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Domingo, 22 / 12 / 19

10 Signs of Unresolved Grief That Poisons Your Life

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted December 21st, 2019.

 


 

 

Have you ever felt like your heart was broken but did not know why? This could be due to unresolved grief.
 
When a loved one dies, we grieve, but then over time, we heal. It sounds simple, doesn’t it? Well, it’s not. Sometimes we have to deal with unresolved issues due to the grief we went through. It just doesn’t make sense now, does it? Everyone dies at some point, so why can’t we move on? I know I’m personally having a problem with this as well. It’s definitely something we want to soothe and heal properly.
 
But first, what is unresolved grief?
 
As time passes, the intensity of your grief should naturally lessen. You may be able to function more easily and return to your normal eating and sleeping patterns. Over more time, many people return to their normal daily routines even, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have unresolved grief hiding in the background.
 
Unfortunately, unresolved grief can show up unexpectedly in a very negative way. It has been known to affect current and future relationships in those who may not have completed the necessary passages of grief.
 
After a significant emotional loss such as death or end of a romantic relationship, people alter their life choices to protect their hearts from being hurt again. Have you ever done that?
 
I have, and I want you to know that it is okay. And I encourage working toward a resourceful solution, as it is the key to managing it effectively. It’s important to become familiar with some signs of unresolved grief in this post.
 
Warning signs that you are experiencing unresolved grief.
 
1. Appetite changes
 
When someone close to us passes away, we hardly notice our appetite changes. As time goes by, we may start to overeat, or not eat much at all.
 
I have seen people lose 20-30 lbs in just a month or two. This has happened to me as well. It’s difficult to explain exactly why we do this, but I can surmise that we are trying to use food as a balm for our pain, or maybe sometimes just a distraction. During the stages of grief, we might see this as part of denial.
 
2. Difficulty concentrating
 
Loved ones that were especially close to us will leave a hole where they used to be. Now, this hole, over time, will slowly fill with loving memories and warm feelings. At least, this is what’s supposed to happen.
 
Honestly, this can take years to happen if someone was a mother, child or mate. We will notice that it has become difficult to concentrate on anything without thinking of our loved one. We may start to fail classes, forget appointments, and even have trouble at work. It can take over every corner of our minds.
 
3. Sleep problems
 
When we lose loved ones, we may experience sleep problems. It could be that we sleep too much or we suffer from insomnia. It’s similar to our eating disorders when going through unresolved grief. We may also experience nightmares, or dreams where we are with our loved ones, just to awake and they are not there. Our realization when waking can hurt horribly once again.
 
4. Nauseating sadness
 
If we haven’t’ been able to get over the loss of a loved one, there could be stages of nauseating sadness. This sadness generally comes from anxiety. If the deceased was someone who was always there for you, and someone you could talk to, your anxiety levels will peak at times causing nausea, a sick stomach paired with sadness. It’s the worst feeling.
 
5. Inability to talk
 
Some people just cannot talk about the death of their friend or loved one. It’s too painful for them, or they are still in the stages of denial. Did you know that denial can last long past the time you thought you were okay? Many people will keep to themselves and refuse to even mention their loved one’s name. This is incredibly sad.
 
6. Not thinking
 
Like some people who stop talking about their loved ones, others will push their loved ones completely out of their minds. It seems easier for them to pretend that the deceased never existed. It’s not because they are being cruel, but simply trying to keep from completely breaking down.
 
Look, death can be horrendous for some people, while others can handle it well. For those who don’t wish to think of their loved ones, the deceased must have meant a lot to them.
 
7. Avoiding things
 
When someone you love dies, you attempt to heal. Some people do well with this and go back to their routine in life. Others will avoid doing anything because they feel stuck in the moment of death. This means avoiding places, people, things, and even losing jobs over their inability to return to work. Avoidance is another form of denial.
 
8. Not accepting any negative
 
Then you have some people who only want to talk about all the positive things in life, including all the good accomplishments of their deceased loved one. But there is never a moment for tears, or never a time to get angry for them. It’s as if they refuse to let any negative emotions emerge.
 
I’m going to tell you this, not accepting the negative with the positive can cause severe damage to your health. Eventually, you will hit the bottom, and all that positive thinking will crash. Grieving will be worse, than if you’d grieved earlier.
 
