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Segunda-feira, 18 / 05 / 20

‘Is My Child a Psychopath?’

‘Is My Child a Psychopath?’ 

5 Signs to Watch Out For

Janey Davies, B.A. (Hons)

https://www.learning-mind.com

May 18th, 2020.

is my child a psychopath
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Are you worried about your child? Have you noticed a disturbing mean streak in them? Are they not fazed by punishment? Have you ever been so frightened of your child’s behaviour that you start to ask yourself, ‘Is my child a psychopath?’

‘Is My Child a Psychopath?’ – How to Recognize the Signs

Adult psychopaths fascinate us, but they must have come from somewhere. So, would you be able to recognise psychopathic traits in your child?
Historically, studies into child psychopathy have been carried out retrospectively. In other words, we take the adult psychopath and look into his or her childhood. Adult psychopaths can share several traits common in childhood. The MacDonald Triad suggested three such significant traits:
  1. Bed-wetting
  2. Cruelty to animals
  3. Fire-setting
However, subsequent research has criticised the MacDonald Triad. Instead, studies have shown that traits such as ‘callous disregard’ are more common in children who go onto exhibit psychopathy as adults.
“I remember when I bit my mom really hard, and she was bleeding and crying. I remember feeling so happy, so overjoyed—completely fulfilled and satisfied.” Carl*

Adult Psychopathic Traits vs Child Psychopathy

Speaking of adults, adult psychopathic traits are well-documented. We know that psychopaths tend to exhibit certain behaviours.

Adult Psychopathic Traits

The Mayo Clinic defines psychopathy as:
“A mental condition in which a person consistently shows no regard for right and wrong and ignores the rights and feelings of others.”
Psychopaths make up about 1% of the population. Around 75% are male and 25% female.
Psychopaths share many characteristics. In fact, the Hare Checklist is a specific list of psychopathic traits. The most common adult psychopathic traits are:
  • Lying and manipulation
  • Lack of morals
  • No empathy
  • Superficial charm
  • Narcissism
  • Superiority complex
  • Gaslighting
  • Lack of conscience
So do children share these same traits as their adult counterparts?
“I wanted the whole world to myself. So I made a whole entire book about how to hurt people. I want to kill all of you.” Samantha*

Child Psychopathy

Well, society does not label children as psychopaths. Instead, children with ‘dark traits’ are described as ‘callous and unemotional’. Experts use this callous-unemotional behaviour (CU behaviour) to form a diagnosis.

Examples of Callous Unemotional Behaviour in Children:

Studies into antisocial behaviour in children have captured several common traits in children as young as 2 years old:
  1. A lack of guilt after misbehaving
  2. No difference in behaviour after punishment
  3. Constant lying
  4. Sneaky behaviour designed to mislead you
  5. Selfish and aggressive behaviour when they don’t get what they want
Further research has led to the Youth Psychopathic Traits Inventory (YPI), which is similar to the Hare Checklist. Adolescents answer a series of questions which are then scored to measure the following personality traits:
  • Sense of grandiosity
  • Lying
  • Manipulation
  • Callous nature
  • No remorse
  • Insincere charm
  • Unemotionality
  • Thrill-seeking
  • Impulsiveness
  • Irresponsible nature
Children and adolescents that exhibit many of the above CU traits are more likely to commit anti-social behaviour as young adults and end up in prison.
“Don’t let me hurt you, Mom.” Kevin*

Is a Child Psychopath a Product of Nature or Nurture?

There are some experts that believe child psychopaths are born this way. However, others think it is more likely to be a mixture of genes and environment.
Philosopher John Locke first suggested that children are ‘blank slates‘, filled with experiences from their parents and interactions with their environment. But children are more than that. They come with their own readymade personality. This core personality then interacts with family, friends, and society. The environment shapes this core personality into the adults we become.
So what can cause a child to become a psychopath?

What Are the Causes of Child Psychopathy?

Early childhood abuse

One of the strongest indications of child psychopathy is early abuse in childhood. In fact, neglected, abused, or children that grew up in dysfunctional environments are more likely to show psychopathic tendencies later on.

Attachment issues

Separation from a parent or primary caregiver can have devastating effects on a child. We know that it is essential to form an attachment with our parents. However, the parent in question could suffer from addiction or mental health problems.
In fact, studies show that young female psychopaths are likely to have come from dysfunctional home lives.

Victimisation

On the other hand, young male psychopaths are more likely to have been victimised at an early age. The perpetrator carrying out the victimisation can be a parent or the child’s peers. This reasoning confirms what we already know, in that victims of bullying will often become bullies themselves.

Different brain structure

Other studies propose that children who show CU behaviours have differences in their brain structure. This supports the theory that suggests adult psychopaths have different brains to the rest of us.
Children with CU traits have less grey matter in the limbic system. This system is responsible for processing emotions. They also have an underactive amygdala. Someone with an undersized amygdala has problems recognising emotions in others. Therefore, they lack empathy.
“Kill John and Mommy with them (knives). And Daddy.” Beth*

5 Signs Your Child Is a Psychopath

So we can understand some of the causes behind child psychopathy. But if you ask yourself, ‘Is my child a psychopath?’, what signs should you be looking out for?

1. Superficial charm

These children can appear charming but they are mimicking what they’ve seen other people do. The only reason they appear to be charming is to get what they want.
One way you can identify superficial charm in children is to watch their reactions when someone else is upset or distressed. In normal circumstances, seeing someone upset will be in itself upsetting to a child. They will try and comfort whoever is upset. If your child is a psychopath, they won’t care and it certainly won’t upset them.

2. Lack of guilt or remorse

Children with CU behaviour use their charm to manipulate others. If they want something, they will do anything in their power to get it. If this happens to hurt another person in the process, so be it. They don’t understand that their actions have consequences. All they know is that the world is there for them. Therefore, they can do whatever they want.
So look out for selfishness in your child, one that is not prepared to share with others and one that acts aggressively if their needs are not met.

3. Prone to aggressive outbursts

Most parents are used to toddler tantrums, but the aggressive outbursts from child psychopaths are much more than tantrums. If you feel frightened of your own child’s capabilities, it’s a sign of psychopathy.
One other thing to point out is that these outbursts will come from nowhere. For instance, one minute, everything is fine, the next, your child is threatening you with a knife if you don’t get them a new puppy. The outburst is a massive overreaction to the situation.

4. Immune to punishment

Brain scans have shown that reward systems in callous children are overactive, but they are unable to recognise the usual signs of punishment. This leads them to focus doggedly on their own pleasure without being able to stop, even if it means hurting someone. Moreover, they know that if they get caught, they’ll be reprimanded.
We usually temper our behaviour to match the consequences of our actions. If your child is a psychopath, they know the consequences – they just don’t care.

5. No empathy for others

Does your child seem flat behind the eyes? Do you look at them and wonder if they are capable of loving you? It’s not that they don’t know what love is, they just don’t experience it.
Child experts believe that inactivity in the amygdala is to blame. More interestingly, we know that babies, when given the choice, would rather look at human faces than something like a red ball. Studies reveal that children who exhibit CU behaviour prefer the red ball to a face.
“I choked my little brother.” Samantha*

Can a Child Psychopath Be Cured?

So can child psychopaths ever be cured? Probably not. But their behaviour can be modified.
Research has shown that children with CU behaviour do not respond to punishment. However, because their reward centre in the brain is overactive, they do respond to incentives. This is cognitive morality. So while the child may never recognise emotions or understand empathy, they do have a system that rewards them for good behaviour.

Final Thoughts

Nature or nurture, brain abnormalities, or neglect in childhood. Whatever the reason, seeing callous disregard in children is particularly horrifying. But it doesn’t have to mean a life sentence. So if you suspect that your child is a psychopath, you should know that with proper therapy, even the coldest of children can live a relatively normal life.
References:
  1. www.psychologytoday.com
  2. www.theatlantic.com
  3. www.telegraph.co.uk
  4. nypost.com
*Names changed.
 
Janey Davies
 

 
 
About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 




Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

 
All articles are of the respective authors or publishers responsibility. 
 


 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 
 

 

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publicado por achama às 12:01
Domingo, 26 / 04 / 20

10 Signs of a Spoiled Child: Are You Overindulging Your Kid?

10 Signs of a Spoiled Child: 

Are You Overindulging Your Kid?

Michelle Liew, B. A. 

Contributor writer to Learning Mind.

April 25th, 2019.

 
 
 


 

To give or not to give” is a question that mystifies almost all parents. So how much should you give your little one before he or she becomes a spoiled child?
Bratty behaviour is off-putting, but how can you prevent it? You don’t want to shortchange your child either. Balance, as always, is the key, and it’s not easy to achieve. Here are some signs that you’ve over-indulged your little hero or heroine.
How does a child become spoiled?
Experts in child psychology such as Dr. Laura Markham cringe at the terms “spoiled” or “brat“. They connote rejection and ruination. These words are also inappropriate to say since it is parents who are accountable for their behaviour. According to Dr. Markham, adults lead children to understand behavioural and social norms. They will not adhere to limits if they are too lax.
Parents often encourage spoiled behaviour unwittingly despite their positive intentions. They are afraid of saying ‘no’ for fear of hurting feelings. Some are just too tired after a day’s work to enforce rules.

10 signs of a spoiled child: so they sound like your kid?

Hence, many parents fail to notice hints of unwanted or temperamental behaviour. Here are a few signs that you may need to rein in your child.

1. Tantrum throwing

This is the first and most obvious sign of a spoiled child. This behavior is one that parents should address immediately and is as clear as day. Should your seven-year-old child throw a fit just because they don’t get to go where they wish to, pull the reins at once. They should start to learn about boundaries and constraints.

2. Your child cannot cope with simple chores

All children must achieve independence, and of course, some will be more independent than others. When your ten-year-old child throws a fit just because breakfast is not on schedule, you know that you’ll need to pull the reins.
It’s challenging to determine if a child has developed undesirable character nuances. Experts suggest that a three-year-old should be able to put their toys away after using them. A ten-year-old should be able to prepare simple meals.

3. You give in to all your child’s requests

Do you find yourself giving in to your child’s whims and fancies for fear that they will throw tantrums? Many hassled parents give in because they cannot bear the thought of another person yelling at them after a long day of work; their bosses had already done that. On other occasions, they just want to bond with their children because their work schedules are tight.
While the intentions are sound, giving in to children to readily isn’t in their best interests. They will start to form unrealistic expectations and want everyone to cater to their whims. When parents immediately satisfy every wish a child has, they grow up into a tempered and immature adult.

4. Negative reaction from peers

In essence, the child will bring out the attitude they receive in their family. If they never get punished when they do something wrong and always get what they fancy, they don’t learn the basic rule of life – every action has consequences. Thus, such a kid will feel entitled, which will affect the way they treat other children.
Furthermore, spoiled children will get adverse reactions from their peers. They may face ostracism because they don’t know how to socialise well. You’ll often find them taking things from others without giving something in return, and of course, the reception to that is almost always as you’d expect.

5. Your child is afraid to lose

Is your child a sore loser? A spoiled child hates competition, even more so when someone else gets to claim the prize they covet. Children must engage in competitive activities and learn that everyone loses occasionally.
Your child should learn that failure is a part of life and they can’t always win. Moreover, unhealthy competitiveness is not going to lead them anywhere. It will only bring them bitterness and anger.

6. The spoiled child speaks in a presumptuous manner

Spoiled kids speak to adults, particularly the ones that they do not like, as less than equals. They presume that they can get everyone to do their bidding, including those who have had years of life experience under their belts. There is a complete disregard for authority.
This kind of attitude reveals a sense of entitlement, so you need to deal with this behavior as soon as possible if you don’t want to see your child developing into a narcissist.

7. You issue empty threats

Your child is spoiled if you find them ignoring your threats of punishment. Unheeded warnings are ineffective and even detrimental. A power struggle is not the way to form meaningful relationships.
Later on, your child may end up handling conflict and disagreements in an unhealthy way, such as becoming manipulative and passive-aggressive. Don’t let your kid adopt this kind of immature approach to relationships.

8. Inconsistent expectations

Parents of spoiled children don’t set boundaries early enough. Their children do as they please because they know that they will not suffer consequences. If you issue a curfew and skip the punishment, your child will view it as an empty threat and ignore it.
When you don’t punish your child if they did something wrong, they don’t learn that their actions have consequences and they need to take responsibility. This is a one-way road to becoming an immature and irresponsible adult.

9. You protect your child from painful emotions

Do you rush to comfort your child each time they whine or stomp their foot? You may have to act quickly to nip the spoiled behaviour in the bud. Children need to process complicated feelings like fear and anger. It’s up to parents to furnish them with that need.
Children of overprotective parents often grow into mentally weak adults who develop unhealthy coping mechanisms. If you don’t want this for your child, you need to let them experience life in all its depth, both negative and positive sides of it. Otherwise, they will never develop resilience and will be helpless when life throws them a curveball.

10. Your child doesn’t understand that money doesn’t grow on trees

You have spoiled your child if they tend to overspend. They think that it is within their rights to get any toy they fancy. But should you indulge them whenever they whine? Children need to learn the process of saving money early, and that the things that they want at the time do not come for free.

Tips for preventing spoiled behaviour in your child

If you are feeling anxious because you have said yes to your child displaying these signs, take heart. You can take steps to counter the behaviour.

1. Set limits

The first order of business is to set limits. You must let your children understand what you like and dislike them to do. Set moral standards as well, as they will be the foundation for a child’s behaviour later on in life.

