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Quinta-feira, 16 / 01 / 20

7 Signs You Are an Overly Critical Person and How to Stop Being One

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 16th, 2020.

 
 

 
 
You may think that you aren’t an overly critical person until you read about it. If you are, you can learn how to stop.
 
I am an overly critical person. There, I went ahead and admitted a fact about myself. To be honest, in the last few months, I’ve realized quite a bit of unhealthy aspects of my personality. But instead of letting it drag me down, I choose to work on this issue and get better. Are you overly critical?
 
What is an overly critical person?
 
You won’t recognize that you’re criticizing and judging people until it’s been done to you, or until you start reading about the signs. You may think the way you operate is normal, and your intentions are to help others be better people.
 
But remember, every human is an individual, and criticism doesn’t change them, it shouldn’t. If anything is to be changed, it should be done by the one who wants to change. Do you see my point? Well, in case you don’t understand, read on…
 
Signs of criticizing way too much:
 
1. A negative upbringing
 
Unfortunately, so many of us were surrounded by negative people when we were children. Our mothers, our fathers, even extended family members constantly talked about other people, and judged individuals on one trait, or what they wear.
 
If you grew up listening to all this negativity, you may still think it’s normal to criticize people and judge them. Yes, this trait of being overly critical can be deep indeed.
 
2. Labeled a negative person
 
If the people who are close to you are saying that you’re negative all the time, then it might be time to evaluate yourself.
 
No, you don’t have to take everything a person says to heart, but when family and friends repeatedly tell you to stop being so judgemental, then you probably need to change that fact and try to be more positive. If you’re used to being negative, this will be hard to do, but it will be so worth it when results show.
 
3, Micromanaging is second nature
 
If someone in your household is repairing a window or cooking a meal, it will be almost impossible for you to let them do it without your help – moreover, it does not really help, it’s the fact that you will tell them all the ways they’re doing it wrong. You may even take hold of the tools or utensils and do a bit of the work to show them.
 
This is a glaring indication that you are much too critical of others and what they do.
 
4. You have a mental disorder
 
I hate mentioning this one again because it seems to be a growing issue. However, if you have a mental disorder, you may also have a problem with criticizing people. Paranoia will make youconstantly ask questions about how someone is completing a task. Anxiety will make you criticize almost everything, honestly.
 
I do this. If I don’t have consistency, then something is wrong. If someone looks shady, then I will say they’re shady. Yes, I am embarrassed to admit it, but mental illness can cause us to become extremely judgmental while we wish others weren’t so judgemental of us. So, when we fight the stigma, remember, let’s fight the judgment in ourselves as well.
 
5. Nothing is completely enjoyable
 
Do you know those people who go out and have a good time and come home smiling? Yeah, I’m not one of them. I want to be, and I want it so badly I could scream. You will recognize the overly critical person by the fact that they find something wrong with everything.
 
You could simply be going to see a movie, and they will complain about some trivial little things like too many previews. Ordinary people enjoy the movie and go home happy. No matter how fun the day is, the critical people will find the fault – we will find the crack in perfection.
 
6. You’re always moody
 
An overly critical person will always be moody, whether they have depression or not. That’s because not everyone else is doing things as you would do them.
 
For instance, a critical person can get angry because someone forgets to open the door for them. This could have been a one-time incident, but they will label it as being inconsiderate. There are so many things that moody people notice and it makes them even darker.
 
7. You complain all the time
 
A critical person will complain so much that they prepare themselves for the bad day they will have, no kidding. I got in the habit for a while of waking up and immediately wondering how someone was going to make me mad at some point during the day. I should have been thankful and thinking about all the time I had to get good things done.
 
Then when people come around, and something isn’t right, like you expected, you complain. You complain if you get too much attention, you complain if you aren’t, you complain if it rains, you complain if it stays dry and hot. No matter how wonderful the day is, a constant critical person will make it tarnished.
How do we stop this?
 
So, since I do this too, we gotta learn to stop together, right? I’ve been reading up on some material that’s starting to help me with this problem. If that critical thinking is deep-rooted in childhood, then when you start thinking that way, remember where it comes from and say a resounding “NO!”
 
What this does is it reminds you that you are not your ancestors, and you can see the world in a different way.
 
If you suffer from a mental disorder, then working with your therapist and telling them ALL the truth about your day will help them find ways to turn your thought process around. It’s all about your mindset.
 
I’ve learned that. You see, you’ve set your mind to bad, and gradually, with small steps, you can set it to good. Instead of saying, “Oh god, I wonder what crap I will have to put up with the day.”, say,“Oh, I am so excited to start this new day!”
 
For the complainers, practice finding at least one good thing about the person you’re criticizing. For the ones who criticize even their fun times, try to only have fun and ignore those pestering thoughts telling you that the drive was too long, or the bathrooms were too dirty.
 
It’s all about practice, you see. It’s bettering yourself a little bit every day. If you fail, just try again. Don’t let others’ negative remarks spark your negativity. Return a negative comment with a nice one. It will startle them and they will get confused. I’ve been doing this lately.

 

 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
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All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 18:45
Terça-feira, 14 / 01 / 20

4 Signs of a Micromanaging Boss and What to Do If You Have One

Lottie Miles.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 11th, 2020.

 
micromanaging boss.

 
 
 

 
The day to day grind of working in an office can lead one to think that their experience is the norm. However, having a manager that monitors everything and a lack of freedom at work can harm both your performance and well-being. In this post, we explore the 4 signs that you have a micromanaging boss and what you can do to deal with them.
 
What does it mean to micromanage?
 
The practice of micromanagement isn’t restricted to the workplace. However, this is where micromanagers are often found.
 
Micromanagement refers to exerting excessive control over a person or a situation. This can occur within a social context, at work, or even in relationships. An obsession over the minute detail over what someone is doing, rather than looking at the bigger picture is a key characteristic of someone who micromanages.
 
Sometimes, micromanagement can take on a bullying persona where one person attempts to completely control and influence the actions and behavior of another. If this sounds all too familiar, then it may be that your boss is micromanaging you.
 
In the next section, we look at some of the familiar traits of a micromanager in the workplace.
 
4 signs that your boss is micromanaging you
 
1. Your freedom is restricted
 
Do you feel like your boss is constantly looking over your shoulder? Or that you have to run everything (even small things) by them first? Feeling a lack of freedom in your job is a sure sign that you have a micromanaging boss.
 
Good managers trust their staff, as they recognize that they are qualified for the role they are undertaking. A boss that is partial to micromanagement does not feel this trust and doesn’t allow their employees to make decisions for themselves.
 
Autonomy at work is an important means of keeping you interested in your job as it gives you room to be creative. Feeling trusted to make decisions is also essential in a work environment to ensure you feel valued and empowered.
 
2. Your boss is reluctant to give you training
 
Another indication that you have a micromanaging boss is if they’re reluctant for you to undertake any training or development opportunities. This comes from the fear that through upskilling their staff, they will decrease their own value and importance. This aspect of being micromanaged can feel particularly restrictive as it makes it difficult to progress in your career.
 
So, if you’ve noticed your manager won’t share their knowledge with you or brushes over training opportunities, it is likely they are guilty of micromanaging.
 
3. They can’t see the big picture
 
Part of being a good manager comes from being able to see the bigger picture and trusting that their employees have their individual tasks in hand.
 
A micromanager, however, is unable to do this. They are obsessed with the minute detail within projects. This means that instead of being free to just ‘get on with it’ you’re constantly forced to update your boss on what you’re doing.
 
This could be in the form of regular reports, constant team meetings to feedback on progress, or a persistent email thread that feels incredibly unproductive. It can feel like you spend most of your time updating your boss on what you’re doing rather than actually doing the work itself.
 
If this sounds like your experience, then it’s likely your boss is micromanaging the work you do.
 
4. They don’t like to delegate
 
Another trait of a micromanaging boss is that they don’t like to delegate. All of the points above ring true of a person who lacks faith in others, and this aspect of micromanagement is no different.
 
A micromanaging manager will often refuse to pass on important tasks to their team as they feel they are the only ones qualified to undertake them. This can lead to an overwhelming workload for them, and a feeling of discontent amongst other team members.
 
Difficulties in delegating can also lead to unnecessary delays and projects that feel like they are never-ending.
 
How to deal with a micromanaging boss?
 
Unsurprisingly, showing a lack of faith in the team, a refusal to help team members develop, and the refusal to delegate leads to an unsatisfactory work life for those under the leadership of a micromanager. However, it doesn’t have to be like this. Here are some tips on how to deal with your micromanaging boss.
 
1. Be honest
 
It can seem daunting to criticize the behavior of your manager. However, it may be that they don’t realize the impact that their micromanaging is having.
 
Next time you have a one-to-one scheduled, prepare what you want to say to your manager and write down some examples of when their micromanaging has gone too far. Highlight how their managing style is impacting on your ability to do your job and your well-being at work. An open and honest conversation can feel scary beforehand, but the benefits are likely to be well worth it.
 
2. Be one step ahead of them
 
If you’ve been working under a micromanager for a while, you can no doubt anticipate when and what they are planning to ask you. By anticipating this beforehand you can provide the answers to their questions before they have the chance to breathe over your shoulder.
 
This could be in the form of an email at the start or end of the week to update them on any progress. In showing them that you’re fully on top of things, it may give them the confidence to give you the space you need.
Final Words
 
Handling a micromanaging boss can feel like a job in itself. It can mean that you feel incredibly restricted in your work and affect your happiness in your job.
 
Opening up to your manager that their managing style is not working for you can feel like a huge hurdle to jump over. However, it can lead to a much-needed discussion around how you can best work together to make the work environment a happy and productive place.
 
References:

  1. https://www.rd.com
  2. https://www.forbes.com

 

 

Lottie Miles

 






 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 20:58
Terça-feira, 07 / 01 / 20

I Had an Emotionally Unavailable Mother and Here’s What It Felt Like

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

January 7th, 2020.

 
EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE MOTHER.
 

 
 
Want to know what it feels like to be raised by an emotionally unavailable mother? Let me tell you my story.
 
Whenever someone asks me about my mother, I say ‘She died when I was young’. When they reply that they are so sorry, I always say ‘It doesn’t matter, she was an evil cow and I didn’t love her anyway. Most people are shocked.
 
Are you? If you are – why? You didn’t know her. You didn’t know what she was like. What it was like growing up with her. And before you say ‘Well yes that’s all very well, but she was your mother’, so what? Tell me what law or unwritten rule stipulates that I have to love my mother? There is none.
 
You might think it is disrespectful to talk the way I do. But those among you who have experienced an emotionally unavailable mother will understand my point of view. And believe me when I tell you that I tried my very hardest to love her.
 
What Is an Emotionally Unavailable Mother?
 
‘Emotionally unavailable mother’ to me is just a fancy psychological way of saying cold-hearted and unfeeling. But what is the difference between a mother who struggles sometimes to show her love and one that is emotionally unavailable? I can only tell you my story and it may appear cold and matter-of-fact.
 
But what if your mother never cuddled you or told you she loved you? Or actually even spoke to you that much? What if your mother used you as a means to earn money and her own personal housekeeper? How would you feel if she was abusive to your siblings and cold towards you? Perhaps then you might understand a little of how I feel.
 
So let me tell you a few stories about dear old mum. Maybe you’ll get where I’m coming from. Or perhaps you’ll think I’m being a total snowflake and I should just get over myself and stop blaming her for everything.
 
What It Feels Like to Have an Emotionally Unavailable Mother
 
No loving touch
 
I remember being very little, probably around 4 or 5 and craving my mother’s touch. She never touched me ever. Not a hug, a cuddle, nothing.
 
But she did do one thing and that was to come into my and my sisters’ bedrooms after a night out drinking and check we were all in bed. If our bedsheets were tangled, she would straighten them out.
 
This was an opportunity for me to receive a touch from my mother as sometimes if my arm was hanging out of the bed, she would put it back under the sheets. Imagine being this starved of a mother’s touch that you engineer a scenario where she might come into contact with you? And at that young age?
 
No response
 
Again, when I was young, I could write so I guess I was around the age of 5-6, I would leave little notes to my mother. The notes would say things like ‘I love you so much mum’ and ‘You are the best mum in the world’.
 
I would leave these love notes to my mother on her pillow on her bed so she would see them before she went to sleep. She never mentioned them. I would excitably go to bed and look under my pillow to see what she had left for me. After a few weeks, I stopped writing them.
 
Ignored wishes
 
I passed my 12+ which meant I could go to a local grammar school. There were two choices; an all-girls one which had a very posh reputation (not me at all, we lived on a council estate) or a local mixed grammar where all my friends were going.
 
Mother decided I was to attend the all-girls school. Despite my protests, she told me ‘It would look better on my CV later’ when I applied for jobs. Ironically, I wasn’t allowed to carry on and study for A-Levels. I had to work at the factory job she had found for me when I was 16 to help pay the household bills.
 
Can’t confide with your mother
 
I had a very bad time at grammar school. I didn’t know anyone. There were cliques of girls who had known one another from middle school and were quite happy to stay in their own little groups.
 
It got so bad that I ran away twice and went home. Each time my mother took me back to the school, no questions asked. The school did try to help but as far as mother was concerned I was to ‘get on with it’. I contemplated ending it all but got through it.
 
Some years later, mother and I were arguing and she had said she’d always done her best for me. I shouted back that because she’d sent me to that school I’d tried to top myself. I ran upstairs to my bedroom. She followed and for the first time in my life, she put her arm around me. It felt so odd and strange I felt physically sick and had to move away.
 
