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Segunda-feira, 30 / 03 / 20

What Is Cognitive Ease and How It Blocks Your Critical Thinking.

What Is Cognitive Ease and How It Blocks Your Critical Thinking.

Janey Davies, B.A.

https://www.learning-mind.com

March 29th, 2020.

 
 

 
Now before you start reading this article, I just want to promise you it is not a political piece. I am only using an event in recent British politics to highlight a way of thinking called cognitive ease.
Last December, the Conservative Party won the General Election with a huge majority not seen since WWII. This is despite the fact that many voters disagreed with their policies and preferred the Labour manifesto. So what went wrong? Cognitive ease, dear readers. Cognitive ease.
I say again, don’t worry, this isn’t a political article. It’s the easiest way I can tell you about this particular way of thinking. Let me explain. Going into the election the Conservatives had a very brief and succinct message. It was: ‘Get Brexit Done’
On the other hand, the Labour party was wishy-washy about where they stood on Brexit. Their leader told the UK he would be an ‘honest broker of the people’ (whatever that meant, no one really knew). He wouldn’t take sides and the Labour party message was one of ‘we’ll go with want the people want’, or something like that. I don’t recall. And that’s the problem.
The Conservatives won a massive majority. After the dust had settled, many people cited the clear message from the Tories about Brexit. It was easy to understand they said. They knew what it meant. It was catchy, concise, and simple to remember. It chimed well with the public. Audiences took to it.
On the other hand, no one understood what Labour was trying to say.
The Conservatives won because they took advantage of cognitive ease. So what exactly is it?

What Is Cognitive Ease and How It Works

Put simply, cognitive ease is the ease in which our brains process information and this then has a direct impact on how we then view that information. In other words, if something is easy to understand, like ‘Get Brexit Done’, we immediately understand it and we view it in a positive way.
Not only that, but the easier a thing is to process and understand, the more time and effort we’ll invest in it. Conversely, when something becomes harder to understand, and we need to take more of a mental effort, this leads to a negative view. In fact, we can become suspicious, distrustful and lose confidence.
The problem is that not everything in life is easy to understand. If it was, Einstein would never have come up with the theory of relativity. So why are we drawn to cognitive ease?
It’s because we are most likely to believe what is familiar and what is easy. Going back to the ‘Get Brexit Done’ slogan again, even when members of the opposition told the British public that Brexit absolutely would not ‘be done’ in a matter of months (which was what Boris Johnson had been saying) because it would take years to negotiate the trade deals, we all ignored them and voted him in.

Familiarity Breeds Cognitive Ease

So the phrase became so familiar that in the end, it was the truth. Studies show that if something is repeated enough times, we believe it. There’s an old saying: ‘a lie travels around the world several times before the truth is putting its shoes on‘.
This repeating something until we are familiar with it is the mere-exposure effect. Many people use this to their advantage, including politicians. The purpose of repeating a certain phrase is that it gives us a sense of cognitive ease. Our brains don’t have to work that hard because we’ve heard it before, therefore, it must be true.

Simplicity Is Key

Again I’m using the Brexit phrase because it is so simple it was so effective. When something is simple, it requires less processing and that gives us cognitive ease.
For example, if I give you two options, Option A is very simple to understand and Option B is extremely difficult, then I ask you to choose which option you prefer, statistically, you are more likely to say Option A.
This is because you find option A easier to understand and we like things we understand. We find them easier to process. They take less mental strain.

Cognitive Ease Validates Our Existing Beliefs

But there’s another reason why cognitive ease is such a pervasive thought behaviour and that is the information we think is true and right and that we already understand makes us feel better.
Information that is consistent with what we already believe validates our opinions. We are more likely to accept information that already fits in with our belief systems, with our values. It’s like big green ticks along all our confidence boxes.
Conversely, information that is inconsistent with what we believe is held up to much greater scrutiny. We don’t easily accept it as we do information we already believe in. In fact, the opposite is true.
We instantly distrust it, we look at the source of the information, and we dislike the characters that are talking about the information. We find reasons to dismiss the information.
This is because it is taking us much greater cognitive processes to dissect the information than the simple or familiar stuff.
The problem is that cognitive ease is a cognitive bias and a shortcut to processing the world around us. As with all cognitive biases, they can distort our thinking. So how do we stop falling into the trap of cognitive ease thinking?

How to Avoid Cognitive Ease Thinking

  • Accept different views
  • Don’t believe because something is simple, it is true
  • Don’t believe because you’ve heard it before, it is true
  • Listen to as many different people as you can
  • Don’t get trapped in an echo chamber
  • Be wary of the feel-good response that cognitive ease thinking gives you
  • Start accepting that feeling uncomfortable is a sign you are thinking properly

Final Thoughts


It’s hard to escape the trap of cognitive ease. When we feel validated, we get a rush of confidence and our mood is lifted and we are happy. But it’s important to realise that some factions of society use cognitive ease as a way of fooling the public. So be on your guard. Is something too simple? Do you keep hearing or seeing it? It could be cognitive ease.


Janey Davies



About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

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publicado por achama às 17:59
Sábado, 28 / 03 / 20

How Mass Hysteria Is Making the Pandemic Worse and How to Cope.

How Mass Hysteria Is Making the Pandemic Worse and How to Cope.

Janey Davies, B.A.

https://www.learning-mind.com

March 28th, 2020.

 
mass hysteria.

 
 
 
I like to think of myself as a fairly rational and calm person, but in the last few weeks, I have felt close to tears. Since the coronavirus has taken hold, I have seen mass hysteria on an unprecedented scale.
 
Never before in my lifetime have I witnessed empty supermarket shelves, people walking around wearing masks and daily updates from the government. It seems as if we are living in some kind of nightmare. Common-sense no longer applies. Rules are turned upside down.
 
In times of hardship and struggle, we pull together, we hug each other and visit our family and friends more often. However, we can’t do that with this new threat. Instead, we must self-isolate and socially distance ourselves.
 
Our normal routines and daily lives have to follow a strict safety code. No more unnecessary travel. Only shop for essential products. If you do go out, stay 2 metres apart from other people. It’s enough to bring on mass hysteria.
 
What Is Mass Hysteria?
 
It is a psychological condition shared by groups of people who feel threatened by a certain event or person. There are many examples of mass hysteria throughout history.
 
 
Examples of mass hysteria
 
Salem Witch Trials
 
In late February 1692 in a small village called Salem, Massachusetts, two young girls began having fits. They would twitch and shriek uncontrollably. The parish and community blamed the fits on witchcraft and singled out women who had supposedly afflicted these young girls.
 
Soon the numbers started to rise and eventually many more were showing signs of witchcraft. In 1693, more than 200 women had been accused of witchcraft. In fact, 30 were convicted and 19 were executed.
 
Remember, only two girls were ill, but it ended up with countless of women being held captive and subject to ridiculous ‘witch tests’.
 
The Louisiana Twitching
 
Talking of twitching, in early 1939, one Louisianan schoolgirl developed a strange twitch in her leg. Suddenly the twitching spread to others. The number of cases rose sharply but no doctor could pinpoint the problem.
 
All tests came back negative. Meanwhile more and more girls were succumbing to this strange leg-twitching phenomena.
 
Parents removed their children from schools, refusing to allow them back until the cause was known. After a few weeks, the incidences of leg-twitching seemed to calm down, but what had caused the outbreak in the first place?
 
Those who investigated narrowed it down to one girl – Helen – who had the first symptoms. Helen couldn’t dance. In fact, she hated dance classes but was worried that her boyfriend would be tempted by another girl who was a better dancer than her.
 
She pretended to have an uncontrollable twitch in her leg so that she could get out of dance class and have a readymade excuse to her boyfriend.
 
The Bin Laden Itch
 
After the tragic 9/11 attacks of 2001, reports started to surface of children complaining of a strange skin rash. The rash could last from just a few hours to a couple of weeks. But doctors and parents were none the wiser.
 
Some parents started to speculate that this could be a result of a bioterrorist attack. Remember, at the time we were all terrified about viewing the broadcast of the two aeroplanes.
 
People started calling it the Bin Laden Itch after an extraordinary number of elementary students appeared to come down with this rash. As more and more children fell victim to the rash, so did the panic and hysteria begin to rise. So what was the cause?
 
The Center for Disease Control investigated. They found that because of the initial fear of a biological attack, children and parents had been paying closer attention to their skin. More cases were reported and numbers rose. In fact, it was these rising numbers that started the mass hysteria.
 
The problem with mass hysteria
 
So what about today and the virus that everyone is talking about? Has mass hysteria led to panic buying in supermarkets? Does the constant updating of cases and deaths help to fuel our anxiety? Are the orders from governments beginning to scare us?
 
It’s really not surprising that people are becoming hysterical. We feel overwhelmed by the sheer scale of events when we are bombarded with information from many different sources.
 
However, despite the fact that we are all living in very crazy times, there is a real problem when it comes to mass hysteria.
Mass hysteria can lead us to believe things that are simply not true.
  • It can also fool us into thinking the problem is much worse than it really is.
  • It can change our behaviour and make us act foolishly or selfishly.
  • It leads to the spread of misinformation which only fuels our anxiety even further.
  • How to cope with mass hysteria
 
It is true that this pandemic is more deadly than the recent outbreak of swine flu in 2009, but that doesn’t mean we need to panic.
 
Take, for example, the SARS epidemic in 2003 which killed around 10% of those who caught it. Not to mention the MERS outbreak, which killed 34% of those infected.
 
So far, this virus is not as deadly as SARS and MERS. Today there are around 600,000 confirmed cases and a mortality rate of 4.4%.
 
And what does this tell us? Well, with SARS and MERS we weren’t seeing massive shutdowns and forced changes to our behaviour. But the facts and figures speak for themselves. Coronavirus is no more deadly than the last few recent epidemics the world has had to face.
 
Final thoughts
 
In these strange and unprecedented times, it can be easy to sit at home and worry. If you feel anxious and hysterical, remember, it’s easy to pass this onto others.
 
Instead, why not go to reputable sites like the World Health Organisation and get the facts from the horse’s mouth. You’ll feel much better, I promise.
 
Meanwhile, stay safe.
 
References:

  1. www.verywellmind.com
  2. www.businessinsider.com


Janey Davies



About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

Archives:



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

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publicado por achama às 19:09
Quarta-feira, 25 / 03 / 20

Social Distancing from an Introvert’s Point of View.

Social Distancing from an Introvert’s Point of View.

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

March 25th, 2020

 

 
 
Our world is plagued with fake people who pretend to be something they aren’t. It’s not unusual to fall for a fake, no matter what they’re pretending to be. Sometimes, we just trust too easily. When you fall for a fake empath’s lies, it could be emotionally or mentally damaging. For your own sake, it’s a good idea to know what to look for when spotting a fake.
 
Despite how wholesome being an empath is at its root, there are still people who make it into something less than that. Fake empaths are, unfortunately, common. People claim to have this gift for all sorts of reasons. Often, fake empaths are narcissists.
 
Empaths and narcissists are on opposite ends of the same spectrum. They insist that they are highly sensitive to other people’s emotions and can “just tell how you feel” in order to manipulate you in some way for their own gain.
 
What Is an Empath?
 
A real empath is a person who can tune in, or feel, the emotions of others. This extends to animals and even the emotional “vibe” of certain places. Oftentimes, empaths are portrayed as having a psychic ability similar to mind reading.
 
Fake empaths particularly love the recognition that comes with this theory. While some might believe in the psychic aspects, others lean more towards the idea that empaths are just highly sensitive to emotions and actively try to feel the emotions of others.
 
Real empaths are born with their abilities and may never know they have such a gift. They may live their entire lives assuming that it’s normal to pick up on everyone’s emotions so easily. With or without their knowledge, empaths use a whole array of tools to understand another person’s emotions. These include body language, tone of voice and even the words a person uses. Fake empaths are unlikely to even notice such subtle changes.
 
For strongly empathic people, distance has no impact on their abilities. Even live TV, documentaries and reality shows can give emotional impressions to an empath. For this reason, real empaths will often avoid seeing shows that are heavy with emotion.
 
 
5 Differences between Fake Empaths and Real Empaths
 
1. They Want to Diagnose You
 
Fake empaths want to tell YOU how YOU feel. Instead of simply trying to understand and be in tune with how you feel, as a real empath would do, they want to read you. They want to diagnose your feelings and they want everyone to know about it.
 
For example, imagine you’re having a hard time and have been a little quieter than usual. A real empath would naturally feel this and would understand why. Be it anxiety or maybe sadness, they’ll feel it too. They probably won’t tell you that they feel your emotions too, they’ll just try to help without making a fuss.
 
A fake empath will turn it into a guessing game, without a sympathetic approach. They just want you to notice that they’ve “read you”.
 