2. Use open-ended questions

It’s the adults’ responsibility to teach children to reflect on their actions, and they can do so by challenging children with questions that require them to consider the impact of their behaviour. You could ask, “Why do you think that taking the toy away from your brother isn’t the right thing to do?”
Asking them questions that trigger “yes” or “no” responses will show them that they only need to say what you want to hear.

3. Make sure that children do chores

As mentioned earlier, a spoiled child would expect you to do their chores for them. The key to making sure that they understand that nothing is a given is to make them work for what they want. Assign tasks around the home and make sure that they are age-appropriate – you can’t expect a three-year-old to prepare chicken sandwiches for the whole family.
But he or she can help to pick up books and stack them in designated areas. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry has highlighted chores that are suitable for children of different ages.

4. Discipline

It’s also essential to give your children some discipline, which does not mean using a rod every time they err. It implies structure, and it’s up to parents to find their balance.
Free-range parenting, which involves children doing activities at their discretion, works with active parental monitoring. Some parents may prefer to routinise their children. The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention advocates the early setting up of firm boundaries. Whatever your balance is, parental involvement in guiding them with appropriate conduct is necessary.

5. Raise children with an attitude of gratitude

While this seems like a commonsensical suggestion, we often neglect it. Sansone, in this study, recognises the potential links between gratitude and well-being, although they require more research. When children learn to say ‘thank you’ often enough, they’ll start doing so as a reflex action. They will make the expression of gratitude part and parcel of their lives.
Does the above description of a spoiled child sound like your kid? If yes, then you need to do something about it. Kids will throw the occasional tantrum, but an adult determines whether a child remains spoiled. These hints ensure that yours will stay grounded.

 
Michelle Liew.
 

 


About the Author: 

Michelle Liew


Michelle is a freelance writer who loves all things about life. She has a broad range of interests that include literature, history, philosophy, human relationships, and psychology. When she is not busy writing her heart out, you will find her tinkering jazz tunes on her piano. She loves anything that helps her to grow as a person, including her pet terriers, Misty and Cloudy.

COPYRIGHT © 2020 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 21:07
Quinta-feira, 19 / 03 / 20

Persecution Complex: What Causes It and What Are the Symptoms?

Persecution Complex: 

What Causes It and What Are the Symptoms?

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

March 19th, 2020.

 
persecution complex.
 
 
 
Do you sometimes feel that everyone is against you? That the world has it in for you? Or that people are out to get you? You could be suffering from a persecution complex.
 
Those statements might sound pretty outrageous, and to most of us, they are. However, did you know that according to research, at least 10 – 15% of us regularly experience these kinds of delusions?
 
Of course, we all get paranoid thoughts and feelings of persecution occasionally. It’s easy to blame outside forces when things don’t go our way. But for some people, it is a pervasive way of thinking that severely disrupts their life.
 
So what exactly is this complex?
 
What is a persecution complex?
 
This complex arises when a person falsely believes that someone is out to cause them harm. The intensity and longevity of these feelings can differ, as can the object of the paranoia.
 
For example, an employee can believe the whole office staff is against her and deliberately undermining her chances of promotion. Or an individual can think they are being persecuted by government agents who are trying to frame them for crimes they did not commit.
 
Examples of persecution complexes:
My husband is trying to poison me because he has a new lover and wants me out of the way.
  • I know the police are tapping my phones.
  • I have to go to the self-service tills because the shop assistants have been told not to serve me.
  • My neighbours are stealing my washing from the line while I’m at work.
 
In all examples, sufferers believe that either a person, group of people or an organisation is going to cause them harm.
 
Sufferers from a persecution complex will typically talk in vague terms. They will say ‘They’re out to get me’ or ‘Someone’s listening to my calls’. However, when pressed further they are unable to identify the perpetrator.
 
So where does this delusion come from and who is likely to suffer from it?
 
Where does a persecution complex come from?
 
Sufferers share three common aspects in the way they think, feel and then act. To understand this complex further we need to examine three main human behavioural processes:
  1. Emotional processing
  2. Abnormal internal events
 
1. Emotional processing
 
Studies show that those who suffer from this complex tend to think with more emotion when it comes to their social experiences. They view their interactions with others through an emotional lens, rather than a logical one.
 
As a result, sufferers get upset at everyday occurrences and react with more impulsivity. The main problem, however, with viewing everyday incidents through an emotional lens is that a sufferer will attribute greater meaning to non-events.
 
2. Abnormal internal events
 
Emotional processing is just one aspect of a persecution complex. The second is that sufferers misconstrue what is happening to them externally in the environment.
 
In order for them to rationalise what’s going on in their heads, they’ll fixate on something outside of them. For example, a person with anxiety might attribute their anxious state because they believe they are being watched.
 
Or someone who has been ill recently might believe they are being slowly poisoned. In all cases, they attribute their internal thoughts to outside events.
 
3. Reasoning biases
 
Studies have found that persecution complexes are perpetuated by cognitive biases. In other words, sufferers are likely to use biases when they think. For instance, jumping to conclusions, black and white thinking and blaming other people instead of themselves.
 
For example, someone who jumps to conclusions might view the black car that is driving up and down their road as a government spy. Those with normal reasoning might just assume the driver was lost.
 
Who is more likely to suffer?
 
As well as the above three common traits, there are other commonalities that sufferers may share.
 
Childhood trauma – Psychosis and paranoia can be linked to neglect, abuse and trauma in childhood.
 
Genetics – Delusional thinking is more common in those who already have a family member suffering from a psychosis such as schizophrenia.
 
Low self-worth – People with a low sense of self-worth, who are vulnerable to criticism and have little self-esteem are more likely to succumb to paranoid delusions.
 
Overly-critical of themselves – Research has shown that those who are overly critical of themselves can suffer from a persecution complex.
 
Worriers – Those with a persecution complex have a tendency to worry and ruminate more than the average person. They’ll also catastrophize and fantasise about implausible outcomes.
 
Over-sensitive – People with paranoid delusions can appear oversensitive to criticism from others. They are more likely to perceive a light-hearted comment as a personal attack on them.
 
Treatment of a persecution complex
 
Treating this delusion will vary according to the overriding symptoms and underlying causes.
 
For instance:
  • Learning to control the original anxiety can reduce the feelings of persecution.
  • Recognising one’s thought patterns, such as catastrophizing and black and white thinking can increase feelings of paranoia.
  • Learning to reduce time spent worrying will decrease the likelihood of a paranoid episode.
  • Addressing past trauma from childhood can lead to significant reductions in symptoms.
  • Cognitive-behavioural therapy can help sufferers reduce their negative thought patterns.
 
Final thoughts
 
Living with a persecution complex is not only surprisingly common but can be extremely debilitating. However, treatments are available and you can, with professional help, learn to manage the symptoms.
 
 
References:
  1. www.wired.com
  2. www.verywellmind.com


Janey Davies



About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

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publicado por achama às 23:56
Quarta-feira, 04 / 03 / 20

RECOVERED MEMORIES FROM EARLY CHILDHOOD AND PAST LIVES.

RECOVERED MEMORIES FROM EARLY CHILDHOOD AND PAST LIVES.

THE 9D ARCTURIAN COUNCIL

CHANNELED BY DANIEL SCRANTON

March 3rd, 2020.

 
recovered memories from early childhood & past lives - the 9th dimensional arcturian council - channeled by daniel scranton channeler of archangel michael



 
Greetings. 
 
We are the Arcturian Council. We are pleased to connect with all of you.
 
 
We have been exploring the different ways that you have of recovering your lost memories, and we have been noticing how successful those of you who are awake have been at accessing that which has been hidden from your consciousness for quite some time. Of course, the forgetting about all of your previous lifetimes is a key component in giving you the experience that you ultimately want to have when starting a new lifetime. Feeling as though you are doing this for the first time provides you with the opportunity to feel your emotions more deeply, and that is why you forget on purpose when you incarnate.

And then, there are those early years, the formative ones. That is a time period where most of you have recovered very few of your memories, and that is also by design. You become a different person as you grow up. Your vibration is so different from those early, formative years to your teens that you might as well consider your first few years in an incarnation as a previous lifetime. But now that you are awake and recognizing that you have been visited, observed, and even taken by extra-terrestrials, you are starting to understand the significance of these recovered memories from early childhood.

And, of course, once you recognize that you have reincarnated many times on this planet and in other parts of the galaxy, you really want to know what you’ve already done and what you’ve already been. And so, the recovery of those memories can come to you in a variety of ways. When you have a dream that feels very real and hits you very hard emotionally, that’s a time when you know that you have just recovered a memory.

You also recover those memories when you are taken into an altered state or put yourself in an altered state. It is time for you all to trust what you are getting in your third eye. It is time for you to remember, and you don’t need to go on an ayahuasca journey to do so. You don’t need to take anything at all. A desire to know, coupled with a readiness to believe in yourself and your ability to recover those memories is all that is required.

We want you to notice how these recovered memories feel, and recognize that the feeling is the significant part. It’s not about the story. It’s about how the story makes you feel, and that’s how you know the recovered memory is serving you. That’s when you use the information that you gather for the purpose of helping you to expand and evolve your consciousness. And that’s the point where you are on your journey right now. You are ready to do that work, and we are happy to be your cheerleaders.
 
We are the Arcturian Council, and we have enjoyed connecting with you.



Daniel Scranton
 
 
 
 



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Alternatives to YouTube
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 17:36
Domingo, 01 / 03 / 20

How to Raise an Introverted Teenager: 10 Tips for Parents

How to Raise an Introverted Teenager: 

10 Tips for Parents

Michelle Liew 

Contributor writer to Learning Mind.

March 1st, 2019.

 
 
 


 

It’s time for hard facts. This world is an extroverted one, and the outgoing get the most out of it. How does a concerned parent raise an introverted teenager and help them to thrive?
Socialising is an integral part of life as a teen. The teen years are the ones when young people find out about themselves. So if your teens don’t make as many friends as they should, why not give them a hand?
 

Why it’s hard to be an introverted teenager

Being an introvert is a challenge at any age since today’s world focuses so much on speaking out and being outgoing. Nature has wired the introvert’’s brain differently from the extrovert. In particular, the “fight or flight” aspect of their nervous systems is active, as research proves. The tendency puts them at a social and sometimes academic disadvantage.
Experts like Dr. Marti-Olsen Laney, author of The Introvert Advantage, share that an introvert will not feel fulfilled until he or she has alone time. She elaborated further than the dopamine levels at wild parties can overwhelm teenagers who are reserved and stressed that their quiet natures aren’t the result of a lack of social skills. That said, their habits entail that they don’t have as full a circle of friends as their peers.
Apart from having fewer friends, there is the problem of being discounted. Teachers tend to underestimate introverted teens, seeing them as being unable to speak up for themselves or provide adequate responses to questions. The truth is that if you discuss a topic that interests introverted children, you might not get a chance to speak yourself. Sadly, educators often overlook this inclination of theirs.

How do we help the inward-looking teen succeed in life?

Reserved teenagers need a little help with finding success in this outward-looking world. Reaching out to them is a challenge, so you could use a few tips if you are a hassled parent.

1. Encourage them to talk about their feelings

Introverts aren’t masters at discussing their emotions and prefer to keep their innermost thoughts to themselves.  Teens, who are at the most socially awkward stage of life, are even more prone than adults to masks their feelings.
Provide them with an outlet for describing their thoughts and fears. Suggest that they keep a journal or draw if they aren’t comfortable with full disclosure.

2. Avoid labelling your child

Despite what you may believe, introversion is not a sign of social-emotional dysfunction. Introverted teens have different needs from their extroverted peers. Labelling them as “loners’ makes them feel awkward and presses them to believe that they are what you say they are. The best thing parents can do for them is to accept them as they are, quietness and all.

3. Teach your child to seek help

No man is an island, and all of us need help once in a while. Quiet teenagers prefer to solve problems themselves because they feel too embarrassed to ask others to give them a hand.
 
Teach your introverted teenager that there is no shame in asking for help. Doing so is a way for them to interact with others. They will soon discover that collaboration is necessary for progress.

4. Practice creative problem-solving

We can deal with dicey social situations if we think through them. Teenagers who tend to be introverted, however, tend to have more problems dealing with them than their peers. Model tough social situations and get them to suggest how to handle them. You’ll find that introverted teenagers are creative types. They will develop self-confidence, knowing that they thought of these solutions themselves.

5. Have conversations

Introverts may not seem to have the skills to form social relationships at first glance. They may have better-developed ones than their peers.
While they do not like to engage in small talk, they prefer to look a person in the eye and offer their honest opinions. They’re not avoidants but prefer more in-depth conversations. Help them to express themselves by having open, candid talks with them.

6. Respect their social preferences

Introverts are quiet and dislike the limelight. You’ll find them interacting with one or two people instead of a large group. Give your introverted teen a chance to observe crowds before conversing with people. Your child may be more inclined to join them once he has a good idea of how they interact.
Furthermore, don’t pressurise your quiet teens to make friends. Note that they prefer to do so on their terms and keep their friendship circles close-knit. Encourage them to make friends with other introverts.

7. Develop a positive self-image

Many reserved teens have poor self-images because people use negative words like “loner” or “weirdo” to describe them. Accept them as they are and avoid using negative labels such as these.
 
Make an effort to correct others who label them. For instance, if someone says that they are ‘standoffish’, use the word ‘contemplative’ instead.

