by remembering things we have done with others in the past. This could be acts of kindness people have done for us or acts of kindness we have done for others.
 
We can also feel more connected to people by taking the time to think about who we care about as well as ourselves. This could be a small group of people close to you or broader.
 
Simply by recognizing our care for others and taking time to think about this, we can feel more connected to others. We can also engage with supporting the people more isolated than ourselves by organizing collectively to minimize our overall social contact.
 
 
Stay virtually connected
 
Not being able to see people face-to-face can be hard. Thankfully, with video calls, text, email, and phone calls, we can feel much closer to our nearest and dearest when socially distancing. It is a great idea to ramp up this form of connectivity as we more stringently socially distance ourselves from others.
 
Indeed, we may find ourselves benefiting from more regular contact with our loved ones than if we could simply pop round. We can give ourselves space from those we share close quarters with and foster relationships with those further away.
 
 
Practice kindness and gratitude
 
If we are socially isolating or socially distancing with others in our homes, then we can become emotionally distant with those we share physical space with. We can combat this by being open and honest about how we are feeling.
 
Early on, it can be beneficial to recognize some of the aspects of ‘quarantine’ that you may find challenging. Whilst we can be tempted to evade things that make us feel uncomfortable, avoidance coping can be unhealthy.
 
Actively practicing kindness to one another and ourselves can help to make us feel closer to each other. Do you find yourself feeling distant or irritable with those you share space with? Actively focusing on being kind and grateful to have them is a way to stave off emotional distancing.
It can be tempting to see ourselves as invincible to the consequences of the coronavirus.
 
However, it is important to remember that our actions have consequences for others as well as ourselves. Socially distancing has been shown to be vital in the fight against coronavirus. It is something we all need to take seriously.
 
Fortunately, when socially distancing ourselves from others, we can remind ourselves that we are connected emotionally as well as physically. By realizing this, we can avoid emotionally distancing ourselves during social distancing.


 

 

Lottie Miles

 






 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 00:18
Sexta-feira, 13 / 03 / 20

‘I Hate People’: Why You Feel This Way and How to Cope.

 

‘I Hate People’: 

Why You Feel This Way and How to Cope.

Sherrie Hurd

learning-mind.com

Posted March 13th, 2020.

 
 

 
 
I have been guilty of saying “I hate people”, but I really don’t. There’s much more to my emotions, and I wish to think positively.
 
Even the most friendly and extroverted person may say they hate people, but they don’t really mean it because, after all, they usually like people more than some of the rest of us. To be honest, I think we’ve all let this slip out a time or two.
 
People stuck on the negativity
 
Then there are others who proclaim their hate more often too, and there are a few reasons they do this. Sometimes hate springs from frustration, fear, and even when you see someone who thinks or looks different from you.
 
This sort of hate can get stuck inside and change you. There’s another important factor as well. If you start off hating someone, the more negative things you do, the more you will hate them. So how can we cope with these intense feelings?
Coping with the “I hate people” mindset
 
1. Recognize your true feelings
 
You may not think you’re guilty of hating people just because you mouth it a couple of times, but you really do carry a bit of strong distaste. Words have more power than you think. In order to cope with hatred toward others, you must first acknowledge that you say these things and sometimes even genuinely feel this way.
 
It was hard for me to realize what I was saying and feeling, and I always used the excuse, saying, “I just don’t like them, and it’s not the same as hate”, but I came to realize that I did have hatred in my heart. And so, I had to accept it before I could successfully cope with it.
 
2. Mindfulness exercises
 
Another way of coping with hatred toward others is by practicing mindfulness. Similar to meditation, mindfulness places you in the present time and coaxes you to think about what’s going on now.
 
The first thing you will want to do is wish good thoughts on yourself. Then wish kindness and happiness to friends and family, which is pretty easy to do. After that, wish good things for neutral people, those who really have little impact on your life in general.
 
Then, in a harder act of concentration, wish the same happiness on those who you do not like. When you practice this last one, you may feel the tension in your body. This is when you take deep breaths and try to relax. Then, wish happiness on everyone else in existence. Practice this often to help soften your hatred.
 
3. Let it go, let it go
 
No, I’m not about to sing that Disney song, but you do need to use a certain pattern to let hateful feelings go, like… letting it go. So, try this way of coping:
 
When you see someone you really don’t like, or even that someone you secretly hate, go ahead, for just one moment and let yourself feel it. Then imagine that dark feeling passing from your mind, down your neck, through your body and down to your feet. Imagine it soaking into the ground beneath you. Then calmly move from the place you were standing.
 
As you do this, it will distract you from the hatred you’re feeling and calm you enough to deal with them.
 
4. Grow up
 
Sometimes you hate people because they have different opinions than you, and that’s it! That is literally the only reason you hate them. I know it may seem petty, and truthfully, it is. Different folks have different standards and they despise each other in many cases.
 
One way to stop hating people is by accepting that they have an opinion of their own, an opinion that is their right, and your opinion could see just as silly or infuriating to them. So being mature enough to accept differences and move on is one good way to stop hating people.
 
5. Go ahead now, get to that root
 
If you’re actually hating on a number of people, group of people, or just everyone, that’s not natural. You weren’t born hating everyone. There is a root to that hatred.
 
In fact, you could have started hating one particular person, and the feelings spread due to the hurt they caused. Then it spread further until there really wasn’t anyone you did like. The good news is, you can reverse this hatred by tracing it back to its origin. Then start working on healing from there.
 
6. Recognize why hate is wrong
 
There are more reasons why hate is wrong than right. For one, hate is never included in anything if you are spiritual because you cannot hate your spiritual brother or sister or you hate yourself.
 
You see, some believe we are all one, and in ways, we are. It’s also just not fair to hate someone. We all have problems and show really unattractive sides to our personalities sometimes. We want to be forgiven, and we want a second chance to be liked, and so would you. There is never a good reason to hate, but there is always a good reason to love. Recognize this and work on it a bit at a time.
 
Never say “I hate people” again
 
Yes, I mean it. Never say those toxic words again. They can do no good and really make you feel bad about yourself later on. Those words have the power to make you feel sick both physically and mentally. So, try, really hard, to practice love instead of hate. I promise it brings a much better reward.
 
So, do you really hate people? I don’t think so.
 
 
References:

  1. https://www.forbes.com
  2. https://www.cnbc.com

 

Sherrie Hurd


 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 21:15
Sexta-feira, 21 / 02 / 20

Brain and Emotions: How Anger, Fear or Love Work in Your Brain

Brain and Emotions: 

How Anger, Fear or Love Work in Your Brain

Lottie Miles.

learning-mind.com

Posted February 21st, 2020.

 
brain and emotions.

 
 
 
The human brain is incredibly complex. Neuroscientists are still uncovering hidden depths to this intriguing organ. and there is still a lot that we don’t know about it. However, what we do know about the brain, and the part of it that deals with recognizing and controlling your body’s reaction to emotions is incredibly fascinating.
 
In this post, we look at our brain and emotions and what different reactions occur in our heads when we feel anger, fear or love.
 
Why do we have emotions?
 
When it comes to discussing the way our brain processes emotions, a helpful starting point is looking at why we have emotions in the first place. Essentially, emotions help us to survive and exist thanks to evolution. They act as triggers to help us to react to situations that may cause us harm.
 
Feeling anger triggers a response of being ready to fight. When we feel fear, we try to get ourselves out of the situation we’re in. On the other hand, feeling happiness can motivate us to pursue the activity that made us feel like that.
 
Which area of the brain controls emotions?
 
The main area of the brain that is involved with emotions is called the limbic system. It is also responsible for our memories and arousal. All parts of the limbic system are connected through a variety of neural pathways. This part of the brain is what enables us to react to situations when we feel a certain way.
 
