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Sábado, 13 / 07 / 19

How to Create Your Own Full Moon Ritual (With 5 Suggestions) ~ Aletheia Luna.

How to Create Your Own Full Moon Ritual (With 5 Suggestions).

By Aletheia Luna.

Guest writer for Wake Up World

July 12, 2019  

 

 



Originally published at lonerwolf.com and reproduced here with permission.
Since ancient times, the moon has come to symbolically embody the realm of the subconscious, emotions, intuition, and the cycles of life and death.
You don’t necessarily need to identify as a pagan or practice other earth-centered spiritual paths to benefit from the power of full moon rituals.
When viewed through a symbolic, psychospiritual, archetypal, or even purely energetic lens, the moon is a very real presence in our lives that can help orient us on the spiritual path. No matter where you live in the world, the moon is an omnipresent force in your life. Why not use it in your spiritual practice?
There are numerous instructions out there for creating a full moon ritual – but the main problem with using someone else’s instructions is that they don’t have the same ‘oomph’ or impact as the rituals you create yourself. While there’s nothing wrong with following a full moon ritual another person has detailed (especially if you’re lacking ideas), I do recommend trying to craft one of your own. Then, compare the two and see which you benefit the most from. In other words, don’t take my word for it – try it out yourself!
But first, let’s get down to basics …

What is a Full Moon Ritual?

A full moon ritual is essentially an intentional ceremony or symbolic action you take on the night of a full moon. Full moon rituals are created in order to imbue your life with the symbolic and energetic qualities of the full moon – these include the elements of power, amplification, action, and an increase in subconscious activity which produces enhanced intuition and insight.

The Symbolic Meaning of the Full Moon

In order to create a dynamic full moon ritual that deeply resonates with your unconscious mind, you’ll need to learn about the symbolism of the full moon.
The full moon has been spoken and written about for millennia across many cultures. The Chinese, for example, associate the full moon with the essence of yin (female energy). Buddhists, on the other hand, see the full moon as symbolizing spiritual power (as Buddha supposedly gained his enlightenment on a night of the full moon) and many sacred festivals are held during the full moon.
In secular folklore, the full moon has been associated with lunacy (madness), insomnia, and psychological disturbances – hence the term “lunatic” (which derives from the Latin word ‘lunaticus’ which means moon-struck).
In astrology, the full moon is a peak of energy that highlights opposing polarities and forces in your life. It is also a time of harvest (or reaping what you have sown).
In paganism, the full moon is a time where one’s psychic energy increases, and powerful intentions, spells, and rituals can be practiced. The full moon also represents the mother aspect of the divine feminine.
When we boil down the symbolic meaning of the full moon, however, the themes of amplification, subconscious power, and illumination continually arise. So these are the meanings subscribed to within this article.

Why Should I Bother Creating a Full Moon Ritual?

This is a fair question, and my answer is that if you genuinely don’t feel called to do a full moon ritual, don’t! The world isn’t going to end. Your life isn’t going to blow up. Creating a full moon ritual is simply one of many empowering practices you can add to your spiritual toolkit and it’s not necessarily for everyone.
With that being said, I do feel that it’s important to experiment with a full moon ritual at least once. Who knows what potentially life-changing and paradigm shifting benefits you may receive from this practice?
The most important thing you need to know about the power of the full moon ritual is that it utilizes four essential elements of any transformative spiritual practice: willpower, intention, symbolism, and ritual. These four elements have a truly electric and intense impact on the unconscious mind. The whole point of a full moon ritual is to generate deep change within the nether regions of your mind, aka. your unconscious.
As you may or may not have gathered so far (from previous articles on this website), the unconscious mind is the realm of potential, the space in which your soul emerges, and the doorway to Spirit (or the Collective Unconscious). By doing a full moon ritual, you are stepping into your personal power and actively petitioning and preparing your unconscious mind for transformation. In other words, there is so much more to full moon rituals than pretty candles or crystals – it’s ultimate purpose is genuine psychospiritual change.

How to Keep Track of the Full Moon?

If you’re like most people, you will be pretty out-of-touch with the moon cycles. You might occasionally glance up at the sky but not give much thought to the phase of the moon and its significance.
Thankfully, you don’t have to be an avid goggly-eyed sky-gazer to track the position of the moon thanks to this wonderful thing called the internet.
There are many websites out there (particularly those to do with astrology, witchcraft, and paganism) which keep a tracker of the current moon phase. You can purchase a yearly moon phase calendar from places like Amazon and hang it up in your house. There are also many interesting phone apps out there that track the moon phases such as Simple Moon Phase Calendar, My Moon Phase, Phases of the Moon,etc.
Just keep in mind that if you live in the southern hemisphere, you will need to find a calendar, website or app that accurately records the phases of the moon according to your country as most moon phase resources are created by northern hemispherians.

