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Segunda-feira, 15 / 07 / 19

Sisu: The Finnish Concept of Inner Strength and How to Adopt It ~ Jamie Logie

Sisu: The Finnish Concept of Inner Strength and How to Adopt It.

By Jamie Logie.

July 14, 2019. 

 
sisu finnish inner strength.

 

 

You have more strength in you than you even realize, but how do you bring it out?

Sisu is a Finnish concept based on grit, bravery, and resilience. Sisu is all about having a real stoic determinism and is something that the people of Finland pride themselves on. We may call it “having a stiff upper lip“, but it goes much deeper than that.
This article will look at what Sisu is all about, and how you can adopt it for yourself.

What Does Sisu Really Mean?

I mentioned some of its traits, but we can see Sisu as the ultimate form of courage. It’s about what you do when your back is up against the wall and all the odds are against you.

It’s all about sticking to a course of action and not backing down no matter what adversity you face. No matter the odds you may be up against, Sisu allows you to not be overcome by them.

We can see a popular culture example of this in Han Solo in The Empire Strikes Back. When faced with certain doom from an attack by the Empire, Han Solo – with his back against the wall – takes the Millenium Falcon into an asteroid field.

Something that’s considered a suicide mission. He is informed by C3-PO that the chances of successfully surviving an asteroid field are 3720:1, to which Solo responds, “Never tell me the odds…”.

This is an easy way of looking at Sisu as it’s all about displaying courage in the face of overwhelming adversity – and insurmountable odds. 

How Long Has This Concept Been Around?

Sisu goes back hundreds of years and is one of the foundations of Finnish culture. It’s thought to be one of the best ways to understand what the Fins are truly all about. The country has always prided themselves in going beyond one’s own mental or physical capacity, and Sisu is what represents their people.
Sisu has been explained as the word that describes Finland and that “it’s the most wonderful of all their words“. This became popularized during the famous “Winter War” when the Fins were invaded by the Soviet Union. This occurred during 1939-40 and it’s when Sisu came to the forefront.
Time Magazine noted that the “Sisu” displayed by the Fins was all about tenacity. It was about the ability to keep fighting long after others would quit.
The Fins were able to take the war into Russian territory while at the same time withstanding brutal attacks by a reinforced Russian army. This allowed them to gain the upper hand as the Fins could fight in harsh conditions with no sense of throwing in the towel.
Sisu is all about bravery, bravado, and ferocity.

More Examples of Sisu

Sisu applies well to matters of war and battles, but is it something notable in a modern, non-military aspect? Most people forget that one of the biggest phone companies – Nokia – is actually Finnish. As the wireless phone market grew more intense, Nokia could hang on despite many odds being stacked up against them.
Nokia was constantly able to overcome many obstacles going into the mid-2000s and the “guts” they had displayed allowed them to stick around in the industry.
This was chalked up to the Sisu shown by Nokia’s executives. The CEO of Nokia noted how this unique Finnish quality allowed them to persevere and have endurance where other companies would falter.
We can see Steve Jobs as possessing Sisu as he refused to ever throw in the towel. He had an intensity and endurance that others couldn’t match. For Jobs, it was all about being relentless and not giving in to create the best products possible. No was never an option.
Even being forced to leave the company that he started only made him embrace this white-knuckle courage to push forward and come back stronger than ever turning Apple into one of the biggest companies in history.

Where Does Sisu Come From and How Do You Adopt It?

With the Fins, it’s considered having developed because of their harsh Nordic winters. To survive in an environment like that takes the ultimate in perseverance and courage.
But it’s also seen as a product of genetics, biology, psychological, and social factors. Some of it may be in you, but it’s also able to be nurtured through your environment.
This may be a social construct, but the concept of Sisu can exist in anyone. Some people have this “never give up” mindset from the day they are born – but it’s still possible to develop it.

It all comes down to your thought process and mindset.

If you grow up in an environment that fosters this approach, it will be easier for it to become naturally engrained in you. It may be the culture that allows Sisu to exist in you more than it is genetics.
This means you want to surround yourself with people who have these traits as they are more likely to rub off on you.
If Sisu is something you don’t think you have – and you want to adopt it – it means getting out of your comfort zone and exposing yourself to people – and situations – where resilience is common. Over time, you will embrace the qualities that allow you to persevere and not back down.

It also means retraining the way you think.

Your brain is like a muscle and it needs repetition to get stronger and more developed. Positive thinking – where you tell yourself to be determined and resilient – will eventually become second nature.
You need to catch yourself every time you doubt or second-guess yourself and remember that it’s just your mind telling you these things. You can train your mind, the problem is it’s we have bombarded it with negative self-talk because of the environment and culture we find ourselves in – so it takes work.
When you continue to reinforce the idea of Sisu in your mind, you will find that the perception of it has now become a reality.
References:
  1. http://www.bbc.com/
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/
  3. https://www.sciencedaily.com/
 
About the Author: Jamie Logie

 Jamie Logie is a personal trainer, nutritionist, and health & wellness specialist. Jamie also studied sociology and psychology at Western University and has a counseling diploma from Heritage Baptist College. He has run a blog and top-rated podcast on iTunes called "Regained Wellness". Jamie is also a contributing writer for places like the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, LifeHack and has an Amazon #1 book called "Taking Back Your Health".




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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 
 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 19:41
Quinta-feira, 11 / 07 / 19

The Art of Divided Attention and How to Master It to Boost Your Productivity ~ Sherrie.

The Art of Divided Attention and How to Master It to Boost Your Productivity.

By Sherrie.

July 8th, 2019

 
 
 
Overcoming the fear of falling may not be an easy task, but we’re here to explore how we can accomplish this anyway.
There are multitudes of people who are afraid of falling. Some fear falling down after tripping over an object, while others have a fear of falling from great heights. Regardless, the fear is real and can sometimes hinder a healthy life.
I have a fear of hurtling toward the ground, falling to my death, and sometimes I dream about this too. Yes, it’s horrifying, but it shouldn’t rule my life.

What causes the fear of falling?

There isn’t one cause of falling fears. There are manypsychological and physical influences with this phobia. While one person may feel like avoiding extreme sports, like mountain climbing, another may just be afraid to take a simple walk for health reasons.

So, let’s explore what makes us so afraid, and let’s find a way to work on overcoming some of these causes of fear.

1. Fear of falling in infancy

At birth and until around the age of 9 months, infants fear mostly nothing. However, at the age of around 9, after using certain toys like baby go-carts and other similar toys, infants suddenly became aware of heights.
In an experiment conducted by scientists from the University of New York and Rutgers University, it was discovered that infants that couldn’t even crawl were reluctant to cross a glass covered ledge (perfectly safe). The infants were afraid but started to try and find other means of getting off the imaginary ledge. Studies also show different temperaments among infants.
This means, as humans, we are taught to fear from visual information out of the environment. Otherwise, it’s innate.
This may help:
The only real help you can give your child is education as they grow older. Yes, it’s important to teach about safety, but it is just as important to teach about bravery as well. It’s about good judgment, logic and safe environments.

2. Previously fallen

One of the simplest reasons for the fear of falling is the remembrance of a previous fall. If you’ve fallen quite a bit throughout life, you may have developed a fear of hurtling to the ground and falling into dangerous terrains, such as rocks or steep declines.
I have been acquainted with a few people who’ve twisted their ankle, and afterward, seem to have this mishap as a common occurrence. Hence they are always over-cautious. On the negative side, being overcautious can sometimes cause a fall, and so, it can work both ways.
This may help:
For those who’ve fallen in the past or fallen many times, courage is the only real way to release yourself from the fear and falling. Yes, it is possible that you will fall again, but it is also possible that you can run a marathon and never stumble once. Keeping active and keeping your muscles strong will help you develop a new history of less falls, and thus give you the confidence to fear not.

3. Awareness of elderly age

Our elders are wise and beautiful people, but unfortunately, their bodies have aged as their wisdom has grown. Many older adults acquire a fear of falling due to things they understandabout osteoporosis or vision weakness, such as cataracts.
We all face some of these issues as we grow older, and it terrifies us of falling down. This fear, to the elderly, can mean easier breaks when falling down, such as with hip fractures. It also means slower recovery time as well.
This may help:
Make sure all checkups are up to date. This includes checking your vision and bone density. You must also commit to some sort of physical activity to keep your muscles strong, which help protect your bones. Research all the ways you can retain your health as long as possible and decrease your chances of falls.

4. Motion and space discomfort

Another reason we may have a fear of falling is due to motion and space discomfort, which is related to vertigo. However, motion and space discomfort can be attributed to anxiety that’s already present. Surroundings, such as large crowds moving around can cause panic and a feeling of unstable ground. Even a focused object can cause spacial discomfort.
This may help:
Although you can try to be strong on your own and overcome this discomfort, you may need professional help. I have anxiety and take certain medications to help me get through the day. Seeing a therapist can help you talk through the things you’re experiencing and recognize where they’re coming from.

5. Unable to control posture

If you’ve become brave enough to climb heights, then the fear of falling can develop at some point. While some of the climbs may be okay, if your posture becomes unstable, your fear may kick in. Once the posture does change, panic may make you unable to steady your footing, thus causing a sudden fear of heights and of falling.
This may help:
Partaking in activities while on solid ground can help you strengthen your muscles and also improve balance. This decreases the chances of imbalance and posture issues. When climbing to great heights, it may be easier for you.

6. PTSD

Post-traumatic stress disorder can also trigger a fear of falling. It’s not so much a fall from the past, as it’s the simple loss of control during your traumatic encounter.
The loss of control also takes control of your sense of safety, especially with things like crowds, strangers, and even the fear associated with falling. You can sometimes feel the lightness under your feet when you feel you’re beginning to lose control.
This may help:
If you think you may be suffering from PTSD, you should seek professional help right away. Not only can PTSD cause fear of heights, but can also cause many negative results. While some friends and family members may be able to help, therapy may be the best way to help process your past traumas.

7. Fear of heights

Obviously, the fear of heights causes fear of falling. I have a fear of heights and when I climb to high places, my entire body starts to tingle. I lose balance because my mind is telling me that I am going to fall. It seems my logic fails me completely.
This may help:
A fear of heights can be alleviated a bit by getting used to higher places. It is usually a slower process where you endure a bit of height a little at a time. As you experience a higher altitude and let reasoning take place, you realize you will not necessarily fall just because you are at a higher place. You can go higher each time you practice this.

8. Dreams of falling

If you dream of falling, sometimes it affects nothing at all. At other times, it can create a horrible fear of losing balance and falling to the earth. Of course, most people never really reach the earth before waking. While falling in a dream may seem harmless, it can create a fear of falling during waking life.
This may help:
Remember, it’s only a dream and no indication that you will fall in life. Althgouh it may be scary, it’s usually a symbol of something else altogether. The meaning of falling dreams is a topic for another post altogether, and you can read about it in this article.

Conquering the fear of falling

Yes, you can conquer your fear, and falling will not be something you’re afraid of, well for the most part. There are many things in my own life that I am afraid of, and I am trying to overcome them a little at a time, and this is how you have to start. Just take one step at a time, and before you know it, you will be doing things you’ve never dreamed.
References:
  1. https://www.livescience.com
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 
 

 
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


More @ http://violetflame.biz.ly and 
https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/




 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 


 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 00:40
Sábado, 29 / 06 / 19

The Bandwagon Effect: How It Affects Your Decisions without You Knowing

The Bandwagon Effect: How It Affects Your Decisions without You Knowing.

By Janey Davies.

June 28th, 2019.

 
 

 



 

We all like to think we are completely unbiased when we make decisions, but, actually, there are a number of things that influence us. One of them is the Bandwagon Effect.

What is the Bandwagon Effect?

The Bandwagon Effect is a psychological cognitive bias in which people do, say or believe something, despite their own beliefs because they see others doing it. Therefore, it must be right.

Where did it originate?

Nowadays, the saying is most associated with politics, consumer behaviour and the stock market. But where did it come from?
Most of us have heard of ‘jumping on the bandwagon’, which suggests joining or supporting others in something that’s likely to have a favourable outcome. What you might not know is where this phrase originated from.
In the 19-century, performing bands played on carts during carnivals and street parades. These were called bandwagons. As the band played and the wagon went from street to street, the musicians encouraged people to jump on the bandwagon so they could carry on listening to the music as they played.
It wasn’t until 1848, however, that the phrase ‘jump on the bandwagon’ came about during the presidential campaign of US senator Zachary Taylor. Dan Rice was a clown campaigning for Taylor and while promoting him he encouraged potential voters to ‘jump on the bandwagon’ to show support for Taylor.
At the same time, he suggested that anyone who wasn’t on it was missing out on the fun. His campaign was ultimately successful. Zachary Taylor became the US president in 1849.

