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Domingo, 09 / 02 / 20

5 Annoying Things a Know-It-All Does and How to Deal with Them

5 Annoying Things a Know-It-All Does and How to Deal with Them.

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted February 9th, 2020.

 


 
 
What is a know-it-all; and how do you know if you (or someone in your life) are one?
 
It is a person who thinks they know all the answers, to everything. Invariably, they don’t! We aren’t talking here about experts or people with a high level of knowledge. We are considering people who think they are far more knowledgeable than they are.
 
Know-it-alls tend not to have the self-awareness to recognize this trait. So how do you spot such a person, and most importantly, how do you deal with them?
 
Key traits of a know-it-all
 
1. Arrogance
 
Know-it-alls will truly believe they have all the answers. This ego can manifest in several ways, but invariably, this type of person cannot accept that there is a multitude of things that they do not understand.
 
This huge ego is one of the easiest ways to spot a know-it-all, since they will wear their arrogance on their sleeve, and even believe it to be a positive trait!
 
2. Argumentative
 
If you come across someone who is extremely argumentative for no particular reason, there is a good chance they are a know-it-all. This type of person loves the opportunity to prove somebody else wrong, or to make a point. They might insert themselves into somebody else’s conversation just for the opportunity of sparking an argument.
 
Such a smarty might also turn a gentle discussion into a full-blown row, just for the chance to make their voice heard.
 
3. Patronizing
 
Every know-it-all believes themselves to be of higher intelligence than the people around them. Whilst this couldn’t be further from the truth, they will take great pl
easure in condescending, speaking down to and patronizing others with their superior intellect.
 
This patronizing nature comes from the belief that everybody else is less knowledgeable than they are.
 
4. Correcting others
 
The one thing that a smarty loves best is to be able to correct somebody else. Jumping in uninvited to a conversation, making a point of identifying errors and flaws in another’s argument, or loudly stating corrections is a sure-fire sign of a know-it-all.
 
5. Making excuses
 
On the other hand, the one thing know-it-alls hate most is to be wrong. You would have a very hard time convincing them of this fact, but if a smarty is proven to be incorrect, especially in a public setting, they will endeavor to find any reason to excuse their misinformation.
 
If they use the wrong word, they might try to pass it off as a colloquialism, for example, or say that they had misheard the question. Anything but admit being wrong!
 
So now we know the key traits of know-it-alls, how can we deal with them?
 
Dealing with a know-it-all
 
As with most unpleasant personality traits, a smarty usually has underlying insecurity that leads to their arrogant behavior. These could include:
  1. Insecurity about their own intellect – trying so hard to bury their feelings of inadequacy that they turn this around into being a know-it-all.
  2. Lack of self-control – they might be compulsive and feel unable to keep quiet even if their contribution to the conversation is unwelcome.
  3. A desire for praise – somebody who yearns for approval might act as an over-achiever, and try to come up with a meaningful answer for every question and appear to be smarter than they are.
How to handle know-it-alls
 
Here are my tips as to how to manage a know-it-all, particularly when they are a person you are likely to encounter every day, such as a family member, friend or colleague.
 
1. Ask questions
 
A smarty wants to wow the world with their knowledge, and can often alienate friends by having a retort or comment deriding every statement somebody else might make.
 
This can be diffused by asking them questions. This gives a know-it-all the outlet to express themselves, get their opinions off of their chest and perhaps might mitigate their compulsion to denigrate anybody else’s thoughts or feelings.
 
2. Define the limitations of your time
 
A smarty-pants wants approval. If you find yourself losing valuable time listening to their ramblings, it is up to you to set the boundaries of your time.
 
Try explaining that, whilst you are interested in their opinion, you have an urgent matter to attend to. Or, set the parameters before you talk if you have a colleague who thinks they know everything and you know can wax lyrical for hours on end.
 