2. They Don’t Take “No” Well
 
If a fake empath comes up with an incorrect assumption of you, which is most likely, they won’t handle being corrected very well. Fake empaths pretend to be this way for attention and to feel like they have a special power that makes them superior, and sometimes even god-like.
 
Whilst a real empath would be apologetic and uncomfortable if they had been wrong about how you felt, a fake one would be defensive. They’re likely to insist that you’re wrong about your own emotions. After all, they’re the ones with the magical powers, right?
 
3. They Will Note Your Negative Emotions, Not Positive Ones
 
Fake empaths want to feel like they’ve caught you out, so they’ll try to reveal emotions you would be keeping secret. If they think you’re angry at someone, they’ll announce that “they can feel it” because they’re empathetic. The same goes for any sadness or discomfort they might think you have.
 
Real empaths enjoy when others feel positive emotions because they can feel it too. They get to share in the good feelings and they’re happy to tell you they’re experiencing the same emotions. Fake empaths won’t bother with noting your positive emotions, because they’re not as exciting or dramatic enough to get them attention.
 
4. They Tell Everyone They’re Empaths
 
There are very few signs that make it clearer that someone is not an empath than them telling everyone that they are. Real empaths don’t need or want the attention and confusion that comes from sharing their abilities. If you reveal that you can feel the emotions of others, you’re likely to be met with questions. Fake empaths love this. They crave the attention.
 
5. They Blame Emotional Influence
 
As a real empath, you’re constantly taking in the emotional experiences of the people and places around you. This can be fatiguing and will have some impact on your own mood. Fake empaths will let this be an excuse for their bad moods and bad behavior, while real empaths would never.
 
Real empaths understand that it is possible to be influenced by the outside world, but they wouldn’t let it become negative or impact the people around them. If emotions get too strong, they would rather take themselves away for a while than hurt their family or friends.
 
Fake empaths will become angry and even rude and snappy, then blame it on the influence of others instead of taking responsibility for lashing out.
 
Fake Empaths Can Be Dangerous
 
Fake empaths are particularly dangerous people because of their assumed control over your emotions. In order to protect yourself from these people, it’s important to know the differences between things a fake empath and a real one. If someone in your life shows signs of being fake, it’s best to stay away.
 
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://medium.com
 
 
 

 

Becky Storey
 

 




 

About the Author: Becky Storey


 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 23:11
Segunda-feira, 23 / 03 / 20

How to Avoid Emotional Distancing in Times of Social Distancing

How to Avoid Emotional Distancing in Times of Social Distancing.

Lottie Miles, M.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted March 22, 2020.

 
Emotional Distancing social Distancing.

 
 

 
When we feel lonely or overwhelmed by the situation we are in, we can easily fall into the trap of emotionally distancing ourselves from others. In this post, we will look at how you can avoid emotional distancing when socially distancing.
 
The effects of the coronavirus have been more far-reaching than most of us could ever have imagined. Fortunately, all of us can successfully help prevent the exponential spread of coronavirus. What we need to do is to reduce our social contact with others by practicing ‘social distancing’.
 
This means cutting down on all non-essential contact with others even if we are healthy ourselves. However, when we spend more time on our own or in close quarters with just one or two others, we can sometimes feel lonely.
 
What Is Social Distancing?
 
“Remaining out of congregate settings, avoiding mass gatherings, and maintaining distance (approximately 6 feet or 2 meters) from others when possible” – Center for Disease Control
 
Social distancing refers to steps taken to reduce our social interactions with other people to stop the spread of infections. This usually involves curtailing all contact that is purely social and sometimes staying away from work and school even when healthy.
 
It means limiting face-to-face time with our loved ones and our friends if we do not live with these groups. It means doing this, even if we personally show no symptoms or are unlikely to suffer an extreme reaction to the coronavirus.
 
Coronavirus is highly contagious and an estimated 15% of cases will require hospital care, with a further 5% requiring ICU care. For this reason, social distancing is vital to stop the spread.
 
Social distancing can help hospitals with limited resources and prevent the speed of virus spread. Moreover, it can buy time for the global community to find vaccines, cures, and source vital equipment to help those who need it before more lives are unnecessarily lost.
 
Why Is Social Distancing Important?
 
The value of social distancing is shown most starkly in the contrasting death rates between South Korea and Italy which both saw 10 people killed by the coronavirus at about the same time.
 
With social distancing and an effective testing program in South Korea, under 100 people have died from coronavirus, compared to almost 5,000 deaths in Italy as of late March 2020. Ultimately, by practicing social distancing, you can save lives.
 
What Is Emotional Distancing?
 
Emotional distancing can occur if we live on our own, with friends, or with a partner. Typically, we can be drawn to isolate ourselves emotionally when overwhelmed by demands in a relationship or other stresses.
 
As the discussion above shows, we have a lot to be overwhelmed by at the moment. Moreover, practicing social distancing can lead to us feeling lonely because of our physical separation from others.
 
Fortunately, there are steps we can take to help stop us from feeling lonely. The first step is recognizing when we may be becoming emotionally distant.
 
 
Below, we outline 3 ways to avoid emotional distancing during social distancing
 
These will help us all feel connected during these emotionally challenging times.
 
 
Practice emotional connectivity
 
Spending time alone can help us to reconnect with ourselves emotionally. We also have to try and remember that being alone physically does not have to mean we feel alone mentally. We can realize this by practicing feeling emotionally connected by remembering things we have done with others in the past. This could be acts of kindness people have done for us or acts of kindness we have done for others.
 
We can also feel more connected to people by taking the time to think about who we care about as well as ourselves. This could be a small group of people close to you or broader.
 
Simply by recognizing our care for others and taking time to think about this, we can feel more connected to others. We can also engage with supporting the people more isolated than ourselves by organizing collectively to minimize our overall social contact.
 
 
Stay virtually connected
 
Not being able to see people face-to-face can be hard. Thankfully, with video calls, text, email, and phone calls, we can feel much closer to our nearest and dearest when socially distancing. It is a great idea to ramp up this form of connectivity as we more stringently socially distance ourselves from others.
 
Indeed, we may find ourselves benefiting from more regular contact with our loved ones than if we could simply pop round. We can give ourselves space from those we share close quarters with and foster relationships with those further away.
 
 
Practice kindness and gratitude
 
If we are socially isolating or socially distancing with others in our homes, then we can become emotionally distant with those we share physical space with. We can combat this by being open and honest about how we are feeling.
 
Early on, it can be beneficial to recognize some of the aspects of ‘quarantine’ that you may find challenging. Whilst we can be tempted to evade things that make us feel uncomfortable, avoidance coping can be unhealthy.
 
Actively practicing kindness to one another and ourselves can help to make us feel closer to each other. Do you find yourself feeling distant or irritable with those you share space with? Actively focusing on being kind and grateful to have them is a way to stave off emotional distancing.
It can be tempting to see ourselves as invincible to the consequences of the coronavirus.
 
However, it is important to remember that our actions have consequences for others as well as ourselves. Socially distancing has been shown to be vital in the fight against coronavirus. It is something we all need to take seriously.
 
Fortunately, when socially distancing ourselves from others, we can remind ourselves that we are connected emotionally as well as physically. By realizing this, we can avoid emotionally distancing ourselves during social distancing.


 

 

Lottie Miles

 






 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 00:18
Sábado, 21 / 03 / 20

Social Distancing from an Introvert’s Point of View.

Social Distancing from an Introvert’s Point of View.

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

March 20th, 2020

 

 

 
 
 
We’re living in strange and unprecedented times right now and it can all feel a little overwhelming. We’re (hopefully) all pulling our own weight and following the advice of professionals. Together with keeping up our hand washing and general cleanliness in public places, the whole world has been given one clear instruction – practice social distancing.
 
Before the Coronavirus (COVID-19) Outbreak, I had never heard the term “social distancing” and I think it’s fair to say I’m not the only one. It is a new phrase sweeping the globe and it’s been a bit of an adjustment for some. But for the others, we’ve have been practicing social distancing all our lives without even noticing.
 
Being an introvert and social distancing go hand in hand.
What Is Social Distancing?
 
Governments and medical professionals all over the world have requested that we all practice social distancing. This strategy’s aim is to reduce and slow down the spread of the virus, so we don’t overwhelm our medical services and hospitals.
 
The rules of social distancing are simple, and incredibly attractive to an introvert. Stay in your own home as much as possible – easy. Avoid gatherings and large crowds – delightful. Work from home and avoid public transport – done and done. If you do have to go out, avoid other people – what more could we want!?
 
If we all follow these rules, even if we feel completely healthy, we can prevent the virus from spreading must further and we can minimize the risk of vulnerable people catching it.
What Is Social Distancing to An Introvert?
 
Whilst everyone else is panicking about what they’ll do during this time of social distancing, introverts aren’t feeling much different at all. We all feel the stress and the fear, but being self-isolated isn’t the issue.
 
We’ve honed the art of being alone after years of voluntary isolation. Except, to an introvert, it’s not isolation at all, it’s necessary me-time. Constant social interaction, large crowds and being out in the world all day can be exhausting for an introvert. Our homes are our safe places that we retreat to for refueling. It is now a government instruction that we have to stay home as much as possible, which means never running low on fuel at all.
 
Most of us introverts will understand the nerves that arrive on Friday as we start to worry that we’ll be invited out. Weekends are prime time for parties, loud gatherings and late nights. Fridays are for planning your excuses. What better excuse than a government-imposed social distancing scheme.
 
“Sorry, I can’t go out. The Government says no.” There’s never been a more legitimate excuse since our Mothers were in charge of our schedule.
 
Even better is the reduction in invites altogether. Suddenly there is no expectation to get out there and overwhelm and exhaust yourself. We are free to be as introverted as we need.
What Can Extroverts Learn from Social Distancing?
 
Extroverts thrive in the presence of company. For some, it truly is the more the merrier. Their love of being around others could make this time of social distancing feel quite difficult. Fortunately, there’s plenty to be learned from their fellow introverts.
 
What better time than now to learn how to be comfortable in your own company. A great skill to have is the ability to entertain yourself and be alone with your thoughts.
 
Extroverts tend to have a habit of filling their time and mind so much that they don’t have to consider their deeper thoughts. It’s time to start learning who you really are and what you really want. This quiet time could totally transform the way you think if you use it well.
 
Extroverts are often busier people in general because unlike an introvert, they excel in “full-on” situations. Busy work lets you ignore your thoughts and any troubles that might be brewing under the surface. Social distancing is forcing us to slow down. No more mindlessness. This time brings opportunities for quiet activities extroverts might normally avoid. Try meditation, baking, yoga or writing.
 
What Has Social Distancing Taught Introverts?
 
Introverts love to be alone, or maybe at best with our close circle of loved ones. Unfortunately, this forced social distancing is making even the most introverted amongst us miss the company of others.
 
As an introvert myself, I already feel like I’ll never take for granted or roll my eyes at invitations to be with friends or family. We all need a little company sometimes. People may be loud and a bit much sometimes, but surely, it’s better than staying away from everyone and everything for an uncertain amount of time.
 
During this time of uncertainly and anxiety, revel in the opportunity to grow and learn as people. Extroverts should be taking social distancing as a chance to practice peace and quiet. Introverts love the space to think and just be as they are.
 
Extroverts could gain so much perspective by taking on some introverted traits while we wait this phase-out, just as introverts could learn an awful lot from those extroverted traits we covet. Introverts should be using this time to be a little more grateful for communities, for the ability to socialize. It’s barely been a week and I’d give just about anything to be in an overwhelming loud crowd right about now.
 
 
References:
  1. https://www.who.int
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com
 
 

 

Becky Storey
 

 




 

About the Author: Becky Storey


 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

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publicado por achama às 20:29
Sexta-feira, 20 / 03 / 20

What Is Willful Ignorance and 5 Examples of How It Works

What Is Willful Ignorance 

and 5 Examples of How It Works

Lottie Miles, M.A.

learning-mind.com

Posted March 19, 2020.

 
Willful Ignorance Examples.

 
 
 
Willful ignorance is built on the deliberate avoidance of evidence that doesn’t match one’s existing beliefs. This can be a defense mechanism as it allows us to create a world we feel safe in, akin to confirmation bias.
 
However, it is also often apparent in behavior that is socially harmful. In this post, we will explore what willful ignorance is and explore this in examples of how it works in everyday life.
 
What Is Willful Ignorance?
 
As already outlined, it necessarily involves the deliberate omission of information in a decision-making process. If we are unaware of information, then we would simply be ignorant of something.
 
It can appear in all sorts of ways in our everyday lives, from ignoring issues that make us feel bad to rejecting irrefutable evidence that doesn’t match our world view. Willful ignorance is also sometimes termed willful blindness, as in Margaret Heffernan’s interesting exploration of the topic. She notes that:
 
“what we choose to let through and to leave out is crucial. We mostly admit the information that makes us feel great about ourselves, while conveniently filtering whatever unsettles our fragile egos and most vital beliefs”
 
Being willfully ignorant can sometimes protect the brain and work as a defense mechanism. It helps people overcome situations they would otherwise find too much. However, in extreme cases, it can actually lead us to take certain courses of action that can be harmful to ourselves or others. It can also prevent us from taking necessary actions that we should do but do not.
 