Examples of the Bandwagon Effect:

  • Facebook post has a lot of ‘likes’, so it gets even more.
  • An item of clothing becomes fashionable because lots of people start wearing it.
  • A beauty product sells out because everyone wants it.
  • Stocks soar as people invest in a particular company.
  • A political party is performing well in the polls and gets increased support.
  • You start a new diet because everyone else is on it.

How does the Bandwagon Effect affect us?

Herd mentality

“Collective fear stimulates herd instinct, and tends to produce ferocity toward those who are not regarded as members of the herd.”  ― Bertrand Russell
Herd mentality is another name for people following the same patterns of behaviour. Examples of this are queuing up all night for the latest Apple smartphone, parents having to buy the must-have toy for Christmas, and Black Friday. These are relatively harmless examples of a herd mentality, but when can the effects become dangerous?
In 2008, the US housing market crashed. When it became obvious that many homeowners would not be able to pay their mortgages, investors, instead of remaining calm, went into a herd mentality and panicked. Once a few starting selling shares, the rest quickly followed which led to one of the biggest financial disasters in US history.

Manipulation

No one likes to admit that they are being manipulated, but we look for validation of our beliefs every day. For instance, when you go to book a holiday, you might go on TripAdvisor, when you buy a product online, you may read the customer reviews. Even something as innocuous as watching a film, we’ll check out the rating and it will influence our choice.
So is this manipulation or being selective? Well, it depends. Studies have shown that we’ll pay more for a product if other people recommend it.

Voting

We all like to think we are on the winning side when it comes to voting for a candidate. Studiesshow that voters who are undecided are more likely to vote for who is ‘expected to win’. This is a clear case of the bandwagon effect.
But the media also plays a huge role in influencing society. Whoever controls the media can decide whether they want to give a candidate positive or negative coverage. Once a politician has the popular vote, it is easy to skim over our rational thoughts. They have the backing of the nation and the majority of voters, and the majority of us can’t be wrong, surely?

Fear and the Need for Belonging

Why is it so hard to escape this particular cognitive bias? Because we all want to belong and that’s why it is important to align ourselves with a group. Outsiders don’t do well in society. They get singled out, bullied, made fun of and isolated.
Studies have shown that as a result, teenagers are most susceptible to the bandwagon effect and it’s not surprising when you consider how much they want to fit in. As we get older, we grow in confidence. We become more assured of our beliefs and we feel able to confront those who don’t share the same ideologies as us.
Of course, there is another reason and that is that we all like to think we are right. And when we join likeminded people on our particular bandwagon, it reassures us that we are on the right path. Moreover, once we have formulated an opinion, either side of an argument, we’ll find everything we can to support that opinion. Whether it’s facts, reviews or people.
So is it possible to avoid this effect or are we destined to remain on the bandwagon? There are ways we can stop jumping on one in the first place.

How to Avoid the Bandwagon Effect

  • Take some time before you make a decision.
  • Get feedback from other sources and compare your results.
  • Make decisions on your own, away from people that share similar views to you.
  • Think about alternative views.
  • Put yourself in the other person’s situation.
  • Try and take emotion out of the scenario.
We all like to think we exercise free will over our actions. Perhaps with a little forethought and knowledge, we will be able to in future.
 
References:
  1. Medium.com
 
 

 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

About the Author: Janey Davies.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 



Archives:


 
 



No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


More @ http://violetflame.biz.ly and 
https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/



 

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publicado por achama às 07:47
Sábado, 29 / 06 / 19

Terror Management Theory and How It Explains Our Beliefs and Behaviors ~ Francesca F.

Terror Management Theory and How It Explains Our Beliefs and Behaviors.

By Francesca F.

June 27th, 2019

 

 

 

We all get scared of the fatality of human life, but the Terror Management Theory may be affecting you more than you realize.
Fear of death is a natural reaction when we become aware of its inevitability. We all have our own ways of managing this fear, from acceptance to complete ignorance. The fear of death, however, is capable of shaping our behaviors without us even realizing. Terror Management Theory attempts to explain and explore how the fear of death affects us all.

What is Terror Management Theory?

It is a psychological attempt to explain a kind of defensive thinking which stems from an awareness and an acute fear of death. It supposes that humans have a biological predisposition towards self-preservation, but we are a unique species in the sense that we have symbolic thought.
This symbolic thought allows us to consider the future and reflect on the past. This brings about the realization that death is inevitable and cannot be controlled. This realization causes incredible fear and anxiety which humans must then manage.
Terror Management Theory explains how we manage this fear. It supposes that this fear and anxiousness cause people to adopt certain worldviews which protect self-esteem, self-worth, and sustainability. These worldviews then, in turn, cause behaviors in people which may vary from culture to culture.

Where does the Terror Management Theory come from?

Ernest Becker developed the concept in 1973, although it was not called this. Becker wrote The Denial of Death which addressed the tendency of humans to reject death and try to avoid it.
In The Worm at the CoreJeff Greenberg, Sheldon Solomon and Tom Pyszczynski developed what is now known as Terror Management Theory. This book reviews the myriad of scientific papers and research which support Becker’s central claim that the fear of death is ‘the mainspring of human activity.’
There are now more than 500 studies on the subject. Each examines a different facet of human behavior associated with a fear of death, such as aggression, stereotyping, self-awareness and much, much more. Research shows that the fear of death can affect our behavior without us even realizing it, making research into Terror Management Theory incredibly important.
There are three lines of research which provide empirical support for Terror Management Theory:
  1. Higher self-esteem has a direct link to lower anxiety. This highlights that self-esteem offers anxiety relief and physiological arousal.
  2. When people think about themselves dying, attempts to defend their cultural worldviews becomes stronger. They become increasingly more responsive to similar actions in others and more aggressive to those who are not. Nationalism is a key example of this during wars and times of difficulty.
  3. Research shows that when cultural beliefs or self-esteem is threatened, non-conscious thoughts of death come to mind more frequently.
All of this is to say that the Terror Management Theory has a profound effect on our behaviors as an attempt to quell the fear of death.

How does our terror of death affect our behavior?

Terror Management Theory attempts to explain human attempts to manage the terror of death through the development of cultural worldviews. Worldviews are human formed systems of belief shared by individuals which attempt to minimize the fear of death. They do so by attributing meaning and value to different people, objects and rituals.
All cultures offer their own explanation of the value of human life in the universe. They each have a system of acceptable behaviors and reassure people with the promise of immortality for those who comply. We accept these systems in different religions and cultural norms which allow us to feel we will not be forgotten or somehow live on.

We can gain immortality either literally or symbolically.

Literal immortality is provided by the belief of souls, heavens and the afterlife. Some religions even offer reincarnation for those who are particularly virtuous in the eyes of that religion.
Symbolic immortality provided by ideas of a great nation, building expansive fortunes, having children and making important accomplishments. Although they do not promise us life after death, they reassure us that we will not be forgotten and somehow live on.
Terror Management Theory also attempts to explain why individuals perceive themselves of persons of greater value. It causes people to form deep bonds within their own cultural group to boost their self-esteem and personal significance. It is these tight bonds with our respective social groups which can lead to stereotyping and discrimination. This is because we like to think of our own group as being somewhat superior.
Fear of death is a global feeling. It is a natural human reaction to the inevitability that life comes to an end. What is interesting is how it can divide us into cultures fearing and feeling threatened by one another. We all react differently to the anxious thoughts of our inevitable demise.
Terror Management Theory attempts to explain human determination to forge a place in history. True immortality may or may not be possible. Yet, somehow, if we feel as though we will be remembered, we somehow mitigate the real effects of death.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/
  2. https://www.sciencedirect.com/

 

 

  1.  

 

 

 

 

About the Author: Francesca F.

Francesca is a freelance writer currently studying a degree in Law and Philosophy. She has written for several blogs in a range of subjects across Lifestyle, Relationships and Health and Fitness. Her main pursuits are learning new innovative ways of keeping fit and healthy, as well as broadening her knowledge in as many areas as possible in order to achieve success.
 
 
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 
Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 
 
 

 
No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


More @ http://violetflame.biz.ly and 
https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/



 

Like this! please bookmark. It is updated daily

 

 
 
 
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publicado por achama às 07:37
Terça-feira, 25 / 06 / 19

How to Practice Modern Stoicism and Why It Will Make You Happier ~ Janey Davies.

How to Practice Modern Stoicism and Why It Will Make You Happier.

By Janey Davies.

June 25th, 2019.

 
 

 



 

Just one glance at the internet and you’ll be deluged with posts promising to reveal the secrets of everlasting happiness. But actually, there is no mystery to being happy, and modern stoicism can show you why.
The word stoic suggests a longsuffering, patient, tolerant person that bears their burden without complaint. However, to imply that this is the route to happiness would be completely wrong. The theory behind modern stoicism is simple.

What Is Modern Stoicism?

In life, we cannot control everything so we should focus on the things we can and accept what we cannot change.
Modern stoicism originates from the Stoics who were ancient philosophers living in Greece. These wise men argued that in order to live happier lives we should decide what things we can change and what we cannot.
Once we have distinguished between the two, we can work at changing what is within our power to do so. Then it is easier to accept what we cannot change as part of life. This might sound like airy-fairy nonsense, but it does make a lot of sense when you consider what is actually under our control.
What can’t we control?
  • What people think of us.
  • Our own bodies.
  • The environment
  • What people do.
What can we control?
  • How we think about all of the above.
  • What judgments we make about those thoughts.

There are two basic principles:

We can’t control everything in life. All we can control is how we think about what happens and the judgments we make, based on these thoughts. And this is where it gets interesting. The ancient Greeks believed that it is not actual things that cause us unhappiness but how we think about them.
When something happens, we make a judgment about it. If we think the thing is bad, we feel upset or angry or grief. It all depends on what the thing is, on how we have perceived and judged it. However, this same thing might not upset another person, indeed, it might even be a joyous event for someone else.
For example, take a World Cup final. The winning team’s fans will be rejoicing. The losers will feel real pain and grief. If you’re not interested in football, you won’t be affected at all.
So, the important thing to remember is that whatever judgment we add to our thoughts gives the thing value. Moreover, it is this value that produces our emotion. The good thing is that we have control over these judgments. Whatever happens, whether it is good or bad, we can decide what value we assign to them. That value will then affect our emotions.
Likewise, this emotion can be happiness or sadness or anything we choose to feel. So while we may have no control over what happens to us, we do have complete control over how we feel about what happens to us. Consequently, we are in control of our happiness.

So how does stoicism work in the modern world?

 

Figure out what’s really important

 
Many people lust after wealth, fame, power, status, but the reality is that few of us are going to attain these things. As a result, a lot of us are going to end up miserable because we haven’t achieved these goals. So why do we value these things? At the end of the day, most of us just want to be comfortable, healthy, have good friends and no stresses or worries.
Consider why you want these meaningless trappings? Is it to impress other people? Perhaps the media tells you that in order to be happy, you have to have the fastest car, the nicest watch, the latest designer dress. Do what makes you happy, not what others tell you.

It’s not about self-belief or positive thinking

 
Consider this scenario; you’ve decided to scale Mount Everest. You’re setting off with no strategy, equipment, guides and you’re unfit. Now, no amount of self-belief or positive thinking is going to get you to the top of that mountain. Modern stoicism is about setting realistic goals that are right for you and that are achievable.
You hear a lot of stories of successful business people where determination and positive thinking was the key to their success. They never gave up and it was their dogged self-belief that spurred them on. But when you consider that 9 out of 10 start-ups fail, it’s obviously not about believing in yourself. It’s about getting the right idea in the first place.

Distinguish whether the situation is under your control or not

 
If something is starting to bother you, try and distinguish whether it is one of those things that’s under your control or not. Think about this as a line that divides the actions of anything that’s out of your control on one side, and your thoughts about those actions on the other side. Then whatever is bothering you, place it either side of the line. Now, you’ve distinguished which one it is, is there anything you can do about it?
For example, a shop assistant is rude to you in the store. You immediately feel angry, but you can’t control the assistant’s actions. Perhaps they are busy and under stress? What you can dois complain about their behaviour to their manager, or you can ask them to explain their rude behaviour.
By dividing what you can control and can’t takes the pressure off you. It removes emotion from situations. It’s actually very freeing. It’s not about letting people off the hook for being rude or aggressive, it’s more about living your life without the pressure of feeling responsible for everything that happens in the world.
My final point is that if you want to start practising modern stoicism, every morning, think about the day ahead, the possible traps you might encounter. Just be ready for them and remember that you can’t control everything, but you can control how you feel about things.
 
References:
  1. http://www.bbc.com
  2. https://www.independent.co.uk
 

 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

About the Author: Janey Davies.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
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publicado por achama às 21:12
Segunda-feira, 24 / 06 / 19

How to Overcome Inferiority Complex with 7 Methods That Work ~ Sherrie.

How to Overcome Inferiority Complex with 7 Methods That Work.

By Sherrie.

