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Segunda-feira, 18 / 05 / 20

‘Is My Child a Psychopath?’

‘Is My Child a Psychopath?’ 

5 Signs to Watch Out For

Janey Davies, B.A. (Hons)

https://www.learning-mind.com

May 18th, 2020.

is my child a psychopath
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Are you worried about your child? Have you noticed a disturbing mean streak in them? Are they not fazed by punishment? Have you ever been so frightened of your child’s behaviour that you start to ask yourself, ‘Is my child a psychopath?’

‘Is My Child a Psychopath?’ – How to Recognize the Signs

Adult psychopaths fascinate us, but they must have come from somewhere. So, would you be able to recognise psychopathic traits in your child?
Historically, studies into child psychopathy have been carried out retrospectively. In other words, we take the adult psychopath and look into his or her childhood. Adult psychopaths can share several traits common in childhood. The MacDonald Triad suggested three such significant traits:
  1. Bed-wetting
  2. Cruelty to animals
  3. Fire-setting
However, subsequent research has criticised the MacDonald Triad. Instead, studies have shown that traits such as ‘callous disregard’ are more common in children who go onto exhibit psychopathy as adults.
“I remember when I bit my mom really hard, and she was bleeding and crying. I remember feeling so happy, so overjoyed—completely fulfilled and satisfied.” Carl*

Adult Psychopathic Traits vs Child Psychopathy

Speaking of adults, adult psychopathic traits are well-documented. We know that psychopaths tend to exhibit certain behaviours.

Adult Psychopathic Traits

The Mayo Clinic defines psychopathy as:
“A mental condition in which a person consistently shows no regard for right and wrong and ignores the rights and feelings of others.”
Psychopaths make up about 1% of the population. Around 75% are male and 25% female.
Psychopaths share many characteristics. In fact, the Hare Checklist is a specific list of psychopathic traits. The most common adult psychopathic traits are:
  • Lying and manipulation
  • Lack of morals
  • No empathy
  • Superficial charm
  • Narcissism
  • Superiority complex
  • Gaslighting
  • Lack of conscience
So do children share these same traits as their adult counterparts?
“I wanted the whole world to myself. So I made a whole entire book about how to hurt people. I want to kill all of you.” Samantha*

Child Psychopathy

Well, society does not label children as psychopaths. Instead, children with ‘dark traits’ are described as ‘callous and unemotional’. Experts use this callous-unemotional behaviour (CU behaviour) to form a diagnosis.

Examples of Callous Unemotional Behaviour in Children:

Studies into antisocial behaviour in children have captured several common traits in children as young as 2 years old:
  1. A lack of guilt after misbehaving
  2. No difference in behaviour after punishment
  3. Constant lying
  4. Sneaky behaviour designed to mislead you
  5. Selfish and aggressive behaviour when they don’t get what they want
Further research has led to the Youth Psychopathic Traits Inventory (YPI), which is similar to the Hare Checklist. Adolescents answer a series of questions which are then scored to measure the following personality traits:
  • Sense of grandiosity
  • Lying
  • Manipulation
  • Callous nature
  • No remorse
  • Insincere charm
  • Unemotionality
  • Thrill-seeking
  • Impulsiveness
  • Irresponsible nature
Children and adolescents that exhibit many of the above CU traits are more likely to commit anti-social behaviour as young adults and end up in prison.
“Don’t let me hurt you, Mom.” Kevin*

Is a Child Psychopath a Product of Nature or Nurture?

There are some experts that believe child psychopaths are born this way. However, others think it is more likely to be a mixture of genes and environment.
Philosopher John Locke first suggested that children are ‘blank slates‘, filled with experiences from their parents and interactions with their environment. But children are more than that. They come with their own readymade personality. This core personality then interacts with family, friends, and society. The environment shapes this core personality into the adults we become.
So what can cause a child to become a psychopath?

What Are the Causes of Child Psychopathy?

Early childhood abuse

One of the strongest indications of child psychopathy is early abuse in childhood. In fact, neglected, abused, or children that grew up in dysfunctional environments are more likely to show psychopathic tendencies later on.

Attachment issues

Separation from a parent or primary caregiver can have devastating effects on a child. We know that it is essential to form an attachment with our parents. However, the parent in question could suffer from addiction or mental health problems.
In fact, studies show that young female psychopaths are likely to have come from dysfunctional home lives.

Victimisation

On the other hand, young male psychopaths are more likely to have been victimised at an early age. The perpetrator carrying out the victimisation can be a parent or the child’s peers. This reasoning confirms what we already know, in that victims of bullying will often become bullies themselves.

Different brain structure

Other studies propose that children who show CU behaviours have differences in their brain structure. This supports the theory that suggests adult psychopaths have different brains to the rest of us.
Children with CU traits have less grey matter in the limbic system. This system is responsible for processing emotions. They also have an underactive amygdala. Someone with an undersized amygdala has problems recognising emotions in others. Therefore, they lack empathy.
“Kill John and Mommy with them (knives). And Daddy.” Beth*

5 Signs Your Child Is a Psychopath

So we can understand some of the causes behind child psychopathy. But if you ask yourself, ‘Is my child a psychopath?’, what signs should you be looking out for?

1. Superficial charm

These children can appear charming but they are mimicking what they’ve seen other people do. The only reason they appear to be charming is to get what they want.
One way you can identify superficial charm in children is to watch their reactions when someone else is upset or distressed. In normal circumstances, seeing someone upset will be in itself upsetting to a child. They will try and comfort whoever is upset. If your child is a psychopath, they won’t care and it certainly won’t upset them.

2. Lack of guilt or remorse

Children with CU behaviour use their charm to manipulate others. If they want something, they will do anything in their power to get it. If this happens to hurt another person in the process, so be it. They don’t understand that their actions have consequences. All they know is that the world is there for them. Therefore, they can do whatever they want.
So look out for selfishness in your child, one that is not prepared to share with others and one that acts aggressively if their needs are not met.

3. Prone to aggressive outbursts

Most parents are used to toddler tantrums, but the aggressive outbursts from child psychopaths are much more than tantrums. If you feel frightened of your own child’s capabilities, it’s a sign of psychopathy.
One other thing to point out is that these outbursts will come from nowhere. For instance, one minute, everything is fine, the next, your child is threatening you with a knife if you don’t get them a new puppy. The outburst is a massive overreaction to the situation.

4. Immune to punishment

Brain scans have shown that reward systems in callous children are overactive, but they are unable to recognise the usual signs of punishment. This leads them to focus doggedly on their own pleasure without being able to stop, even if it means hurting someone. Moreover, they know that if they get caught, they’ll be reprimanded.
We usually temper our behaviour to match the consequences of our actions. If your child is a psychopath, they know the consequences – they just don’t care.

5. No empathy for others

Does your child seem flat behind the eyes? Do you look at them and wonder if they are capable of loving you? It’s not that they don’t know what love is, they just don’t experience it.
Child experts believe that inactivity in the amygdala is to blame. More interestingly, we know that babies, when given the choice, would rather look at human faces than something like a red ball. Studies reveal that children who exhibit CU behaviour prefer the red ball to a face.
“I choked my little brother.” Samantha*

Can a Child Psychopath Be Cured?

So can child psychopaths ever be cured? Probably not. But their behaviour can be modified.
Research has shown that children with CU behaviour do not respond to punishment. However, because their reward centre in the brain is overactive, they do respond to incentives. This is cognitive morality. So while the child may never recognise emotions or understand empathy, they do have a system that rewards them for good behaviour.

Final Thoughts

Nature or nurture, brain abnormalities, or neglect in childhood. Whatever the reason, seeing callous disregard in children is particularly horrifying. But it doesn’t have to mean a life sentence. So if you suspect that your child is a psychopath, you should know that with proper therapy, even the coldest of children can live a relatively normal life.
References:
  1. www.psychologytoday.com
  2. www.theatlantic.com
  3. www.telegraph.co.uk
  4. nypost.com
*Names changed.
 
Janey Davies
 

 
 
About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 




Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

 
All articles are of the respective authors or publishers responsibility. 
 


 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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publicado por achama às 12:01
Sexta-feira, 08 / 05 / 20

9 Signs of Needy People and How They Manipulate You

9 Signs of Needy People and How They Manipulate You

By Anna LeMind, B.A.

May 7th, 2020

.

 
We all have encountered overly clingy and needy people in our lives.
Some may have been in a relationship with a too dependent partner, others could have had a friend who asked for one favor after another. While it’s totally human to feel emotionally attached to those around you as well as to ask for their help from time to time, these personalities take it to another level.
Needy people often come to the point of becoming toxic manipulators. More often than not, they are unaware of what they are doing though. Clingy individuals tend to have insecurities and lack mental toughness, so they just can’t help themselves. They need other people to make them happy and complete.
Still, dealing with a needy person can be challenging for your own mental health. So, it’s important to recognize the signs of when your needy friend or family member is taking advantage of you and is becoming a toxic influence.

9 Signs of Manipulative Needy People

1. They have a victim mentality

Being a needy person and having a victim mentality are often synonyms. These people just can’t take responsibility for their actions and failures. They always blame someone else for everything.
If they made a mistake in a report, it’s because their loud coworker distracted them from work. If they didn’t keep your intimate secret, it is because they encountered a devious manipulator who tricked them into sharing it.
In the end, it’s never a needy person’s fault. And they don’t just stop here – they go on to make you feel sorry for them as well.

2. They guilt-trip you

If we take the example with the secret, your needy friend will probably say how devastated they are by that manipulator. And that you shouldn’t have confided in them in the first place. Now their whole life is completely ruined because of the secret you shared with them! It may sound crazy, but eventually, you will actually feel sorry for your friend and guilty for calling them out for revealing your secret!
Being needy doesn’t equal being a manipulator, but sometimes, this trait comes with a natural talent in inducing unjustified guilt in others. You see, making people feel guilty is a great way to take advantage of them.
When your friend is convinced that whatever you are going through is their fault, they are more likely to give you what you want or to turn a blind eye to something wrong you have done.

3. They take advantage of you

Needy people are usually takers and rarely givers. If you are there for them when they need you, it doesn’t mean that they will do the same for you.
All relationships should have reciprocity in them. And I’m not talking just about helping each other. Emotional investment is an essential component of any relationship, whether it’s a romantic, a family, or a friendly one. When you are the only person in a relationship who is concerned, genuinely interested, and willing to help, it means that the other person is taking advantage of you.
Does your needy family member ever call you just to see how you are doing? Is your friend really paying attention when you are telling him about your problems? Do they ever invite you to their place for dinner or do they only enjoy your hospitality? Are they there for you when you are in trouble?
If a needy person in your life shows up only when they need something from you, I’m sorry to tell you this, but you are being taken advantage of.

4. They are constantly in trouble

In the beginning, needy people may seem just unlucky. Whatever venture they take on, it’s doomed to fail. It may look like they are cursed and the whole world is conspiring against them! They get fired from work, their businesses collapse one after another, they get involved with the wrong people all the time.
When a needy person talks about their failures, they, of course, blame someone else or things like bad luck or the wrong circumstances. We have already talked about their victim mentality above, remember?
As a result of this endless chain of disasters, they end up asking for your help. And yes, they have no one else to turn to. Only you and your help can save them.

5. They are in a constant need for approval and reassurance

A needy personality often stems from insecurities and low self-esteem. For this reason, they need constant reassurance from other people. They may become quite manipulative in trying to get your approval.
They love doing what’s called fishing for compliments. It’s when a person purposely says self-critical things to hear that they are being wrong about themselves. This is what needy people often seek – your reassurance. They literally feed off it because deep inside, they feel bad about themselves.

