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Sábado, 14 / 12 / 19

10 Signs of Unresolved Trauma from Your Childhood and How to Deal with It

Sherrie Hurd.

learning-mind.com

Posted December 12th, 2019.

 
Unresolved Trauma Childhood.

 
 
Dealing with unresolved trauma isn’t as simple as trying to be more positive. This kind of trauma goes deep with its roots.
 
I seem to always be talking about trauma, abuse or some other unresolved issues. By now, you’d think I’d been cured of all my problems, but I’m not. My traumas run deep, and for a couple of stages of my life, I pushed them back, repressing what happened to me.
 
This isn’t healthy, but it’s a common defense system when you’ve gone through trauma. This could be what your loved ones are feeling and more.
 
Life-lasting effects of childhood trauma
 
When we experience traumatic things during childhood, some of us think it’s a part of the normal process of life. When I was abused, I actually thought it was supposed to happen, that is until I grew old enough to know the difference.
 
Unresolved issues concerning trauma don’t rear their ugly heads until we’re older, as with my situation, so we learn so much as we grow. Not everything we learn is positive. If someone you love has repressed childhood trauma, there are signs you can see and some just waiting beneath the surface.
 
As unresolved childhood trauma can affect the future, it’s best to find solutions to at least some of these issues.
 
10 ways to recognize unresolved trauma in your loved ones
 
1. You have no joy
 
If your friend’s childhood trauma has not been resolved, then they’ll have a difficult time feeling joy. Things that should make them look forward to tomorrow will have them dreading it instead.
 
Your friend may be able to feel a form of joy, however, or even be able to feed off some of the joy of others, but they will not have the pure joy of their own which comes from true happiness.
 
2. Trust issues
 
I can personally attest that I do not trust many people. And yes, I do have some unresolved issues from my childhood trauma. Trust is hard to have when your trust was broken in abuse. Whether your loved one was neglected or beaten, they saw people as bad and they lost trust in them.
 
If someone you love has trust issues, there could have been some terrible trauma in their past.
 
3. Nightmares
 
Boy, I must have many unresolved issues from my past traumas because I have nightmares or weird dreams every night. Yes, having nightmares on a regular basis could be a sign that your boyfriend or girlfriend has things from childhood that they haven’t faced. This could be any sort of abuse or neglect. Since these roots run deep, the nightmares are probably filled with vivid detail.
 
Sometimes they can be so disturbing they ruin sleep completely, leaving the one you love sweating and gasping for breath. To be honest, I had a nightmare so terrible one time that I woke screaming. So yeah, those bad dreams, they could very well be telling you something important about your loved one’s past.
 
4. Self-harm
 
Cutters aren’t just kids, well teens. Some adults resort to self-harm or self-mutilation. Adults, however, don’t always cut. Sometimes, they starve themselves, scratch sores on their skin or even pull out their hair.
 
These signs could be medical conditions as well, but you might want to do a bit of research into the past. Try to find out if these acts of self-violence come from negative childhood events. They could.
 
5. Extreme anger
 
Many times, those who have anger problems are either dealing with something extremely stressful now, or they could be exhibiting a release from the trauma of the past.
 
Unresolved trauma from the past builds and builds anger during our lifetime, even if we push it back and try to forget. It still festers until the trauma is faced. This extreme anger can damage others as well as actually affect health and shorten the lifespan. It can surely be one of the signs that something happened long ago.
 
6. Fears
 
Have you ever noticed someone get suddenly afraid for no logical reason? That’s because something has triggered that response.
 
 
When there are unresolved issues from the past, this fear will surface many times, and in strange situations. There may not seem like anything could possibly go wrong, but previous victims can still have fear.
 
7. Panic attacks
 
Whether your friend has an anxiety disorder or not, panic attacks can be a sure sign that there are unresolved issues. Panic attacks do happen randomly, but they are also triggered by something that reminds them of their childhood.
 
Panic attacks cause increased heart rate, hyperventilating, and other symptoms. Watch for these symptoms.
 
8. Avoiding people
 
It’s okay to be an introvert, but avoiding people all the time, and sometimes rarely leaving your home is just not normal. Something is going on that needs to be addressed.
 
This behavior could be the result of something traumatic that happened in childhood. If someone can’t be around people, then people cannot help them. They can even start to experience dissociation episodes as well.
 