8. Teach your introverted teen to speak up

Remind your quiet teens that their opinions matter. If their quietness makes them the targets of bullying, teach them to speak to trusted adults. Listen when your children talk and encourage them to verbalise their thoughts. Above all, teach them to assert themselves.

9. Nurture their interests

Your teen may prefer classical music and refuse to listen to rock bands. Find classes that will nurture these interests. Remember that different doesn’t mean strange. Consider enrolling them in computer camps if they have an interest in information technology.

10. Provide new experiences

An introverted teen usually resists new things. Tell them that everyone feels this way. That said, they should be adventurous and develop new ideas. If they still dislike the experience, respect the fact that they at least tried.
Your introverted teenager may not love the things extroverts do but can develop as fully as they can. As a parent, all it takes is to show them the way.
 
 
Michelle Liew.
 

 


About the Author: 

Michelle Liew


Michelle is a freelance writer who loves all things about life. She has a broad range of interests that include literature, history, philosophy, human relationships, and psychology. When she is not busy writing her heart out, you will find her tinkering jazz tunes on her piano. She loves anything that helps her to grow as a person, including her pet terriers, Misty and Cloudy.

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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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publicado por achama às 23:16
Domingo, 16 / 02 / 20

7 Signs of Oldest Child Syndrome and How to Get Over It.

 

7 Signs of Oldest Child Syndrome and How to Get Over It.

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted February 15th, 2020.

 
 

 
 
Being the oldest sibling can be tough. After all, you were the Guinea pig, the one your parents used to learn how to be a parent. I guess that sounds kind of mean but think about it. Unless your parents worked at daycares or one of them babysit other children, when you, the oldest child came along, they were clueless. This started the oldest child syndrome.
 
This issue, although it sounds sad, helps our parents become better at raising you and your siblings.
 
There is a positive and negative side
 
Yes, this issue does have good and bad points since you got all the attention and didn’t have to share toys. But something less attractive may have developed from this place in your family. Being the oldest child sounds like it holds great power, but it can also create problems. So, are you the oldest child?
 
Signs that you have the oldest child syndrome:
 
1. Being an over-achiever
 
Firstborns are often perfectionists. They start to pick up vibes that everyone expects certain things from them. These are just ordinary vibes, but the over-achieving oldest child will put more into the expectations than they should. They want to make you, the parent proud of them and will go to any lengths to do so.
 
This attitude, while strained, can eventually lead to success in their lives. They will excel in their studies and in sports, not stopping until they feel their endeavors lack nothing.
 
2. You get harsher punishments
 
As the oldest child, not only do the parents take more pictures, buy more toys, but they also dish out harsher punishments. Harsher than what, you may ask?
 
The oldest child will endure punishments that years later, younger siblings will not. By the time baby number 2 and 3 arrive, the parents will have grown a bit lenient. It’s so unfair, but that’s just the way it goes, and yes, you have the oldest child syndrome.
 
3. No hand-me-downs
 
Guess what, you might have the syndrome of being the oldest child, but you also have all new clothes too, unless someone outside the family gives you a few things. Otherwise, everything else you wear will be yours first. It will not be until your siblings come along that you will hand these clothes down to them.
 
You feel privileged if you take the time to think about it. Sometimes you may brag a little too much about it.
 
4. Secretly resents the younger siblings
 
The first baby – they always get the first of everything else too. They are cuddled all the time, played with, and get the best bedtime stories. Then suddenly, a new baby arrives, and things start to change.
 
The mother cannot allocate as much time with them as before. She has to dole out the love for two people now. Just wait until there’s a third one. Oh, how the oldest resents the birth of their siblings. The good news is, they usually grow to love them as they get older.
 
5. They’re serious and sometimes solitary
 
The oldest child is serious about most things and also loves to be alone. This is the case before siblings come along and especially afterward. It’s not so much out of anger or depression, it’s just a part of their personality.
 
My oldest son loved being by himself, and only when he entered high school did he make many friends. Maybe he had the oldest child syndrome and maybe not.
 
6. They’re either strong-willed or the opposite
 
The oldest child can have a strong will and be extremely independent. On the other hand, they could also be dependent on everyone, afraid and always trying to please everyone. So, when the second child comes along, the oldest child will either be rebellious or compliant.
 
7. Loves acting as a teacher
 
The oldest child loves the role of teacher to their younger siblings. While it’s good to have an in-house tutor, the oldest child may teach some less-than-savory lessons to his younger sisters or brothers.
 
However, as the older child teaches their siblings different things, when they learn they are wrong, it helps them grow. Too bad it can influence the minds of the younger children.
 
How can the oldest child overcome this syndrome?
 
The way in which your oldest child acts doesn’t have to be a syndrome, but it can. There are positive things that the eldest member of the family can do in order to utilize their child’s abilities.
 
Encourage your oldest child to help with chores without denying playtime. Coax them to learn balance.
 
Make sure you give credit to your child when they have done something good. Since oldest children have perfectionist attitudes, try to notice the little things so they see that yourexpectations are being met in them.
 
Make sure you give privileges. Although your first child will be the one you hover over and try to protect, let them do some things on their own. Set an age where they can do things differently and feel more mature.
 
Don’t forget to spend quality time with each child, especially the oldest. This prevents the eldest child from thinking their time with you has passed.
 
Is it really a syndrome, or just a way of thinking?
 
In reality, I think each child, whether they are oldest, somewhere in the middle, or maybe the youngest of the clan, will have a different set of characteristics. It’s difficult raising children the same. In fact, it’s impossible. You just simply cannot do the same things for the middle of the youngest child, as you’ve done for your oldest child. That’s because, like them, you are growing too – you are growing as a parent.
 
So, if your child is exhibiting signs of oldest child syndrome, don’t be alarmed. Just help them use their quirks and strengths.
 
If you’re an adult still struggling with this, you can still embrace your behavior as your strengths. Adults, take a look at those signs above and ask yourself, “Do I have the oldest child syndrome?” And most importantly, be honest with yourself. Only then can you approach the issue in the right way.
 
So, which child were you? Myself, I am the youngest. I’d love to hear about your place in your familyand your wonderful stories.
 
References:
  1. https://www.everydayhealth.com
  2. https://www.huffpost.com

 
 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 04:23
Terça-feira, 07 / 01 / 20

I Had an Emotionally Unavailable Mother and Here’s What It Felt Like

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

January 7th, 2020.

 
EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE MOTHER.
 

 
 
Want to know what it feels like to be raised by an emotionally unavailable mother? Let me tell you my story.
 
Whenever someone asks me about my mother, I say ‘She died when I was young’. When they reply that they are so sorry, I always say ‘It doesn’t matter, she was an evil cow and I didn’t love her anyway. Most people are shocked.
 
Are you? If you are – why? You didn’t know her. You didn’t know what she was like. What it was like growing up with her. And before you say ‘Well yes that’s all very well, but she was your mother’, so what? Tell me what law or unwritten rule stipulates that I have to love my mother? There is none.
 
You might think it is disrespectful to talk the way I do. But those among you who have experienced an emotionally unavailable mother will understand my point of view. And believe me when I tell you that I tried my very hardest to love her.
 
What Is an Emotionally Unavailable Mother?
 
‘Emotionally unavailable mother’ to me is just a fancy psychological way of saying cold-hearted and unfeeling. But what is the difference between a mother who struggles sometimes to show her love and one that is emotionally unavailable? I can only tell you my story and it may appear cold and matter-of-fact.
 
But what if your mother never cuddled you or told you she loved you? Or actually even spoke to you that much? What if your mother used you as a means to earn money and her own personal housekeeper? How would you feel if she was abusive to your siblings and cold towards you? Perhaps then you might understand a little of how I feel.
 
So let me tell you a few stories about dear old mum. Maybe you’ll get where I’m coming from. Or perhaps you’ll think I’m being a total snowflake and I should just get over myself and stop blaming her for everything.
 
What It Feels Like to Have an Emotionally Unavailable Mother
 
No loving touch
 
I remember being very little, probably around 4 or 5 and craving my mother’s touch. She never touched me ever. Not a hug, a cuddle, nothing.
 
But she did do one thing and that was to come into my and my sisters’ bedrooms after a night out drinking and check we were all in bed. If our bedsheets were tangled, she would straighten them out.
 
This was an opportunity for me to receive a touch from my mother as sometimes if my arm was hanging out of the bed, she would put it back under the sheets. Imagine being this starved of a mother’s touch that you engineer a scenario where she might come into contact with you? And at that young age?
 
No response
 
Again, when I was young, I could write so I guess I was around the age of 5-6, I would leave little notes to my mother. The notes would say things like ‘I love you so much mum’ and ‘You are the best mum in the world’.
 
I would leave these love notes to my mother on her pillow on her bed so she would see them before she went to sleep. She never mentioned them. I would excitably go to bed and look under my pillow to see what she had left for me. After a few weeks, I stopped writing them.
 
Ignored wishes
 
I passed my 12+ which meant I could go to a local grammar school. There were two choices; an all-girls one which had a very posh reputation (not me at all, we lived on a council estate) or a local mixed grammar where all my friends were going.
 
Mother decided I was to attend the all-girls school. Despite my protests, she told me ‘It would look better on my CV later’ when I applied for jobs. Ironically, I wasn’t allowed to carry on and study for A-Levels. I had to work at the factory job she had found for me when I was 16 to help pay the household bills.
 
Can’t confide with your mother
 
I had a very bad time at grammar school. I didn’t know anyone. There were cliques of girls who had known one another from middle school and were quite happy to stay in their own little groups.
 
It got so bad that I ran away twice and went home. Each time my mother took me back to the school, no questions asked. The school did try to help but as far as mother was concerned I was to ‘get on with it’. I contemplated ending it all but got through it.
 
Some years later, mother and I were arguing and she had said she’d always done her best for me. I shouted back that because she’d sent me to that school I’d tried to top myself. I ran upstairs to my bedroom. She followed and for the first time in my life, she put her arm around me. It felt so odd and strange I felt physically sick and had to move away.
 
The Impact of Having a Mother Who Was Emotionally Unavailable
 
So that’s a little of my pity party story. There’s much more but a lot involves other people and that is their story to tell. So how am I affected and what do I do about it?
 
Well, I never wanted children. I don’t have a maternal bone in me. I am shown pictures of babies and I don’t get it. I don’t feel this flush of warmth or emotion. But show me a puppy or an animal in pain or distress and I am weeping like a baby. I think I feel emotionally attached to animals more because they have no voice. They can’t tell you what is wrong. I felt the same way during childhood.
 
I have a cold heart. I always say I have a heart of stone. Nothing touches it. I’ve formed this hard barrier around it so nothing will crack it. This is a survival technique I learned as a child. Don’t let anyone in and you won’t be hurt.
 
A late boyfriend of mine used to say to me ‘You are a hard nut to crack’ and I never knew what he meant but now I do. He also said that I was either clingy of hostile. This is also true. You are either everything to me or you are nothing.
 
As a child, I had an avoidant attachment style. I had spent a long time trying to get my mother’s attention. Having failed I shut down and become ambivalent about her. As an adult, this has transformed into a dismissive-avoidant style where I keep myself to myself. I avoid contact with others and keep emotions at arm’s length.
 
Despite the former tirade, I don’t blame my mother for anything.
 
In fact, I am thankful she had me. It was the 60s, she was out of wedlock and she could easily have not have done so.
 
I remind myself that I am not my mother. I understand the weaknesses of my upbringing and that allows me to cope with life as an adult.
 
Then, I have a tendency to shut myself away from people and have to try hard to socialise. The saying ‘better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all’ doesn’t apply to me. If there is a chance of losing love I won’t love in the first place.
 
I know why I have to be the centre of attention when I am in company. It is because I craved it as a child and never got it. Likewise, I like to shock people and see their reaction. This goes directly back to my mother. I would intentionally shock her when I was a teen. Just to try and get something out of her.
 
Final Thoughts
 
I think that we need to remember that emotional neglect from an unavailable mother can be as damaging as abuse and physical neglect. However, understanding how any kind of neglect has affected you is key to moving forward.

 

 
Janey Davies

 





About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

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publicado por achama às 17:23
Terça-feira, 07 / 01 / 20

What Is the Meaning of a Baby in a Dream? 26 Different Scenarios

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

January 7th, 2020.

 
MEANING OF A BABY IN A DREAM.
 

 

Do you ever have a dream about a baby and wonder what it means? Whether you already have children, you want them or you are currently pregnant, most of us will experience the odd baby dream. But what is the meaning behind a baby in a dream?

 
What Babies Represent in Dreams and Real Life
 
Of course, as with all dreams, it’s about the context. In dreams, babies represent innocence and purity, but they can also symbolise immaturity and childishness.
 
A baby in real life is the epitome of our most basic and endearing love for another human being. However, babies also denote neediness. They demand our attention. Knowing which particular meaning your baby is suggesting in your dream isn’t easy. That’s why we’re here. To decipher each scenario and provide you with an answer.
 
There are many different scenarios in which you can encounter a baby in your dreams and each one will have a different meaning. So if you want to know what the baby in your dream means, read on.
 
26 Different Scenarios of a Baby in a Dream and the Meaning of Each
You are having a baby:
 
If you are not pregnant, this is a dream of new beginnings. You are starting a new phase in your life and feel as if it is a rebirth.
 