The limbic system, therefore, is the part of the brain that is thought to control our emotions and the brain functions that coincide with them. It is said to consist of four main parts:
  • Hypothalamus: this part of the limbic system is responsible for regulating our body temperature, releasing hormones, and plays a key part in our emotions and our sex drive.
  • Amygdala: the amygdala is what helps us to respond to emotions including anger, fear, sadness in order to protect us. The amygdala also retains memories of emotions experienced and when they occurred. This helps us to prepare when similar experiences happen in the future.
  • Thalamus: the thalamus is where we detect and respond to our senses and is linked with the cerebrum which is where thinking and movement are triggered.
  • Hippocampus: the hippocampus plays a key part in our retention and retrieval of memories.
 
Which part of the brain controls fear?
 
The emotion of fear is an evolutionary response that helps us to survive. While most of us are no longer living in the wild we still need to feel fear to keep ourselves safe. Fear triggers a chain reaction and involves multiple parts of the brain.
 
First of all, your thalamus uses sensory data to pick up on what you are witnessing/experiencing. This then passes through the sensory cortex which interprets the data and your hippocampus draws on memories to establish the context and how the body needs to react. Your amygdala then decodes these emotions and establishes whether a threat has occurred, this then stimulates the hypothalamus.
 
The hypothalamus then triggers what many of us know as the ‘fight or flight’ response. When you feel fear, you will often find that you have a physical reaction. This could be your hair standing on end and your heart pumping in your chest. This is triggered by the hypothalamus and gets you ready to react.
 
Which part of the brain controls anger?
 
When it comes to anger and the brain, the process is not dissimilar to that of fear. In fact, the fight or flight response triggered by the hypothalamus is what causes us to be angry and can be our response to feeling fear.
 
 
The thalamus recognizes the potential threat, your amygdala produces your emotional response and stimulates the hypothalamus which initiates your physical response. It is also thought that the prefrontal cortex can impact our ability to regulate anger and put the brakes on when we feel ourselves getting fired up.
 
Which part of the brain controls love?
 
While love is a favorable emotion to feel, we can all admit that it is accompanied by some pretty unpleasant emotions. Nerves and excitement are both physical responses we feel when we see someone we love. These are triggered by the hypothalamus, which releases a mixture of hormones that are associated with the reward circuit. These produce reactions such as sweaty hands, pink cheeks, a racing heart, as well as feelings of anxiety and passion.
 
When we are in love, our brain also produces the chemical dopamine. This is what makes love a desirable experience. The other hormones our brain produces when we experience romantic love are oxytocin (triggered by skin-to-skin contact), which encourages attachment and vasopressin, which is connected with social bonding.
 
Oxytocin is known as the ‘love hormone’ as it triggers feelings of security, calmness, and contentment that help us to feel connected with a potential mate.
 
Emotional processing is a complex field. How our brain deals with emotions is far beyond the scope of this article. The incredibly complicated chemical processes that are occurring in your brain when you experience certain emotions are fascinating.
 
It can help you to understand why your body reacts in a certain way. As well as how our emotions are trying to protect us. We hope we’ve whetted your appetite and that this marks the beginning of a fascination with neuroscience!
 
 

Lottie Miles

 






 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 20:53
Segunda-feira, 03 / 02 / 20

7 Signs Your Emotional Baggage Is Keeping You Stuck and How to Move On.

7 Signs Your Emotional Baggage Is Keeping You Stuck and How to Move On.

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 31st, 2020.

 
 


 
When you just cannot move forward in life, it could be that your unresolved emotional issues are weighing you down. So many of us carry emotional baggage from somewhere. It shows in the way we speak, our actions, and even our expressions.
 
We can try to push and cram all our emotional belongings into a suitcase in our minds, but sooner or later, that suitcase is going to burst open, spilling all our emotional garbage everywhere. This won’t be a pretty site either.
 
What is emotional baggage?
 
Simply put, it is trauma, heartache, loss, love, lost friendships, and all other sorts of things. They are things that our minds refuse to release. For some reason, we keep ruminating and mulling over these issues, never finding closure or healing.
 
The baggage we carry with our emotions can spill out so far that it can affect others around us too, adding to their own problems. It’s just a complete mess and something that’s best eliminated or controlled.
 
Indicators that you’re stuck with emotional baggage
 
1. Repeating unhealthy relationships
 
Whether it’s the fact that you’ve been divorced several times, or you’re having problems connecting with the right people. If you’re repeating bad marriages or relationships, then maybe you’re carrying your baggage from one relationship to the other.
 
Now, this doesn’t mean the other party doesn’t have the baggage of their own. Sometimes it can be two people hashing through unhealthy pasts. However, it’s a big indicator that your emotional baggage is not letting you move on if you’re continually dating or associating with the same types of people.
 
2. You’re not living your potential
 
When you carry baggage from place to place, you will become weighed down, tired and even hopeless. Emotions passed from one experience to the other can kill passions that you used to have inside.
 
For example, if you love to garden, cook, play the piano, or other fulfilling things, your emotional baggage will leave you with no interest in these things anymore. If you don’t feel like doing the things you used to love, then that’s a sign you’re carrying the past into the present, and you’re alsostuck in that pattern, maybe even stuck with someone that doesn’t make you happy.
 
3. Mental illness can be a sign
 
Not all mental disorders are genetic. Some of them come from years of being stuck in an unhealthy place. Maybe you’ve been in a marriage for 20 years, enduring unhappiness for the sake of your children. Oh, how this is such a wrong thing to do. Actions like this can develop depression, anxiety, and other acquired problems.
 
With 20 unhappy years under your belt, you have several backpacks full of stuff you need to unpack. And for goodness sake, never stay for the kids. If a relationship is ruining your mental health, get out.
 
4. You haven’t faced the past
 
Sometimes really bad things happen in the past to people. Sometimes adults are survivors of childhood abuse or neglect. Sometimes adults are survivors of war, automobile accidents, or other trauma.
 
I’ve noticed that the first thing people want to do is forget about what happened, and this is the opposite of what they should be doing. Emotional baggage grows and grows the more trauma you ignore and the longer you keep it buried. If you’re not facing the past, you are dragging huge trunks of emotional belongings.
 
5. Your past is spilling into your future
 
You can have an otherwise healthy relationship, but it can be quickly tainted by things from the past. While there are red flags telling you that something is wrong, there are also coincidences that make you over-react and drag out old emotional scars. Then you apply these scars to your present situation.
 
If you’re taking a perfectly healthy union and basing it on all your damaged or broken unions of the past, then you are carrying baggage filled with old emotional content. If you happen to have a good partner, this is not fair to them.
 
6. Your sleeping habits are atrocious
 
Are you having trouble sleeping? If so, maybe you’re having nightmares every night. And if you are, then maybe it’s because of unresolved conflicts and trauma.
 
I have many traumatic situations from my past that invade my dreams most every night. Sometimes I feel okay in the morning, but sometimes I feel as though I’ve been run over by a truck. Until I get all this stuff cleaned out, my nights will continue to be inconsistent. This could be what’s happening to you too.
 
7. Emotional outbursts
 
For the most part, staying calm is pretty easy, but if you are carrying emotional baggage, eventually,there will be an outburst of some kind. It’s like cramming things in that suitcase we were talking about and not expecting it to pop open eventually.
 
 
If you have unresolved issues, hence the baggage, sooner or later, there will be an outburst of some kind. You would start yelling at someone after holding in your feelings for too long, or you could even get into a fight. If you’ve had any outbursts lately, then check to see if you have a bit of baggage left unchecked.
How can we move on?
 
 
The whole point of all this is to understand how to move past our emotional baggage. We have to unpack each item and take a close look at it. Do you have some childhood abuse folded up in there, maybe a whole stack of it? Then unfold it, look at it, and talk to someone about what happened. Yes, get help, and soon.
 