3. Admit to not knowing
 
This only works in some circumstances, but know-it-alls may feel fearful of being ‘found out’ and try to obscure that with having an answer for every question. If this is the underlying reason for their behavior, rather than genuine arrogance, saying that you don’t know the answer could put them at ease.
 
Realizing the comfort with which most people have in not knowing absolutely everything is an assurance that this is completely normal, and that they will not be judged for not being a human encyclopedia!
 
4. Try to be understanding
 
If all else fails, you could try showing tolerance for a smarty-pants who probably finds it very hard to maintain friendships or relationships. They might genuinely not realize the extent of their behavior, or how off-putting it can be, so showing empathy might help them to calm down and control their impulses.

 

Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
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publicado por achama às 23:44
Sábado, 14 / 12 / 19

Why Having the Last Word Is So Important for Some People & How to Handle Them

Lauren Edwards-Fowle.

learning-mind.com

Posted December 13, 2019.

 

 

Having the last word for some people means winning the argument. Whilst this clearly isn’t always true, it is a frustrating trait that applies to more than just Wikipedia!

It is worth remembering that the person who wins the debate is not necessarily the person who shouts the loudest, or gets in the last word.

Often a person with this personality is likely to be an egomaniac or bordering on being one. An egomaniac can be defined as a person who is obsessively self-centred or egotistical.

Why do egomaniacs feel the need to have the last word?

There are many reasons people behave as they do. Trying to understand the psyche behind aggressive behaviourscan help to plan your course of action if you regularly deal with people who insist on always having the last word.

Insecurity:

Somebody who lacks confidence or self-esteem may try to assert themselves in other ways, by expressing himself or herself in a forceful way. This is a familiar scenario in bullying, where often the aggressor is a victim in another way.

Should this be the possible reason for their insistence on having the last word, trying to discuss your differences with sensitivity might help to reach a peaceful outcome. They probably need to be heard more strongly than they need to feel validated.

Arrogance:

A person with extreme arrogance may genuinely not be able to accept that they might be incorrect, or that another person’s opinion is equally as valid as their own. This is an unfortunate trait to have, and it may be that an extremely arrogant person simply isn’t worth arguing within any circumstance.
Egocentricity:

Some people simply need to be the centre of attention, and will argue black is white in order to keep the spotlight. This can occur for lots of reasons; they might feel ignored in their home life, or feel impotent in other areas of their social or professional relationships.

If a person is unreasonable simply for attention, it isn’t wise to stroke their ego. You will only find yourself drawn into their appeals for attention, and may be supporting their egocentricity by doing so.

Power:

Having the last word can be perceived as powerful, often by people who lack assertiveness in other areas of their lives. This is a difficult scenario to deal with, as you are the unwitting recipient of their onslaught that is enforcing their own feelings of control and power.

Try not to be drawn into a debate with this person; they will do their utmost to drive you down for their own self-esteem.

Anger:

Refusal to debate calmly can be a reaction to feelings of anger, and shouting down an opponent is a way to express their feelings. In this situation, it may be best to revisit the discussion when the other person has had time to calm down. Otherwise, debating with an angry opponent could quickly turn into a volatile situation.

Dominance:

As with power, a person who feels the innate need to dominate others or to establish their seniority may do so by insisting they have the final word in any conversation. A scenario most likely to exist in the workplace, people can try to demonstrate their dominance over peers or colleagues by forcing them to concede an argument.

In this situation, you need to reinforce your own self-esteem, and perhaps have a third party step in. Don’t be crushed by another person’s drive to control your actions; make sure your voice is heard even when you are speaking quietly.

How should you deal with an egomaniac, and is there any way to have a productive debate?

When you are having a discussion with somebody who refuses to listen, it is wise to choose not to continue the conversation. This might sound counterproductive, but channelling energy and time into a scenario that is never going to have a mutually agreeable outcome is not a worthwhile investment.