5 Examples of How Willful Ignorance Works in Everyday Life
 
Being deliberately ignorant about certain matters can help to protect us from scenarios we cannot face. However, being too willfully ignorant can also lead us to cause social harm. It can prevent us from making changes in our lives and be potentially dangerous for our entire existence.
 
Here, we outline 5 different ways willful ignorance plays out in our daily lives from the mundane through to the serious.
 
Sport
 
Sport offers a useful way to explore common benign ways people enact willful ignorance in their lives. For example, be it basketball or soccer, if you are the player on a team, more often than not every decision that goes against you appears to be wrong.
 
Even though sports stars know their actions are on video, they can still appeal against decisions seemingly convinced that what they just did, didn’t happen. Equally, fans watching the game may employ willful blindness to the bad actions of players on the team they support.
 
Creationism & Intelligent Design
 
Creationists necessarily have to create new narratives to explain away evidence for evolution. Rather than looking at evidence as building blocks, creationist science seeks to manipulate the building blocks until they match the existing ideology.
 
Indeed, both creationists and intelligent design ‘scientists’ have to ignore hundreds of studies. These studies verify certain facts of evolution confirmed at both a micro and macroevolutionary scale so they cannot be confronted, only circumvented. This protects them on an emotional level by defending their world view.
 
Education
 
Self-deception through willful ignorance can have beneficial and detrimental effects when it comes to education. For example, if we receive a low score in a test and blame it on the course content not matching the exam, we may feel better about ourselves. However, to do this, we may need to ignore the fact other people we know scored highly on the test.
 
If we feel okay with a low score, we may not take the time to reflect on what we could have done differently to achieve a better result. As such, it is important to recognize if we are willfully ignoring things that may help us take positive actions in our lives.
 
Health
 
A common area where most people will have a personal understanding of willful ignorance is being healthy. In this case, being willfully ignorant can have negative consequences for the individual and society at large.
 
We all know smoking is bad, alcohol is bad, ice cream is bad. However, this fact alone is insufficient to prevent many of us from consuming these things. This is akin to cognitive dissonance. But there are ways we can recognize and overcome this way of thinking and being.
 
Health also provides an example of where willful ignorance can harm others as well as ourselves. For example, according to the WHO ‘vaccine hesitancy is one of the top 10 global health threats’.
 
Movements like the anti-vaxxers have grown in popularity, especially in Europe. This has seen a rise in people unsure about the safety of vaccines. In fact, 21 percent of the global population is now feeling this way.
 
Climate change
 
Climate change perhaps best represents how being willfully ignorant can be both useful as a defense mechanism and socially harmful to ourselves and others. More and more people are experiencing climate change distress. Thus, a certain amount of willful blindness is necessary for many people in order to protect their mental well-being.
 
However, if everyone practices willful blindness about the issue of climate change, then climate catastrophe for most on the planet will lie ahead.
 
Final Words
 
From this exploration of common examples of willful ignorance in everyday life, it is clear that it is somewhat of a double-edged sword. It can be an effective defense mechanism protecting us from events that challenge our comfortable world view. But it can also have negative consequences if we leave it unchecked.


 

 

Lottie Miles

 






 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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publicado por achama às 01:01
Quinta-feira, 19 / 03 / 20

Persecution Complex: What Causes It and What Are the Symptoms?

Persecution Complex: 

What Causes It and What Are the Symptoms?

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

March 19th, 2020.

 
persecution complex.
 
 
 
Do you sometimes feel that everyone is against you? That the world has it in for you? Or that people are out to get you? You could be suffering from a persecution complex.
 
Those statements might sound pretty outrageous, and to most of us, they are. However, did you know that according to research, at least 10 – 15% of us regularly experience these kinds of delusions?
 
Of course, we all get paranoid thoughts and feelings of persecution occasionally. It’s easy to blame outside forces when things don’t go our way. But for some people, it is a pervasive way of thinking that severely disrupts their life.
 
So what exactly is this complex?
 
What is a persecution complex?
 
This complex arises when a person falsely believes that someone is out to cause them harm. The intensity and longevity of these feelings can differ, as can the object of the paranoia.
 
For example, an employee can believe the whole office staff is against her and deliberately undermining her chances of promotion. Or an individual can think they are being persecuted by government agents who are trying to frame them for crimes they did not commit.
 
Examples of persecution complexes:
My husband is trying to poison me because he has a new lover and wants me out of the way.
  • I know the police are tapping my phones.
  • I have to go to the self-service tills because the shop assistants have been told not to serve me.
  • My neighbours are stealing my washing from the line while I’m at work.
 
In all examples, sufferers believe that either a person, group of people or an organisation is going to cause them harm.
 
Sufferers from a persecution complex will typically talk in vague terms. They will say ‘They’re out to get me’ or ‘Someone’s listening to my calls’. However, when pressed further they are unable to identify the perpetrator.
 
So where does this delusion come from and who is likely to suffer from it?
 
Where does a persecution complex come from?
 
Sufferers share three common aspects in the way they think, feel and then act. To understand this complex further we need to examine three main human behavioural processes:
  1. Emotional processing
  2. Abnormal internal events
 
1. Emotional processing
 
Studies show that those who suffer from this complex tend to think with more emotion when it comes to their social experiences. They view their interactions with others through an emotional lens, rather than a logical one.
 
As a result, sufferers get upset at everyday occurrences and react with more impulsivity. The main problem, however, with viewing everyday incidents through an emotional lens is that a sufferer will attribute greater meaning to non-events.
 
2. Abnormal internal events
 
Emotional processing is just one aspect of a persecution complex. The second is that sufferers misconstrue what is happening to them externally in the environment.
 
In order for them to rationalise what’s going on in their heads, they’ll fixate on something outside of them. For example, a person with anxiety might attribute their anxious state because they believe they are being watched.
 
Or someone who has been ill recently might believe they are being slowly poisoned. In all cases, they attribute their internal thoughts to outside events.
 
3. Reasoning biases
 
Studies have found that persecution complexes are perpetuated by cognitive biases. In other words, sufferers are likely to use biases when they think. For instance, jumping to conclusions, black and white thinking and blaming other people instead of themselves.
 
For example, someone who jumps to conclusions might view the black car that is driving up and down their road as a government spy. Those with normal reasoning might just assume the driver was lost.
 
Who is more likely to suffer?
 
As well as the above three common traits, there are other commonalities that sufferers may share.
 
Childhood trauma – Psychosis and paranoia can be linked to neglect, abuse and trauma in childhood.
 
Genetics – Delusional thinking is more common in those who already have a family member suffering from a psychosis such as schizophrenia.
 
Low self-worth – People with a low sense of self-worth, who are vulnerable to criticism and have little self-esteem are more likely to succumb to paranoid delusions.
 
Overly-critical of themselves – Research has shown that those who are overly critical of themselves can suffer from a persecution complex.
 
Worriers – Those with a persecution complex have a tendency to worry and ruminate more than the average person. They’ll also catastrophize and fantasise about implausible outcomes.
 
Over-sensitive – People with paranoid delusions can appear oversensitive to criticism from others. They are more likely to perceive a light-hearted comment as a personal attack on them.
 
Treatment of a persecution complex
 
Treating this delusion will vary according to the overriding symptoms and underlying causes.
 
For instance:
  • Learning to control the original anxiety can reduce the feelings of persecution.
  • Recognising one’s thought patterns, such as catastrophizing and black and white thinking can increase feelings of paranoia.
  • Learning to reduce time spent worrying will decrease the likelihood of a paranoid episode.
  • Addressing past trauma from childhood can lead to significant reductions in symptoms.
  • Cognitive-behavioural therapy can help sufferers reduce their negative thought patterns.
 
Final thoughts
 
Living with a persecution complex is not only surprisingly common but can be extremely debilitating. However, treatments are available and you can, with professional help, learn to manage the symptoms.
 
 
References:
  1. www.wired.com
  2. www.verywellmind.com


Janey Davies



About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

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publicado por achama às 23:56
Terça-feira, 17 / 03 / 20

Outcome Bias: How It Leads You to Disaster and How to Avoid It

Outcome Bias: 

How It Leads You to Disaster and How to Avoid It

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

March 17th, 2020.

 
outcome bias.
 
 
 
Cognitive biases shape our everyday experiences and influence our decision-making. But one bias, in particular, can be extremely dangerous – the outcome bias.
 
What Is an Outcome Bias?
 
The outcome bias can make you focus on the end result and ignore the risks along the way. When we already know the outcome of a specific task, we can become blind to the dangers that might present during the process.
 
  • “When people observe successful outcomes, they tend to focus on the results more than on the (often unseen) complex processes that led to them.” Tinsley, Dillon, Madsen
 
This usually happens when we have repeated a task and achieved a good result at the end. This gives us the impression that every time we undertake this task, the results will be good.
 
But lots of things can happen during the process.
 
For example, imagine you live in an area prone to flooding. So far, in the twenty years you have lived in your house, the floodwaters have never been close to reaching your property. Do you buy flood insurance?
 
Many people would say no. The floods have not affected you for twenty years. But then the following year you see exceptional levels of rain and the river banks burst, flooding your house.
 
Studies show that if a person experiences a near-miss where they’ve escaped a potential hazard, they are less likely to take protective action. They’ll have an “I was alright last time, it will be alright again,” attitude.
 
Instead of evaluating the situation as it unfolds, they are focusing on past outcomes to inform their future decisions. But this is a rapidly changing world. So why do we feel the need to concentrate on the results, rather than the process?
 
Why do we experience it?
 
Human beings are continually trying to make sense of the world and to do this, we have to take shortcuts in our cognitive processing. We can’t evaluate every single new experience and try and decode it.
 
As a result, we learn these cognitive shortcuts. In the outcome bias, we do this by evaluating a situation against a previous one. If the previous situation had a good outcome, then we’ll chalk that up to a good decision. It’s a little like we’re using the power of retroactive hindsight when we focus on the outcome. It worked before, it will work again.
 
But is the outcome bias such a bad thing? Surely learning from past experiences is a good thing for humans?
 
Yes, it is, but the problem with the outcome bias is that we are not learning from our previous experiences. We are simply replicating them. And that’s where it gets dangerous. Because we fool ourselves into thinking that our decisions don’t matter, and they do of course.
 
Famous examples of disastrous outcome bias
 
Deepwater Horizon Oil Rig
 
In April 2010, a gas blowout safety mechanism failed on BP Gulf’s oil ring. The blowout ignited which caused the rig to sink, triggering a massive oil spill that wrecked wildlife and killed 11 people. This accident is one of the worst environmental disasters in American history.
 
But why did it happen? There had been warning signs.
 
The crew on the rig called it ‘the well from hell’ because of numerous technical problems. For a start, the main pipe that led into the well didn’t have enough centralizers in place to keep it straight. In addition, the drillers had removed the drilling mud too soon which lead to an unstable pipe.
 
The night before the blowout crew had performed a negative pressure test on the pipe to see if it was leaking oil and gas. Basically, this meant removing the heavy mud and replacing it with lighter seawater. In order to see if pressure built up the well was shut down. Pressure-build up is a sure sign that oil and gas were seeping into the well.
 
The tests showed that pressure had indeed built up, but BP managers and rig crew disagreed on the results. The test had to be repeated as no one could agree. After repeating the test now everyone agreed they had a good result and many crew members went to bed.
 
But it wasn’t a good result.
 
Over the next few hours, hundreds of barrels of oil and gas were leaking out and travelling up the pipe with increasing momentum. This roiling mass of pressure burst through the safety blowout and just kept going. Eventually, it ignited, blowing up the oil rig.
 
An ensuring investigation took years to complete, but it found a catalogue of errors that lead to this disaster. BP executives had experienced dozens of near-misses in the industry but with no major consequences.
 
However, each near-miss was down to sheer luck or circumstances, not good decision-making. For example, wind direction, or using different safety equipment. But instead of raising alarms and being carefully investigated, each near-miss was viewed that the safety procedures were working.
 
The Challenger Space Shuttle
 
Most of us can remember the horrific sight of the Challenger Space Shuttle breaking up in mid-air.
 
In January 1986, 73 seconds after it was launched, NASA’s Challenger space shuttle exploded. Seven astronauts were killed instantly, including a teacher. Broadcast live, this launch happened with millions of spectators around the world watching. So what went so drastically wrong?
 
Investigators attributed the accident to a failure of an O ring seal. This was a sealing ring that should have protected two joints in the lower parts of the rocket. The seal was designed to stop extremely hot gases from leaking from these two joints.
 
However, it broke, the gas escaped causing foam to break off an external rocket tank. This created shards of debris that pierced a hole through the wing of the space shuttle and causing it to explode.
 