9. Fall back into routine
 
Yes, you should eventually return to routine. But here’s the other side of the coin: You should also allow yourself a bit of downtime to feel the pain. Yes, I said it. You have to feel the pain in order to heal from the pain. So, returning immediately to your ordinary life wouldn’t be the best thing to do. If you’re doing this, it’s definitely unresolved issues with grief.
 
10. Stop getting close to people
 
Unresolved grief can also make you turn cold toward others. The one you lost was so close to you that you refuse to hurt like that again. So, what do you do? You close yourself off from everybody else. There is healing to be done with the death of your loved one, and you’ve obviously not completed this cycle.
 
Yes, you can get through this in a healthy way.
 
Is your life forever changed after grief or a loss? Yes, it can be. Managing your grief is a good thing, but you don’t have to live the rest of your life in pain due to unresolved grief.
 
Imagine thinking about someone who died, or an ex, without feeling broken-hearted. Imagine living and loving to the fullest. What would that be like for you?
 
It can be done! I have done it and so can you! Seek out ways to manage your unresolved grief and watch the way you move forward to improve your joy, fulfillment, and life.
 
References:
 
 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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publicado por achama às 18:39
Sábado, 30 / 11 / 19

What Is Swedish Death Cleaning and Why You Should Practice It at Any Life Stage

Jamie Logie.

November 29th, 2019. 

 

 
 
If you’re looking for more organization in your life, you need to look into Swedish Death Cleaning.
 
This might be a brand new phrase to you, but it’s one that’s worth getting familiar with. Swedish Death Cleaning has to do with organization, and I’m sure you could use more of that in your life. But it goes far beyond just cleaning up around you.
 
This article will get you familiar with this method and why it’s something that you should practice at any stage of your life.
 
What Is Swedish Death Cleaning?
 
Think of Swedish Death Cleaning as decluttering. The big concept behind this is that as you declutter the mess around you, you declutter your mind. That’s the simple concept of it, but it goes deeper.
 
Look at your life at around the age of 50. You would have lived a large percentage of it, and though it may seem morbid, you are closer to the end.
 
This can now become about not leaving a ton of stuff behind that people have to clean up after you. Death Cleaning can be done at any time obviously, but the age of 50 is the ideal time to remove a lot of unnecessary things from your life. This will help you live a healthier happier life but also doesn’t burden those who would have to inherit and deal with all the stuff you’ve left behind.
 
In Sweden, they call this: “döstädning” and it is a combination of the words “dö” and “städning” which means “death” and “cleaning” respectively.
 
Swedish Death Cleaning does sound morbid, but it’s actually about freedom and living a happier life. When you remove excess clutter from around you, you open up the surrounding space. The things you keep and pass on will be of greater value and more meaningful – as opposed to just a bunch of junk.
 
This helps you to remember that you are not immortal and that there are responsibilities that you will leave behind. The idea is to leave as little a burden as possible.
 
Why Is Swedish Death Cleaning So Beneficial?
 
So that’s a good overview but, again, you need not wait until later in life to apply this. The sooner you start with removing unnecessary items from your life, the better. You may have heard about removing items that don’t bring joy to your life, and this is a good approach to take here too.
 
Swedish Death Cleaning is taking a good hard look at what you really don’t need. You are looking to permanently reorganize your life to make it more optimal and enjoyable. It is also a good exercise for the mind, and it helps you decide on what is truly valuable to you.
 
You also get a good dose of nostalgia as you get to remember why certain things are important for you. It helps you in remembering the past and appreciating what you have got. Swedish Death Cleaning is also something you don’t want to put off as it may help your mental health.
 
Paring down the items in your life lets you focus on the more important things making you happier. It also helps you to realize that happiness doesn’t come from stuff but from relationships. The more you focus on material possessions, you are more at risk to be unhappy, anxious, and even have low self-esteem.
 
It will also make you feel more productive and motivate you to tackle other projects and duties. Swedish Death Cleaning also can help you deal with the concept of your own mortality. It’s a tough subject, but many people don’t give it much thought – or avoid it altogether.
 
Acknowledging death is important to get a better sense of your self, how others see you, and how you want to be remembered.
 
Where Do You Start with Swedish Death Cleaning?
 