Do you have unhealthy past relationships rolled into the corner of the suitcase trying to hide and be forgotten? Well, grab those and learn what went wrong. Say there were two bad relationships, look at one, and objectively remember where the fights, disagreements, and divisions started.
 
Learn how not to repeat the same patterns. Most of the time, where relationships are concerned, it’s wise to stay alone for a few years between. Unfortunately, I know way too many people who hop from one relationship to the next, looking for better. Most of the time, they get the same or worse because they haven’t unpacked their baggage yet.
 
If emotional baggage concerns family relations, you have to continue staying in touch with your family despite what may have happened in the past. That is unless your family is the source of some kind of abuse, in which that baggage now has to be forgiven. If it’s just about old disagreements, you have to face each other and find a compromise.
 
There are many ways to unpack those suitcases and backpacks, but if you don’t you will carry them with you forever. And, no matter how old you are, you don’t want to have these things still sitting by your bedside at the end of your life. No regrets remember.
 
 
I hope you unpack your baggage soon. I am working on mine.
 

 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:
 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com
 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 01:30
Sexta-feira, 24 / 01 / 20

4 Examples of Sublimation That Demonstrate How It Works in Daily Life

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 23rd, 2020.

 
 
 
 
We all have thoughts and feelings which we know are ‘not okay’ by society’s standards. It’s a natural element of the human condition. What sets humans apart from animals is not a lack of animal impulses, but rather how we manage our animal impulses. One of the techniques we subconsciously use is sublimation. Following is a brief discussion of the theory and a set of examples of sublimation in progress, to help crystallise the concept in your minds.

The Theory of Sublimation

The concept of psychological sublimation finds its roots in the work of Sigmund Freud. Although his theories are contentious these days, there are some fascinating facets to his beliefs about the human mind.

Freud divided the human psyche into three distinct aspects. The Id, our ‘animal brain,’ is home to impulses and urges. The superego, which is the expression of society’s morality, engineers our behaviour to comply with morals, laws and expectations. Last but not least, the ego, which continually works to find the balance between the two.

One of the ways in which the ego balances out the Id’s impulses and the superego’s lofty ideals is through a set of defence mechanisms. These include repression, reaction formation, projection, denial, regression, intellectualisation, rationalisation, displacement and, you guessed it, sublimation.

What Is Sublimation?

But what is sublimation? In essence, it’s the phasing of one thing into another. In chemistry, it’s the transformation of a solid into a gas, in psychology it’s the channelling of inappropriate impulses into positive and productive behaviours.

Instead of reacting in extreme anger, you might clean the house, or go for a run. Instead of sexually propositioning a person, you might write poetry or dance. This can be done consciously but happens most of the time subconsciously.

The process of sublimation protects us from the anxiety around having unacceptable thoughts and urges, preventing us from being negatively impacted by them. Channelling animalistic and primitive impulses into positive outlets preserves our social relationships, our social standing, and essential elements of our lives like jobs and our ability to support ourselves.

It can also act on positive feelings if we subconsciously believe they are too good to last, to protect us from disappointment. In this form, sublimation can become part of the self-sabotaging tendencies people often subconsciously enact when things are going well.

Examples of Sublimation

Sublimation happens mostly subconsciously. We may, therefore, be unaware that this is one of our coping mechanisms. Still, most of the following examples of sublimation apply to the majority of people at some point or another in their lives.

Physical Activity

Competitive sports is one productive way in which aggressive or dominant personality types channel their impulses. Rather than fight or dominate other people, they metaphorically crush them on the sports field. It can be seen as a human version of the ritualised challenges for territory or females that occur in the animal world. A few examples of how sublimation works in full swing might be combat or contact sports and racing.

Often if people feel frustrated, angry, and scattered, or if they are sexually aroused, they go for a run, for a walk, to the gym, use their punching bag etc. These are also sublimation examples. In this way, our mind converts the unacceptable urge to lash out or to have sex with strangers into a beneficial activity.

Chores and menial tasks

Another typical example of sublimation is the conversion of inappropriate urges into useful, menial tasks that, let’s be honest, may otherwise never get done. Instead of being unfaithful to your partner, you pull the weeds out of your flower-beds. Rather than obsessively micro-manage your children, you purge and re-organise all of your belongings.

When you feel like yelling at or confronting your boss, you tidy your desk-space. If your anxiety is causing you deeply distressing and troubling thoughts, you scrub the kitchen and bathrooms clean.

Creative Pursuits

Creativity is a prevalent alternative to inappropriate urges and impulses, most frequently when it comes to sexual sublimation. Instead of sexually accosting a particular person, an example of sublimating your sexual desire might be turning to paint, drawing, sculpting, writing, or any form of craft.

Another example of using creativity to sublimate socially frowned-upon emotions is the transferring of depression, sadness, anxiety or addiction into works of art. Through poetry, story-telling, or other artistic pursuits, negative emotions are channelled into socially valued expressions.

Life-Paths

People’s chosen life-paths can often be expressions of their sublimated urges and desires. Successful managers or administrators have a strong passion for control, micro-managing and organisation. Another example of sublimation might be leadership roles. People in positions of authority often have a need to be obeyed, listened to, feared, loved or respected, that is satisfied through the successful fulfilment of their jobs.

On the darker end of the scale, someone with an urge to cut or harm people might train to be a surgeon, or someone with aggressive tendencies might join the military or the police.

Can we consciously choose sublimation?

Sublimation is, for the most part, a mature subconscious way of dealing with inappropriate urges and impulses. Using the above examples of sublimation and with the help of mental health professionals, train yourself to recognise it. You can then try to identify the urge or impulse your ego is working to conceal.

The crucial element in sublimating consciously is to accept, recognise and validate your feelings, before determining which activity to channel them into. There is no such thing as an inappropriate feeling, only inappropriate or harmful actions. Once you are aware of the urges your ego is hiding from you, you can consciously sublimate them into the activity of your choice.

 

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 09:36
Segunda-feira, 13 / 01 / 20

Why Letting Go of Grudges Is Crucial for Your Happiness and How to Do It

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

January 10, 2020

 



 
 
I think it’s fair to say that we’ve all been wronged in some way. Whether it’s a nasty break-up, betrayal by a friend, or an old school bully, once we hold a grudge against them, it’s hard to let go. Letting go of grudges is good for our health, but it’s hard to do.
 
We say we’ve forgiven, but we don’t forget. Sometimes, a grudge can last a lifetime. It’s time to start letting go of the grudges we hold and start fresh with a healthier new outlook.
 
 
We hold grudges for a whole host of reasons. Psychologists have suggested that we use grudges to define ourselves and excuse our bad behavior. We write off our coldness, mistrust and sometimes plain rudeness, as the result of past hurt.
 
Some suggest that we are holding grudges as a subconscious way to get sympathy and extra kindnessthat we didn’t get initially. This is especially true with victims of school-aged bullies. At the time, there was little support for the hardship. As an adult, if we tell our stories, others will feel bad for us. We hold onto our grudges towards these bullies, so we can keep re-telling the story.
 
While those reasons might require more intensive thought, some other reasons can be more superficial. We might consider holding a grudge to be a form of revenge. Never letting go of the grudge means never letting the offender get away with their crimes.
 
The reality is, those who wronged you probably aren’t even aware of your reserved hostility, or even worse, they don’t care. Instead of holding onto this pain, perhaps it’s time to work on letting go of these grudges.
 
Why Letting Go of Grudges Is Crucial for Your Happiness
 
They Serve No Purpose
 
If psychologists are correct in their theories on holding grudges, then we can see that the reasons are never beneficial. Holding onto the anger or pain won’t help us to heal from the hurt. It won’t undo the damage done in the past.
 
Grudges won’t serve as a kind of revenge. Even if the offender is begging for forgiveness, there is no benefit to YOU by never letting go of the grudge.
 