If an opponent makes the decision to step away from the debate, this can entirely diffuse the situation. You are not obliged to continue a dialogue that makes you feel uncomfortable. Nor is it your sole responsibility to change the mind of a person who refuses to listen to reason.

Take a step back. There is a better chance that your arguments will mature over time and that any valid points you have made will remain in their thought process and perhaps inform behaviour in time.

Keep your own poise

Feeling frustrated is understandable. If you are trying to reach an agreement in a fruitless discussion, you might feel embattled and try ever more strenuously to communicate your perspective.

If a debate is continuing to escalate, at some point this needs to end before it turns into a heated exchange which is a negative experience for all involved.

In order to de-escalate a tense situation, you might do well to agree to disagree. You don’t ever have to agree with something which you feel is wrong or incorrect, but you can express your acceptance of another person’s point of view without having to concede that you are not right.

Silence speaks volumes

Don’t feel drawn or forced into an impossible discussion. If you know that you are dealing with an egomaniac that has no intention of considering another perspective, you can decide not to engage in the conversation.

Being the bigger person isn’t always the easiest course of action, but may save your headspace from becoming bogged down with an argument that you were never going to win.

Particularly in contentious circumstances (politics springs straight to mind!) it might be wiser to say nothing at all and keep your peace.
References:
  1. Psychology Today
  2. Your Tango
 

 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 

 

 
About the Author: Lauren Edwards-Fowle


 
Lauren Edwards-Fowle is a professional copywriter based in South East England. Lauren worked within Children's Services for five years before moving into the business sector. She holds an MSc in Applied Accountancy and BSc in Corporate Law. She now volunteers within the community sport sector, helping young people to live healthier, more productive lifestyles and overcome the barriers to inclusion that they face. With a keen interest in physical wellbeing, nutrition and sports, Lauren enjoys participating in a variety of team sports in her spare time, as well as spending time with her young family and their dog Scout.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
Free counters!

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publicado por achama às 04:07
Quarta-feira, 15 / 05 / 19

6 Types of People Who Love Playing the Victim and How to Deal with Them ~ Sherrie.

6 Types of People Who Love Playing the Victim and How to Deal with Them.

By Sherrie.

May 14th, 2019

 

Dealing with those who are playing the victim can be exhausting. Who exactly are these people?
It’s hard to talk about the victim mentality because many people have no idea they’re adopting it. It can be upsetting when they learn this truth.
Don’t know what it means to play the victim? Well, that’s because so many character flaws and toxic behaviors like this are seen as normal. The fact is, being a victim and having a victim mentality isn’t the same.

Who is playing the victim game?

Playing games with people’s lives is a manipulative act. People play roles in order to get what they want, or simply because of their upbringing. They may be stuck in a negative pattern due to childhood abuse, neglect, or trauma.
Here are a few types of people who tend to use the victim mentality:

1. The selfish

Those who act in a selfish manner will use the victim strategy. Sadly, when it comes to choosing others over themselves, playing the role of the victim will remove guilt when being selfish instead.
It will also make others feel sorry for them and give in to their wants and demands. Selfless people, on the other hand, try not to use the victim mentality in order to help others without putting the spotlight on their own needs. It’s just a different mindset altogether.

2. Controlling individuals

Some people absolutely must be in control no matter what’s happening in their lives. They use pity to make sure things go their way. They want to control the outcome of their lives and the people in it as well.
If they cannot control others in any other way, they will turn to playing games and playing the victim.

3. Parasitic people

Sometimes people like this understand what they are doing, and sometimes they do not. You can become a parasitic person when you’re trying to build your self-esteem off others who feel more confident.
Being the victim allows you to feed off the compliments of others which ultimately drains them. You see, when you’re a victim, you will never get enough of praise and support. You could have been a real victim in the past, and now you’re stuck in this mentality.