Many people questioned why the launch went ahead as the initial recommendation was to cancel, due to the extreme cold temperatures on that day. However, the decision to launch was made.
 
The following investigation showed that doubts had been initially raised by the failure of the O rings on previous flights. But they were effectively ignored because their failures had never caused damage before.
 
In fact, Richard Feynman, a professor of theoretical physics and part of the investigation, stated:
 
“There were many seals that didn’t have any problem, and so it is obviously a random effect. It depends upon whether or not you get a blowhole or you don’t get a blowhole. So if within a particular flight it happens that all six seals don’t get a blowhole, that’s no information.”
 
Mars probe
 
And I can show you another example of NASA’s failure to properly investigate an anomaly in space travel which led to disaster.
 
During its 1998 journey towards Mars, the Mars Climate Orbiter kept drifting off-course. Actually, it drifted four times and each time analysts on Earth had to make small adjustments to correct it.
 
Scientists did not try to find the cause of the drifting of a $200 million spacecraft. Instead, they carried on correcting the trajectory. As it approached Mars, instead of entering into orbit, it crashed and broke up in the atmosphere.
 
NASA investigators later discovered that the programmers had mistakenly used English measurements instead of metric ones when they set the code for the journey. A mistake easily rectified, but because it wasn’t causing much concern and they could fix it during its journey, they didn’t look into the drifting.
Four ways you can avoid outcome bias
 
Of course, we’re not all in charge of expensive oil rigs or space shuttles, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be wary of outcome bias. Here are four ways to avoid it:
 
Don’t act under pressure
 
Feeling under pressure leads to hastily-made decisions where we could be tempted to rely on the outcome, rather than the procedure.
 
Don’t rely on previous experiences
 
Of course, it is natural to examine past scenarios and make judgements against those. But where near-misses are concerned we should take each case on an individual basis.
 
Look at the cause, not the result
 
Again, this is difficult but we need to see what is happening now, and not concentrate on the results of what happened before.
 
When in doubt, assume the worse
 
Just because some experience worked out before, doesn’t guarantee that it will have a favourable outcome again. Always assume the worse.
 
Final thoughts
 
Remember, just because you’ve had good results time and time again, doesn’t mean you can predict the same results this time around.
 
References:
  1. onlinelibrary.wiley.com
  2. sas.upenn.edu
  3. hbr.org


Janey Davies



About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

Archives:



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

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publicado por achama às 17:59
Quinta-feira, 12 / 03 / 20

Personality in the Workplace: 9 Most Difficult Types.

Personality in the Workplace: 

9 Most Difficult Types.

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

March 12th, 2020.

 
Personality in the Workplace.
 
 
 
Over the years, I’ve worked in a lot of different jobs. From factory floors to secretarial roles, it doesn’t seem to matter which. There’s always one personality in the workplace that gets on everyone’s nerves.
 
And that gave me an idea. There must be specific personality types in the workplace that everyone recognises and secretly despises. So let’s bring them out into the open where they belong.
 
9 Most Difficult Types of Personality in the Workplace
 
The Under-Miner
 
I remember starting work at an electrical contracting company as a secretary and the firm consisted of all men. One man, in particular, was a sneaky ‘whisper in the ear’ kind of guy that would say things to undermine my confidence.
 
It was my first time working as a secretary, so I was new to the role and didn’t know what was expected of me. This one guy would appear to offer help and advice but then add a kind of afterthought that made me doubt my decision or actions.
 
This kind of personality in the workplace is undermining you to get ahead themselves by making you look bad.
 
The Ass-Kisser
 
I’ve come across several of these in my time. The person that rushes up to the boss with a tea or coffee as soon as they walk through the door. The ones that always turn up early to work and leave late to show willing.
 
They make everyone else feel as if they aren’t doing as much as they should. This sort of personality feeds resentment in the workplace. I mean, no one likes an ass-kisser in any walk of life.
 
So why do they act this way? Because they have a need to feel special and favourite.
 
The Gossip
 
You often get cliques forming in certain workplace environments, and this is where you’ll find our third difficult workplace personality – the gossip.
 
This person loves to spread rumours and lies about people. They play colleagues off one another to cause friction. In fact, this is really a form of bullying. Gossips feel better about themselves by making others feel worse. Gossip isolates people and it’s particularly insidious in small companies.
 
The Over-Sharer
 
I once worked in a factory office and I was leaving the job and training up my replacement. She didn’t know anyone there and had only been learning the job for two days.
 
The office was open plan and had around 50 employees working there. One day, in a very loud voice, she informed me that this was her first real fulltime position after she had miscarried her baby.
 
This came out of nowhere. It was loud enough for everyone close by to hear. I didn’t really know her that well, but she proceeded to go into quite revealing details about the miscarriage and the treatment in hospital. The over-sharer wants everyone to know their most intimate private details.
 
The Perfectionist
 
Have you ever had to stay late because your team leader wants just ‘one more draft’ before you go? This is the work of the perfectionist, and she or he can keep us at work for hours. Nothing is ever finished, nothing is ever good enough. You can deliver the most perfect content and it will come back with suggestions or edits.
 
The problem with this personality is that they are probably not just like this in the workplace. They are more than likely to be perfectionists at home too. So it’s not something they do to get at colleagues, it’s in their nature.
 
The Depressive
 
Whatever you say to the depressive, it will never work and it won’t succeed. The depressive is the one with a negative attitude toward everything.
 
The thing is, they never have a suggestion for what might work. They just need to tell you that your idea won’t work. And it doesn’t matter how many different solutions you put to them, none will get through. Their only role in life is to put down everything everyone suggests and bring us all down to their depressive level.
 
The Critic
 
On the other hand, we have the critic. Now, you might think the depressive and the critic are the same, but they’re not.
 
The critic will take great delight in criticising your work or your ideas. They get their energy from contradicting what you say. They are even known to make up bogus facts and figures to make their argument seem valid.
 
To them, this is a fight, a battle, a duel to the end. There can only be one winner and they’ll do everything in their power to win. These are the kind of people that argue black is white.
 
The Slacker
 
We all know someone who doesn’t pull their fair share of work. Actually, when I was younger it was me! I worked in a reject kitchen shop and was responsible for the packing up of orders. In the warehouse, boxes were stored at the back. Because most of the stuff we sold was jumpers and knitted accessories, the boxes were very soft.
 
You could make a nice little nest from these boxes where you would be hidden from the main part of the warehouse. My friend and I would take it in turns to have little afternoon naps for half an hour while the other would keep an eye out for the boss. Hey, I was 17!
 
The Weirdo
 
I’ve also worked with some weirdos in my time. One stands out in particular. This is another office tale. We had a smoking room in the days where you were allowed to smoke indoors and there was one guy who used the smoking room that everyone else avoided talking to.
 
I was told some rumours and gossip about him but decided to make up my own mind. Anyone, we got talking and sort of became friends over time. Then one day he said, “I’ve told my friend I’ve met someone.” I said that I thought that was great, and he looked puzzled and said ‘It’s you’.
 
I was a bit worried then he started sending me emails, asking me out, turning up at my flat, coming into work drunk and finally threatening me. In the end, because the company didn’t do anything, I left.
 
Final thoughts
 
Can you identify with any of these difficult personality types in the workplace or do you know any I haven’t covered? Let me know!
 
 
References:

  1. inc.com
  2. imgur.com


Janey Davies

 





About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

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publicado por achama às 18:20
Terça-feira, 10 / 03 / 20

How Safety Bias Tricks Socially Anxious People into Toxic Avoidance.

How Safety Bias Tricks Socially Anxious People into Toxic Avoidance.

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

March 9th, 2020.

 
safety bias social anxiety.
 

 
 
People with social anxiety are often told to face their fears. That gradual exposure to social situations will improve their anxiety. But research suggests those that do not improve are using safety bias tricks without realising. So what are these tricks and how do they lead to avoidance?
 
What Are Safety Bias Behaviours?
 
Socially anxious people fear social situations for a number of reasons. Some may feel trapped, others suffer from cripplingly low self-esteem, and some simply have anxiety attacks in social settings.
 
With all types of anxiety disorders, the treatment suggested is a gradual exposure to the fear-producing situation. The premise is to introduce the person very gradually to situations that cause slight anxiety. Once the person learns to stay in the situation and manage the fear, they can move onto a higher level of anxiety.
 
The idea is that by staying in the fear-producing setting, the person learns that nothing untoward happens and eventually the fear subsides. By the end, the person has overcome their social phobia.
 
This is all well and good. But as someone with a phobia will tell you, it’s never that simple. And researchers have found that socially anxious people are using safety bias tricks to avoid social situations. So let’s get down to it; what are these behaviors?
 
12 Safety Bias Tricks People with Social Anxiety Use
 
Safety bias makes a person undertake certain behaviours during a social setting which are designed to make them feel better, or safe, but in fact, don’t.
 
Some examples include:
  1. Always getting the end seat in a cinema so you can leave quickly if you feel anxious during the film showing.
  2. Standing at the back of the meeting room so you can escape if needed.
  3. Ordering only drinks at lunch so you can leave quickly if you feel panicky.
  4. Talking quickly, speeding up your speech without pausing.
  5. Avoiding eye contact so that you won’t have to talk to people.
  6. Wearing boring and bland clothing so that you don’t attract attraction to yourself.
  7. Drinking or taking drugs to steady your nerves before the event.
  8. Avoiding substances such as caffeine that you know increases your adrenalin and makes you blush or sweat.
  9. Pretending you didn’t see someone or that you are not interested in the conversation so you don’t have to participate.
  10. Asking a lot of questions to take the attention off yourself.
  11. Taking on roles within a group with the least interaction with others, e.g. setting up equipment or handing out paperwork.
  12. Walking with your head down or your hands in your pockets to avoid interaction with others.
 
Now we all have behaviours that we repeat to make ourselves feel calmer and more confident. For example, wearing makeup, putting on flattering clothes, even drinking and smoking help us to a certain extent.
 
And you might think that there isn’t really a problem with a person using these kinds of tricks if they make them feel safer. But research shows that safety bias behaviours actually hinder a socially anxious person’s ability to overcome their fear.
 
To put this into context, I want to show you some extreme forms of safety bias behaviours.
 
Extreme Forms of Safety Behaviours
 
  • An agoraphobic might remove themselves entirely from society and stay indoors to keep themselves safe.
  • A person with OCD might wash their hands over 100 times to keep themselves safe.
  • A man who fears to have a stroke might move around slowly so he keeps himself safe from injury.
  • A CEO with a fear of public speaking might feign illness on the day she is due to give a speech to keep herself safe.
  • A person with a fear of vomiting might stop eating to keep themselves safe.
 
These are all extreme versions of our socially-anxious sufferers, but you can see that by using safety behaviours, you are actually making the problem worse, not better.
 
Why Safety Bias Behaviours Don’t Work
 
The problem is that these safety behaviours have immediate relief in the short term. If you don’t have to face the most frightening thing in your life, it can be incredibly relieving and feel really good. Not only that, but this good feeling reinforces that what you are doing must be right. But it only works short-term.
 
In the long-term, it is very damaging. This is because when you engage in safety bias behaviours, you are focusing on your anxiety and your fears. These are at the forefront of your mind at all times. You are constantly examining what’s happening and then reacting to these perceived threats. And don’t forget, that’s all they are – perceived, they are not real.
 
The problem is that after a while, you become accustomed to feeling like this in social situations. It’s all you know. And then it becomes a vicious circle of negative fear and reaction. You use your safety behaviours and gradually withdraw from society. And although in the short-term, you might feel relieved, you don’t feel better in the long-term.
 
So what would benefit socially-anxious sufferers instead of safety bias tricks? That old treatment of confronting your fears is true. But you have to do it properly. You have to learn that social situations are not threatening and that there are other ways of coping, without using maladaptive ways.
 
Healthy Ways of Coping with Social Stress
 
So what are these adaptive ways of coping with social stress?
Breathing exercises and relaxing techniques.
 
Learning to breathe slowly and reduce your heart rate are key to decreasing your panic levels.
 
Talking to yourself in the third person.
 
Studies show that by talking to yourself in the third person instead of ‘I’m going to panic’ saying ‘She’s going to panic’ takes the edge off and allows you to be objective.
 
Understand that if you are ill, people are kind.
 
I always had a fear of fainting in public which affected me going out. Then I saw someone faint and everyone was so kind and caring.
Being prepared for your work.
 
You can’t go wrong if you have prepared the life out of your project. Know it inside and out and you won’t feel anxious talking about it on the day.
Live in the moment.
 
There’s a lot of talk these days about living in the moment and not letting life pass you by. You can use this mantra to reduce panic by remembering this moment will pass and tonight you’ll be safe in your bed
.
Final thoughts
 
It’s tempting to use safety bias tricks to help us get through tough times, but they don’t work, they just waste time, so why not learn some useful ways of coping instead. In fact, check out our CBT page for helpful tips.