Baby boy:
 
This is an indication of masculine qualities, so think about the males in your life. Are there problems with a particular man at present? Consider how the male baby was acting. Was it being aggressive? Was it being playful? The significance is how the baby was acting and how you felt towards it.
 
Baby girl:
 
This represents feminine energy. Is there a powerful female in your life that is exerting control over you? If so, it is time to challenge that person. Naturally, the female baby can also represent you. If you are a woman, are you neglecting your feminine attributes? Or do you feel they are being suppressed for some reason?
 
Twin babies:
 
This is a very auspicious sign and is associated with great success. You will achieve promotions at work, climb the ladder at a faster pace than others (two steps at a time).
 
Lots of babies:
 
Lots of babies indicates a great exuberance for life. You have this enormous energy and lust for what you are doing right now. Your dream is telling you that you’re on the right path.
 
Mixed-race baby:
 
If the mixed-race baby was your own, you will succeed in your endeavours. To see a baby of a different race to your own indicates either great triumphs or great failures, there will be no in-between.
 
If you gave birth to a baby of a different race to your own, you will achieve successes beyond your wildest dreams. To have a white baby when you are of a different race means you will live an independent life.
 
Changing a baby’s nappy:
 
You need to take care of someone close to you. Perhaps someone is unwell and you can’t easily get to them.
 
Deceased baby:
 
Although terribly traumatic to dream about, the meaning of a dead baby is a symptom of stress in our real lives. So all it is suggesting is that we are already stressed and this is our subconscious letting us know that we are not coping well with it.
 
Happy baby:
 
This is an indication of all the good and pure things in you. You might have forgotten what a good person you are. It is time to remember.
 
Pretty baby:
 
 
Friends will help you through some tough times ahead. It is time to let them assist you. Don’t feel that you can or should go it alone. You don’t need to. You have all the support you need around you. All you need to do is to ask.
 
Ugly baby:
 
Watch out for treacherous behaviour close to you. There are friends or colleagues who don’t have your best interests at heart. You yourself don’t trust people. You don’t believe people are innocent or naïve.
 
Sick baby:
 
This is a warning of difficulties ahead in work or affairs of the heart. Be kind to yourself. Eat healthy food, get enough sleep, take time out to relax and do the things you enjoy. Try not to overwork. Make sure you spend quality time with loved ones. Put yourself first for a change.
 
Premature baby:
 
You’ll experience new and sudden problems without notice. You’ll need to be on your guard and to expect the unexpected at all times. Act on your gut instinct and listen to what it is telling you.
 
Walking baby:
 
You will suddenly experience great independence from your current situation. Be prepared to make great strides on your own; you are ready. This is the time to be brave and adventurous.
 
Crying baby:
 
You are lacking the attention you crave. This could be in a personal relationship or at work. Are you being taken for granted at home? Are your efforts at work being ignored?
 
Another meaning behind seeing a crying baby is that you are not realising your full potential. So the baby is pointing to you, reprimanding you for neglecting and not paying attention to your talents.
 
Evil baby:
 
If you saw a baby from The Omen in your dream, this represents the suppressed anger and dark side of your character you don’t want other people to see.
 
You might think that you need to keep this dark side of your psyche hidden, but it has a way of coming to the surface. If you work at resolving your inner feeling in a constructive way, you can be in control of how they come out.
 
Very tiny baby:
 
To dream about a very tiny baby means you are afraid of what the future holds for you.
 
Lost baby:
 
 
If you dreamt you lost your own baby, this is connected to your own fear as a new parent. You feel overwhelmed at the responsibility of becoming a new parent. If the baby lost was not your own, you are afraid of losing something very important in your life.
 
You forgot you had a baby:
 
This dream is an indication that you are trying very hard to hide your weaknesses from others. Or that you don’t want people close to you to know your deepest secrets.
 
Sleeping baby:
 
You are happy and contented in your real life. You have accomplished your goals and are in a good place, both at work and in your relationships.
 
Forgetting the baby:
 
If you forgot where you left your baby and it worried you, this signifies unhappiness with your career. You feel frustrated about an issue at work that doesn’t seem to be getting resolved.
 
Left the baby behind:
 
However, if you left the baby somewhere and you weren’t really that bothered, this indicates you have power over others. Or that you are trying to shift your responsibility onto someone else.
 
Falling baby:
 
The meaning of this baby dream is a warning to step away from conflict in your life. In the past, your reckless behaviour has led you into difficult situations.
 
Drowning baby:
 
This dream can be very distressing. In fact, the meaning behind is feeling overwhelmed at work. Ask for help before you become too ill to carry on.
 
You are holding a baby:
 
The meaning of this baby dream is clear; you miss a period of your life when you had no responsibilities. Perhaps your childhood or teenage years when you were looked after by your parents.
 
You are a baby:
 
This dream signifies a desire to return to an age of innocence where everything was easy and simple. Or a dream where you are a baby could mean you are suppressing a traumatic event that happened as a child.
 
Final Thoughts
 
Interpreting dreams about babies all depends on the situation and context of the dream. We hope we have covered the majority of these. Do you have an interesting dream about babies you’d like to share? We’d love to hear from you!

 
References:
  1. www.bustle.com
  2. www.webmd.com
 

 
Janey Davies

 





About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

Archives:

 


 
A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
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publicado por achama às 17:21
Sábado, 14 / 12 / 19

10 Signs of Unresolved Trauma from Your Childhood and How to Deal with It

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted December 12th, 2019.

 
Unresolved Trauma Childhood.

 
 
Dealing with unresolved trauma isn’t as simple as trying to be more positive. This kind of trauma goes deep with its roots.
 
I seem to always be talking about trauma, abuse or some other unresolved issues. By now, you’d think I’d been cured of all my problems, but I’m not. My traumas run deep, and for a couple of stages of my life, I pushed them back, repressing what happened to me.
 
This isn’t healthy, but it’s a common defense system when you’ve gone through trauma. This could be what your loved ones are feeling and more.
 
Life-lasting effects of childhood trauma
 
When we experience traumatic things during childhood, some of us think it’s a part of the normal process of life. When I was abused, I actually thought it was supposed to happen, that is until I grew old enough to know the difference.
 
Unresolved issues concerning trauma don’t rear their ugly heads until we’re older, as with my situation, so we learn so much as we grow. Not everything we learn is positive. If someone you love has repressed childhood trauma, there are signs you can see and some just waiting beneath the surface.
 
As unresolved childhood trauma can affect the future, it’s best to find solutions to at least some of these issues.
 
10 ways to recognize unresolved trauma in your loved ones
 
1. You have no joy
 
If your friend’s childhood trauma has not been resolved, then they’ll have a difficult time feeling joy. Things that should make them look forward to tomorrow will have them dreading it instead.
 
Your friend may be able to feel a form of joy, however, or even be able to feed off some of the joy of others, but they will not have the pure joy of their own which comes from true happiness.
 
2. Trust issues
 
I can personally attest that I do not trust many people. And yes, I do have some unresolved issues from my childhood trauma. Trust is hard to have when your trust was broken in abuse. Whether your loved one was neglected or beaten, they saw people as bad and they lost trust in them.
 
If someone you love has trust issues, there could have been some terrible trauma in their past.
 
3. Nightmares
 
Boy, I must have many unresolved issues from my past traumas because I have nightmares or weird dreams every night. Yes, having nightmares on a regular basis could be a sign that your boyfriend or girlfriend has things from childhood that they haven’t faced. This could be any sort of abuse or neglect. Since these roots run deep, the nightmares are probably filled with vivid detail.
 
Sometimes they can be so disturbing they ruin sleep completely, leaving the one you love sweating and gasping for breath. To be honest, I had a nightmare so terrible one time that I woke screaming. So yeah, those bad dreams, they could very well be telling you something important about your loved one’s past.
 
4. Self-harm
 
Cutters aren’t just kids, well teens. Some adults resort to self-harm or self-mutilation. Adults, however, don’t always cut. Sometimes, they starve themselves, scratch sores on their skin or even pull out their hair.
 
These signs could be medical conditions as well, but you might want to do a bit of research into the past. Try to find out if these acts of self-violence come from negative childhood events. They could.
 
5. Extreme anger
 
Many times, those who have anger problems are either dealing with something extremely stressful now, or they could be exhibiting a release from the trauma of the past.
 
Unresolved trauma from the past builds and builds anger during our lifetime, even if we push it back and try to forget. It still festers until the trauma is faced. This extreme anger can damage others as well as actually affect health and shorten the lifespan. It can surely be one of the signs that something happened long ago.
 
6. Fears
 
Have you ever noticed someone get suddenly afraid for no logical reason? That’s because something has triggered that response.
 
 
When there are unresolved issues from the past, this fear will surface many times, and in strange situations. There may not seem like anything could possibly go wrong, but previous victims can still have fear.
 
7. Panic attacks
 
Whether your friend has an anxiety disorder or not, panic attacks can be a sure sign that there are unresolved issues. Panic attacks do happen randomly, but they are also triggered by something that reminds them of their childhood.
 
Panic attacks cause increased heart rate, hyperventilating, and other symptoms. Watch for these symptoms.
 
8. Avoiding people
 
It’s okay to be an introvert, but avoiding people all the time, and sometimes rarely leaving your home is just not normal. Something is going on that needs to be addressed.
 
This behavior could be the result of something traumatic that happened in childhood. If someone can’t be around people, then people cannot help them. They can even start to experience dissociation episodes as well.
 
9. Hypervigilance
 
Hypervigilance is always being on guard no matter how safe the surroundings may be. If your loved one wakes up expecting something negative is going to happen, and they go throughout the day thinking the same thing, they will remain in that fight or flight syndrome. This elevated state of being can be damaging to their health.
10. Addictions
 
Another sign of unresolved trauma is falling into addictive behavior. Everyone knows about addiction to alcohol and drugs, but there are many other things that can become an addiction.
 
 
If your loved one’s childhood was traumatic, they probably think about it more than they should. Sometimes these thoughts are just too hard to handle, and some turn to various addictions.
 
Unresolved issues from your childhood can be addressed
 
When you’re dealing with friends and loved ones who have unresolved pain and heartache from their childhood, you have to be careful and considerate. It might take you a while to understand what’s going on, and you may make mistakes when trying to help them, but it’s okay.
 
The best way to deal with unresolved and painful childhood trauma is to follow a few steps.
 
Talk to your loved one. Learn about what happened if they are willing to open up to you.
 
If there are unresolved issues, work together to figure out how to solve those issues. If you can’t help, seek the help of a professional who has a better understanding of unresolved childhood trauma.
 
Don’t be judgemental and never tell them how someone else easily healed from trauma. That can make them feel even worse.
 
Be a friend. Be a true friend, and coax them to do anything positive that you can.
 
Be as kind as possible, and don’t do anything extra that makes them even more hyper-vigilant. Learn their triggers and avoid them.
 
Slowly and carefully help them get used to a few people at a time.
 
 
Any trauma can be resolved with the right help
 
I’ve provided a few ways to help people who suffer from negative events from childhood. The most important part of this healing is getting to the root of what happened. That’s why you do the first tip from above and open up a dialogue with them.
 
If you feel like you don’t understand what they’re going through, get educated. After all, helping each other and learning how to do that is extremely important.
 
Remember, those who’ve suffered need hope. So, let’s help them keep it.



Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



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With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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publicado por achama às 03:24
Domingo, 10 / 11 / 19

7 Famous Fairy Tales That Are Based on Gruesome True Life Stories

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

November 7th, 2019.

 
famous fairy tales real stories.
 
 

 

What is it about fairy tales that captivate the imaginations of children? Could it be that underneath the thin veneer of fiction lies a much darker truth to the tales? Did you know that the most famous fairy tales are based on gruesome real-life stories? Here are just a few:
 
Famous Fairy Tales and the Creepy Real Stories Behind Them
Bluebeard
 
I loved this fairy tale as a child. So much so that I would beg my sister to read it to me every night before bed. I knew it off by heart and sometimes she would try and skip a line or two. Whenever she did, I would tell her off.
 
The story is pretty awful as a famous fairy tale in its own right. A king named Bluebeard marries a beautiful young princess and takes her to his magnificent castle. He gives her the keys to all the rooms in the castle but tells her not to open the last door in an underground chamber.
 
He then goes off hunting and of course, naturally inquisitive, the young queen goes down to the room and opens the door. Here she finds blood everywhere and the king’s previous wives, murdered and hanging on hooks.
 
Horrified she drops the key in the blood and tries to wash it off. But the blood won’t come off. Will she face the same fate? Luckily, her brother races to her rescue in time to kill Bluebeard.
 
This famous fairy tale is based on two real-life characters. Conomor the Cursed is a savage 6th-century ruler in Breton. This Breton chief had been warned that one of his sons would end up killing him. As a result, he pre-empts this by killing all of his pregnant wives.
 
However, his last wife, Tryphine, is also warned by the ghosts of the murdered wives. She flees but he finds her and beheads her. Miraculously, a sacred monk brings her back to life and when they return to Conomor’s castle the walls collapse around him.
 
The second character is the 15th-century nobleman and notorious serial killer Gilles de Rais. This man earned a formidable reputation fighting alongside Joan of Arc. Yet, in his private life, he murdered children.
 
He was given the nickname of Bluebeard because of the peculiar way his horse’s mane looked blue in the daytime. Gilles de Rais is one of the world’s most evil psychopaths.
 
Hansel and Gretel
 
 
 
 
This is one of those fairy tales that is famous because the story resonates with children today. It tells of a poor woodcutter and his second wife. She is the stepmother to his children – Hansel and Gretel.
 