June 23rd, 2019

 

Confidence equals good mental health, and that’s why learning to overcome the inferiority complex is so important.
Having an inferiority complex means you never really feel good about yourself. In fact, most other people in your life seem greater, more intelligent or more talented. Others may also seem beautiful as opposed to your ugliness.
Do these descriptions ring a bell? Well, learning to overcome the inferiority complex is the key to a better life. No one should feel less than anyone else.

Methods to help you change your mindset and overcome inferiority complex

 
Understanding how to overcome the feelings associated with inferiority complex should be your focus. In order to change your mindset, you have to know exactly what you’re facing.
The inferiority complex is not just feeling bad about yourself temporarily, it’s a feeling that persists from day to day – they’re negative feelings you’ve accepted about yourself.

There are methods, however, that help you get rid of these feelings over time:

1. Pinpoint one source

The truth is, you may feel inferior to many people. That’s the horrible nature of the inferiority complex. The good news is, you can focus on one person to help you pinpoint where your weaknesses are. For instance, choose a so-called “superior person”, and ask yourself one question: “Why do I feel inferior to this person?”
Analyzing the one person you picked will help you build levels of confidence. Say you feel that the person is more attractive than you, more intelligent, and more sociable. Well, you can start by finding one thing you can do that they cannot.
There are things, trust me, because no one is perfect. In fact, there may be many things you can do better, but you’ve just focused on your inferior state as opposed to their seemingly perfected one. Do you see? Try this one out as soon as possible. You may be surprised.

2. Positive self-talk

Most of the time, we can learn a great deal about how to get over feeling inferior just by talking good to ourselves. Be honest, how many times have you said, “I’m ugly”“I’m not good enough”, or “I wish I was more like someone else?” Well, I’m sure we’ve all fallen prey to these thoughts from time to time.
The key here is to practice countering these negative thoughts with positive ones. For each negative talk we have with ourselves, we should strive to have two positive ones.
Over time, you will notice a great change in your confidence level. And if someone happens to insult you, you will be armed and ready to defend your self-esteem.

3. Find the root

Of course, if you want to know how to destroy the inferiority complex, you must remember where it came from. Maybe you have no idea how the negative self-talk and feelings even surfaced. Well, if you experienced rejection or trauma in your early life, inferiority feelings may be deep-rooted and will have to be pulled out and examined.
You can start analyzing yourself or you can seek professional help in this area. Some roots, I must admit, travel deep within your mind.
Some of these roots go far and some are large, meaning they encompass multiple issues, situations and people from your past. This is where untangling roots also come into play. To heal your confidence, you must discover these roots.

4. Gravitate toward positive people

Another way to overcome feelings of inferiority is to surround yourself with as many positive people as possible. Being around positive people remind you of how you’re supposed to treat yourself. They remind you of your worth and talents.
If you’ve noticed, positive people usually don’t criticize others. Instead, they may lovingly point out ways to improve. On the other hand, negative people will always have a way to bring you and themselves down simultaneously.
It’s obvious what you should do in this case. Stay as far away from toxic behavior or negative people as possible.

5. Good mantras and proclamations

Not only should you talk good to yourself, but you should also proclaim your good points. When you feel inferior, speak a positive mantra about yourself.
For instance,  you may say, “I am talented”, and “I am kind”. This helps build you up by speaking your worth out loud. Whether you are spiritual or not, I’m telling you, the spoken word is a powerful thing. It truly is capable of turning things around for the better.

6. Always be yourself

If you’ve fallen victim to idolization, which we all do to a certain extent, then you should step back a moment. Immediately, stop all attempts to be like someone else, right now. After you feel clean of everyone else’s influence, fill yourself with yourself.
That’s right, embrace who you are, and examine all your good points. I bet, you have so much to be thankful for, and so many hidden talents. This simple move can boost your ability to overcome inferiority and other negative complexes.

7. Stop comparisons

That brings me to another toxic and heinous act we fall victim to – comparisons. It’s so easy to feel inferior when we compare ourselves with others. We should never ever do that.
So, for this last method, let’s practice working to better ourselves apart from anyone else. Yes, appreciate others and their talents, but never let those things decide who you should be. End comparisons now.

We can all feel better about ourselves

Learning how to overcome inferiority complex is no easy task, I will not lie. However, being able to accomplish this task allows you to open up to a multitude of possibilities in your life. The ability to be confident is a power that so few actually hold. In fact, the inferiority complex inhabits most of us on some level.
Regardless, we should try every day, to love and appreciate ourselves. We are the only one like us on the face of this earth. We have a mixture of unique talents and characteristics that the world surely needs.
I’m going to say you’re beautiful, talented, and worthy, to help you jump start your journey on defeating the inferiority complex, and also just in case no one else has told you lately.
Be well.
 
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au
 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 



About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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publicado por achama às 04:44
Terça-feira, 18 / 06 / 19

What Is Change Blindness and How It Affects You without Your Awareness

What Is Change Blindness and How It Affects You without Your Awareness.

By Janey Davies.

June 18th, 2019.

 
 

 



 

I was watching an episode of Air Crash Investigation the other day and investigators stated that the cause of a fatal aeroplane crash was change blindness.
My ears pricked up. I thought I’d heard of every psychological trait in the book, but I’d never come across this one. What on earth was it and how could it have caused two experienced pilots to make terrible errors in the cockpit that lead to the deaths of their passengers?
I had to find out. So what are the basics behind change blindness?

What Is Change Blindness?

Basically, it is when something we are looking at changes without us noticing. But how can it happen? We all like to think that we have a keen eye for what’s going on around us. We are natural observers. People watchers. We see things. We notice stuff. If something has changed, we can tell.
Well, actually, that’s not quite true. Studies show that if we are distracted for long enough, then our focus fails. Even more surprisingly, the change can be huge and we still won’t see it. So how does it happen?
“Change blindness is a failure to detect that an object has moved or disappeared and is the opposite of change detection.” Eysenck and Keane

The Experiments

Focused Attention

This infamous study has been replicated many different times. In the original one, participants watched a video of six people and had to count how many times the ones wearing white tee-shirts passed a basketball to each other.
During this time, a woman entered the scene in a gorilla suit, stared at the camera, banged on her chest then walked away. Half the participants didn’t see the gorilla.
It appears that if we focus on one task we cannot see other things.
Focusing our Attention Limits our Resources
Our brains can only manage so much information at a time. Therefore, it has to prioritise and limit what it deems to be unnecessary.
This is why we can’t feel the clothes we are wearing, or as you are reading these words now, you are not aware of noises from outside. Of course, now I’ve mentioned them you are now beginning to pay them more attention.
However, our attention span is limited. This means whatever we focus on has to be carefully chosen. Typically, that one thing we do pay attention to gets all our attention. In fact, to the detriment of everything else. As a result, we miss out on large swathes of detail because of our laser-like focus on the one area.

Blocked Vision

In this study, a researcher talks to a participant. While they are talking two men walk between them carrying a door. The door blocks the view of the researcher and the participant.
While this is happening, the researcher swaps places with one of the men carrying the door and once the door had passed then continues chatting to the participant as if nothing untoward has happened. Out of 15 participants, only 7 noticed the change.
If something blocks our view for just a few seconds, it is enough to distract us.
We use our past experiences to fill in the gaps
If we can’t see for a few moments our brain fills in the gap for us. Life flows, it doesn’t stop and start in jerks and jolts. This is our brain taking the shortest cut necessary in order to keep us surviving and performing quickly in our ever-changing world.
In all our past experiences, we haven’t come across someone changing into someone else so we presume it won’t happen today. We simply don’t expect to see a different person when the door has passed us. It doesn’t make sense so we don’t even entertain it as a possibility.

Losing Sight of a Person

In this study, participants watched a video of a student lounge. One female student leaves the room but has left her bag behind. Actor A appears and steals money from her bag. She leaves the room by turning a corner and walking out through the exit.
In the second scenario, Actor A turns the corner but then is replaced by Actor B (the viewers don’t see the replacing) they just see her exit. When 374 participants watched the change film, only 4.5% noticed the actor had changed.
If we lose our visual reference for a few seconds, we assume it will be the same when it reappears.
If the change doesn’t make sense to us, it is difficult to see
Changes are usually drastic, sudden, they catch our attention. Just think about sirens on emergency vehicles or someone acting suspiciously. We have a tendency to see things that change because they are usually moving in some way. They switch from a static nature to a mobile one.
But people don’t change into other people. Gorillas don’t just appear out of nowhere.  That’s why we miss things that are out of the ordinary. We just don’t expect people to change into other people.

How to Reduce the Effects of Change Blindness

  • Individuals are more likely to make this sort of mistake than people in groups.
  • Changes are easier to stop when objects are produced holistically. For example, a whole face rather than just the facial features.
  • Changes in the foreground are detected more easily than changes in the background.
  • Experts are more likely to notice changes in their own field of study.
  • Visual cues can help bring the focus back onto the object of attention.
As for the aeroplane in the programme? Eastern Airlines was due to land in Florida when a small bulb in the landing nosegear light failed in the cockpit. Despite the alarm warning, the pilots spent so much time trying to get it to work they failed to notice their altitude was seriously low until it was too late. They crashed into the Everglades. Tragically, 96 people died.
It’s not likely that we are going to be faced with the task of counting a basketball and miss a woman prancing around in a gorilla suit every day. But as the air crash programme has shown, this phenomena can have devastating effects.
References:
  1. https://www.verywellmind.com
  2. https://www.bbc.co.uk

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

About the Author: Janey Davies.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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publicado por achama às 19:57
Domingo, 16 / 06 / 19

The Art of Constructive Feedback: How to Give and Receive It ~ Michelle L.

The Art of Constructive Feedback: 

How to Give and Receive It.

By Michelle L. 

Contributor writer to Learning Mind.

March 16th, 2019. 

 
constructive feedback
 

 

Few people are likely to raise their hands with an enthusiastic ‘me’ when it comes to receiving criticism. But those who are advocates of it know that constructive feedback is not only useful but also essential.
People don’t love feedback too much because they are unfortunate recipients of crippling criticism – the kind that makes them feel as though they aren’t able to do anything worthy. That outlook may change if they understand the difference between negative criticism and constructive feedback that helps them grow.

Telling the Difference Between Constructive and Negative Feedback

Giving criticism is integral to your role, whether you’re a parent or a manager who looks after the performance and welfare of staff. Many people feel that they have done their jobs as long as their children or subordinates receive some feedback. The raw truth is that criticism isn’t useful if it shatters the recipient’s confidence completely.
Delivery is the key, and the first step to doing so effectively is to understand the difference between constructive and destructive criticism.
People use negative feedback if their goal is to shatter a recipient’s confidence. Managers may tell their subordinates how poorly they’ve performed on tasks without providing evidence or reasons for their evaluations. Employees seldom understand why they’ve underperformed or know how to make improvements.
And there is a parallel to the home – parents who give negative feedback to their children may discipline their youngsters without telling them why they have earned harsh criticism.
Constructive feedback, conversely, instills confidence in an employee or child. Think about your favorite teachers when you were in school. They were probably the ones who knew how to point out the errors in your assignments without making you feel as though the topics assigned were out of your league.
Similarly, respected and competent managers are the ones who highlight the flaws in their employees’ performances without making them feel like complete failures at their jobs.

Why Constructive Criticism Isn’t Always Bad

Feedback in any form isn’t easy to swallow. Perhaps you need some convincing.
First of all, feedback tells people about your expectations and improves performance. Learning about their strengths increases the confidence of your employees. They gain the motivation they need to improve their skills and align with business objectives. The person who provides feedback also becomes proficient when doing it.
Furthermore, organizations invest considerable sums of money in finding talent. That said, employees have to spend a significant amount of time learning their roles and responsibilities. Feedback helps them with their work so that companies won’t have to find replacements.
Feedback improves trust. It creates a bond between parents and children. Most children understand that parents mean well when they make suggestions. If you are a manager, giving constructive, open feedback to your employees builds their rapport with you. It inspires loyalty.
A manager’s role is to offer feedback that encourages a staff’s development. It is vital that he or she does so on an ongoing basis and not only when performance reviews come around.

How to Provide Constructive Feedback

Constructive feedback is essential to get others to improve on their shortcomings, without causing ill-feeling or shattering their confidence. Here are a few tips to help you get started.

1. Be specific and focus on the problem

First of all, instead of merely telling people what they need to do better, explain why they need to make improvements. Saying “You need to submit work on time” and leaving the statement open assumes that recipients understand what the problem is. However, this may not be the case – perhaps the employee has never faced the ire of bosses before.
Also, never assume that people have the necessary background information they need. They may not understand how their behavior affects you or others. The more you focus on the problem, the more likely the recipient of the feedback is to address it.
If necessary, tell them how the situation affects you and the rest of the business. The more specific you can make your feedback, the more actionable it will be.