9. Hypervigilance
 
Hypervigilance is always being on guard no matter how safe the surroundings may be. If your loved one wakes up expecting something negative is going to happen, and they go throughout the day thinking the same thing, they will remain in that fight or flight syndrome. This elevated state of being can be damaging to their health.
10. Addictions
 
Another sign of unresolved trauma is falling into addictive behavior. Everyone knows about addiction to alcohol and drugs, but there are many other things that can become an addiction.
 
 
If your loved one’s childhood was traumatic, they probably think about it more than they should. Sometimes these thoughts are just too hard to handle, and some turn to various addictions.
 
Unresolved issues from your childhood can be addressed
 
When you’re dealing with friends and loved ones who have unresolved pain and heartache from their childhood, you have to be careful and considerate. It might take you a while to understand what’s going on, and you may make mistakes when trying to help them, but it’s okay.
 
The best way to deal with unresolved and painful childhood trauma is to follow a few steps.
 
Talk to your loved one. Learn about what happened if they are willing to open up to you.
 
If there are unresolved issues, work together to figure out how to solve those issues. If you can’t help, seek the help of a professional who has a better understanding of unresolved childhood trauma.
 
Don’t be judgemental and never tell them how someone else easily healed from trauma. That can make them feel even worse.
 
Be a friend. Be a true friend, and coax them to do anything positive that you can.
 
Be as kind as possible, and don’t do anything extra that makes them even more hyper-vigilant. Learn their triggers and avoid them.
 
Slowly and carefully help them get used to a few people at a time.
 
 
Any trauma can be resolved with the right help
 
I’ve provided a few ways to help people who suffer from negative events from childhood. The most important part of this healing is getting to the root of what happened. That’s why you do the first tip from above and open up a dialogue with them.
 
If you feel like you don’t understand what they’re going through, get educated. After all, helping each other and learning how to do that is extremely important.
 
Remember, those who’ve suffered need hope. So, let’s help them keep it.



Sherrie Hurd

 

 

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Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


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publicado por achama às 03:24
Domingo, 30 / 06 / 19

6 Types of a Verbally Abusive Relationship People Don’t Realize Are Toxic ~ Sherrie Hurd.

6 Types of a Verbally Abusive Relationship People Don’t Realize Are Toxic.

By Sherrie Hurd.

Posted June 29, 2019 by Edward Morgan

 
 
 



There are so many forms of abuse, and the verbally abusive relationship is one of the most damaging situations. Words truly hurt.

Sometimes, I sit around and think about negative words from the past, but I try not to dwell too long there. It can be even more damaging to present situations, good or bad. I was in a verbally abusive relationship, among other things, and it almost killed me.
Here’s the thing, there were times that I tried to convince myself that I was the problem, and this is the largest contributor to my degrading health. Instead of being strong and getting away from a bad situation, I crumbled. I don’t want this to happen to anyone.

Recognize the toxicity

It’s sometimes hard to see the abuse from the inside. But if we take a step back and examine the big picture, we will see these negative and hurtful words as extremely abusive. If you’re in this situation, I know you need a little help.
So, let me explain a few verbally abusive type relationships that you may not recognize. I just want to give you a heads up, so you can avoid much of the damage that I endured.

1. Manipulative relationships

One of the first signs of a verbally abusive and toxic relationship is manipulation. This type of abuse can come in either actions or words, depending on the particular issue in the relationship. For instance, threats to leave a person, if they do not do as they are told, is definitely a manipulative move.
Control is a form of manipulation and control can easily be conveyed through words, even seemingly calm soothing words. In this case, it’s not only about how the thing is said but the placement of words in the statement.
Love, devotion, and commitment can be used just as negatively as harmful words and can be spoken calmly as well. But the placement of these words lets you know the true intention of the speaker.

2. Gaslighting relationships

I hate this one. Oh, I hate it with a passion. This was used on me so many times that I am grateful I still have a bit of self-worth left. Please pay close attention to what I’m about to tell you because it can change your lifeGaslighting is real, and some people are really good at it too.
Gaslighting is a form of convincing someone that they are crazy. For instance, if you catch your partner doing something wrong, they will turn the blame over to you. They can say a multitude of things that will make you feel like you’ve done something wrong yourself.
But there’s more to it. They can convince you that your memory of certain situations is wrong, especially if you’ve happened to mention a disturbing memory about them. They will say you are too sensitive, that everything you’ve seen or heard is all in your head.
Basically, it’s about them getting out of trouble at the expense of your sanity.