6. They compete in misery

This toxic behavior is a consequence of a victim mentality. Needy people seem to compete with others in misery, so whatever problem you are facing, be sure that they always have a worse one.
Say that you are confiding a problem in your marriage to your friend. He looks like he is listening to you, but as soon as you stop talking, he tells you about his past heartbreak, which was much more tragic than the issue you have with your wife.
As a result, you receive no empathy or advice from your friend and end up listening to his heartbreaking story and comforting him instead.

7. They exaggerate their problems and belittle those of other people

Similarly, a needy person may become passive-aggressive and throw out belittling remarks about other people’s difficulties. All this serves one purpose – to earn all the attention and empathy for themselves.
They may get sarcastic and say unkind things like ‘I wish I had his problems’ when someone else is struggling. All this comes down to a lack of empathy and emotional intelligence needy people often have. They really believe that they are the only person who is struggling and everyone else’s problems are a joke.

8. They can’t deal with their issues on their own

friend asking for favors
Self-sufficiency is not among the traits of needy people. Sometimes, it can seem that they are just unable to solve a problem on their own. For example, if they are facing financial difficulties, they won’t think about getting a better job or earning some extra income but will immediately go to the solution of borrowing money from a friend or a family member.
For this reason, you will often find needy people asking for all kinds of favors, from requiring your assistance in the most trivial issues to helping them make a life-changing decision. Yes, it’s fine to expect support from the people around you. After all, this is what true friends do, right? But it’s not fine when you don’t even try to figure out a solution by yourself and rush to your friend for help.

9. They believe that you owe them

Needy people often believe that the world and those around them owe them something. This makes them convinced that they have the right to require help from their family members or friends.
Let’s take an example of needy behavior in a family relationship. Aaron’s parents got a divorce when he was 12 years old. While he stayed in contact with his father, he never received any substantial financial help from him. Still, he grew up into a self-sufficient adult and is now successfully running his own business while his father is switching from one venture to another and is on the edge of financial disaster.
At some point, Aaron’s father is asking him for a loan so he can pay off his debt and start a new business. Aaron refuses, and his father gets furious. He blames his son for being ungrateful and not appreciating what he has done for him all these years. For example, Aaron has forgotten how his father was driving him to school or how he took him to a few road trips when he was a kid.
As you see in this example, Aaron’s father is convinced that his son owes him, so he didn’t expect that he would refuse to help him.

Are Needy People Bad People?

In the end, needy people don’t mean to become toxic and behave in a manipulative way. These people often have issues with emotional attachment and self-esteem, so their clingy nature is due to their mental makeup.
Thus, if you have a needy person in your life, treat them with kindness but don’t allow them to exploit it. Establishing healthy personal boundaries is a key approach to dealing with them.
 

Anna LeMind
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About the Author: Anna LeMind

Anna is the founder and lead editor of the website Learning-mind.com. She is passionate about learning new things and reflecting on thought-provoking ideas. She writes about science, psychology and other related topics. She is particularly interested in topics regarding introversion, consciousness and subconscious, perception, human mind's potential, as well as the nature of reality and the universe.
 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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Discernment is recommended.
 
 
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 



 

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publicado por achama às 00:50
Sexta-feira, 01 / 05 / 20

6 Types of Toxic People Who Become Involuntary Manipulators

6 Types of Toxic People Who Become Involuntary Manipulators

By Anna LeMind, B.A.

April 30th, 2020

passive aggression.

 
Passive aggression is a favorite tactic for negative, secretly jealous, and insecure personalities. So almost all of the above types of toxic people can use it, especially the approval seekers and the enviers.
They lack the emotional toughness to speak their mind openly and face conflict. Thus, they throw out sneaky comments and wistful statements that make you feel bad and bring them temporary emotional satisfaction.

An example situation:

Your friend Bob tells you about his financial difficulties. He has lost his job and doesn’t know how to pay his bills the next month. You are comforting him and give him advice. At some point, the conversation turns to you and you tell Bob about the detention your unruly son received at school. Bob has an absent expression on his face and says, “I wish I had your problems”.
The result? You are feeling guilty for worrying about such trivial issues while your friend is going through a really difficult time in life. In reality, though, Bob didn’t mean to cause you discomfort or guilt. He is just overly self-absorbed right now because of the hardships he is facing, so anyone else’s problems look like a joke to him.

2. Guilt trips

The needers often use guilt trips to get what they want. In fact, needy people are natural manipulators and may not even know how toxic they can become. Since they are used to relying on others and hanging their happiness on people and external circumstances, they are intrinsically skillful in evoking guilt in those around them.

An example situation:

Ian proposes to Melissa while they’ve been in a relationship for just three months. She is not ready yet and not sure whether Ian is the one, so she takes some time to think it over. One day, Ian tells Melissa about his past heartbreaking relationship and throws out a comment like, “That breakup was a real disaster. It was a struggle to get over it. If our relationship doesn’t work out either, I’m not sure if I can handle it”. As a result, Melissa feels sorry for him and accepts his proposal.
This may sound deviously manipulative at first, but Ian is not a bad person. He is just prone to black-and-white thinking and gets too enthusiastic about people. He also has an intense fear of loneliness and gets emotionally attached to women too easily. So he meant every single word of what he said to Melissa.

3. Playing the victim

Some people genuinely believe that they never did anything wrong and all their failures are due to the outside circumstances. They may blame the unkind people who took advantage of them or the unfair society that ruined their chances to succeed. Maybe they were born in the wrong time or had a too underprivileged family background to achieve anything significant in life. They may even go on to believe that all their misery stems from a generational curse or God’s will.
The core reason for this toxic attitude is that people with a victim mentality are afraid of responsibility. There is always someone or something else to blame for all the adversities life throws their way. So, they have a natural talent for playing the victim and distorting every situation accordingly.
They don’t do it because they are evil manipulators, however. In reality, they are simply too mentally weak to accept their faults and deal with their responsibilities. Many types of toxic people use the manipulation tactic of playing the victim. In our list, the misunderstood genius, the needer, and the complainer will do it more often than others.

An example situation:

Elliot’s business has failed, which totally ruined his motivation. He now stays at home, watching TV all day long and doing nothing. His wife Ashley has a good job and is the only person who is supporting the family now. After a few months, Elliot still doesn’t look for a new job or business idea.
Ashley is tired of supporting the family on her own and at some point, she insistently asks her husband to get a job. Elliot says, “How can you be so heartless? Don’t you see that I’m depressed? These people took from me everything I had worked for so hard and you are suggesting I should just forget about it and work for someone else now?”
Elliot is clearly playing the victim to avoid responsibility and make Ashley feel sorry for him. Still, this is unintended because he is convinced that it’s not his fault that his business failed. Also, he thinks that he is too gifted for a regular 9-5 job, so even suggesting him to get one causes annoyance.

4. Criticism

criticism
Negative and controlling types of people are sometimes so critical of everyone and everything that they become truly toxic. It’s not easy to be around a person who always has to say something critical, unkind, or disproving. Thus, critical people become involuntary manipulators because they make those around them feel worthless and often start conflict out of nothing. Sometimes they do it to feel better about themselves or because they really believe that they are always right.

An example situation:

Jane just got a promotion at work and shares the exciting news with her elderly mother, who happens to be an overly critical person. She gives her daughter an indifferent look and says, “Good for you. Too bad that you still haven’t started a family at this age that you are though. Your younger sister has two children already, and you are still single”.
With this kind of remark, Jane’s mother makes her feel inadequate despite her career achievement. She downplays her daughter’s success and shifts focus to her relationship failures, which is a sensitive topic for her. As a result, Jane starts to doubt herself and feels miserable. She forgets about the promotion and begins to think that her life is a failure.

5. They become parasitic

Some types of toxic people become emotionally or financially parasitic to those around them. Parasitic individuals make their partners, friends, or family members feel responsible for their life. This manipulation tactic can be a combination of guilt-tripping and a victim mentality and is often used by needy people as well as the misunderstood geniuses.

An example situation:

Two adult siblings live entirely different lives. The younger brother Tom has become a successful lawyer while the older brother Jack fails one business after another. Jack has already borrowed a great deal of money from his brother and never paid him back. He is now asking him for a new loan.
Tom has had enough of supporting Jack and denies it to him. Jack says that in this case, the bank will take his house and he will have nowhere to live. Moreover, he feels heartbroken and betrayed by his brother. He accuses Tom of being ungrateful for all the good things he did to him. Jack even goes on to remind him how he babysat him and helped him with homework when they were children.
The situation now looks like Jack is a victim and Tom is a villain. This makes the younger brother feel guilty and ironically, responsible for his older brother’s life. As a result, once again, he decides to give Jack the money he is asking for.
As you can see in this example, Jack is inducing unjustified guilt in Tom. In reality, he is just exploiting his brother as it’s much easier to borrow money from a wealthy family member than to find a job to pay off your debt. But Jack is doing this unconsciously. He may genuinely believe that he has done too much for his brother, so Tom owes him.

The Involuntary Manipulators Are Those Types of Toxic People Who Don’t Mean to Do Harm

In the end, the individuals we discussed above have no ill intent. These unconscious manipulators are usually pretty good folks at their core but just lack mental strength, which makes them use unhealthy coping mechanisms.
So the bottom line here is that these types of toxic people tend to be deeply unhappy and discontented with themselves, hence their manipulative tendencies.
This means that they are more likely to change and stop their toxic behavior than devious manipulators like psychopaths or narcissists, who have the power to make you question your sanity. Establishing firm personal boundaries is often enough to stop their toxic influence.
Does any type of these toxic people sound like someone in your life? Please feel free to share your experiences with us.
 

Anna LeMind
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About the Author: Anna LeMind

Anna is the founder and lead editor of the website Learning-mind.com. She is passionate about learning new things and reflecting on thought-provoking ideas. She writes about science, psychology and other related topics. She is particularly interested in topics regarding introversion, consciousness and subconscious, perception, human mind's potential, as well as the nature of reality and the universe.
 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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Alternative to Google
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Alternative to YouTube
BitChute.com
brighteon.com
 
 

 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.
 
 
Discernment is recommended.
 
 
All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 



 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 02:11
Quarta-feira, 29 / 04 / 20

What Triggers Narcissistic Injury and How to Recognize It?

 

What Triggers Narcissistic Injury and How to Recognize It?

Sherrie Hurd, A.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted April 28th, 2020.

 
 
 
Narcissistic injury happens when the narcissist has been confronted, challenged, or denied something. In a situation like this, they feel like their whole façade comes apart. The narcissistic wound is real, and yet, it comes from a place of make-believe hurts. How can we tolerate this sort of behavior?
To understand narcissistic injury, you have to know a little bit about the narcissist themselves. A person who has been “diagnosed” per se, as a narcissistic individual will have layers of characteristics.
First of all, most narcissists were first traumatized or abused children. This mistreatment, in time, caused them to build high walls to keep others out. It made their self-esteem plummet as well. As a result of all this, the narcissist built a façade of who they really are, and when confronted or challenged, they acquire the narcissistic wound.

What triggers the narcissistic injury?