2. Don’t get personal

“Constructive” implies that feedback should focus on impartial observations instead of personal attributes.
“Your draft was poor” isn’t likely to get a warm reception. The recipient of the feedback will probably see it as a personal attack instead of an objective assessment, even if the work is not up to par. Focus on the problem at hand and not the person’s attributes.

3. Use the Sandwich Method

One essential key to making feedback palatable is to include positives with the negatives. It tells everyone that you have a balanced perspective.
Deliver feedback like you would serve a sandwich. State the positives, discuss problems, and finish off with more positive feedback to cushion any sting.
For example, you can tell a child, “You’ve improved your math test score.” Then discuss the areas that need improvement. “But the algebra needs some work.” It’s essential to finish off with, “You’ll become a math whiz in no time.”
You can use this approach if you’re addressing employees. Start with “You did an excellent job this quarter. Sales are up by 15%.” Then, discuss the problem areas.”Customers have mentioned that response times are a little slow.” Round off with “Overall; they are delighted with the work you’ve done.”
Be careful not to be too positive as you may come across as insincere; everyone needs to improve. The Sandwich Method of delivering feedback ensures a balanced perspective.

4. Be direct but informal

Try not to use technology such as email, text message, or the phone to relay your feedback, as this can lead to misinterpretation and make it seem less important than it is.
Don’t deliver feedback via text messages or emails unless circumstances entail otherwise. Using technology may lead to misinterpretation and cause people to dismiss it.
Have an honest chat with the person instead. Try not to beat around the bush because constructive feedback is most effective when delivered straight to the point.
Find a quiet meeting room where you can have an honest and informal one-on-one chat with the employee. At the same time, try not to beat around the bush; whether it’s positive or negative, feedback is most effective when you get straight to the point.

5. Show your sincerity

Make sure that your tone and manner matches your feedback, to avoid confusion. If it’s positive, make sure that your body language shows that you appreciate the person’s efforts. If the input is negative, use a serious tone to indicate that the problem needs addressing.
Again, remember not to address personal attributes to prevent blame assignation or fault finding.

6. Listen

To ensure that your feedback is constructive, allow recipients to respond. The response time is essential, especially if the criticism is negative. It shows them that you are genuinely interested in their interpretation of events and that you sincerely welcome their solutions.

7. Make it timely

Always try to give positive feedback when the employee’s praiseworthy achievement is still fresh in everyone’s memory. Give positive feedback when the achievement is still fresh in everybody’s minds, to ensure objectivity.
Timing is essential when delivering negative feedback. Again, it’s wise to cool off before addressing issues to ensure that you don’t color your feedback with emotion.

Receiving Negative Feedback

Feedback is a two-way street. We receive criticism as often as we give it; here’s how to accept input like a professional.

1. It’s never personal.

First of all, feedback isn’t personal if you deliver it constructively. It merely consists of impartial observations, whether in a business context or otherwise.
It doesn’t matter if the person giving the feedback is being mean or wishes you well. What counts is yourself and your reaction. Respond respectfully and with gratitude. Remember that you’re intelligent enough to discern if the person means well.

2. Ask for examples.

 
Most people try not to offend when giving feedback and therefore skirt around the issues at hand.
They try to be as polite as they can, which is excellent for removing the sting of negativity. However, you will need to provide details if you wish to get to the root of the issue.
 

 

Show that you’re not interested in fault finding but only in solving problems.

3. Get help.

A sure-fire way to show your interest in another person’s feedback is to ask for advice on improving your performance. Say, “I feel the same way as you do and would like to do better. Do you have any advice?”
When you acknowledge the truth of the feedback and ask for advice, you show your willingness to learn. The deliverer of the input is likely to respond with helpful counsel.

4. Share your progress.

You are likely to work on areas that need improvement if you respect the people who deliver the feedback. Share your progress with them and show them that you are willing to take the steps necessary to improve your performance.

5. Be a feedback mirror.

Remember that people make themselves vulnerable to criticism themselves when they deliver it; after all, no one’s perfect.
That may be why people are so rarely honest about what they think of others. Offer yourself as a partner in self-improvement, and you’re likely to become an agent of change.
Constructive feedback produces results without causing any hurt if delivered well. Try these the next time you are a deliverer or recipient.
 

About the Author: Michelle L.


Michelle is a freelance writer who loves all things about life. She has a broad range of interests that include literature, history, philosophy, human relationships, and psychology. When she is not busy writing her heart out, you will find her tinkering jazz tunes on her piano. She loves anything that helps her to grow as a person, including her pet terriers, Misty and Cloudy.


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publicado por achama às 22:26
Domingo, 16 / 06 / 19

What Is Introverted Thinking and How It Is Different from Extroverted One ~ Janey Davies.

What Is Introverted Thinking and How It Is Different from Extroverted One.

By Janey Davies.

June 15th, 2019.

 
 

 



 

Did you know that the Myers-Briggs Personality Theory uses our way of thinking to separate us into introverted and extroverted individuals?

If this is a surprise to you, then you’re not the only one. I thought the personality traits of introverts and extroverts extended only to external behaviour. For example, the way we act around others, whether we like social contact or whether we prefer to be left alone.
For instance, a typical introvert will tire easily in company and find solitude the best way to recharge their batteries. On the other hand, extroverts love to be the centre of attention and find alone time hard to deal with.
However, I didn’t realise that we could also think in an introverted or extroverted way. So what exactly is introverted thinking?
You might imagine that when we think, we do so in a kind of social and personal vacuum, but that’s far from the truth. Every experience, every connection, every person we’ve ever met colours our thinking process. As a result, when we think, we bring up all this knowledge and it shapes our thoughts.
So, it stands to reason that someone who is, by nature, more of an introverted person is not suddenly going to start thinking in an extroverted way. But it’s actually more complicated than that. There are very clear differences between introverted and extroverted thinking. And some you might not have thought of.

Differences between Introverted Thinking and Extroverted Thinking

Introverted Thinkers:

  • Focus on what’s in their head
  • Deep thinkers
  • Prefer concepts and theories
  • Good with solving problems
  • Use precise language
  • Natural followers
  • Get projects moving
  • Need to know how things work
Examples of Introverted Thinkers:
Albert Einstein, Charles Darwin, Larry Page (Co-founder of Google), Simon Cowell, Tom Cruise.
Introverted thinkers don’t mind mess and chaos because it allows them to sift through the mess to find answers. They like to analyse a situation before they make a decision.
They will gather all the necessary information they have on the subject, measure it carefully against what they already know, and see if it corresponds or not. Any new information gets stored for later use, anything that’s incorrect gets tossed.
They continue to work in this way, re-evaluating every situation until they are satisfied they have the right conclusion. Having said that, they are always open to new information because at the end of the day they want the truth.
They have an almost obsessive need to know how things work and, as a result, are renowned for coming up with new inventions. They understand complex theories which they can then use in the real world.

Extroverted Thinkers

  • Focus on the real world
  • Logical thinkers
  • Prefer facts and objectives
  • Good with planning and organising projects
  • Use commanding language
  • Natural leaders
  • Get people moving
  • Need to know how people work
Examples of Extroverted Thinkers
Julius Caesar, Napoleon Bonaparte, Martha Stewart, Judge Judy, Uma Thurman, Nancy Pelosi (US Speaker of the House).
Extroverted thinkers can’t stand mess. They are typically much-organised people who need to know where everything is before they can either start work or begin to relax. You won’t find an extrovert with a messy desk. Moreover, if you are messy and disorganised, just ask one to help you and you won’t ever regret it.
Extroverts are direct people and this applies to their approach to life. They won’t faff about. They make quick decisions, take the fastest route or skip lunch to make a meeting. They plan in advance, schedule appointments and know exactly when their train or bus is due to arrive.
Also, they stick with what they know and don’t like new information because it might mess up their carefully thought-out plans.

5 Signs You Might Be an Introverted Thinker

ISTPs & INTPs use introverted thinking.
  1. You don’t believe everything you read.
Do you find you are always fact-checking before you repost on Facebook? Did you question your tutors at school? Do you take things with a pinch of salt? These are all signs of introverted thinking.
  1. You like to take your time when making a decision
No one can accuse you of making rash decisions or acting on impulse. You won’t be rushed when it comes to important decisions.
  1. You’re not afraid of arguing your point of view.
Some people don’t like confrontation, but that’s not you. If you believe you are right, you’ll back yourself, even if it makes you unpopular.
  1. Sometimes you find it hard to explain your position
Just because it makes sense to you doesn’t mean it’s easy to tell someone else.
  1. You don’t follow normal societal routines
People that follow their own path, whether it’s getting up late and working until midnight, or going vegan, natural rule breakers are internal thinkers.
 

5 Signs You Might Be an Extroverted Thinker

ENTJs and ESTJs use extroverted thinking.
  1. You like facts and figures
You have a tendency to believe and trust people. You look to experts to give you advice and you’re happy to follow it.
  1. You can’t bear people who procrastinate
There’s no ‘doing it tomorrow when you can do it today’ for you. In fact, you don’t get the point of putting something off and you can’t understand why someone would.
  1. You’ll make a decision quickly
People can rely on you in a crisis because of your quick thinking and the fact that you are not afraid of making hard choices.
  1. You are able to vocalise your thoughts
You can easily externalise your inner thoughts to others. It’s part of how you can communicate easily and get the job done.
  1. You like rules and regulations
Following the rules allows things to run smoothly and that lets you plan and organise your world more efficiently.
Did you recognise yourself in any of the above descriptors? If you want to know more, why not see which Myers-Briggs personality type you are?
 
References:

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

About the Author: Janey Davies.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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publicado por achama às 05:30
Quarta-feira, 12 / 06 / 19

5 Signs the Illusion of Control Is Ruining Your Life and How to Stop It ~ Sherrie.

5 Signs the Illusion of Control Is Ruining Your Life and How to Stop It.

By Sherrie.

June 11th, 2019

 

If you think you’re in control of life, think again. The illusion of control, although sometimes positive, can have negative consequences.
Sometimes, to be honest, I believe that people who do wrong toward others are punished. Hey, maybe they are. As for me, if I fall into the illusion of control in this aspect, I spend much of my time thinking that I will be avenged at every insult or attack. That’s a waste of time.
The illusion of being in control can definitely be positive, as it gives us the confidence to handle a situation. It can also be negative because we cannot possibly handle every situation. The truth is, some things are out of our control completely. Our acceptance of this fact is important.

How the illusion of control ruins our lives

If you go even deeper than that, you find those who live every day thinking they’re in control of the entirety of their existence, which isn’t true.
There are signs that the illusion and trickery of control have taken over, pushing them toward a chaotic and stressful existence. Here are a few examples.

1. Paranoia

Paranoia is a sign that you are under the illusion that you control things. You might think you’re in control, but maybe you are just watching your life unfold naturally, good or bad. If your spells and incantations don’t work, then the illusion of control will tell you that someone has transpired to bring you bad luck.
Or they could be following you, trying to do harm, or even ruin your future. If you depend on charms or other luck bringing aspects to stay in control, you could be fooling yourself.
Your paranoia could get ridiculous if not checked. If someone you love is always paranoid, you could be dealing with someone who feels like they are losing this control they once had.

2. Dwelling in the past

Someone who dwells too long on past events may be living under the illusion that they could have controlled certain situations.
When you live your life, you make mistakes. Over time, these mistakes become part of the past. Some of them affect us and our loved ones deeply. The illusion of control makes us think that if only we could go back in time and change things, that life would be different.
And maybe life would be different, but dwelling on this fact creates a fantasy world that is unhealthy to live in. If you’re constantly reliving the past and rehearsing different ways you could have approached situations, you really are ruining your life right now.
You may even look back at “now” and wish you could have changed that too.

3. Abuse

You see this is relationships when one person tries to control the actions of another. But when it all boils down to it, you cannot really control anyone. Eventually, they will do what they want anyway.
If you notice one person in the relationship trying to control the other, this is abuse. They are also under the illusion that they are in control. They’re not really in control and they never will be.

4. Cosmetic surgery obsession

You know the ones, the women and men who keep getting facelifts, tummy tucks, and breast augmentation. Yes, those individuals can be obsessed. These people think they are in total control of how they appear and how long they will remain beautiful.
The truth is, cosmetic surgery does work, to some extent, but it cannot keep us alive forever.
We have yet to discover the fountain of youth and until we do, we will age, and we will die. That’s the simple and concise truth of the matter. Plastic surgery can ruin our lives by keeping us locked into getting more and more changes and leaving us always unsatisfied.

5. Reckless behavior

You will recognize those who suffer from the illusion of total control by their reckless behavior. These individuals actually think that they are invincible.
I thought like this when I was around 18 years old. They walk down dark alleyways, drive super fast on the freeway, and even indulge in drugs and alcohol.
They really think they are in control at all times, and they will even get furious if you try to stop them. You know these people well. You can tell by their restlessness and boredom.

How can we stop thinking this way?