How to Create Your Own Authentic Full Moon Ritual

The best thing about making your own 100% tailored-to-you full moon ritual is that it works around your needs, daily schedule, interests, and the current objects you have on hand.
You don’t need to go out and buy a load of metaphysical paraphernalia to enact a powerful full moon ritual nor do you need to make it Instagram-worthy. In fact, I encourage you to try and leave social media out of your full moon ritual altogether as it will dilute your focus and intent.
You also don’t need to make your full moon ritual overly flowery, poetic, long, multi-layered, or esoteric – unless of course that works for you.
Essentially, there are no rules, only suggestions. Don’t feel pressured to make your rituals look like those you see in books, online, or among your friends. Your rituals have YOUR style and essence, so don’t feel the need to make them look or feel like anyone else’s.
Now that we’ve gone through these precautions, here are some tips that will help you create your own authentic full moon ritual:

1. Find out when the next full moon is

Check your moon app, your calendar or even the local weather website (which usually lists what phase the moon currently is in). The full moon occurs on average once every 29.5 days, so you’ll experience it about once a month.

2. Think about what you would like amplified or illuminated within you

What are you struggling with at the moment? What shadows need to come to light? What archetypes would you like to embody? What do you need to let go of? What skills or inner resources do you need to draw on? Reflect on these questions or journal about them.

3. Shape your intention

Once you have completed the previous step (which hopefully won’t take too long), it’s time to set an intention which basically means a goal or objective. What do you want to achieve? What will be the purpose of your full moon ritual? Write out your full moon intention in your journal or a piece of paper that you can store in your sacred space/altar.

4. Prepare some symbolic objects

Whether on the day/night of the full moon or beforehand, select some symbolic objects that could represent your issue, desire, yourself as a whole, your current place in life, what you need to let go of, your strengths, weaknesses, what needs to be illuminated … you get the picture. Basically, choose any object currently in your house that represents the part of you or your situation that needs to be amplified or illuminated. Examples of symbolic objects could include rocks, feathers, flowers, dolls, crystals, cards, figurines, herbs, stamps, old jewelry – literally anything that you feel represents your issue or desire accurately.

5. Create a sacred space

On the day/night of the full moon, dedicate a space specifically to your ritual that is undisturbed. You may already have an altar somewhere in your house, and if so, that is perfect. If you don’t have an altar or sacred space, you can set up a temporary one on a window sill, balcony, or even the corner of your bedroom, kitchen or bathroom. You can choose to ‘cleanse’ this space of energetic debris by clapping your hands, using a smudge stick, singing bowl, visualizing a purified circle around you, or anything that speaks to you. Whatever the case, it’s important that your unconscious mind symbolically registers that the space you’re preparing is sacred and important.

6. Perform your full moon ritual

You don’t need to spend hours doing an elaborate ritual. Even just a couple of minutes can be enough to create and evoke a strong message within your unconscious.
With your symbolic objects at hand, arrange them in a way that feels powerful to you. You could arrange them according to your desires, e.g. you could place two symbolic objects together symbolizing a unison. You could arrange your objects according to a symbol, e.g. a circle representing wholeness or completing. You could burn one of the objects or submerge it in a bowl of water representing letting go. You could place an object on your body and symbolically ‘breathe’ it in. You could consume one of the objects (if it’s edible and non-toxic) to symbolize empowerment, strength, and renewal. The sky is the limit.
I recommend listening to your instincts and doing what feels the most significant to you. Feel free to be totally unconventional, this is your ritual after all.

7. Symbolically close your ritual

No matter how you choose to design your ritual, always symbolically close/end it. Your unconscious mind needs to understand that the ritual is over (think of closing your ritual as hitting the “send” button). Leaving the ritual open without intentionally closing it sends confusing signals to your unconscious mind. Closing your ritual is simple. Once again, close it however you intuitively feel is the right way. Examples may include ringing a bell, saying a prayer of thanks, visualizing an “X,” saying a phrase like “so may it be,” and so forth.
As you see, there are no concrete rules here, only a basic structure that you may wish to follow if it suits you.

5 Full Moon Rituals (For Inspiration)

I understand that creating a full moon ritual can seem daunting or confusing at first. So I’ll provide a few simple examples below that you’re free to use or treat as a springboard for your own designs:

Ritual #1 – Power Words

What you will need:
  • mantra or affirmation of your creation
  • A candle
  • A lighter
  • Access to outdoors
Formulate an healing, enriching or empowering affirmation (e.g. “I open my heart a little more each day,” “I am brave, capable, and strong,” “I love my body as it is” etc.). On the night of the full moon, go outside, bring a candle and lighter, and sit down somewhere comfortable and safe. Light the candle to begin the ritual. Then repeat your power words out loud (or in your head) ten times. Ten is the number of completion. As you repeat your power words, look up at the moon and allow its luminescence to amplify your words. When you are done, blow out the candle.