3. Humiliation in relationships

Sometimes partners will purposely embarrass or humiliate their matein public. I’m not sure why they do this, other than to put themselves in a good light and their partner in a bad one. I guess it’s about defaming a reputation in hopes of getting their own way.
Now, fun teasing is okay, because many couples do this, but insults and degrading comments are never okay. Honestly, intelligent people, who see this being done to you, will probably realize the motivation behind what’s being done, which is a good thing.
Let’s hope many people are learning more about toxic relationship dynamics.

4. When you’re always to blame

By the way, I also hate this one too. I’ve been in a relationship before where it was almost impossible for my partner to take the blame for anything, and apologies were rare. You are in a verbally abusive partnership when your partner will not take the blame, it’s that simple.
When you fight, it will be because you upset him or when something is forgotten, it will be because you never reminded her. You get the picture. To them, it will always be your fault.

5. The overly jealous relationship

Being a little jealous is okay, but being obsessive about it is not. It can be turned into a verbally abusive and hurtful relationship. If your partner starts hounding you about flirting with others or cheating when you’re late coming home, then they have become obsessive, and this is toxic indeed.
Because even though jealousy may not initially be verbal, it will soon turn into questioning, prying, and even public humiliation. It tends to escalate rather quickly.

6. The undermining relationship

A verbally toxic and abusive relationship can also include undermining. What undermining does is it makes the victim of abuse question their own interests and other choices. An abusive partner will criticize their mate’s clothing, music, and even food choices until the victim starts to question their own choices themselves.
This is also a form of control and may be hard to recognize at first. This is usually due to the fact that the abuser wraps their criticism in caring statements. They say they want to support their partner and they know they can do better.
Have you heard this before? You just have to learn how to tell the difference between real support and manipulation.

What can we do?

verbally abusive relationship - What can we do
If you’re in a relationship that has any of these characteristics, it’s time to do inventory. Pay attention to the way your partner acts in certain situations or during arguments. Many times, they will have a hard time with healthy communication and will say the communication is being argumentative.
Usually, the abusive partner will get angry instead of trying to talk things through, not always, but most of the time.
So, with this being said, I hope you can find a way to stop verbal abuse if you endure this. A verbally abusive relationship can damage both your physical and mental health if not approached in the right way and resolved.
Sometimes, unfortunately, leaving the toxic relationship is the only solution. This will be up to you.
I wish you well.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/
  2. https://www.womenshealth.gov/
 
 
About the Author
Sherrie Hurd is an artist and a regular contributor to the websites Learning Mind and Life Advancer. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.
 

more:
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BREAKING: Big Pharma blood pressure drugs found laced with cancer-causing chemical; but FDA says don’t stop taking them
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2019 ‘Dead Zone’ In Gulf Of Mexico May Be Second Largest On Record
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The Normalization of Satanism and Witchcraft is now Nearly Complete
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No religious or political creed is advocated here.

Organised religion is unnecessary to spirituality.

Excellent teachings of the masters have been contaminated by the dogmatic control of these religions.

Discernment yes; judgement does not.
If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 

With discernment it is possible to reach the spirit of the letter of any writing and it is also much easier to listen to the voice of the soul that comes from the heart.
Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 


Please respect all credits.

 
Discernment is recommended.
 

All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 


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publicado por achama às 22:27
Terça-feira, 25 / 06 / 19

How to Free Yourself from Codependency and Abuse ~ Hilde Larsen

How to Free Yourself from Codependency and Abuse.

By Hilde Larsen

Contributing writer for Wake Up World.

June 25th, 2019. 

 
.
 

 

First of all, abuse is not only the obvious. YOU are abusing you, and any time you are falling for any form of control or patterns of codependency it is abusive to your free soul expression and creativity. I will teach you a simple exercise that can help you change how you live and free you from the negative attachments to other people.
First of all, why would you want to cut cords? Well, think about it. Without even knowing it we hold on, cling, are emotionally attached to people and look to them for approval. And THAT might be on the positive side.