It’s not easy to break out of a mindset that’s been imprinted upon us from an early age. But, if you can manage to see things from a different perspective, you can learn to actually gain self-control over your illusion of control, if you get my drift.
Utilizing self-control helps you see logic instead of fantasy. It helps you realize that you are no more powerful, invincible, immortal or lucky than the rest of us.
Once you’ve realized this fact, you can focus on really enjoying a good life. Life is full of so many wonderful things, some far out of our control. So, for what we cannot control, I hope we can reach a place of acceptance. I think there we can find the peace we so deserve.
References:
  1. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu
  2. https://www.sciencedaily.com
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 02:48
Terça-feira, 11 / 06 / 19

Karl Marx’s Conflict Theory and What It Reveals about Today’s Society ~ Janey Davies.

Karl Marx’s Conflict Theory and What It Reveals about Today’s Society.

By Janey Davies.

June 10th, 2019.

 
 

 



 

Brexit has caused deep divisions in households in the UK. In France, the ‘gilets jaunes’ are threatening to bring the country to a standstill over rising fuel costs. Can conflict theory help us understand why?
If you’ve noticed that the world seems to be getting a lot less tolerant these days, then conflict theory might have the answer.

What Is Conflict Theory?

Its premise is simple. Developed by Karl Marx, it suggests that society exists in a perpetual state of conflict, rather than harmony.
This is because we are all competing for the same, finite resources. In other words, for each social resource, there is a potential for conflict.
Marx stated that the wealthy in society will always protect their resources and keep them hidden away. The poor will try and obtain wealth using any means necessary.
As a result, there is a constant struggle between these two groups – the rich and the poor. Both individuals and groups within society will strive to benefit themselves over others.
Karl Marx conflict theory
Main Points of Conflict Theory:
  • Limited resources lead to competition between groups in society.
  • These groups are the rich ruling class or the poor working class.
  • The competition is usually economic or social with the ruling class dominating over the working class.
Let’s explore each of the main points in more detail.

1. Competition for resources

There are three types of resource that cause conflict:
  1. Economic resources
  2. Power resources
  3. Status resources
The most obvious resource in society is money. Wealth frees you from stress, worry, it provides you with a better life, more choices.
We all know what money can give us. Money buys you a big house. The opportunity to live in a nice area. The chance to go to a good school, to get a good education. Once you have good qualifications, you can get a better job. This perpetuates the circle of wealth.
Of course, resources don’t just include money. They are also those intangible things like time and social status. For example, a poor, working-class woman in a coercive relationship is not going to have the same opportunities as a single man with rich parents.
Therefore, it is important to understand that there are different types of struggles for resources.

2. The types of groups competing

Marx suggested two types of groups involved in the competition for resources.
  • The wealthy, the ruling class or the bourgeoisie.
  • The poor, working class or the proletariat.
The bourgeoisie account for a very small percentage of the population, but they have the power and resources. As a result, they use this power to influence and dominate the larger majority of the proletariat.
This is the pyramid theory in which a small group at the top control the power of all the other members of society below them. They achieve this in several ways. They take control of the media, they focus attention away from themselves and they will target minority groups for society’s problems.

3. Types of competition – economic and social

interpersonal conflict
So the two groups are the rich and the poor and they are competing for wealth, but they are also competing on a social level too. So what does that mean?
Take the relationship between an employer and a worker. The employer can keep wages stagnating for years, cut worker’s benefits, freeze overtime and stop pay rises. All the worker has is his or her labour to sell as a commodity. They don’t own the factory or the business. They are at the whim of the owners.
Ultimately, the owners want to get the most out of their workers with it costing them the least amount. The same applies to a tenant and a landlord. Their relationship in society is unequal. The landlord wants the most they can get for the property, no matter how nice their tenants are. Therefore there will always be conflict.

Conflict in today’s world

German sociologist Max Weber expanded on Marx’s theory. He suggested that people would be affected on many more levels, which included gender, race, education, class and social mobility. He also inferred that some might not be affected at all. Others might be influenced by the very people in power over them.
For example, if a popular leader made unpopular decisions, how would the masses react? It’s possible they would react favourably. So it’s safe to say that this theory is multi-layered and dependant on many factors, not just class and wealth.

Conflict and the Gilets Jaunes

So are we any closer to explaining the polarised views of Brexit or the protests in France? Well, yes. If the interests of an opposing group become too oppressive, then the opposed group will mobilise.
They will share a sense of belonging and social membership. They’ll create boundaries between those who belong and those don’t. Some will feel so incensed that they’ll take action.
In fact, the conflict itself tends to create a sense of solidarity and pull in others who might not ordinarily join the fight. We can see this with the gilets jaunes of France.
What began as a peaceful protest against a rise in fuel tax has now morphed into something completely different. Not only that but it has grown into a much larger anti-government movement. The protesters believe that you are either with them or against them.

Conflict and Brexit

As for Brexit, the result of the UK referendum is still a huge cause for arguments in Britain. People’s emotions are highly charged. There’s a lot of black and white thinking on this subject.
Those who voted Remain believe they are right and so do those who voted Leave. Moreover, neither will listen to opposing views. With such a small difference in the result of the Leave vote (4%), you’d think people in the UK could find some common ground.
But no. We cement our own ideologies as the truth and the way forward all the while demonising our opponents. We’ve become self-righteous and feel completely justified in our actions. What we don’t realise is that we have now become as bad as our oppressors.

How to Use Conflict Theory to Resolve Disagreements

So let’s apply the theory to human relationships and problems. What we can agree on is that the most important factor is a sense of inequality. Remember the inequality can be real or imagined, it could have happened a minute ago or be centuries old.
  • Conflict is not a contest. If you go into an argument to win at all costs, you are not going to resolve the conflict.
  • Look at the problem from the other person’s perspective. This means putting yourself in their shoes.
  • Find out the root of the inequality. Is it financial, a question of time, education, insecurity?
  • Be open-minded about resolutions and solutions. Your partner or colleague might have an idea of how to resolve the conflict.
  • Listen to the other person. When people feel listened to and validated they are more likely to open up and the level of trust increases.
  • Leave emotion out. Be matter-of-fact when discussing a possible solution. Conflict increases when emotions rise.
  • Focus on the problem, not the person. It helps to take the personality out of the equation and keep your attention on the source of the conflict.
  • Don’t criticise, respect. Nothing shuts down a conversation more than criticism. However, showing respect does the opposite.
We can’t eliminate conflict from our world. But we can change the way we deal with it. This theory shows us that understanding the reasons behind conflict will help us negotiate our waythrough it more effectively.
References:
  1. https://www.investopedia.com
  2. http://www.csun.edu
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

About the Author: Janey Davies.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 14:47
Quinta-feira, 06 / 06 / 19

When Blaming Others for Your Failures, Consider These Uncomfortable Truths ~ Sherrie.

When Blaming Others for Your Failures, Consider These Uncomfortable Truths.

By Sherrie.

June 6th, 2019

 

Excruciating pain at a turning point of our lives will make us stop blaming others. Until then, we will be empty.
Thinking back as far as I can pick out times when I refused to take the blame for things. I remember tantrums in my teenage years, but usually, it was because I didn’t get something I wanted. I think blaming others came later on during my early adulthood when I blamed my shortcomings on the way I was being treated.

Why are we prone to blaming others?

Yes, negative treatment will make you feel victimized, and you will blame others for your future misfortune, but at some point, you must take responsibility. But there are darker, more selfish reasons for blaming everything on others.
Let’s take a look at why we do this hurtful thing, shall we?

1. To attack others

As heartbreaking as it is, attacking others is a way of hurting them to avoid taking responsibility. When approached about something they’ve done, irresponsible people become defensive and lash out.
They don’t have to be a narcissistic person. They could just be afraid of the consequences of their bad behavior, and they’re looking for a way out of the mess. Placing blame on others and flipping the situation may have become a natural defense mechanism.

2. Truth found in narcissistic behavior

I know a man, who, when angry, claims to feel no remorse for his outbursts. You can see the lack of empathy when he yells and throws tantrums that I recognize from my children’s early years.
The first time I heard this outburst, I was taken aback – I was shocked by the pitch and tone of his bellows. Something shifted between us in that moment.
I’ve heard this very man call others narcissists, when in fact, he fit much of the characteristics of this toxic personality. The truth is, it wasn’t always his fault, he was raised to take no responsibility for his actions. He used blaming all others as the only way he could feel healthy self-esteem.

3. Why can’t we accept failures?

I want you to know that it’s okay to be imperfect, and it’s also okay to let the world know this. Failure is just a part of life, and being open and honest about your shortcomings is a step toward growth and strength. It’s a strength that no one can take away from you. It’s an inner honesty with who we really are.
When we cannot accept failure, we cannot accept that we are imperfect. Most people who do this have created a facade that they show others. If someone manages to get close enough to them and sees the truth, they will lash out.
This is because the perfection they display is being threatened to be revealed. This can be devastating to those who are stuck in blaming and shaming others.

4. It’s easy and it’s lazy

It’s so much easier to blame all others for your mistakes. After all, who wants to take the time for self-analysis? We don’t want the consequences that come with being caught in a shady situation or making a mistake when brushing it off with lies ends the conversation faster.
Most of the time, unfortunately, those who play the blame game learned this dynamic early in life, and use it all through adulthood.
They alienate partners and fail at long-term relationships. They are sometimes remarkably gifted at hiding this about themselves, sometimes as long as two years into the union, but after that, the mask starts to fall off revealing some of the most childish and heinous behavior you have ever seen.

5. There’s no moral compass

Usually, those who have the habit of blaming and criticizing others are doing so to have the freedom to act in any way they want. They cover up things, they lie, and they avoid any sort of confrontation at all costs.
If they are religious or spiritual, they love to attend worship services as long as love is the subject of teaching. But as soon, as self-discipline and accountability are introduced, they proclaim they are being controlled.
Morality, standards, dignity, and loyalty, among others, are things they purposely overlook. After all, these things will interfere in their agenda, as I stated before. So, they start to downgrade spiritual aspects in life, but they do not convict themselves for the things they need to fix in their lives.
As frightening as it may seem, the doctrine they once followed will change according to their selfish needs instead of doing the right thing.

Hope for individuals who blame their actions on others

While it’s not easy to change what’s learned between birth and 7 years of age, psychology states that these years are the most impressionable years of a person’s life. What they are taught frame how they will approach things during their later life. So, this means, blaming others has become a deep imprint.
To help those who always blame their failures on others, therapy, intervention, and accountability is a must. At home, be careful not to fall victim to fear when they grow furious. Don’t invade their space, but certainly stand your ground.
Remember, it’s okay to feel a little sad when we fail, but it’s not okay to pass the buck to another. Let’s strive to be better people.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://hbr.org
 
 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.

 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 17:48
Terça-feira, 04 / 06 / 19

5 Tools of Narcissistic Triangulation: Is Someone Doing This to You? ~ Sherrie.

5 Tools of Narcissistic Triangulation: Is Someone Doing This to You?

By Sherrie.

June 3rd, 2019

 

Narcissistic abuse is terrible enough, but having to deal with narcissistic triangulation is a whole other level of this illness.
I’ve studied narcissism and other personality disorders for quite some time. I’ve learned aboutthe traits and characteristics, and then, I discovered that we all have a certain level of narcissism within us. Did you know that? Well, it seems I’m learning something new every day, and that’s a good thing. Just recently I learned there was something called, “narcissistic triangulation”, and this has opened up areas in my life that were hard to see.

What is this form of abuse?

The narcissist’s tool of madness – triangulation – is a severe mode of alienating people from others that they love. Triangulation can also mean using gaslighting(convincing outsiders that someone you love is crazy), and it can mean draining life from the victim while gaining popularity with the victim’s loved ones.
I think it’s one of the sickest weapons that a narcissist can use. In fact, I feel nauseated at this moment because I’m learning that I know quite a few people like this.

Are they using narcissistic triangulation on you?

A narcissist, especially a covert kind, will use triangulation often during their abusive actions. It’s a way to cover who they really are. This happens when the victim starts to figure out the true identity of the narcissist. It’s almost a retaliation from being noticed, actually.
If the narcissist can use triangulation to separate the victim from all their loved ones, then the victim will be aloneeasy prey for the narcissist. Can you feel the disgust? I can.
So, let’s see if any narcissists are using triangulation on you:

1. Invoking jealousy

Narcissists who use triangulation will attempt to make their partner jealous. One of the most common ways they do this is by using a third party.
For instance, the narcissist may tell their partner that one of her friends flirted with him. This not only makes the victim feel insecure but also makes her try harder to please the narcissist in fear of losing his interest to her friend. It’s sadistic, honestly.
If you’ve noticed your partner talking about girls flirting with him, try not to respond. It’s your response the narcissist craves.

2. Division

Have you noticed your partner saying negative things about certain friends you have? If so, they’re probably telling these friends negative things about you as well. This happens when communication between two particular people could expose the narcissist’s true identity.
Pay close attention to who your partner talks about and his overall demeanor when he does this. He could possibly be using triangulation to keep control.