Ritual #2 – Candle Flame Release

What you will need:
  • A pen
  • A piece of paper
  • Matches or a lighter
  • A fireproof container, bowl or cauldron
On the night of the full moon write down an aspect of yourself or your life that you need to surrender on a piece of paper. For example, you might write “I let go of my shame,” “I let go of my perfectionism,” “I let go of the friends that do not support my highest good,” “I let go of my past,” “I let go of my self-destructive tendencies,” etc.
Prepare a fireproof bowl, container or cauldron and place it in your sacred space. Open your full moon ritual by visualizing the light of the moon encircling you. When you are ready, begin to burn your piece of paper over your fireproof container. Watch as the paper curls up into ash. You may like to say within your mind or out loud “I release this, so may it be,” or simply “goodbye.” When the paper has turned completely to ash, go outside and scatter the ash to the wind. Alternatively, you can bury the ash. When you are finished, say within or out loud “it is done.”
(Note: if you are burning paper indoors, please ensure you practice caution and common-sense.)

Ritual #3 – Moon Bath

What you will need:
  • An object that symbolizes you
  • An object that symbolizes your intention
  • A dish or plate
This full moon ritual is good if you want to empower yourself in some way. What you will need are two basic objects – one that represents you and one that represents your intention. For example, you might choose a strand of hair from your hairbrush, a photo of yourself, a piece of your jewelry or anything that represents you in some way for your first item.
For your second item, choose an object that symbolizes your goal, desire or intention. For instance, you might choose a certain gemstone (e.g. rose quartz for self-love, hematite for grounding, lapis lazuli for authenticity), a picture you have found in a magazine, even a piece of cutlery (like a knife if you want to have a sharper mind). If you can’t find a symbolic object in your house, write down your intention on a piece of paper.
On the night of the full moon, place both of your objects on a dish. Put the object that represents you on the left and the object that represents your intention on the right. (Left is symbolically a passive position and right is symbolically an active position – so your intention will ideally be placed on the right side of the dish facing you.) Go outside and put your dish in a place where the moon’s light touches the earth. You can skip this part if you like and simply place your dish in a part of your house where the moon’s light spills through the window. As you place the dish in the moonlight say, “may the moon amplify [insert your intention] So may it be.” For example, you may say, “may the moon amplify my ability to love myself – so may it be,” “may the moon amplify my desire to see with clarity” and so forth.

Ritual #4 – Herbal Tea Brew

What you will need:
  • A symbolic herb (in tea form) of your choice that represents your need, desire or goal
  • A cup
  • A spoon
  • Boiled water
In this full moon ritual, you will be ingesting your intention so that it symbolically becomes a living part of you. This is a basic but powerful ritual that can be quite relaxing, enjoyable, and discreet. If you don’t have a lot of time on your hands and are constantly surrounded by others, why not try this full moon ritual? All you will need is to purchase/gather a herb that represents your need, desire or goal. You can find many herbal correspondences online, but to save you time, here are a few:
Chamomile (for meeting life with calmness and gentleness)
Holy Basil (for emotional resilience)
Calendula (for passion and creativity)
Dandelion (for achieving your wishes and goals)
Peppermint (for purification)
Rose (for self-love and compassion)
Lemongrass (for optimism and open communication)
Ginger (for getting in touch with your personal power)
Ginkgo Biloba (for integration)
Jasmine (for sensuality and sexual confidence)
Mugwort (for increased intuition and visionary abilities)
I can’t list all the herbs out there, but many of the above herbs you can find in your local supermarket or health food store. For your convenience, I’ve also linked each herb above to a store that sells organic tea which I’ve tried and recommend.
When you have chosen your herb, find a quiet place indoors on the night of the full moon. Begin your ritual by boiling water in your kettle and pouring it mindfully into your cup. Let the tea bag (or tea leaves) steep for a few minutes. While you wait, focus on your intention. When the tea is ready, get your spoon and stir in a clockwise motion thinking about your intention. When you are ready, drink your tea slowly. Feel your intention descend into the depths of your body as it simultaneously descends into the depths of your unconscious mind to take root. Once you have finished your tea, the ritual is complete.