They’re Bad for Your Health
 
A number of studies have shown that holding onto grudges can cause a serious decline in health. Having a grudge to carry with you means you’re repeatedly becoming angry every time the memory comes to your mind. We certainly all know by now that anger has a negative effect on our health. Constantly recurring anger is dangerous.
 
Anger, and in turn holding grudges, can lead to increases in heart rate and blood pressure. When we’re angered, our body’s stress response is triggered, leading to a whole host of unhealthy chemical reactions inside us. If you want to keep your body healthy and safe, you’d better start letting go of some grudges.
 
They Consume Us
 
Grudges are just pain that we carry with us everywhere. As well as the toll they take on our psychical body, they also have negative impacts on our mental health too. Negative thoughts take over from positive ones usually. They consume more of our time and fill our minds with a negative voice.
 
Overthinking the causes, possible solutions, and the revenge you crave will make it harder for your brain to function. Your usually clear thinking will be swallowed whole by the anger and frustration you let ruminate in your mind all day.
 
Not letting go of your grudges will lead to anger, mistrust, and resentment leaking out into your current life. Your personal relationships will suffer. Your career will suffer. Progression can only happen when you untie yourself from the past.
 
How to Start Letting Go of Grudges
 
Take Charge of Your Needs
 
Instead of letting the hurt swirl around your mind all day and night, try going after what you really need to solve this problem. Depending on the length of your grudge and the situation you’re in, talking it out might not be an option.
 
Instead, try talking to yourself. If you can’t get closure, then you have to close the door yourself. This might be easier said than done, but it is possible. Remind yourself of what you’re losing by being angry so often. Notice how little you’re gaining.
 
If you are in a position to talk to the person who hurt you, then do. Be confident in yourself and your needs. Sometimes, you need closure for your wellbeing.
 
Tell this person how hurt you were by what they did and explain that it’s still chipping away at you. If they respond in kind, open up a dialogue. If they don’t, know your pain and this person were never worth it. Let go of this grudge.
 
Embrace Your Mental Strength
 
You can’t change the past. You can’t make the person who hurt you feel guilty. You can, however, change your own thinking. It’s time to get in touch with your own thoughts and slow them down when you feel angry.
 
Remember that your brain was able to create this pain, so it’s able to let it go too. Letting go of grudges is entirely down to you. It’s not going to be easy but letting go can be a choice. You can choose not to hate, or feel anger, anymore.
 
When the frustrated thoughts occur to you, breathe them out. Remind yourself that this person has no power, only you do. No more letting this person win, especially if they’re already out of your life.
 
Distract yourself when these thoughts occur and forbid yourself from dwelling on them. No more obsessing, no more giving any of your precious time to this person who did you wrong.
 
See It from Their Side
 
It might be tough, even painful to do, but sometimes it can be helpful to put yourself in their shoes. Understand what happened in the beginning from a neutral point of view and wonder about how you would have reacted from their side.
 
Remember, we have all done wrong in our lives. We’ve all caused hurt in some way, it’s almost guaranteed. We are flawed, and that’s okay. Don’t place yourself on such a high pedestal that you can never forgive others’ mistakes.
 
It’s also important to understand that a person rarely has malicious intentions when they hurt us, they just acted thoughtlessly or inconsiderately towards our feelings. Rarely are our offenders genuinely evil. Their behavior may have been wrong but trying to connect with the reasons behind their actions might help you find solace.
 
Find the Root Cause
 
Most of the time, when we’re having trouble letting go of a grudge, there’s a deeper cause that we’re missing. This pain we carry tends to reflect a deep value that we hold that has been violated.
 
It can be beneficial to learn why this matter hurts you so much. Once you understand what fundamental moral of yours has been violated, you can start letting go of this grudge. Deep dive into why this moral is so important.
 
Most importantly, if you feel that something essential to you has been violated, then you know this person doesn’t belong in your life or mind. They don’t deserve your thoughts, because, in the end, their choices do not line up with your beliefs and values.
 
Letting go of grudges can be hard, but holding on is dangerous. Allow yourself to release the past. Be optimistic about your future, without bearing the weight of an ancient grudge. You’ll be surprised to see just how prosperous you can be when your mind is free from the torture that is on-going anger.
 
 
References:
  1. https://www.usnews.com
  2. https://journals.sagepub.com
  3. https://www.psychologytoday.com
 

Becky Storey
 

 




 

About the Author: Becky Storey


 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com

 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 05:00
Sábado, 11 / 01 / 20

Why Letting Go of Grudges Is Crucial for Your Happiness and How to Do It

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

January 10, 2020

 



 

 
I think it’s fair to say that we’ve all been wronged in some way. Whether it’s a nasty break-up, betrayal by a friend, or an old school bully, once we hold a grudge against them, it’s hard to let go. Letting go of grudges is good for our health, but it’s hard to do.
 
We say we’ve forgiven, but we don’t forget. Sometimes, a grudge can last a lifetime. It’s time to start letting go of the grudges we hold and start fresh with a healthier new outlook.
 
 
We hold grudges for a whole host of reasons. Psychologists have suggested that we use grudges to define ourselves and excuse our bad behavior. We write off our coldness, mistrust and sometimes plain rudeness, as the result of past hurt.
 
Some suggest that we are holding grudges as a subconscious way to get sympathy and extra kindnessthat we didn’t get initially. This is especially true with victims of school-aged bullies. At the time, there was little support for the hardship. As an adult, if we tell our stories, others will feel bad for us. We hold onto our grudges towards these bullies, so we can keep re-telling the story.
 
While those reasons might require more intensive thought, some other reasons can be more superficial. We might consider holding a grudge to be a form of revenge. Never letting go of the grudge means never letting the offender get away with their crimes.
 
The reality is, those who wronged you probably aren’t even aware of your reserved hostility, or even worse, they don’t care. Instead of holding onto this pain, perhaps it’s time to work on letting go of these grudges.
 
Why Letting Go of Grudges Is Crucial for Your Happiness
 
They Serve No Purpose
 
If psychologists are correct in their theories on holding grudges, then we can see that the reasons are never beneficial. Holding onto the anger or pain won’t help us to heal from the hurt. It won’t undo the damage done in the past.
 
Grudges won’t serve as a kind of revenge. Even if the offender is begging for forgiveness, there is no benefit to YOU by never letting go of the grudge.
 
They’re Bad for Your Health
 
A number of studies have shown that holding onto grudges can cause a serious decline in health. Having a grudge to carry with you means you’re repeatedly becoming angry every time the memory comes to your mind. We certainly all know by now that anger has a negative effect on our health. Constantly recurring anger is dangerous.
 
Anger, and in turn holding grudges, can lead to increases in heart rate and blood pressure. When we’re angered, our body’s stress response is triggered, leading to a whole host of unhealthy chemical reactions inside us. If you want to keep your body healthy and safe, you’d better start letting go of some grudges.
 
They Consume Us
 
Grudges are just pain that we carry with us everywhere. As well as the toll they take on our psychical body, they also have negative impacts on our mental health too. Negative thoughts take over from positive ones usually. They consume more of our time and fill our minds with a negative voice.
 
Overthinking the causes, possible solutions, and the revenge you crave will make it harder for your brain to function. Your usually clear thinking will be swallowed whole by the anger and frustration you let ruminate in your mind all day.
 
Not letting go of your grudges will lead to anger, mistrust, and resentment leaking out into your current life. Your personal relationships will suffer. Your career will suffer. Progression can only happen when you untie yourself from the past.
 
How to Start Letting Go of Grudges
 
Take Charge of Your Needs
 
Instead of letting the hurt swirl around your mind all day and night, try going after what you really need to solve this problem. Depending on the length of your grudge and the situation you’re in, talking it out might not be an option.
 