References:
  1. www.cambridge.org
  2. www.researchgate.net
  3. unsworks.unsw.edu.au

Janey Davies

 





About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

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publicado por achama às 08:24
Domingo, 23 / 02 / 20

5 Signs of Blame Shifting and How to Deal with It.

 

5 Signs of Blame Shifting and How to Deal with It.

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted February 23rd, 2020.

 
 

 
 
One of the things I despise the most is someone who can never take responsibility for their actions. Blame shifting is their second nature.
 
I hate to admit that I’m way too familiar with blame-shifting. For years of my life, I thought everything was my fault, even when obviously it wasn’t – it was complete with evidence in my favor. Did that evidence ever make the blame shifter stop in their tracks?
 
Nope. That’s because a blame shifter is good at what they do, and they will do it as long as they can get away with it.
 
Blame shifting is insidious
 
The biggest issue with blame-shifting is that it can greatly damage a healthy person’s self-esteem. This heinous act will leave you questioning facts about your life and about your character as well. Shifting the blame onto someone else can be dangerous and completely destroy lives.
 
I know all this sounds like an exaggeration, but unfortunately, it’s not. Many otherwise mentally healthy individuals have been hurt so badly that they constantly question their self-worth. Do you know what we need to do? We need to see blame shifters before they get to us.
 
Recognizing the storm before it hits
 
1. The apology with strings attached
 
If by chance, you get the blame shifter to apologize at all, which hardly ever happens, they will use the “I’m sorry, but…” tactic. What I mean by this is that they will apologize, but they have to add some sort of defensive mechanism to the apology.
 
Whether they are about to put some of the blame on you or make an excuse for their behavior, you will recognize them by their inability to apologize without the added “but”, which totally eliminates the sincerity of the responsibility. What they are doing is finding a crack to slip out from under what they’ve done wrong.
 
2. Because of this, and because of that
 
Shifting the blame can be as easy as using cause and effect. While cause and effect do exist, responsibility is the main concern. Listen to this small interaction to understand:
 
Real victim: “You really hurt my feelings when you yelled at me.”
 
Blame shifter: “Well, if you would stop complaining about the same thing over and over, I wouldn’t.”
 
There are two ways that the blame shifter is really in the wrong. First of all, they shouldn’t be continuing behavior that makes someone else constantly complain. Most people complain when something bothers them, and they want to communicate.
 
Blame shifters don’t usually communicate, and so the problem gets ignored. After much complaining, they use verbal abuse as a scare tactic. There are many other situations like this where toxic people use the cause and effect technique to excuse any blame placed on themselves.
 
3. No communication
 
Blame shifting always comes with the inability to communicate. While these people can talk about problems on the surface level, when they are proven wrong, they clam up. They have no excuses or reasons for their behavior. They may even outright lie.
 
Then, ultimately, they will say there’s no reason to discuss the issue anymore. This is so damaging because it leaves the issues hanging and they’re never resolved. Then this causes bitterness to set in. Many marriages have failed due to the lack of healthy and honest communication. And most of the time, you will recognize the blame shifter by their communication aversion.
 
4. The pity party
 
You will also know you have yourself a blame shifter when they start telling you stories about their troubled childhood and how it makes them the way they are. While many people really did have a bad childhood, the toxic person will tell this story and exaggerate it to keep from taking the blame for present issues or mistakes.
 
It’s also okay to talk about past issues and how they’ve made you do things, but you cannot use this excuse for every mistake you make. If you cannot take the blame for doing something now, you will always be a child. Watch out for the pity party.
5. Flipping the script
 
This is an old term, but it fits so perfectly with a tactic that the blame shifter uses. When they’ve been caught red-handed, their first response is shock, their second response is to find the quickest way to turn the incident over onto you… using you as the villain.
 
Now, I know what you must be thinking, “How could someone caught in the act make the victim look bad?”
 
Well, they use carefully calculated manipulation. For example, let’s say you went to see your husband at work and he wasn’t there, and so, when he arrived home at the usual time, you asked him about it.
 
Now, some people will lie and say they had to leave for this or that reason, but if the blame shifter wants, he can turn the attention to you. He might say, “Why were you stalking my workplace?”, “What is wrong with you?”, oh, and my favorite, “You still don’t trust me, do you?” and then proceed to make an excuse for where he was, then stay mad for several days.
 
The blame for the whole confrontation is now your fault. You should have minded your own business and stayed at home.
 
How do we deal with these people?
 
Well, I hope you never have to endure such people because they have serious issues with themselves. Never ever believe that these things are your fault. Anyone who cannot take logical blame for their imperfections has a problem that can only be fixed by them or by professional help.
 
If you happen to be in a marriage with someone like this or stuck in a situation you cannot get out of at the moment, you will have to find various ways to living with this issue, and it’s a difficult one.
 
Honestly, it’s almost impossible to confront someone like this without being verbally abused or taking their blame on yourself. This will make you unhealthy, both mentally and physically over time.
 
Your best outcome would be if your loved one came to you for help and genuinely wanted to change. Believe it or not, some people eventually see what they’ve become. In this case, it’s worth sticking around. If there is no desire to change, then the choice is yours.
 
Just remember, none of this nonsense is about you, and sometimes it’s best to walk away than to get into arguments with toxic people because you will never win. If this applies to you, I hope everything works out for the best.

 

Sherrie Hurd



Image credit: Stephen Hawking is giving a lecture for NASA’s 50th anniversary/NASA

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2020 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 22:27
Domingo, 09 / 02 / 20

Spiral of Silence Theory Explains Why You’d Rather Stay Quiet.

Spiral of Silence Theory Explains Why You’d Rather Stay Quiet.

Lottie Miles.

learning-mind.com

Posted February 8th, 2020.

 
spiral of silence theory.

 


 
 
 
During the 1970s, Elizabeth Noelle-Neumann, a German political scientist, developed the spiral of silence theory. Working in the context of post-World War Two Germany, Noelle-Neumann coined the theory. She sought to explain why individuals choose to remain silent when they believe their view isn’t held by the majority.
 
In this post, we look at how the spiral of silence can explain human behavior. We will also consider whether or not the theory is still relevant today.
 
Spiral of silence theory explained
 
The theory was coined by Elizabeth Noelle-Neumann in 1974. It was partly designed in an attempt to explain the lack of resistance to the Nazi regime. The idea of the spiral of silence suggests that people remain silent when they think their views are different from majority viewpoints.
 
According to the theory, this unwillingness to speak out is due to fear of social isolation. It is also due to the expected negative consequences of going against the perceived status quo. On the other hand, those confident their beliefs and opinions meet ‘public opinion’ can voice their thoughts without fear. This also perpetuates the silencing effect on those in the minority.
 
We are all able to determine what the prevailing ‘public opinion’ actually is, according to the theory. In Noelle-Neumann’s words, we all have a ‘quasi statistical sense’ of whether our own opinions are either popular or unpopular. This is based on the cues we have had from the mass media and our environment. In other words, we have a ‘sixth sense’ of the popular public consensus on a range of issues.
 
The spiral effect begins to occur as those who feel validated about their beliefs become more and more vocal. Concurrently, those in the minority lose confidence in expressing their opinions. This loss of confidence is built on the fear of rejection and subsequent social isolation.
 
As a result, the minority are silenced. In this way, predominating public opinion is seen as a form of social control in the spiral of silence theory.
 
Research into the theory
 
Since the theory of the spiral of silence was developed, there have been numerous studies that have tested it. These studies have sought to either prove or disprove its legitimacy. The majority of these studies have focused on the effect of the theory in political environments.
 
Most recently, a meta-analysis conducted by Matthes et al (2017) revisited the theory and the effect of the spiral of silence on either restricting or enabling the expression of political opinions. They analyzed 66 studies exploring this topic which collectively contained 27,000 participants.
 
The analysis found that there was a significant positive relationship between one’s perception of the prevailing opinion and the subsequent suppression of their own opinions. This was seen to be particularly acute when amongst family, friends, and neighbors.
 
Despite this result, there are critics of the theory. Some have criticized the assumption that we all have an in-built understanding of what the prevailing climate of opinion is, and whether there can actually be something that can be defined as such.
 
Others have questioned the theoretical underpinning that fear of isolation is a strong enough deterrent for silencing a minority opinion. There have also been criticisms of the theory’s failure to take into account cross-cultural differences. Others have noted that the nature of the issue itself can impact on the spiral of silence effect.
 
How relevant is the spiral of silence today?
 
With the rise of alternative online media channels and social media, critics of the spiral of silence are suggesting that the theory is no longer relevant. The theory was proposed pre-internet and was based on a mass-media that was relatively uniform.
 
Today, the mainstream media often follows the same trajectory. However, the internet has provided people the opportunity to seek alternative opinions. It has also given voice to those who have previously been disadvantaged by unequal power relations.
 
If an individual does not wish to publicly express their opinion amongst friends, family, or colleagues they may well do so anonymously via the internet. This is sometimes known as the online disinhibition effect. This itself creates its own spiral effect.
 
However, within this context, a minority opinion may no longer be felt as such. This is due to the fact that the World Wide Web enables the participation of many within the political domain.
 
The birth of the internet, therefore, has shifted the conversation around the spiral of silence into a new trajectory. While some believe the theory has had its day, others still see the theoretical concept as a useful means of exploring behavior.
 
Using it as a starting point for many studies into whether a climate of opinion can still be said to exist, and how this affects our willingness to speak out about controversial opinions that we deem to go against the grain.
Does it ring true for you?
 
The spiral of silence, therefore, may have struck a chord with your own behavior and responses. Ever felt silenced during a political conversation? Fear of isolation or rejection is certainly something we can all relate to.
 
So, while the spiral of silence theory may need some modern re-jigging, as a concept, it can certainly serve to explain those occasions where we ponder about what we could have said, only when it is too late to say it.
 
 

Lottie Miles

 






 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 03:25
Domingo, 02 / 02 / 20

Online Disinhibition Effect Explains Why Some People Become Jerks Online

Online Disinhibition Effect Explains Why Some People Become Jerks Online

Lottie Miles.

learning-mind.com

Posted February 1st, 2020.

 
Online Disinhibition Effect.

 

 
Trolling others is a common refrain for people online. Indeed, this behavior has become so common that it is now intensively studied by psychologists. Psychologists call this behavior the ‘online disinhibition effect’. But what is it that makes people behave this way? Who are internet trolls? Are some people more likely to act like jerks online or is it something intrinsic to the internet that makes this happen?
 
In this post, we will explore the answers to these questions by exploring 5 of the fundamental factors causing people to be jerks on the internet.
 
Understanding the online disinhibition effect
 
Dissociative Anonymity
 
One thing people quickly learn as they peruse the internet is that people you engage with cannot tell who you are. Whilst the technically savvy could probably detect them easily with some computer wizardry, most people only see what you choose to display. Dissociative anonymity (and the online disinhibition effect) stems from the feelings generated from this ability to become ‘anonymous’. These feelings result in people losing their inhibitions.
 
The disinhibiting effects of dissociative anonymity can help people to open up. They know what they say or do won’t be linked back to them in their daily lives after all. However, whilst online disinhibition can be benign, it can also be toxic.
 
Indeed, the history of trolling shows this. People can be encouraged to be more deviant, rude, and racist. In fact, online jerks will say all the socially inappropriate things they can think of due to the lack of consequences.
 
Being invisible
 
The effects of dissociative anonymity are accentuated by the sense of invisibility online. We’re all guilty of a bit of online creeping at times. Be it to check out a potential love interest, or seeing what friends have been up to. The sense of invisibility enables us to do this. This leads to people doing things and visiting places online that they wouldn’t dream of in the real world.
 
The effects of invisibility in reducing inhibitions have long been known in Psychology. Indeed, psychoanalysts commonly use this technique so patients cannot see their body language and facial expressions.
 
By doing this, patients feel less inhibited and freer to say what they feel. With online text communication online, this sense of invisibility is enhanced. This enables internet trolls to separate their harsh words from the receiver’s response.
 
Perceived majority positioning
 
When people see themselves as holding the majority position, they are more likely to express their true opinion. Conversely, if they fear their opinion is in the minority, they may fear being ostracised. This phenomenon is known as the spiral of silence theory developed in the 1960s and 1970s by Elisabeth-Noelle Neuman. The theory seeks to describe how public opinion is formed and how certain behaviors are acceptable in public or in different spaces.
 
This theory also explains why people may act differently on the internet to in public. For example, whilst in the office, they may not make sexist or racist comments due to the fear of social isolation as a result.
 
However, online they may feel these views are widespread and in the majority, making them more likely to express them. Combined with a sense of anonymity and invisibility, the perceived majority status can entrench the online disinhibition effect.
 