Ritual #5 – Art journaling

What you will need:
  • A pen or pencil
  • Colored texters, watercolors, acrylics or pastels
  • A piece of paper
If you enjoy artistic self-expression you will like this full moon ritual. Essentially, you will need a space where you can draw or doodle. Set your piece of paper out in front of you on the day/night of the full moon, and write or draw what you are struggling with. You don’t need to make it elaborate or pretty – in fact, it’s better not to as you’ll be drawing all over it!
Next, choose some colors that evoke the feelings in you that you’d like to experience. For example, you may wish to step into your personal sovereignty and choose reds and oranges or you may wish to find more inner peace and choose blues and violets.
Once you have written/drawn out your issue, state out loud (or in your mind) “may the full moon help to release/transform this.” Then, draw or paint over the words/scene in front of you with your intention. For example, you may have originally depicted a scene of yourself curled up on the ground in a fetal position that symbolizes sadness and setback. On top, you may choose to paint a picture of yourself smiling or standing on top of a mountain feeling victorious. Make sure you completely cover the words or pictures beneath. Once you are done, end your full moon ritual by placing your picture in the moonlight to symbolically release/transform/amplify your intentions.
I hope you’re feeling all bubbly with ideas right now!
Do you have a favorite full moon ritual that you’d like to share? I’d love to hear it below. Let’s cross-pollinate and gain some creative ideas to shape our own unique rituals!
Recommended articles by Aletheia Luna:
About the author:
 
Aletheia Luna is an influential spiritual writer whose work has changed the lives of thousands of people worldwide. After escaping the religious sect she was raised in, Luna experienced a profound existential crisis that led to her spiritual awakening. As a psychospiritual counselor, tarot reader, and professional writer, Luna’s mission is to help others become conscious of their entrapment and find joy, empowerment, and liberation in any circumstance. See more of her work at lonerwolf.com.
 
This article, How to Create Your Own Full Moon Ritual (with 5 Suggestions), was originally published on lonerwolf.com, reproduced with permission.
 



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publicado por achama às 16:53
Quarta-feira, 26 / 06 / 19

People-Pleasing: The Hidden Dangers of Always Being “Too Nice” ~ Aletheia Luna

People-Pleasing: 

The Hidden Dangers of Always Being “Too Nice”.

By Aletheia Luna.

Posted June 25, 2019 by Edward Morgan. 

 
.

 



You feel the pressure throb in your veins. A lump rises in your throat as your colleagues watch you closely. They are expecting an answer. They are expecting you to comply. Every fibre of your being wants to scream “NO I CAN’T.” But as if possessed, you automatically smile sweetly and say, “Yes, I’ll do it, thanks for asking.”
WTF is going on here?! Why can’t you just say “no,” and walk away?
If you’re like me, people-pleasing has run havoc in your life. It has crushed your spirit repeatedly. It has robbed you of peace of mind, personal empowerment and the courage to follow your goals and dreams. It has hit you while you’re down and dragged you through the dirt. It might have also contributed to chronic issues in your life such as anxiety disorders, depression, addiction or co-dependency.
So what exactly is people-pleasing … and how can we heal the root cause of it?

16 Habits of People-Pleasing Personality Types

At some point or another, we have all struggled with people-pleasing. After all, as social creatures, we are prone to peer pressure and the desire to fit in. But there is a big difference between the desire for acceptance and people-pleasing. People-pleasing is not just a once-in-a-while foible: it’s a daily struggle.
Here are 16 common habits:
  • You struggle to say “no”
  • You find it hard to be assertive and voice your opinions
  • You’re hyper-vigilant about perceived rejection from others (always on the lookout)
  • You’re an emotophobe (you fear negative emotions)
  • You’re excessively altruistic/philanthropic
  • You often suffer at the expense of doing a favor for others
  • You have a weak sense of self and poor interpersonal boundaries
  • You become emotionally dependent/co-dependent when in relationships/friendships
  • You’re addicted to approval from others
  • You have a neurotic desire to be liked no matter what
  • You feel shattered for days or weeks when someone criticises you
  • You have low self-worth
  • You act based on what “other people think” of you
  • You always put yourself in other’s shoes, but you rarely show compassion towards yourself
  • You blindly believe in other people’s “goodness” even if they are clearly abusive towards you
  • You fear losing control of yourself because you repress so much
It’s also said that people-pleasing can form a bridge to other conditions such as borderline personality disorder and social anxiety disorder.

Why Being “Too Nice” Can Be Dangerous

Obviously there is nothing wrong with being nice. But having the neurotic desire to be nice is dangerous for a number of reasons. Here’s why:

1. You suppress A LOT of emotion

Inevitably, wanting to be loved and needed by others all the time results in suppressing tons of uncomfortable emotions. I’m talking rage, hatred, bitterness, annoyance, grief and stress — anything that is contrary to the altruistic image you crave to portray. You might not be conscious of repressing these types of emotions, but rest assured, it comes with the job description. You can’t give yourself entirely to other people, deny yourself, and expect to feel fine and dandy in the longterm.
Suppression of emotions eventually results in physical or psychological breakdowns. Many chronic mental and physical illnesses are fuelled by the neurotic desire to please others.