The Impact of Having a Mother Who Was Emotionally Unavailable
 
So that’s a little of my pity party story. There’s much more but a lot involves other people and that is their story to tell. So how am I affected and what do I do about it?
 
Well, I never wanted children. I don’t have a maternal bone in me. I am shown pictures of babies and I don’t get it. I don’t feel this flush of warmth or emotion. But show me a puppy or an animal in pain or distress and I am weeping like a baby. I think I feel emotionally attached to animals more because they have no voice. They can’t tell you what is wrong. I felt the same way during childhood.
 
I have a cold heart. I always say I have a heart of stone. Nothing touches it. I’ve formed this hard barrier around it so nothing will crack it. This is a survival technique I learned as a child. Don’t let anyone in and you won’t be hurt.
 
A late boyfriend of mine used to say to me ‘You are a hard nut to crack’ and I never knew what he meant but now I do. He also said that I was either clingy of hostile. This is also true. You are either everything to me or you are nothing.
 
As a child, I had an avoidant attachment style. I had spent a long time trying to get my mother’s attention. Having failed I shut down and become ambivalent about her. As an adult, this has transformed into a dismissive-avoidant style where I keep myself to myself. I avoid contact with others and keep emotions at arm’s length.
 
Despite the former tirade, I don’t blame my mother for anything.
 
In fact, I am thankful she had me. It was the 60s, she was out of wedlock and she could easily have not have done so.
 
I remind myself that I am not my mother. I understand the weaknesses of my upbringing and that allows me to cope with life as an adult.
 
Then, I have a tendency to shut myself away from people and have to try hard to socialise. The saying ‘better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all’ doesn’t apply to me. If there is a chance of losing love I won’t love in the first place.
 
I know why I have to be the centre of attention when I am in company. It is because I craved it as a child and never got it. Likewise, I like to shock people and see their reaction. This goes directly back to my mother. I would intentionally shock her when I was a teen. Just to try and get something out of her.
 
Final Thoughts
 
I think that we need to remember that emotional neglect from an unavailable mother can be as damaging as abuse and physical neglect. However, understanding how any kind of neglect has affected you is key to moving forward.

 

 
Janey Davies

 





About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

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publicado por achama às 17:23
Sábado, 28 / 12 / 19

20 Signs of a Narcissistic Perfectionist Who Is Poisoning Your Life

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

December 27th, 2019.

 
Narcissistic Perfectionist signs.
 
 
 
Psychological terms such as narcissism and perfectionist have been around for decades. We understand their character traits, even if we don’t possess them ourselves. But what happens when the two collide? Is there such a thing as a narcissistic perfectionist? And if so, what impact does it have on a person’s life?
 
Understanding the Narcissistic Perfectionist
 
It is easy to explain this kind of person. We simply break down the two components of their personality.
 
 
So, we know that narcissists, as well as putting themselves first, have the following character traits:
 
Narcissists:
  • A grandiose sense of self
  • A sense of entitlement
  • They think they are special and unique
 
On the other hand, perfectionists set themselves impossibly high standards.
 
Perfectionists:
  • Strive for flawless performance
  • They will work tirelessly, be extremely self-critical.
  • Some will have a tendency to procrastinate.
 
Now, it’s not quite as simple as putting these two character traits together. This is because the narcissist who is also a perfectionist projects their perfectionism onto other people, not themselves. This is the difference between a perfectionist and a person with narcissistic traits.
 
The narcissistic perfectionist sets these unrealistic goals and targets for other people. Furthermore, they get angry and hostile if they don’t reach these impossible goals.
 
Dr. Simon Sherry is a clinical psychologist and an associate professor. He works in the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience.
 
 
“Narcissistic perfectionists have a need for other people to satisfy their unreasonable expectations… And if you don’t, they get angry.” Dr. Simon Sherry
 
Studies into This Type of Personality
 
Studies included researching the biographies of famous CEOs with narcissistic perfectionism. Employees reported their bosses lashing out at them for very minor mistakes. They would be held in high-esteem one minute then go from ‘hero to zero’ the next.
 
 
In addition, employees would be routinely derogated in front of co-workers. The CEOs would be hyper-critical, to the point of outright hostility.
 
So why is this combination so lethal?
 
“But high expectations paired with feelings of grandiosity and entitlement to the perfect performance of others creates a much more negative combination.” Dr. Simon Sherry
 
So far we have talked about top CEOs, but what about in everyday life? What if the perfectionist narcissist is a member of your own family?
 
Logan Nealis is a Clinical Psychology Ph.D. student. He is working with the Personality Research Team.
 
 
“A narcissistic perfectionist parent demands perfect performance from his daughter on the hockey rink, but not necessarily from anyone else out there.” Logan Nealis
 
But it’s not just about demanding perfection from people around them. It is also about basking in the glow of success through the perfection achieved by those around them. The narcissist can say, through these perfect achievements, ‘Look how good I am!’
Typical Behaviors of a Narcissistic Perfectionist
 
So how can you spot someone with narcissistic perfectionist tendencies? According to recent studies, there are several major red flags:
 
“Our most consistent finding across the two studies is that narcissistic perfectionism is associated with social negativity in the form of anger, derogation, conflict and hostility,” explains Dr. Sherry.
 
This social negativity goes hand-in-hand with the narcissist’s sense of superiority. So they won’t just take the time to critically humiliate you. In fact, they’ll do all of that whilst maintaining this sense that they are better than you.
 
The narcissist who also believes in perfectionism will react in violent and hostile outbursts. These outbursts will be a complete over-reaction to the mistake in question. For example, imagine that you have made one very small spelling error on a document. The narcissist perfectionist boss would drag you out in front of your co-workers, shout and scream at you and sack you on the spot.
 
Also, don’t forget, any errors will never be the narcissist’s fault. It is inconceivable to them that they might be wrong or the mistake is theirs. This black and white thinking just adds to the problem.
 
“In the world view of a narcissistic perfectionist, the problem exists outside of themselves. It’s the co-worker, it’s the spouse, it’s the roommate.” Dr Sherry
 
20 Signs Someone You Know Is a Narcissistic Perfectionist
 
  1. Many of us work for bosses that demand perfection. But what’s the difference between someone who wants the best work from you, or the narcissist who just happens to be a perfectionist too? And what about family and friends? Do you recognise any of the following signs?
  2. They set impossible demands/targets/goals
  3. These goals are for everyone else, not themselves
  4. They react inappropriately when something does not go their way
  5. You are always walking on eggshells around them
  6. You never know how they are going to react
  7. They are hyper-critical in everything you do
  8. Everything you do is up for criticism
  9. The rules apply to you but not to them
  10. They can bend the rules, but you never can
  11. They get impatient with you
  12. They demand great things from you
  13. You can’t ever be yourself around them
  14. You’re afraid of them
  15. They’re unprofessional at work
  16. They expect too much from you
  17. You’re not allowed to offer ‘excuses’
  18. It’s never their fault
  19. They are always right
  20. They don’t want to hear explanations
  21. If you make a mistake, they get hostile and angry
 
You might recognise some of the above signs. They may apply to a boss, a partner, a friend or a family member. Dealing with the narcissistic perfectionist in your life depends on the circumstances. If it is your boss, there might not be much you can do apart from seeking alternative employment.
 
For personal relationships, however, Dr. Sherry believes that getting the person to understand the impact of their behaviour is the way forward. Typically, the narcissist will not seek treatment. They may do it only in the end stages when their marriage has failed, or they have lost a company for example.
 
Final Thoughts
 
It is extremely difficult to change the mindset of a narcissist, particularly one with perfectionist traits. Sometimes the only thing you can do is leave, for your own sanity.
  1. medicalxpress.com
  2. www.sciencedaily.com
  3. www.researchgate.net
 

 
Janey Davies

 





About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

Archives:

 


 
A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
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Alternative to YouTube
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 06:17
Terça-feira, 24 / 12 / 19

Maximizers and Satisficers: Which One Are You and What Does It Mean?

Lottie Miles.

learning-mind.com

Posted December 23rd, 2019.

 
Maximizers and Satisficers.

 


Decision making is an unavoidable feature of our lives. However, researchers have found that some of us are better at it than others. Psychologists have grouped people into two distinctive categories: maximizers and satisficers.

In this post, we look at the meaning behind the terms ‘maximizer’ and ‘satisficer’. And help you to explore which term best describes your approach to decision making.

What does the concept mean?

To put it simply, maximizers are individuals who are constantly striving to make the best decision that derives the maximum benefit. Whereas satisficers spend less time over a decision and are content with an option that is ‘good enough’.

Maximizers vs. Satisficers: Which one are you?
Let’s take a look at these categories in more detail and go through some examples to help you to determine which camp you fit into.
Maximizers

Imagine the scenario, you need to buy a new car and believe you have found the perfect model in your local garage. However, despite this, you know there are several other garages to visit in the area. You, therefore, decide to visit all of these before making your decision. Sound familiar? A maximizer finds it difficult to commit to a decision until they have explored all of the other available options first.

Maximizers are most likely to experience ‘FOBO’ the term coined by US venture capitalist Patrick McGinnis. FOBO stands for the ‘fear of better options’, a feeling which maximizers are all too familiar with. When faced with many options in front of them, a maximizer will deliberate over the selection and often experience a feeling of remorse after making a decision.

Maximizers are prone to regretting their decisions and contemplate what could have been rather than being satisfied with their choice.
Satisficers

Satisficers have a lot easier time making decisions than maximizers. They have a clear set of criteria beforehand and make a decision based on this. Referring back to the example above, a satisficer would have purchased the first car that met their criteria. They would not have felt the need to look around the other garages.

The US Nobel Prize-winning economist Herbert A. Simon came up with the concept of ‘satisficers’ in 1956. He created the term by combining the words ‘satisfying’ and ‘sufficing’. Simon explainedthat humans need only ‘very simple perceptual and choice mechanisms to satisfy [their] several needs’ and in first considering what they seek to achieve from a certain choice, it is easier to reach a satisfying decision.

Satisficers, therefore, approach a decision with an awareness of their needs and requirements. In doing so, they can select an option that suits and satisfies them.

How can your decision-making ability impact your life?
So, does being a maximizer or a satisficer impact on your overall life experiences and satisfaction? Unsurprisingly, the way you approach decisions can significantly impact how you feel about them.

This concept has been explored by numerous researchers. They have used the maximizers versus satisficers theory to explore how such a state determines an individual’s life satisfaction and attainment.

Bruine de Bruin et al (2007), for example, explored the connection between socioeconomic status, cognitive ability, and decision-making style. The research found that those with a stronger impulse to maximize on their decisions actually obtained worse life outcomes.

A satisficer’s ability to enjoy their decision also comes from the fact that it is based on their own criteria and needs. Whereas, as Starry Peng (2013) points out, maximizers are more likely to base their choice on external choices such as social status, reputation or reviews. The preoccupation with selecting the ‘best’ possible choice, therefore, can often mean that maximizers fail to consider their own needs and desires.

Constantly deliberating over the available options doesn’t necessarily mean that you are satisfied with your overall choice. Yang and Chiou (2010), looked into the decision making processes of those looking at online dating sites. Their study found that the availability of more search options lead to worse choices as it reduced an individual’s cognitive resources, making it harder for them to ignore irrelevant information and screen out unsuitable options.

Embracing what is ‘good enough’
Of course, there is the possibility that individuals can show characteristics of both maximizers and satisficers. Some people love to trawl the internet, investigating the pros and cons of a certain product and feel satisfied that they have chosen the best, fully researched option. The situation isn’t clear cut. However, according to psychologist Barry Schwartz, we have a lot to gain from taking the satisficers’ approach to life.

Schwartz recognizes that freedom of choice can bring autonomy and liberation to people. However, when we’re faced with too much choice, this can lead to reduced happiness and increased anxiety.


In Schwartz’s research, he increasingly found that when faced with an exhaustive amount of options, individuals question their decisions and blame themselves if the option they chose isn’t perfection. Referring to this concept as ‘The Paradox of Choice’, Schwartz encourages us to settle for what is ‘good enough’ rather than always striving for the perfect option.

The terms ‘maximizers’ and ‘satisficers’ help us to gain insight into our own decision-making processes. In a world where choices can seem endless, recognizing that many decisions we make are ‘good enough’ can go a long way in reducing anxiety and increasing our overall life satisfaction.
 
 

 

Lottie Miles

 






 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

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publicado por achama às 04:08
Domingo, 22 / 12 / 19

How to Stop Lying about Everything When You Just Can’t Help Yourself

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted December 21st, 2019.

 
How to Stop Lying about Everything




Honesty is the best policy, and we know that. So, how do we stop lying about any and everything?

There are many types of lies: straight out lies, omissions, “little white lies”, you know, those kinds of lies. But let’s face it, a lie is a lie, now isn’t it, really? Well, yes, but there are two types of liars that are so similar that scientists think they are the same thing. Mental health professionals think differently. These are pathological liars and compulsive liars. Guess what, I agree with the mental health professionals and here’s why…

Pathological vs. Compulsive Lying
Although they are definitely close, these two types of liars are different. Pathological liars seem to lie with a definite motive. Everything they lie about is designed to benefit them in some way, even when the benefit comes after the lies cause the liar problems, which is strange.

Pathological liars also mix truth with lies so the lies are more subtle and believable. So, obviously, pathological liars go to great lengths to not only get what they want but also not get caught.

Compulsive liars, who we are going to focus on today, lie about everything, anything, and at any time and anywhere. There is no clear motive to the lies either. A compulsive liar will lie when there’s no need at all to tell a lie. It’s not like they lie about important situations or things they fear will damage their reputation.