Personality traits
 
Clearly, the functionality of the internet explains why some people behave in a disrespectful way online. However, personality traits are also likely to be a key component. Indeed, one study entitled ‘Trolls just want to have fun’ found that online trolls are more likely to be horrible people in real life.
 
Specifically, they wanted to see whether trolls were linked with the darkest personality traits of narcissism, Machiavellianism, psychopathy, and sadism. They carried out a survey of 1,200 people. This survey found that people ranking trolling as their top pastime on the internet were more likely to score highly for dark personality traits. In particular, trolls were linked with traits associated with sadism in the real world.
 
Unfortunately, sadistic tendencies can actually be pretty common. Combined with the online disinhibition effect, the right personality traits can turn people into unparalleled online jerks.
 
A spiral of negativity
 
Although some studies show that the online disinhibition effect is linked to sadism others have shown that anyone can be a jerk online. For example, a study for Stanford and Cornell Universities found that trolling may be influenced by situational factors at least as much as the innate traits of people. This study found that the person’s mood and the tone of comments already on posts can lead to a spiral of negativity that causes trolling.
 
They tested this by giving a sample of 667 people an easy or difficult test. Participants were then asked to read the same article and comment underneath. However, underneath the article, people saw either neutral comments or troll-like comments. The study found that 68% of those given the harder test alongside the article with comments by trolls wrote troll-like comments themselves. Even for the easy test plus inoffensive comments group, this figure still stood at 35%.
 
So do some people become jerks online because of the internet or because they are jerks in real life? Well, the online disinhibition effect explains that psychological factors, personality traits, and the functionality of the internet are all to blame for this type of behavior.
 
 

Lottie Miles

 






 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 03:00
Domingo, 26 / 01 / 20

10 Things Your Introverted Friend Wants You to Know about Them

Becky Storey.

https://www.learning-mind.com/

January 26, 2020

 
 
 
Introverts and extroverts can seem like different species at times. Each has their own needs, and sometimes, when you’re so strongly one way, it can be difficult to understand the other. As an extrovert, an introverted friend of yours might seem strange.
 
You could be as different as night and day, but if you love that introvert, then you’re probably desperate to find ways to understand them.
 
Truths to Help You Understand Your Introverted Friend
 
1. They Don’t Want You to Invite Extra People
 
Big group interactions are hard, big groups with unexpected people are even harder. When you make plans with an introverted friend, they’re looking forward to it being exactly the way they expect it to be. Blindsiding them with new faces could be extra draining and a little intimidating.
 
If the extra people are strangers or just acquaintances, then you might send your introvert running. Save them the discomfort and worry and don’t surprise them with extra people. Remember, introversion isn’t about social anxiety, it’s about energy. More people mean more lost energy.
 
2. They Don’t Want You to Show Up Unannounced
 
Our homes are our safe havens. This is even more true for an introvert. In our homes, we rest and recuperate in our own private ways. Your introverted friend needs time to themselves, and they probably feel safe inside their houses, knowing they can heal on their own time.
 
If you show up unannounced, you could be interrupting essential healing time. Without this time, you might be hindering their ability to recover. Introversion is all about energy. Introverts lose their energy quickly in social situations, even if you think they’re low-intensity events. Your introverted friends need to be alone to rebuild their strength.
 
Introverts may also be more uneasy about confrontation and therefore won’t want to ask you to leave. You could be causing them to feel overwhelmed and unable to be honest about their needs.
 
3. They Don’t Want You to Arrange Surprises
 
On that subject, don’t surprise them at all. Your introverted friend probably doesn’t want a surprise party on their birthday, a surprise visit from a friend or a surprise extra guest at dinner. They want to go into things with an idea of what to expect. Without that security, you might knock them off balance and ruin the experience altogether.
 
Save yourself the trouble and plan ahead and let them in the loop.
 
4. They Don’t Want You to Pressure Them for “Excitement”
 
Big days out, busy parties and large groups can be daunting. They can be incredibly draining on your introverted friend’s energy. That’s not to say they’ll never want any of those things, but if they say no, you should take their word for it.
 
Your introverted friend trusts you to never pressure them outside of their limits. Without those safe boundaries, you might lose your friend. Respect their wishes and believe them when they say they aren’t up to something.
 
5. They Don’t Want You to Call
 
Many introverts, and even shyer extroverts, hate phone calls. The pressure to think on the spot and fill silences can be terrifying. The inability to see the reactions and emotions of the person at the other end can make people incredibly uneasy.
 
Unless you’re certain that your introverted friend is happy with phone calls, try to avoid calling out of the blue. If you have to call, send a message first. If you don’t have to call, don’t do it at all.
 
6. They Don’t Want Constant Contact
 
For some introverts, social media and texting is a godsend. The perfect way to keep in touch from a long distance. However, some might need time away from that too. The constant connection might be an energy drain too.
 
If your introverted friend needs to go MIA for a while, let them. They’ll come back when they feel refreshed. Pestering them for contact and attention might cause them to need more time alone.
 
7. You Shouldn’t Take It Personally
 
Any introvert will tell you that alone time is essential. They crave silence and rest. It’s understandable that you might take this personally when it’s your introverted friend that’s closing down. Always remember that their isolating behavior isn’t a sign that they don’t like you. Their behavior isn’t a reflection on how they feel about you.
 
Don’t judge them as rude or cold when they don’t want to hang out. Your introverted friends just need time for themselves. If you put your emotions into the situation, you might risk pushing them away. Understand that they have needs that might not match up with your own, and that doesn’t have to affect your friendship.
 
8. You Should Encourage Them to Talk
 
You definitely shouldn’t put your introverted friends on the spot and force them to talk, but you should leave doors open for them. Introverts struggle to talk in crowds, due to nerves and typically being quieter than most.
 
In intimate settings, you could ask them questions you know they’ll want to answer. You could also leave conversation openings to them, so they can pitch in with a story when they would usually stay silent. Introverts tend to be more thoughtful than others, so there’s no telling what hidden depths you might be missing by not helping them speak.
 
9. Let Them Make the Plans
 
Usually, introverts don’t feel comfortable with spontaneity. They don’t like not knowing the plans and they don’t like leaving the plans in the hands of other people. Most of the time, if you exclude the introverts from your planning stage, or don’t have one at all, you’ll be faced with a hundred questions and a lot of negotiations. And even then, they still might be too unsure to attend.
 
Save yourself the hassle and let your introverted friends be part of the planning. If they know what to expect and what they’re comfortable with it, they’re more likely to show up.
 
10. Give Them Down-Time
 
Introverts don’t tend to crave being busy, especially if that means socializing. They don’t need to fill their time with company or excitement. It might seem strange to an extrovert, but your introverted friend is probably completely fine doing nothing for days.
 
If you want to spend time together, suggest low-intensity hangouts for you to share. Let them dictate the schedule too, sometimes they’re going to want to leave early. That doesn’t mean you have to too, they probably don’t want company anyway, but they’d appreciate your understanding.
 
If you let them enjoy time away from the spotlight and the noise, you’ll be more likely to have a happier, more engaged friend.
 
Introverts and extroverts might make a strange pairing, but that doesn’t mean they can’t form long-lasting and meaningful friendships. Introverts keep their thoughts and lives private until someone gains their trust. When you show that you understand them, you could be welcomed into their secret world of untold depths. Introverts can be very loyal and once you’ve been let in, you’ll never be out.
 
Becky Storey
 

 




 

About the Author: Becky Storey


 
Becky Storey is a professional writer who has been passionate about the way we think and the human mind since she developed chronic anxiety many years ago. Now she loves to write and educate people on mental health and wellbeing. When Becky is not writing, you’ll find her outside with her Labrador, sitting behind a jigsaw puzzle, or baking something with too much sugar.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

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publicado por achama às 19:10
Domingo, 26 / 01 / 20

Spectacular Super Snow Moon Phenomenon Not to Miss This February

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 25th, 2020.

 
 

 
The celestial beauty of the heavens wouldn’t be complete without the allure of the Super snow moon in February. You don’t want to miss it!
 
Ever since I was a small child, I would gaze into the heavens in amazement. I would reach up and try to grasp the stars in my hand. Also, I would trace the moon with my finger and yes, I did imagine the craters as little indentions on cheese.
 
 
My imagination was fueled by the beauty of the skies. I even heard the story of the man in the moon. If I looked close enough, I could make out his features. But it would be years before I learned the names of the moons according to the months, including the supermoon coming as 2020’s February full moon.
 
What Is the Super Snow Moon?
 
On February 9, 2020, our full moon will rise and be known by many people as the super snow moon. It will be bright, and illuminate deep snowfall in some areas of the world, hence the name.
 
It will also be at its perigee, meaning it will be larger than usual, this is where the “super” part of the title applies. To me, this special full moon will add warm feelings to this darkened cold and sometimes heavy time of the year.
 
There’s another fascinating fact about the special February moon, as well. Every 19 years, it doesn’t exist. That’s right, after almost two decades of February full moons, both January and March have two full moons and February is void of this magic. It sounds kind of sad, but also extremely interesting. So, every now and then, we won’t see the super snow moon, so we should enjoy its beauty when we can.
 
But on the other hand, we witness a phenomenon called the dark moon, which is just as exciting as it is ominous. The wonders of the world never cease to amaze me.
 
Here’s a secret – not everyone calls the February full moon the super snow moon. No, not at all. This moon has many names, deriving from many areas around the world.
 
For instance, the English call this full moon, the “Wolf Moon”. From long ago both in Medieval England and among Pagans, this moon was called “the storm moon”. So, although the February full moon names have similarities, they are different from region to region. In the U.S., there are numerous names for this supermoon phenomenon.
 
Native American Origins
 
So, I guess you’re wondering why the February 9th full moon is called the super snow moon, aren’t you? Well, that is because according to weather reports and the farmer’s almanac, February receives the most snowfall in the United States. Now you can see the obvious correlation.
 
However, the native Americans had many names for this deep winter moon. These names varied according to the different tribes in the U.S.
 
Many names for the February full moon:
 
1. Wishram of the Pacific Northwest
 
The native people of the Pacific Northwest called the February moon the “Shoulder to shoulder around the Fire moon” because they literally had to sit tightly side by side around the fire to stay warm.
 
2. Cherokee of the Southeast
 
The Cherokee natives considered the full moon of February the “bone moon”. This name came about because of the scarcity of food during the deep winter. Usually, the majority of nutrition came from the marrow of bones or bone broth.
 
3. Lakota of the Southwest
 
The February supermoon was also called the “Moon when the trees crack because of the cold”. Wow! Can you imagine the deep cold that inspires such a name?
 
4. Arapaho in the Mid-West
 
Natives of this area called the February full moon, “Frost sparkling in the sun” because even though February is one of the coldest months in the U.S., the snow which covers many areas seems tosparkle under the moonlight as if it was light from the sun. When observed, this kind of beauty couldn’t possibly be easily forgotten.
 
There are many other notable Native American full moon names such as the “Coyote moon”originating from the Shoshone people’s story about fox and coyote both wanting to be the moon. It’s an interesting and fanciful story. Then there is the Cree who considered the February moon, “the old moon”.
 
The list goes on and on, with most names either representing the frigid cold or the lack of food for the native people. One of the most memorable ones is “the hunger moon” because it represents the simple fact that February was a month when everyone, even though they were starving, remained strong with whatever resources they had available.
 
But, I will say that the super snow moon remains a favorite, simply because it invokes a feeling of power. Now, that’s a much better way to look at this beautiful phenomenon.
 
So, when can you see the February super snow moon?
 
 
As with all the other magnificent full moons each month, the February moon shouldn’t be missed either. The moon will be at its fullest on Sunday, February 9, 2020, at 2:34 a.m. EST.
 
If you live in the U.S., this time or any hour close to this time may be a little late or too early for some. The alternative would be to view the fullest part of the full moon as late as you can on Saturday night.
 
Use these opportunities to get great images of the super snow moon. In fact, each month, don’t miss a capture of the full moon, compare them and notice changes in position, coloration, size, and beauty.
 
It’s been a while since I lay in the grass and stared up into the heavens, but I think I might wrap uptight and lay under the super snow moon for a while, careful not to fall asleep and freeze. After all, I’ve also heard this moon represents changes as well. We’ll see!
 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:
 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 18:59
Sábado, 25 / 01 / 20

7 Micromanagement Examples in Family, Friend Circles, and the Workplace

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 24th, 2020.

 
 


 
There are so many micromanagement examples because there are so many ways this controlling behavior can be used.

Micromanaging is basically a form of control, although it can seem a bit more subtle in operation. For example, those who are guilty of micromanaging usually don’t even know they are doing this. They see their hovering or helping as just that, helping someone improve their life. They do this even when no one’s asked them to.

Why is micromanaging wrong?

This sort of behavior is wrong for several reasons. For one, you cannot control what others do. Although you may succeed in controlling behavior for a while, ultimately, people are going to do what they want.