Manipulation, narcissism, obvious abuse, are so common today. Sadly, so “Normal”. You see, this world is the home of so many people who hurt, and hurt people do hurtful things. Abuse has become more and more common, as if we lost our way completely and forgot how to live compassionately and free, honoring each other fully. Well, YOU can do better, by simply changing YOU.
You see the good news is, you can free yourself from the invisible prison it is to live from the perspective that you need to please fit in, feel superior or simply confused and lost. Through cutting the cords that energetically keep you emotionally connected to another human being, you will be set free. Not “loose them, not separate from them, only break the spell of dependency and abuse.
I want to introduce you to a simple exercise that will allow you to free yourself from old patterns and connections to others without involving them. Only you.
Forgiving everything, absolutely, freeing yourself. The bottom line is this: Everything is about you. It is all on you. How you want to be treated, how you cling or let go.
Everything you perceive as your truth is on you.
Everything you see from your eyes, it’s always going to be subjective and it’s always going to be created from where you are at the moment.

Why is cutting the cords so important?

Our lives can be confusing, simply because we no longer know what-is-what. What is me and what is them. What do I really want and what do I do out of expectations from others. Or simply from the fear of losing something. Anything.
Maybe you already changed your diet.
You might have even started to change some of the things in your life that aren’t working.
Maybe you realized some of your relationships weren’t working.
Maybe your job wasn’t right for you.
Maybe you weren’t living in the perfect space for you.
Still, you feel held back by something that has an invisible hold on you. Something hard to define. Something the mind cannot resolve.
More good news is this: You don’t have to know the specifics to start the process of amazing changefor yourself.
Cutting the cords is simply about walking away from letting another soul control how you feel about your life. If anyone triggers you, this is a good sign that they’re one of those sorts of people. By that I mean, if anyone can get under your skin, there are energetic emotional cords. Let them lose.

Where to start:

  1.  Sit down and make the slit. Find your journal and let it pour. Writing by hand can be so powerful, so that is what I recommend.
  2. List all the people that you feel have wronged you. List the people who still get under your skin. Maybe you have a feeling of being dependent on them. It doesn’t need to be negative per se.
  3. You will do the exercise thinking of one person and one person alone until you feel all those cords are cut before you move on to the next person. It may take more than one session.
I assure you, your life will change. What happens around you will change. It´s almost spooky how things will unfold different. THIS is how powerful we are. Just by being US: Your relationships will change, just by you doing this. The power of intent and visualization is amazing, and this is a great skill to add into your healing toolbox.
 Spend 10 minutes per day for a week and do the following: 
Now that you have your list, pick a name. the one you feel most towards. Most of us knows exactly who needs to go first. Then, find a nice, quiet space where you won’t be disturbed and close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths and find peace and stillness. Focus on your heart and find love. Breathe from your heart.
  • In front of you, visualize a small stage, the kind that you did school plays on. You see this person in question walking out on the stage and then you see yourself walking out onto the same stage; you’re standing there opposite each other, looking at each other about three, four or five feet apart, then moving closer. In peace.
  • You’ll be able to see that there are cords connecting you and this other person. The cords may go from forehead to forehead, from throat to throat, heart to heart; the connection is going to be unique for the two of you. Sometimes the cords may even be entangled, like you’re bound together with a lot of rope.
  • In your mind’s eye, begin to cut them, starting at the top. Use whatever tool you need. It could be a knife. It could be a pair of scissors. Maybe even an ax. Anything. As you cut them, say, “I forgive you for everything” and hear the person say it back, “I forgive you for everything”.
  • You might find some cords are very hard to cut. Spend time. You might even have to come back later, but don’t worry. Feel the love in your heart and allow that person to just float up into the light.
And again, sometimes the cords are really hard to cut. Sometimes it might seem impossible to do it. I had one person in my life where I tried everything until I literally had to pull that cord out roots and all. When I finally removed that cord, I can honestly say though that something shifted deep within me. I released years of narcissistic abuse.
Know that you cannot lose a relationship by doing this. If someone walks away, it will serve you. It can only get better for YOU.  We tend to want to hold on, even though it’s not healthy for us. Why? The fear of being alone. Suck a killer of joy and bliss. We would rather live with crap than with what we believe is nothing.
Remember, one space can only be filled with one thing, so every time you let something go you are inviting in something new. Make sure it is something better.
By cutting the cords, you are no longer standing in the way of your magnificence, standing in the way of you shining.
Be empowered to let go and stand free.
 