Instead, try talking to yourself. If you can’t get closure, then you have to close the door yourself. This might be easier said than done, but it is possible. Remind yourself of what you’re losing by being angry so often. Notice how little you’re gaining.
 
If you are in a position to talk to the person who hurt you, then do. Be confident in yourself and your needs. Sometimes, you need closure for your wellbeing.
 
Tell this person how hurt you were by what they did and explain that it’s still chipping away at you. If they respond in kind, open up a dialogue. If they don’t, know your pain and this person were never worth it. Let go of this grudge.
 
Embrace Your Mental Strength
 
You can’t change the past. You can’t make the person who hurt you feel guilty. You can, however, change your own thinking. It’s time to get in touch with your own thoughts and slow them down when you feel angry.
 
Remember that your brain was able to create this pain, so it’s able to let it go too. Letting go of grudges is entirely down to you. It’s not going to be easy but letting go can be a choice. You can choose not to hate, or feel anger, anymore.
 
When the frustrated thoughts occur to you, breathe them out. Remind yourself that this person has no power, only you do. No more letting this person win, especially if they’re already out of your life.
 
Distract yourself when these thoughts occur and forbid yourself from dwelling on them. No more obsessing, no more giving any of your precious time to this person who did you wrong.
 
See It from Their Side
 
It might be tough, even painful to do, but sometimes it can be helpful to put yourself in their shoes. Understand what happened in the beginning from a neutral point of view and wonder about how you would have reacted from their side.
 
Remember, we have all done wrong in our lives. We’ve all caused hurt in some way, it’s almost guaranteed. We are flawed, and that’s okay. Don’t place yourself on such a high pedestal that you can never forgive others’ mistakes.
 
It’s also important to understand that a person rarely has malicious intentions when they hurt us, they just acted thoughtlessly or inconsiderately towards our feelings. Rarely are our offenders genuinely evil. Their behavior may have been wrong but trying to connect with the reasons behind their actions might help you find solace.
 
Find the Root Cause
 
Most of the time, when we’re having trouble letting go of a grudge, there’s a deeper cause that we’re missing. This pain we carry tends to reflect a deep value that we hold that has been violated.
 
It can be beneficial to learn why this matter hurts you so much. Once you understand what fundamental moral of yours has been violated, you can start letting go of this grudge. Deep dive into why this moral is so important.
 
Most importantly, if you feel that something essential to you has been violated, then you know this person doesn’t belong in your life or mind. They don’t deserve your thoughts, because, in the end, their choices do not line up with your beliefs and values.
 
Letting go of grudges can be hard, but holding on is dangerous. Allow yourself to release the past. Be optimistic about your future, without bearing the weight of an ancient grudge. You’ll be surprised to see just how prosperous you can be when your mind is free from the torture that is on-going anger.
 
 

References:
  1. https://www.usnews.com
  2. https://journals.sagepub.com
  3. https://www.psychologytoday.com
 

Becky Storey
 

 




 

About the Author: Becky Storey


 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com

 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
Free counters!

  geoglobe1
 
 
publicado por achama às 08:53
Terça-feira, 07 / 01 / 20

I Had an Emotionally Unavailable Mother and Here’s What It Felt Like

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

January 7th, 2020.

 
EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE MOTHER.
 

 
 
Want to know what it feels like to be raised by an emotionally unavailable mother? Let me tell you my story.
 
Whenever someone asks me about my mother, I say ‘She died when I was young’. When they reply that they are so sorry, I always say ‘It doesn’t matter, she was an evil cow and I didn’t love her anyway. Most people are shocked.
 
Are you? If you are – why? You didn’t know her. You didn’t know what she was like. What it was like growing up with her. And before you say ‘Well yes that’s all very well, but she was your mother’, so what? Tell me what law or unwritten rule stipulates that I have to love my mother? There is none.
 
You might think it is disrespectful to talk the way I do. But those among you who have experienced an emotionally unavailable mother will understand my point of view. And believe me when I tell you that I tried my very hardest to love her.
 
What Is an Emotionally Unavailable Mother?
 
‘Emotionally unavailable mother’ to me is just a fancy psychological way of saying cold-hearted and unfeeling. But what is the difference between a mother who struggles sometimes to show her love and one that is emotionally unavailable? I can only tell you my story and it may appear cold and matter-of-fact.
 
But what if your mother never cuddled you or told you she loved you? Or actually even spoke to you that much? What if your mother used you as a means to earn money and her own personal housekeeper? How would you feel if she was abusive to your siblings and cold towards you? Perhaps then you might understand a little of how I feel.
 
So let me tell you a few stories about dear old mum. Maybe you’ll get where I’m coming from. Or perhaps you’ll think I’m being a total snowflake and I should just get over myself and stop blaming her for everything.
 
What It Feels Like to Have an Emotionally Unavailable Mother
 
No loving touch
 
I remember being very little, probably around 4 or 5 and craving my mother’s touch. She never touched me ever. Not a hug, a cuddle, nothing.
 
But she did do one thing and that was to come into my and my sisters’ bedrooms after a night out drinking and check we were all in bed. If our bedsheets were tangled, she would straighten them out.
 
This was an opportunity for me to receive a touch from my mother as sometimes if my arm was hanging out of the bed, she would put it back under the sheets. Imagine being this starved of a mother’s touch that you engineer a scenario where she might come into contact with you? And at that young age?
 
No response
 
Again, when I was young, I could write so I guess I was around the age of 5-6, I would leave little notes to my mother. The notes would say things like ‘I love you so much mum’ and ‘You are the best mum in the world’.
 
I would leave these love notes to my mother on her pillow on her bed so she would see them before she went to sleep. She never mentioned them. I would excitably go to bed and look under my pillow to see what she had left for me. After a few weeks, I stopped writing them.
 
Ignored wishes
 
I passed my 12+ which meant I could go to a local grammar school. There were two choices; an all-girls one which had a very posh reputation (not me at all, we lived on a council estate) or a local mixed grammar where all my friends were going.
 
Mother decided I was to attend the all-girls school. Despite my protests, she told me ‘It would look better on my CV later’ when I applied for jobs. Ironically, I wasn’t allowed to carry on and study for A-Levels. I had to work at the factory job she had found for me when I was 16 to help pay the household bills.
 
Can’t confide with your mother
 
I had a very bad time at grammar school. I didn’t know anyone. There were cliques of girls who had known one another from middle school and were quite happy to stay in their own little groups.
 
It got so bad that I ran away twice and went home. Each time my mother took me back to the school, no questions asked. The school did try to help but as far as mother was concerned I was to ‘get on with it’. I contemplated ending it all but got through it.
 
Some years later, mother and I were arguing and she had said she’d always done her best for me. I shouted back that because she’d sent me to that school I’d tried to top myself. I ran upstairs to my bedroom. She followed and for the first time in my life, she put her arm around me. It felt so odd and strange I felt physically sick and had to move away.
 
The Impact of Having a Mother Who Was Emotionally Unavailable
 
So that’s a little of my pity party story. There’s much more but a lot involves other people and that is their story to tell. So how am I affected and what do I do about it?
 
Well, I never wanted children. I don’t have a maternal bone in me. I am shown pictures of babies and I don’t get it. I don’t feel this flush of warmth or emotion. But show me a puppy or an animal in pain or distress and I am weeping like a baby. I think I feel emotionally attached to animals more because they have no voice. They can’t tell you what is wrong. I felt the same way during childhood.
 
I have a cold heart. I always say I have a heart of stone. Nothing touches it. I’ve formed this hard barrier around it so nothing will crack it. This is a survival technique I learned as a child. Don’t let anyone in and you won’t be hurt.
 
A late boyfriend of mine used to say to me ‘You are a hard nut to crack’ and I never knew what he meant but now I do. He also said that I was either clingy of hostile. This is also true. You are either everything to me or you are nothing.
 