They evenly lie about both important and unimportant things in the same manner with no regard whatsoever about how others see them. It is an uncontrollable urge to lie. It’s almost as easy as breathing. I know someone who does this, by the way. It’s kind of creepy.

If this is you, let’s learn how to stop lying
It may be really difficult to stop compulsive lying considering there’s no motive. However, there are a few things we can try. After all, honesty is important, no matter what the situation. If you cannot be honest, then you cannot be trusted…ever. Let’s start with these few ideas.

1. Are you conscious of your lying?
First of all, you must know whether you actually realize you’re lying in the first place. Do you think you’re telling the truth when you lie? Are people always accusing you of lying and you don’t know why? This can be frightening, to both them and to you. It’s even frightening to me as I think about it.

In order to stop compulsive lying, you have to get to the point where you actually know what you’re doing. Some people do and some, unfortunately, have lied for so long that they think everything they say is the truth, and in turn, think everyone else is the enemy by their accusations. So ask yourself and your friends and family if you are, indeed, a compulsive liar. If they say yes, then listen to them and have an open mind.

2. Stop justifying the lies
Validation of lies only makes lies easier to tell. There is rarely a good reason to tell lies. I’m not saying I’ve never lied, I’m just saying it shouldn’t be an easy thing to do, and you shouldn’t defend your lies either. The larger issue is that most lies were taught by parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and others in the family.

They may have told you to tell lies to save someone’s feelings. If so, you were raised to be a liar….sorry, but it’s the hard cold truth. I was raised this way too. Only in this last decade of my life have I become determined to learn how to be honest even when it was hard. So, put less energy into the justification of lies and more energy into learning how to stop lying the best way you know.

3. Which liar are you? Compulsive or pathological
Also, don’t forget to determine whether you genuinely are a compulsive liar and not a pathological one. While pathological lying is bad, compulsive lying is much harder to break and will probably need the help of a professional. So, before trying to complete all the steps to stop lying, understand 100% which type of liar you are.

4. Figure out why you’re lying
Okay, If you are a compulsive liar, then you’re lying for no apparent reason. So this will be your reason, you’re a compulsive liar. If you are another type of liar, then there is a reason behind the lies you tell. You need to discover the reason if you have one, or else you cannot stop the lying. You will always turn back to being fake instead of being real.

5. Seek help
A compulsive liar, if this is what you are, will need to seek professional help. At some point early in your life, you started this pattern of untruth. It could have been as far back as when you were a small child. If you watched others lie, then you learned that it was a normal thing to do. Of course, this is not true.

Many families actually don’t see telling the truth as normalcy. They live in a backward sort of mentality. If you grew up in a family like this, then it’s perfectly normal to lie – it’s what everyone did. In this case, professional help will be the only thing that turns your life around.

6. Separate yourself from other liars
You can also stop keeping company with other compulsive liars. It may be hard if this includes your family, but you must think about your own well-being. Maybe if you are away from other liars for long enough, you will start to value the truth a bit more.

Hey, we can work together to stop lying
I know I sound mean, and maybe a bit hard on you. But, if it helps you turn your life around, then it’s worth you getting angry with me. If this pertains to someone you know, then I’m glad you have some options to help them. I believe that lying can become addicting just like any drug or alcohol. If you do it for so long, it becomes second nature…which is what I think the basic definition of compulsive lying must be.


If you want to learn how to stop lying, then get started with these tips today.
References
:
  1. https://www.goodtherapy.org
  2. https://www.healthline.com

 
Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 18:41
Domingo, 22 / 12 / 19

What Is Neuro-Linguistic Programming and 6 Signs Someone Is Using It on You

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted December 20th, 2019.

 



 
Did you know that manipulation and influence aren’t the same? One is conducted for selfish reasons, the other, to improve or change. While we know that outright manipulation is a negative thing, we cannot say this 100% about influence. For example, we influence our children in hopes they will become mature and respected adults, right? Yes, and influence can also be used in the workplace to help employees improve on the job. Scientists call this neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), and it can also be used for both good or bad reasons.
 
What is neuro-linguistic programming and where did it come from?
 
NLP is a psychological method that involves using body language, patterns, and expressions to gage and influence someone in one way or the other. This influence is designed to achieve a goal, either negative or positive.
 
Richard Bandler and John Grinder came up with the term “NLP” in the 70s’. Abandoning “talk therapy”, they decided to focus on tactics that bring behavioral change instead, and this is what neuro-linguistic programming was about. In fact, it’s an evolution of certain aspects of hypnotherapy.
 
But unlike hypnotherapy, which requires the subject to be under suggestion while in a trance, NLP uses subtle suggestions on the subconscious mind of a person who is wide awake. And this person never even knows it’s happening.
 
How does it work?
 
By watching slight clues, a person can use NLP to determine a few basic things about another individual. Neuro-linguistic programming looks at nervous movements, skin flush, dilation of pupils, and even the movement of the eyes. These little indicators answer three questions.
  • What sense is the person using? (sight, hearing, smell)
  • Which side of the brain is currently being used
  • How their brain storage works and how they utilize information
 
After these questions are answered, then the NPLer can mimic these. Copying these indicators helps build rapport between the two. In order to “influence” someone, it’s best to be in a sort of agreement with their body language. While it can be difficult to completely change the mindset of another person, you can use NLP to guide them toward a decision they were rolling over in their brains just by copying them.
 
However, this technique can be used on you, and you might not even know it. No matter if its manipulation or influence, it can definitely feel like you’re being unwillingly persuaded if not used in a completely positive manner – a manner that is productive leading to an improvement in your life.
 
Regardless, here are signs that say NLP is being used on you:
 
1. Copying your mannerisms
 
Pay attention to those around you. When you do certain things, or use certain body language, does someone seem to be copying those things? If you’re with a friend, is your friend doing this to you? Watch them.
 
Are they crossing their legs when you do? Are they pushing strands of hair away from their face right after you make this movement? Some people are better at covering these movements than others, but if you really watch, you will catch them.
 
2. They use the magic touch
 
Neuro-linguistic programming enables a person to have what seems to be a magic touch. For instance, if you’re upset about something and they touch your shoulder, and then, later on, they touch your shoulder again and you get upset about the same topic, they have anchored you.
 
According to Bandler and Grinder, this actually works. If you notice it happening, then you know someone is using the NLP technique on you.
 
3. They use vague language
 
If you’ve ever been hypnotized, then you’ve been under the power of vague language. This type of gibberish doesn’t mean anything. It’s used to get you into a certain state of mind. It’s not really nonsense, as far as understanding the actual words, it’s just sentences that seem to say a lot but actually say nothing.
 
Let me see if I can give you an example of this: “I see you are entering the space of your present being and letting go of what you are in the present but repeating the present in order to enter that space.” Whew, that was hard for me to concoct, but hopefully, it made no sense so I could prove my point. Anyway, NLPers use this sort of language.
 
4. The pressure to make quick decisions
 
You will notice that someone is using neuro linguistic programming when you are being pressured to make a quick decision about something. If you’re like me, you need some time to think things over before making many choices. Not everything in life can be a quick yes or no.
 
In fact, along with pressure for quick decision making, you will be pushed ever so slightly toward the answer they want to hear. Watch out, and tell them that you need more time.
5. They use layered language
 
People who are skilled in neuro-linguistic programming use layered language to get what they want. In case you don’t know what layered language is, here’s an example: “I think we should all be productive, sharp, and brave enough to make quick decisions…you know, not like slackers.”
 
Remember, I just mentioned pressuring people about making quick decisions. Well, that layered language will work in two ways, it will pressure you and it will intend to bring about guilt for needing time to think about things. Watch out for hidden tricks within sentences.
 
6. Giving permission to do what they want
 
One of the most interesting signs of those who have undergone NLP training is permission pressure. If you’re the NLPer, then maybe you want someone to give you money. Just say, “Go ahead and let go of your selfish nature. Here, try it with me”, or “Feel free to use me as next first selfless deed.”
 
While these may not be the best decisions, I think you can get the idea of what I’m saying. You’re supposed to think that your interests come first and they are important, but with negative usage of NLP, it’s the opposite.
 
You will know them by the way they give you permission to do what they want. It sounds twisty and it is. They will say, “Feel free to let yourself go and have a good time”, all the while they are getting to take advantage of you. If they happen to have good intentions, then maybe they’re truly trying to help you relax. Either way, be wary of anything like this.
 
Honestly, NLP can be used for good or bad
 
Yes, it’s true, while there are those who try to take advantage of you with neuro-linguistic programming, there are also those who use it to help you become a better person, slightly nudging you toward something you need to do. In this case, it’s a good thing.
 
If you have a good heart, you may want to learn neuro-linguistic programming to help someone. You can learn to detect when something is wrong with someone, or when you need to intervene in order to sway their decision-making process, which is rare but sometimes needed. You see, it can serve as a good tool for many people.
 
However, I will just leave it at this. You should always be aware of your surroundings, no matter what. If someone is your true friend, you will know it soon enough. If you gain the ability to use NLP, make sure you use it for the good of society and not for the bad. Let’s keep moving forward.



Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 18:14
Sexta-feira, 20 / 12 / 19

7 Famous People with Asperger’s Who Made a Difference in the World

Francesca Forsythe.

https://www.learning-mind.com

December 19th, 2019.

 



 
Asperger’s is a common disorder that affects over 37 million people. However, some of those sufferers with Asperger’s are famous people who have made a profound difference in the world.
 
It can be a worry when someone we care about has something which makes them a little different. Asperger’s is a common mental disorder that causes social difficulties, especially in children. This can be a concern for parents as children grow into adulthood. Yet, there are many famous people who suffered from Asperger’s and yet have made overwhelming changes to the world. Some sufferers are people you might not even expect.
 
What Is Asperger’s Syndrome?
 
Asperger’s was removed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders in 2013. Therefore, it does not have what you would call a ‘formal diagnosis’. It is now part of the Autism Spectrum Disorder diagnosis. However, many still associate with the name Asperger’s due to the difference of the syndrome to Autism.
 
The key difference between Autism and Asperger’s is that those with Asperger’s still have a keen interest in others. They want to fit in and make friends. Still, they struggle to do so due to their difficulty with emotion and empathy.
 
Asperger’s is named after Austrian paediatrician Hans Asperger in 1933. He discovered a string of traits in young children. These included:
“a lack of empathy, little ability to form friendships, one-sided conversation, intense absorption in a special interest, and clumsy movements.”
 
Asperger called his young children ‘little professors‘ because they would know a great deal about their favorite topic.
 
Asperger’s is a subtype of autism spectrum disorder. Sufferers are highly functioning, intelligent people but have difficulty in social situations. Those with the disorder struggle to associate with other people and lack emotional insight or comedy. They also may seem awkward or clumsy and may become fixated on certain subjects.
 
Telltale signs are a rigidity to a certain schedule, however unusual, and an oversensitivity to loud noises, bright lights or strong smells.
 
Diagnosing Asperger’s is a difficult process because there is no one test. Instead, psychologists will look for evidence of symptoms from quite a long list in order to diagnose. A proper diagnosis will take several factors into account. For example, the relative strength and frequency of these symptoms as well as interactions with others.
 
There are many famous people with Asperger’s, or at least considered to have it due to their behaviors. Below we have a list of famous people who are believed to have Asperger’s. This diverse list can prove that Asperger’s is really something that gives you a little extra potential.
 
7 Famous People with Asperger’s
 
Sir Isaac Newton (1643 – 1727)
 
 
Sir Isaac Newton is one of the greatest minds in math and physics. He revolutionized the field with his three laws of motion. Nonetheless, he could be a jerk at times. However, recently, psychologists have theorized that Newton may have been struggling with Asperger’s. Reports suggest that Newton was not good with people, despite his mighty intelligence.
 
Thomas Jefferson (1743 – 1826)
 
 
Thomas Jefferson has been one of the most controversial suggestions when it comes to famous people with Asperger’s. This suggestion is due to his discomfort in public speaking. Those who knew him also said that he had difficulty relating to others. Likewise, he was sensitive to loud noises and kept strange routines. Although this is mere speculation, the evidence points strongly to Asperger’s syndrome.
 
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756 – 1791)

 
Of all the famous people with Asperger’s, Mozart is arguably one of the biggest. Most psychologists are in agreement that Mozart suffered from Asperger’s. Or at least fell somewhere on the autism spectrum. He was sensitive to loud noises and had an incredibly short attention span. Although not confirmed, this leads many to believe he had Asperger’s.
 
Andy Warhol (1928 – 1987)
 
Andy Warhol is one of the most famed artists of the 60s and 70s. Although not formally diagnosed, professionals have pointed to his odd relationships and many of his eccentric behaviors to make an informal diagnosis of the syndrome.
 
Sir Anthony Hopkins (1937 – )
 
One of the most famous actors of the 21st Century, Sir Anthony Hopkins, shot to stardom as Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lambs. Hopkins has reported that he has high-end Asperger’s which affects his socialization skills. He considered that the condition made him look at people differently but that he thinks it helped him as an actor.
 
Bill Gates (1955 – )
 
Bill Gates has been considered to have Asperger’s Syndrome for years. He is eccentric and has seen to have a habit of rocking and difficulty accepting criticisms. Many consider this to be indicative of the syndrome. Although a formal diagnosis has never been publicized, Mr. Gates remains a hero of the Asperger’s community.
 
Tim Burton (1958 – )
 
We know the American film director, producer, writer and animator Tim Burton for his quirky films such as Corpse Bride and The Planet of the Apes. However, his former long term partner has suggested that Burton displays many symptoms of Asperger’s Syndrome. She noted that he is highly intelligent but lacks social skills, which is indicative of the disorder.
Final Thoughts
 
It can be a little scary to find out someone we care about may have Asperger’s. When faced with this, it is important to remember that it doesn’t change who that person is. They are still perfectly capable of becoming incredibly successful adults. They might even be more successful than your average person.
 