This style of cleaning is more than just dusting and rearranging the furniture. You are making conscious decisions to remove a majority of unneeded objects. The secret here is to not take everything on at once. If you try to overhaul everything in your life right away, it’s just going to leave you frustrated and defeated.
 
Instead, focus on one area at a time before moving on. And start SMALL. A good place is starting with your closets. You can devote all your attention to what you need and don’t need but not as overwhelming as trying to go through the garage or basement.
 
From there, you can move on to bigger projects such as going through the bathroom, then a living room. Take your time with each area and don’t feel that you have to do it all right away.
 
When you devote enough time to each area, you make it more likely to focus and finish it. As you move through these rooms and areas, you can gradually get bigger, such as going through your bedroom.
 
After progressing with these first areas, you should find yourself motivated and encouraged to tackle larger projects such as the basement, garage, or storage unit. And that’s why you want to start small. You need to build up this skill to become more efficient at it.
 
It’s also why you want to save the largest projects for the end. By that point, you should be an expert at deciding what has value and what I do not need. You will have tapped into your emotions that help you decide this and will have become better at letting things go.
 
Final Thoughts
 
You can see now that Swedish Death Cleaning is more than just “tidying up.” This is a psychological practice that helps you control your life and prepare you for the future.
 
It helps you consider your own mortality and makes you aware of the impact you have on the lives of others. It also hopefully helps you to take stock of your own life, find out what is truly meaningful, and leave the right type of legacy behind.
 
References:
 
 

About the Author: Jamie Logie

 


 
Jamie Logie is a personal trainer, nutritionist, and health and wellness specialist. Jamie also studied sociology and psychology at Western University and has a counseling diploma from Heritage Baptist College. He has run a blog and top-rated podcast on iTunes called "Regained Wellness". Jamie is also a contributing writer for places like the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, LifeHack and has an Amazon #1 book called "Taking Back Your Health".
 

 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

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publicado por achama às 06:11
Sexta-feira, 01 / 11 / 19

The Psychology of Angels of Mercy: Why Do Medical Professionals Kill?

By Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com.

October 31st, 2019.

 
angels of mercy psychology.


 
Angels of mercy are known by two definitions. One is considered a benevolent watchful spirit, and the other a bringer of death.
 
The angel of mercy I refer to today is the one who brings death by my own hands. They’re not winged creatures sent by God, no. They’re more like hospital employees killing patients while playing “nurse”. And yet, they are registered nurses, received accreditation and diplomas, and work in the medical field sometimes for decades. But they are also angels of mercy or rather angels of DEATH.
 
A few cases of “mercy” killings
 
One case concerning the angel of mercy is about an ex-German nurse, Neils Hogel. He admits to killing over 100 patients by injections causing cardiac arrest. Hogel claims he was only trying to impress others by reviving the patients, unsuccessfully, I might add, but this claim didn’t seem viable.
 
Most likely, Hogel was acting as an angel of death, or angel or mercy, however you view this sort of activity. Hogel was able to conduct his killings between 1995 and 2003 before caught.
 
In 2001, nurse Kirsten Gilbert killed four of her patients by injecting epinephrine, causing cardiac arrest, then she would attempt to resuscitate them. It was thought that she was trying to draw attention to herself as a hero, and also draw attention from the police proving that someone else was trying to kill patients.
 
A bit of psychology about serial killers
 
Most serial killers seem to fit in the antisocial category or even have an antisocial personality disorder. Unlike most serial killers, however, medical killers like angels or mercy don’t always fit into this characteristic. For instance, as far back as the 1800s, we see one such angel of mercy conduct several medical killings, with a smile on her face.
 
Jane Toppan was called “Jolly Jane” because she was always happy and kind to everyone. Unfortunately, she had a dark secret. She derived sexual pleasure from killing her own patients.
 
Toppan was a nurse in Boston who experimented secretly on her patients with morphine and atropine and then killing them with overdoses. She would watch them die slowly and gain pleasure from the fact. When she was finally caught, she said it was her goal to kill as many people as possible.
 
 
 
Two types of angels of mercy
 
Just like any other type of serial killer, there are two basic types. There are organized and disorganized killers. The organized version is neater, smarter, and takes more risks, while the disorganized killers are sloppy, random, and generally does the easier killings.
 