There are a few ways that this injury can be triggered by others. Just as I said above, being challenged or confronted would do the trick. But let’s look at a few of these things in order to get the big picture.
  • Breaking the mask

The narcissist has a false idea of who they are. Some of them actually believe in this false identity, while others use the identity to trick others. Injuries occur when someone rips the mask off revealing the true identity of the narcissist. This triggers anger, resentment, and manipulation.
You see, when you lived the majority of your life with a low-self-esteem, creating a different, more positive identity is ideal. When that identity is destroyed, you’re right back where you began. It’s actually painful for the narcissist.
  • Pointing out mistakes

There is no narcissist in this world that likes their failures being noticed. Injuries are triggered quickly when the narcissist fails at something or is wrong about something, and a friend notices. Maybe if they fail at something while alone, it’s not so bad, but for someone to see what happened, this can be devastating.
  • Revealing the lack of confidence

Narcissists cannot handle someone else revealing their lack of confidence. The truth is, the root of narcissistic behavior lies in low self-confidence, as it comes from past trauma or abusive childhood. The narcissist walks and talks with an air of confidence, and yet, it is all false. When it’s revealed for what it is, a narcissistic injury happens.

How do we recognize the narcissistic injury?

Touching once more on the adult/child relationship as to abuse, we can learn how to recognize the narcissistic injuries that surface. If a parent was narcissistic, then it’s likely that some of those traits will try to stick to the child, especially mental injuries. So, how can we tell if this is happening?

1. They reject others

If the narcissist’s friends and family know what they’ve been through, people usually want to help. But this help will also come with revealing their mistakes and helping them work through the problems. They don’t want others to see the imperfections, and so friends and family cannot help. Loved ones may even get a bit harsh with the narcissist, and say that they are challenging them to do better. This will make them push friends and family even further away.
You see, narcissists feel as though they should be loved and accepted at all times. This can get especially negative on social media. If someone with a narcissistic wound is challenged online, they will go to extremes in arguments and comments, so much that they may even delete or block people from their personal spaces – these can even be their loved ones.

2. They have impossible expectations

Even if everyone is talking about how talented they are, it’s never enough. Narcissists have to always be in the spotlight, always getting attention, and when it comes to the online world, always posting things about themselves or what they’ve accomplished. One nice compliment is never enough for them. This is because secretly, narcissists always feel like a failure.

3. Sometimes they’re overachievers

On the flip side, sometimes the narcissist just wants to help too much. In order to fill that void inside, and yes, there’s a deep dark void inside every narcissist, they must constantly be doing things for people, or giving out endless compliments – they are usually empty compliments which this toxic person doesn’t really mean.
I know this sounds cruel, but it’s true. The narcissistic injury shows through the many layers of the good Samaritan sometimes. If they can hold up that camera while helping, they can be an overachiever and live those impossible expectations all at once. Giving and getting at an abnormal and toxic level.

4. You don’t want to say no

Inside, the narcissist always wants to say no, but on the outside, they never want to say no. Does that make sense? Well, it’s how the narcissist works. A narcissist focuses on themselves first, even though they help tremendously, never want to speak the word “no” and always seem so humble. All of this is false.
They don’t want to speak “no” because they are afraid of the consequences. That is all. No narcissist wants to be injured by rejection because they didn’t go along with someone else’s wishes. So, they try to bridge that gap somehow. It’s usually a messy routine.

Narcissistic injuries are real

If you live with a narcissist, you will eventually experience those strange injuries. When you do, take some time before you get into an argument with them. Think about why the narcissist may feel injured and work around this issue accordingly.
Although most narcissists never change, some do. So, if you have the chance to show them the truth of their injuries in a peaceful manner, you could be able to help them heal. If not, it could be time to make some changes.
I wish you the best.
References:

  1. https://www.betterhelp.com
  2. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov



Sherrie Hurd

 

 

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Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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publicado por achama às 05:19
Segunda-feira, 09 / 03 / 20

...

Are Intelligent Women Less Likely to Fall for Psychopaths and Narcissists?

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

March 7th, 2020.

 
intelligent women.
 

 

 
Do you think you would ever fall for a psychopath or narcissist? Most intelligent women think they wouldn’t. But skilled manipulators target all kinds of people. So can your smarts outwit a predator? Let’s find out.
 
How Likely Is It for Intelligent Women to Fall for Psychopaths and Narcissists?
 
We all like to think that we are intelligent enough to see behind the mask of a psychopath, but are we? Before we talk about intelligence, let us examine the characteristics of psychopaths and narcissists.
 
Psychopath traits
 
Psychopaths are charming, intelligent, and tend to be well-liked in society. They may have powerful jobs and earn a higher wage. They are also glib and have the gift of the gab. I mean, what’s not to like?
 
Narcissist traits
 
On the other hand, narcissists have perfected the mask they hide behind. They present their best side to the world, they have an over-inflated view of themselves and will lie and cheat to maintain this façade.
 
So it’s clear that we are dealing with some pretty devious characters here. But shouldn’t self-respecting intelligent women be able to see through the lies and manipulation? Not necessarily.
 
Studies have shown the opposite to be true. In fact, women are attracted to psychopathic traits.
 
 
“Psychopathic men have a personality style that makes them appear attractive to women in dating encounters. This may be because they are extra confident or feel at ease or know exactly what to say to get the attention of women,” Kristopher Brazil, PhD candidate at Brock University.
 
In one study, an assistant engaged in a two-minute dating scenario conservation with males. She asked the men what they liked to do on a first date and recorded their responses. After the questions, the males completed assessments of psychopathy, socio-sexuality and social intelligence.
 
These videos were then played to 108 young women who were asked to rate the attractiveness of the men. The study found women rated men with psychopathic tendencies highly. In other words, they found psychopaths more attractive.
 
So it seems we are predisposed to find psychopathy attractive, but can our intelligence help us to sort out the manipulators?
Why intelligent women can’t help falling for psychopaths and narcissists
 
We judge people by our own standards
 
Psychopaths use their charm and intelligence to get what they want. They have no conscience so will use any means necessary at their disposal. Now, the problem with this is that most people are not psychopaths. However, we assume that everyone acts the way we do.
 
We believe we all share the same moral compass, the same values and are decent at heart. We cannot imagine how people can act in a despicable way. If it’s not in our nature, surely it can’t be in anyone else’s.
 
But of course, this is not the case. Just because we wouldn’t cheat or lie or gaslight someone, it doesn’t mean that others won’t.
 
We all believe we have empathy for other people, but some are born without empathy. They have no regard for other people’s feelings. They have no conscience.
 
The other problem is that not every psychopath is like Hannibal Lecter. Some psychopaths only tick a few points on the Hare’s Psychopath Checklist. In fact, studies show that psychopaths will use their charm and deceit in the short-term in order to snare their victims. But they can’t keep this pretence up long-term. Why? Because their selfish needs are their ultimate goals.
 
In other words, they’ll only schmooze you until they’ve got what they want.
 
Psychopaths are excellent manipulators
 
The other problem is that psychopaths and narcissists are born manipulators. They have this innate talent to charm, deceive and play the ordinary person. They’ve spent years, decades even, perfecting their craft. So they know exactly what to say to turn you on, to hold your interest, to keep the spotlight on them.
 
“Psychopathic men are really good at pretending to display what women are attracted to. They’re really good at putting on this mask, and making themselves look attractive . . . You exude a larger-than-life presence, and give off an impression of greatness.” Kristopher Brazil
 
Psychopaths will make you feel like the most special person in the room. They’ll flatter and charm you, and you’ll feel like the luckiest girl in the world. But of course, they only do it to get what they want.
 
These types of manipulators are always confident. They are at ease with themselves, and intelligent women find confident men extremely attractive.
 
Psychopaths also have a box of tricks up their sleeves when it comes to manipulating someone. They pull you into their circle by telling you false secrets about someone. They draw you in by revealing a confidence they shouldn’t have.
 
They will often do small favours and then ask for a larger one in return. This elicits trust and a desire to reciprocate the help.
We care about our loved ones
 
One way psychopaths and narcissists are able to fool intelligent women is because they are incapable of the most basic human emotions. In fact, studies have shown that they only mimic emotions to blend in or deceive people around them.
 
“Functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) research indicates that psychopaths are incapable of experiencing basic human emotions and feelings of guilt, remorse, or empathy.” Corporate Psychopath expert Paul Babiak and Forensic Behavioral Consultant Mary Ellen O’Toole
 
In relationships or the work environment, having no emotions can have a huge benefit, especially if you want to gain an advantage over someone. On the other hand, if you are an emotional person and care deeply about your partner or colleagues, you might agonise over decisions you have to make.
 
Overly emotional people can feel guilty about breaking up with a partner. So much so that they put it off. Bosses may put up with shoddy work because they feel responsible for their staff.
 
Caring for other people can clearly be a disadvantage in certain circumstances. It can interfere with the way you do your job, or how you cope in a relationship.
 
How can intelligent women recognise a psychopath or narcissist?
 
I’m saying intelligent women are not less likely to fall for psychopaths or narcissists. In fact, it’s difficult for anyone to resist their charms. So how can you resist?
 
Do other people question this individual’s actions?
 
Sometimes we can be so under a person’s spell we can’t see the wood for the trees. Are you ignoring advice from close friends? Do family members raise concerns about this individual? If multiple people are worried, you should be too.
 
Does this individual pick on your vulnerabilities?
 
Psychopaths have a pathological need to damage their victims once they are drawn in. In fact, they are driven by their victim’s vulnerabilities. They can’t help themselves. If your new boyfriend has turned particularly nasty and was once charming, he might be a psychopath.
 
Does he play mind games with you?
 
Gaslighting and mind games are favourite manipulation tools for this individual. It’s how he gets his kicks. If you start questioning yourself, thinking that you are going mad, you could be a victim of a psychopath.
 
Final thoughts
 
It doesn’t matter how intelligent woman you are. If a psychopath or narcissist has you in their sights, it’s only a matter of time before you become their victim.
 
 
References:
 

 

Janey Davies

 





About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

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publicado por achama às 01:43
Domingo, 23 / 02 / 20

5 Signs of Blame Shifting and How to Deal with It.

 

5 Signs of Blame Shifting and How to Deal with It.

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted February 23rd, 2020.

 
 

 
 
One of the things I despise the most is someone who can never take responsibility for their actions. Blame shifting is their second nature.
 
I hate to admit that I’m way too familiar with blame-shifting. For years of my life, I thought everything was my fault, even when obviously it wasn’t – it was complete with evidence in my favor. Did that evidence ever make the blame shifter stop in their tracks?
 
Nope. That’s because a blame shifter is good at what they do, and they will do it as long as they can get away with it.
 
Blame shifting is insidious
 
The biggest issue with blame-shifting is that it can greatly damage a healthy person’s self-esteem. This heinous act will leave you questioning facts about your life and about your character as well. Shifting the blame onto someone else can be dangerous and completely destroy lives.
 
I know all this sounds like an exaggeration, but unfortunately, it’s not. Many otherwise mentally healthy individuals have been hurt so badly that they constantly question their self-worth. Do you know what we need to do? We need to see blame shifters before they get to us.
 
Recognizing the storm before it hits
 
1. The apology with strings attached
 
If by chance, you get the blame shifter to apologize at all, which hardly ever happens, they will use the “I’m sorry, but…” tactic. What I mean by this is that they will apologize, but they have to add some sort of defensive mechanism to the apology.
 
Whether they are about to put some of the blame on you or make an excuse for their behavior, you will recognize them by their inability to apologize without the added “but”, which totally eliminates the sincerity of the responsibility. What they are doing is finding a crack to slip out from under what they’ve done wrong.
 
2. Because of this, and because of that
 
Shifting the blame can be as easy as using cause and effect. While cause and effect do exist, responsibility is the main concern. Listen to this small interaction to understand:
 
Real victim: “You really hurt my feelings when you yelled at me.”
 
Blame shifter: “Well, if you would stop complaining about the same thing over and over, I wouldn’t.”
 