Some of the most famous people suspected to be diagnosed with Asperger’s have been the most impactful people in history. This just goes to show that we are capable of anything, no matter who we are or what makes us different.


References:
  1. allthatsinteresting.com
  2. www.theguardian.com
 


 


Francesca Forsythe





 

About the Author: Francesca Forsythe

Francesca is a freelance writer currently studying a degree in Law and Philosophy. She has written for several blogs in a range of subjects across Lifestyle, Relationships and Health and Fitness. Her main pursuits are learning new innovative ways of keeping fit and healthy, as well as broadening her knowledge in as many areas as possible in order to achieve success.
 
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 


 
A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
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Alternative to YouTube
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 


All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 
 

 
 
Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily
 
 
 
 
 
 
Free counters!

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publicado por achama às 17:05
Sexta-feira, 20 / 12 / 19

FOBO: The Reason You Struggle with Making Decisions and How to Overcome It.

Lottie Miles.

learning-mind.com

Posted December 18th, 2019.

 
fobo.

 


I’m sure that you have all heard of Fomo, or the ‘fear of missing out’, but have you heard about the ‘fear of better options’ (Fobo)? Fobo is consuming many of our thought patterns and affecting our behavior for the worst. The more anxious sister of Fomo, Fobo is attributed as the reason why some of us struggle to make even the simplest of decisions.

In this post, we take a closer look at the reasons behind Fobo. We will also give you some helpful steps to overcome the difficulties you may be having with making decisions.

What Is Fobo?

The freedom of choice we have access to in the modern world is indeed a privilege. However, with so many things to choose from, it can lead us to make no decisions at all. This is what the fear of better options relates to. In other words, when we are faced with a multitude of options, the fear of missing out on the best one leads us to a state of indecision.

The term Fobo was coined by the US venture capitalist Patrick McGinnis, who also came up with the term Fomo. According to McGinnis, Fobo is the “coping mechanism” we use to deal with the fear of making the wrong decision in case if “something better comes along”. However, the persistence of Fobo in our lives can lead to not only a general dissatisfaction in our own life, but also cause our friends, family, and colleagues to despair with us also.

McGinnis defines Fobo as being an “affliction of affluence” and is, therefore, restricted to the privileged who have the benefit of power and money to give them so many options. This is an affliction, therefore, that can also be used by large corporations, as well as individuals, as a justification for “not doing something”.

Discussion around the demotivating power of choice is not entirely new. Iyengar and Lepper’s study in 2000 concluded that individuals who had fewer options derived greater satisfaction from the decisions they made.

The concept of ‘maximizers’ and ‘satisficers’ has also been a popular phenomenon in psychology when discussing individuals’ approaches to decision making. ‘Maximizers’ are those that base their decisions on the maximum benefit later on. Whereas ‘satisficers’ settle for a decision based on more modest criteria (and less research).

The lack of commitment that maximizers show to their decisions, according to Joyce Erlinger from Florida State University, makes them less satisfied with their choices in the long term.

How to Overcome Fobo?
If the concept of Fobo is ringing true for you, then fear not. There are some steps you can take to improve your decision making power and overcome the constant fear of what better options are waiting for you around the corner. Here are some tips to set you in the right direction:
1. Recognize that you can never be aware of all your options
While it is normal to want to select the best option in all areas of your life, it is helpful to recognize that it’s impossible to examine all of the potential options available. Acknowledging this fact is a key part of beginning your journey to be released from the restraint of Fobo. It can also be beneficial to acknowledge that there may be multiple ‘best’ options. So, in making a decision, you’re one step closer to getting one of those.

2. Be clear about what it is you want
Fobo can lead to hours of research and deliberation. This results in a spiral of indecision, confusion and, ultimately, frustration. To overcome this, try making a set of clear criteria of what you want to get out of your decision. Make sure you restrict yourself to 3 or 4 criteria. Once you have found those criteria in an option, go for it.
3. Be honest with yourself
McGinnis states that an element of Fobo can derive from resistance to, or fear of, saying no to something. We may delay our decision by giving a tentative ‘maybe’ to an option which, when you’re honest with yourself, you know is not right for you. To prevent delaying the negative, saying no immediately can prevent the escalation of Fobo.
4. Set yourself a time limit
Your indecisiveness does not only affects your own experiences, but it can also influence those around you. Waiting for a decision can be a stressful time for others. Not to mention putting you in the bad books with those closest to you. Setting yourself a time limit to make a decision can be an effective way to improve your decision-making ability, and lead to greater satisfaction with your choices.

For instance, you’ve been given a few options for a Friday night but are worried about choosing the best option. In this instance, giving yourself a time limit of Wednesday to decide ensures that you can enjoy your weekend and prevent annoying your friends.
Final Thoughts

Having a fear of better options (Fobo) can have serious effects on your ability to enjoy your life. Never making a decision may result in you missing out on fun opportunities or important life chances. Fortunately, it is possible to tackle this obsession with finding perfection by following our simple steps.
 

 

Lottie Miles

 






 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
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Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

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Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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publicado por achama às 02:27
Quinta-feira, 19 / 12 / 19

What Is Empathy, What Are the Types and Why Do We Need It?

By Valerie Soleil.

learning-mind.com.

Posted December 18th, 2019. 

 




 
“I think we all have empathy. We may not have enough courage to display it.” – Maya Angelou
 
 
The term empathy was first introduced to the English language by American psychologist E.B. Titchener. He coined the term after translating the German counterpart “Einfühlung”. However, he was referring to the phenomena of motor mimicry. This is where someone is directing mimicking another’s actions.
 
What Is Empathy?
 
The term we know and use today is very different. Empathy can be tricky to define since it covers a broad area. While it is hard to define, many can agree on one common opinion; it is an automatic mental response to someone else’s actions, thought process, or emotions.
 
Simply put, empathy is the ability to fully comprehend or experience other people’s thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Ever heard the phrase “walk a mile in someone’s shoes”? This is referring to empathy.
 
What Is the Difference Between Sympathy and Empathy?
 
These terms are different in reality, however, they are often used interchangeably in speech.
 
Although they seem very similar, there is a very clear distinction between empathy and sympathy. Sympathy is when you share the feelings of another person which can relate to feelings and emotions.
 
“A distinction is maintained between self and other. Sympathy involves the experience of being moved by, or responding in tune with, another person.” – Hodges and Myers
 
Empathy is when you fully understand the feelings of another but do not always share or feel them. However, sometimes empathy can lead to shared feelings and emotions.
 
“Empathy is often defined as understanding another person’s experience by imagining oneself in that other person’s situation: One understands the other person’s experience as if it were being experienced by the self, but without the self actually experiencing it.” – Hodges and Myers
 
What Is the Difference Between Empathy and Empaths?
 
Empathy is the ability to read and appreciate another person. It can be a tough situation they are going through or simply understanding their points of view in a conversation. At times you can feel their emotions, but this isn’t always the case.
 
Empaths are susceptibly emotional people. They experience high levels of understanding when it comes to reading another person’s emotional state of being. As a consequence, this usually translates into directly sharing the emotions of someone else.
 
Their intense empathy creates a shared emotional understanding. Where an empath strongly feels the emotions of people around them, this can be a one on one experience or in a large crowd. Many people who are empaths are unaware. They simply accept that they are sensitive to the energy around them. Or that they feel more emotions than the average person.
 
Empaths can tune into another living being’s experience intuitively, whether they know they are doing so or not. Some empaths can even experience the energy of all living things like plants and animals.
 
It sounds cool being an empath. However, people who do not understand it are left feeling drained, or over-energized. All without even realizing what happened. However, if you learn to accept your over-emotional empathic energy, you can manage or even harness it.

  • What Are the Types of Empathy?
  • Cognitive Empathy
  • Emotional Empathy
  • Compassionate Empathy

 
There are three different types of empathy. Some people are better at understanding one type. However, you can develop all three. If you can you are on your way to becoming an emotionally intelligent human being.
 
A person high in perspective-taking may be good at understanding others’ points of view. Yet they might be prone to emotional cues. Or, an emotionally developed person could be good at experiencing emotional states.
 
Usually, we can all appreciate each type on some level. The key is to keep an open mind when communicating. Then you can deeply relate to another person.
 
Cognitive Empathy
 
Cognitive empathy is the ability to understand someone’s thought process. It makes us better communicators. This is because it helps us recognize the best way to communicate. In addition, we can relate to someone in their own words, so to speak.
 
This refers to the ability to comprehend what a person might be thinking on a level others cannot. You can develop this level of empathy by simply asking the question “What is the other person going through? How are they thinking in this situation”?
 
This type can be a huge advantage. Especially when you find yourself needing to “get inside another person’s head”. This trait is perfect for leadership roles, undergoing negotiations, or trying to manage a large group. However, those who react purely with this type can seem cold or unattached since it does not invoke feelings or emotions.
 
Emotional Empathy
 
This is affective empathy. It is the ability to share the feelings of someone else. This type helps you build emotional relationships with others. This refers to the ability to recognize the feelings of another person through an emotional connection. It answers the question: “How does the other person feel?”
 
Have you ever been watching a sad movie and found yourself crying? This is the most basic example of emotional empathy. Most of us have this emotional capacity on some level. However, it can be challenging to speak to a person you might not like very much and still be able to feel emotional empathy for them.
 
Emotional empathy is wonderful but like anything, it can have its downside. One downside of this type occurs when people lack the ability to manage their own emotions as well as the overwhelming amount of emotions they feel when communicating with other people. It can lead to a feeling of burn out and exhaustion.
 
Compassionate Empathy
 
This is empathic concern. This usually is the most intense version of empathy. Actually, it goes far beyond simply feeling or understanding the emotions of others. This is usually what drives people to volunteer, take action or help all living beings in any way possible.
 
Have you have ever experienced the real agony of seeing an animal on the street, or a child being abused and felt this strong urge to do something? This is compassionate empathy. The main question asked is: “What can I do to help?”
 
This particular kind uses your emotional intelligence to help a situation. It invokes not only an emotional response but also intellectual problem-solving.
 
This type is so vital, especially in today’s society. This is because it involvesaction. Typically invoking the first two types of empathy as well. If you can truly understand and share the feelings of another being, you can help them on a deeper level.
 
Why Do We Experience Empathy?
 
Now let’s get down to the nitty-gritty of why we have the capability of empathy in the first place. We have something called “mirror neurons”. These fire when animals or humans observe and experience emotion in others. This was a huge breakthrough in the field of neuroscience. In fact, it gave us a great understanding of why we feel empathy.
 
Empathy is an adaptation that we essentially needed to evolve. Evolution teaches us that specialized neurobiological mechanisms in the prefrontal cortex have evolved in humans. They not only perceive but also predict and respond accordingly. This is why different types exist. But also why we need to be able to comprehend and utilize all three of them.
 
Why Do We Need It?
 
“When you show deep empathy toward others, their defence energy goes down and positive energy replaces it. That’s when you can get more creative in solving problems.”- Stephen Covey
 
Try this experiment the next time you are stuck in traffic or waiting in line for something. Take a serious look at the people around you and imagine who they might be, what kind of lives do they live? What they might be thinking at this very moment? Are they frustrated? Happy? Bored? Try to really consider the state of this person. This will help put yourself in their shoes and will help to develop empathy.
 
Empathy is very important when it comes to building genuine relationships with others. Start with your family or significant other. Because if you can’t connect with the most important people in your life, then who can you connect with?
 
Empathy from a global perspective is so crucial. In society, we are often taught to look out for number one, pursue our own goals, whatever the cost might be. And yes, self-care and goals are important. However, we need to stop looking at ourselves as separate from others. We should start looking at ourselves as one. Because after all, we are all the same at the end of the day. Each person experiences the same struggles, joys, pain, and love that we do.
 
Empathy is what pushes people to help when there are major disasters. Ordinary people are willing to help strangers. Not only because they feel a profound level of compassion towards them. But also because they know if the roles were reversed, others would help them. Without it, the world would be a much darker place to live.
 
 
Empathy is so significant for human connection. Likewise, human connections are what contribute to a happy, healthy life. It really does make the world go ‘round.
 
How to Be More Empathetic in Relationships
 
The key factors to empathic interactions are listening and understanding.
 
Most of us have this terrible habit of talking at people instead of actually talking to them. We say our piece and for us, the conversation is over. Then, while the other person is speaking, we are already thinking about what we want to say next instead of listening to what is coming out of their mouths.
 
Actively listening means that you are trying not to judge the other person. You are actually listening without interrupting or formulating a response.
 
Healthy relationships require patience, nurturing and thoughtfulness. A relationship that lacks empathy typically won’t last. This is because both sides aren’t receiving what they truly need. When people only think of their own interests, they have nothing else to offer another person.
 
By striving to understand someone’s needs you can build a strong foundation for a lasting relationship. This is so important when building a romantic relationship with a partner.
 
 
The workplace may be one of the most difficult places for empathetic relationships to develop. Mainly as many people tend to separate their personal feelings from the workplace. However, a successful work environment usually requires teamwork. So, it’s important to utilize empathy in the workplace. Without it, it’s much easier to fall into disagreements. In the long run, this can make a workplace a very hostile place to be.
 
This can also be applied to managing others. Bosses who lack empathy are likely to have miserable employees. In addition, their work will suffer because of it. It has been proven that people work better from praise and acknowledgements then they do from fear and punishment.
 
By actively practising empathy in the workplace, we can inspire others to work harder. Only then can they can contribute their unique needs and talents.
 