Medical killers, like the angels of death, fall into these two categories, and so this is the main similarity between them and other types of serial killers.
 
A few facts about the angel of mercy
 
Most angels of mercy are female, although there are many male versions as well. I can guess this is because of the higher percentage of female nurses in the medical field. Women often seem to be trusted more in the nursing profession as well, which gives them an advantage.
 
Most angels of mercy use more passive ways of murder like medications or injections. It’s rarer to find suffocation or violence as the cause of death in these cases.
 
Reasons for these killings
 
There are a few reasons why angels of mercy do what they do. As I mentioned above, some do this to play hero when resuscitation is involved or getting the attention of authorities, which I might add is risky on their part and rarely works.
 
Angels of mercy may also truly believe that they are helping the patient by ending their suffering, especially if they are elderly or suffering from a terminal illness. It’s more or less like an in-house Dr. Kevorkian, coming to save the patient from extreme and unnecessary pain.
 
Also, some angels of death simply kill for power or as a mode of stimulation. Normal life has lost its meaning for them and something more extreme has to be done in order to feel like life has any meaning, even if it means killing. Many other types of serial killers feel the same way.
 
Past traumas can also cause the angel of mercy killings, especially if past trauma involved an elderly relative or a high number of deaths in the family at any given time. The killer may dwell on death as an inevitable fate, which it is, and turn to kill to aid in the natural process of death.
 
And of course, there are many reasons yet, we’ve found, that make nurses want to kill their patients. But there is never a good enough reason for us to take death into our own hands, especially without the consent of the one being killed. At least with assisted suicide, you do have the consent of the dying before ending the life. But that’s an altogether different topic…
 
It’s kind of frightening
 
While most of the patients killed by the angels of mercy were elderly, there have been a handful of cases where children were involved. It seems no one can be certain where these “angels” may strike again. I guess it’s safe to say, know your medical professionals before you put your life in their hands.
 
There are many more cases of these killings, and between 1070 and the present, they have increased exponentially. The good news is, after profiling and many captures of these serial killers, we can have hope that medical care is getting safer again.
 
Just remember, this is another extremely important thing you must research when switching medical professionals. Know your doctors well, and especially your nurses.
 
Be safe out there.
 
References:

 

Sherrie Hurd.


 





 

About the Author: Sherrie Hurd


Sherrie Hurd is a professional writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She is an advocate for mental health awareness and nutrition. Sherrie studied Psychology, Journalism, and Fine Arts, receiving an Associates in Marketing. She has written for Beacon, a southern college publication, and is an author of a full-length non-fiction novel. Sherrie spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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Archives:



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 



 

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publicado por achama às 17:03
Terça-feira, 07 / 05 / 19

5 Types of Thoughts about Death and How to Handle Them ~ Sherrie.

5 Types of Thoughts about Death and How to Handle Them.

By Sherrie.

May 6th, 2019


Have you ever pondered on thoughts about death? No, I don’t mean suicidal thoughts, I mean thoughts of this inevitable conclusion.
If you’re having thoughts about death, congratulations. You’re a normal human being. We all think about death from time to time, wondering what it will be like and wondering how painful the process will be. Yes, we think about this life’s conclusion in many ways.

A deeper look at death

But, let us look deeper at the causes of our tendency to think about death and ways to handle those uncomfortable thoughts.
There are thoughts which transcend the pain and finality of death, wouldn’t you think? Death is more than just the sad end and more than just the worst situation. There are a few ways we can look at these death meditations.

1. Death as afterlife

First off, many people see death as a doorway to the afterlife, whatever that may be. Here, there will be no focus on any denominations or spiritualities, only the mention that some believe that death is not the end.
These thoughts about death can be both healthy and unhealthy, depending on how you see this transition. For example: even if you believe there is an afterlife, you should still spend time enjoying every moment to its fullest. You cannot take money or possessions with you, either way, afterlife or not.

2. Death as finality

These thoughts concerning death can be dark, harsh and yes, they can be unforgiving. Some believe that death is the end, and afterward, there is nothing. If you believe this way, it’s also normal and fine.
The important aspect of this belief is to understand if death means the complete and utter end, then it’s most important to enjoy, travel, love, and fulfill everything your heart desires. After all, this is the only chance you will get.