Recommended articles by Hilde Larsen:

About the author:
hilde-larsen-bio-350x326Hilde Larsen, known as ‘the one who Inspires’, is the CEO and founder of inspiredbyhilde.com. She is a certified Health and Mindset Coach, an Author, a Keynote Speaker, Detox Specialist, Raw food Teacher and Life-Enthusiast. Her glowing enthusiasm for health and vitality has the leading role in her work. Her interest in healing and spiritual growth also led her to become a Reiki Healer. She is highly intuitive and has a strong connection to Mother Earth and the spiritual world.
Hilde Larsen writes articles, and has her own blog and YouTube channel. She is the author of three published books: ‘From HELL to Inspired’, ‘Know the Truth and Get Healthy’, and ‘No More Bullshit’. She creates online video programs and has her own membership site, The Inspired Members.
Born and raised in Stavanger, Norway, she and her husband of 29 years have a second home in Florida, USA. She is a proud mother and grandmother, and a tree-hugger at heart. Called by nature and spirit, she is inspiring many to take back their power, and to live a healthy successful life doing what they love. Hilde now spends her time traveling between Norway and Florida, speaking, and appearing on different media as the Inspired health and thought leader. She is an authority in her field who has walked her talk. She also values the time with her clients, and her time in nature with her closest family and friends.
 



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publicado por achama às 19:58
Terça-feira, 04 / 06 / 19

5 Tools of Narcissistic Triangulation: Is Someone Doing This to You? ~ Sherrie.

5 Tools of Narcissistic Triangulation: Is Someone Doing This to You?

By Sherrie.

June 3rd, 2019

 

Narcissistic abuse is terrible enough, but having to deal with narcissistic triangulation is a whole other level of this illness.
I’ve studied narcissism and other personality disorders for quite some time. I’ve learned aboutthe traits and characteristics, and then, I discovered that we all have a certain level of narcissism within us. Did you know that? Well, it seems I’m learning something new every day, and that’s a good thing. Just recently I learned there was something called, “narcissistic triangulation”, and this has opened up areas in my life that were hard to see.

What is this form of abuse?

The narcissist’s tool of madness – triangulation – is a severe mode of alienating people from others that they love. Triangulation can also mean using gaslighting(convincing outsiders that someone you love is crazy), and it can mean draining life from the victim while gaining popularity with the victim’s loved ones.
I think it’s one of the sickest weapons that a narcissist can use. In fact, I feel nauseated at this moment because I’m learning that I know quite a few people like this.

Are they using narcissistic triangulation on you?

A narcissist, especially a covert kind, will use triangulation often during their abusive actions. It’s a way to cover who they really are. This happens when the victim starts to figure out the true identity of the narcissist. It’s almost a retaliation from being noticed, actually.
If the narcissist can use triangulation to separate the victim from all their loved ones, then the victim will be aloneeasy prey for the narcissist. Can you feel the disgust? I can.
So, let’s see if any narcissists are using triangulation on you:

1. Invoking jealousy

Narcissists who use triangulation will attempt to make their partner jealous. One of the most common ways they do this is by using a third party.
For instance, the narcissist may tell their partner that one of her friends flirted with him. This not only makes the victim feel insecure but also makes her try harder to please the narcissist in fear of losing his interest to her friend. It’s sadistic, honestly.
If you’ve noticed your partner talking about girls flirting with him, try not to respond. It’s your response the narcissist craves.

2. Division

Have you noticed your partner saying negative things about certain friends you have? If so, they’re probably telling these friends negative things about you as well. This happens when communication between two particular people could expose the narcissist’s true identity.
Pay close attention to who your partner talks about and his overall demeanor when he does this. He could possibly be using triangulation to keep control.

3. Gaslighting

Gaslighting is when a narcissistic personality convinces others that her partner is crazy or abusive. This is possible because of carefully manipulative instigation.
For example, a narcissist will say derogatory things about her partner until he gets mad. When he retaliates, she will say he is crazy. Sometimes she does this in public so that more people can see just how crazed he gets.
If your girlfriend is starting fights with you for no reason, be careful of gaslighting. This might be what’s about to happen, which proves triangulation.

4. Recruitment

Is your partner often calling in reinforcements from friends and family when you start fighting or having a disagreement? If so, then this could be a form of narcissistic triangulation.
Now, sometimes help is needed when dealing with serious issues, but leveraging people to one side is just not a healthy move in a relationship. You may have noticed how your partner’s family members always take their side, this is common of course, but this, in ways, is triangulation as well.