There are two ways that the blame shifter is really in the wrong. First of all, they shouldn’t be continuing behavior that makes someone else constantly complain. Most people complain when something bothers them, and they want to communicate.
 
Blame shifters don’t usually communicate, and so the problem gets ignored. After much complaining, they use verbal abuse as a scare tactic. There are many other situations like this where toxic people use the cause and effect technique to excuse any blame placed on themselves.
 
3. No communication
 
Blame shifting always comes with the inability to communicate. While these people can talk about problems on the surface level, when they are proven wrong, they clam up. They have no excuses or reasons for their behavior. They may even outright lie.
 
Then, ultimately, they will say there’s no reason to discuss the issue anymore. This is so damaging because it leaves the issues hanging and they’re never resolved. Then this causes bitterness to set in. Many marriages have failed due to the lack of healthy and honest communication. And most of the time, you will recognize the blame shifter by their communication aversion.
 
4. The pity party
 
You will also know you have yourself a blame shifter when they start telling you stories about their troubled childhood and how it makes them the way they are. While many people really did have a bad childhood, the toxic person will tell this story and exaggerate it to keep from taking the blame for present issues or mistakes.
 
It’s also okay to talk about past issues and how they’ve made you do things, but you cannot use this excuse for every mistake you make. If you cannot take the blame for doing something now, you will always be a child. Watch out for the pity party.
5. Flipping the script
 
This is an old term, but it fits so perfectly with a tactic that the blame shifter uses. When they’ve been caught red-handed, their first response is shock, their second response is to find the quickest way to turn the incident over onto you… using you as the villain.
 
Now, I know what you must be thinking, “How could someone caught in the act make the victim look bad?”
 
Well, they use carefully calculated manipulation. For example, let’s say you went to see your husband at work and he wasn’t there, and so, when he arrived home at the usual time, you asked him about it.
 
Now, some people will lie and say they had to leave for this or that reason, but if the blame shifter wants, he can turn the attention to you. He might say, “Why were you stalking my workplace?”, “What is wrong with you?”, oh, and my favorite, “You still don’t trust me, do you?” and then proceed to make an excuse for where he was, then stay mad for several days.
 
The blame for the whole confrontation is now your fault. You should have minded your own business and stayed at home.
 
How do we deal with these people?
 
Well, I hope you never have to endure such people because they have serious issues with themselves. Never ever believe that these things are your fault. Anyone who cannot take logical blame for their imperfections has a problem that can only be fixed by them or by professional help.
 
If you happen to be in a marriage with someone like this or stuck in a situation you cannot get out of at the moment, you will have to find various ways to living with this issue, and it’s a difficult one.
 
Honestly, it’s almost impossible to confront someone like this without being verbally abused or taking their blame on yourself. This will make you unhealthy, both mentally and physically over time.
 
Your best outcome would be if your loved one came to you for help and genuinely wanted to change. Believe it or not, some people eventually see what they’ve become. In this case, it’s worth sticking around. If there is no desire to change, then the choice is yours.
 
Just remember, none of this nonsense is about you, and sometimes it’s best to walk away than to get into arguments with toxic people because you will never win. If this applies to you, I hope everything works out for the best.

 

Sherrie Hurd



Image credit: Stephen Hawking is giving a lecture for NASA’s 50th anniversary/NASA

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

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publicado por achama às 22:27
Domingo, 02 / 02 / 20

Online Disinhibition Effect Explains Why Some People Become Jerks Online

Online Disinhibition Effect Explains Why Some People Become Jerks Online

Lottie Miles.

learning-mind.com

Posted February 1st, 2020.

 
Online Disinhibition Effect.

 

 
Trolling others is a common refrain for people online. Indeed, this behavior has become so common that it is now intensively studied by psychologists. Psychologists call this behavior the ‘online disinhibition effect’. But what is it that makes people behave this way? Who are internet trolls? Are some people more likely to act like jerks online or is it something intrinsic to the internet that makes this happen?
 
In this post, we will explore the answers to these questions by exploring 5 of the fundamental factors causing people to be jerks on the internet.
 
Understanding the online disinhibition effect
 
Dissociative Anonymity
 
One thing people quickly learn as they peruse the internet is that people you engage with cannot tell who you are. Whilst the technically savvy could probably detect them easily with some computer wizardry, most people only see what you choose to display. Dissociative anonymity (and the online disinhibition effect) stems from the feelings generated from this ability to become ‘anonymous’. These feelings result in people losing their inhibitions.
 
The disinhibiting effects of dissociative anonymity can help people to open up. They know what they say or do won’t be linked back to them in their daily lives after all. However, whilst online disinhibition can be benign, it can also be toxic.
 
Indeed, the history of trolling shows this. People can be encouraged to be more deviant, rude, and racist. In fact, online jerks will say all the socially inappropriate things they can think of due to the lack of consequences.
 
Being invisible
 
The effects of dissociative anonymity are accentuated by the sense of invisibility online. We’re all guilty of a bit of online creeping at times. Be it to check out a potential love interest, or seeing what friends have been up to. The sense of invisibility enables us to do this. This leads to people doing things and visiting places online that they wouldn’t dream of in the real world.
 
The effects of invisibility in reducing inhibitions have long been known in Psychology. Indeed, psychoanalysts commonly use this technique so patients cannot see their body language and facial expressions.
 
By doing this, patients feel less inhibited and freer to say what they feel. With online text communication online, this sense of invisibility is enhanced. This enables internet trolls to separate their harsh words from the receiver’s response.
 
Perceived majority positioning
 
When people see themselves as holding the majority position, they are more likely to express their true opinion. Conversely, if they fear their opinion is in the minority, they may fear being ostracised. This phenomenon is known as the spiral of silence theory developed in the 1960s and 1970s by Elisabeth-Noelle Neuman. The theory seeks to describe how public opinion is formed and how certain behaviors are acceptable in public or in different spaces.
 
This theory also explains why people may act differently on the internet to in public. For example, whilst in the office, they may not make sexist or racist comments due to the fear of social isolation as a result.
 
However, online they may feel these views are widespread and in the majority, making them more likely to express them. Combined with a sense of anonymity and invisibility, the perceived majority status can entrench the online disinhibition effect.
 
Personality traits
 
Clearly, the functionality of the internet explains why some people behave in a disrespectful way online. However, personality traits are also likely to be a key component. Indeed, one study entitled ‘Trolls just want to have fun’ found that online trolls are more likely to be horrible people in real life.
 
Specifically, they wanted to see whether trolls were linked with the darkest personality traits of narcissism, Machiavellianism, psychopathy, and sadism. They carried out a survey of 1,200 people. This survey found that people ranking trolling as their top pastime on the internet were more likely to score highly for dark personality traits. In particular, trolls were linked with traits associated with sadism in the real world.
 
Unfortunately, sadistic tendencies can actually be pretty common. Combined with the online disinhibition effect, the right personality traits can turn people into unparalleled online jerks.
 
A spiral of negativity
 
Although some studies show that the online disinhibition effect is linked to sadism others have shown that anyone can be a jerk online. For example, a study for Stanford and Cornell Universities found that trolling may be influenced by situational factors at least as much as the innate traits of people. This study found that the person’s mood and the tone of comments already on posts can lead to a spiral of negativity that causes trolling.
 
They tested this by giving a sample of 667 people an easy or difficult test. Participants were then asked to read the same article and comment underneath. However, underneath the article, people saw either neutral comments or troll-like comments. The study found that 68% of those given the harder test alongside the article with comments by trolls wrote troll-like comments themselves. Even for the easy test plus inoffensive comments group, this figure still stood at 35%.
 
So do some people become jerks online because of the internet or because they are jerks in real life? Well, the online disinhibition effect explains that psychological factors, personality traits, and the functionality of the internet are all to blame for this type of behavior.
 
 

Lottie Miles

 






 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 03:00
Terça-feira, 07 / 01 / 20

I Had an Emotionally Unavailable Mother and Here’s What It Felt Like

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

January 7th, 2020.

 
EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE MOTHER.
 

 
 
Want to know what it feels like to be raised by an emotionally unavailable mother? Let me tell you my story.
 
Whenever someone asks me about my mother, I say ‘She died when I was young’. When they reply that they are so sorry, I always say ‘It doesn’t matter, she was an evil cow and I didn’t love her anyway. Most people are shocked.
 
Are you? If you are – why? You didn’t know her. You didn’t know what she was like. What it was like growing up with her. And before you say ‘Well yes that’s all very well, but she was your mother’, so what? Tell me what law or unwritten rule stipulates that I have to love my mother? There is none.
 
You might think it is disrespectful to talk the way I do. But those among you who have experienced an emotionally unavailable mother will understand my point of view. And believe me when I tell you that I tried my very hardest to love her.
 
What Is an Emotionally Unavailable Mother?
 
‘Emotionally unavailable mother’ to me is just a fancy psychological way of saying cold-hearted and unfeeling. But what is the difference between a mother who struggles sometimes to show her love and one that is emotionally unavailable? I can only tell you my story and it may appear cold and matter-of-fact.
 
But what if your mother never cuddled you or told you she loved you? Or actually even spoke to you that much? What if your mother used you as a means to earn money and her own personal housekeeper? How would you feel if she was abusive to your siblings and cold towards you? Perhaps then you might understand a little of how I feel.
 
So let me tell you a few stories about dear old mum. Maybe you’ll get where I’m coming from. Or perhaps you’ll think I’m being a total snowflake and I should just get over myself and stop blaming her for everything.
 
What It Feels Like to Have an Emotionally Unavailable Mother
 
No loving touch
 
I remember being very little, probably around 4 or 5 and craving my mother’s touch. She never touched me ever. Not a hug, a cuddle, nothing.
 
But she did do one thing and that was to come into my and my sisters’ bedrooms after a night out drinking and check we were all in bed. If our bedsheets were tangled, she would straighten them out.
 
This was an opportunity for me to receive a touch from my mother as sometimes if my arm was hanging out of the bed, she would put it back under the sheets. Imagine being this starved of a mother’s touch that you engineer a scenario where she might come into contact with you? And at that young age?
 
No response
 
Again, when I was young, I could write so I guess I was around the age of 5-6, I would leave little notes to my mother. The notes would say things like ‘I love you so much mum’ and ‘You are the best mum in the world’.
 
I would leave these love notes to my mother on her pillow on her bed so she would see them before she went to sleep. She never mentioned them. I would excitably go to bed and look under my pillow to see what she had left for me. After a few weeks, I stopped writing them.
 
Ignored wishes
 
I passed my 12+ which meant I could go to a local grammar school. There were two choices; an all-girls one which had a very posh reputation (not me at all, we lived on a council estate) or a local mixed grammar where all my friends were going.
 
Mother decided I was to attend the all-girls school. Despite my protests, she told me ‘It would look better on my CV later’ when I applied for jobs. Ironically, I wasn’t allowed to carry on and study for A-Levels. I had to work at the factory job she had found for me when I was 16 to help pay the household bills.
 
Can’t confide with your mother
 
I had a very bad time at grammar school. I didn’t know anyone. There were cliques of girls who had known one another from middle school and were quite happy to stay in their own little groups.
 
It got so bad that I ran away twice and went home. Each time my mother took me back to the school, no questions asked. The school did try to help but as far as mother was concerned I was to ‘get on with it’. I contemplated ending it all but got through it.
 
Some years later, mother and I were arguing and she had said she’d always done her best for me. I shouted back that because she’d sent me to that school I’d tried to top myself. I ran upstairs to my bedroom. She followed and for the first time in my life, she put her arm around me. It felt so odd and strange I felt physically sick and had to move away.
 