3. Appreciating mortality

We soon start to appreciate our mortality, when pondering on death, For some, immortality is the dream, but for others, the fragile mortality is so much more beautiful.
Take, for instance, the flower, it will not live forever, but isn’t it beautiful? Our lives are much like lovely flowers, we bloom and greet the world and then we leave as nature intended.
This mortality is natural and reminds us that we are part of everything which surrounds us. This is also a popular thought about death.

4. Wishing for immortality

Unfortunately, wishing for immortality is not healthy, unless you’re a scientist working on some ground-breaking technology to further the studies on telomeres (thought to be the answer to immortality, by the way).
Otherwise, death is coming, and dwelling on immortality, in my opinion, is just a waste of time. Remember, time is running out. For those obsessed with immortality, thoughts concerning death might liberate a few misconceptions about our role in this world. Just a thought…

5. Obsessive thoughts

Having obsessive thoughts about death borders suicidal intentions, but I’m not going in that direction. There is this place between suicidal thoughts and just obsessing over death which brings us down but keeps us living out of fear.
That’s just what it is, honestly, it’s the fear of death, which has turned into an absolute obsession. Being afraid of death, but not focused on immortality can leave us in a perpetually dismal place.

How can we deal with death thoughts like these?

In order to deal effectively with thoughts on death, we must understand how each of the categories above affects our lives.
Do we think about the afterlife? Do we dwell on immortality on earth? Dealing with death in a healthy manner will depend on how we think, basically. So, I will try my hardest to break it down for you.

1. A healthy perspective of the afterlife

If you think about death as the afterlife, then you’re probably a spiritual person of some sort. Whether you believe in God or many Gods, you will see death as an elevation, a promotion, or a different state of being.
While some may see this belief as egotistical or delusional, spiritualists and believers find peace with this idea of death. Overall, It’s healthy as long as it doesn’t become fanatical to the point of imposing on the beliefs of others.

2. No beliefs, no problem

There are many people who believe death is just the end. They believe in darkness, finality, and the great big….well, nothing. These non-believers seem pretty happy for the most part, because they have come to terms with how they believe, or don’t’ believe, however you look at it.
So, unless they are falling into depression, they may be completely content to do everything they can before the end arrives. It’s just that simple, and it’s okay too.

3. Is appreciating mortality healthy?

Whether we believe in the great beyond or not, we can still appreciate the here and now. Many people, coming from all walks of life, have learned to love their mortality.
Sometimes thoughts of death can get overwhelming, even in this appreciation and this is when help is needed. When these thoughts become intrusive, it’s best to get support from others who have learned to appreciate the finality of their being.
Many times, they can explain the importance of the cycle of life, and how we are all a part of a larger picture. This helps us understand that pleasure and suffering are part of the whole deal.

4. Immortality, good or bad

While there are studies being conducted on immortality, it can be quite unhealthy to put all your eggs in this basket. Why? Because as of now, we’re still dying, and we’re still dying at around the same age as we were a few decades ago.
So obsessing over immortality is not really a healthy move. It’s better to see immortality as something hoped for. Just remember, some of us would rather live and die, instead of hanging around forever. So, to each his own.

5. Keep a check on obsessive thoughts

Death thoughts that become obsessive can also become dangerous. Sitting around with friends and pondering on the death process – the pain, the decomposition of death – is just not healthy at all.
I’ve seen this through those obsessed with speaking to the dead and sleeping in the cemetery wondering about how it feels to be underneath the earth. You see, even what I am saying is probably taking you to an uncomfortable place. This is my point.
These thoughts grow and can potentially cause serious depression. All I am saying is just be careful not to fall too far into the pit of darkness.

What are your thoughts on death?

Yes, there are many unhealthy ways to look at death, but yet, there are also healthy outlooksas well. Thoughts pertaining to death can be scary and overwhelming, but they don’t have to be taboo. Please share your opinion and let’s talk.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://www.huffpost.com

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 17:03
A Luz está a revelar a Verdade, e esta libertar-nos-á! -Só é real o AMOR Incondicional. -Quando o Amor superar o amor pelo poder, o mundo conhecerá a Paz; Jimi Hendrix. -Somos almas a ter uma experiência humana!

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