As a child, I had an avoidant attachment style. I had spent a long time trying to get my mother’s attention. Having failed I shut down and become ambivalent about her. As an adult, this has transformed into a dismissive-avoidant style where I keep myself to myself. I avoid contact with others and keep emotions at arm’s length.
 
Despite the former tirade, I don’t blame my mother for anything.
 
In fact, I am thankful she had me. It was the 60s, she was out of wedlock and she could easily have not have done so.
 
I remind myself that I am not my mother. I understand the weaknesses of my upbringing and that allows me to cope with life as an adult.
 
Then, I have a tendency to shut myself away from people and have to try hard to socialise. The saying ‘better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all’ doesn’t apply to me. If there is a chance of losing love I won’t love in the first place.
 
I know why I have to be the centre of attention when I am in company. It is because I craved it as a child and never got it. Likewise, I like to shock people and see their reaction. This goes directly back to my mother. I would intentionally shock her when I was a teen. Just to try and get something out of her.
 
Final Thoughts
 
I think that we need to remember that emotional neglect from an unavailable mother can be as damaging as abuse and physical neglect. However, understanding how any kind of neglect has affected you is key to moving forward.

 

 
Janey Davies

 





About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

Archives:

 


 
A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com
 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
Free counters!

  geoglobe1
 

 

 
publicado por achama às 17:23
Sexta-feira, 03 / 01 / 20

How to Stop Complaining All the Time with 4 No-Nonsense Strategies

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 3rd, 2020.

 

 
 
We are all guilty of complaining. Busy schedules, bad weather and stress mount up and cause us to lose sight of the positives around us. Focusing on the negatives, and compounding this by complaining only worsens our mood and outlook. The more we complain, the more problems we perceive. Knowing that it is healthy to have a positive mindset, and knowing how to stop complaining are unfortunately somewhat mutually exclusive!
 
Here are some strategies that can help you to stop complaining, and start living a happier and healthier life:
 
Manage your expectations
 
Often we complain because something hasn’t met with our expectations. We feel inconvenienced and disappointed, and express this through complaining.
 
In order to learn how to stop complaining, we need to rephrase what we expect from a situation to avoid becoming disenchanted with a scenario that we should have been anticipating all along.
Let’s look at an example:
 
You have a meeting. You arrive in good time and wait in reception. Half an hour later, you are still waiting. This is frustrating and you feel unappreciated. Why should you make the effort to make sure you are there in plenty of time, just to be left waiting?
 
Now you are annoyed, and decide to stand up for yourself by complaining. The meeting starts with a negative undertone, and you find it difficult to engage in a positive way. You are left in a bad mood for the remainder of the day, and resent any suggestion that a further meeting might be requested in the future.
How to rephrase:
 
Let’s take a minute here. Could there be a very good reason that you were left waiting? Perhaps there was an emergency situation that had to be dealt with, and unfortunately, impacted your appointment?
 
There are very often times when we are required to wait. This could be in advance of a meeting, prior to an appointment, or even in a queue whilst shopping. Realistically, you could have anticipated the potential that you would have had some time to spare.
 
Rather than letting the situation frustrate you, and damage your perspective for the rest of the day, why not try and prepare for inconveniences?
 
Pack a good book into your bag as a great way to make the most of any spare time that comes your way! Falling behind with replying to emails, or have forgotten to call your parents in a few days? Use this time to catch up on other obligations and put the extra time to positive use and be able to tick something off of your To-Do list!
 
Using a little foresight to prepare for circumstances outside of our control gives us ownership. If you know your commute is likely to be long, download a few great podcasts to make your journey enjoyable. I’d guarantee that you would have a better evening having enjoyed the trip home rather than arriving through the door complaining about the traffic.
 
 
Every second counts; use them wisely!
 
Take time for gratitude
 
In the course of a busy day, there are lots of things which happen which we can express gratitude for. Busy schedules and pressures of life can mean we don’t ever stop to acknowledge them.
 
If you have the unfortunate habit of complaining, taking time to stop and reflect on all those things you are taking for granted is a powerful tool.
 
Try keeping a gratitude journal, where each day you write down one thing that you are grateful for. It could be a message from a loved one. You might be grateful for a sunny day. Perhaps you enjoyed a nice lunch, or are grateful for the clothes you have to wear. Living in a safe and dry home is something most of us are fortunate to experience but forget is not a given for everybody.
 
Once you start to focus on those positive aspects of your day, it helps illuminate your level of thinking to rise above things that might normally cause you to complain.
 
There are many things to be grateful for; it is never a bad day to stop and smell the flowers!
 
Avoid mutual dissatisfaction as a social tool
 
In social interactions, we all try to find common ground. This is a perfect way to strike up a conversation, break the ice, and get to know a little more about somebody.
 
The difficulty is that one of the easiest ways to establish something in common is to find something we both dislike. How many conversations have you experienced that start with complaining about the weather, or about how bad the traffic was today? I’d be willing to bet it is rather a lot.
 
One great way to stop complaining is to position yourself in a place where the negatives are always considered the lowest priority.
 
If you are going somewhere to meet new people, try having a few icebreakers in your back pocket; and make sure none of them are complaints! Here are a few ideas:
  • I really enjoy meeting new people, how about you?
  • May I ask a little more about what brings you here today?
  • These events are always great fun, have you been here before?
  • I’m really looking forward to the weekend with my family; do you have anything planned?
 
Complain in a constructive way
 
Complaining for the sake of expressing yourself is sometimes cathartic. However, it can be more positive and constructive to find a solution for the problem at hand.
 
If you are feeling frustrated and really need to vent, thinking about what actions you can take to avoid such a complaint recurring is a useful way both to take control of the situation and to find a positive solution.
 
Here are some thought process adjustments you can make:
 
Complaint: I’m so annoyed I can’t believe I didn’t get there on time!
 
Constructive complaint: I am frustrated with myself to have been running late. Next time I will set myself an alarm to leave 15 minutes earlier to allow for the traffic, which I know is usually bad this time of day.
 
Complaint: I won’t be coming here again; the service is far too slow!
 
Constructive complaint: I was disappointed with the service and will let my server know. I will ask if there is a reason that service today is not at the usual standard and will listen to the answer I receive.
 
Complaint: This queue is ridiculously long; I’ve wasted so much time!
 
Constructive complaint: Next time I need to visit this store, I will come at a quieter time of day to avoid the long queues.
 
 
References:
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 07:51
Segunda-feira, 30 / 12 / 19

3 Most Common Negative Feelings and How to Cope with Them

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted December 28, 2019.

 

 


We all experience negative feelings from time to time. How we manage them and having coping mechanisms in place is vital to ensure we can move forward and process our emotions in a healthy way.

Here are some of the most common negative feelings, what they mean, and how you can deal with them.

Anxiety/Nerves
Anxiety is common and can be a very normal emotion to experience. Preparing for a difficult conversation or practicing for an important job interview are situations that are bound to invoke nerves.


However, constant anxiety, particularly around everyday circumstances, can build up over time and create a pressure cooker of emotions which has a negative stressor effect on our health, both mental and physical.

What can you do to cope with anxiety?
If you are experiencing extreme or very regular anxiety, it is critical to recognise this and set aside some time to work through the causes. Often, anxiety is an indicator of an underlying problem, and talking through your feelings with somebody you trust is a great way of trying to work through the issues that could be causing it.

Ensure that you are practicing good self-care by sleeping well, keeping yourself active, and putting time into maintaining your close relationships even when you find it difficult to express yourself.

If you feel able to, try keeping a regular journal to identify when your anxiety is at its peak. This should help identify which parts of your life are causing your anxiety, and give you an idea about where the stress is being created that you need to work on mitigating or eliminating from your life.