2. Extreme pressure to “keep up appearances”

One of the worst things about constantly being nice is the extreme pressure you feel to constantly maintain your self-image. It feels good constantly being on people’s “good” sides. It feels good to avoid negative feelings and get the spotlight for being a saint. But this addiction comes at a price: chronic stress. Often that stress is imperceptible, but it’s always there, always demanding that you keep your mask strapped on even though it might be suffocating you.

3. People use you

When you’re a people-pleaser you open yourself up to abuse. Narcissists, energy vampires, bullies and other types of wounded people are drawn to you like fresh meat. Having weak boundaries, low self-esteem and the insatiable desire to please makes you the perfect “use and abuse” target. And unconsciously, you like feeling needed and wanted, so you unwittingly continue the toxic cycle.
It’s just like what the famous Eurythmics song “Sweet dreams are made of this” says: “Everybody’s looking for something. Some of them want to use you. Some of them want to get used by you. Some of them want to abuse you. Some of them want to be abused …”

4. You have the intense need to be in control

At first, people-pleasing might come across as a selfless act. But people-pleasing is actually a selfish act because you’re trying to control someone else’s reaction towards you by behaving in a certain way.
In fact, people-pleasing is more about the desire to be in control than it is to please other people. Wanting to be liked by others is just a symptom of the desire to be in control because deep down you feel powerless or worthless. This is why people-pleasing is so exhausting — it goes against the flow of life, and takes so much effort to maintain.

5. No one really knows the “true” you

Keeping so much locked inside of you for fear of being disapproved of makes you extremely guarded. In fact, if you’re a people-pleaser you might fear for instance, getting drunk, because all of the secret thoughts and opinions you have might come to the surface. In other words, you’ll no longer be in control of yourself.
When you’re a people-pleaser no one really knows the “true” and authentic you — they only know the facade that you present them with. Unfortunately, this desire to be loved and approved often backfires, making you feel more lonely and disconnected as time goes on. Eventually, you wind up feeling “invisible” and “unseen,” even if you are constantly in the spotlight.

How to Stop Being a People-Pleaser

Naturally you might be wondering right now, “What can I do to stop this?”
Let me tell you, there is so much bad advice out there. And the solution to overcoming this addiction (because it is), is NOT pulling the middle finger at everyone.
I don’t condone the “fuck you” approach because it’s immature and reactive.
Instead, I recommend the harder-but-wiser approach of:
I have linked an appropriate article to each of these four points. Click on whatever point you feel that you most need to work on.
As someone who has struggled with a people-pleasing personality (Enneagram 9 INFJ by the way), I know how self-destructive this trait can be. Because of this need to be accepted by others, I have suffered intense periods of anxiety and chronic pain, not to mention tons of repressed emotions for years.
But the first step to overcoming this problem is to shift your focal point from the outside world, to the inside world. Eventually, with time and practice utilizing the points above, you will be able to say sincerely and openly “I am enough unto myself” as I now can.
Any tips or advice that you have about this issue are welcome below.

 



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publicado por achama às 21:25
Sexta-feira, 07 / 06 / 19

25 Signs You Have a Wounded Inner Child ~ Aletheia Luna

25 Signs You Have a Wounded Inner Child.

By Aletheia Luna

Guest writer for Wake Up World.

June 7th, 2019. 

Originally published at lonerwolf.com and reproduced here with permission.


.
 

 

  • 25 Signs You Have a Wounded Inner Child ~ Aletheia Luna

     
     
     
     Every child deserves the fundamental right to feel safe, secure and protected. But not every child does. Growing up, it is the emotional and biological responsibility of our parents and family members to create a safe environment for us. But not all parents *accept* that responsibility, are *aware* of that responsibility, or *have the capacity* to fulfill that responsibility... more »
About the author:
Aletheia Luna is an influential spiritual writer whose work has changed the lives of thousands of people worldwide. After escaping the religious sect she was raised in, Luna experienced a profound existential crisis that led to her spiritual awakening. As a psychospiritual counselor, tarot reader, and professional writer, Luna’s mission is to help others become conscious of their entrapment and find joy, empowerment, and liberation in any circumstance. See more of her work at lonerwolf.com.
This article, Feeling Empty: 5 Ways to Heal Your Inner Void, was originally published on lonerwolf.com, reproduced with permission.
 



Compiled by http://violetflame.biz.ly from: 
 

Archives:


 

 



Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.

 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


More @ http://violetflame.biz.ly and 
https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/




 

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publicado por achama às 15:01
Terça-feira, 28 / 05 / 19

Feeling Empty: 5 Ways to Heal Your Inner Void ~ Aletheia Luna

Feeling Empty: 5 Ways to Heal Your Inner Void ~ Aletheia Luna


 




Feeling Empty:


5 Ways to Heal Your Inner Void.


By Aletheia Luna*Guest writer for Wake Up World.*


May 28th, 2019.