The Impact of Having a Mother Who Was Emotionally Unavailable
 
So that’s a little of my pity party story. There’s much more but a lot involves other people and that is their story to tell. So how am I affected and what do I do about it?
 
Well, I never wanted children. I don’t have a maternal bone in me. I am shown pictures of babies and I don’t get it. I don’t feel this flush of warmth or emotion. But show me a puppy or an animal in pain or distress and I am weeping like a baby. I think I feel emotionally attached to animals more because they have no voice. They can’t tell you what is wrong. I felt the same way during childhood.
 
I have a cold heart. I always say I have a heart of stone. Nothing touches it. I’ve formed this hard barrier around it so nothing will crack it. This is a survival technique I learned as a child. Don’t let anyone in and you won’t be hurt.
 
A late boyfriend of mine used to say to me ‘You are a hard nut to crack’ and I never knew what he meant but now I do. He also said that I was either clingy of hostile. This is also true. You are either everything to me or you are nothing.
 
As a child, I had an avoidant attachment style. I had spent a long time trying to get my mother’s attention. Having failed I shut down and become ambivalent about her. As an adult, this has transformed into a dismissive-avoidant style where I keep myself to myself. I avoid contact with others and keep emotions at arm’s length.
 
Despite the former tirade, I don’t blame my mother for anything.
 
In fact, I am thankful she had me. It was the 60s, she was out of wedlock and she could easily have not have done so.
 
I remind myself that I am not my mother. I understand the weaknesses of my upbringing and that allows me to cope with life as an adult.
 
Then, I have a tendency to shut myself away from people and have to try hard to socialise. The saying ‘better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all’ doesn’t apply to me. If there is a chance of losing love I won’t love in the first place.
 
I know why I have to be the centre of attention when I am in company. It is because I craved it as a child and never got it. Likewise, I like to shock people and see their reaction. This goes directly back to my mother. I would intentionally shock her when I was a teen. Just to try and get something out of her.
 
Final Thoughts
 
I think that we need to remember that emotional neglect from an unavailable mother can be as damaging as abuse and physical neglect. However, understanding how any kind of neglect has affected you is key to moving forward.

 

 
Janey Davies

 





About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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publicado por achama às 17:23
Sábado, 28 / 12 / 19

20 Signs of a Narcissistic Perfectionist Who Is Poisoning Your Life

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

December 27th, 2019.

 
Narcissistic Perfectionist signs.
 
 
 
Psychological terms such as narcissism and perfectionist have been around for decades. We understand their character traits, even if we don’t possess them ourselves. But what happens when the two collide? Is there such a thing as a narcissistic perfectionist? And if so, what impact does it have on a person’s life?
 
Understanding the Narcissistic Perfectionist
 
It is easy to explain this kind of person. We simply break down the two components of their personality.
 
 
So, we know that narcissists, as well as putting themselves first, have the following character traits:
 
Narcissists:
  • A grandiose sense of self
  • A sense of entitlement
  • They think they are special and unique
 
On the other hand, perfectionists set themselves impossibly high standards.
 
Perfectionists:
  • Strive for flawless performance
  • They will work tirelessly, be extremely self-critical.
  • Some will have a tendency to procrastinate.
 
Now, it’s not quite as simple as putting these two character traits together. This is because the narcissist who is also a perfectionist projects their perfectionism onto other people, not themselves. This is the difference between a perfectionist and a person with narcissistic traits.
 
The narcissistic perfectionist sets these unrealistic goals and targets for other people. Furthermore, they get angry and hostile if they don’t reach these impossible goals.
 
Dr. Simon Sherry is a clinical psychologist and an associate professor. He works in the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience.
 
 
“Narcissistic perfectionists have a need for other people to satisfy their unreasonable expectations… And if you don’t, they get angry.” Dr. Simon Sherry
 
Studies into This Type of Personality
 
Studies included researching the biographies of famous CEOs with narcissistic perfectionism. Employees reported their bosses lashing out at them for very minor mistakes. They would be held in high-esteem one minute then go from ‘hero to zero’ the next.
 
 
In addition, employees would be routinely derogated in front of co-workers. The CEOs would be hyper-critical, to the point of outright hostility.
 
So why is this combination so lethal?
 
“But high expectations paired with feelings of grandiosity and entitlement to the perfect performance of others creates a much more negative combination.” Dr. Simon Sherry
 
So far we have talked about top CEOs, but what about in everyday life? What if the perfectionist narcissist is a member of your own family?
 
Logan Nealis is a Clinical Psychology Ph.D. student. He is working with the Personality Research Team.
 
 
“A narcissistic perfectionist parent demands perfect performance from his daughter on the hockey rink, but not necessarily from anyone else out there.” Logan Nealis
 
But it’s not just about demanding perfection from people around them. It is also about basking in the glow of success through the perfection achieved by those around them. The narcissist can say, through these perfect achievements, ‘Look how good I am!’
Typical Behaviors of a Narcissistic Perfectionist
 
So how can you spot someone with narcissistic perfectionist tendencies? According to recent studies, there are several major red flags:
 
“Our most consistent finding across the two studies is that narcissistic perfectionism is associated with social negativity in the form of anger, derogation, conflict and hostility,” explains Dr. Sherry.
 
This social negativity goes hand-in-hand with the narcissist’s sense of superiority. So they won’t just take the time to critically humiliate you. In fact, they’ll do all of that whilst maintaining this sense that they are better than you.
 
The narcissist who also believes in perfectionism will react in violent and hostile outbursts. These outbursts will be a complete over-reaction to the mistake in question. For example, imagine that you have made one very small spelling error on a document. The narcissist perfectionist boss would drag you out in front of your co-workers, shout and scream at you and sack you on the spot.
 
Also, don’t forget, any errors will never be the narcissist’s fault. It is inconceivable to them that they might be wrong or the mistake is theirs. This black and white thinking just adds to the problem.
 
“In the world view of a narcissistic perfectionist, the problem exists outside of themselves. It’s the co-worker, it’s the spouse, it’s the roommate.” Dr Sherry
 
20 Signs Someone You Know Is a Narcissistic Perfectionist
 
  1. Many of us work for bosses that demand perfection. But what’s the difference between someone who wants the best work from you, or the narcissist who just happens to be a perfectionist too? And what about family and friends? Do you recognise any of the following signs?
  2. They set impossible demands/targets/goals
  3. These goals are for everyone else, not themselves
  4. They react inappropriately when something does not go their way
  5. You are always walking on eggshells around them
  6. You never know how they are going to react
  7. They are hyper-critical in everything you do
  8. Everything you do is up for criticism
  9. The rules apply to you but not to them
  10. They can bend the rules, but you never can
  11. They get impatient with you
  12. They demand great things from you
  13. You can’t ever be yourself around them
  14. You’re afraid of them
  15. They’re unprofessional at work
  16. They expect too much from you
  17. You’re not allowed to offer ‘excuses’
  18. It’s never their fault
  19. They are always right
  20. They don’t want to hear explanations
  21. If you make a mistake, they get hostile and angry
 
You might recognise some of the above signs. They may apply to a boss, a partner, a friend or a family member. Dealing with the narcissistic perfectionist in your life depends on the circumstances. If it is your boss, there might not be much you can do apart from seeking alternative employment.
 
For personal relationships, however, Dr. Sherry believes that getting the person to understand the impact of their behaviour is the way forward. Typically, the narcissist will not seek treatment. They may do it only in the end stages when their marriage has failed, or they have lost a company for example.
 
Final Thoughts
 
It is extremely difficult to change the mindset of a narcissist, particularly one with perfectionist traits. Sometimes the only thing you can do is leave, for your own sanity.
  1. medicalxpress.com
  2. www.sciencedaily.com
  3. www.researchgate.net
 

 
Janey Davies

 





About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

Archives:

 


 
A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
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Alternative to YouTube
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

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publicado por achama às 06:17
Quarta-feira, 04 / 12 / 19

Could You Be Dating a Psychopath? 9 Signs to Watch out for

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted December 3, 2019.

 
Dating a Psychopath.

 



Yes, all relationships have problems, but some are far worse. Although rare, you could be dating a psychopath.

Dating has its own challenges, but when you start calling each other names, like psychopath or Maniac, it gets rough. Yes, it is possible that you could be dating a psychopathic person, but you really don’t know until you’ve researched the illness. In fact, the psychopath has physical differences which can be seen when looking at the brain. Of course, only a doctor can do this. As for the outer signs…

Are you dating a psychopath?
Let’s be honest, people throw around titles for others just because of a few strange characteristics. We often hear someone say, “He’s a narcissist”, or “She’s so bipolar”. You should never call each other derogatory names, especially if those names are real conditions. Those are serious personality issues and the person doing this could be just as sick as the other. So, how do we know the truth about these things?
Signs of the psychopath:
1. They have charisma…at first

A psychopath will not come over as a rude or uncaring person, well, not at first. In fact, they will be the most amazing person to be around, with their charm and social magnetism.

Everyone who encounters the psychopath on a friendship level will think they are one of the best people around, and they will continue to think this until they cross into certain areas of the psychopath’s life where truths emerge. A psychopath can hold this charismatic personality well for long periods of time, even years.
2. They make rash decisions

You may pick up on the true character of the psychopath when you pay attention to how they make decisions. This type of person is usually impulsive, giving little thought to the things they want to do. You may notice they don’t ask your opinion about much of anything. They just tell you what they’re about to do, or even do it before you even know what’s happened.
3. Manipulation

One of the most common attributes of the psychopath is manipulation. If they want something, they will do almost anything to get it, but most of all, they will use manipulative tactics. They will tell you that giving in to something makes you love them more, or truly love them, and if you don’t, then…you don’t love them at all.

They play upon your feelings this way, making it incredibly hard to deny them, and if you do, they will make sure you feel their passive-aggressive wrath. You see, not all psychopaths are killers, like from the movies. Some of them kill you emotionally by ignoring you or doing things intentionally to hurt you. All of this comes by the weapon of, you guessed it, manipulation.
4. They are always bored

The psychopath needs constant stimulation. If they don’t receive it, they will be looking for something or someone else to stimulate them. Unlike some of us who can be content with doing nothing sometimes, this is impossible for them.

They always have to be playing games, going out, being active, getting attention – you name it. It’s really hard to keep the psychopath interested for long before they’re whining about how bored they are or they are off and running with impulsive behavior again.

5. They disobey authority

That impulsivity that I mentioned above, yes, that can lead to disobeying the law, which is another sign you could be dating a psychopath. They usually disregard the speed limit and they usually play on their phones while driving. They may be drug users or alcoholics even.

But if you pay attention, you will notice, they break the law in some way if they are psychotic. It’s a combination of being bored, ego, and other aspects of their personality disorder.
6. They are pathological liars

Accuse a psychopath of lying and they will deny it, all the time. They hardly ever admit to being deceitful, and they are good at covering up the things they do with even more lies.

At first, you may even think you’re going crazy for accusing them of lies, but eventually, you will see the depth of their deception, and it will astound you. If you’re dating a pathological liar, there is a good chance that this person is also a psychopath.
7. They’re usually cheaters too

Most psychopaths find it extremely hard to be faithful, and when they cheat, they usually don’t care either. In fact, they will be unfaithful to one partner and also be unfaithful to the one they’re cheating with, which goes back to the boredom and impulsive aspect of their character.

There’s nothing wrong with you, never think that it’s just who they are. The sooner you realize the truth, the better. Their unfaithfulness may not only cost your feelings, but their promiscuity can also cost your life if they are having unsafe sex…which they probably will be.
8. Irresponsibility

The psychopath holds no responsibility for anything. They are the type of person who, when confronted, denies everything. No matter what they’ve done, even if it’s just leaving a towel on the floor, they will try and either deny it, blame it on someone else or justify how it was someone else’s fault that they left it there.