Teaching empathy is so important in early childhood. Especially when responding to a child’s needs and emotions. Children continue to develop empathy when they see their parents or caregivers practising it. This is because children mimic not only actions but also feelings and emotions from the people around them.
 
This is a very common trait that sociopaths lack. They never learned to develop empathy or solid relationships at a young age. As a result, they lack the ability to develop it later in life.
 
Final Thoughts
 
Self-awareness and a non-judgmental attitude are needed before you can properly empathize with someone else. Look within yourself and find the strength to understand we are all connected. It doesn’t matter what is on the outside. At the core, every person is experiencing life in a similar way.
 
Empathy can not only strengthen your relationships but it will genuinely make you a better human being. One who leads a happy productive life.
 
References:

Valerie Soleil


 



 
About the Author: Valerie Soleil


Valerie Soleil is a writer with over 5 years of experience and holds a bachelor degree in law and a B.A. in Psychology. She is a physical & mental health enthusiast who constantly expands her knowledge about the mysteries of the human body and mind. Some of the activities Valerie is particularly passionate about are traveling and reading because they help her broaden her horizons.
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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publicado por achama às 05:38
Quarta-feira, 18 / 12 / 19

How to Master Self-Discipline in Your Life with 7 Tips

 

By Selenha Tomas 

Guest Authorlearning-mind.com

December 16th, 2019

 

Self-discipline.
 


Self-discipline is one thing we all struggle with. From eating “just one more” doughnut to waking up late every morning. It is all a matter of how self-disciplined we are, and it can be applied to all fields of life.

Some people like to live their lives by the book, and they are natural talents when it comes to self-discipline. But for the rest of us, it is like a skill. As such, it is something that we can learn and strive to master from early childhood.

Why Do We Need Self-Discipline?
The problem is, even though we have been introduced to the concept of self-discipline from early childhood, if you are not ready to fully commit to it, it does not get much easier with age. When we were kids, our mothers did not allow us to eat sweets before lunch. As adults, we can eat whatever we want whenever, but that does not mean we should. So instead of having a parent who will hide all the candies, now we have to hide them from ourselves.

Power of will, self-control, you can call it whatever you like, it is one of the key features of every successful person. The good news is that it can be taught. Even if you were not so great with it as a child or teen, it is never too late. Not only can you take over control of your life, but you can also learn how to be, and stay, self-disciplined.

We gathered here some of the most useful tips for becoming a true master. So, if you feel ready to make a change, keep on reading.
Tips on Mastering Self-Discipline
1. Set Your Goals


What are your goals? Do you want to eat better, sleep more, study harder, run faster, or be more productive at work? You have to know where you are going and what you want first. Only then can you create a list of things you need to do in order to reach your goal. It is all based on practice and developing healthy habits.

In the beginning, it is never going to be easy. However, after a while, your established routine is not going to be so annoying. In fact, it is going to become something you will do without thinking too much about it. Start writing a weekly planner and make a schedule which you will follow.
2. Acknowledge Your Weaknesses
Whether it is a slice of pizza at 11 PM, binge-watching, or procrastinating your work tasks, keep it real and be aware of your weaknesses. This is the only way to overcome them. Stop making excuses and start spending your time more wisely.

Bad habits are so tempting, and it is so easy to cheat. But think about the time and energy you are wasting. Instead of ordering fast food, put that money away and save it for travelling. Find something good to replace your unhealthy cravings.

3. Baby Steps
Many people tend to start some big changes from Monday or next week. But the thing is, you should not introduce all the changes at once. This is because you can not successfully turn your entire life upside down in one day.

Start with those changes that are doable. Slowly, make adjustments without putting too much pressure on yourself. Then gradually introduce new rituals or tasks. Eventually, you will get the result you wanted. There are no shortcuts. Self-discipline is like a learning process. Therefore, if you want to pass it, you have to go through all the stages.
4. Healthy Habits


Regardless of what your goals are, you should not forget about two essential things, sleeping and eating well. These two are the base, the core of self-discipline. So if you are not eating healthy or sleeping enough, you cannot consider yourself for a self-disciplined person.

These two are especially important for people who are trying to lose weight. But also in general, poor sleeping habits can trigger an eating disorder, insomnia, REM sleep behaviour disorder, and plenty of other things that will get on your way.
5. The Power of Will
It is all in your head. You are your biggest competitor. Likewise, the only boundaries that exist are the ones in your head. If you believe that you can not do this or that, then you probably are not going to be able to do it.

This willpower is based on our beliefs. As a result, it can either hinder our success or enhance it, depending on our inner beliefs. This can be tricky. For start, it has a lot to do with self-esteem, rational thinking, and personal subconscious obstacles.

6. Plan “B”
In general, it is always good to have a backup plan. But in situations like this, when you are trying so hard to change yourself, any small failure can be discouraging. That is why it is always good to have a plan B.

If you know that you are going to be in a tempting situation, think in advance. Put together ideas on how to stay in your lane, without breaking your rules. This type of strategy is something that psychologists like to call implementation intentions.
7. Treat Yourself
It is good to have small milestones and to reward yourself to boost your motivation. But that reward should not consist of things you are fighting against. For example, junk food, or playing video games the entire night. An idea of a reward waiting for you will give you the strength to continue. This is because a reward system is a powerful tool for success, and it will keep you focused on your goal.
Final Thoughts
People are creatures of habit, and somehow we tend to love the bad ones, especially. However, we should not allow our habits to control us. Our guide contains some general steps and tips that can be applied to any life situation which requires self-discipline. We hope it will help many of you. All those things you already know, but you never actually tried them.

Remember, all good things take time. So instead of rushing into changes, and then giving up on everything even quicker, take some time, be patient, be stubborn, and do it right. Don’t forget that once you establish your self-discipline, you need to nourish and maintain it because it will always depend on your mindset.

 

 

 
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Selena Thomas is a content writer from Counting Sheep who loves sharing tips on healthy lifestyles. A writer by day and a reader by night, she’s fond of writing articles that can help people in improving both physical and mental health. Also, she loves travelling and inspires people on her blogs.

 

 

 

 

COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.

 



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publicado por achama às 03:16
Terça-feira, 17 / 12 / 19

6 Unexpected Ways to Relieve Stress, According to Science

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

December 16th, 2019.

 


 


Stress seems to be just a part of life these days. Whether it’s at work or at home, or on the commute between the two, stress can be unavoidable. A little stress is natural, but when it weighs on us heavily, it can be dangerous for our health. High stress increases our susceptibility to all sorts of dangerous health conditions. Knowing the best ways to relieve stress can be lifesaving.

Sometimes, when the usual techniques aren’t enough, you have to try some more unexpected ways to relieve that stress.

Unexpected Ways to Relieve Stress

Put on A Fake Smile


It seems there is some science behind the idea that you can “fake it ‘til you make it”. Smiling is a way to relieve stress and it works by convincing your body that you aren’t stressed at all. When you smile, you create the face shapes we naturally make when we’re happy. When you’re faking it, you trick your brain into reducing your stress levels. While it’s not recommended to hide your feelings, sometimes, you just have to get through it.

This study has proven that when we smile through stressful situations the intensity of our stress response will reduce. It is especially beneficial for our cardiovascular systems, including the heart. In this particular study, they also tested different kinds of smiles. They showed that full-face smiles, known as a Duchenne smile, are an even more beneficial way to relieve stress.

Some scientists also explain that our brains are wired for socializing. Mirror neurons in our brains make us want to recreate what other people do. This means what if we see another smile, we want to do it too. We can use our smile as a way of relieving the stress of others. By flashing someone a bright smile and letting them do it back, you might be helping them through a tough time.
Look at Fractals

Our brains love soothing patterns, but did you know they were a great, and rather unexpected, way to relieve stress? A fractal is a pattern that repeats identically or at least similarly. These could be created in paintings or drawings, like a mandala. Fractals can also be seen in nature, in places such as leaves, snowflakes, and seashells.

A number of studies have been done by tracking eye movements and using fMRI scans to show our biological response to fractals. They’ve proven that simply looking at fractals is a good way to relieve stress and can even reduce it by up to 60%.

There’s still some confusion about why this relieves stress, but some scientists suggest it should be due to the subconscious concentration that they require, or the repetition involved. Repetition is a great way to relieve stress naturally.


Use Your Thumbs
Unexpected is definitely the operative word. You can actually use your thumbs to relieve your stress. Doctors believe that if you put your thumb in your mouth and seal it, then blow, you can calm yourself down.

The theory goes that this will activate your Vagus Nerve, which is connected to your nervous system, responsible for the stress response. By blowing out in this way, you can reduce your heart rate and blood pressure, which are both heavily affected by stress. This way to relieve stress can even help to treat mild mood disorders.

If you aren’t in a position to put your whole thumb in your mouth, there is also a way to relieve stress by simply blowing on it. Your thumb has its own pulse, so by cooling it down, you can slow your heart rate and feel calmer.

Even eastern medicine has a way to relieve stress using your thumb. Apply pressure, using your thumb, on the side of your middle finger. Do this right at the base of your finger, where it meets your knuckle. This method is said to activate a nerve which loosens the muscles around the heart, helping you to relax.

Chew Gum

There have been countless studies done that show that chewing gum is a great way to relieve stress. The researched showed reduced stress, fatigue, anxiety, and depression in the participants. These studies involved collecting data and samples from volunteers, including saliva, before and after they took on stressful tasks, with and without chewing gum. The results showed measurable differences in their stress levels.

Ancient societies are also known to have chewed as a way to relieve stress. The Mayans and the Greeks would chew tree sap.
Do Some Chores

Deep down, we all know that procrastinating only creates more stress, but it doesn’t stop us from doing it. Research has now shown that putting off tasks is bad for our health! Cleaning, in particular, can be a great way to relieve stress. This study recommends washing dishes. Despite finding it hard to motivate ourselves to do it, once we start cleaning, our stress levels do decrease rapidly.

Scientists believe this could be down to the repetitive nature of the movements that cleaning requires. When we repeat an easy action over and over again, we start to do it on autopilot, allowing our minds to switch off and rest.

Sometimes, the world can seem a little out of control. Scientists have suggested that cleaning and organizing our own spaces can help us to feel some element of control. Finding a sense of control is a good way to relieve stress.

Be Near Plants


We all know that being in nature is a great way to relieve stress, but studies show that simply being in the presence of a plant is good enough. A study carried out at Washington State University proved that having plants around makes workers more productive and feel more focused on their work. They even recorded participants’ blood pressure lowering in the presence of plants.

Studies have shown that employees’ attendance rates rose when plants were introduced to the workplace and they often report feeling that the space was larger.

A study has also been carried out into the effects of plants on hospital patients’ healing. The presence of plants in a medical environment improves patients’ well-being and does help to speed up recovery. Even seeing photos of plants relieve stress.

Scientists have theorized that plants are a way to relieve stress because of their association with fractals and their ability to improve air quality.

As you have seen from the above, stress can be relieved in many ways, no matter how incredible they may sound at first. Do you have your own tricks that help you cope with daily stress and release tension? Share them with us in the comments below!

References:
  1. https://www.forbes.com
  2. https://www.scientificamerican.com

Becky Storey
 

 




 

About the Author: Becky Storey


 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 05:25
Sábado, 14 / 12 / 19

10 Signs of Unresolved Trauma from Your Childhood and How to Deal with It

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted December 12th, 2019.

 
Unresolved Trauma Childhood.

 
 
Dealing with unresolved trauma isn’t as simple as trying to be more positive. This kind of trauma goes deep with its roots.
 
I seem to always be talking about trauma, abuse or some other unresolved issues. By now, you’d think I’d been cured of all my problems, but I’m not. My traumas run deep, and for a couple of stages of my life, I pushed them back, repressing what happened to me.
 
This isn’t healthy, but it’s a common defense system when you’ve gone through trauma. This could be what your loved ones are feeling and more.
 
Life-lasting effects of childhood trauma
 
When we experience traumatic things during childhood, some of us think it’s a part of the normal process of life. When I was abused, I actually thought it was supposed to happen, that is until I grew old enough to know the difference.
 
Unresolved issues concerning trauma don’t rear their ugly heads until we’re older, as with my situation, so we learn so much as we grow. Not everything we learn is positive. If someone you love has repressed childhood trauma, there are signs you can see and some just waiting beneath the surface.
 
As unresolved childhood trauma can affect the future, it’s best to find solutions to at least some of these issues.
 
10 ways to recognize unresolved trauma in your loved ones
 
1. You have no joy
 
If your friend’s childhood trauma has not been resolved, then they’ll have a difficult time feeling joy. Things that should make them look forward to tomorrow will have them dreading it instead.
 
Your friend may be able to feel a form of joy, however, or even be able to feed off some of the joy of others, but they will not have the pure joy of their own which comes from true happiness.
 
2. Trust issues
 
I can personally attest that I do not trust many people. And yes, I do have some unresolved issues from my childhood trauma. Trust is hard to have when your trust was broken in abuse. Whether your loved one was neglected or beaten, they saw people as bad and they lost trust in them.
 
If someone you love has trust issues, there could have been some terrible trauma in their past.
 
3. Nightmares
 
Boy, I must have many unresolved issues from my past traumas because I have nightmares or weird dreams every night. Yes, having nightmares on a regular basis could be a sign that your boyfriend or girlfriend has things from childhood that they haven’t faced. This could be any sort of abuse or neglect. Since these roots run deep, the nightmares are probably filled with vivid detail.
 
Sometimes they can be so disturbing they ruin sleep completely, leaving the one you love sweating and gasping for breath. To be honest, I had a nightmare so terrible one time that I woke screaming. So yeah, those bad dreams, they could very well be telling you something important about your loved one’s past.
 