5. The break-up

If you’re about to break up with your partner, then take a close look at how it’s being done.
Let’s say it’s his idea, and not so much your own. If he is using triangulation, he is telling other people about how bad you are and getting them to agree with everything he says. One of these confidants is probably the woman he wishes to replace you with.
It’s a sick and twisted way of ending a relationship, but it fits right in with how narcissists use triangulation.

What you can do with this information

I’ve been reading about narcissists all day now. I was researching things and then ran off into tangents learning even more about the traits and characteristics of the narcissist. I’m going to be honest with you, this type of personality is complex and difficult to change.
The bright side is, now you have a few facts about narcissistic triangulation and how it works. It’s your choice what to do with this information. I do urge you to consider all aspects of your relationship, whether it be romantic, secular or simply a family relationship.
When you recognize the signs of narcissists and triangulation, it’s time to ask yourself one important question.
“Should I get away, or should I stay and try to help?”
The answer is up to you. Just take care of yourself and remember your self-worth in the process.
References:
  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com
  2. https://en.wikipedia.org
 

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2019 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.
 

 



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Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 18:13
Quarta-feira, 29 / 05 / 19

6 Signs You Are in a Narcissistic Relationship and What to Do. ~ Rachael Pace

6 Signs You Are in a Narcissistic Relationship and What to Do.

Rachael Pace, Guest Author learning-mind.com

May 28, 2019. 

 
narcissistic relationship signs.

 

 

Being in a narcissistic relationship is hardly ideal. While your partner is the center of attention at all times, you probably feel like your needs could use a little dusting off.
narcissistic personality disorder is a condition of the mind where one person has an inflated sense of self, a constant need for attention, and lacks empathy for others. They may also be incredibly charming, manipulative, and toxic when it comes to being in a relationship.
Don’t let someone’s inflated ego ruin your chance at happiness. How to recognize if you are in a relationship with a narcissist?

These are 6 warning signs that you are in a narcissistic relationship and ways how you can fix things.

  1. They need constant praise and attention

Narcissists have delusions of grandeur, so it isn’t surprising that one of the most common signs of narcissistic personality disorders is the need for praise from their partners.
A narcissist wants their spouse to acknowledge their talents, appearance, intelligence, and achievements on an almost constant basis.
All partners love when their spouse makes them feel special. However, such needy behavior of a narcissistic person can be detrimental to a relationship in many ways.
  1. The charm turns on and off

One thing about narcissists is that they know how to charm their partners. Because of their excessive need to be liked and adored, they will know exactly how to come off as put-together, likable, and endearing. Such behavior will, of course, inflate their ego.
But once the honeymoon period is over, a narcissist will reveal their true colors. Some examples include sulking when you disagree with them, getting angry over the smallest things, and seemingly losing any interest in pretending to care about what you are thinking or feeling.
  1. Demeaning toward others

Is there anything more distasteful than someone treating others as their lesser?
Because a narcissist views themselves as superior to others, they will often demean people around them. They will obsess over the negative parts of others’ personalities, lives, and backgrounds. They judge others relentlessly.
Not only is this damaging to your mental health, but this can also be embarrassing when introducing your spouse to your friends or family. It can also be challenging when dealing with people who work in the service industry, such as at restaurants or hotels.
  1. Zero empathy

Any family psychologist will tell you that developing empathy and compassion for your partner is essential for a healthy relationship.
Empathy means that you feel for your partner. It means you have a fellow-feeling for those around you or at the very least, for those closest to you.
Unfortunately, a lack of empathy is incredibly common in narcissistic personalities. It is what allows them to disconnect from you emotionally and be cruel without thinking twice.
  1. There is no compromise

Whether they’re trying to make their spouse stay in the relationship or are convincing them that they are on the wrong side of an argument, narcissists know how to manipulate.
Instead of coming together to communicate about how you are feeling or resolve any issues you’re having, a narcissist will overreact at even the slightest sign of your disagreeing with them.
  1. You feel bad about yourself

Relationships should make you feel good, not worthless. Gaslighting, or manipulating a partner to the point that they question their own judgment or sanity, is a common practice of toxic abusers. It can leave you feeling like you don’t even know who you are anymore.
While in a relationship with a narcissistic person, you may:
  • Feel like everything you do is wrong
  • Find yourself apologizing all the time
  • Constantly question yourself
  • Feel anxious and nervous around your spouse
  • Frequently apologize/make excuses for your spouse’s behavior
  • Become isolated from friends and family
  • Feel like you’re walking on eggshells