I’ve seen this behavior before and it’s both horrifying and strangely funny. If it wasn’t so sad, I would probably laugh and walk away. They can actually wipe their conscious away just so easily.
9. Arrogant

A psychopath is an arrogant person. After they initially sweep you off your feet, you will start to realize this arrogant attribute a little more every day. Eventually, they will be so arrogant that nothing can stand in their way. If you’re not careful, this will erode your self-esteem. You have to try and remain a strong and stable person to withstand their arrogance and survive the psychopath.
Dating a psychopath? You have choices to make…fast

If you are dating such a person, chances are, they will not change. I’m sorry. You see, it’s not just about generational teachings or the environment with this one. The psychopath really does have a different brain than the normal person, as I mentioned above.

Where you or I might have a physical and mental reaction to violence, the psychopath can remain calm. And yes, this fact can be terrifying. It’s the answer to so many of their personality traits like constant boredom, impulsive behavior, and cheating. There usually is no remorse.

I hate to say that there is no hope at all with the psychopath simply because I never like giving up on anyone, but you might seriously consider your future with someone like this. If you feel threatened at all, then leaving is a priority. Also, if you do leave, be careful because the psychopath doesn’t easily let go. Just a fair warning.

So, in a nutshell, and as always, check the signs, get support, and do what’s best for YOU.

I wish you well.
References
:
  1. https://research.unt.edu
  2. https://www.webmd.com
 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

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publicado por achama às 09:17
Quinta-feira, 28 / 11 / 19

9 Signs of a Scam Artist and Manipulation Tools They Use

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

November 27th, 2019.

 
scam artist signs.
 
 

 
 
I’ve always been interested in the darker side of a person’s personality, particularly deviant behaviour. I want to know why someone might stray from the straight and narrow. So I often watch programmes about scam artists and their victims. And I think to myself, how did they fall for their tricks? Do they use specific tools to manipulate a person? Do they have to have particular character traits to pull off a scam? Is there a perfect victim? Well, all of the above is true. But before we examine the signs of a scam artist, let’s look at the type of person they target.
 
The Perfect Time for Scam Artists
 
Unfortunately, anyone can fall victim to a scam artist. We are all incredibly busy these days. We don’t have the time to scrutinise every email or text or phone call. Furthermore, scam artists are targeting us from every conceivable angle.
 
Decades ago, a con-artist would have to be confident and articulate. They would have to have face-to-face communication skills to convince someone to part with their cash. In fact, we get the term con-man from ‘confidence-man’. But things have changed massively.
 
These days, we talk to people who are thousands of miles away without even seeing them. Likewise, there are many different forms of communication. And that’s a major difference for our time.
 
In the past, a con-man would have to face his victim. He (or she) would see, up close and personal, the damage done as a result of their con. Now, scammers are people sat far away, in their tracksuits, targeting anonymous people who they have no emotional connection to at all.
 
As a result, anyone and everyone are under constant attack. If our wits are down our defences are wide open.
 
So who is a perfect victim for a scam artist?
 
Scam artists will look for a certain victim-type, depending on the scam they want to pull off. It is important to remember that a victim of a scam is not stupid. This is because scammers play to our emotions, not our intelligence. So, anyone who is in a vulnerable state is, particularly at risk.
 
For example, a person who has recently lost their job, a partner, a child. Someone who is going through a major life upheaval. But also positive things can make you vulnerable. For instance, a run of extremely good luck can skew your judgment.
 
Successful scams all hinge on desire over rationality. Victims of scams often don’t want to know a lot of details about the scam. They just need to know the outcome. In other words, will they be better off?
 
“Victims don’t look for why the offer is a scam; they look for why the offer will make them money. They want you to make them feel good so they can pull the trigger.” Anonymous scammer
9 Signs of a Scam Artist and Their Manipulation Tools
They use your name
 
Using a person’s first name is a powerful way to emotionally connect with someone. It instantly creates a bond between two people. You feel special, as if you are important to that person, particularly if it is your first meeting.
 
They mirror your body language
 
This is a classic manipulation tool that scammers use. By copying your body language, the scam artist is subconsciously forming an attachment with you. You feel attracted to them but you are not sure why.
 
‘We’re in this together’
 
‘We’re in this together.’ ‘You and I are going to be rich.’ ‘We’re gonna make a lot of money.’ Firstly, why would someone want to share their wealth with you? Particularly if you are a stranger to them?
 
Human beings tend to want to hoard their wealth so be very wary if a complete stranger wants to include you in a money-making scheme. Secondly, you’ll feel more like a team and less like you are alone in any risk-taking activity.
 
But there’s always a time limit
 
You often see unscrupulous salespeople do this in order to close a deal. There’s this fantastic offer on hand, but, you have to sign on the dotted line within an hour or the deal is gone. This tactic plays on the FOMO effect. We don’t want to miss out on a great deal. Listen, no deal is that good it doesn’t stand up to scrutiny and time spent away reflecting on it.
 
You’ll win a little at first
 
To get you to sign up to whatever scam is going, you will win a small amount of money in the short-term. This is done to build your confidence. It is also done to lock you into a situation. Now you are tied into a scheme. You are invested, literally and figuratively. You have a psychological need to continue. Of course, it won’t last.
 
Scam artists are good listeners
 
You might think that the majority of scammers are skilled in communication, but having good listening skills is equally important. The reason they listen a lot is that they need to know what will seal the deal for you and what a deal breaker is.
 
They’ll show their imperfections
 
Studies show that we trust a person that is not perfect. In the beginning, a scam artist will let you in on a little flaw of theirs that shows their imperfections. Of course, it won’t be a massive thing to put you off. I mean, they won’t confide that they are a psychopath who has just killed their mother. It will be just small enough to earn your trust.
 
Scammers start off small
 
Romance con-artists tend to ask for small amounts of money which then get bigger and bigger over time. The reasons can vary from paying off small debts to helping stop bankruptcy. Although the amounts may begin under 100 pounds or dollars, the victim can end up giving away their life-savings of over hundreds of thousands.
A scam artist will count on your embarrassment
 
Why do so many scams go unpunished or unprosecuted? Because the victim feels so embarrassed about being conned. And this is what the scammer is depending on. We often see elderly victims of scams refusing to come forward because they feel so ashamed about being scammed.
 
Final Thoughts
 
With so many scam artists out there, it is important to keep our wits about us. Probably the most important advice is that if a deal seems too good to be true, it is.
 

References:

  1. thebalance.com
  2. www.vox.com
  3. www.rd.com

 
Janey Davies

 





About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

Archives:



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

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publicado por achama às 09:33
Domingo, 17 / 11 / 19

The Illusion of Truth and How Liars and Manipulators Are Using It to Trick You

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted November 17, 2019.

 

 

 
 
Maybe what you’re hearing is not factional information. You could be the victim of the illusion of truth.
 
Truth is the truth and a lie is a lie, right? Well, it can get a little blurry at times. Yes, we all have problems with recognizing the truth from lies, but sometimes it’s because we’re dealing with manipulators.
 
To make things worse, liars and manipulators are using the illusion of truth to convince us that what they say, or omit, is fact. Their tactics seem to be working better than ever.
 
What Is the Illusion of Truth?
 
The illusion of truth is not just a statement in a sentence describing how someone deceived you.
 
Psychologist Tom Stafford has shared a secret with us about this illusion. He says the secret of avoiding lies is to avoid repetition. Yes, some of the best liars and manipulators use repetition toinstill a sort of familiarity in the brain. What seems familiar often seems truthful, wouldn’t you think?
 
This way of thinking has been coined the illusion of truth effect. It works by comparing truth with a lie, by only changing a small portion of the lie to resemble a second truth.
 
Let’s look at an example. The truth would be, “A penny is brown”, and a lie would be “a dime is brown”. I guess this one is a little too obvious, but it can easily be twisted if the dime just happens to be tarnished or covered with something. This would actually be a breeze for a liar.
 
Now, back to repetition. If you were told the lie about the coins once, and then again, you might believe it, especially if your perception was off.
 
However, it would be easier to fool someone with repetition by using fruits or vegetables. You can convince someone that peanuts grow on trees if you repeat it enough and show nothing to prove otherwise. I believe it’s how politicians pass off lies for the truth for so long and develop quite a large following.
 
Now, this effect may be interesting, but in the worst of hands, it can prove to be catastrophic to the lives of honest people. When toxic people, such as manipulators, learn the ability to lie in this manner, they can lie in all sorts of ways.
 
Here are ways the illusion of truth is used by manipulators:
 
Rationalization
 
Some people are easily convinced and manipulated by people who use rationalization. When it comes to lying, rationalization is a way to hide the inner lies.
 
For example, if you confront someone about their behavior, they may try to rationalize why it happened. If something missing is found in a man’s coat pocket, he may never admit that he stole the item. 
 
Instead, he may say something like this,
 
“Oh, I don’t know how that got in there. I did let a friend of mine use my coat when they came over.”
 
The truth is, the man stole the item, maybe a broach or even money. He passes the blame to an unknown friend and then rationalizes how the item got into his pocket.
 
This same person probably uses the same strategy whenever he is caught red-handed. No matter what he’s done wrong, he rationalizes and shows that there was a perfectly honest reason for what happened.
 
Minimalization
 
This tactic which shows how the illusion of truth can be used focuses mostly on making real lies seem like nothing.
 
Many people lie about where they are or what they’re doing. When their loved ones or partners find out the truth, they try to minimalize the situation likes it’s no big deal. One thing that might be said when someone is confronted about lying about being at a concert is,
 
“It’s not such a big deal. I just didn’t want you to worry about me being in that large crowd.”
 
Whether this is the real reason or not, it’s still a lie, and usually, when someone does this once, they have always done it and will always keep doing it as long as the situation isn’t improved. A lie is a lie, no matter how small. This, we must remember.
 
Omittance
 
Have you ever heard someone you love tell a story, and then later hear a whole lot more that they left out. The part they left out, yes, that part was the part that they knew would make you upset. To keep you happy with them, they omitted a part of their story. Do you know what this is? It’s lying.
 
Yes, I’m sorry to inform you, but omittance is lying, just like telling a stark lie. If you have information that you purposefully hold back, you are doing nothing less than hiding the truth from the ones you love.
 
It’s a prime example of the illusion we’re given in place of the truth. It’s as if the important information had become invisible.
 
Persuasion
 
There are ways of persuasion that can make lies seem like truth. Persuasion creates an illusion by reasoning and speaking of one’s own good reputations. When lies seem attractive, they also start to look like truth, depending on how much persuasion is being used and in what manner.
 
For instance, if someone does and speaks many good things, then it’s easier to believe that they would be honest. Unfortunately, sometimes these are the ones who lie the most. The good deeds and persuasive talk are ways of covering their heinous acts.
Don’t be fooled
 
I will be honest with you, I think I’m dealing with most of these tactics in my life right now. I will keep quiet about which people are doing this. Anyway, the illusion of what seems to be true looks so much like the real thing that you can go years before learning the truth behind the falsities.
 
The best way to recognize when the illusion of the truth is being used against you is to become educated and watch for the signs. There are many red flagsthat will help you become alert and ready for the lies. When they happen, then it’s up to you about whether or not you will tolerate the disrespect.
 
Are you being tricked?
 
References:
Sherrie Hurd
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 
 
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 21:14
Sexta-feira, 08 / 11 / 19

6 Signs of a Conceited Person and How to Deal with Them

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

November 7th, 2019.