As food becomes scarce, the stepmother decides there is not enough food for the children. So she persuades the woodcutter to take the children deep into the forest where they won’t be able to find their way home.
 
They come across a witches’ house made of gingerbread. Eventually, they get the better of the witch and return home with the spoils of her house.
 
The story is set during the Great Famine of 1315. Many people starved to death during this time. Acts of extreme cruelty, such as infanticide and cannibalism, took place as people became more desperate. The situation for some families became so wretched that they left their children to fend for themselves.
 
The gingerbread house part of the story comes from a highly profitable baker called Katharina Schraderin. She became legendary in the 1600s thanks to her gingerbread cookies, which everyone wanted. One male baker was so determined to get her recipe he accused her of being a witch.
 
As a result, she was hounded and driven out of the town. But, then in an awful twist, her neighbours brought her back and burned her to death in one of her baking ovens.
 
 
 
Cinderella
 
Cinderella is every young girl’s dream, right? Well, perhaps not mine, as you’ve already heard, I was getting a taste for psychopaths and sociopaths.
 
Everyone knows in this famous fairy tale that Cinders has a tough life. She has to do all the chores, look after her evil stepsisters, and might miss out on the Ball. But, it all comes good in the end. She gets the gorgeous frock, she arrives in a splendid carriage and meets Prince Charming. Furthermore, the story has a happy ending.
 
However, the real-life tale is not so pretty and there’s no happy ever after for Cinders. The story is based around a slave girl in ancient Greece, around 500BC. Rhodopis was a beautiful young Greek woman. At a young age, she was taken from her home in Greece and forced into slavery.
 
Rhodopis was exquisitely beautiful and men lusted after her. As such, she became a prized possession and men showered her with expensive gifts. One of these gifts was a pair of golden shoes.
 
Pharaoh Ahmose II saw the shoes and Rhodopis and wanted her for himself. Although strictly she was not of royal blood, he married her. Her life was to be a ready and willing sex slave to the pharaoh.
 
Beauty and the Beast
 
This is one of those famous fairy tales that you wouldn’t expect to have a real story behind it. But it does.
 
In 1537, a young boy aged 10 called Gonsalvus, was taken from his home in Spain to the Royal French court. Here he was ordered to entertain the King of France. Why? Because he suffered from a condition called hypertrichosis. This causes someone to grow hair all over their body. It is called ‘werewolf syndrome’.
 
The king was enamoured with his little ‘beast’. He educated him and he became a nobleman. When the king died, his wife found the beast a wife. Despite his looks, the pair did fall in love. They had seven children (all of whom also suffered from hypertrichosis) and were married for 40 years.
 
Rapunzel
 
‘Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your golden hair!’ I remember this story from my childhood. I kept thinking, why is she waiting for someone to come and rescue her? But the real-life story behind this fairy tale might explain it.
 
As unusual, we have the beautiful protagonist, this time it is an auburn-haired girl living in the 3rd century. Her overbearing father was a wealthy merchant who travelled abroad all the time. No man was good enough for his daughter so when he went off on his travels he locked her up in a tower.
 
It was during these times in the tower that she turned to Christianity to help her through the loneliness. Her praying was so loud the whole town could hear her. The rich merchant was a pagan. Her Christian prayers so angered him that he forced her to stand trial before a Roman consul to give up her religion.
 
The consul demanded the merchant give up his wealth or behead his daughter, should she refuse her Christianity. As she refused, and the merchant would not forfeit the fortune he amassed, he did behead her.
 
However, he was killed by a random lightning bolt shortly afterwards. The daughter was martyred and became Saint Barbara.
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
 
This famous fairy tale has a happy ending. Snow White is hunted by an evil queen who wants to kill her. Seven dwarfs rescue and befriend her. However, the reality is much different and far more gruesome.
 
The story starts in the 16th century in Bavaria. It centres on a young noblewoman called Margarete von Waldeck. Margarete’s brother employs small children to labour in his copper mine. But because of the crippling conditions, the children become dreadfully deformed. The locals begin calling them dwarves to mock them.
 
Now, if this wasn’t bad enough, Margarete was exceptionally beautiful. As such, her stepmother resented her and wanted her out of the picture. She packed her off to Brussels to get rid of her.
 
Here, Margarete began a lustful affair with Prince Philip II of Spain. However, his father, the King of Spain vehemently disagreed with the romance. He organised a plot to kill Margarete. She was poisoned shortly afterwards.
 
The Pied Piper of Hamelin
 
 
 
A pied piper in Hamelin was known for his ability to play hypnotic music and charm certain animals. So, in 1264, the villagers asked him to play his pipe and get rid of all the rats plaguing the area. They promised him a hefty fee for his troubles. Of course, the piper agreed and played his pipe. Soon all the rats followed him to their death.
 
He went back to the villagers who reneged on the deal. Angry and bitter at them, he went out once again to play his pipe. But, this time, it was the children that fell entranced to his hypnotic tune. They followed the piper and were never seen again.
 
The Dark Truth Behind Famous Fairy Tales
 
Most famous fairy tales have a happy ending. The real-life stories behind some of these show that the truth is far from happy ever after.
 
References:
 
Janey Davies
 


About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

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publicado por achama às 22:44
Sexta-feira, 08 / 11 / 19

The Science of Sensation-Seeking: Why Some People Love Risky and Scary Stuff

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

November 7th, 2019.

 
sensation-seeking.
 
 


Are you the sort of person that loves horror films? Or do you hide behind a cushion at the scary parts? Psychologists call the behaviour of people who love scary movies sensation-seeking. But what draws some of us to risky and scary stuff and not others?
 
The Science of Sensation-Seeking
 
I remember I have always loved scary movies. From a young age, I would beg my parents to let me stay up late to watch Dracula films or the old Hammer House of Horror movies. There was one in particular – The Abominable Dr Phibes – starring the Prince of Horror – Vincent Price, which absolutely terrified me.
 
In the film, Dr Phibes used various tortuous means to kill off his enemies. In one, he drilled a hole in the ceiling of the bedroom of a drugged victim, poured honey through the hole and then let locusts loose to devour her face.
 
That night, I slept with a blanket over my head. In another gruesome scene, he attended a masked ball. He fixed a frog mask so that when it snapped shut it continued to keep closing, eventually snapping the neck of the victim.
 
I was around 10 when I watched these films. Despite pleading with mum and dad and them giving in, I would have dreadful nightmares after watching scary films. Every night, I would beg to watch another horror film.
 
One night, I was absolutely terrified so I kept the light on and played music all night. But still, I kept watching.
 
So, can science explain this morbid fascination with my constant needing to frighten myself? Well, yes. Psychologists call it sensation-seeking. Furthermore, there are two ways people become sensation seekers, nature and nurture.
 
Some people are born with a lower fear threshold
 
Fear comes from the most reptilian area in our brain – the amygdala. This is the oldest part that triggers the automatic fight or flight response. When this happens, our heart beats faster, adrenaline courses through our bodies, and our breathing becomes rapid and shallow.
 
Now, for some of us, these symptoms are excruciating. In fact, just one episode of a fight or flight response or panic attack can lead to a lifelong phobia.
 
However, other people are not affected. You could say that they have a higher tolerance for fear. As a result, they tend to seek out sensations that cause these feelings in their bodies. So people that favour extreme sports like sky diving or bungee jumping are seeking these extreme fear sensations to get the same effect normal people do.
 
Can you experience fear and pleasure at the same time?
 
The ‘nature’ answer would explain why it is possible for some people to experience positive and negative emotions at the same time.
 
Initially, experts believed that some people enjoy feeling scared because of the relief at the end. As humans, we are programmed to seek out pleasure and avoid pain at any cost. As such, it is not feasible for us to experience a negative experience as a positive one.
 
But studies show that sensations seekers are ‘happy to be unhappy’. It all depends on the situation. For example, if we feel safe enough, i.e. watching a film, or riding a roller-coaster, we can relax and revel in the horror.
 
“When individuals who typically choose to avoid the stimuli were embedded in a protective frame of mind, such that there was sufficient psychological disengagement or detachment, they experienced positive feelings while still experiencing fearfulness.” Study authors – Eduardo B. Andrade and Joel B. Cohen
 
Sensation-seekers are not psychopaths
 
This detachment is very important. Before all you non-sensation-seeking folks start labelling us as psychopaths, let me tell you about one interesting study.
 
This study (McCauley, et al, 1994) conducted research on disgust. Real-life documentaries depicting actual horrors were shown to college students. In graphic detail, cows were stunned, killed and slaughtered. A live monkey’s head was struck with a hammer and its brain offered up as a meal. The final video showed the facial skin of child peeled back for surgery. 90% of the students turned off the video before it had finished.
 
Yet, these same individuals would pay good money to watch a gory horror film with much more horror and violence than depicted on the videos. The researchers concluded that the students knew the films were fiction.
 
Therefore, they had a psychological barrier between the horror action and themselves. The fiction allowed them a distance. As a result, they are detached and in control. And it is this sense of fiction that gives us the freedom to seek this sensation of fear.
 
“In fact, there is evidence that young viewers who perceive greater realism in horror films are more negatively affected by their exposure to horror films than viewers who perceive the film as unreal (Hoekstra, Harris, & Helmick, 1999).”
 
Some people learn to seek out fear
 
So that’s the nature explanation, but what about nurture? Can we learn sensation-seeking behaviour? Experts think we can, and I can relate to this.
 
Growing up, I didn’t have a great relationship with my mother. She was cold and distant throughout my childhood. But, the one thing she loved was horror films. Perhaps something in me, even at a young age, knew that I could bond with her if we watched them together. Even though they scared me to death, watching them together did create a sense of closeness.
 
“I once had a client who shared with me that when they were young they used to watch scary movies alongside their mother, and this made them feel safe and that sometimes they even laughed together at the scary scenes,” Kelley Hopkins-Alvarez, a licensed professional counsellor.
 
Studies show it is how you feel afterwards is important. For example, if you watch a scary film with friends and then laugh about it, then that is what you take away from the experience. Not the scary parts of the movie. You’ll remember the friendship parts.
 
This is because our bodies remain in a heightened aroused state. As a result, emotions are intensified. Our friendships seem more intense. Consequently, our experiences after the scary event are cemented in our brains as positive.
 
On the other hand, if our experiences are negative, we will associate this negative feeling with the scary film.
 
Final Thoughts
 
People like to watch scary films for many different reasons. Sometimes we just like what we like and there’s no explanation. For me, it taps into my fascination with the dark triad and evil people. All I know that I will always be a fan of the horror film. And the scarier, the better!
 
References:
 
Janey Davies
 


About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

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publicado por achama às 02:25
Quinta-feira, 16 / 05 / 19

4 Ways Social Conditioning Secretly Affects Your Behaviors and Decisions ~ Janey Davies.

4 Ways Social Conditioning Secretly Affects Your Behaviors and Decisions.

By Janey Davies.

May 15th, 2019.

 
 
 
 
 

 



 

We all like to think we have free will and make our own decisions in life, but in actual fact, we are programmed at an early age by social conditioning.
Social conditioning is a set of rules and behavior dictated to us by society. It’s very easy to see how we as individuals can be conditioned in this way.
No one wants to stand out when they are younger. We all want to fit in. If you are different, you are bullied, ridiculed and ostracised from popular groups.
We soon learn to fall in line with whatever everyone is doing, saying, wearing, wanting, even believing. So how does it start and who conditions us?
“The things you read will fashion you by slowly conditioning your mind.” A.W. Tozer
The thing is, this kind of conditioning begins as soon as we are born. Parents immediately reinforce gender differences. Parents tell girls to behave in a quiet and polite manner and boys must not cry.
Teachers take on the baton and steer boys towards scientific subjects such as maths and physics. On the other hand, girls are pushed to creative topics. Our newly qualified graduates head out into the workplace.
Adverts bombard them with messages on what to wear, what to look like and who they should like. This constant drip-feeding of nudging and reinforcing the right responses actually affects our behavior without us really knowing.

Examples of conditioning by society:

  • Models have to be thin in the fashion industry.
  • Pink for a girl, blue for a boy.
  • Nurses are female.
  • Money buys you happiness.
  • We have to get our protein from meat.

So how does social conditioning affect our behavior?

Language

Language instantly jolts our unconscious mind. For instance, what do you immediately think of when you read the word immigrants?
For some people, their initial thoughts might center on closing the borders, the country is full up, a lack of resources, or there’s too many of them for us to cope with.
For others, the word immigrants may suggest qualified doctors and nurses, ex-pats living abroad, EU nationals, foreign students, or NHS workers.
Depending on the type of media you watch or read will color your view of immigrants. For example, typically, right-wing media depicts most immigrants in a negative light.

People

The homeless; responsible for their own fate or in need of help from society? Some people have very strong ideas about how you can end up living on the streets. They think that it would never happen to them and, therefore, it must be the fault of the homeless person.
How did they come up with that belief? Were their parents particularly critical of homeless people? Statistically, we are all three pay cheques away from losing our homes and ending up with nowhere to live. It could happen to many of us, so why do some believe it is purely down to the individual and not the situation?
Society has been telling us for decades that hard work and effort are all we need to succeed in life. So it’s easy for us to blame the person rather than the longstanding message that everyone else believes and follows.