4. Self-harm
 
Cutters aren’t just kids, well teens. Some adults resort to self-harm or self-mutilation. Adults, however, don’t always cut. Sometimes, they starve themselves, scratch sores on their skin or even pull out their hair.
 
These signs could be medical conditions as well, but you might want to do a bit of research into the past. Try to find out if these acts of self-violence come from negative childhood events. They could.
 
5. Extreme anger
 
Many times, those who have anger problems are either dealing with something extremely stressful now, or they could be exhibiting a release from the trauma of the past.
 
Unresolved trauma from the past builds and builds anger during our lifetime, even if we push it back and try to forget. It still festers until the trauma is faced. This extreme anger can damage others as well as actually affect health and shorten the lifespan. It can surely be one of the signs that something happened long ago.
 
6. Fears
 
Have you ever noticed someone get suddenly afraid for no logical reason? That’s because something has triggered that response.
 
 
When there are unresolved issues from the past, this fear will surface many times, and in strange situations. There may not seem like anything could possibly go wrong, but previous victims can still have fear.
 
7. Panic attacks
 
Whether your friend has an anxiety disorder or not, panic attacks can be a sure sign that there are unresolved issues. Panic attacks do happen randomly, but they are also triggered by something that reminds them of their childhood.
 
Panic attacks cause increased heart rate, hyperventilating, and other symptoms. Watch for these symptoms.
 
8. Avoiding people
 
It’s okay to be an introvert, but avoiding people all the time, and sometimes rarely leaving your home is just not normal. Something is going on that needs to be addressed.
 
This behavior could be the result of something traumatic that happened in childhood. If someone can’t be around people, then people cannot help them. They can even start to experience dissociation episodes as well.
 
9. Hypervigilance
 
Hypervigilance is always being on guard no matter how safe the surroundings may be. If your loved one wakes up expecting something negative is going to happen, and they go throughout the day thinking the same thing, they will remain in that fight or flight syndrome. This elevated state of being can be damaging to their health.
10. Addictions
 
Another sign of unresolved trauma is falling into addictive behavior. Everyone knows about addiction to alcohol and drugs, but there are many other things that can become an addiction.
 
 
If your loved one’s childhood was traumatic, they probably think about it more than they should. Sometimes these thoughts are just too hard to handle, and some turn to various addictions.
 
Unresolved issues from your childhood can be addressed
 
When you’re dealing with friends and loved ones who have unresolved pain and heartache from their childhood, you have to be careful and considerate. It might take you a while to understand what’s going on, and you may make mistakes when trying to help them, but it’s okay.
 
The best way to deal with unresolved and painful childhood trauma is to follow a few steps.
 
Talk to your loved one. Learn about what happened if they are willing to open up to you.
 
If there are unresolved issues, work together to figure out how to solve those issues. If you can’t help, seek the help of a professional who has a better understanding of unresolved childhood trauma.
 
Don’t be judgemental and never tell them how someone else easily healed from trauma. That can make them feel even worse.
 
Be a friend. Be a true friend, and coax them to do anything positive that you can.
 
Be as kind as possible, and don’t do anything extra that makes them even more hyper-vigilant. Learn their triggers and avoid them.
 
Slowly and carefully help them get used to a few people at a time.
 
 
Any trauma can be resolved with the right help
 
I’ve provided a few ways to help people who suffer from negative events from childhood. The most important part of this healing is getting to the root of what happened. That’s why you do the first tip from above and open up a dialogue with them.
 
If you feel like you don’t understand what they’re going through, get educated. After all, helping each other and learning how to do that is extremely important.
 
Remember, those who’ve suffered need hope. So, let’s help them keep it.



Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 03:24
Quarta-feira, 04 / 12 / 19

Foreign Accent Syndrome: a Curious and Extremely Rare Brain Condition

Lottie Miles.

learning-mind.com

Posted December 3rd, 2019.

 
Foreign Accent Syndrome.

 

 
 
Foreign Accent Syndrome (FAS) is a rare speech disorder that can happen after a head injury, stroke, or some other form of damage to the brain and sees you suddenly start speaking with a different accent beyond your control.
 
This condition is extremely rare, with only around 100 people known to have been diagnosed since the first recorded case in 1907. But what causes this little known condition that causes the adoption of a new accent and the loss of part of a person’s identity in the process?
 
In this post, we will look at what the different explanations for Foreign Accent Syndrome are, its symptoms, how it gets diagnosed, and what treatment options you have if FAS strikes.
 
What Is Foreign Accent Syndrome?
 
FAS is characterized by the patient taking on a new accent to their native language, with examples more common amongst speakers of English as a native language but not restricted to English speakers.
 
FAS can involve changes in pronunciation, grammar, and vocabulary as well as changes in phonological intonation. It is important to note that the person’s voice sounds foreign both to themselves and the person they are speaking to.
 
What Are the Causes?
 
As already mentioned, FAS is usually caused by some form of stress caused to the brain causing a brain lesion. Specifically, when there is damage to the left-hand side of the brain in the Broca’s area which is linked to speech production, there is a heightened risk of FAS.
 
However, more recently, a study by McWhirtner et al. for the BMJ found there may also be a psychological component to the disorder. Indeed, even when there has been structural damage to the brain, this study found that psychology could also be involved.
 
The medical literature breaks FAS down into 3 main types which each have unique characteristics:
  1. Neurogenic (eg. linked to structural damage caused to the brain from things like a stroke, brain injury, aneurysms, etc.)
  2. Psychogenic (eg. where there is no apparent structural damage to the brain but where the person may have suffered emotional or mental stress or psychological or psychiatric disorders such as schizophrenia)
  3. Mixed (where there is structural damage to the brain but there seems to be a psychogenic component).
What Are the Symptoms of Foreign Accent Syndrome?
 
Examples of FAS include a British lady called Julia Matthias who started speaking with an accent somewhere between French and Chinese after she was involved in a car accident. An American woman suffered a headache one night and woke up speaking in a combination of British, Irish and Australian accents.
 
However, cases have also been reported of a 44-year-old Japanese lady speaking with a Korean accent and a Spanish person taking on a Hungarian one.
 
Other common symptoms include things like:
  • Difficulty pronouncing certain sound clusters, particularly consonant clusters, such as S-P-L in words like “Splash”
  • Vowels and consonants may be reduced, made simpler, or appear unarticulated or broken.
  • Intonation and stress on words may become more frequent, ie. rather than highlighting some words through stress or tone, someone with FAS may highlight every word
  • Sounds requiring the tongue to tap against the roof of your mouth can become problematic
  • The “uh” sound can frequently be added within words
 
Can This Syndrome Be Medically Diagnosed?
 
If you notice symptoms like the ones above or any other changes in your normal speech, it is a good idea to seek medical help. Changes in the way you speak can be a sign of more serious issues so you should not put off seeing a doctor when you notice a change. Doctors can diagnose FAS using a variety of tools, such as SPECT, PET, MRI or CT scans which provide detailed images of activity inside your brain.
 
As mentioned, FAS is incredibly rare. For this reason, if you do present with symptoms, you will need to see a variety of specialists to confirm a diagnosis. A speech and language pathologist can record your new accent and look into where the changes have occurred in order to rule out other types of speaking disorder.
 
A neurologist can interpret the CT and MRI scans, whilst a psychologist can help you deal with the potential emotional stress caused by the changes and seek to explore any psychological causes of FAS.
 
Going to sleep and waking up with a new accent can have a profound effect on people’s sense of self and make it feel like they have lost a vital part of their own identity. Indeed, the accent can sound strange and be unconnected to our class, educational level, and where we come from so it is easy to see how challenging this can be.
 
Can Foreign Accent Syndrome Be Treated?
 
Given the 3 different variants of FAS, there is a range of treatment options that people can try. In terms of targeting psychogenic causes and effects, these include speaking to a speech and language therapist who can give you targeted exercises targeting past pronunciation, counseling, and therapy to help you deal with your new identity.
 
You can also practice things like Psychological First Aid and positive affirmation to help you cope with the challenges thrown up by FAS.
 
On the neurogenic side, medication to prevent strokes, anti-seizure medication, and even surgery may be suitable treatment options. However, because the condition is so rare, more work needs to be done to understand the various treatment options and the causes of the condition itself.
 
Foreign Accent Syndrome is a very rare condition that can cause those who suffer it serious emotional distress due to the loss of identity associated with a change of accent.
 
It is important to seek medical advice if you notice any of the symptoms even if you are unaware that you may have suffered physical damage to the brain. Treatment is possible, as is a full recovery, however, more research needs to be done to better understand both the causes and treatments for FAS.
 

References
  1. https://www.utdallas.edu
  2. https://www.bbc.com
  3. https://www.healthline.com
  4. https://www.discovermagazine.com
 

 

Lottie Miles

 






 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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publicado por achama às 09:20
Quarta-feira, 04 / 12 / 19

Could You Be Dating a Psychopath? 9 Signs to Watch out for

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted December 3, 2019.

 
Dating a Psychopath.

 



Yes, all relationships have problems, but some are far worse. Although rare, you could be dating a psychopath.

Dating has its own challenges, but when you start calling each other names, like psychopath or Maniac, it gets rough. Yes, it is possible that you could be dating a psychopathic person, but you really don’t know until you’ve researched the illness. In fact, the psychopath has physical differences which can be seen when looking at the brain. Of course, only a doctor can do this. As for the outer signs…

Are you dating a psychopath?
Let’s be honest, people throw around titles for others just because of a few strange characteristics. We often hear someone say, “He’s a narcissist”, or “She’s so bipolar”. You should never call each other derogatory names, especially if those names are real conditions. Those are serious personality issues and the person doing this could be just as sick as the other. So, how do we know the truth about these things?
Signs of the psychopath:
1. They have charisma…at first

A psychopath will not come over as a rude or uncaring person, well, not at first. In fact, they will be the most amazing person to be around, with their charm and social magnetism.

Everyone who encounters the psychopath on a friendship level will think they are one of the best people around, and they will continue to think this until they cross into certain areas of the psychopath’s life where truths emerge. A psychopath can hold this charismatic personality well for long periods of time, even years.
2. They make rash decisions

You may pick up on the true character of the psychopath when you pay attention to how they make decisions. This type of person is usually impulsive, giving little thought to the things they want to do. You may notice they don’t ask your opinion about much of anything. They just tell you what they’re about to do, or even do it before you even know what’s happened.
3. Manipulation

One of the most common attributes of the psychopath is manipulation. If they want something, they will do almost anything to get it, but most of all, they will use manipulative tactics. They will tell you that giving in to something makes you love them more, or truly love them, and if you don’t, then…you don’t love them at all.

They play upon your feelings this way, making it incredibly hard to deny them, and if you do, they will make sure you feel their passive-aggressive wrath. You see, not all psychopaths are killers, like from the movies. Some of them kill you emotionally by ignoring you or doing things intentionally to hurt you. All of this comes by the weapon of, you guessed it, manipulation.
4. They are always bored

The psychopath needs constant stimulation. If they don’t receive it, they will be looking for something or someone else to stimulate them. Unlike some of us who can be content with doing nothing sometimes, this is impossible for them.

They always have to be playing games, going out, being active, getting attention – you name it. It’s really hard to keep the psychopath interested for long before they’re whining about how bored they are or they are off and running with impulsive behavior again.

5. They disobey authority

That impulsivity that I mentioned above, yes, that can lead to disobeying the law, which is another sign you could be dating a psychopath. They usually disregard the speed limit and they usually play on their phones while driving. They may be drug users or alcoholics even.

But if you pay attention, you will notice, they break the law in some way if they are psychotic. It’s a combination of being bored, ego, and other aspects of their personality disorder.
6. They are pathological liars

Accuse a psychopath of lying and they will deny it, all the time. They hardly ever admit to being deceitful, and they are good at covering up the things they do with even more lies.

At first, you may even think you’re going crazy for accusing them of lies, but eventually, you will see the depth of their deception, and it will astound you. If you’re dating a pathological liar, there is a good chance that this person is also a psychopath.
7. They’re usually cheaters too

Most psychopaths find it extremely hard to be faithful, and when they cheat, they usually don’t care either. In fact, they will be unfaithful to one partner and also be unfaithful to the one they’re cheating with, which goes back to the boredom and impulsive aspect of their character.

There’s nothing wrong with you, never think that it’s just who they are. The sooner you realize the truth, the better. Their unfaithfulness may not only cost your feelings, but their promiscuity can also cost your life if they are having unsafe sex…which they probably will be.
8. Irresponsibility

The psychopath holds no responsibility for anything. They are the type of person who, when confronted, denies everything. No matter what they’ve done, even if it’s just leaving a towel on the floor, they will try and either deny it, blame it on someone else or justify how it was someone else’s fault that they left it there.


I’ve seen this behavior before and it’s both horrifying and strangely funny. If it wasn’t so sad, I would probably laugh and walk away. They can actually wipe their conscious away just so easily.
9. Arrogant

A psychopath is an arrogant person. After they initially sweep you off your feet, you will start to realize this arrogant attribute a little more every day. Eventually, they will be so arrogant that nothing can stand in their way. If you’re not careful, this will erode your self-esteem. You have to try and remain a strong and stable person to withstand their arrogance and survive the psychopath.
Dating a psychopath? You have choices to make…fast

If you are dating such a person, chances are, they will not change. I’m sorry. You see, it’s not just about generational teachings or the environment with this one. The psychopath really does have a different brain than the normal person, as I mentioned above.