 
Have you ever been (un)fortunate enough to meet the kind of person who thinks the world revolves around them? These kinds of people spend their lives up on their high horse and refuse to come down. These people are conceited.
 
Spending time with a conceited person is emotionally draining and can even be dangerous for your mental health and sense of self-worth. There’s nothing beneficial about having someone in your life who thinks they’re better than you.
 
 
Conceited people can be toxic to be around. It’s important to be able to spot a conceited person and know how to handle them as soon as possible – before it’s too late.
A Conceited Person Is Arrogant
 
Arrogant people tend to think that they are more worthy and more important than others. This is a common trait that a conceited person would have. When they are being arrogant, it’s likely that they’ll be disrespectful of others and their views and opinions. This is because they view themselves as more intelligent or able than anyone else.
 
They do not see others as equal, but rather they spend their time looking down on others. When this trait runs deeper, the conceited person could also become narcissistic. In this case, they truly believe that they are the best in any situation. Whether it be intelligence, attractiveness or abilities, they will always consider themselves top dog.
They Think They’re Always Right
 
When a person is conceited and thinks a lot of themselves, you’ll find it hard to even convince them they’re wrong. It could be at work in an important task or a casual comment in a conversation with friends. Wherever it may be, if a conceited person isn’t correct, they’ll never admit it.
 
Conceited people consider themselves infallible, and everyone else unintelligent. In a group, they’ll often try to ensure that their voice is the loudest, so no one else’s opinion can be expressed. This is simply because they feel that their view is the best and the most important one.
Conceited People Have a Superiority Complex
 
A superiority complex is a type of dysfunctional thinking. The conceited person thinks of themselves as much more important, or superior, to everyone else. They’ll usually find ways to slide their success and best qualities into conversations that don’t require it.
 
A conceited person with a superiority complex will always expect to be chosen first and always want to be the highest rank. In some cases, this is due to an internal fragility.
 
They crave constant confirmation that they are the best of the bunch. On the other hand, some people have this complex simply because they believe it, usually through excessive praise.
 
 
It can be difficult to deal with a conceited person who thinks that they’re always superior to you. No matter your own talents or abilities, you’ll always be put down.
 
Handle it by surrounding yourself with other people who respect you. Reminding yourself of your true achievements will stop you from believing the lies conceited people spill.
They Are Vain and Judgemental
 
A person who is conceited will definitely be obsessed with their own image. They crave attention and need to be attractive to others. Often, they might even base their self-worth on how they look.
 
You’ll be able to spot a conceited person by how much effort they put into their image, even when it’s unnecessary. There’s nothing wrong with looking your best, but if a trip to the grocery store requires their most attractive outfit, they might be a bit conceited.
 
When a person judges themselves based on their image, they tend to do the same to others. They’ll probably rank people’s worthiness by the way that they look. More attractive people will be more worthy of their time, while unattractive people will barely get a look in.
 
This will even include people who aren’t a romantic prospect. They’ll simply lack respect for anyone who doesn’t match their expectations for attractiveness.
A Conceited Person Won’t Give Credit to Anyone Else
 
Conceited people want to be the sole beneficiary of any success. They’ll usually want to keep all of the attention for themselves because they thrive off praise and admiration. Their craving for praise and always needing to be the bests leads them to leave people out when the credits roll.
 
 
No matter their real contribution to the project, they’ll always want their name first. No matter how many people helped them achieve a goal along the way, they’ll always downplay it.
 
When you’re battling for recognition with this kind of person, never let them win. If you’re proud of your part in something, never let a conceited attention-seeker steal your thunder. Make your own successes known.
They Need Constant Reassurance
 
Conceited people aren’t always as self-assured on the inside as they are on the outside. A conceited person might seem like they’re obsessed with their looks, their success, and their importance.
 
Deep down though, the reason they’re obsessed with those things could be that they don’t really believe it. They bring up their achievements and belittle others because they need to be reassured that they are successful, important and attractive.
 
Instead of being humble and insecure on the outside though, this presents as overconfidence and conceitedness. They constantly set up opportunities for others to take notice of them and, hopefully, agree with their bragging statements.
 
You have to weigh up the pros and cons when it comes to dealing with a conceited person who needs your constant reassurance.
 
If you love them and feel close enough, try having a conversation. Tell them you think they’re great and offer them support in seeking help for the underlying insecurities they have. Once they have more genuine self-belief, they’ll probably be less conceited.
 
If this person isn’t close to you, then their conceit could be draining. Make sure you protect yourself. Don’t let conceited people tell you that you aren’t important. Remember your own worth.
 
References:
 
Becky Storey

 




 

About the Author: Becky Storey


 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 02:51
Terça-feira, 05 / 11 / 19

How to Deal with Toxic People the Way Intelligent People Do

Lottie Miles.

learning-mind.com

Posted November 4th, 2019.

 
HOW TO DEAL WITH TOXIC PEOPLE.

 

 
Life comes with its ups and downs and navigating our way through these is not always easy. One of the key factors which can affect our well-being and sense of self-worth is having a toxic person in our lives. But what exactly is a toxic person? More to the point, what should you do if you have one in your life? In this post, we explore how to deal with toxic people in a smart way.
 
Who Are Toxic People?
 
Anyone can be moody or alter their behavior due to circumstances going on in their life. However, a toxic person is one of the following:
 
 
Unfortunately, it is likely that you will have come across such a person either in your personal or professional life (or both).
 
Knowing how to deal with toxic people can go a long way in managing these relationships in your life. In this post, we take a look at some techniques used by emotionally intelligent people when faced with toxic people. You can draw on these techniques the next time you encounter a toxic person.
 
How Smart People Deal with Toxic People
 
Do not justify their behavior
 
The behavior of a toxic person towards yourself is unjustifiable. However, it can be easy to make excuses for someone. Especially if perhaps they are going through some hardship in their life.
 
We can all relate to a certain level of moodiness or snappiness. Still, if someone is being actively nasty to you this is unacceptable. Excusing a toxic person’s behavior only causes you to doubt yourself. Moreover, it is likely to have a detrimental effect on your well-being.
 
Distance yourself from that person
 
A person who takes pleasure from making you feel bad is not a person that deserves your time and attention. Ask yourself, does this ring true for any of your personal relationships? If so, then it might be time to distance yourself from this toxic person. Understandably, this is easier said than done.
 
At the same time, think about the effect this person is having on your well-being. To say nothing of how you would feel if you no longer had to deal with their behavior towards you.
 
Ultimately, there are different ways to deal with a toxic person. For certain people, the right decision may be to cut them out altogether. This is if circumstances allow it and the time is right for you.
 
Establish boundaries
 
For others, cutting a toxic person out of their life is not a realistic solution. In this instance, establishing some boundaries might be the way forward. Make the toxic person aware of the impact of their actions and behavior. While this is no easy task, it may help them to realize that you are no pushover.
 
 
Establishing boundaries is also about putting yourself in control. You decide when and where you will encounter the person. You can ensure there is a time limit on these occasions. This will help you to prepare mentally for this meeting and put you in the driving seat.
 
Plan your reaction
 
This brings us to the next method of dealing with toxic people. Once you have established boundaries, you will be able to prepare how you will react for whatever the person in question has to throw at you.
 
If you know that they are partial to criticize you for a particular aspect of your life, or they have a particular method of upsetting you then prepare how you will respond to this in advance.
 
Whether it be practising relaxation techniques or preparing your response word for word, it will put you in better control of the situation.
 
Get support
 
Perhaps the most important piece of advice when it comes to dealing with some really toxic people is to get support from those who are positive forces in your life. Whether it be at work or in your personal life.
 
Identifying those individuals that bring you strength will help to build your barriers up against the person who is challenging you with their toxicity.
 
Not only this, it is helpful to draw on support around you to get a different perspective on the issue. Here you can gain useful advice and insights to help you deal with those toxic people in your life.
 
Value yourself
 
Finally, another important way to deal with toxic people is to recognize your own value. Through acknowledging your own self-worth and owning it you can build your resistance to whatever toxicity is thrown at you.
 
Taking their comments and insults with a grain of salt will reduce the impact that a toxic person has on you. Allowing you to elevate your inner worth above anything that they have to say.
 
Final Thoughts
 
Learning how to deal with toxic people is, unfortunately, a skill that we can all benefit from. Recognizing those that bring toxicity to our lives and putting measures in place to reduce the negative impact that has on us is essential for our well-being.
 
Make sure you are aware of the toxic people around you. More importantly, seek professional support immediately for any behavior that goes beyond toxicity to abuse.
 
References:
 
 
Lottie Miles
 





 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 00:28
Domingo, 03 / 11 / 19

Why Do Psychopath Traits in Males Seem So Attractive to Women?

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

November 3rd, 2019.

 
psychopath traits in males.
 
 


 
 
We all love a bad boy, right? They are the exciting, unpredictable, alluring and mysterious men that we find attractive. I mean, who wants a cardigan and slippers guy when you can be swept off your feet by a charming seducer? But hang on a minute, what’s so wrong with a lovely, caring man? Someone who will cherish and protect you? A man who puts your needs first and above their own? Why is that considered boring to some women? Why do we find psychopath traits in males so alluring?
 
Origins of Psychopath Traits in Males
 
Bad Boys in Films
 
Hollywood has played on the bad boy image for decades. Actually, you only have to think back to Clark Cable in ‘Gone with the Wind‘, James Dean in ‘Rebel Without a Cause‘ and Marlon Brando in ‘A Streetcar Named Desire‘.
 
Fast forward to today and our modern-day equivalents include Mads Mikkelsen as Hannibal Lecter, Tom Hiddleston as Loki or Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman. Or in fact, anyone playing James Bond.
 
Similarly, actors with a bad boy image are equally as interesting. Oliver Reed, Robert Downey Jr, Colin Farrell, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, Johnny Depp, and Mark Wahlberg. So what is it about these dark traits that women find attractive?
 
First Contact
 
Psychopaths are charming, persuasive and manipulative. Therefore, we are charmed when we first meet one. Likewise, psychopaths make us feel special. Their attention is excessive. We bathe in their spotlight. These exciting individuals have chosen us mere mortals to shine their attention on. We are the chosen ones and feel special.
 
Then they withdraw. They disappear for days. We have lost this contact. Then this special feeling turns into despair, longing, and withdrawal. And this where it gets interesting. It is this withdrawal that keeps us hooked, literally and psychologically.
 
The continual giving and withdrawing attention is what attracts us. In fact, it strengthens our feelings and makes males with psychopath traits seem even more attractive.
Studies Reveal Why We Find Males with Psychopath Traits Attractive
 
If you are one of the people thinking this is ridiculous, it might help to think of how the brain copes with withdrawal. It’s all to do with dopamine and the pleasure centre in the brain.
 
Dopamine and Withdrawal
 
When we engage in positive experiences, dopamine floods into our brain. Dopamine is the happy hormone. It is released whenever we eat delicious food, have great sex, receive amazing compliments, or get positive attention.
 
If these experiences are repeated and reinforced, this neurotransmitter then makes connections. It creates reward circuits. These circuits make automatic associations in our brains. They instantly flare up when we anticipate a particular behaviour or person.
 
However, studies have shown that dopamine works best when the reinforcements are intermittent. When the experiences are constant, the dopamine does not flow as well. This is the ‘frustration-attraction’ dilemma. It means that obstacles in the relationship are actually fuelling the attraction.
 
As a result, our brains are programmed to find men with psychopath traits attractive. Simply because their behaviour is unpredictable.
 