Micromanaging doesn’t allow people to learn. Basically, it does things for them or takes away their ideas and exchanges them for what the controller thinks is a better option. Just like these people aren’t always aware of what they do, we aren’t always aware of the signs that someone we know does this either. There are ways to discover the behavior, however.

What are some micromanagement examples?

1. You would have done things differently

Here’s an example of micromanaging: No matter how someone completes a project, you see a different way that, to you, would have been better.

Not only do you see this in your mind and roll it over in your head, you tell them about it. You tell your coworker, friend, or partner, that there would have been a much better way of cleaning at work or planning a party with friends. It doesn’t matter, because you think you know what’s best.

2. You have to know everything about everything

Micromanaging also includes the nasty habit of being aware of absolutely everything.

For instance, if a mother is a micromanager when her child returns from school, she will want to know every single detail of the child’s day. From the time they got off the bus until the moment they arrived home, all this must be known because this urgency, which a micromanager usually has, can be softened.

3. Help has become control

There’s a big difference between being helpful and being controlling. If you want to help someone, whether at work or at home, that’s fine. You can offer solutions and ideas.

However, if you force someone to do things your way right from the start, you are simply being controlling. There’s no pretty way to say it. For couples, controlling behavior that comes from micromanaging can become extremely fierce.

4. You’re making huge decisions for others

There are some things that even children need to decide for themselves. One example is when a teen is nearing graduation, and they have to pick a college they wish to attend. If you micromanage, you will push your teenager toward the college that YOU prefer, not the college that pricks their interests.

Micromanaging in this area can affect the entire course of your child’s life and their dreams. Think about it. What if your child wishes to play a certain sport, and the college you push them to join doesn’t allow them to major in that sport. You could scar your child and make them think much differently about you.

5. Removing motivation when mistakes are made

One of the typical examples of micromanagement is when motivation or morale is removed due to a simple mistake. This happens so often in the workplace, for example, when someone makes a small mistake that can easily be fixed.

A supervisor who micromanages will punish the employee for the small mistake, and not even show them why the mistake was made. This kills morale, and honestly, it can cause more mistakes to be made as well. This is one of the reasons that so many people are fired from their jobs. It can be avoided by eliminating micromanaging.

6. Mothers are too protective

Did you know that if you are too protective of your child, even as a toddler, you can sow seeds of dependence on others? That’s right. Micromanaging your child, for instance, on playdates with other children, will teach the child that you will always step in to save them. It will remove responsibility as well.

Hey, trust me, I know grown men who’ve been protected in this manner and cannot take the blame for anything. Mothers, in order to not be a micromanagement example, you have to let children work through their difficulties just a bit before you and the other parents step in to help and sort things out.

7. You’re making someone feel inferior

This example can be used with work relationships, family situations, and even couples. Micromanaging in a way that you are putting yourself on a pedestal not only looks stupid, but it also makes people feel inferior. It trains them to just go along with whatever you say because they are used to doing so.

So when they do have great ideas, you will be the last one to know about, and the last one to celebrate when ideas create something great worthy of a reward.

In reality, it is just control

Just face it, you want to control everything so everything cannot control you. It’s fear at its worst. At least that’s one reason why you, the micromanager, do this. So, you know that it must stop in order to live a normal life.

If this is not you, and you’re dealing with this, always remember your worth, and keep fighting to be heard. Try to show micromanagers what they’re actually doing to you and to themselves, and maybe they will be willing to get better.

I sure do hope so.


 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:
 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
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Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com
 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 02:00
Quinta-feira, 16 / 01 / 20

7 Signs You Are an Overly Critical Person and How to Stop Being One

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 16th, 2020.

 
 

 
 
You may think that you aren’t an overly critical person until you read about it. If you are, you can learn how to stop.
 
I am an overly critical person. There, I went ahead and admitted a fact about myself. To be honest, in the last few months, I’ve realized quite a bit of unhealthy aspects of my personality. But instead of letting it drag me down, I choose to work on this issue and get better. Are you overly critical?
 
What is an overly critical person?
 
You won’t recognize that you’re criticizing and judging people until it’s been done to you, or until you start reading about the signs. You may think the way you operate is normal, and your intentions are to help others be better people.
 
But remember, every human is an individual, and criticism doesn’t change them, it shouldn’t. If anything is to be changed, it should be done by the one who wants to change. Do you see my point? Well, in case you don’t understand, read on…
 
Signs of criticizing way too much:
 
1. A negative upbringing
 
Unfortunately, so many of us were surrounded by negative people when we were children. Our mothers, our fathers, even extended family members constantly talked about other people, and judged individuals on one trait, or what they wear.
 
If you grew up listening to all this negativity, you may still think it’s normal to criticize people and judge them. Yes, this trait of being overly critical can be deep indeed.
 
2. Labeled a negative person
 
If the people who are close to you are saying that you’re negative all the time, then it might be time to evaluate yourself.
 
No, you don’t have to take everything a person says to heart, but when family and friends repeatedly tell you to stop being so judgemental, then you probably need to change that fact and try to be more positive. If you’re used to being negative, this will be hard to do, but it will be so worth it when results show.
 
3, Micromanaging is second nature
 
If someone in your household is repairing a window or cooking a meal, it will be almost impossible for you to let them do it without your help – moreover, it does not really help, it’s the fact that you will tell them all the ways they’re doing it wrong. You may even take hold of the tools or utensils and do a bit of the work to show them.
 
This is a glaring indication that you are much too critical of others and what they do.
 
4. You have a mental disorder
 
I hate mentioning this one again because it seems to be a growing issue. However, if you have a mental disorder, you may also have a problem with criticizing people. Paranoia will make youconstantly ask questions about how someone is completing a task. Anxiety will make you criticize almost everything, honestly.
 
I do this. If I don’t have consistency, then something is wrong. If someone looks shady, then I will say they’re shady. Yes, I am embarrassed to admit it, but mental illness can cause us to become extremely judgmental while we wish others weren’t so judgemental of us. So, when we fight the stigma, remember, let’s fight the judgment in ourselves as well.
 
5. Nothing is completely enjoyable
 
Do you know those people who go out and have a good time and come home smiling? Yeah, I’m not one of them. I want to be, and I want it so badly I could scream. You will recognize the overly critical person by the fact that they find something wrong with everything.
 
You could simply be going to see a movie, and they will complain about some trivial little things like too many previews. Ordinary people enjoy the movie and go home happy. No matter how fun the day is, the critical people will find the fault – we will find the crack in perfection.
 
6. You’re always moody
 
An overly critical person will always be moody, whether they have depression or not. That’s because not everyone else is doing things as you would do them.
 
For instance, a critical person can get angry because someone forgets to open the door for them. This could have been a one-time incident, but they will label it as being inconsiderate. There are so many things that moody people notice and it makes them even darker.
 
7. You complain all the time
 
A critical person will complain so much that they prepare themselves for the bad day they will have, no kidding. I got in the habit for a while of waking up and immediately wondering how someone was going to make me mad at some point during the day. I should have been thankful and thinking about all the time I had to get good things done.
 
Then when people come around, and something isn’t right, like you expected, you complain. You complain if you get too much attention, you complain if you aren’t, you complain if it rains, you complain if it stays dry and hot. No matter how wonderful the day is, a constant critical person will make it tarnished.
How do we stop this?
 
So, since I do this too, we gotta learn to stop together, right? I’ve been reading up on some material that’s starting to help me with this problem. If that critical thinking is deep-rooted in childhood, then when you start thinking that way, remember where it comes from and say a resounding “NO!”
 
What this does is it reminds you that you are not your ancestors, and you can see the world in a different way.
 
If you suffer from a mental disorder, then working with your therapist and telling them ALL the truth about your day will help them find ways to turn your thought process around. It’s all about your mindset.
 
I’ve learned that. You see, you’ve set your mind to bad, and gradually, with small steps, you can set it to good. Instead of saying, “Oh god, I wonder what crap I will have to put up with the day.”, say,“Oh, I am so excited to start this new day!”
 
For the complainers, practice finding at least one good thing about the person you’re criticizing. For the ones who criticize even their fun times, try to only have fun and ignore those pestering thoughts telling you that the drive was too long, or the bathrooms were too dirty.
 
It’s all about practice, you see. It’s bettering yourself a little bit every day. If you fail, just try again. Don’t let others’ negative remarks spark your negativity. Return a negative comment with a nice one. It will startle them and they will get confused. I’ve been doing this lately.

 

 

Sherrie Hurd

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us. 

 

 

 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
Archives:
 

 
 

A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
brighteon.com
 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


 

 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
Free counters!

  geoglobe1
 
 
publicado por achama às 18:45
Terça-feira, 14 / 01 / 20

4 Signs of a Micromanaging Boss and What to Do If You Have One

Lottie Miles.

learning-mind.com

Posted January 11th, 2020.

 
micromanaging boss.

 
 
 

 
The day to day grind of working in an office can lead one to think that their experience is the norm. However, having a manager that monitors everything and a lack of freedom at work can harm both your performance and well-being. In this post, we explore the 4 signs that you have a micromanaging boss and what you can do to deal with them.
 
What does it mean to micromanage?
 
The practice of micromanagement isn’t restricted to the workplace. However, this is where micromanagers are often found.
 
Micromanagement refers to exerting excessive control over a person or a situation. This can occur within a social context, at work, or even in relationships. An obsession over the minute detail over what someone is doing, rather than looking at the bigger picture is a key characteristic of someone who micromanages.
 
Sometimes, micromanagement can take on a bullying persona where one person attempts to completely control and influence the actions and behavior of another. If this sounds all too familiar, then it may be that your boss is micromanaging you.
 
In the next section, we look at some of the familiar traits of a micromanager in the workplace.
 
4 signs that your boss is micromanaging you
 
1. Your freedom is restricted
 
Do you feel like your boss is constantly looking over your shoulder? Or that you have to run everything (even small things) by them first? Feeling a lack of freedom in your job is a sure sign that you have a micromanaging boss.
 
Good managers trust their staff, as they recognize that they are qualified for the role they are undertaking. A boss that is partial to micromanagement does not feel this trust and doesn’t allow their employees to make decisions for themselves.
 
Autonomy at work is an important means of keeping you interested in your job as it gives you room to be creative. Feeling trusted to make decisions is also essential in a work environment to ensure you feel valued and empowered.
 
2. Your boss is reluctant to give you training
 
Another indication that you have a micromanaging boss is if they’re reluctant for you to undertake any training or development opportunities. This comes from the fear that through upskilling their staff, they will decrease their own value and importance. This aspect of being micromanaged can feel particularly restrictive as it makes it difficult to progress in your career.
 
So, if you’ve noticed your manager won’t share their knowledge with you or brushes over training opportunities, it is likely they are guilty of micromanaging.
 
3. They can’t see the big picture
 
Part of being a good manager comes from being able to see the bigger picture and trusting that their employees have their individual tasks in hand.
 
A micromanager, however, is unable to do this. They are obsessed with the minute detail within projects. This means that instead of being free to just ‘get on with it’ you’re constantly forced to update your boss on what you’re doing.
 
This could be in the form of regular reports, constant team meetings to feedback on progress, or a persistent email thread that feels incredibly unproductive. It can feel like you spend most of your time updating your boss on what you’re doing rather than actually doing the work itself.
 
If this sounds like your experience, then it’s likely your boss is micromanaging the work you do.
 
4. They don’t like to delegate
 
Another trait of a micromanaging boss is that they don’t like to delegate. All of the points above ring true of a person who lacks faith in others, and this aspect of micromanagement is no different.
 
A micromanaging manager will often refuse to pass on important tasks to their team as they feel they are the only ones qualified to undertake them. This can lead to an overwhelming workload for them, and a feeling of discontent amongst other team members.
 
Difficulties in delegating can also lead to unnecessary delays and projects that feel like they are never-ending.
 
How to deal with a micromanaging boss?
 
Unsurprisingly, showing a lack of faith in the team, a refusal to help team members develop, and the refusal to delegate leads to an unsatisfactory work life for those under the leadership of a micromanager. However, it doesn’t have to be like this. Here are some tips on how to deal with your micromanaging boss.
 
1. Be honest
 
It can seem daunting to criticize the behavior of your manager. However, it may be that they don’t realize the impact that their micromanaging is having.
 
Next time you have a one-to-one scheduled, prepare what you want to say to your manager and write down some examples of when their micromanaging has gone too far. Highlight how their managing style is impacting on your ability to do your job and your well-being at work. An open and honest conversation can feel scary beforehand, but the benefits are likely to be well worth it.
 
2. Be one step ahead of them
 
If you’ve been working under a micromanager for a while, you can no doubt anticipate when and what they are planning to ask you. By anticipating this beforehand you can provide the answers to their questions before they have the chance to breathe over your shoulder.
 