4. Those afraid of anger

I’ve noticed many people using the victim game because of the inability to properly deal with their anger. In some cases, they are afraid of the consequences of their anger, or maybe they’ve experienced situations where they’ve lost control, and they hate the feeling.
Either way, the victim mentality eventually replaces the ability to have healthy angry feelings and hinders the proper processing of these feelings and emotions.
Remember, it’s okay to feel anger, it’s just not okay to misuse this feeling. It’s even worse to become a perpetual victim.

5. The mentally ill

People who suffer from mental illness will often play the victim. Yes, and I have done this too. Most of the time, it’s due to feeling overwhelmed by the symptoms of the illness.
With bipolar disorder, for example, the victim mentality may come after a severe bout of mania due to the refusal to take medication. Instead of accepting the fault of not taking their medication, they may play the victim to keep from accepting responsibility for the negative actions from their illness.
No, we should never be too hard on the mentally ill, but everyone has to take a certain amount of responsibility at some point, especially when that person understands what to do.

6. Trauma survivors

While it is completely normal to feel victimized after trauma, it’s not normal to hold onto being a victim forever. You must remind yourself, or remind your loved ones, that enduring traumaand healing makes you a survivor and no longer a victim.
This, like the case of mental illness, is a sensitive topic, so tread lightly when trying to help others. Also, be kind to yourself, if this is you, but also keep trying to restructure and rebuild your life.

Dealing with the victim mentality

If you’re the one playing the role of victim, you must look within. What are your inner voices saying to you? Are you telling yourself that life isn’t fair to you? If so, there are probably other statements you’re using to justify your behavior.
You have to stop the negative voices. I know how hard this can be, but you can take one small step at a time. Practice turning those statements around into powerful assertions which help build your self-esteem. You don’t have to play the victim in order to solve a problem. It just seems like the easier way out.
If the one who is stuck in playing these patterns is your loved one or friend, then helping them transform their inner dialogue will help a bit.
You must understand, however, that changing thought patterns and inner statements will have to be done by the one who thinks these things. So, have patience if you’re willing to help.
Stand firm. Let your friends and loved ones know that you will not be taken for granted by victimizing behavior. While it’s okay to help people heal, it’s not okay to destroy yourself in the process.
I hope this has helped you understand what playing the role of victim means and who does this. Now, that you know, you can tackle this situation properly and take back control of your own life. I wish you well in your endeavors to be a better person and help others do the same.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://www.lifehack.org

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.

 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


More @ http://violetflame.biz.ly and 
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publicado por achama às 07:47
Quarta-feira, 24 / 04 / 19

9 Signs of Superiority Complex You Could Have Without Even Noticing ~ Sherrie.

9 Signs of Superiority Complex You Could Have Without Even Noticing.

By Sherrie.

April 22, 2019


 

Many people have a superiority complex but just don’t recognize the signs. Now’s the time to see these imperfections as truth and improve.

Did you know that all of us have a certain amount of superiority? It’s just the few that let this part of us get out of hand. It’s called the superiority complex, a name penned by a man named Alfred Adler.
And here’s an interesting tidbit, Adler believed that the superior complex may be a way to deny the inferiority of an individual. You see, they are different sides of the same coin, but yet being superior may actually hide inferiority.

Recognizing the dysfunction

So, you can see how this becomes a balancing act. Feeling inferior and suffering superiority can be exhausting, but it must be done in order to live a productive life. Now, to start improvements in this area, you must understand the signs of this complex of superiority. Let’s examine these indicators:

1. Feelings of entitlement

The feeling of entitlement is hard to recognize in adults. This is because it came from a complicated childhood. For instance, a grandmother may give her grandchild all the material things he craves, but yet, may not give him the emotional and mental upbringing he needs.
Because of this, the child will grow to feel entitled to everything he wants. He wasn’t taught morals and standards, but yet, he was given everything. Do you see where this can lead to a spoiled brat with a lack of responsibilities?