3. Gaslighting

Gaslighting is when a narcissistic personality convinces others that her partner is crazy or abusive. This is possible because of carefully manipulative instigation.
For example, a narcissist will say derogatory things about her partner until he gets mad. When he retaliates, she will say he is crazy. Sometimes she does this in public so that more people can see just how crazed he gets.
If your girlfriend is starting fights with you for no reason, be careful of gaslighting. This might be what’s about to happen, which proves triangulation.

4. Recruitment

Is your partner often calling in reinforcements from friends and family when you start fighting or having a disagreement? If so, then this could be a form of narcissistic triangulation.
Now, sometimes help is needed when dealing with serious issues, but leveraging people to one side is just not a healthy move in a relationship. You may have noticed how your partner’s family members always take their side, this is common of course, but this, in ways, is triangulation as well.

5. The break-up

If you’re about to break up with your partner, then take a close look at how it’s being done.
Let’s say it’s his idea, and not so much your own. If he is using triangulation, he is telling other people about how bad you are and getting them to agree with everything he says. One of these confidants is probably the woman he wishes to replace you with.
It’s a sick and twisted way of ending a relationship, but it fits right in with how narcissists use triangulation.

What you can do with this information

I’ve been reading about narcissists all day now. I was researching things and then ran off into tangents learning even more about the traits and characteristics of the narcissist. I’m going to be honest with you, this type of personality is complex and difficult to change.
The bright side is, now you have a few facts about narcissistic triangulation and how it works. It’s your choice what to do with this information. I do urge you to consider all aspects of your relationship, whether it be romantic, secular or simply a family relationship.
When you recognize the signs of narcissists and triangulation, it’s time to ask yourself one important question.
“Should I get away, or should I stay and try to help?”
The answer is up to you. Just take care of yourself and remember your self-worth in the process.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://en.wikipedia.org
 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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publicado por achama às 18:13
Segunda-feira, 03 / 06 / 19

What Is the Barnum Effect and How It Can Be Used to Fool You ~ Janey Davies.

What Is the Barnum Effect and How It Can Be Used to Fool You

By Janey Davies.

June 2nd, 2019.

 
 

 



 

Have you ever read your horoscope and thought that it was amazingly accurate? You might just be a victim of the Barnum Effect.

The Barnum Effect, also known as the Forer Effect, occurs when people believe that vague and general descriptions are accurate representations of traits that belong to them personally. The phrase indicates a level of gullibility and comes from P.T Barnum.
Psychologist Paul Meehl coined the phrase in 1956. In those days, psychologists used general terms to fit all patients:
“I suggest—and I am quite serious—that we adopt the phrase Barnum effect to stigmatize those pseudo successful clinical procedures in which personality descriptions from tests are made to fit the patient largely or wholly by virtue of their triviality.”
But who exactly is P.T Barnum and how did the phrase originate?
Anyone that has seen The Greatest Showman will recognise P.T Barnum as the incredible 19-century circus entertainer behind the story. What many people don’t know is that in his early life, Barnum ran a touring museum.
This was a carnival full of live freak shows and sensational attractions, many of which were hoaxes. In fact, although he may not have said “There’s a sucker born every minute,” he certainly believed it. Barnum was famous in his early years for pulling off incredible hoaxes on his audiences.

Examples of P.T Barnum’s Greatest Hoaxes

 

George Washington’s 161-year-old nursemaid

In 1835, Barnum actually purchased an 80-year-old black slave and claimed she was President George Washington’s 161-old nursemaid. The lady was blind and disabled but sang songs and regaled audiences with stories of her time with ‘little George’.

The Cardiff Giant

Barnum wasn’t the only one scamming audiences in the 19-century. In 1869, workers on William Newell’s land ‘discovered’ the petrified body of a 10-foot giant. The giant was, in actual fact, a statue placed there for the hoax.
So started the exhibition with audiences paying 25 cents to see the giant. Barnum wanted to buy it but Newell had already sold it to another showman – Hannah, who refused.
So Barnum, realising an opportunity, built his own giant and called the Cardiff version a fake. This prompted Newell to say “There’s a sucker born every minute.”

The ‘Feejee’ Mermaid


Barnum convinced New York newspapers he had the body of a mermaid which had been captured by an American sailor off the coasts of Japan.
The so-called mermaid was actually a monkey’s head and torso sewn onto a fishtail and covered in paper-mâché. Experts had already proven it to be fake. This didn’t stop Barnum. The exhibit toured and crowds flocked to see it.

What is the Barnum Effect?

So Barnum started off his career with elaborate hoaxes and fooling large audiences. And that’s how we come to the effect. This effect occurs most commonly when describing personality traits. As a result, mediums, astrologers, mentalists and hypnotists will use it.

Examples of statements that show the Barnum Effect:

  • You have a great sense of humour but know when to be serious.
  • You use your intuition, but you have a practical nature.
  • You are quiet and introspective at times, but you like to let your hair down.
Can you see what’s happening here? We are covering all bases.
One study showed it was possible to run a personality test on college students and then give every student exactly the same description about themselves. Moreover, the students believed the descriptions.
In the now-famous Forer personality test, Bertram Forer gave his psychology students a personality test. A week later he delivered the results by providing each and every one of them a ‘personality sketch’ made up of 14 sentences which, he said, summed up their personalities.
He asked the students to rate the descriptions from 1 to 5. The average was 4.3. In fact, the majority of students rated the descriptions as ‘very, very accurate’. But how come?  They all got exactly the same descriptions.

Here are some examples of Forer’s descriptions:

  • You are an independent thinker and need proof from others before you’ll change your mind.
  • You tend to be critical of yourself.
  • You can at times doubt whether you’ve made the right choice.
  • Sometimes you are sociable and extroverted, but at other times you need your space.
  • You need the admiration and respect of other people.
  • Although you may have some weaknesses, you can generally overcome them.
  • You are easily bored and need variety in your life.
  • You are not using your full potential.
  • You may appear to be disciplined and controlled on the outside, but inside, you can worry.
Now, if you read the above, what would you think? Is it an accurate reflection of your personality?

Why we get fooled by Barnum Descriptions?

Why do we get fooled? Why do we believe general descriptions that could apply to anyone? It could be a phenomenon called ‘subjective validation’ or the ‘personal validation effect’.
This is a cognitive bias by which we tend to accept a description or statement if it contains something that is personal to us or is significant to us. So, if a statement resonates powerfully enough, we are more likely to believe it, without checking its validity.
Consider a sitter and a medium. The more invested the sitter is to make contact with their deceased relative, the harder they will try to find meaning in what the medium is saying. They want to find validation and make it personal to them. But that doesn’t mean it’s true.
The next time you find yourself agreeing with something you’ve read, ask yourself, does this apply to me specifically or is it a general description applicable for anyone? Remember, some people use this as a method of deception.
References:
  1. http://psych.fullerton.edu
  2. https://psycnet.apa.org

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

About the Author: Janey Davies.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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publicado por achama às 18:32
Sábado, 25 / 05 / 19

Signs Asperger’s Syndrome Could Be the Next Stage of Human Evolution ~ Janey Davies.

Signs Asperger’s Syndrome Could Be the Next Stage of Human Evolution.

By Janey Davies.

May 24th, 2019.

 

 



 

Asperger’s Syndrome is a disorder characterized by poor social skills – however, some believe there are signs it will contribute to our evolution.
Before I explain why, I’d like to tell you a story. Years ago, I worked for a government office that dealt with sick leave and benefits payments. One of my jobs was to work out when a person could start receiving benefits.

A person would receive 28 weeks of Statutory Sick Pay (SSP) paid by the employer, after which they could start getting benefits. The problem was it was a really tricky date to work out. 28 weeks included weekends and many of us got the start date for benefit wrong.

However, there was one guy in our office who, if you gave him the start date of SSP, could tell you in a nanosecond the exact date 28 weeks later. He never got it wrong. He was also amazing with birth and death dates of kings and queens, battle dates. Actually, come to think of it, any history date.

But, he wasn’t good socially. He didn’t ‘get’ jokes, he had no sense of humour and he struggled in social situations. Now I think about him I realise he probably had the signs of Asperger’s.
What Are the Signs of Asperger’s Syndrome?


So what exactly is Asperger’s Syndrome? Asperger’s is characterized by difficulties in social interactions and trouble in processing nonverbal language. A person with Asperger’s will have problems reading social cuesand find comfort in repeating patterns or behaviours.
Lorna Wing, M.D., was an English psychiatrist who introduced the term ‘Asperger’s Syndrome’. She divided Asperger’s signs into three key areas:
  1. Speech: One-sided conversations, sometimes pedantic, focused on one particular subject of interest to the person with Asperger’s, monotonous intonation, repetitive speech.
  2. Nonverbal communication: Inability to understand facial expressions, a lack of facial expressions themselves, cannot comprehend other’s expressions or gestures.
  3. Social interaction: Does not understand unwritten rules of social behaviour, acts inappropriately, e.g. proximity to others, stares for too long, says the wrong things, wears the wrong clothes, responds in the wrong way. Has a lack of empathy for others. Inability to form friendships or relationships.
For example, my friend’s child gets extremely upset if he does not have his meals served in a particular purple bowl every day. He cannot eat his food if any of it is touching the other food in the bowl and he has to know in advance what he is eating.
But how can being poorly equipped to deal with social situations and insisting on a purple bowl for lunchtimes aid human evolution?

Why Asperger’s Could Be the Next Stage of Human Evolution

Well, it’s all to do with intelligence. As well as having certain impairments, people with Asperger’s show signs of skills in particular areas of intelligence.
For example, they tend to have extremely good memories, which allows them to learn by rote. Their habit of becoming interested in one or two subjects gives this amazing memory full capacity to absorb every minute detail. They become experts in one specialized field.
And this is where it gets interesting. In the past, you would call men like this one thing – geeks. However, nowadays, these so-called ‘geeks’ are responsible for some of the biggest tech companies, social media platforms, and communication industries on the planet.
And the great thing about these men geeks (and they usually are men) is that in today’s society, they get to meet incredibly bright and socially-capable women. These so-called geeks hook up with socially-adept women and produce intelligent but socially-aware offspring.
Just think about the kinds of people we are talking about.

Famous People Who Show Signs of Asperger’s Syndrome

Thomas Jefferson

Founding Father and third president of the United States, Jefferson was a shy man that mumbled and walked around with a mocking bird on his shoulder. However, he did write the Declaration of Independence in one go.
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
Mozart wrote his first symphony at the age of five and went onto write over 600 pieces. Reports of the time state that he was woefully impaired when it came to social interaction. He also had trouble expressing his emotions to others.

Michelangelo

Michelangelo’s incredible concentration makes him a candidate for Asperger’s syndrome. Not only was he obsessive over his work, but he was also completely unable to show emotion. His extraordinary memory allowed him to retain sketches for the Sistine Chapel.
“Michelangelo was aloof and a loner. Like the architect John Nash (1752-1835), who also had high-functioning autism, he had few friends.” Dr Arshad and Prof Fitzgerald

Albert Einstein

What sort of brain do you need to work out the theory of relativity? Einstein is considered to be one of the greatest scientists of all time, but he did show signs of Asperger’s.
He had trouble recognising social cues but was able to narrowly focus his attention to solve one of our greatest scientific mysteries.

Charles Darwin

Darwin’s fascination with insects, shells and categorizing indicates he had Asperger’s. The man responsible for changing the way we view evolution was prone to bouts of solitude and obsessed with nature.

Sir Isaac Newton

Newton may have developed the theory of gravity but by all accounts, he was a vindictive, unforgiving, calculating, quick-tempered and petty man. All signs of Asperger’s.

Woody Allen

Woody Allen makes neurotic films and has admitted to sharing neurotic traitshimself:
“I am a neurotic in a more benign way. I mean I have a lot of neurotic habits. I don’t like to go into elevators, I don’t go through tunnels, I like the drain in the shower to be in the corner and not in the middle.”

Tim Burton

The famed film director Tim Burton was watching a documentary about autismand said to his long-term partner Helena Bonham-Carter that was how he felt as a child.

Chris Packham

Chris Packham is a British naturalist who has a remarkable breadth of knowledge on the natural world and wildlife. Despite having Asperger’s, he has carved out a successful career on TV.

Mark Zuckerberg

The founder of Facebook has been described as a ‘robot’, he wears the same ‘uniform’ of a grey t-shirt and jeans every day so he doesn’t have to worry about what to wear. However, his company is worth around $230 billion.

So why is it that someone with signs of Asperger’s is likely to do well?