Further help and support is available should you be experiencing intense feelings of anxiety. Please check our article about emotion-focused coping techniques for more guidance on dealing with anxiety.
Guilt

We can all feel guilty now and again; it is a negative emotion that can relate to any aspect of our lives. Parents often talk about guilt when trying to balance their priorities between parenting, career, social life and self-care.

Other triggers for feelings of guilt can involve being more fortunate than others or having to choose between social engagements or which friends to spend the most time with and feeling guilty at having had to make that choice.

You can also experience guilt as a result of having a guilty conscience; having done something you are not proud of, and then regretting your actions later.

How to cope with guilt

If you are struggling with feelings of guilt, the first step is to try and understand whether it is healthy or not. Should there be a clear and identifiable reason behind these negative feelings, and you know why you are experiencing guilt, this is likely a healthy emotion and a natural reaction to perhaps some behavior that you have come to regret.

In this circumstance there are several things you can do to alleviate your guilt:
  • Taking ownership of whatever action it may be that you regret
  • Apologizing to anybody who you feel you have wronged
  • Finding ways of making amends for any hurt you may have caused
  • Being prepared to listen to the person or people you have hurt, and giving them the time to find closure in explaining what you can do to move forward from this
  • How to manage unhealthy guilt

Unhealthy guilt is quite different and is where your emotions are not rational or identifiable. In this circumstance, you need to process the reasons behind your negative emotions and take steps to be able to clarify your mind to avoid dwelling on the situation unnecessarily.

This could involve speaking about your feeling with a group, or with a person you trust. You could try writing down exactly why you are experiencing guilt and try to identify things you can do to be proactive about controlling this emotion.

If your guilt is not within your control, you can look to work through those aspects which you can and identify where your behaviours can influence the situation.

Perhaps you have no reason to be experiencing guilt, in which case you need to ensure that you are not being manipulated into feeling guilty for events which you did not cause and move onwards and upwards.

Anger

Anger is probably one of the most common negative feelings. Everybody experiences anger to some extent when they feel wronged or treated unfairly.


How you manage anger, however, is crucial to maintaining healthy relationships and ensuring that your emotions are expressed clearly, whilst being under your control.

Ways to cope with anger
  • Take a deep breath. Often anger is a knee jerk reaction. Try counting to 10 slowly, closing your eyes, and practice deep breathing. Sometimes taking a moment out of the situation can be enough to calm down, and process how you wish to respond.
  • Give yourself some quiet time. If you are overwhelmed with a situation and feel as though you are close to lashing out, remove yourself to have some time to think and decide what course of action is best suited to the situation.
  • Identify the cause of your anger. Sometimes anger is rational, and expressing your feelings is essential to be able to ‘get it off your chest’. Other times, you may be misdirecting your anger, and need to ensure that you are not pointing the finger of blame in the wrong place.
  • Do something about it. Sometimes anger is frustration reaching the tipping point; if this is the scenario, try to take proactive and positive steps to dispel the circumstances which are leading you to experience negative emotions. Speak out, write a list, decide on actions – allow yourself to take active control of the situation.

If you are experiencing feelings of anger which you are struggling to control, do not hesitate to seek help. There are many anger management counsellors and groups who can help you work through the cause of your negative emotions and find healthy outlets to help you start feeling more positive.
 
 

 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:

 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com
 
 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 06:45
Quinta-feira, 26 / 12 / 19

The Five Buddha Families and How They Can Help You Understand Yourself

By Valerie Soleil.

learning-mind.com.

Posted December 25th, 2019. 

 
 
 
The Five Buddha Families are a vital principle in Buddhist philosophy. Buddhism is primarily concerned with reaching a state of Enlightenment, wholly separated from the individualistic and earth-bound tendencies of the Ego. Through the purging of ego-based beliefs and emotions, we grow to inhabit a space of Connection and Oneness with the Source. As a result, we become intimately conscious of being at One with All Creation.
 
Granted, we aren’t all Buddhist monks seeking absolute Enlightenment. Yet, the techniques that have been developed for this purpose can still be helpful in our own spiritual journeys.
 
 
In the first place, they can help us to understand our emotional landscapes. Secondly, they can help transcend limiting beliefs that might be holding us back from a higher consciousness. One of these techniques is known as the Five Buddha Families.
What are the Five Buddha Families?
Five Families, Five Emotional Energies
 
The Five Buddha Families help us to understand and work with emotional energies. Each family is the expressions of a state of being, represented by a Dhyani, or Meditation, Buddha. A season, element, symbol, colour and position on a five-sided mandala is associated with every family. Similarly, every state of being has its pure, wise or balanced form. Also, its klesha, imbalanced or deluded form.
 
The Five Buddha Families and their associated meditations provide a means of recognising which aspects of our emotional energy are out of balance. Subsequently, we can meditate on or pray to the appropriate family to regain equilibrium. In addition, we can seek to purge or pacify the emotional delusion that is holding us from Enlightenment.
 
The Five Buddha Families present a comprehensive understanding of the natural human condition. For instance, showing the interplay and dialogue between Enlightened and Deluded states of being rather than deny or repress Deluded states, the Five Meditation Buddhas call upon us to acknowledge and recognise them. Thus transforming their emotional force into positive energies.
 
The Five Families approach is not static or written in stone. Generally speaking, it’s a method by which we can identify our prevailing state of being.
 
Likewise, it is the perspective from which we are currently engaging with the world. This might be different from one year to the next, from one day to the next, or even from one hour to the next! It’s simply a guide so we can understand where we are coming from, and how this can help or hinder us.
Without further ado, here are the Five Buddha Families:
The Buddha Family
 
Lord: Vairochana, One Who Completely Manifests
Symbol: wheel
Element: space
 
Position in mandala: Centre
 
Colour: white
Enlightened State: making space
Deluded State: ignorance or dullness
 
The Buddha aspect is the one that allows the other families to function. In effect, acting as the root of these emotional energies. When in balance, we can make space for ourselves and others to better manifest our truth. Nevertheless, if our Buddha aspects are off-kilter, we can sink into lethargy. In other words, a spiritually unproductive space where nothing is being manifested.
The Varja Family
 
Lord: Akshobhya, The Unshakeable One
Symbol: vajra
Season: winter
Element: water
 
Position: East
Colour: blue
Enlightened State: purifying our perception of reality
Deluded State: anger
 
The Vajra family is all about the precision and intellectual exactness that allows us to perceive life with clarity. Emotions can often taint our perception of reality. However, Akshobhya calls us to sit with our feelings to recognise their causes.
 
Finding clarity within the emotion is crucial for not giving in to all-consuming anger. Of course, this can cloud our judgement and hides reality from us. Just as still pools reflect our truth back to us, or steady streams lead us to the ocean, turbulent waters and rushing rivers make it harder to perceive reality.
The Ratna Family
 
Lord: Ratnasambhava, Source of Preciousness
Symbol: jewel
Season: autumn
Element: earth
 
Position: South
 
Colour: yellow
Enlightened State: equanimity
Deluded State: pride
 
The Ratna Family is associated with merit, wealth and generosity. We know what is good and has value. For this reason, we do our best to attract it or increase its presence in our lives. Albeit, without falling into the trap of hoarding or avarice.
 
In remaining balanced and equanimous in our attitude to wealth, riches and merit, we steer clear of growing prideful and mean. We understand that we reap what we sow. Moreover, like the earth, we work to multiply the riches and merit around us. All in the spirit of appreciation, generosity and love.
The Padma Family
 
Lord: Amitabha, Infinite Light
Symbol: Lotus flower
Season: spring
Element: fire
 
Position: West
Colour: red
Enlightened State: empowering discrimination, seeing clearly what is needed
Deluded State: desirous attachment
 
This family is often linked with creativity and the arts. This is because of the association with passion and spring. However, this wisdom lies in discriminating love and attachment. It knows what to attract or reject for the betterment of our spiritual journey. As such, much like a flaming torch, it lights the way towards what we need.
 