Religion

You cannot mention conditioning of any kind, social or otherwise, without talking about religion. I’m guessing that whatever religion you belong to or believe in as an adult, you learned about it when you were a child.
When we are children, we believe what our parents and teachers tell us. Because we are so young when this information is first absorbed, it is extremely difficult to dismiss it as incorrect when we are older.
You see similar examples with the retelling of major war battles in history lessons. Countries will favor their side of the story when it comes to educating children on the exploits of battle outcomes and actions of generals, even prime ministers.
Whole nations are outraged decades later when their respected war heroes are then revealed to be less than perfect.

Social Media

Does the life you present on social media have any resemblance to the life you actually lead? The selfies you have carefully crafted, spending hours choosing just the right one that shows you at your best.
Or deliberating over a post that isn’t too self-righteous but shows how devastated you are over the latest world tragedy (after all, it does affect you personally).
We are conditioned now to look our best, say the right things and at least appear to be loving life like never before. However, in reality, more and more men are committing suicide, teenagers are being bullied to death and children as young as 6 are worried they are too fat.
Social media is a portal into our lives, but we are faking this insight because the life we are leading doesn’t live up to social expectations.

So what can you do to break free from conditioning?

  • Don’t be afraid to question or confront people about their behavior.
  • If you see something you don’t agree with – say so.
  • Don’t surround yourself with like-minded people. You’ll only reinforce your own views.
  • Watch media from different sources. If you only ever read one newspaper, switch to another.
  • Do your own thing! Live by your own rules. So what if you don’t earn a lot of money? Do what makes you happy!
  • Finally, recognize when your behaviors or beliefs are a result of social conditioning and work to change them.
As the Indian teacher of meditation S. N. Goenka advises:
“Removing old conditionings from the mind and training the mind to be more equaimous with every experience is the first step toward enabling one to experience true happiness.”
References:
  1. https://www.academia.edu

 

 

About the Author: Janey Davies.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 08:23
Quinta-feira, 09 / 05 / 19

25 Profound Little Prince Quotes Every Deep Thinker Will Appreciate ~ Kirstie Pursey.

25 Profound Little Prince Quotes Every Deep Thinker Will Appreciate.

By Kirstie Pursey

May 7th, 2019. 

 
The Little Prince, by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, is a children’s story with some very profound meanings and some quotes that will really make you think.
 

I have to admit that I never read the Little Prince as a child.

I think I wouldn’t have known what to make of it if I did. Even reading it as an adult I didn’t know what to make of it!
However, it is clear that The Little Prince touches on some very deep themes about the nature of life, love, friendship and more. The following Little Prince quotes show just how many philosophical themes are discussed in this small, but profound work.
The story tells of a pilot who crashes into the Sahara desert. He is attempting to fix his damaged plane when a little boy appears as if from nowhere and demands that he draws him a sheep. Thus begins a strange, enigmatic friendship that is both heartwarming and heartbreaking.
The Little Prince, it turns out, comes from a small asteroid where he is the only living being apart from a rather demanding rose bush. The Little Prince decides to leave his home and visit other planets to find knowledge.
The story tells of these encounters with rulers of strange worlds and de Saint-Exupéry has opportunities to demonstrate some philosophical themes that will make readers think.
On earth, as well as meeting the pilot, The Little price meets a Fox and  Snake. The fox helps him to truly understand the rose and the snake offers him a way to return to his home planet.
But his return journey comes at a high price. The book’s bittersweet ending is both thought-provoking and emotional. I would definitely recommend that you read The Little Prince if you haven’t already.
It is one of the most beautiful and profound children’s books there are. If you have older children, then you might like to read it with them as it can be a little overwhelming for them to read alone.

In the meantime, here are some of the best and most thought-provoking Little Prince quotes:

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
“A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.”
“All grown-ups were once children… but only a few of them remember it.”
“Well, I must endure the presence of a few caterpillars if I wish to become acquainted with the butterflies.”
“Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.”
“The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.”
“It is much more difficult to judge oneself than to judge others. If you succeed in judging yourself rightly, then you are indeed a man of true wisdom.”
“It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.”
“I am who I am and I have the need to be.”
“No one is ever satisfied where he is.”
“One day, I watched the sun setting forty-four times……You know…when one is so terribly sad, one loves sunsets.”
“People where you live, the little prince said, grow five thousand roses in one garden… Yet they don’t find what they’re looking for… And yet what they’re looking for could be found in a single rose.”
“But the conceited man did not hear him. Conceited people never hear anything but praise.”
“What matters most are the simple pleasures so abundant that we can all enjoy them…Happiness doesn’t lie in the objects we gather around us. To find it, all we need to do is open our eyes.”
“Where are the people?” resumed the little prince at last. “It’s a little lonely in the desert…” “It is lonely when you’re among people, too,” said the snake.”
“What makes the desert beautiful,’ said the little prince, ‘is that somewhere it hides a well…”
“For me, you are only a little boy just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you have no need of me, either. For you, I’m only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, we’ll need each other. You’ll be the only boy in the world for me and I’ll be the only fox in the world for you.”
“To forget a friend is sad. Not everyone has had a friend.”
“Only the children know what they are looking for.”
“Sometimes, there is no harm in putting off a piece of work until another day.”
“I should have judged her according to her actions, not her words.”
“Nevertheless he is the only one of them all who does not seem to me ridiculous. Perhaps that is because he is thinking of something else besides himself.”
“The one thing I love in life is to sleep.”
“The machine does not isolate man from the great problems of nature but plunges him more deeply into them.”
“And when your sorrow is comforted (time soothes all sorrows) you will be content that you have known me.”

Closing thoughts

I hope you have enjoyed these Little Prince quotes. Admittedly, they are sometimes difficult to fathom at first. However, like many things in life, the more you think about them, the more they begin to make sense.
This is not an easy book to read and the bittersweet ending may leave you feeling a little heartbroken. However, the book offers so many insights into the human condition that it is well worth the time spent thinking about the philosophical ideas contained between the covers.

We’d love to hear your favourite quotes from the Little Prince. Please share them with us in the comments below.

 

 

 

 

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.


About the Author: Kirstie Pursey



Kirstie works as a writer, blogger and storyteller and lives in London with her family of people, dogs and cats. She is a lover of reading, writing, being in nature, fairy lights, candles, firesides and afternoon tea. Kirstie has trouble sitting still which is why she created www.notmeditating.com to share techniques and practices for tuning out the busy mind. She is also the author of Not Meditating: Finding Peace, Love and Happiness Without Sitting Still.


 



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publicado por achama às 16:50
Domingo, 05 / 05 / 19

7 Things a Covert Narcissist Mother Does to Her Children ~ Sherrie.

7 Things a Covert Narcissist Mother Does to Her Children.

By Sherrie.

May 3rd, 2019


 

While most narcissists are men, women can be just as malignant. In fact, the covert narcissist mothers are becoming more common.

Narcissistic females are thought to be rarer than their male counterparts. In fact, 75% of narcissists are male. Recently, however, studies have shown more and more covert narcissists are women. The covert narcissist mother, being one of the most malignant of the group, can cause some of the worst damage as well.

How children are really affected

You would be surprised just how much damage is done to children with covert and dangerous mothers. Yes, I said dangerous because later in life, this upbringing can cause mental health problems and even suicide.
So, what does this type of mother do to her children that’s so heinous? Maybe you will understand the serious nature by delving into the effects of the narcissist.

1. She devalues her children

One thing the covert narcissist type of mother does to her child is devaluation or triangulation. This means she uses one child as a scapegoat and the other as the perfect child.
This creates competition within the mind of the flawed child. This sibling tries desperately to please their mother which is almost impossible. In the meantime, their mother is doting on the golden child and offering praises day after day.
This sort of covert and venomous narcissist mother can leave her imprint way into her child’s adulthood. The effects surface by not being good enough and always comparing themselves to other people.

2. She has two faces

One way the covert style of the narcissistic mother affects the children is by the utilization of two faces. What I mean by two faces is that the mother is loving to her children when presenting them to the outside world, but behind closed doors, she is quite the opposite.
She shows off her children, then punishes them for small things later on. Sometimes she passes her duties as a mother to other people when no one from outside the home is around to see her true actions.

3. Invalidation and gaslighting

One of the most horrible things a mother can do is invalidate the feelings of her childrenand make them feel like they are the crazy ones. This type of mother does negative things and blames the actions of her children as the cause of her negative actions.
She doesn’t validate the feelings of her children as real concerns. This is because the covert narcissistic moods of the mother show no empathy. If something occurs that’s obviously the fault of this mother, she resorts to gaslighting to defend the truths of actions.

4. Her children are parts of her personality

A narcissist’s children are not individuals in her eyes. They are simply a part of her being, created by her, and under her control. She dresses her children in certain ways to represent herself, otherwise, she will have a reputation she does not want.
In public, she brags about her children, but in private she pushes them to be better – she tells them to lose weight or to dress better.. Her children are possessions, or better yet, extensions of herself which must represent her and not an individual person.

5. She competes and crosses boundaries

The covert version of the narcissistic mother will cross strange boundaries with her children. These are boundaries that are extremely disturbing sometimes.
If she has a female child that is developing and maturing physical, the mother will compete with her daughter’s youthful looks. She may try to dress more provocatively than her daughter and even try to steal her boyfriends or seduce them.
She crosses these boundaries because she is aware of her aging and no child of hers will be better than her in any way.

6. Outside possessions are more important than her children

covert narcissist will always find greater pleasure in providing for herself over the need of her children. For instance, she rather purchase new clothing for herself than for her children, even if they need new school clothing.
She is a selfish person and doesn’t care how her children see her. She will buy them the bare minimum and then again, show her children off to the world in their few new outfits. If you pay attention, you will notice the covert mother has more new clothing than her children.

7. She invades their privacy

covert and intrusive narcissistic mother will always break boundaries when it comes to her child’s privacy. Yes, you should, as a mother, be able to check up on some of your children’s actions, but not constantly. Sometimes it is best to let them have some privacy and figure out things for themselves.
An unhealthy relationship with your child will turn into unhealthy relationships when they grow older, destroying future relationships and causing others to resent them for their intrusive behavior.

Let’s be honest: Are you a covert narcissistic mother?

Look within and ask yourself, do you fit any of these indicators of being a parent like this? If you relate to any of these things, please try to change as much as possible for the sake of your child’s future. The treatment they receive now will be the foundation of their adult lives.
If you know someone who is a covert narcissistic type of mother, please provide help for their children if you can. Remember, you cannot break boundaries either or the mother will only punish the children for that as well. If anything, get anonymous support or help.
I hope these indicators and words of hope have helped you as well.
References:
  1. https://thoughtcatalog.com
  2. https://blogs.psychcentral.com
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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publicado por achama às 06:38
Quinta-feira, 25 / 04 / 19

9 Signs of a Narcissistic Father: Were You Raised by a Narcissist? ~ Margaret B.

7 Wise Audrey Hepburn Quotes That Will Inspire and Motivate You.

By Margaret B.

April 24th, 2019. 



 

Many people have had a narcissistic father. Narcissism is everywhere, unfortunately.

It has been present in the past, and it will be present in the future. It can ruin people’s lives, not least because it can be difficult to see. Narcissistic parents can ruin the entire course of their children’s lives. This article provides some ways in which you can see if you had a narcissistic father.

Do any of the below things sound like your father?

 

1.  He Uses/Lives Through His Child

Parents want their children to succeed, so the saying goes. A narcissistic father will likely want his children to succeed, but not for themselves. No, he will want them to succeed because it will reflect well on himself.
Parents are supposed to raise children so that their thoughts and hopes are protected. Parents are supposed to ensure that their children can live for themselves. A narcissistic father will merely ensure that children live and grow to fulfil his wishes, rather than the child’s own.

2.  Marginalization

Narcissism is a trait which invalidates individuality. People are individuals, but narcissists don’t see that. What they see is an extension of themselves, to do with as they please.
As children grow older, they begin to show their own personalities, likes, and dislikes. This can challenge a narcissistic father, who is used to seeing his children as little miniatures. If this happens, many fathers turn to marginalization of their children in order to tear down their success.
These put-downs come in many forms, but they have one purpose. The purpose is to lower or destroy confidence and self-esteem so that the narcissistic father never needs to feel threatened by their children.

3.  Grandiosity and Superiority

Most, if not all, narcissistic fathers have a greatly inflated sense of themselves. No matter what they do, they feel as if they are the best, and should be at the top of the pile. People around a narcissist are therefore not their own people, but merely another way to assert superiority.
When it comes to a narcissistic father, this can manifest in two ways: either the child is used as a prop, or the child is taught to act in the same way. Thus the parent can use their child to assert their own viewpoint in the matter.

4.  Superficial Image

Being superficial is not entirely the same as being superior. Many a narcissistic father has used those around them, including children, to show how special they are. Being superficial means showing off what is ultimately entirely inconsequential.
This can be a good memory (which occurs entirely by chance), or material possessions (which are ultimately meaningless). Many parents might use their child’s social life as a personal booster. It opens up whole new avenues for a narcissistic father to show off what they have, and what they think they are.

5.  Manipulation

Manipulation can take many forms. When a narcissistic father uses it, the most commons forms are:
  • Emotional coercion
  • Unreasonable pressure
  • Reward and punishment – i.e. do what I want or be punished
  • Negative comparisons
  • Shaming
  • Blaming
  • Guilt trips
A particularly common theme for family narcissism is when love becomes conditional. Instead of being something children receive as a matter of course, love is given in return for children acting in a certain way.
Another way to see this is that a narcissistic father will look at love as something to be used as a tool. If his children do what he wants, he will reward them with love. If they don’t do what he wants, he will punish them by withholding his love.