What to do when you’re dating a narcissist

Being part of a healthy relationship means that both partners are 100 percent willing to share their lives, thoughts, and time together. This is what creates a long-lasting, strong marriage.
If you have been dating a narcissistic personality for some time now, you are likely growing tired of the lack of give-and-take in your relationship. If that is the case, there are steps you can take for moving forward:
  • Make a decision to end your relationship

After months or years of dealing with manipulation and ego-trips, odds are your close friends and family would not blame you for throwing in the towel.
Typical narcissistic behavior is that if you try and end the relationship, they will either try and manipulate you into staying or turn on the charm in the hopes of winning back your favor.
Don’t buy it.
You deserve better than to be with someone who isn’t actually interested in being a part of your life.
  • If you live together, start withdrawing emotionally, little by little.

It’s also wise to start putting away a nest-egg of cash for when you do leave. You may also consider seeking the support of a lawyer, a trusted friend or family member. You may also need law enforcement when you finally leave to help prevent any violent outbursts.
If your spouse’s narcissistic behavior has turned dangerous to your mental or physical health, it’s time to call it quits. Once your partner has been abusive, it is likely that they will repeat the same behavior if you decide to cross them.
Even if you don’t but they feel threatened by you, they will not flinch before engaging in abusive behavior. There is no turning back from abuse. If you have been subjected to narcissistic abuse, you must gather help and resources to get out of the relationship.

You are the best judge of your relationship.

Exercise discretion to know if there is a hope for things to change for better or is your partner a looming threat to your well being.
However, keep in mind that narcissistic personality disorder is something that can be acquired during the growing ages. It isn’t easy to get rid off and sometimes, it’s completely impossible.
Even if you see some hope of resurrecting your relationship, exercise caution. Narcissists excel in the art of pretention and they can easily fool you into believing they can change. But that’s hardly possible, ever.
 
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Rachael Pace is a noted writer currently associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of her motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying about today’s evolving forms of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on all types of romantic connections. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.
 
 



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publicado por achama às 20:33
Sexta-feira, 25 / 01 / 19

7 Different Types of Anger and the Hidden Causes Behind Each ~ Sherrie.

7 Different Types of Anger and the Hidden Causes Behind Each.

By Sherrie.

January 24th, 2019 

 

types of anger.

 

 

Anger is an interesting emotion which comes from many different places. Understanding the various types of anger helps you also harness this feeling.

Before you start being judgemental about anger, take pause for a moment. Anger isn’t a “sin”, but what we do with that anger is what we deem to be wrong. There are so many types of anger developed from various emotions and experiences. Depending on what life is throwing at us, anger could be a number of things.

Anger in its many forms

Without delving too deeply into religion, I will give an example. In Christianity, Christ became angry one notable time. He walked through a temple and tossed tables and kicked over stands. Why did he do this? Because he was appalled by the gambling and other “unholy” things he witnessed in a holy place.
Now, it’s not for me to say what’s good or bad, but this is an example of what I call “righteous” anger and a testimony to how anger in itself is not bad. Righteous anger, for example, is anger based on morals and beliefs, many times spiritually based, you see. There are many types of anger as well, as I have said before.
There are many types of anger, yes, and these types represent reasoning of some sort. While some anger is slow to form, others can be a rapid burst of seemingly uncontrollable rage. In this rage is where we see anger taking on negative action.
So, let’s examine the different types of anger and the causes behind them.

1. Moral or righteous anger

As I stated above in the example, there are such things as righteous anger. It’s also called moral angerbecause it comes from being upset when someone breaks rules.
If you have rules set in a household and someone in that household breaks these rules, you will experience righteous anger. This is because most rules come from beliefs. Unfortunately, some people use the defense that you think you’re better than everyone else. It’s a common defense, and usually, just a way to deflect their guilt.
Now, let me tell you a secret about righteous anger. There is a hidden meaning behind this feeling. It seems that when someone gets strict in their righteous anger, it could be their attempt at control.
The truth is, righteous anger can go too far and turn you into a controlling and manipulative individual. So, be careful with that flaming sword.