Originally published at lonerwolf.com and reproduced here with permission. . *source*

 

Your hectic day has finally lulled to a stop. There’s nothing left to do. There’s nothing more to say. Now you have time to relax. But instead, the silence descends upon you with oppressive force. You feel suffocated underneath the weight of this momentary, but seemingly eternal, nothingness. Suddenly that old feeling returns … the feeling of desolation, the feeling of a gaping inner h... more »

publicado por achama às 18:11
Segunda-feira, 11 / 02 / 19

People-Pleasing: The Hidden Dangers of Always Being “Too Nice” ~ Aletheia Luna

People-Pleasing:

The Hidden Dangers of Always Being “Too Nice”.

By Aletheia Luna

Guest writer for Wake Up World.

February 10th, 2019 

 
 

 

You feel the pressure throb in your veins. A lump rises in your throat as your colleagues watch you closely. They are expecting an answer. They are expecting you to comply. Every fibre of your being wants to scream “NO I CAN’T.” But as if possessed, you automatically smile sweetly and say, “Yes, I’ll do it, thanks for asking.”
WTF is going on here?! Why can’t you just say “no,” and walk away?
If you’re like me, people-pleasing has run havoc in your life. It has crushed your spirit repeatedly. It has robbed you of peace of mind, personal empowerment and the courage to follow your goals and dreams. It has hit you while you’re down and dragged you through the dirt. It might have also contributed to chronic issues in your life such as anxiety disorders, depression, addiction or co-dependency.
So what exactly is people-pleasing … and how can we heal the root cause of it?
16 Habits of People-Pleasing Personality Types
At some point or another, we have all struggled with people-pleasing. After all, as social creatures, we are prone to peer pressure and the desire to fit in. But there is a big difference between the desire for acceptance and people-pleasing. People-pleasing is not just a once-in-a-while foible: it’s a daily struggle.
Here are 16 common habits:
  • You struggle to say “no”
  • You find it hard to be assertive and voice your opinions
  • You’re hyper-vigilant about perceived rejection from others (always on the lookout)
  • You’re an emotophobe (you fear negative emotions)
  • You’re excessively altruistic/philanthropic
  • You often suffer at the expense of doing a favor for others
  • You have a weak sense of self and poor interpersonal boundaries
  • You become emotionally dependent/co-dependent when in relationships/friendships
  • You’re addicted to approval from others
  • You have a neurotic desire to be liked no matter what
  • You feel shattered for days or weeks when someone criticises you
  • You have low self-worth
  • You act based on what “other people think” of you
  • You always put yourself in other’s shoes, but you rarely show compassion towards yourself
  • You blindly believe in other people’s “goodness” even if they are clearly abusive towards you
  • You fear losing control of yourself because you repress so much
It’s also said that people-pleasing can form a bridge to other conditions such as borderline personality disorder and social anxiety disorder.

Why Being “Too Nice” Can Be Dangerous

Obviously there is nothing wrong with being nice. But having the neurotic desire to be nice is dangerous for a number of reasons. Here’s why:

1. You suppress A LOT of emotion

Inevitably, wanting to be loved and needed by others all the time results in suppressing tons of uncomfortable emotions. I’m talking rage, hatred, bitterness, annoyance, grief and stress — anything that is contrary to the altruistic image you crave to portray. You might not be conscious of repressing these types of emotions, but rest assured, it comes with the job description. You can’t give yourself entirely to other people, deny yourself, and expect to feel fine and dandy in the longterm.
Suppression of emotions eventually results in physical or psychological breakdowns. Many chronic mental and physical illnesses are fuelled by the neurotic desire to please others.

2. Extreme pressure to “keep up appearances”

One of the worst things about constantly being nice is the extreme pressure you feel to constantly maintain your self-image. It feels good constantly being on people’s “good” sides. It feels good to avoid negative feelings and get the spotlight for being a saint. But this addiction comes at a price: chronic stress. Often that stress is imperceptible, but it’s always there, always demanding that you keep your mask strapped on even though it might be suffocating you.

3. People use you

When you’re a people-pleaser you open yourself up to abuse. Narcissists, energy vampires, bullies and other types of wounded people are drawn to you like fresh meat. Having weak boundaries, low self-esteem and the insatiable desire to please makes you the perfect “use and abuse” target. And unconsciously, you like feeling needed and wanted, so you unwittingly continue the toxic cycle.
It’s just like what the famous Eurythmics song “Sweet dreams are made of this” says: “Everybody’s looking for something. Some of them want to use you. Some of them want to get used by you. Some of them want to abuse you. Some of them want to be abused …”

4. You have the intense need to be in control

At first, people-pleasing might come across as a selfless act. But people-pleasing is actually a selfish act because you’re trying to control someone else’s reaction towards you by behaving in a certain way.
In fact, people-pleasing is more about the desire to be in control than it is to please other people. Wanting to be liked by others is just a symptom of the desire to be in control because deep down you feel powerless or worthless. This is why people-pleasing is so exhausting — it goes against the flow of life, and takes so much effort to maintain.