Fatuous and temporary fascination or seduction, on the other hand, is misguiding. Consequently, it can lead us astray for our path of spiritual growth.
The Karma Family
 
Lord: Amogasiddhi, One Who Accomplishes What is Meaningful
 
Symbol: double vajra
Season: summer
Element: air
 
Position: north
Colour: green
Enlightened State: accomplishing good
Deluded State: jealousy
 
The Karma family very much encapsulates ‘doing.’ This means accomplishing things with meaning and impact. For example, picture an invigorating breath of fresh air on a hot summer’s day. This Karma aspect is energising and purposeful. However, if we are consumed with jealousy for another, it’s difficult to achieve anything based on good intentions. More to the point, our selfless drive and ambition can be hampered.
Finding Your Buddha Family
 
Which family do you identify with most? Are you more in the balanced or imbalanced state of being? As previously mentioned, the answer to these questions might change from day-to-day, month-to-month, or year-to-year. Still, it is good to regularly reflect on your perspective through the lens of the Five Buddha Families. Only then can you work towards maintaining balanced states of mind in all aspects.
Final Thoughts
 
We all veer from love and passion to jealousy and possession. Or from thoughtful discrimination to harsh, destructive anger. Ultimately, the Five Meditation Buddhas are the perfect tools with which to bring our Soul back to the centre.
 
After all, we should be ready to use our emotions for the progress of our spiritual journeys. Not let them be barriers to our growth.
References:

  1. msu.edu.htm
  2. www.bbc.co.uk


Valerie Soleil


 



 
About the Author: Valerie Soleil


Valerie Soleil is a writer with over 5 years of experience and holds a bachelor degree in law and a B.A. in Psychology. She is a physical & mental health enthusiast who constantly expands her knowledge about the mysteries of the human body and mind. Some of the activities Valerie is particularly passionate about are traveling and reading because they help her broaden her horizons.
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 

Archives:
 



 
A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 



 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 04:59
Domingo, 22 / 12 / 19

10 Signs of Unresolved Grief That Poisons Your Life

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted December 21st, 2019.

 


 

 

Have you ever felt like your heart was broken but did not know why? This could be due to unresolved grief.
 
When a loved one dies, we grieve, but then over time, we heal. It sounds simple, doesn’t it? Well, it’s not. Sometimes we have to deal with unresolved issues due to the grief we went through. It just doesn’t make sense now, does it? Everyone dies at some point, so why can’t we move on? I know I’m personally having a problem with this as well. It’s definitely something we want to soothe and heal properly.
 
But first, what is unresolved grief?
 
As time passes, the intensity of your grief should naturally lessen. You may be able to function more easily and return to your normal eating and sleeping patterns. Over more time, many people return to their normal daily routines even, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have unresolved grief hiding in the background.
 
Unfortunately, unresolved grief can show up unexpectedly in a very negative way. It has been known to affect current and future relationships in those who may not have completed the necessary passages of grief.
 
After a significant emotional loss such as death or end of a romantic relationship, people alter their life choices to protect their hearts from being hurt again. Have you ever done that?
 
I have, and I want you to know that it is okay. And I encourage working toward a resourceful solution, as it is the key to managing it effectively. It’s important to become familiar with some signs of unresolved grief in this post.
 
Warning signs that you are experiencing unresolved grief.
 
1. Appetite changes
 
When someone close to us passes away, we hardly notice our appetite changes. As time goes by, we may start to overeat, or not eat much at all.
 
I have seen people lose 20-30 lbs in just a month or two. This has happened to me as well. It’s difficult to explain exactly why we do this, but I can surmise that we are trying to use food as a balm for our pain, or maybe sometimes just a distraction. During the stages of grief, we might see this as part of denial.
 
2. Difficulty concentrating
 
Loved ones that were especially close to us will leave a hole where they used to be. Now, this hole, over time, will slowly fill with loving memories and warm feelings. At least, this is what’s supposed to happen.
 
Honestly, this can take years to happen if someone was a mother, child or mate. We will notice that it has become difficult to concentrate on anything without thinking of our loved one. We may start to fail classes, forget appointments, and even have trouble at work. It can take over every corner of our minds.
 
3. Sleep problems
 
When we lose loved ones, we may experience sleep problems. It could be that we sleep too much or we suffer from insomnia. It’s similar to our eating disorders when going through unresolved grief. We may also experience nightmares, or dreams where we are with our loved ones, just to awake and they are not there. Our realization when waking can hurt horribly once again.
 
4. Nauseating sadness
 
If we haven’t’ been able to get over the loss of a loved one, there could be stages of nauseating sadness. This sadness generally comes from anxiety. If the deceased was someone who was always there for you, and someone you could talk to, your anxiety levels will peak at times causing nausea, a sick stomach paired with sadness. It’s the worst feeling.
 
5. Inability to talk
 
Some people just cannot talk about the death of their friend or loved one. It’s too painful for them, or they are still in the stages of denial. Did you know that denial can last long past the time you thought you were okay? Many people will keep to themselves and refuse to even mention their loved one’s name. This is incredibly sad.
 
6. Not thinking
 
Like some people who stop talking about their loved ones, others will push their loved ones completely out of their minds. It seems easier for them to pretend that the deceased never existed. It’s not because they are being cruel, but simply trying to keep from completely breaking down.
 
Look, death can be horrendous for some people, while others can handle it well. For those who don’t wish to think of their loved ones, the deceased must have meant a lot to them.
 
7. Avoiding things
 
When someone you love dies, you attempt to heal. Some people do well with this and go back to their routine in life. Others will avoid doing anything because they feel stuck in the moment of death. This means avoiding places, people, things, and even losing jobs over their inability to return to work. Avoidance is another form of denial.
 
8. Not accepting any negative
 
Then you have some people who only want to talk about all the positive things in life, including all the good accomplishments of their deceased loved one. But there is never a moment for tears, or never a time to get angry for them. It’s as if they refuse to let any negative emotions emerge.
 
I’m going to tell you this, not accepting the negative with the positive can cause severe damage to your health. Eventually, you will hit the bottom, and all that positive thinking will crash. Grieving will be worse, than if you’d grieved earlier.
 
9. Fall back into routine
 
Yes, you should eventually return to routine. But here’s the other side of the coin: You should also allow yourself a bit of downtime to feel the pain. Yes, I said it. You have to feel the pain in order to heal from the pain. So, returning immediately to your ordinary life wouldn’t be the best thing to do. If you’re doing this, it’s definitely unresolved issues with grief.
 
10. Stop getting close to people
 
Unresolved grief can also make you turn cold toward others. The one you lost was so close to you that you refuse to hurt like that again. So, what do you do? You close yourself off from everybody else. There is healing to be done with the death of your loved one, and you’ve obviously not completed this cycle.
 
Yes, you can get through this in a healthy way.
 
Is your life forever changed after grief or a loss? Yes, it can be. Managing your grief is a good thing, but you don’t have to live the rest of your life in pain due to unresolved grief.
 
Imagine thinking about someone who died, or an ex, without feeling broken-hearted. Imagine living and loving to the fullest. What would that be like for you?
 
It can be done! I have done it and so can you! Seek out ways to manage your unresolved grief and watch the way you move forward to improve your joy, fulfillment, and life.
 
References:
 
 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:
 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com
 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
Free counters!

  geoglobe1
 
 
publicado por achama às 18:39
A Luz está a revelar a Verdade, e esta libertar-nos-á! -Só é real o AMOR Incondicional. -Quando o Amor superar o amor pelo poder, o mundo conhecerá a Paz; Jimi Hendrix. -Somos almas a ter uma experiência humana!

mais sobre mim

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Universidade de Aveiro