6.  Inflexible and Touchy

Many narcissistic fathers are inflexible when it comes to how they want their children to act and behave. Every parent has to parent their child is they are to grow up properly, of course. But a narcissistic father will go far further than that: they will correct anything which they perceive as wrong.
What is particularly unfortunate is that this inflexibility can manifest in many different ways, making it difficult to combat. One reason for people being inflexible is that it is a way to control children. This tends to work more as the child gets older, and begins to spread their wings.

7.  Lack of Empathy

Because narcissistic fathers don’t see their children as separate from themselves, lack of empathy is a problem. Children have their own thoughts and feelings, and it is important to validate them. When narcissism is involved, however, only the narcissist matters. Nobody else.
Many children, when faced with a lack of empathy, will begin to fight back. They will do this in three distinct ways:
  • Fight back and stand up for themselves and their right to respect for thoughts, feelings, wishes, etc.
  • Distance themselves from the parent in question to get some emotional distance.
  • Creating a new personality which takes on the desired personality traits; these children show narcissistic tendencies themselves.

8.  Dependency/Co-dependency

A narcissistic father may expect that their offspring will be there to take care of them in their old age. This is what is called dependency, and can take a variety of forms. The most common forms are financial, physical, or emotional, with physical often being the most common.
Taking care of aging parents is admirable, but it can be twisted into something unhealthy. Many narcissists can manipulate their children into making unreasonable sacrifices for them, whether personally or financially.
Co-dependency works in something of the same way. The definition of co-dependency is where two people enable each other in bad or actively hurtful actions, such as drug-taking, drinking, or anything else of that nature.

9.  Jealousy & Possessiveness

key part of narcissism is always having control over your target. A narcissistic father will show jealousy of anything and anyone which shows that their child or children are moving on with their lives.
Romantic partners, in particular, will come in for a lot of trouble. Romantic partners are the people who will have the most influence over a person – this will rival the control of a narcissistic parent.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://www.tandfonline.com

 

 
About the Author: Margaret B.
 
Margaret is a freelance writer and tutor. She spends her time reading and writing, hoping to learn why people act the way they do. She is a lifelong fan of both philosophy and fantasy.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 



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publicado por achama às 08:17
Domingo, 21 / 04 / 19

5 Remarkable Examples of Animal Intelligence That Will Leave You in Awe. ~ Sherrie.

5 Remarkable Examples of Animal Intelligence That Will Leave You in Awe.

By Sherrie.

April 19, 2019


 

Animal intelligence could stretch to more than just an elephant’s excellent memory! As these examples will reveal.

The intelligence of animals surpasses what we realize. But the first question is, how is animal intelligence measured? There have been many experiments carried out that could prove animal intelligence really exists. We only have to look at Pavlov’s Dogs study to see how animals can quickly learn to associate a sound with behaviour or action.

But other, far more compelling research shows activity is more evident than we thought when it comes to the brains of animals.

Here are just a couple of impressive things that reveal animal intelligence at its peak!

Animals are spiritual beings

Of course, you heard that right. There is evidence to suggest animals can react emotionally to their surroundings. They can feel and respond to grief, e.g. in a death, and can express the wonderful feeling of existence itself.

Psychologists Marc Bekoff and his colleague Steven Kotler looked at whether animals really experienced spirituality. Bekoff and Kotler found ample evidence that animals can have a morally conscious and emotional intelligence.

Whilst Bekoff and Kotler’s work is anecdotal, Darwinian theory supports it well. The belief of Darwin was evolutionary continuity. This belief states that there were no different kinds of intelligence, only different degrees with the various species.

“The bottom line is that if we have something, they (other animals) do too. It would behoove us to study the questions at hand rather than dismiss them because animals can’t possibly do or experience something that we think is uniquely human.”

-Darwin

Only humans were self-conscious, linguistic, moral, and rational. This is what we believed for a long time. Now we know the truth. There’s more startling evidence as well. It seems that animals could possibly think about pains and pleasures from the past,

Darwin said. They actually possess “excellent memories and some power of imagination”.


Solving puzzles is just as easy for crows as 5-year old children.

Again, this could be the title of a well-thumbed kids’ comic book. But experiments recently conducted, and many of them, suggests truth in the crow’s intelligence. These are indeed creatures with remarkable talent, especially when it comes to solving problems.

The University of Auckland researchers discovered that crows noticed that liquid rises when objects are dropped into tubes of water, water which held a treat. They would then be able to reach the treat that was inside. If the water levels were higher, they could get the treat faster as well. Objects that sank instead of floated would also reduce the time it took for the treat to come to the top of the tube.

Crows can also bend a wire to fish treats from small tubes. This was also quickly realized by the research team. This is why researchers compare a crow’s intelligence is to 5-7-year-olds.

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Elephants can show empathy

An elephant never forgets, right? But, they can also seemingly show understanding and empathy. During controlled experiments, elephants showed their desire to work together with tasks. When learning to pull a rope to acquire a treat, they did this together instead of alone.

Contrary to what some may believe, elephants do not ponder long over the dead. They have been known to eat their dead or at least, sniff them and walk away. As for their reaction to remains, such as bones, an elephant may linger for a while or become aggravated for some unknown reason.

A recent study proves such behavior: When an African elephant sees a skull from its own kind, it stares longer than when rhino or buffalo skulls are introduced. It’s the same with sticks as opposed to ivory.

The elephant is smart enough to know the difference between something originating from their kind and something else entirely.

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Dogs can be taught words

We’ve all tried to teach Fido how to shake hands and Rover to cartwheel. But John Pilley, Psychology researcher, went a step further and trained his dog, Chaser to recognize over a thousand toys, by name. What’s more, over 90% of the time, Chaser could recognize certain toys when Pilley asked for them.

Chaser has learned even more, including recognizing verbs and nouns taught by Pilley Instructions are easy for her, she can put her paw and nose on objects, and even pick them up.

This is an achievement of intelligence for canines, and all it took was hours of intensive training. Chaser is special and not all dogs can learn at her pace.

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Picking locks are easy for Cockatoos

Finally, let’s learn about the cheeky Cockatoo. They too display animal intelligence enough to understand tricky puzzles and solve them, all for a delicious treat. A 2013 study by Alice Auersperg, revealed the difficulty of such puzzles, and that the bird actually has to first open the box. Here’s how the trick worked.

Inside the box was a cashew. So, the cockatoo had to pull out a bolt, remove a pin, take out a screw, turn a wheel, and removed a latch by using a sliding technique. All these things, the Cockatoo accomplished fairly easy.

Without opposable thumbs, as humans have, this did take a long time. It did take two hours for the Cockatoo, but eventually, the bird solved the intricate puzzle. A bird had a goal and completed the goal, a goal that wasn’t an easy and quick task. This says quite a bit about the bird’s perseverance, wouldn’t you say.

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I ACCEPT
Whilst this research can be contested, it could also lay the foundations for new ways of thinking about animal intelligence. Next time you spend time with your pet, maybe you can watch them more, and learn a few morals and lessons about determination.

References:

  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://news.nationalgeographic.com/
  3. https://www.dailymail.co.uk
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 22:13
Domingo, 21 / 04 / 19

5 Things That Cause Fear of Failure and How to Overcome It ~ Sherrie.

5 Things That Cause Fear of Failure and How to Overcome It.

By Sherrie.

April 18, 2019


 

The fear of failure is more common than you think. Most of us are constantly thinking about what could go wrong in life. It is a strong emotion. It keeps us from doing great things with our lives.
I know this first hand as many times I trust fear more than success. Being afraid, unfortunately, rules a great part of my life. And yes, I know what it comes from.
Being afraid that you will fail is what keeps us from taking risks for new jobs, new relationships, and other potentially successful decisions. It’s not protecting us all the time, it’s doing more damage than good.

A closer look at the fear of failure

Atychiphobia is another name for the clinical condition of being afraid of failure. It’s closely related to the fear of rejection. In the worst cases of this fear, some may get stuck in a cycle of either ditching appointments or the act of arriving over-prepared and early. Both symptoms derive from a foreboding that something bad will happen.

Some symptoms of the fear of failure are as follows:

  • Nausea
  • Rapid breathing
  • Nervousness
  • Rapid pulse
  • Panic attacks
  • Sweating
  • Headaches
  • Tension in the muscles
There are more symptoms of being frozen in fear. Just like most other types of fears, this terror creates a need for what’s called a sanctuary, or basically the safety of your home. Some people never want to leave home either.

What creates the fear of not being good enough?

It’s not that easy to explain the definite causes of the fear of failing. There are some common reasons why we won’t take risks in our lives. These causes can be addressed and used to find solutions for why we are so scared.

Here are a few examples of what causes fear to rule our lives:

1. Lack of confidence

One of the reasons we become so afraid is due to the lack-of-confidence. When someone has a healthy self-confidence, they usually don’t dwell on whether they will succeed or fail. The usually just understand that if they fail, they will handle the situation accordingly.
On the other hand, those with low self-confidence will believe in perfectionism. They think that unless they succeed in the task at hand, they will be a failure. Although they fail, they are not a failure, most of us know that, but, to them, this is just a fact.

2. Perfectionism

Closely related to the lack of confidence is the subject of perfectionism. Those who fear failure often believe that they and the things they are interested in are supposed to be perfect  The truth is, nothing is entirely perfect no matter how hard you try to be successful in your endeavors.
Perfection may actually come from the dysfunction of others where a person was always expected to do things without flaws. Neglect could be causes of perfectionism in tasks today and can cause a lack of confidence. The only way to understand if this is a true cause of fear is to notice the traits of the friends around you.

3. Personalization

Some people see failure as a testament to who they are. When they fail to complete a task in the right way or in perfect timing, they see fault in themselves. These individuals truly do not feel good enough about themselves to attempt a new task or take any risks.
The right way to see failure is to look at the tools used for the project of the job. It’ isn’t always about us when things go south. Sometimes it’s just the circumstance or timing. So taking personal offense to failure is just an unhealthy way of looking at things altogether.

4. The perfectionism of others

Although some of us are victims of perfectionism in our personalities, there are others who impose their perfectionism on us too. Some people expect us to be perfect and so we work hard to meet these expectations. This can happen so much that we do feel that we are doomed to fail.
The perfectionism of others is also born from some deep-seated expectation of others as well. It’s actually like a curse passed down from one person to the next. If you are in an important position in your job, don’t be surprised if your boss expects only the best from you and allows no room for mistakes.

5. Childhood issues

Any sort of abuse can cause a fear of failure. Traumas such as abuse or even neglect can make you feel as if nothing you do, present or in the future, will turn out right. This is why you stay home so much and stay within your comfort zone.
Taking a closer look at childhood issues presents us with patterns. The first incident of abusewas probably shocking to the child, but after a while, it became a normal part of life. As an adult, fear became a normal part of life as well.
Maybe you are always afraid that if you fail, there will be punishments. You even brace yourself for the fail long before you actually know the outcome.

How to overcome your fear of failure?

If you recognize yourself as being afraid of failure, then the next step is to find ways to overcome this problem. You would be amazed by the number of ways you can decrease or eliminate these fears.

Here are a few ways to do this:

1. Keep things simple

Complications can heighten certain fears in life. This is because of disorganization and unhealthy emotions. Keeping things simple is the best way to remove your fear of failure. Simplicity can do many things to clear the mind and create a healthier atmosphere.

2. Be in the present moment

One way to overcome the fear of failure is to just be in the present moment. You must stop dwelling in the past and stop worrying about the future. The past, so many times, has pain and damage.
The future has worries that shouldn’t be worried about yet. So, the fear comes from wondering what will happen and if things will turn out bad. So being in the now is always best.

3. Welcome failure

If you accept failure and even welcome it into your life, you can learn many things. Failures teach us what we shouldn’t do and what we can do that’s better. You just have to learn a different mindset when it comes to this dread of failure.
Slowly look within and find what holds you back. Many times, it’s the simple truth of lack of trust in the world. Trust your abilities to accept failure instead.

Nothing is certain

Remember, if you’re afraid of failing, then you will rarely take chances at anything. Taking chances are what change your life, and it’s not always negative. There have been many instances where taking risks have resulted in great achievements and success.
It starts with practice. You must embrace failure before the failure happens if it will. You must take a look at the roots of your life and situations, understanding the truth about failures. Who taught you the horrible feelings associated with fear?
You must ask questions like these to have the courage to change your life for the better. Facing your fears and stepping out in faith is the bottom line. Dump the fear of failure, and start living a life worth living.
References:
  1. https://www.lifehack.org
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

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publicado por achama às 22:02
Quinta-feira, 14 / 02 / 19

3 Signs of Unhealthy Parental Pressure and How to Deal With It. ~ Francesca F.

3 Signs of Unhealthy Parental Pressure and How to Deal With It.

By Francesca F.

February 11th, 2019

 
unhealthy parental pressure.
 
 
 

Everyone feels parental pressure from time to time, but there comes a point when it becomes toxic and detrimental.

Parents are the ones who love and care for us most, and a little parental pressure is natural. They want us to succeed and become the best version of ourselves.


Yet, there are times when parents can be more hurtful than supportive. Some parental pressure is important to help us succeed and instill a strong work ethic as we grow. This makes it quite difficult to quite understand when parental pressure goes from encouraging to damaging.