Where you or I might have a physical and mental reaction to violence, the psychopath can remain calm. And yes, this fact can be terrifying. It’s the answer to so many of their personality traits like constant boredom, impulsive behavior, and cheating. There usually is no remorse.

I hate to say that there is no hope at all with the psychopath simply because I never like giving up on anyone, but you might seriously consider your future with someone like this. If you feel threatened at all, then leaving is a priority. Also, if you do leave, be careful because the psychopath doesn’t easily let go. Just a fair warning.

So, in a nutshell, and as always, check the signs, get support, and do what’s best for YOU.

I wish you well.
References
:
  1. https://research.unt.edu
  2. https://www.webmd.com
 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 09:17
Terça-feira, 03 / 12 / 19

4 Leadership Styles and Examples Where They Can Be Used

Jamie Logie.

December 2nd, 2019. 

leadership styles.

 
 

 
Are you effectively leading people or not using the right leadership styles when needed?
 
You can probably think back to certain leaders in your life and the leadership styles they used. An effective leader can manage people effortlessly without having to be overbearing or ruthless. The best leaders are the ones you don’t even notice leading but can motivate and improve everyone around them.
 
Leadership is the ability to get amazing achievements from ordinary people. If this is the leader you would like to be – in any area of life – it helps to learn different leadership styles. This article will look at 4 styles of leadership and examples for where to use them.
 
What Are Some Key Leadership Styles?
 
As a leader, your job is to get things done by leading others to success. This can be on the grand stage of the leader of a country, down to running a volunteer charity. Whatever type of influence you have, leadership is all about getting the best out of others to accomplish a goal or task.
 
Your leadership style will depend on a few variables, such as the team you are working with or specific people within that team. A good leader can recognize when a certain style is needed and will pick the right one depending on the specific end goal. There are many styles of leadership, but here are a few of the best to help accomplish this.
 
1. The Structural Leadership Style
 
This style of leadership is a very straightforward style. Everything is laid out in black in white. Everyone knows what needs doing, why it needs to be done, and when it needs to be done by. This style of leadership is one that places more importance on yourself, and it’s important to recognize this.
 
You are the one in charge of picking the people, assigning them to the various tasks, and managing them with the expectation they will produce great work. The main responsibility falls on your shoulders with this style as you are the one calling all the shots. You do not need any input from other people and what you say, goes.
 
You would use this leadership style when team members need to be rewarded or disciplined. You would also use this style when you have a team that is already motivated, full of experts, and needs little direction. You don’t want to use the structural leadership style all the time, as it can lead to team members feeling overwhelmed. This style works best in a crunch time scenario.
 
2. The Participative Style Of Leadership
 
This style is when you put your team first. When you’re leading people this way, it shows that you really care about them. When you lead this way, you build more bonds and friendships. There is a focus on spending time with the team members and showing that you care. The best way to use this style of leadership is to treat your team members the same way you would treat a family member.
 
There is no task-master mentality here, and the leadership is all about respect. This creates a feeling of belonging for the people you lead and you tend to get better results from them this way. They get more of a feeling of ownership with what they are working on as they feel more connected and valued. Decisions are made by consensus and members have more input, hence being called participative.
 
You would use the participative leadership style when you need new ideas and fresh perspectives. It is also good to use it during times of stress and when team members are feeling overwhelmed. They will feel heard and listened to, and it helps to build and maintain trust.
 
3. The Servant Style
 
The servant style is taking the participative style to the next level. With this style of leadership, you serve the role of serving your team. The easiest way to approach this style is to treat others how you want to be treated aka managing others the way you want to be managed.
 
You make sure that everyone understands their jobs fully and provide any needed tools. This style helps to bring out the peak performance of your team members. This style may be the most rewarding for them as they feel catered to and appreciated. They are listened to and their ideas matter.
 
An example of when to use the servant style is if you find yourself with a diverse team. This would be a team where you need to personalize your management for each member. You may also want to consider this leadership style if you are starting out somewhere new or with a new team. This will help you build trust, respect, and loyalty.
 
You may not want to use the servant style for too long, however, as it may lead to a lack of direction for the team. It also may lead to a lack of authority and your team ending up running the show.
 
4. The Freedom Style
 
This is a style of leadership that requires a lot of faith in your team. With this style, you give your team a task and then basically stay out of the way. You will chime in only when needed. Your role here is to point the team in the right direction and then leave it up to them.
 
You obviously need the utmost confidence in your team, but if you’ve led them well up to this point, they should be able to thrive. This style is not recommended if you are just starting out in leading people. You need a great track record showing your ability to get results out of people. You also need a lot of expertise and a highly skilled team that doesn’t need much supervision.
 
This is an approach taken by the Pixar company: give a mediocre idea to a strong team and they will find a way to make it great.
Final Thoughts
 
There isn’t one best leadership style, as these 4 different ones are valuable in their own way. The effective leader is not the one who just intimately knows different styles of leadership but knows when to use them at the right time. Whether you use the freedom, servant, participative, or structural leadership style, you ultimately will know how to get the very best out of people.
 
References:


  1. https://www.researchgate.net/
  2. http://article.sapub.org/
 

About the Author: Jamie Logie

 


 

Jamie Logie is a personal trainer, nutritionist, and health and wellness specialist. Jamie also studied sociology and psychology at Western University and has a counseling diploma from Heritage Baptist College. He has run a blog and top-rated podcast on iTunes called "Regained Wellness". Jamie is also a contributing writer for places like the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, LifeHack and has an Amazon #1 book called "Taking Back Your Health".

 

 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

Archives:



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

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publicado por achama às 09:22
Terça-feira, 03 / 12 / 19

Why Do Some Drunk People Show a Personality Change, According to Science?

Lottie Miles.

learning-mind.com

Posted December 1st, 2019.

 
drunk people personality change.

 


 
The morning after the night before a session of heavy drinking can leave you with not just a sore head but the paranoia of how you behaved under the influence of one too many cocktails. However, research is increasingly pointing towards the conclusion that, for many of us, alcohol does not hugely transform our personality. Despite this, some drunk people do undergo a personality change when drinking alcohol.
 
So, why do some drunk people show a personality change and others don’t? Let’s take a look at what the research says.
 
How does alcohol affect our personality?
 
It is a common idea that alcohol transforms us into different people and has a profound effect on our personality. It can certainly feel this way when under the influence, you may feel more free with your opinions, more extroverted and even more likely to take risks.
 
However, what happens when our drunk behavior is observed and compared to our sober selves? This is what researchers from the University of Missouri did and the results were fascinating.
 
The study had 156 participants, half of which were given alcohol in a laboratory setting and were observed by trained researchers who measured the effect alcohol had on them using three personality measures.
 
Prior to this observation, participants were asked to complete self-reports of their normal sober behavior and how they think this changes when drunk. They were also asked to rate how they thought their personality had changed after consuming alcohol during the experiment.
 
The results found that the participants’ perception of their personality change when drunk was much more pervasive than the sober observers’ perception of any alcohol-induced changes to personality traits. The only real personality change noted out of the personality factors observed was a higher degree of extraversion after drinking alcohol.
 
The researchers do point out, however, that the clinical laboratory setting needs to be acknowledged as an inhibiting factor in the research and that there is a need for further exploration in this area in a more natural environment.
 
4 types of drunk personality that show how different people are more susceptible to a personality change
 
Prior to this study, previous research by the University of Missouri distinguished 4 different drunk personality types and highlighted that some people are more susceptible to a personality change under the influence of alcohol. This study looked at the perceptions of 187 undergraduate students and their opinion of their own drunk personality.
 
The drunk personality types they unearthed were:
 
1. The Ernest Hemingway
 
This is the most common drunk personality type (42% of participants) and is named after the famous writer Ernest Hemingway who was known for being able to drink everyone else under the table.
 
The Ernest Hemingway’s amongst us are capable of drinking without it having a huge impact on our behavior or personality. The only changes noted by this group were greater difficulties in organizing and a slight effect on their ability to understand intellectual concepts and abstract ideas. This is the group least likely to experience a problematic relationship with alcohol.
 
2. The Mr. Hyde
 
The second most common drunk type in the study was the ‘Mr. Hyde’ (23% of participants). As the name suggests, the drunk personality type of Mr. Hyde relates to the evil alter ego of Dr. Jeckyll (from the famous book by Robert Louis Stevenson) and corresponds with a marked change in behavior when drunk with individuals exhibiting disagreeable behavior.
 
This group was the most likely to experience negative consequences when drinking alcohol and had a higher risk of addiction.
 
3. The Nutty Professor
 
The third most common drunk personality was termed ‘The Nutty Professor’ by the researchers and is based on Eddy Murphy’s character in the film of the same name. This relates to people who undergo a complete transformation after drinking alcohol.
 
This is someone who is usually shy and retiring yet tuns into the life and soul of the party after a few glasses of Chardonnay. This accounted for 20% of the participants and wasn’t linked with any problematic alcohol usage.
 
4. The Mary Poppins
 
The rarest drunk personality type amongst participants (15%) was referred to by the researchers as ‘The Mary Poppins’. This relates to those who are not only sweet and friendly when sober but maintain this manner after drinking alcohol.
 
Relating to the temperament of the world’s greatest nanny, Mary Poppins, this group were the most responsible drinkers and did not experience any negative effects from drinking alcohol.
 
Research into the effects of alcohol on our personalities highlights some interesting discrepancies between how we think we appear when drunk, and how others actually perceive our drunk behavior. Interestingly, despite popular belief in the transformative effects of alcohol, the research suggests that our personalities are not as influenced by this substance as we might think.
 
However, the fact remains that some drunk people are more affected than others by a few too many drinks and everyone has one friend who perhaps turns into the worst or best version of themselves when under the influence.
 
There is a need for further research in this area, especially in a more natural setting to a scientific laboratory in order to truly see the impact of alcohol on personality types.
 

References:
  1. https://psychcentral.com
  2. https://www.psychologicalscience.org
  3. https://qz.com
 

Lottie Miles

 






 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 09:12
Segunda-feira, 02 / 12 / 19

Why Social Media Is Toxic and Bad for Your Mental Health

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

November 30th, 2019.

 
.why social media is toxic
 
 

 
Do you suffer from Facebook Envy or Sadfishing? Have you ever heard of Internet Banging? The internet is an amazing tool for the majority of us. As a result, more and more teenagers are spending longer online and without parental supervision. But some experts are now saying that social media is toxic. Here are just a few examples of how social media can be bad for your mental health.
 
4 Examples of Why Social Media Is Toxic
 
Sadfishing
 
If you haven’t heard of sadfishing it is the latest toxic trend to hit social media sites. Sadfishing is where someone (typically a young person) posts about a personal problem, usually in an ambiguous way, to garner sympathy and attention.
 
 
Examples might include:
  • I can’t go on like this for much longer.
  • I hate my life so much.
  • Feel like ending it all.
  • No one understands me.
  • What’s the point in carrying on?
 
Famous celebrity examples include Kendall Jenner and Justin Bieber. These two celebrities poured their hearts out on social media. Afterwards they received hundreds of thousands of likes on Instagram. More to the point, their personal stories of heartbreak garnered huge publicity for the pair.
 
However, there is a downside to sharing raw and emotional material online. For example, a young person posts a very personal and extremely distressing part of their lives but doesn’t get the support they imagined. Instead, they are ridiculed or bullied. Or even worse, encouraged to do something suicidal.
 
But there’s an even more worrying aspect to this toxic trend in social media. That is of grooming offenders using these comments to infiltrate the minds of vulnerable young people.
 
Consequently, the groomer will sympathise with the young person, possibly sharing stories themselves to engage further. This is all done to trap and ensnare the vulnerable person.
 
What To Do
 
Talk to a real person. A friend, family member, a teacher or someone you trust. Keep very personal issues off social media.
Facebook Envy
 
Another example of a toxic trend in social media is Facebook envy. Do you look at your friend’s posts on Facebook and secretly feel jealous of their life?
 
The problem is that the face we present to social media is the best face possible. We photoshop our selfies to look like supermodels and celebrities.
 
Furthermore, we glamourise our lives so that we only show the most interesting parts. We highlight our best achievements. Romances are always perfect with our partners doing everything for us. No wonder our friends worry that their own lives don’t match up.
 
But in the real world, this constant comparing of each other’s lives can cause actual depression, low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness.
 
What to do
 
Don’t compare your life to your friends or your family. Remember, no one knows exactly what is going on behind the perfectly presented front of social media. In actual fact, the reality is likely to be much different.
 
Internet Banging
 
Studies suggest that gangs have moved from the streets to the internet. The clashes and taunts between rival gangs in the USA and now the UK has spilt over onto Twitter. Now, threats of online violence often end up in murder.
 
In fact, it is the relatively cheap cost of smartphones and the raised knowledge of street gangs in using the technology that has led to an upsurge in crime in some areas.
 
Likewise, thanks to social media, gang members have instant access to information. This includes names and addresses of potential victims. Members use platforms like Twitter to taunt their rivals.
 
“They’ll go on the streets of the group and they’ll take pictures or they’ll take a video and they’ll put it on YouTube or ‘We’re in your neighbourhood.’ And Facebook and they’ll take pictures right in the neighbourhood like saying, ‘Ha ha,’ laughing, taunting them. And that’s part of a taunt too. Like provoking them, letting them know, you know what we got your guy. He was snoozing.” Mario (violence worker)
 
As a result, the US is now experiencing a huge rise in gang-related crime.
 
What to do
 
Authorities are already trying to use social media to de-escalate violence before it starts. In order to interrupt the dialogue between gangs, they are encouraging relationships within them.
 
Glorifying Overworking
 
Do you know someone that is always busy? They have the hardest lives, they are continually on the go, and they never have a moment’s peace? In other words, they wear their hard work like a martyr’s badge of honour.
 