2. “I” and “me”

Those with a superior type of complex will think in terms of themselves. When it comes to discussing events, situations, or relationships, they will center on self. I think another word for this condition is “self-centered”.
These individuals will always try to do better than others, and when they hear of someone’s accomplishments, they will try to do better and put themselves into the spotlight instead. If you see someone like this, realize, it’s more common than you think.

3. Making comparisons

Do you remember what I said about superiority being the denial of the inferiority complex? Well, this is true, and it shows when people make comparisons. When a person suffers from being too superior, they will often compare themselves to others. When others seem to be making more accomplishments, they will feel defeated. And, of course, this means, they must do something to change that.
Here’s an example: When someone has this complex, and they notice an achievement, they will often take up the same sport, hobby, or pastime in order to eventually do even better.
I’ve seen it happen first hand, and if you tell them that you notice, they will get angry andremain in denial. They like to say, “I’m just bettering myself”, which is good. But usually, you can make the connection and differentiate between the two.

4. Defy authorities

Many times, those who suffer from problems with superiority, will defy authority. They actually think they are above the law and can do whatever they please. Some of them think they will never be caught doing the wrong things. They are also secretive in friendships, with family, and in relationships.
All the social laws and constructs have no bearing on them. Some even think they could possibly be immortal. I know this is a bit far-fetched, but you would be surprised just how far their superiority will go.

5. Manipulation

Being able to manipulate is a common advantage for those who feel superior. They can use anger and threats to get what they want. It’s what those who feel entitled use as one of their greatest weapons. But manipulation isn’t just used during entitlement, oh no.
Manipulation can be used in connection with narcissism and unhealthy relationship issues. One of the worst areas of manipulation is when they use the guilt trip to make you feel bad for standing up for yourself.

6. Lack of empathy

People with a superior complex usually have no empathy for others. They don’t care for others or try to understand the situations of others. Their lack of empathy creates a cold and calculating individual who clearly feels better than others around them.
Their feelings and concerns are the only things that matter, and so, they will always come before others. For those whose intuition is strong, they will blatantly deny any truths targeted toward their superiority dysfunction.

7. Condescending behavior

An unhealthy amount of superiority may be the reason why your friend or loved one speaks or acts in a condescending manner. They may assume they are smarter in conversations and offer definitions for words they feel are too complicated for their group to understand.
They may gossip about others they feel are beneath them or refuse to associate with certain people – sometimes it’s low-income individuals which they avoid. There are many ways the condescending manner works for them.

8. Mood swings

Considering superiority is sometimes a cover up for inferiority, it would stand to reason that these feelings collide and conflict with each other. This struggle creates great mood swings. In one moment, they may feel better than others, and the other moment, they may feel far below other individuals. These mood swings can lead to depression.

9. Controlling behavior

Most of the time, those with a superior type of complex will want to be in controlFeeling out of control of any given situation is uncomfortable and sometimes even devastating. If they’ve lost control, they feel that they’ve lost their superior status. No longer can they call all the shots, and no longer are they the most important issue or person.

Turning things around

While it’s not easy to beat this complex of superiority, it is possible. Like I said before, it’s generally a balancing act. When you feel any of these characteristics with you, stop and ask why. Then work on reducing them as much as possible.
As for those you know someone with this complex, you can tell them what they’re doing and offer help and support. Then it’s up to them to decide to make that change. Take a little time and understand these points so you and your friends and family can benefit and even help others as well.
References:
  1. https://www.bustle.com
  2. https://news.umich.edu
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

Thanks to: Learning Mind <noreply+feedproxy@google.com>
 

Archives:

 

 
 



Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.

 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


More @ http://violetflame.biz.ly and 
https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/




 

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publicado por achama às 17:57
A Luz está a revelar a Verdade, e esta libertar-nos-á! -Só é real o AMOR Incondicional. -Quando o Amor superar o amor pelo poder, o mundo conhecerá a Paz; Jimi Hendrix. -Somos almas a ter uma experiência humana!

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