We assume all that our parents do for us is positive because they are our parents and they love us. This article explores when parental pressure becomes too unhealthy and how we can deal with it effectively. 

1. Lack of self-motivation


The irony of pushing children to succeed is that it creates a paradox where children associate hard work with parental pressure. They then don’t develop a work ethic of their own because they are not working for a goal of their own, they are working to please their parents. 

This is detrimental to children as they age when parents are not there to push them. They lack sustainable motivation through further education and into their careers, reducing the chances of future successes.

Children under excessive parental pressure also become much more complaisant to their parents’ wishes. This replaces autonomous thinking and judgment, affecting their problem-solving capabilities and need for self-reliance. 

Overall, too much parental pressure can remove the child’s ability to look inward to find strength and motivation. This will end up holding them back in their future endeavors. 

2. Failure feels like the end of the world


Children who face unrelenting parental pressure begin to associate their identity strongly with their grades or the sport they play. If this becomes too entrenched in their personality, failing in academics or sport can cause their personality to fail also. 

This leaves children who face too much pressure from parents twice as likely to suffer from mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. 

3. Too good to be true


The worst effect of too much parental pressure is those who appear to be completely happy and successful. These children are actually hiding behind a false front and a fake sense of self. Teens who are forced to succeed throughout school will fail to develop a real sense of who they are as a person.


This will lead to an identity crisis in the future when they have less parental pressure to maintain the façade. 

Without real acceptance of who children are as an individual, they will be hard pushed to accept themselves. As a result, this can lead to a variety of mental health issues and recklessness as young adults. 
How to deal with too much parental pressure

As a child


If you are currently dealing with too much parental pressure at home and want to take the problem head on, it’s time to talk to your parents. Try to remain calm and ask your parents to respect your views at the beginning of the conversation. Parents are much more likely to take on the opinions of their child when the conversation is approached maturely. 

Be clear on your points and know the clear points you want to make, but don’t forget parents need a little reassurance, too. If you need them to back off a little with regard to academics, reassure them you will not allow your grades to slip. If you have an alternative idea for a university course or wish to defer a year, research all of your options and present them with evidence of your alternatives. 

Showing that you are mature enough to understand your own decisions and accept their consequences will garner respect. Thus, you will find your parents will be much more accepting of your views.


Be willing to compromise a little. Allow them to monitor grades or take part in research with you. Ultimately, parents just want to be involved in ensuring the best path for their children. Allowing them to have input will help them feel as though they are helping you along your path

As an adult


If you suffered from too much parental pressure as a child and are suffering the effects as an adult, it’s important to understand where it is that you suffer. If your self-esteem has taken a hit, or you’re not entirely sure who you are as an individual, take some time to find things you enjoy. Create successes in finding new things and finding what you’re good at. 

Where your work ethic may be lacking, it is still possible to strengthen it. Practice working alongside rewards to build motivation and concentration. 

Child-parent relationships can be incredibly complicated. It is a careful balance between support and encouragement, both of which can easily slip into babying and pressure. 

Asserting yourself to a parent can seem scary, but it is all part of growing up. Parents are doing their best to raise their children. Sometimes they need a little input from their child to help them parent correctly.
 
References:
  1. https://nationalpost.com/
  2. https://psychcentral.com/

 

 

 

 
 

About the Author: Francesca F.

Francesca is a freelance writer currently studying a degree in Law and Philosophy. She has written for several blogs in a range of subjects across Lifestyle, Relationships and Health and Fitness. Her main pursuits are learning new innovative ways of keeping fit and healthy, as well as broadening her knowledge in as many areas as possible in order to achieve success.
 
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 



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Archives:

 


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Discernment is recommended.

 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


More @ http://violetflame.biz.ly and 
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publicado por achama às 09:41
Segunda-feira, 11 / 02 / 19

3 Signs of Unhealthy Parental Pressure and How to Deal With It. ~ Francesca F.

3 Signs of Unhealthy Parental Pressure and How to Deal With It.

By Francesca F.

February 11th, 2019

 
unhealthy parental pressure.
 
 
 

Everyone feels parental pressure from time to time, but there comes a point when it becomes toxic and detrimental.

Parents are the ones who love and care for us most, and a little parental pressure is natural. They want us to succeed and become the best version of ourselves.


Yet, there are times when parents can be more hurtful than supportive. Some parental pressure is important to help us succeed and instill a strong work ethic as we grow. This makes it quite difficult to quite understand when parental pressure goes from encouraging to damaging.


We assume all that our parents do for us is positive because they are our parents and they love us. This article explores when parental pressure becomes too unhealthy and how we can deal with it effectively. 

1. Lack of self-motivation


The irony of pushing children to succeed is that it creates a paradox where children associate hard work with parental pressure. They then don’t develop a work ethic of their own because they are not working for a goal of their own, they are working to please their parents.

This is detrimental to children as they age when parents are not there to push them. They lack sustainable motivation through further education and into their careers, reducing the chances of future successes.

Children under excessive parental pressure also become much more complaisant to their parents’ wishes. This replaces autonomous thinking and judgment, affecting their problem-solving capabilities and need for self-reliance.

Overall, too much parental pressure can remove the child’s ability to look inward to find strength and motivation. This will end up holding them back in their future endeavors. 

2. Failure feels like the end of the world


Children who face unrelenting parental pressure begin to associate their identity strongly with their grades or the sport they play. If this becomes too entrenched in their personality, failing in academics or sport can cause their personality to fail also.

This leaves children who face too much pressure from parents twice as likely to suffer from mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. 

3. Too good to be true


The worst effect of too much parental pressure is those who appear to be completely happy and successful. These children are actually hiding behind a false front and a fake sense of self. Teens who are forced to succeed throughout school will fail to develop a real sense of who they are as a person.


This will lead to an identity crisis in the future when they have less parental pressure to maintain the façade.

Without real acceptance of who children are as an individual, they will be hard pushed to accept themselves. As a result, this can lead to a variety of mental health issues and recklessness as young adults.
How to deal with too much parental pressure

As a child


If you are currently dealing with too much parental pressure at home and want to take the problem head on, it’s time to talk to your parents. Try to remain calm and ask your parents to respect your views at the beginning of the conversation. Parents are much more likely to take on the opinions of their child when the conversation is approached maturely.

Be clear on your points and know the clear points you want to make, but don’t forget parents need a little reassurance, too. If you need them to back off a little with regard to academics, reassure them you will not allow your grades to slip. If you have an alternative idea for a university course or wish to defer a year, research all of your options and present them with evidence of your alternatives.

Showing that you are mature enough to understand your own decisions and accept their consequences will garner respect. Thus, you will find your parents will be much more accepting of your views.


Be willing to compromise a little. Allow them to monitor grades or take part in research with you. Ultimately, parents just want to be involved in ensuring the best path for their children. Allowing them to have input will help them feel as though they are helping you along your path

As an adult


If you suffered from too much parental pressure as a child and are suffering the effects as an adult, it’s important to understand where it is that you suffer. If your self-esteem has taken a hit, or you’re not entirely sure who you are as an individual, take some time to find things you enjoy. Create successes in finding new things and finding what you’re good at.

Where your work ethic may be lacking, it is still possible to strengthen it. Practice working alongside rewards to build motivation and concentration.

Child-parent relationships can be incredibly complicated. It is a careful balance between support and encouragement, both of which can easily slip into babying and pressure.

Asserting yourself to a parent can seem scary, but it is all part of growing up. Parents are doing their best to raise their children. Sometimes they need a little input from their child to help them parent correctly.
 
References:
  1. https://nationalpost.com/
  2. https://psychcentral.com/

 

 

 

 
 

About the Author: Francesca F.

Francesca is a freelance writer currently studying a degree in Law and Philosophy. She has written for several blogs in a range of subjects across Lifestyle, Relationships and Health and Fitness. Her main pursuits are learning new innovative ways of keeping fit and healthy, as well as broadening her knowledge in as many areas as possible in order to achieve success.
 
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 



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Archives:

 



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Discernment is recommended.

 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


More @ http://violetflame.biz.ly and 
https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/




 

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publicado por achama às 09:31
Segunda-feira, 28 / 01 / 19

10 Signs of Toxic Sibling Relationships Most People Think Are Normal ~ Janey Davies.

Has an Alien Signal Been Detected? SETI Research and the First Contact.

By Janey Davies.

January 27th, 2019. 

 
 
toxic sibling relationships
 

 

There’s no law that says we have to get on with our siblings. Thankfully, most of us have pretty good family dynamics. But some people have toxic sibling relationships.

So what’s the difference between say typical sibling rivalries to toxic sibling relationships?
Healthy sibling relationships are compassionate, loving, willing to listen and help. They are non-judgemental and caring. They want the best for their brothers and sisters. That’s why they are happy and pleased when their siblings achieve success. They are independent of their siblings but not distant from them.
Toxic sibling relationships are simply the opposite.

Here are 10 other signs of toxic sibling relationships:

 

1.They are the favourite child

Parents should not have favourite children. But was your sibling always praised and given the best opportunities in your family? Did they get away with murder? Did the rules not apply to them?
Favouritism can lead to narcissistic behaviour. When a child always gets want they want and is never made to feel the consequences of their actions, it gives them a false sense of superiority.

2.They are controlling

Do you feel like you always have to do what your sibling wants to do? If you don’t, they will sulk or get aggressive? In the end, it’s just easier to go with whatever they want?
This is a form of control. Whether it is what friends are suitable for you or the type of college course you should study. If you find that you are not able to make your own decisions without your sibling getting their way, this is a sign of coercive control.

3.You don’t feel you can say ‘no’ to them

This is another form of control, but it also impacts a great deal on your life. Do they get upset if you say no to one of their requests or demands? Do they make you feel guilty for saying no? Finally, do they play on your emotions and try and make you feel bad for not helping them?
This is typical behaviour of a younger sibling that has narcissistic tendencies.

4They manipulate you

People that think and act in a rational and logical way can quite often be deceived and manipulated easily because they just don’t think in that kind of devious way. Someone who is lazy and can’t be bothered to work themselves will use deception to resolve their issues instead.
The problem here is that, of course, families are supposed to help out one another, but not to the point where one person is always benefitting to the detriment of everyone else.

5.They are always right

No one is right all the time. We all have to have an open mind, even if we think we know the truth. But some people that believe that they know what is right and won’t listen to anyone else’s opinion.
This kind of closed mind can be exhausting and inevitably leads to arguments and breakdowns in a relationship. It also invalidates your feelings because you don’t feel as if your opinions and ideas are important or that they matter.

6.They ‘play’ you against your other siblings

Does one sibling constantly gossip or badmouth to you about your other brothers or sisters? Does this undermine your relationships with them? This is one of the worst signs of toxic sibling relationships as this behaviour can cause lasting damage.
They do this to elevate their own position by making their other siblings look bad in your eyes. This is because their own behaviour is not good enough by itself, so they have to trash the reputation of others in order to look better.

7.They dismiss your feelings

We need validation when we are feeling angry, unloved, frightened, anxious or sad. When someone does not take our feelings into account, they are telling us in effect that we don’t matter. We are not important.
Our emotions are what drive us, they are interwoven into every action or behaviour that we take. To have them ignored is extremely detrimental to our psyche.

8.They are constantly criticising you

Not only do toxic siblings like to trash their brothers and sisters to other siblings in the family dynamic, but they also like to make you feel bad about yourself. They do this by constantly criticising you.
They will judge every aspect of your life and find you wanting. Nothing you do will be good enough in their eyes. Their barrage of putdowns will have a cumulative effect until you begin spending less time with them to escape the mental battles.

9.They only ever contact you when they need something

You get friends like this, ones that you only get a phone call or a text when they need money or a shoulder to cry on. And it can be exactly the same with siblings.
Do you go for months without hearing from your sibling and then suddenly out of the blue, you get an email or phone call from them?
It will start off innocently enough, perhaps asking how you are, but then the real reason for the call will soon become apparent. They want something from you.

10.They make threats all the time

Making threats is a toxic behaviour in itself. Well-adjusted people don’t tend to have to make ultimatums in order to get what they want or need in life. If your sibling is constantly making threats, it shows they do not have the mental capacity or the patience to get what they desire in a civilised way.
So how do you deal with toxic sibling relationships? It may be too late to change their behaviour, but you can certainly do something about yours.

How to deal with toxic sibling relationships

Do not engage in bad behaviour, just ignore it. If you engage in it, it may encourage your sibling to carry on.

Surround yourself with positive people

 

Ignore toxic behaviour

It is easy to doubt yourself when you have a toxic sibling. But if you are with positive well-balanced people, you’ll be able to recognise bad behaviour immediately and not put up with it.

Set clear boundaries

Some toxic behaviour is quite intrusive and can take over a person’s life. By setting clear boundaries, you can regain control.

Sever contact if necessary

Finally, there’s no rule that you have to stay in close contact with your sibling. If the situation is really bad and affecting your health, it is best to sever contact.
Do you have a toxic relationship with your sibling that you would like to talk to us about? Let us know in the comments section.
References:
  1. https://www.bustle.com/
  2. https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/

 

About the Author: Janey D.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 



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Discernment is recommended.

 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


More @ http://violetflame.biz.ly and 
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publicado por achama às 06:57
A Luz está a revelar a Verdade, e esta libertar-nos-á! -Só é real o AMOR Incondicional. -Quando o Amor superar o amor pelo poder, o mundo conhecerá a Paz; Jimi Hendrix. -Somos almas a ter uma experiência humana!

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