What is it about this condition that makes a person so successful? There’s the intelligence side of it, of course, but also, some experts now believe it is the actual lack of social skills that is a contributing factor.
Think about it for a moment. You have an idea that you think will make millions, but in your normal everyday life, you feel constricted by societal rulesand unspoken boundaries. You don’t want to speak out for fear of ridicule, or people thinking you are over-reaching or narcissistic.
But the person who has Asperger’s has none of these boundariesThey don’t follow society’s rules. They are not even aware of them. As a result, they just go right ahead, pitch their ideas and get on with the job.
Tech investor Peter Thiel believes we could all benefit from a little touch of Asperger’s.
“We need to ask what is it about our society where those of us who do not suffer from Asperger’s are at some massive disadvantage because we will be talked out of our interesting, original, creative ideas before they’re even fully formed.”
My final point is that these days, we are all spending more time on our smartphones, our computers, laptops, and in the artificial world. As such, our social interaction is gradually being reduced.
Therefore, being able to connect socially might not be such a big deal in the decades to come anyway. Perhaps it’s time for those with signs of Asperger’s to shine.
References:
  1. https://www.forbes.com
  2. https://medium.com
  3. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
 
 

 

 

 

About the Author: Janey Davies.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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publicado por achama às 05:46
Quinta-feira, 23 / 05 / 19

Personality Color: What Your Favorite Color Reveals about Your Personality ~ Janey Davies.

Personality Color: 

What Your Favorite Color Reveals about Your Personality.

By Janey Davies.

May 22nd, 2019.

 

 



 

Do you have a favorite color? Do you realize that color can reveal aspects of your personality?
Take a look at your wardrobe. Is it full of one particular color? Do you gravitate to one or two colors and never wear certain shades?
Colors have a strong psychological effect on our minds and can influence those around us. But what can your favorite color tell you about your personality? If you have a preference for one particular color, then you might be revealing more than you know:

Personality and Color

RED

Red symbolizes the blood, the very essence of life. As such, if you love the color red, you are optimistic, you love life and live it to the full. You are ambitious, intense, strong-willed and energetic.
You can be competitive and will work hard to reach your goals. You love to be the center of attention and are the alphas of this world. Those that love the color red like to lead from the front. However, you can be dogged and aggressive in your pursuits.

ORANGE

Orange is a very social color but one associated with youth. You could say that this color is a free spirit that is also the life and soul of the party.
You love to bring people together, but taking responsibility is not your forte. You’d rather leave that to the grown-ups. You are gregarious and don’t have a bad bone in you. Non-judgemental, you like people until they give you a reason not to.

YELLOW

Yellow is the color of sunshine and suggests optimism and warmth. People who like this color are also critical thinkers. This is because the logical left side of the brain responds to the color yellow.
As a result, if you love yellow, you will also be good at solving problems. The color yellow is all about knowledge and learning. But not only gathering new information but being able to communicate this information onto others.
You are an independent person that tends to have a few very close friends.

PINK

Pink is the color of romance. Just think of Marilyn Monroe in that scene ‘Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend’ when she wore that stunning pink dress.
Pink is a genuinely feminine color and represents the feminine aspects of one’s personality. It is gentle and innocent and those that favor it seek affection, love, acceptance and kindness.
It has a childlike quality to it which indicates a need for protection. This color represents the true romantics who believe in unconditional and uncomplicated love.

PURPLE

The color purple is associated with spirituality, wealth and royalty, but if it is your favorite color, it is an indication of creativity. You are a unique individual that dances to the beat of your own drum.
You are unconventional and don’t care what others think. You can be highly opinionated and believe in the welfare of others.
Often those who like this color are involved in humanitarian causes because it is associated with a more mature personality and a higher spiritual understanding. However, be careful not to come across as holier than thou.

BLUE

There’s a reason why uniforms are often in blue and that is because blue is a harmonious color associated with tradition and order. If you like this color, then you prefer stability and organized life. You don’t like surprises and tend to plan things in advance.
You also have strong principles that are unlikely to change throughout your life. You live a conservative lifestyle and like things to be neat and tidy. You are not the rebels in society, you are more likely to be those upholding the law, rather than breaking it.

GREEN

Green is the color of nature and if is your favorite color, then you are unlikely to live in the middle of the city. You need space around you. You value your friends and family as love is important to you.
You are loyal. Once you have made a friend, you will have them for life. Green signifies growth, life, balance and energy.
You are able to see the bigger picture and balance your life between work and leisure, family and friends. You are fair and just and as a result, people come to you for advice.

BROWN

This is a dependable color that is reliable and down-to-earth. If you have a friend that wears a lot of brown, then they are supportive and won’t let you down. They are serious and you can depend on them. Browns like the simple life and are not extravagant.

BLACK

Many people choose black as their ‘go to’ color as it is fairly neutral. But if it is your favorite color, then it means different things. In younger people, it is a sign of rebellion.
For older women, it shows a level of sophistication. Some people wear black to hide when they don’t want to be noticed. It is also considered to be a sexual color.

WHITE

White is a difficult color to wear. As such, those who do prefer it tend to like an organized life, devoid of clutter and mess. They have high standards and won’t compromise. They are also confident in their abilities. When you wear white you cannot hide any imperfections.

GREY

This is a neutral color that indicates a practical person who can compromise. Typically, those who like grey are hard workers who are conservative in their outlook. However, at times they can lack energy and confidence.
What’s your favorite color? Do you agree with the personality colors?
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://www.huffpost.com
 

 

 

 

About the Author: Janey Davies.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
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publicado por achama às 17:55
Quinta-feira, 16 / 05 / 19

4 Ways Social Conditioning Secretly Affects Your Behaviors and Decisions ~ Janey Davies.

4 Ways Social Conditioning Secretly Affects Your Behaviors and Decisions.

By Janey Davies.

May 15th, 2019.

 
 
 
 
 

 



 

We all like to think we have free will and make our own decisions in life, but in actual fact, we are programmed at an early age by social conditioning.
Social conditioning is a set of rules and behavior dictated to us by society. It’s very easy to see how we as individuals can be conditioned in this way.
No one wants to stand out when they are younger. We all want to fit in. If you are different, you are bullied, ridiculed and ostracised from popular groups.
We soon learn to fall in line with whatever everyone is doing, saying, wearing, wanting, even believing. So how does it start and who conditions us?
“The things you read will fashion you by slowly conditioning your mind.” A.W. Tozer
The thing is, this kind of conditioning begins as soon as we are born. Parents immediately reinforce gender differences. Parents tell girls to behave in a quiet and polite manner and boys must not cry.
Teachers take on the baton and steer boys towards scientific subjects such as maths and physics. On the other hand, girls are pushed to creative topics. Our newly qualified graduates head out into the workplace.
Adverts bombard them with messages on what to wear, what to look like and who they should like. This constant drip-feeding of nudging and reinforcing the right responses actually affects our behavior without us really knowing.

Examples of conditioning by society:

  • Models have to be thin in the fashion industry.
  • Pink for a girl, blue for a boy.
  • Nurses are female.
  • Money buys you happiness.
  • We have to get our protein from meat.

So how does social conditioning affect our behavior?

Language

Language instantly jolts our unconscious mind. For instance, what do you immediately think of when you read the word immigrants?
For some people, their initial thoughts might center on closing the borders, the country is full up, a lack of resources, or there’s too many of them for us to cope with.
For others, the word immigrants may suggest qualified doctors and nurses, ex-pats living abroad, EU nationals, foreign students, or NHS workers.
Depending on the type of media you watch or read will color your view of immigrants. For example, typically, right-wing media depicts most immigrants in a negative light.

People

The homeless; responsible for their own fate or in need of help from society? Some people have very strong ideas about how you can end up living on the streets. They think that it would never happen to them and, therefore, it must be the fault of the homeless person.
How did they come up with that belief? Were their parents particularly critical of homeless people? Statistically, we are all three pay cheques away from losing our homes and ending up with nowhere to live. It could happen to many of us, so why do some believe it is purely down to the individual and not the situation?
Society has been telling us for decades that hard work and effort are all we need to succeed in life. So it’s easy for us to blame the person rather than the longstanding message that everyone else believes and follows.

Religion

You cannot mention conditioning of any kind, social or otherwise, without talking about religion. I’m guessing that whatever religion you belong to or believe in as an adult, you learned about it when you were a child.
When we are children, we believe what our parents and teachers tell us. Because we are so young when this information is first absorbed, it is extremely difficult to dismiss it as incorrect when we are older.
You see similar examples with the retelling of major war battles in history lessons. Countries will favor their side of the story when it comes to educating children on the exploits of battle outcomes and actions of generals, even prime ministers.
Whole nations are outraged decades later when their respected war heroes are then revealed to be less than perfect.

Social Media

Does the life you present on social media have any resemblance to the life you actually lead? The selfies you have carefully crafted, spending hours choosing just the right one that shows you at your best.
Or deliberating over a post that isn’t too self-righteous but shows how devastated you are over the latest world tragedy (after all, it does affect you personally).
We are conditioned now to look our best, say the right things and at least appear to be loving life like never before. However, in reality, more and more men are committing suicide, teenagers are being bullied to death and children as young as 6 are worried they are too fat.
Social media is a portal into our lives, but we are faking this insight because the life we are leading doesn’t live up to social expectations.

So what can you do to break free from conditioning?

  • Don’t be afraid to question or confront people about their behavior.
  • If you see something you don’t agree with – say so.
  • Don’t surround yourself with like-minded people. You’ll only reinforce your own views.
  • Watch media from different sources. If you only ever read one newspaper, switch to another.
  • Do your own thing! Live by your own rules. So what if you don’t earn a lot of money? Do what makes you happy!
  • Finally, recognize when your behaviors or beliefs are a result of social conditioning and work to change them.
As the Indian teacher of meditation S. N. Goenka advises:
“Removing old conditionings from the mind and training the mind to be more equaimous with every experience is the first step toward enabling one to experience true happiness.”
References:
  1. https://www.academia.edu

 

 

About the Author: Janey Davies.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 08:23
Quarta-feira, 15 / 05 / 19

6 Types of People Who Love Playing the Victim and How to Deal with Them ~ Sherrie.

6 Types of People Who Love Playing the Victim and How to Deal with Them.

By Sherrie.

May 14th, 2019

 

Dealing with those who are playing the victim can be exhausting. Who exactly are these people?
It’s hard to talk about the victim mentality because many people have no idea they’re adopting it. It can be upsetting when they learn this truth.
Don’t know what it means to play the victim? Well, that’s because so many character flaws and toxic behaviors like this are seen as normal. The fact is, being a victim and having a victim mentality isn’t the same.

Who is playing the victim game?

Playing games with people’s lives is a manipulative act. People play roles in order to get what they want, or simply because of their upbringing. They may be stuck in a negative pattern due to childhood abuse, neglect, or trauma.
Here are a few types of people who tend to use the victim mentality:

1. The selfish

Those who act in a selfish manner will use the victim strategy. Sadly, when it comes to choosing others over themselves, playing the role of the victim will remove guilt when being selfish instead.
It will also make others feel sorry for them and give in to their wants and demands. Selfless people, on the other hand, try not to use the victim mentality in order to help others without putting the spotlight on their own needs. It’s just a different mindset altogether.

2. Controlling individuals

Some people absolutely must be in control no matter what’s happening in their lives. They use pity to make sure things go their way. They want to control the outcome of their lives and the people in it as well.
If they cannot control others in any other way, they will turn to playing games and playing the victim.

3. Parasitic people

Sometimes people like this understand what they are doing, and sometimes they do not. You can become a parasitic person when you’re trying to build your self-esteem off others who feel more confident.
Being the victim allows you to feed off the compliments of others which ultimately drains them. You see, when you’re a victim, you will never get enough of praise and support. You could have been a real victim in the past, and now you’re stuck in this mentality.

4. Those afraid of anger

I’ve noticed many people using the victim game because of the inability to properly deal with their anger. In some cases, they are afraid of the consequences of their anger, or maybe they’ve experienced situations where they’ve lost control, and they hate the feeling.
Either way, the victim mentality eventually replaces the ability to have healthy angry feelings and hinders the proper processing of these feelings and emotions.
Remember, it’s okay to feel anger, it’s just not okay to misuse this feeling. It’s even worse to become a perpetual victim.

5. The mentally ill

People who suffer from mental illness will often play the victim. Yes, and I have done this too. Most of the time, it’s due to feeling overwhelmed by the symptoms of the illness.
With bipolar disorder, for example, the victim mentality may come after a severe bout of mania due to the refusal to take medication. Instead of accepting the fault of not taking their medication, they may play the victim to keep from accepting responsibility for the negative actions from their illness.
No, we should never be too hard on the mentally ill, but everyone has to take a certain amount of responsibility at some point, especially when that person understands what to do.

6. Trauma survivors

While it is completely normal to feel victimized after trauma, it’s not normal to hold onto being a victim forever. You must remind yourself, or remind your loved ones, that enduring traumaand healing makes you a survivor and no longer a victim.
This, like the case of mental illness, is a sensitive topic, so tread lightly when trying to help others. Also, be kind to yourself, if this is you, but also keep trying to restructure and rebuild your life.