In today’s society, if you work yourself to the bone, it is seen as a prized character trait. Working longer hours, working harder, giving up time to work, these are all signs of dedication, of, well let’s face it, hard work.
 
To put it another way, there is a correlation between hours worked and the contribution to the household. We glorify those that come home exhausted and grumpy. We tiptoe around them and shush the children because so-and-so has been working all day. People that take time off, that only work part-time, they are lazy, irresponsible, and no good for the family or society.
 
The problem is that by glorifying overworking we are normalising working long hours. In reality, a balance between working and family time is far better for everyone’s mental health.
 
What to do
 
Don’t place so much importance on telling everyone how busy you are. It is not something to be proud of. Actually, it shows that you are bad at time-management and delegation.
 
Final Thoughts
 
Many people use the internet to keep in touch with friends and family and for the majority, it is a good place. However, for others – social media is toxic and damaging to their mental health. If we know why it can be toxic we can hopefully protect ourselves and our mental wellbeing.
 
References:
 
 
Janey Davies

 





About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

Archives:



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 02:19
Sexta-feira, 29 / 11 / 19

How to Deal with Job Burnout and Achieve Work-Life Balance

By Valerie Soleil.

learning-mind.com.

Posted November 28th, 2019. 

 


 
Technically speaking, burnout implies the cessation of operation of a jet or a rocket engine. Projecting this definition onto the office landscape, job burnout closely relates to work stress. Indeed the term ‘burnout’ in this context was first introduced by Freudenberger (1974). He pointed to the occupational hazards professionals are exposed to when working under difficult conditions.
 
Job Burnout: Facts and Stats
 
Although burnout can happen in any job sector, professionals who are at a high-risk exposure to experiencing it include:
  • Doctors
  • Nurses
  • Firefighters
  • Police officers
  • Social workers
  • People in design-related jobs
  • Business development
  • Retail workers
  • Sales
 
Overall, 63% of U.S. workers admitted that their unhealthy lifestyle choices were caused by stress at work. In fact, job burnout got so widespread that in 2019 the World Health Organization included it into the International Classification of Diseases. Thus, recognizing it as a medical condition.
 
Narrowing the long list of job burnout symptoms to the top three, we should mention the following major red flags. These flags are signals that one should to stop, reconsider one’s work situation, change it or ask for help:
  • Energy depletion
  • Negativism/cynicism towards one’s work
  • Reduced professional efficacy
 
So, these are the major red flags that indicate job burnout, but what puts a person at risk in the first place?
 
 
Risk Factors That Can Lead to Job Burnout
  • Long hours and schedule mismanagement
  • Lack of job security (especially valid for freelancing and part-time employment)
  • Low reward (the motivation killer number one)
  • Lack of ability to set/categorize priorities
  • Perfectionism (one of the factors ‘responsible’ for procrastination resulting in low morale)
  • Total focus on numbers/analytics (leading to chasing the wrong priorities)
Lack of boundaries between work and life
  • Excessive interaction
  • Numerous digital apps
 
The anxiety resulting from being exposed to the factors listed above eventually leads to:
  • Mental overactivity
  • Restlessness
  • Loss of concentration
 
In case the irritation becomes the permanent reaction to the job environment, you might feel provoked to go ballistic. Then again, you may get snappy with people you never intended to hurt.
 
This is a ‘classic’ burnout scenario. Fortunately, there is a proven antidote to take control before physical and emotional exhaustion hits you. It is called balance.
 
Why You Need to Keep Balance
 
You can invest all your energy, effort, and mental focus into work. However, over time, you might notice that you finish the day by feeling overwhelmed and lacking focus. First, you can feel a lack of motivation and pleasure. Whereas sometime later it can progress to forgetfulness and fatigue.
 
Ironically, you need a balance between work and life. Not only to experience the state of internal and external wellbeing but to be better at work. Indeed, aside from the health benefits, balance is important for assisting you in achieving your goals without taking shortcuts on the important things in life. For example, friendships, hobbies, or activities that fill you up.
 
Paraphrasing the famous quote by Warren Buffet on the ability to say no as the tipping point for reaching true success. We can suppose the ability to maintain balance to be the point that keeps you fired up about your work without causing job burnout.
 
“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.” Warren Buffett
 
So what do you need to do in case you feel at the borders of burnout? Make it a goal to restore balance. And the best way to start is? Stop and retreat to rest and take a step back to give your mind time to pacify.
 
It will allow you to see where exactly your priorities setting went messy and where you lost visibility of the key component. This is, of course – you. Once you managed to clear your mind, you can start strategically choose to distribute your focus. Particularly when it comes to maintaining your wellbeing. You can start by trying the practical tips we offer below.
 
How to Deal with Job Burnout: Practical Tips
 
 
In the workplace
 
Track your work time
 
With the current digitally-mediated lifestyles, it is easy to lose track of the time we spend working or just surfing the net. So applying a simple time tracker could be a game-changer. By knowing the precise amount of time you dedicate to work will help you set priorities.
 
It is known that people tracking what they do considerably (and immediately!) improve their performance. In addition, and, what is even more important, it raises awareness. This helps avoid over-scheduling and overloading.
 
Organize your ideal workspace
 
It is crucial you minimize the stress factors. For instance, poor lighting, noise, and polluted air. Ideally, you need natural light, noise-cancelling earphones, and a well-ventilated office.
 
If you cannot have total silence at work opt for ‘right’ music
 
The music without lyrics proves to make you more energized and productive. There is a lot of research available on this topic now. So, taking the time to understand what works best for you is a wise move for maintaining your mental health.
Automate routine
 
With the diversity of digital tools, it is easy to choose those that would assist you in facilitating work. In addition, eliminating tedious tasks off your schedule. For example, consider using task planners, online calendars, grammar editors, and design creators. All of these applications save time and minimize job daily demands).
 
Plan ahead
 
Sounds like a no brainer, but the trick is, you need to plan two big tasks prior to the day you want to perform them. It will reduce pressure and prevent over-commitment and emotional toll.
Make just a few decisions
 
This tip is of special value for those who want to embrace the leadership role. It might sound unconventional but, actually, it keeps you from feeling trapped in the pseudo productivity abyss. Confusing busy and productive leads to focusing on the quantity instead of quality. Moreover, it causes decision fatigue.
 
Outside the workplace
 
To amplify and support our natural ways of being, we should:
  • Be aware that after work you can feel decision fatigue which is responsible for impulse purchasing
  • Try to plan the out-of-work time with the same efforts you are investing in planning your work; simply because you owe yourself ‘me’ time
  • Say no to work-related emails and calls after your working day is over
  • Manage your diet and sleep routine as they are the basis of physical and mental wellbeing.
 
Paradoxically, you can avoid job burnout by managing your time off and giving your body extra care. Walking and exercising let you get rid of the burden of screens everywhere. In addition, they keep you active and healthy. Remember, a healthy body helps to instil in your mind the ‘idea of enough’ not to slip into the burnout pit.
 
Final Thoughts
 
 
 
Burnout may make people feel tired out and cynical about work duties, so preventing the occupational hazards that might deprive us of realizing our full potential must never slip off our daily agenda.
 
Check on the statements that prove you are currently NOT prone to burnout:
  • My work is interesting and fulfilling.
  • I do not feel tired before I arrive at work.
  • I mostly talk about my work in a positive way.
  • When I work, I feel energized.
  • I do not need much time to relax after work.
  • I cope with work pressure quite well.
  • It doesn’t happen often that do my job mechanically.
  • I’ve got enough energy for my leisure activities
  • The tasks I do during the working day seem fine to me.
  • I’m engaged in my work.
 
If you feel that you cannot relate to most of these statements, it’s probably time to put yourself on pause. Then you can reconsider your work routine and restore work-life balance.
 
Remember that once burnout creeps into your life, it is a sign you are in need of drastic change. Take it as the time to take a break.
 
Time to apply a new strategy to manage it all – because you can.
 

Valerie Soleil


 



 
About the Author: Valerie Soleil


Valerie Soleil is a writer with over 5 years of experience and holds a bachelor degree in law and a B.A. in Psychology. She is a physical & mental health enthusiast who constantly expands her knowledge about the mysteries of the human body and mind. Some of the activities Valerie is particularly passionate about are traveling and reading because they help her broaden her horizons.
 
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 



 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 08:59
Quinta-feira, 28 / 11 / 19

9 Signs of a Scam Artist and Manipulation Tools They Use

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

November 27th, 2019.

 
scam artist signs.
 
 

 
 
I’ve always been interested in the darker side of a person’s personality, particularly deviant behaviour. I want to know why someone might stray from the straight and narrow. So I often watch programmes about scam artists and their victims. And I think to myself, how did they fall for their tricks? Do they use specific tools to manipulate a person? Do they have to have particular character traits to pull off a scam? Is there a perfect victim? Well, all of the above is true. But before we examine the signs of a scam artist, let’s look at the type of person they target.
 
The Perfect Time for Scam Artists
 
Unfortunately, anyone can fall victim to a scam artist. We are all incredibly busy these days. We don’t have the time to scrutinise every email or text or phone call. Furthermore, scam artists are targeting us from every conceivable angle.
 
Decades ago, a con-artist would have to be confident and articulate. They would have to have face-to-face communication skills to convince someone to part with their cash. In fact, we get the term con-man from ‘confidence-man’. But things have changed massively.
 
These days, we talk to people who are thousands of miles away without even seeing them. Likewise, there are many different forms of communication. And that’s a major difference for our time.
 
In the past, a con-man would have to face his victim. He (or she) would see, up close and personal, the damage done as a result of their con. Now, scammers are people sat far away, in their tracksuits, targeting anonymous people who they have no emotional connection to at all.
 
As a result, anyone and everyone are under constant attack. If our wits are down our defences are wide open.
 
So who is a perfect victim for a scam artist?
 
Scam artists will look for a certain victim-type, depending on the scam they want to pull off. It is important to remember that a victim of a scam is not stupid. This is because scammers play to our emotions, not our intelligence. So, anyone who is in a vulnerable state is, particularly at risk.
 
For example, a person who has recently lost their job, a partner, a child. Someone who is going through a major life upheaval. But also positive things can make you vulnerable. For instance, a run of extremely good luck can skew your judgment.
 
Successful scams all hinge on desire over rationality. Victims of scams often don’t want to know a lot of details about the scam. They just need to know the outcome. In other words, will they be better off?
 
“Victims don’t look for why the offer is a scam; they look for why the offer will make them money. They want you to make them feel good so they can pull the trigger.” Anonymous scammer
9 Signs of a Scam Artist and Their Manipulation Tools
They use your name
 
Using a person’s first name is a powerful way to emotionally connect with someone. It instantly creates a bond between two people. You feel special, as if you are important to that person, particularly if it is your first meeting.
 
They mirror your body language
 
This is a classic manipulation tool that scammers use. By copying your body language, the scam artist is subconsciously forming an attachment with you. You feel attracted to them but you are not sure why.
 
‘We’re in this together’
 
‘We’re in this together.’ ‘You and I are going to be rich.’ ‘We’re gonna make a lot of money.’ Firstly, why would someone want to share their wealth with you? Particularly if you are a stranger to them?
 
Human beings tend to want to hoard their wealth so be very wary if a complete stranger wants to include you in a money-making scheme. Secondly, you’ll feel more like a team and less like you are alone in any risk-taking activity.
 
But there’s always a time limit
 
You often see unscrupulous salespeople do this in order to close a deal. There’s this fantastic offer on hand, but, you have to sign on the dotted line within an hour or the deal is gone. This tactic plays on the FOMO effect. We don’t want to miss out on a great deal. Listen, no deal is that good it doesn’t stand up to scrutiny and time spent away reflecting on it.
 
You’ll win a little at first
 
To get you to sign up to whatever scam is going, you will win a small amount of money in the short-term. This is done to build your confidence. It is also done to lock you into a situation. Now you are tied into a scheme. You are invested, literally and figuratively. You have a psychological need to continue. Of course, it won’t last.
 
Scam artists are good listeners
 
You might think that the majority of scammers are skilled in communication, but having good listening skills is equally important. The reason they listen a lot is that they need to know what will seal the deal for you and what a deal breaker is.
 
They’ll show their imperfections
 
Studies show that we trust a person that is not perfect. In the beginning, a scam artist will let you in on a little flaw of theirs that shows their imperfections. Of course, it won’t be a massive thing to put you off. I mean, they won’t confide that they are a psychopath who has just killed their mother. It will be just small enough to earn your trust.
 
Scammers start off small
 
Romance con-artists tend to ask for small amounts of money which then get bigger and bigger over time. The reasons can vary from paying off small debts to helping stop bankruptcy. Although the amounts may begin under 100 pounds or dollars, the victim can end up giving away their life-savings of over hundreds of thousands.
A scam artist will count on your embarrassment
 
Why do so many scams go unpunished or unprosecuted? Because the victim feels so embarrassed about being conned. And this is what the scammer is depending on. We often see elderly victims of scams refusing to come forward because they feel so ashamed about being scammed.
 
Final Thoughts
 
With so many scam artists out there, it is important to keep our wits about us. Probably the most important advice is that if a deal seems too good to be true, it is.
 

References:

  1. thebalance.com
  2. www.vox.com
  3. www.rd.com

 
Janey Davies

 





About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

Archives:



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 09:33
A Luz está a revelar a Verdade, e esta libertar-nos-á! -Só é real o AMOR Incondicional. -Quando o Amor superar o amor pelo poder, o mundo conhecerá a Paz; Jimi Hendrix. -Somos almas a ter uma experiência humana!

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