2. Behavioral anger

Of all types of anger, this one is the most volatile. Behavioral anger is usually so strong that it turns physical. Now, this doesn’t mean that this anger always causes injuries.
Sometimes individuals who use this type of anger may only throw things or punch walls. Unfortunately, sometimes this emotion does result in attacking other people, and can certainly cause injuries and even legal consequences.
There are a few hidden secrets about this type of anger. Behavioral anger can come from past trauma or neglect. Without proper upbringing, a person cannot learn to control their emotions correctly, and with trauma, behavioral anger may be the only way to deal with hurts experienced early in life.
While so dangerous, this anger can still be treated and channeled in the right direction.

3. Habitual anger

When you’ve been angry for so long, it can be hard to stop being angry. This is not a joke, it’s a real problem. Habitual anger is a perpetual state of unrest and dissatisfaction with pretty much everything and everyone. When you try to deal with those who exhibit types of anger such as this, they will most often get angrier.
The hidden aspect of this anger lies within the past and trickles down through the years. Although this type of anger may have been born early in life, it has grown, due to various negative experiences in the years following.
For instance, if you are in your 4os, like me, then you’ve had several decades to feed and grow this anger. if you’ve had issues with habitual anger, then by now, your life may be a walking nightmare. Sorry, the truth hurts….but the good news is, you can learn to heal from this too.

4. Self-harm

Yes, self-harm is more than just depression. The act of self-harm can actually be a form of anger against one’s self. When people cut their skin, they could be exhibiting anger for how they look or their own conditions. It’s a complicated matter to understand sometimes, but it’s a negative emotion which must be revealed.
The hidden aspects of self-harm can come from many places. Self-harm can come from past abuse, trauma, neglect and so on. It can also come from repeated disappointments and broken relationships.
Basically, instead of focusing anger outward, people who suffer from self-harm may focus these emotions on the person within.

5. Vengeance

One of the most common types of anger is vengeance or revenge anger. It’s a basic form of anger which has been around since the beginning of time. With this form of anger, there’s usually not a lot of premeditation, except for the plans of getting revenge which come along with the emotion.
To be honest, there is little-hidden meaning behind this type of anger. It is straightforward and to the ones who feel this emotion, it is pure in its intent. Those who exhibit vengeance feel the emotions and actions are warranted.

6. Passive-aggression

While this type of anger may seem harmless, it sometimes can do quite a bit of damage. It just doesn’t leave scars in the way you think. With passive aggressive anger, emotions tend to be pushed down for the most part.
There is resentment, sarcasm, and mockery, all hiding behind a façade. Because of their inability to express themselves in a healthy manner, those who suffer from passive-aggressive emotions will internalize what they really feel.
One hidden secret about this form of anger is that it’s said to come from childhood emotional abuse. Some children are taught to not express negative emotions, and so they grow up to think passive aggression is a logical way of dealing with problems.

7. Incidental anger

One form of anger that most people see as normal is incidental anger. The truth is, this is pretty much a normal reaction to certain situations of injustice. To have incidental anger is to witness something which should be changed and have the patience to address this in a healthy manner.
There are usually no hidden agendas or secrets where this type of anger is involved.

Dealing with the anger of all types

Different types of anger must be addressed in various ways. While some forms are easy to deal with, others can be dangerous. Sometimes even professional help will be needed when dealing with certain situations.
As I stated before, anger in itself is not a bad thing. It’s all depends on the actions and negative thought patterns that you choose to utilize when you lose your temper. For future references, learn more about what makes you angry and how you can deal with this anger in the right way.
References:
  1. https://stress.lovetoknow.com
  2. https://www.everydayhealth.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 
About the Author: Sherrie

Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

COPYRIGHT © 2018 LEARNING MIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. FOR PERMISSION TO REPRINT, CONTACT US.

 
 




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All articles are of the respective authors and/or publishers responsibility. 

 

No religious or political belief is defended here. (Investigate yourself)

 

Individually you can be helped to find your Truth that is different of everyone. 

If you use discernment you are free to research with an open mind. 


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publicado por achama às 23:35
A Luz está a revelar a Verdade, e esta libertar-nos-á! -Só é real o AMOR Incondicional. -Quando o Amor superar o amor pelo poder, o mundo conhecerá a Paz; Jimi Hendrix. -Somos almas a ter uma experiência humana!

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