Dealing with the victim mentality

If you’re the one playing the role of victim, you must look within. What are your inner voices saying to you? Are you telling yourself that life isn’t fair to you? If so, there are probably other statements you’re using to justify your behavior.
You have to stop the negative voices. I know how hard this can be, but you can take one small step at a time. Practice turning those statements around into powerful assertions which help build your self-esteem. You don’t have to play the victim in order to solve a problem. It just seems like the easier way out.
If the one who is stuck in playing these patterns is your loved one or friend, then helping them transform their inner dialogue will help a bit.
You must understand, however, that changing thought patterns and inner statements will have to be done by the one who thinks these things. So, have patience if you’re willing to help.
Stand firm. Let your friends and loved ones know that you will not be taken for granted by victimizing behavior. While it’s okay to help people heal, it’s not okay to destroy yourself in the process.
I hope this has helped you understand what playing the role of victim means and who does this. Now, that you know, you can tackle this situation properly and take back control of your own life. I wish you well in your endeavors to be a better person and help others do the same.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://www.lifehack.org

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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Discernment is recommended.

 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 07:47
Segunda-feira, 13 / 05 / 19

7 Signs You Could Be Living a Lie without Even Knowing It ~ Sherrie.

7 Signs You Could Be Living a Lie without Even Knowing It.

By Sherrie.

May 12th, 2019

 

Could you actually be living a lie? It’s possible that society’s expectations have forced you to be something you’re not and living a fake life.
I’ve been living a lie. Yes, me. In fact, on many separate occasions, I have lived different lies. Eventually, I’ve pulled myself free and thoroughly cleansed all the crusty fakeness away for a while.
But, for some reason, it slowly grows back, gradually accumulating around my personality and changing me into something I no longer recognize. It can really be this serious, you guys. I think it’s a daily struggle, really.

So, what is living in a lie?

To live a fake life, or lie is to act or do things you really wouldn’t do. These are things that often make you feel uncomfortable or portray yourself in a disguise. Those who “wear masks” are examples of people who live lies. Let me give you an example.
So, I hate going on “girls’ night out” things. You know what I mean. Well, when I was living a lie, I forced myself to do this a time or two. Unfortunately, the situation was so uncomfortable that I secretly hated being there, so bad, that I grew nauseated.
I was living a lie, but no one knew how sick I felt by trying so hard. Uggh. Thank goodness, I hated living this particular lie.

Are you living a false life?

So, maybe this is about as clear as mud to some of you, so I will provide a few signs. These are signs that you might be living a life that’s not your own.
Maybe it’s so subtle that you never realized it before. Well, now’s the time to crack the code and do some spring cleaning within your character. There’s no need to live a lie. Read on.

1. You do what society wants

If you’re living a false life, you will always be concerned about what society wants. What you want out of life will take the backseat to what’s popular, what’s trendy, and the all the rest of the peer pressure.
You must fit in, or even rise above, and society must know this. You give society what it wants and then some.

2. You have a fan club

There are good friends, then there are associates. Then, there are what I like to call, “the fan club”. The fan club is the group of people who praise you for your deeds and looks on a regular basis.
This group of people usually keep an eye on you and expect a certain amount of good deeds, new possessions, or new plans to always be rotating. The fan club needs something to adore and you give it to them on a regular basis, sometimes ignoring your own real needs and the needs of your loved ones.

3. Following through, no matter what

Yes, it’s great to follow through on plans and choices. I get it. But, when it comes to realizing you’ve made the wrong choice if you’re living a lie, you will follow through anyway, despite the consequences.
The healthy choice would be to follow through as long as the focus is the same. If not, then it’s okay to change your mind. Those living in a lie believe others see changing your mind as a weakness. Know the difference and you will understand this sign.

4. Practicing facial expressions and laughs

One of the most noticeable signs that you could be living life in a lie is your habit of rehearsing facial expressions, laughs and even speeches.
Instead of just being your authentic self and winging it, you must be prepared and offer the world your best rendition of you. Did you get that? A rendition, not the real you, this is what you will present to the world, thus fake.

5. You will be sad

One sign that you’re not living the true life is your predisposition to sadness. You will be sad quite a bit, but you will try to hide this sadness because it’s not part of the façade you’ve created.
But, since you’re not really happy about the life you’ve created, you will remain sad anyway. Most people who fit into your plan will not notice the sadness, but the ones closest to you, in reality, will notice.
Keep this in mind. If you know someone who is sad or depressed quite a bit, try to figure out if they are indeed lying to themselves about their life.

6. You’re bored…always

When you’re not living your best life, you will always be bored. Nothing will be fulfilling because you’re usually doing things others like to do instead of what you really love.
Things like hanging out with friends constantly, vying for attention or talking on the phone/texting/emailing constantly – all are signs of terrible boredom. They are also signs that you’re living a lie.

7. Loss of identity

Who are you? If you cannot answer this question without mentioning others, then you have no idea of your own identity or worth. This means you have been living a life that’s not really your own.
This will only be noticeable when having deep discussions with some of the few genuine people that remain in your life. If you’re being questioned about your identity, just pay attention and learn what you can about your true predicament.

Living a lie is never a good thing

No matter how easy it may seem, or how pre-made this life may feel, it’s not the life for you – not the fake one. I believe if there were more genuine people in the world, the world, in general, would be a much better place.
If you are living a lie or you know someone who is playing it fake like this, don’t be afraid to improve. Being the real you is the only you that’s supposed to be.
Think about it!
References:
  1. https://www.theguardian.com
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 

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Archives:

 

 
 



Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.

 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


More @ http://violetflame.biz.ly and 
https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/




 

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publicado por achama às 04:13
Sábado, 11 / 05 / 19

8 CBT Techniques for Anxiety That Will Calm Your Anxious Mind

8 CBT Techniques for Anxiety That Will Calm Your Anxious Mind.

By Janey Davies.

May 10th, 2019.

 
 
 
 
 

 


 

If you’re reading this, it stands to reason that you are feeling anxious and are looking for tools such as CBT techniques to calm your anxiety.
 
 
Anxiety is a particularly devious beast.
 
 
It’s there for a reason, to give us the necessary fight or flight tools we need to survive. But if it gets out of control, it can restrict our lives and cause us more harm than good.
 
 
The problem with anxiety is that it easily escalates. Fear breeds fear. The more we worry something bad will happen, the more we convince ourselves it is likely to happen. We have set ourselves up to fail before we’ve even started.
 
We might start avoiding certain situations. However, although we may feel immediate relief by avoidance, we never learn that whatever we are afraid of isn’t actually that bad.
 
But you know what? When you are in the grip of a phobia, stuck in a repeating cycle of OCD, or suffering from social anxiety, it’s hard to be rational. And this is where cognitive behavioural therapy or CBT techniquescan help, no matter what type of anxiety you are experiencing.
 
 
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt
 
FDR was right on the money about fear, but how can CBT techniques help us when we are crippled by anxiety?
8 CBT techniques for anxiety that will calm an anxious mind:
Our thoughts make us anxious
 
 
 
The first thing to recognise about anxiety is that external factors are not making you anxious, your internal thoughts are. And if your inner thoughts are causing the problem, you can change the way you think about the situation.
 
Of course, this isn’t easy. We trust our brains to deliver the right information quickly so we can go about our business. So it can be hard to realise that our thoughts are giving us the wrong messages.
 
The first step in CBT therapy is understanding how our thoughts are responsible for the way we feel. There is nothing in everyday normal life to feel anxious about. The only thing that is making you anxious is you. But, you can change that.
Thoughts can’t hurt you
 
 
 
You’re having a panic attack and you feel as you’re going to die. In a social situation, a person with social anxiety might think they’re going to collapse. Someone with OCD might feel so stressed about checking or counting they feel physically sick.
 
 
How do we get to such extreme physical symptoms from a single thought? Because we’ve programmed ourselves to have an automatic reaction to the stressful situation. Our thoughts tumble out of our minds with no chance of stopping and escalate into a full-blown panic attack.
 
But think – thoughts cannot hurt you. Look around you now. Focus on a book or a lamp and say to yourself “Oh my God if I look at that book, I’ll faint.” No amount of you thinking it will make it happen.
 
The next time you feel anxious, remember: just because you think it, it doesn’t mean you can make it happen.
Don’t set yourself up to fail
 
 
 
What’s the difference between a person with driving phobia and someone who drives without anxiety? The person who drives normally doesn’t think about driving before they set off.
 
Someone with the driving phobia will already be worrying about the journey, what will happen, what could go wrong, will they get lost, have an accident, or will they have a panic attack?
 
 
Now think about the driver who didn’t have anxiety. What do you think would happen if he or she started thinking the same thoughts as the anxious driver?
 
The chances are that the once confident driver could now start to feel a little anxious about driving. But the roads haven’t changed, nor has the car they are driving. Only their thoughts. Don’t forget, your thoughts are responsible, not external factors.
 
 
Be rational and logical
 
 
Time to think like Spock. When you are in a stressful situation, your mind starts racing and is out of control. The best way to stop this is to take a step back and think rationally. It helps if you look at the situation from another perspective or another person’s point of view.
 
Let’s take that driving example again. For every worrying thought that crops up, look at it in a rational manner as if you were talking to a friend.
 
What if you did get lost? Do you have a sat nav or a map? What if you do break down? Do you have breakdown cover? Identify what you feel is dangerous about the situation and look at it calmly and rationally.
 
 
Ask yourself ‘What’s the worst that could happen?’
 
 
What for you is the worst thing that could happen? If you get anxious during interviews, what do you fear the most?
 
Not being able to answer a question? Do you feel trapped in a social situation that you can’t escape from? Are you worried you’ll have a panic attack on an aeroplane?
 
 
Identify your worst fear and then examine it logically. No one has died from a panic attack. Panic attacks end. Yes, they are extremely horrible, but you are safe, you are not in danger.
 
Talk to yourself and reassure yourself about the thing you are most afraid of. By analysing them in a logical way, you take their power away.
 
 
Start taking small steps
 
 
So, you know that your thoughts are making you anxious and that they cannot hurt you. The next way to beat your anxiety with CBT techniques is to start taking small steps that will build up your confidence in the situation you find stressful.
 
The best way to tackle this is to make a ladder with the small steps at the bottom that cause you some anxiety but you can do, and goals at the top that cause you extreme anxiety and you cannot do.
 
The way to work through the ladder is to start at the bottom and go through each step until you are bored with it. Only then do you move onto the next step. Most importantly, reward yourself after each step to reinforce a positive emotion with your success.
 
 
Be patient and kind to yourself
 
 
If you have suffered from a phobia or anxiety for years or decades, remember that these CBT techniques won’t work overnight. Your brain has been programmed to feel anxiety.
 
You have learned over the years that a certain situation is dangerous. Now your brain has to unlearn all the lessons you gave it. This takes time, patience and endurance.
 
 
Remember, you may have setbacks as well as good weeks. Don’t expect your progress to be without a few bumps here and there. But reward any small victories and don’t downplay your successes.
 
Remember, what’s easy for some is really hard for you. It is also very easy to slip into a ‘Why me?’ way of thinking but this doesn’t help in the long run. Of course, lots of people have got it easier than you, but equally, a lot more have it much harder.
 
 
 
If all else fails, act normal
 
 
It helps to remember that anxiety is a natural response to stress. As a result, adrenalin rushes through our bodies preparing us to fight or flight. Blood is drawn away from areas such as the stomach (we don’t need to digest food in an emergency situation) and directed to the legs and arms for running or fighting.
 
One way to train our brains that anxiety is an incorrect response is to do something that lets the brain know adrenalin is not required.
 
For example, I remember being in the middle of a panic attack and my friend said something ridiculous which made me laugh. All the anxiety dissipated because my laughter informed my brain there was nothing to be afraid of.
 
It is hard to stop being frightened, but try having open body posture, smiling, talking calmly, and breathing slowly. Even chewing a piece of gum will help as it redirects blood back to the stomach.
 
Being in the grip of an anxious episode is extremely frightening. However, remember that you are in control of your thoughts, and by using these CBT techniques, it is possible to calm your anxiety.
 
 

 

About the Author: Janey Davies.

Janey Davies has been published online for over 8 years. She is the head writer for Shoppersbase.com, she also writes for AvecAgnes.co.uk, Ewawigs.com and has contributed to inside3DP.com. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science and politics. When she is relaxing she likes to walk her dog, read science fiction and listen to Muse.
 
COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 
 
 



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Discernment is recommended.

 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


More @ http://violetflame.biz.ly and 
https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/




 

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publicado por achama às 08:24
A Luz está a revelar a Verdade, e esta libertar-nos-á! -Só é real o AMOR Incondicional. -Quando o Amor superar o amor pelo poder, o mundo conhecerá a Paz; Jimi Hendrix. -Somos almas a ter uma experiência humana!

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