“The point about bad boys is that they’re not all bad. When they’re charming, they’re very, very charming. Their goodness becomes an addiction.” Virginia Ironside, The Independent Agony Aunt
 
Psychopaths are not capable of focusing their attention on others. By their very nature, their narcissism and self-centredness won’t allow them to put others first. They are masters of frustration-attraction.
  • Psychopath Traits in Males Include:
  • Lack of empathy
  • Selfishness
  • Narcissism
  • Self-centred
  • Impulsive
  • Risky behaviour
  • Parasitic
  • Insincerity
  • Duplicity
 
Consequently, we are left, much like a drug addict, searching for our next hit. We are desperate for time with our toxic partner. This is because our brain has made an association with the unsuitable partner.
 
When we think about them, we get a pang of withdrawal. We need our dopamine rush. This keeps us invested in the relationship. Whether it is good for us or not.
 
Sexual Attraction
 
 
In another study, 128 female undergraduates were given two descriptions of male characters; men with Dark Triads and a control. The study included high psychopath traits in males taken from the Psychopathy Scale III, the Narcissistic Personality Inventory and the Mach-IV.
 
 
High Psychopath Male Traits include:
  • Manipulation
  • Deceit
  • Lack of remorse
  • Desire for attention
  • No morality
  • Charming others
  • Cynicism
  • Need for prestige
 
The traits in the study did not include the dark psychopath traits in males.
 
Participants had to rate the attractiveness on a scale of 1-6. The results showed that the females found dark traits more attractive than the control. But why?
Sexual Selection
 
The first reason is sexual selection. Researchers believe that the higher psychopath dark traits in males indicate a ‘masculine quality‘ unique to male sexuality. For example, traits like confidence, risk-taking and charm. These are all associated with sexual prowess.
 
In fact, these particular dark traits are linked to increased sexual activity and success in males. There is a connection between one-night stands and this type of male.
 
Sexual Conflict
 
The second reason is sexual conflict. Women find men who can sell themselves especially attractive. These are the charmers and the manipulators. The ones that can keep you hooked over time. These types don’t necessarily score highly when it comes to sexual prowess. However, they do manage to maintain multiple partners.
 
Final Thoughts
 
Males with psychopath traits might attract us in the first instance. However, studies do show that women find altruistic males more attractive in the long term. So while you might be instantly drawn to that bad boy, the chances are you will end up marrying the good guy.
 
 
Janey Davies



About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

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publicado por achama às 20:32
Sexta-feira, 01 / 11 / 19

The Psychology of Angels of Mercy: Why Do Medical Professionals Kill?

By Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com.

October 31st, 2019.

 
angels of mercy psychology.


 
Angels of mercy are known by two definitions. One is considered a benevolent watchful spirit, and the other a bringer of death.
 
The angel of mercy I refer to today is the one who brings death by my own hands. They’re not winged creatures sent by God, no. They’re more like hospital employees killing patients while playing “nurse”. And yet, they are registered nurses, received accreditation and diplomas, and work in the medical field sometimes for decades. But they are also angels of mercy or rather angels of DEATH.
 
A few cases of “mercy” killings
 
One case concerning the angel of mercy is about an ex-German nurse, Neils Hogel. He admits to killing over 100 patients by injections causing cardiac arrest. Hogel claims he was only trying to impress others by reviving the patients, unsuccessfully, I might add, but this claim didn’t seem viable.
 
Most likely, Hogel was acting as an angel of death, or angel or mercy, however you view this sort of activity. Hogel was able to conduct his killings between 1995 and 2003 before caught.
 
In 2001, nurse Kirsten Gilbert killed four of her patients by injecting epinephrine, causing cardiac arrest, then she would attempt to resuscitate them. It was thought that she was trying to draw attention to herself as a hero, and also draw attention from the police proving that someone else was trying to kill patients.
 
A bit of psychology about serial killers
 
Most serial killers seem to fit in the antisocial category or even have an antisocial personality disorder. Unlike most serial killers, however, medical killers like angels or mercy don’t always fit into this characteristic. For instance, as far back as the 1800s, we see one such angel of mercy conduct several medical killings, with a smile on her face.
 
Jane Toppan was called “Jolly Jane” because she was always happy and kind to everyone. Unfortunately, she had a dark secret. She derived sexual pleasure from killing her own patients.
 
Toppan was a nurse in Boston who experimented secretly on her patients with morphine and atropine and then killing them with overdoses. She would watch them die slowly and gain pleasure from the fact. When she was finally caught, she said it was her goal to kill as many people as possible.
 
 
 
Two types of angels of mercy
 
Just like any other type of serial killer, there are two basic types. There are organized and disorganized killers. The organized version is neater, smarter, and takes more risks, while the disorganized killers are sloppy, random, and generally does the easier killings.
 
Medical killers, like the angels of death, fall into these two categories, and so this is the main similarity between them and other types of serial killers.
 
A few facts about the angel of mercy
 
Most angels of mercy are female, although there are many male versions as well. I can guess this is because of the higher percentage of female nurses in the medical field. Women often seem to be trusted more in the nursing profession as well, which gives them an advantage.
 
Most angels of mercy use more passive ways of murder like medications or injections. It’s rarer to find suffocation or violence as the cause of death in these cases.
 
Reasons for these killings
 
There are a few reasons why angels of mercy do what they do. As I mentioned above, some do this to play hero when resuscitation is involved or getting the attention of authorities, which I might add is risky on their part and rarely works.
 
Angels of mercy may also truly believe that they are helping the patient by ending their suffering, especially if they are elderly or suffering from a terminal illness. It’s more or less like an in-house Dr. Kevorkian, coming to save the patient from extreme and unnecessary pain.
 
Also, some angels of death simply kill for power or as a mode of stimulation. Normal life has lost its meaning for them and something more extreme has to be done in order to feel like life has any meaning, even if it means killing. Many other types of serial killers feel the same way.
 
Past traumas can also cause the angel of mercy killings, especially if past trauma involved an elderly relative or a high number of deaths in the family at any given time. The killer may dwell on death as an inevitable fate, which it is, and turn to kill to aid in the natural process of death.
 
And of course, there are many reasons yet, we’ve found, that make nurses want to kill their patients. But there is never a good enough reason for us to take death into our own hands, especially without the consent of the one being killed. At least with assisted suicide, you do have the consent of the dying before ending the life. But that’s an altogether different topic…
 
It’s kind of frightening
 
While most of the patients killed by the angels of mercy were elderly, there have been a handful of cases where children were involved. It seems no one can be certain where these “angels” may strike again. I guess it’s safe to say, know your medical professionals before you put your life in their hands.
 
There are many more cases of these killings, and between 1070 and the present, they have increased exponentially. The good news is, after profiling and many captures of these serial killers, we can have hope that medical care is getting safer again.
 
Just remember, this is another extremely important thing you must research when switching medical professionals. Know your doctors well, and especially your nurses.
 
Be safe out there.
 
References:

 

Sherrie Hurd.


 





 

About the Author: Sherrie Hurd


Sherrie Hurd is a professional writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She is an advocate for mental health awareness and nutrition. Sherrie studied Psychology, Journalism, and Fine Arts, receiving an Associates in Marketing. She has written for Beacon, a southern college publication, and is an author of a full-length non-fiction novel. Sherrie spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 

Archives:



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 



 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 17:03
Terça-feira, 04 / 06 / 19

5 Tools of Narcissistic Triangulation: Is Someone Doing This to You? ~ Sherrie.

5 Tools of Narcissistic Triangulation: Is Someone Doing This to You?

By Sherrie.

June 3rd, 2019

 

Narcissistic abuse is terrible enough, but having to deal with narcissistic triangulation is a whole other level of this illness.
I’ve studied narcissism and other personality disorders for quite some time. I’ve learned aboutthe traits and characteristics, and then, I discovered that we all have a certain level of narcissism within us. Did you know that? Well, it seems I’m learning something new every day, and that’s a good thing. Just recently I learned there was something called, “narcissistic triangulation”, and this has opened up areas in my life that were hard to see.

What is this form of abuse?

The narcissist’s tool of madness – triangulation – is a severe mode of alienating people from others that they love. Triangulation can also mean using gaslighting(convincing outsiders that someone you love is crazy), and it can mean draining life from the victim while gaining popularity with the victim’s loved ones.
I think it’s one of the sickest weapons that a narcissist can use. In fact, I feel nauseated at this moment because I’m learning that I know quite a few people like this.

Are they using narcissistic triangulation on you?

A narcissist, especially a covert kind, will use triangulation often during their abusive actions. It’s a way to cover who they really are. This happens when the victim starts to figure out the true identity of the narcissist. It’s almost a retaliation from being noticed, actually.
If the narcissist can use triangulation to separate the victim from all their loved ones, then the victim will be aloneeasy prey for the narcissist. Can you feel the disgust? I can.
So, let’s see if any narcissists are using triangulation on you:

1. Invoking jealousy

Narcissists who use triangulation will attempt to make their partner jealous. One of the most common ways they do this is by using a third party.
For instance, the narcissist may tell their partner that one of her friends flirted with him. This not only makes the victim feel insecure but also makes her try harder to please the narcissist in fear of losing his interest to her friend. It’s sadistic, honestly.
If you’ve noticed your partner talking about girls flirting with him, try not to respond. It’s your response the narcissist craves.

2. Division

Have you noticed your partner saying negative things about certain friends you have? If so, they’re probably telling these friends negative things about you as well. This happens when communication between two particular people could expose the narcissist’s true identity.
Pay close attention to who your partner talks about and his overall demeanor when he does this. He could possibly be using triangulation to keep control.

3. Gaslighting

Gaslighting is when a narcissistic personality convinces others that her partner is crazy or abusive. This is possible because of carefully manipulative instigation.
For example, a narcissist will say derogatory things about her partner until he gets mad. When he retaliates, she will say he is crazy. Sometimes she does this in public so that more people can see just how crazed he gets.
If your girlfriend is starting fights with you for no reason, be careful of gaslighting. This might be what’s about to happen, which proves triangulation.

4. Recruitment

Is your partner often calling in reinforcements from friends and family when you start fighting or having a disagreement? If so, then this could be a form of narcissistic triangulation.
Now, sometimes help is needed when dealing with serious issues, but leveraging people to one side is just not a healthy move in a relationship. You may have noticed how your partner’s family members always take their side, this is common of course, but this, in ways, is triangulation as well.

5. The break-up

If you’re about to break up with your partner, then take a close look at how it’s being done.
Let’s say it’s his idea, and not so much your own. If he is using triangulation, he is telling other people about how bad you are and getting them to agree with everything he says. One of these confidants is probably the woman he wishes to replace you with.
It’s a sick and twisted way of ending a relationship, but it fits right in with how narcissists use triangulation.

What you can do with this information

I’ve been reading about narcissists all day now. I was researching things and then ran off into tangents learning even more about the traits and characteristics of the narcissist. I’m going to be honest with you, this type of personality is complex and difficult to change.
The bright side is, now you have a few facts about narcissistic triangulation and how it works. It’s your choice what to do with this information. I do urge you to consider all aspects of your relationship, whether it be romantic, secular or simply a family relationship.
When you recognize the signs of narcissists and triangulation, it’s time to ask yourself one important question.
“Should I get away, or should I stay and try to help?”
The answer is up to you. Just take care of yourself and remember your self-worth in the process.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://en.wikipedia.org
 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

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publicado por achama às 18:13
A Luz está a revelar a Verdade, e esta libertar-nos-á! -Só é real o AMOR Incondicional. -Quando o Amor superar o amor pelo poder, o mundo conhecerá a Paz; Jimi Hendrix. -Somos almas a ter uma experiência humana!

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