5. No one really knows the “true” you

Keeping so much locked inside of you for fear of being disapproved of makes you extremely guarded. In fact, if you’re a people-pleaser you might fear for instance, getting drunk, because all of the secret thoughts and opinions you have might come to the surface. In other words, you’ll no longer be in control of yourself.
When you’re a people-pleaser no one really knows the “true” and authentic you — they only know the facade that you present them with. Unfortunately, this desire to be loved and approved often backfires, making you feel more lonely and disconnected as time goes on. Eventually, you wind up feeling “invisible” and “unseen,” even if you are constantly in the spotlight.

How to Stop Being a People-Pleaser

Naturally you might be wondering right now, “What can I do to stop this?”
Let me tell you, there is so much bad advice out there. And the solution to overcoming this addiction (because it is), is NOT pulling the middle finger at everyone.
I don’t condone the “fuck you” approach because it’s immature and reactive.
Instead, I recommend the harder-but-wiser approach of:
I have linked an appropriate article to each of these four points. Click on whatever point you feel that you most need to work on.
As someone who has struggled with a people-pleasing personality (Enneagram 9 INFJ by the way), I know how self-destructive this trait can be. Because of this need to be accepted by others, I have suffered intense periods of anxiety and chronic pain, not to mention tons of repressed emotions for years.
But the first step to overcoming this problem is to shift your focal point from the outside world, to the inside world. Eventually, with time and practice utilizing the points above, you will be able to say sincerely and openly “I am enough unto myself” as I now can.
Any tips or advice that you have about this issue are welcome below.
 
Recommended articles by Aletheia Luna:
About the author:
Aletheia Luna is an influential spiritual writer whose work has changed the lives of thousands of people worldwide. After escaping the religious sect she was raised in, Luna experienced a profound existential crisis that led to her spiritual awakening. As a psychospiritual counselor, tarot reader, and professional writer, Luna’s mission is to help others become conscious of their entrapment and find joy, empowerment, and liberation in any circumstance. See more of her work at lonerwolf.com.
This article How to Authentically Understand the Meaning of Your Dreams (No Fluff Guide) was originally published on lonerwolf.com, reproduced with permission.

 



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publicado por achama às 15:31
Terça-feira, 05 / 02 / 19

3 Ways to Experience “Dadirri” in Nature ~ Aletheia Luna

3 Ways to Experience “Dadirri” in Nature.

By Aletheia Luna

Guest writer for Wake Up World.

February 5th, 2019 

 
 
.

 

Dadirri. It is inner, deep listening and quiet, still awareness. Dadirri recognizes the deep spring that is inside us. We call on it and it calls to us … When I experience dadirri, I am made whole again. I can sit on the riverbank or walk through the trees; even if someone close to me has passed away, I can find my peace in this silent awareness.
“My people today recognize and experience in this quietness the great Life-Giving spirit, the Father of us all. It is easy for me to experience God’s presence. When I am out hunting, when I am in the bush, among the trees, on a hill or by a billabong; these are the times when I can simply be in God’s presence. My people have been so aware of Nature. It is natural that we will feel close to the Creator.” – Miriam Rose Ungunmerr-Baumann, Aboriginal teacher and artist
Ever since I learned the meaning of the word dadirri in a conversation I was having with an Australian aboriginal friend of mine, I immediately fell in love with its significance. I was teaching him about ‘Pachamama‘ (what we call mother nature in Quechua) and other of my indigenous ways of looking at the world, while he was teaching me about his.
Nature is one of the best healing and teaching environments that has been used by every indigenous culture to reconnect with God, or with the Divine. In a time where we are so materialistically centered, it is unsurprising that we often take for granted a gift that is so freely available.
It’s easy to forget that we don’t own nature, but we are a part of it.