This could be in the form of an email at the start or end of the week to update them on any progress. In showing them that you’re fully on top of things, it may give them the confidence to give you the space you need.
Final Words
 
Handling a micromanaging boss can feel like a job in itself. It can mean that you feel incredibly restricted in your work and affect your happiness in your job.
 
Opening up to your manager that their managing style is not working for you can feel like a huge hurdle to jump over. However, it can lead to a much-needed discussion around how you can best work together to make the work environment a happy and productive place.
 
References:

  1. https://www.rd.com
  2. https://www.forbes.com

 

 

Lottie Miles

 






 
About the Author: Lottie Miles


 
Lottie Miles is a professional researcher and writer with a passion for human rights. She has 4 years of experience working within the NGO sector and has a Masters Degree in Social Policy. She has a keen interest in exploring ways in which happiness habits can help to improve mental health and wellbeing. In her spare time, she likes doing crossword puzzles, painting and traveling.
 
Copyright © 2012-2019 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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publicado por achama às 20:58
Terça-feira, 07 / 01 / 20

I Had an Emotionally Unavailable Mother and Here’s What It Felt Like

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

January 7th, 2020.

 
EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE MOTHER.
 

 
 
Want to know what it feels like to be raised by an emotionally unavailable mother? Let me tell you my story.
 
Whenever someone asks me about my mother, I say ‘She died when I was young’. When they reply that they are so sorry, I always say ‘It doesn’t matter, she was an evil cow and I didn’t love her anyway. Most people are shocked.
 
Are you? If you are – why? You didn’t know her. You didn’t know what she was like. What it was like growing up with her. And before you say ‘Well yes that’s all very well, but she was your mother’, so what? Tell me what law or unwritten rule stipulates that I have to love my mother? There is none.
 
You might think it is disrespectful to talk the way I do. But those among you who have experienced an emotionally unavailable mother will understand my point of view. And believe me when I tell you that I tried my very hardest to love her.
 
What Is an Emotionally Unavailable Mother?
 
‘Emotionally unavailable mother’ to me is just a fancy psychological way of saying cold-hearted and unfeeling. But what is the difference between a mother who struggles sometimes to show her love and one that is emotionally unavailable? I can only tell you my story and it may appear cold and matter-of-fact.
 
But what if your mother never cuddled you or told you she loved you? Or actually even spoke to you that much? What if your mother used you as a means to earn money and her own personal housekeeper? How would you feel if she was abusive to your siblings and cold towards you? Perhaps then you might understand a little of how I feel.
 
So let me tell you a few stories about dear old mum. Maybe you’ll get where I’m coming from. Or perhaps you’ll think I’m being a total snowflake and I should just get over myself and stop blaming her for everything.
 
What It Feels Like to Have an Emotionally Unavailable Mother
 
No loving touch
 
I remember being very little, probably around 4 or 5 and craving my mother’s touch. She never touched me ever. Not a hug, a cuddle, nothing.
 
But she did do one thing and that was to come into my and my sisters’ bedrooms after a night out drinking and check we were all in bed. If our bedsheets were tangled, she would straighten them out.
 
This was an opportunity for me to receive a touch from my mother as sometimes if my arm was hanging out of the bed, she would put it back under the sheets. Imagine being this starved of a mother’s touch that you engineer a scenario where she might come into contact with you? And at that young age?
 
No response
 
Again, when I was young, I could write so I guess I was around the age of 5-6, I would leave little notes to my mother. The notes would say things like ‘I love you so much mum’ and ‘You are the best mum in the world’.
 
I would leave these love notes to my mother on her pillow on her bed so she would see them before she went to sleep. She never mentioned them. I would excitably go to bed and look under my pillow to see what she had left for me. After a few weeks, I stopped writing them.
 
Ignored wishes
 
I passed my 12+ which meant I could go to a local grammar school. There were two choices; an all-girls one which had a very posh reputation (not me at all, we lived on a council estate) or a local mixed grammar where all my friends were going.
 
Mother decided I was to attend the all-girls school. Despite my protests, she told me ‘It would look better on my CV later’ when I applied for jobs. Ironically, I wasn’t allowed to carry on and study for A-Levels. I had to work at the factory job she had found for me when I was 16 to help pay the household bills.
 
Can’t confide with your mother
 
I had a very bad time at grammar school. I didn’t know anyone. There were cliques of girls who had known one another from middle school and were quite happy to stay in their own little groups.
 
It got so bad that I ran away twice and went home. Each time my mother took me back to the school, no questions asked. The school did try to help but as far as mother was concerned I was to ‘get on with it’. I contemplated ending it all but got through it.
 
Some years later, mother and I were arguing and she had said she’d always done her best for me. I shouted back that because she’d sent me to that school I’d tried to top myself. I ran upstairs to my bedroom. She followed and for the first time in my life, she put her arm around me. It felt so odd and strange I felt physically sick and had to move away.
 
The Impact of Having a Mother Who Was Emotionally Unavailable
 
So that’s a little of my pity party story. There’s much more but a lot involves other people and that is their story to tell. So how am I affected and what do I do about it?
 
Well, I never wanted children. I don’t have a maternal bone in me. I am shown pictures of babies and I don’t get it. I don’t feel this flush of warmth or emotion. But show me a puppy or an animal in pain or distress and I am weeping like a baby. I think I feel emotionally attached to animals more because they have no voice. They can’t tell you what is wrong. I felt the same way during childhood.
 
I have a cold heart. I always say I have a heart of stone. Nothing touches it. I’ve formed this hard barrier around it so nothing will crack it. This is a survival technique I learned as a child. Don’t let anyone in and you won’t be hurt.
 
A late boyfriend of mine used to say to me ‘You are a hard nut to crack’ and I never knew what he meant but now I do. He also said that I was either clingy of hostile. This is also true. You are either everything to me or you are nothing.
 
As a child, I had an avoidant attachment style. I had spent a long time trying to get my mother’s attention. Having failed I shut down and become ambivalent about her. As an adult, this has transformed into a dismissive-avoidant style where I keep myself to myself. I avoid contact with others and keep emotions at arm’s length.
 
Despite the former tirade, I don’t blame my mother for anything.
 
In fact, I am thankful she had me. It was the 60s, she was out of wedlock and she could easily have not have done so.
 
I remind myself that I am not my mother. I understand the weaknesses of my upbringing and that allows me to cope with life as an adult.
 
Then, I have a tendency to shut myself away from people and have to try hard to socialise. The saying ‘better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all’ doesn’t apply to me. If there is a chance of losing love I won’t love in the first place.
 
I know why I have to be the centre of attention when I am in company. It is because I craved it as a child and never got it. Likewise, I like to shock people and see their reaction. This goes directly back to my mother. I would intentionally shock her when I was a teen. Just to try and get something out of her.
 
Final Thoughts
 
I think that we need to remember that emotional neglect from an unavailable mother can be as damaging as abuse and physical neglect. However, understanding how any kind of neglect has affected you is key to moving forward.

 

 
Janey Davies

 





About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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publicado por achama às 17:23
Sábado, 28 / 12 / 19

20 Signs of a Narcissistic Perfectionist Who Is Poisoning Your Life

Janey Davies.

https://www.learning-mind.com

December 27th, 2019.

 
Narcissistic Perfectionist signs.
 
 
 
Psychological terms such as narcissism and perfectionist have been around for decades. We understand their character traits, even if we don’t possess them ourselves. But what happens when the two collide? Is there such a thing as a narcissistic perfectionist? And if so, what impact does it have on a person’s life?
 
Understanding the Narcissistic Perfectionist
 
It is easy to explain this kind of person. We simply break down the two components of their personality.
 
 
So, we know that narcissists, as well as putting themselves first, have the following character traits:
 
Narcissists:
  • A grandiose sense of self
  • A sense of entitlement
  • They think they are special and unique
 
On the other hand, perfectionists set themselves impossibly high standards.
 
Perfectionists:
  • Strive for flawless performance
  • They will work tirelessly, be extremely self-critical.
  • Some will have a tendency to procrastinate.
 
Now, it’s not quite as simple as putting these two character traits together. This is because the narcissist who is also a perfectionist projects their perfectionism onto other people, not themselves. This is the difference between a perfectionist and a person with narcissistic traits.
 
The narcissistic perfectionist sets these unrealistic goals and targets for other people. Furthermore, they get angry and hostile if they don’t reach these impossible goals.
 
Dr. Simon Sherry is a clinical psychologist and an associate professor. He works in the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience.
 
 
“Narcissistic perfectionists have a need for other people to satisfy their unreasonable expectations… And if you don’t, they get angry.” Dr. Simon Sherry
 
Studies into This Type of Personality
 
Studies included researching the biographies of famous CEOs with narcissistic perfectionism. Employees reported their bosses lashing out at them for very minor mistakes. They would be held in high-esteem one minute then go from ‘hero to zero’ the next.
 
 
In addition, employees would be routinely derogated in front of co-workers. The CEOs would be hyper-critical, to the point of outright hostility.
 
So why is this combination so lethal?
 
“But high expectations paired with feelings of grandiosity and entitlement to the perfect performance of others creates a much more negative combination.” Dr. Simon Sherry
 
So far we have talked about top CEOs, but what about in everyday life? What if the perfectionist narcissist is a member of your own family?
 
Logan Nealis is a Clinical Psychology Ph.D. student. He is working with the Personality Research Team.
 
 
“A narcissistic perfectionist parent demands perfect performance from his daughter on the hockey rink, but not necessarily from anyone else out there.” Logan Nealis
 
But it’s not just about demanding perfection from people around them. It is also about basking in the glow of success through the perfection achieved by those around them. The narcissist can say, through these perfect achievements, ‘Look how good I am!’
Typical Behaviors of a Narcissistic Perfectionist
 
So how can you spot someone with narcissistic perfectionist tendencies? According to recent studies, there are several major red flags:
 
“Our most consistent finding across the two studies is that narcissistic perfectionism is associated with social negativity in the form of anger, derogation, conflict and hostility,” explains Dr. Sherry.
 
This social negativity goes hand-in-hand with the narcissist’s sense of superiority. So they won’t just take the time to critically humiliate you. In fact, they’ll do all of that whilst maintaining this sense that they are better than you.
 
The narcissist who also believes in perfectionism will react in violent and hostile outbursts. These outbursts will be a complete over-reaction to the mistake in question. For example, imagine that you have made one very small spelling error on a document. The narcissist perfectionist boss would drag you out in front of your co-workers, shout and scream at you and sack you on the spot.
 
Also, don’t forget, any errors will never be the narcissist’s fault. It is inconceivable to them that they might be wrong or the mistake is theirs. This black and white thinking just adds to the problem.
 
“In the world view of a narcissistic perfectionist, the problem exists outside of themselves. It’s the co-worker, it’s the spouse, it’s the roommate.” Dr Sherry
 
20 Signs Someone You Know Is a Narcissistic Perfectionist
 
  1. Many of us work for bosses that demand perfection. But what’s the difference between someone who wants the best work from you, or the narcissist who just happens to be a perfectionist too? And what about family and friends? Do you recognise any of the following signs?
  2. They set impossible demands/targets/goals
  3. These goals are for everyone else, not themselves
  4. They react inappropriately when something does not go their way
  5. You are always walking on eggshells around them
  6. You never know how they are going to react
  7. They are hyper-critical in everything you do
  8. Everything you do is up for criticism
  9. The rules apply to you but not to them
  10. They can bend the rules, but you never can
  11. They get impatient with you
  12. They demand great things from you
  13. You can’t ever be yourself around them
  14. You’re afraid of them
  15. They’re unprofessional at work
  16. They expect too much from you
  17. You’re not allowed to offer ‘excuses’
  18. It’s never their fault
  19. They are always right
  20. They don’t want to hear explanations
  21. If you make a mistake, they get hostile and angry
 
You might recognise some of the above signs. They may apply to a boss, a partner, a friend or a family member. Dealing with the narcissistic perfectionist in your life depends on the circumstances. If it is your boss, there might not be much you can do apart from seeking alternative employment.
 
For personal relationships, however, Dr. Sherry believes that getting the person to understand the impact of their behaviour is the way forward. Typically, the narcissist will not seek treatment. They may do it only in the end stages when their marriage has failed, or they have lost a company for example.
 
Final Thoughts
 
It is extremely difficult to change the mindset of a narcissist, particularly one with perfectionist traits. Sometimes the only thing you can do is leave, for your own sanity.
  1. medicalxpress.com
  2. www.sciencedaily.com
  3. www.researchgate.net
 

 
Janey Davies

 





About the Author: Janey Davies.
Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

Archives:

 


 
A Trusty with Privacy Search 
Alternative to Google
startpage.com

Alternative to YouTube
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 




 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 06:17
A Luz está a revelar a Verdade, e esta libertar-nos-á! -Só é real o AMOR Incondicional. -Quando o Amor superar o amor pelo poder, o mundo conhecerá a Paz; Jimi Hendrix. -Somos almas a ter uma experiência humana!

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