Why We Must Reconnect With Nature

I travel into nature every free opportunity that I have so I can be alone, heal, revitalize and re-energize my powers, to reconnect with my initiation commitments, to converse with natural spirit allies and helpers, to be inspired and to generally fill myself with the connection to “All there is that is sacred”, so that I can come back to my life with more strength, power and balance.
In our densely populated world with its sprawling cities everywhere, it is often difficult to find an accessible place in nature to reconnect with. But in my experience to develop inner balance, and thus survive as a species, we must change our relationship with nature, reconnect with it and redefine our place within it.
Modern science is agreeing more and more with the notion that our dissociation from nature is extremely harmful to our psyche and to our individual and collective development. Bill Plotkin, an eco-psychologist who has worked with people in the wild for over 20 years, writes in his book Nature and The Human Soul:
… healthy human development requires a constant balancing of the influences and demands of both nature and culture … By suppressing the nature dimension of human development … industrial growth society engenders an immature citizenry unable to imagine a life beyond consumerism and soul-suppressing jobs.
There are three main reasons why I see we should immerse ourselves more into nature:
1. Artificial Lives: Most of our days are spent in artificial environments that have no living energy or ‘spirit’. We work and live in buildings made from bricks, and rooms illuminated by artificial lighting, we stare at artificial screens 5 to 6 hours of our waking time, and are surrounded by artificial noises and sounds from messages, emails, calls, apps and video games. This results in an over-stimulated mind and under-stimulated senses, all of which disconnect us from ourselves.
2. Reflects Our Souls: Our soul is that wild energy that vibrates in all that is living. When we are in nature, we are instinctively able to connect with these deeper aspects of ourselves, to explore our natural selves, and to find peacefulness and wisdom through inner-balance.
3. Species Survival: Unless we learn to reconnect with the natural world, respect her laws and appreciate the air we breath, the food we eat, the water we drink thanks to her, our survival as a species is doubtful. The way we treat nature serves as a great reflection on our level of conscious development. If we destroy nature, we suffer much more than she does. We as a species depend on her; she doesn’t depend on us. Eventually, with enough time she can heal any wounds we inflict on her, but we can never heal our own species’ extinction.

3 Ways We Can Reconnect With Nature

My experience has taught me that trying to make someone environmentally aware is just as ineffective as trying to make someone animal cruelty aware.
The whole PETA approach of “Meat is Murder” to shock and enrage publicity, and the guilt tripping approach of: “You’re no better than a mass murderer! Your eating habits are revolting and evil!! Join us!” portrays vegans and vegetarians as being subverts, accusers, haters, which often does nothing but repel and scare many people away from even considering a change in their eating habits.
So, instead of following the demands to “take care of nature”, why don’t we take the time to immerse ourselves in the natural world and experience all the physical and mental benefits it can provide us? It is hard to take care of something you have developed no respect for.
These are some of the suggestions I offer our students to help them reconnect with nature:
1. Educated awareness: We live in an age where being environmentally friendly is associated with being a hippy, hipster, tree-hugger or eco-freak. Caring for the environment is somehow thought of as being stupid or uncool. Mostly this comes from the lack of education we provide to teach children and adults of the many benefits they can experience from immersing themselves in the wilderness. The first step is to develop a vibrant knowledge and understanding of the subject.
2. Become an exhibitionist: We often think of nature as a one-sided relationship, or in other words: that we simply go into nature to look at it. But have you ever thought that Nature also experiences you? ‘Pachamama’ as we call her, is very aware of the presence and energy that you bring into her environment. A fun exercise to try is going into nature with a piece of paper and pencil; sitting down, closing your eyes for however long you wish, and concentrating on your breathing, imagining that Mother Nature is watching you all around. Once you’re done, open your eyes and write down your experience, the thoughts that popped into your head and the feelings. You’ll be surprised what she can inspire in you.
3. Experience nature with intent: A good way to practice dadirri is going to a park or nature walk, and experience nature with intent. To do this, dedicate the first five minutes of your walk to noting all the sounds you hear. You then dedicate the next five minutes to experiencing or feeling the sensations produced by the wind, warmth of the sun, coolness of the rain, or even by extending your hand so you can touch the trees as you walk by. The next five minutes try to notice all the trees and plants, as well as all the wildlife you can find. And finally, the last few minutes can be dedicated to becoming aware of your connection with the earth, by experiencing how your feet firmly touch the ground with every step.
Intuitively, we all know the value of nature. When we imagine a calm and relaxing place, a place to escape from the business of the modern world, for example, most of us imagine a sanctuary in nature. I hope this article helps you get back in touch with our oldest friend.
Recommended articles by Aletheia Luna:
About the author:
Aletheia Luna is an influential spiritual writer whose work has changed the lives of thousands of people worldwide. After escaping the religious sect she was raised in, Luna experienced a profound existential crisis that led to her spiritual awakening. As a psychospiritual counselor, tarot reader, and professional writer, Luna’s mission is to help others become conscious of their entrapment and find joy, empowerment, and liberation in any circumstance. See more of her work at lonerwolf.com.
This article How to Authentically Understand the Meaning of Your Dreams (No Fluff Guide) was originally published on lonerwolf.com, reproduced with permission.

 



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If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 18:53
A Luz está a revelar a Verdade, e esta libertar-nos-á! -Só é real o AMOR Incondicional. -Quando o Amor superar o amor pelo poder, o mundo conhecerá a Paz; Jimi Hendrix. -Somos almas a ter uma experiência humana!

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